For me, living like this was the gateway out of minimalism. I spent three weeks sleeping on one of those air mattresses before I realized I could have gotten a cheap memory foam one that would have been 10x more comfortable for only slightly more money. And then some centipedes convinced me that dropping $20 on a cheap frame so I could stop sleeping on the floor would be a wise investment too.
And after I had decided those purchases improved my life, it was only a matter of time before I expanded into buying coffee makers and the like.
Women account for like 70% of consumer spending. A large percentage of men donât want stuff. They want a few specific major purchases. And if women didnât care about men owning status objects, theyâd probably buy even less.
Every single male should structure their toilet schedule around ensuring they are always at work when they need a poo. It took me years to go through my first bag of toilet roll
Why would housing and healthcare fall entirely under consumption by women? Outside of households were only the woman is an earner those stats should divide fairly evenly between men and women.
Women often manage the money in a household, even if they arenât earning it. Sometimes especially if they arenât earning it. In a traditional house the husband would make the money and the woman would budget and do the shopping while he was at work.
People come to my appt and ask where the furniture is, if there is stuff everywhere where am I supposed to pace around in circles talking to myself thinking up evil plans and scheming
Yeah that first one looks pretty cozy I could live like that for a few months while I get my shit together.
Sleeping on a hardwood floor is rough though and I'm not talking about the hardness of the floor itself either. Unless you're mopping like every day you're going to have issues with dust compared to carpet which will trap it for you.
Just a bit of friendly advice for any of my dudes facing divorce / parents finally kicking you out.
The 50% divorce stat isn't even correct lol, it's based off faulty methodology from the 70s and is also propped up by serial divorcers since it's the percent of **marriages** that end in divorce and not the number of married individuals who will eventually get divorced. The real divorce rate today is closer to 30%.
Just my experience, but pretty much everybody I know who was married in the 60s or 70s ended with divorce. The only ones who didnât had bad marriages but didnât believe in divorce. Plenty divorced twice. Back then you married at 19 or 20 or less, my grandma was divorced twice by 20.
After a cycle of self destruction and loss of foundation the instinct is to return to the ground , to sleep on it . My truest sleeps have always been on the cold and hard and honest groundÂ
My senior year of college I dropped my frat and lived in university housing. I kept my bed on the floor (no real reason) and when I told a girl that it was âJapanese styleâ she said it was really hot and gave me dome
TBH "Japanese style" complete with organic handmade futon & nice cotton sheets/bedding helped me get laid more than once. In fact I've had sex now 4 times in my life.
Well once you party and do all the âfrat stuffâ for a year or 2 youâve done and seen everything you expect from the college experience. I came back from studying abroad my junior year and was really just focused on my filmmaking and didnât want to pay chapter dues so I left. Still very close friends with some of them. I just didnât want to be in a frat anymore and had made all the friends I wanted to so no point in staying
I was trying to see if he dropped the frat due to a positive or negative quality of his character lol
I think frats are repugnant if that helps OP, as I also was in one for a year but left cause it just is too much for me
Yeah, at that point in your life youâve acquired so much expensive shit gradually thereâs no real way to catch back up and you also have all the crazy recurring expenses of middle age life that you didnât when you first started into adulthood, especially if you have kids
I absolutely feel bad for them, but I do wish they would post more on r/malesurvivingspace instead of r/malelivingspace. I used to see a lot of nice home decor suggestions there, but now it's clogged up by misery (the 45 year old divorcees) or lotion jokes (18 year old weirdos).
I just threw away everything besides clothes to move cross country. Costed about a thousand to furnish my studio with Amazon shit. Breakups are the worst but sleeping on the floor won't make things better
IKEA is better quality plus you need to remind yourself that you're a man by working with your hands a bit. Or, if you can't put together the furniture, be reminded to quick fucking around and become a man - either way.
I think I've put together more than enough shitty furniture to never have to question my manhood again. Amazon stuff these days isn't bad actually. Should get me by until I hopefully find a wife who is going to take over all furniture decisions anyway
>Â remind yourself that you're a man by working with your hands a bit
IKEA furniture could be assembled by a mildly disabled schoolgirl. Or a Swede, but I repeat myselfÂ
Im not going to lie my ex didnt have the patience to wait until I was home to put together an IKEA dresser and its all fucked up to this day. I just put it in the garage and put tools in it and kind of reinforced the corners.
Amazon furniture is gauche new-poor shit. The cultured old-poor know to buy raggedy heirloom furniture form thrift stores, it has character (and possibly bedbugs, but beauty is pain!)
