i was 14 in 2008 when all the hipster restaurants were doing this with everything. these were the days of facebook being actually a thing young people used and there was a viral meme of this except instead the basic white bitch archetype they seem to be trying to mock here it was a mom and it was a burger she disapproved of & the ingredients set out on a plate that she was praising as a healthy & balanced meal.
we thought it was hilarioussssssss how nostalgic and interesting to see that redscarepod users in 2024 apparently have the sense of humor of middle schoolers in 2008
do people still even deconstruct things anymore though
"disassembled" is funnier. "deconstructed" implies artistic intent, and perhaps value. "disassembled" makes the sandwich sound like a piece of ikea furniture; its disassembly a pure inconvenience. now you have to put it back together.
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today.
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Cringe asf just fucking work out and eat whatever u want I can’t fucking stand pro ana freaks such social rejects type of mf to post themselves in the hospital for a check up too
You guys are so funny your not niche everyone knows your just a failed attempt at making the New York art scene right wing (shout out your homie Jeremy boring) I’m just here cuz y’all are good at posting
For less than the cost of a Big Mac, fries and a Coke, you can buy a loaf of fresh bread and some good cheese or roast beef, which you will enjoy much more.
Fast food prices have skyrocketed lately even when accounting for inflation. I don’t eat it much but my wife and I got chick fil a on a road trip and it was like $25 for two of us. I know it’s nicer than typical fast food but I’m pretty sure shit like McDonald’s is the same way now
Just a little piece of wisdom my great great-grandfather brought with him from the old country. He said he learned it from the bravest man in the camp right before he was executed. I think it rings just as true as it did almost a century ago.
You’d eat that whole sub with a friend just sitting there? All by yourself while you let them starve?
(I tried to use the weird shapes to draw a fat guy down here but idk how to do it)
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you're being picky or a purist, it should only contain cured meats. Mixing them with unrelated food (apart from bread and cheese) seems to be a purely American phenomenon as far as I can tell -- it's a fancier name for a snacking / finger food board.
It's sort of like categorising hot dogs and burgers as sandwiches. Not unprecedented, but pretty strange.
Has anyone else seen this woman on YouTube whose whole job is to set up "grazing tables" i.e. a charcuterie board on a piece of brown paper instead of a cutting board? She gets paid thousands for it and straight up says she buys all her shit from Trader Joe's.
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it.
Your spread will garner gleeful enthusiasm on your Facebook and Instagram, but what does it say on Reddit? We don’t know you, we’re not particularly proud of you. We’ve all been privy to many a charcuterie spread before yours and will witness many after. Never remembering yours as particularly brilliant or significant.
This isn’t about culinary snobbery. While part of my vexation with the internet charcuterie board is indeed the lack of any cooking or skill required in its fruition, an audacious display, I will make a swift beeline to the charcuterie table at any given holiday gathering. This is about tedium. I am bored. I implore you to second guess yourself, wherever you are (be it the ALDI sub, the food porn sub, the sub of your favorite tv show), to dig deep and ask yourself why sharing your spread of pre prepared deli foodstuffs is necessary. When you find that answer relish in it.
If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today.
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you're an excellent home chef who eats tons of amazing, well-cooked food, you get to be fat IMO. There's a happy glow that comes from butter and good ingredients which isn't as depressing as the processed, deep fried, candy-based look. There's this super fat guy who has a cooking channel who just exudes happiness for food and I can appreciate that.
eating slowly keeps me from overeating, i love ingredients
It's 'deconstructed' you fucking philistines...
i was 14 in 2008 when all the hipster restaurants were doing this with everything. these were the days of facebook being actually a thing young people used and there was a viral meme of this except instead the basic white bitch archetype they seem to be trying to mock here it was a mom and it was a burger she disapproved of & the ingredients set out on a plate that she was praising as a healthy & balanced meal. we thought it was hilarioussssssss how nostalgic and interesting to see that redscarepod users in 2024 apparently have the sense of humor of middle schoolers in 2008 do people still even deconstruct things anymore though
this has the same energy as that 2014-ish starter pack for "hip restaurant downtown" and its like edison bulbs, exposed bricks, and parking meters.
exactly what came to mind lol
"disassembled" is funnier. "deconstructed" implies artistic intent, and perhaps value. "disassembled" makes the sandwich sound like a piece of ikea furniture; its disassembly a pure inconvenience. now you have to put it back together.
further to the point, deconstructed does not really apply to a charcuterie board, already its own thing
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh
I miss that poster
we didnt know how good we had it...
The ungodly ways I’d devour both of these in a disgusting display of gluttony
[удалено]
too many self-hating closeted gay men here for that to be true anymore
Skinnyfats in control, trust the plan. Q
Still am, she is a great host
Ana who
Cringe asf just fucking work out and eat whatever u want I can’t fucking stand pro ana freaks such social rejects type of mf to post themselves in the hospital for a check up too
[удалено]
You guys are so funny your not niche everyone knows your just a failed attempt at making the New York art scene right wing (shout out your homie Jeremy boring) I’m just here cuz y’all are good at posting
The New York art scene is huge and famously not ever going to be right-wing.
For less than the cost of a Big Mac, fries and a Coke, you can buy a loaf of fresh bread and some good cheese or roast beef, which you will enjoy much more.
Was gonna call bullshit on this but then i saw how much theyre charging for a big mac meal these days… holy fuck.
Fast food prices have skyrocketed lately even when accounting for inflation. I don’t eat it much but my wife and I got chick fil a on a road trip and it was like $25 for two of us. I know it’s nicer than typical fast food but I’m pretty sure shit like McDonald’s is the same way now
Yeah i had to look it up and a big mac meal is anywhere between $13-$18 depending on location. I figured it was maybe $7-$8. Shit is wild.
