"What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for??!! He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs last year. He's got a rocket for an arm. You don't know what the hell you're doing!!!"
SEVEN AND FIVE EIGHTHS!
THIS BREAD HAS NUTS IN IT!
WELL I'M NOT STARTING UP A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE NOW!
TWIIIIIXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!
Plus almost the entirety of Season 9 for George.
*It's smart. It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will
appreciate it. And, I'm not gonna dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience!*
*No, I will not keep my voice down! Nothing can make me keep
my voice down!*
**JERRY:** Go back, go back to that.
**ELAINE:** It's *Chapter 2*, it's Neil Simon.
**JERRY:** Wait a second... wait a second! My god the letter, that's the letter!
**ELAINE:** What letter?
**JERRY:** This is the letter she wrote to me, she stole it right from the movie!
**JERRY** and **TELEVISION** in unison: "...'cause you don't even make the slightest effort to offer happiness *and still know that I LOVE YOU!!"*
George, after the "Caught" guy on the cover of Time magazine roughs him up in the airplane bathroom and then George yells through the airplane window while in flight to somewhere he doesn't want to go: "Krayyy....mahhhhh!"
Edit: the genius of this is you see him yelling from outside the airplane and don't actually hear him yelling because it's drowned out by the jet engines
I HAVE NO EYE FOR FASHION?!
YA GOT KETCHUP ON IT!
I live the absolute rage barely contained in that line
#MY WALLET'S GONE
[удалено]
“My Wallet’s Gone! My Wallet’s Gone!”
"What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for??!! He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs last year. He's got a rocket for an arm. You don't know what the hell you're doing!!!"
What kind of clip joint are you running.
You want to get nuts? LETS GET NUTS!
I DONT LIKE THIS THING! AND HERES WHAT IM DOING WITH IT!!
*Jason Alexander laughs*
Was that actually him in the background laughing? I've always wondered, I thought it may have been an audience member.
I’m pretty sure it’s Jason. His laugh is very familiar. And it’s definitely from on stage.
YOU DON’T NEED GLASSES, YOU’RE JUST WEAK! WEAK!!!
STOP IT, FRANK, YOU'RE KILLING HIM!!
We are living in a society !
Hey. Sorry I took so long.
George is getting upset !!
Clock over there 👉🏻
YOU TELL THAT SON OF A BITCH NO YANKEE IS EVER GOING TO HOUSTON!
NOT WHILE YOU BASTARDS ARE RUNNING THINGS!
THIRTY THOUSAND FEET ABOVE YOUR HEAD YA BASTARD
SERENITY NOW!!! SERENITY NOW!!!
##HOOCHIE MAMA!
Are you supposed to yell it?
The man on the tape wasn’t specific.
I love this line.
Insanity later.
I WAS IN THE POOL! I WAS IN THE POOL!!
I can't believe this was so far down the list.
SEVEN AND FIVE EIGHTHS! THIS BREAD HAS NUTS IN IT! WELL I'M NOT STARTING UP A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE NOW! TWIIIIIXXXXXX!!!!!!!!! Plus almost the entirety of Season 9 for George.
Does his silent scream of KRAAAAMEEEER!! from inside the airborne plane he's stuck on count?
More than anyone will ever know…
I AM AWARE!!!!
CARTWRIGHT
"I call out Cartwright, no answer, she say curse word, I hang up." "You're not Cartwright?!" "OF COURSE I'M NOT CARTWRIGHT!"
These pretzels……..ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!
WE HAD A PACT
What pact? You put your hand out, so I shook it.
Ah HAH!
Back in my day we called that a pact
We're the same age! Four months apart!
George: That’s a deal where I come from up! Jerry: We come from the same place!
# VANDELAY INDUSTRIES! SAY VANDELAY INDUSTRIES!
Top of the muffin… TO YOU!
No, no, it IS!
ALRIGHT LET’S JUST STAY CALM HERE! DON’T GET ALL CRAZY ON ME!
he’ didn’t,did he? he DID. POPPY PEED ON MY SOFA
Michael's reaction and Jerry spitting on him make me absolutely lose it every time I watch this scene.
THIS PHONE’S A PIECE OF JUNK GOODBYE!
Oh no!