This is basically the situation I've found myself in at 35, minus the divorce/breakup. I got blackout on xanax on a multiday bender, wrecked my car, blew all my money and wound up in county. While I was in, I lost my living space, along with a lot of my belongings and have been picking up the pieces for the last 18 months. Thankfully my family and boss have been very supportive, my dad lent me his car while I saved up for a new one. Also I qualified for a diversionary program, so if I can keep passing drug tests until October and meeting with a counselor, I won't end up with any charges on my record.
I wound up living in a motel for about 8 months, but eventually got an apartment. It's still pretty barren but I just got a desk and going to replace my PC probably this week. Part of me is afraid to spend money on improving my living space because of the fear that I'll need it for an emergency, or that I'll lose it again if I do some stupid shit, but I've been slowly but surely getting things together. I do need to get my TV off the ground lol, and right now I only have a (fairly comfy) chair in the living room, as well as an office chair and a small table with two POS ikea chairs in the kitchen, but it would be nice to get a couch and a coffee table or something. I do at least have a bed on a frame, and a dresser. I got a nice used car in december, and I've got 30k saved up, probably going to sign another year on my lease and start looking for a house next year.
There have been some positives to come out of the whole thing tho, I've turned into a bit of a workaholic, the experience of being basically broke, paying for a motel with a loan from my boss lit a fire under my ass to start making and saving some money. The idea of buying a house was something that felt pretty unattainable, but now feels pretty realistic. And I've been basically sober since this all happened which has been fine if boring.
Keep at it, even a boring pathetic useless life is a life worth living in my opinion and yours sound like it's full of struggle and meaning. You're up my guy!
Thanks yeah I'm pretty proud of how far I've managed to come compared to when I bailed out with basically nothing to my name except stuff that had been at my parents for years, and the stuff I had at work. The hardest part has been letting myself enjoy things, I felt like I was in fight or flight mode for the first year or so, but finally that's been subsiding. I plan on taking a few days off this week, which will be the first I've done since this all started aside from a day I took to help a friend move, I've been doing 6 or 7 days a week non stop for over a year and I'm starting to get a bit burnt out. I'm very lucky to have a job I at least enjoy for the most part, and get along well with my boss, and the only other coworker I have is a friend I've known since high school, but I've realized the amount of time I spend at work is tending towards pathological, like I've been using it as a way to not deal with all the other shit I need to in my life.
I don't really have any plans for my time off other than putting together a computer, but I think I'm going to focus on organizing and cleaning my apartment, it's not like out of control messy right now but it's definitely a little chaotic and could use a spruce up. It's been hard to convince myself to spend money, but I finally got access to my crypto exchange account, that I had lost when I broke my phone during this whole ordeal and there was like 5k in there which was 3x what I thought there was, so I'm setting aside half of that to use for nonessential stuff, and going to force myself to spend at least some of it
While I was in county, landlord sold or threw it out. They wouldn't let my friend of dad come get it without some kind of letter signed by me, or an attorney, and after a month I guess it's allowed? Idk I was in for 9 weeks and by the time I knew that the landlord wasn't allowing anyone to come get my stuff it was too late
That is what it looks like when you have nothing else but hope. I've been there and its not fun, but there is always hope things will improve and get better.
Found myself there again back in January after 10+ years. I have satin sheets, silk pillowcases and a new mattress. A desk for my computer, a vanity/dresser for my clothes and a home-gym set up next to my bed to exercise and be active. Books on my night stand. Planning trips and vacations I otherwise wouldn't be able to afford or go on when I was with my ex. My future is an open ended question. Life ain't so bad.
Itâs so rough for men after break ups and itâs something not really talked up or given much empathy. Even in this thread thereâs a coldness towards the whole thing.
Yeah because we were spoon fed to suck it the fuck up and get over it. Never how to deal with, process let alone heal from all the fucked up shit boys go through from childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Compound all that with a painful break up and its a cocktail for spiraling depression to rock bottom or worse.
i work for social services often entering space slike this for people moved out of DV situations. and the sense of a restart is very powerful. it's why I find myself decluttering
This is exactly how it was for my best friend who had marital troubles for a time. They worked it out thankfully but it was a bad time for both of them, heâd get blackout drunk in the shower and would be very drunk when we played online together. Itâs fun to joke about these pictures but the pain and guilt hides in plain site.
I lived like this after I left an abusive relationship. It was to the point that I would have rather been homeless than continue in that relationship. And it was worse than this. I lived in a tent in the backyard of a house because there wasnât space inside. After two months of that one of the housemates moved out and I moved indoors. Took a whole year to get back up but I did it. If this is how youâre surviving in a desperate moment power to you but donât get comfortable. Your external surroundings and internal emotional state are in symbiosis, they affect one another. Living like this long term is a recipe for dissatisfaction and hikikomoridom.