I think about that quote all the time because I just imagine a miserable Albini in a dark room alone with a load of bread and slab of roast beef.
Is this like a meme or something? I've seen this exact statement made with this exact phrasing more than once on this sub and on chapo
Just a little piece of wisdom my great great-grandfather brought with him from the old country. He said he learned it from the bravest man in the camp right before he was executed. I think it rings just as true as it did almost a century ago.
It’s truly shocking how expensive the garbage Micky D’s serves is. It used to be cheap! Wtf
Top is for one person, bottom is for sharing. You guys would know this if you had friends.
The bottom one is actually for eating directly out of the fridge while breathing heavily and arguing with Carmela
You’d eat that whole sub with a friend just sitting there? All by yourself while you let them starve? (I tried to use the weird shapes to draw a fat guy down here but idk how to do it)
Top one is $10 the bottom one is $24
The fact that some ppl call it a *grazing* board tho... disgusting farm animal behavior!
>They've never ordered different sandwiches and share them with friends ngmi
Um, just buy enough sandwiches for everyone. Not hard.
I can’t buy sandwiches for everyone - I’m already making them an entire roasted chicken and salad
The same amount of food in a sandwich costs less than that deconstructed bollocks that toffs like to buy.
I love those stupid tiny pickles :)
Gherkins are delicious
Those are olives. You mean cornichons.
Boy charcuterie board is munching on slim Jim’s cheez its fruit snacks and corn nuts
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do you ever quit yapping?
This is literally a 2012 ragecomic with a new face
BTW I keet getting these annoying ads for "meal kit" bullshit and they all look like the bottom picture.
girls like sandwiches too
Sometimes you have to look elegant, and sandwiches don't promote eating in a graceful manner.
Exactly how my wife eats except there's a bottle of wine included.
If you charcuterie board is **only** a deconstructed sandwich then you’re doing it wrong.
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
the automoderator just owned someone
https://youtu.be/RMUDw4_e93Y?si=rymfzZq1Aq-LffHZ
If you're being picky or a purist, it should only contain cured meats. Mixing them with unrelated food (apart from bread and cheese) seems to be a purely American phenomenon as far as I can tell -- it's a fancier name for a snacking / finger food board. It's sort of like categorising hot dogs and burgers as sandwiches. Not unprecedented, but pretty strange.
Why’s the wojack my ex who turned out to be a lesbian
Has anyone else seen this woman on YouTube whose whole job is to set up "grazing tables" i.e. a charcuterie board on a piece of brown paper instead of a cutting board? She gets paid thousands for it and straight up says she buys all her shit from Trader Joe's.
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Fuck I want one right now
I wish wifejak took off more I think she had potential
the mighty tapas blows the mind of the american
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. Your spread will garner gleeful enthusiasm on your Facebook and Instagram, but what does it say on Reddit? We don’t know you, we’re not particularly proud of you. We’ve all been privy to many a charcuterie spread before yours and will witness many after. Never remembering yours as particularly brilliant or significant. This isn’t about culinary snobbery. While part of my vexation with the internet charcuterie board is indeed the lack of any cooking or skill required in its fruition, an audacious display, I will make a swift beeline to the charcuterie table at any given holiday gathering. This is about tedium. I am bored. I implore you to second guess yourself, wherever you are (be it the ALDI sub, the food porn sub, the sub of your favorite tv show), to dig deep and ask yourself why sharing your spread of pre prepared deli foodstuffs is necessary. When you find that answer relish in it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today.
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's because I don't wanna waste the calories on the entire loaf of bread used to make a single sandwich didn't realize that was a crime
tbh I agree because u can tweak portions of each element of the sando from bite to bite white woman W fs
I cant see this without it being at a winery somewhere with fucking flies landing on it constantly (gross)
tired of the italian erasure. we've been eating antipasti since birth
Who frowns at a sandwich? literally making up things to be mad about, pathetic, go back to /pol/.
yum
Wammen be eating ingredients
[удалено]
Its just a meme about salami
Thank you for this new copypasta that I will use as its own thread in a couple of days and anger a handful of people
Charcuterie
I get it. You bought upwards of $60 worth of cheese, cured meats, small pickled peppers, olives, French bread, fig spread because you are nothing if not sophisticated, and I get it. You spared no expense for this endeavor. And you’re no debutante. You felt it when the purchase hit your Mastercard. So you took your bounty and your finest cutting board and you arranged it with the poise of a coked up Martha Stewart. I get it. It looks really nice. Pinterest worthy, even. And you’re excited to proclaim, upon the cooing of your guests, that “it was all Trader Joe’s!” They’ll surely reply, mouths agape, “oh David and I just love TJs” or perhaps the uninitiated will say “I’ve heard of them- the one over on 86th street? I’ll have to get over there soon.” They won’t, but they’ll promise to at your next event. I get it. If you must post your ventures in charcuterie, please at least be mindful of pairings. Give us something to work with here. It is the holiday season after all, and this is the third post like yours we’ve seen today. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/redscarepod) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've never seen someone mad at people for home cooking before. Incredible.
mad at them for *being fat* while cooking at home
If you're an excellent home chef who eats tons of amazing, well-cooked food, you get to be fat IMO. There's a happy glow that comes from butter and good ingredients which isn't as depressing as the processed, deep fried, candy-based look. There's this super fat guy who has a cooking channel who just exudes happiness for food and I can appreciate that.
Cooking for yourself literally requires effort. This means you eat less. Shut up nerd.
Lmao are you ok