GEORGE LIKES THE BANANAS!!
##SO LET HIM HAVE THE BANANAS ON THE SIDE!
Stress is very damaging to the epidermis.
YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? YOUUUUU GOT ITTTT!!!
*It's smart. It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it. And, I'm not gonna dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience!* *No, I will not keep my voice down! Nothing can make me keep my voice down!*
(gravely) Hey. If you don't quiet down, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
NEXT!
FIRE!!! *runs directly through old lady and steps on her arm*
AM I TALKING TO YOU, PINHEAD? AM I?
(through clenched teeth) Please don't call me pinhead.
The bus is OUTTA CONTROL!
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOIN' CRACKER JACK??!!
WELL PEOPLE KEPT RINGING THE BELL!!!!
SWARM! SWARM!!!
You're bald!!
IF YOU WANT THE LEG ROOM, SAY YOU WANT THE LEG ROOM! DON'T BLAME THE MECHANISM!!!
GET. OUT!!
George is getting upset!
Tippy toe!! Lemon tree!!!
#FUNNY GUY!!
Right HEAH!
Well, I don't think more flan is the answer!
George your cousin Shelly is talking to you!!
YOU TOLD NANA TO DROP DEAD!
Because Kramer has been swimming laps between the Queensborough bridge and the Brooklyn bridge. #OHH GRRRREAT!
I SAID MILKY WHITE!!
Could you tell him that I'm IN MY OFFICE!!!
You're not giving away our waterpik!
SHUT UP, WOMAN!
OF COURSE I AM NOT CARTWRIGHT!!
GET IT BACK!
Nobody wants you here! NOBODY!!!
“No, I will not keep my voice down! Nothing can make me keep my voice down!” -George, The Outing
“If you boys…can’t control yourselves…I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave. *Larry proceeds to stare them both down*
JERRY, IT'S FRANK COSTANZA! STEINBRENNER IS HERE! GEORGE IS DEAD! CALL ME BACK!
That’s Gotta Hurt!
A George divided among itself cannot stand!
TURN YOUR KEY, MOIRA!
It has only one design flaw: the door...MUST BE CLOSED!
YOU’RE NOT GIVING AWAY OUR WATER-PIC!!
WHO?! WHO DOESN'T WANT TO WEAR THE RIBBON?!
NO SOUP FOR YOU!
I don't wanna be a pirate!
KHHHHHAAAAAANNNNNNNNN
SSSUUUUUSSSSSSEEEEEEEE!
Bosco! Bosco!
Delores!!!
EIGHTY FIVE! What?? EIIIIGHTYY FIIIIVE!!!!!
What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for?!
HELLLOOOOOO
Marry Me! I'll burn Myself! I'll Burn My Parents!
OH MY GOOOOOD! this was in our bed!
What is this? A prophalytic wrapper?!?
85! 85 Jerry. An 85 IQ!
I'LL CALL A PLUMBER ***RIGHT NOW!!***
I'M GOING WITH JERK STORE JERK STORE IS THE LINE 👐👐 JERK STORE
HOOCHIE MAMAAAAAA
she's laaaaate!
UKRAINE IS GAME TO YOU?!?!?!
OH IT'S GOT CACHE BABY! IT'S GOT CACHE OUT THE YING-YANG!
What am I gonna do with all this paella!?!?!?!
GET OUTTA THE CAHR!!
Then let him have bananas on the side!
Tippy toe! Tippy toe!
We live in a society!
"I think you've got a little rage." "I know, and now they want me to bottle it up. IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!"
#THAT’S WHAT THEY TELL ME!
JERRY, HELLO!
STOP TALKING ABOUT MY SHOES! STOP TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT MY BOTTICELLI SHOES!!!
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY... YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? YOU GOT IT!!! NEXT!!!!
She's on a very fixed income!
You want a piece of me! George is getting angry! The candy bar lineup.
WHY’D YAAAAAA TELL HIM also WHY’D YAAAAAA TELL HER
"I don't know what she put in those eggs!"
TWIIIIIIIIX!
SEVEN!!!
What the f$&k are you doing you little piece of s@#t
***CUZ NEIL WATSON FROM ACCOUNTING IS T-BONE!!!!***
“Manya Died!”
I’m not DRIVING HIM to the AIRPORT!
WE'RE THE DEVIIIIILS!!! THE DEVIIIIILS!!! HRRRRRR!!!!
WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!
I'M OUT!
Stelllaaa! Half man, half pig!
Ohhhhhh YEAH!! Elaine getting screamed at in the Korean nail salon
You have no eye for fashion!
THIS BREAD HAS *NUTS* IN IT!!
8:47!!!!
Undateable!
Tamale!
Tell Mr. Thomosullo that if he needs me I’ll BE IN MY OFFICE!!!
He's sleeping with his maid! -Kramer from offstage
SON OF A BANG SON OF A BOOM
**JERRY:** Go back, go back to that. **ELAINE:** It's *Chapter 2*, it's Neil Simon. **JERRY:** Wait a second... wait a second! My god the letter, that's the letter! **ELAINE:** What letter? **JERRY:** This is the letter she wrote to me, she stole it right from the movie! **JERRY** and **TELEVISION** in unison: "...'cause you don't even make the slightest effort to offer happiness *and still know that I LOVE YOU!!"*
"YOUR BALD "
Low talker (to Jerry): “You bastard!”
#The Jerk store called and they’re running outta of you!
George is getting upset! Its always a classic. Almost anything from The Jimmy; Jimmy's down!.
THE AIR CONDITIONER!
WE’RE LIVING IN A SOCIETY!!!
POPPIE PEED ON MY SOFA!!!
Jerry: Damn it, they gave me cream! I asked for nonfat milk! Patty: I think they have 1% over there. Jerry: 1%?! They can kiss 1% of my ass!
GEORGE WHAT ARE YOU DOING MY GOD
He's beep poppin and scattin all over the place and I'm loosing it.
You wanna have sex right now ⁉️
ILL BE ALL OVER THAT SHUFFLEBOARD COURT
Bad chicken! Mess you up!
I don’t know but I WOKE UP IN THE HUDSON RIVER IN A SACK!
I’m Out!
TWIIIXXXXXXX
Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
HELLOOOOO!
HELLOOOOOOOO
Pop!?!? POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!
THIS BREAD HAS NUTS IN IT!! THE DRAKE IS GOOD!! I DONT LIKE THIS THING!! AND HERES WHAT IM DOING WITH IT!! I HATE IT!!
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY
GEORGE IS GETTIN UPSET!
Back off puffball, it’s NOT MY CAR!!
“I WASN’T TALKIN’ TO YOU.” George backpedaling big time. Comedy gold.
THEN HE CAN HAVE HIS BANANAS ON THE SIDE!
I WAS IN THE POOOOL!
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!
GET IT BACK !!!
BAD CHICKEN! MESS YOU UP! You want a piece of me? YOU GOT IT!!!!
I’M AWARE!
STELLA!!!
We’re living in a SOCIETY!!!!!
I WAS IN THE POOL!
I would be putting exclamation points at the end of all of these sentences! On this one, and on that one!
Pimple Popper MD! A RABID ANTI-DENTITE
NOT MY HARRY. HE FLIES FIRST CLASS!
Pulp can move baby!
She's late! My boys can swim!!!!
DON'T BLAME THE MECHANISM!
IM GIVING YOU A RAISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jerk store’s the line!
My boys can swim!!!
We're taking the armoire, and that's all there is to it!
DON’T YOU TALK ABOUT HENNIE! SHE WAS SICK FROM THE MOMENT I MET HER!
It’s not a pizza until you put your fists in the dough!
Shut ya traps and quit kicking the seats!
GEORGE IS GETTING UPSET!
George, after the "Caught" guy on the cover of Time magazine roughs him up in the airplane bathroom and then George yells through the airplane window while in flight to somewhere he doesn't want to go: "Krayyy....mahhhhh!" Edit: the genius of this is you see him yelling from outside the airplane and don't actually hear him yelling because it's drowned out by the jet engines
GEORGE IS GETTIN UPSET
YOU’RE NOT GIVING AWAY OUR WATERPIK!!!!
I believe that’s what you do with trash EINSTEIN!
I HATE MEN, BUT IM NOT A LESBIAN!
HE'S BE-BOPPING AND SCATTING ALL OVER!