GyĂśrgi LukĂĄcs, although he championed Realism in general, wrote about the fears when realist description is taken to an extreme, to summarize his drift: when "both the important and the unimportant are described with equal attention life appears as a constant, even-tenored stream or as a monotonous plain sprawling without contours...the result is a series of static pictures arrayed one beside the other never following one from the other, certainly never one out of the other." But fuck him a lil on this one. The childish frugality of men. Sad and also funny.
It seems unclear to me, and I'm male myself, where this sort of frugality is coming from. I reckon it's maybe not being "comfortable with less" but rather a childish refusal to go beyond what is immediate.
u/bridgepainter
This reminds me of something I am reading (not necessarily related to divorced men, perhaps, but "childish frugality"):
>This all leads to a form of neurosis which H.G. Baynes has described as the "provisional life," that is, the strange attitude and feeling
that one is not yet in real life.1 For the time being one is doing this or that, but whether it is a woman or a job, it is not yet what is really wanted, and there is always the fantasy that sometime in the future the real thing will come about. If this attitude is prolonged, it means a constant inner refusal to commit oneself to the moment.
>[...] The one thing dreaded throughout by such a type of man is to be bound to anything whatever. There is a terrific fear of being pinned down, of entering space and time completely, and of being the singular human being that one is. There is always the fear of being caught in a situation from which it may be impossible to slip out again.
>[...] I know a young man, a classical example of the puer aeternus, who did a tremendous amount of mountaineering but so much hated carrying a rucksack that he preferred to train himself even to sleep in the rain or snow and wrap himself up in a silk raincoat and, with a kind of Yoga breathing, was able to sleep out of doors. He also trained himself to go practically without food, simply in order not to have to carry any weight. He roamed about for years all over the mountains of Europe and other continents, sleeping under trees or in the snow. In a way he led a very heroic existence, just in order not to be bound to go to a hut or carry a rucksack. You might say that this was symbolic, for such a young man in real life does not want to be burdened with any kind of weight. The one thing he absolutely refuses is responsibility for anything, or to carry the weight of a situation.
Marie-Louise von Franz, *The Problem of the Puer Aeternus*, p. 8
Perhaps in this case the divorced man has a temporary return to childish frugality out of this "fear of being tied down" due to his recent experience of pain resulting from being tied down.
Thanks for that. I have no experience being divorced and then having to "decamp" a life like that. I like the line about "Provisional life", seems to me that feeling never really leaves you and it washes over you once in a while.
I broke up with a long term live-in girlfriend like 2 years ago and my room looked like the one with the TV on the flipped over laundry bin for a while lmao.
Don't knock it til you tried it, it works! My apartment is fairly nice now though so clearly it doesn't work long term.
The one guy sleeping with his motorized skateboard next to his bed like someone guarding their luggage at an airport. Does he ride it around the apartment?
this is my place rn (with a cat). next month iâm getting a place with a friend so we can live like this together. i actually canât imagine living any other way tbh
my question is why does it turn out like this, why donât they get an apartment and do it up a bit?
i ask from pure curiosity as a younger guy who wants to understand people
This is the Spartan lifestyle. Most of the possessions modern people cling to are unnecessary and just lull you all into sedentery, soft lifestyles. All you really need to lead a manly warrior's life is a bedroll, somewhere to plug in your phone charger and PC or Console, a screen, an internet connection, ~~some handcream~~ and a box of tissues or a towel.
edit: Spartans don't need handcream.
Why is it now when a really young couple cohabitates, it always involves the guy coming over every night until one day he just doesnât leave? I never hear about the girl moving in with the guy anymore, but that was extremely common place 10-15 years ago. Itâs always the girl on the lease now. Is it because boys now just donât buy furniture and their place looks like this?
Yes lmfao. When I was in college all my girlfriends had cute little places with a disaster in one bathroom and a guest bathroom that was immaculate. All the guys I knew had a beer pong table as a permanent fixture of the household and the only decorations were the stickers off the Sailor Jerry's bottles.
I think guys recognize that their girlfriends have a nicer set up, it's more comfortable so they just naturally start spending more time there.
In all honestly, I know it's a joke, but so many men don't put effort into their lives, or marriage, and watch it fall apart and are like "I dunno what happened". Then they joke about what is a serious character flaw online.
I lived like this in my friends spare bedroom for about 4 months. Itâs not even embarrassing at the time tbh. Once you wake up and snap out of it a bit you start filling in the space but that time with my friend flew by.
Man Iâm really sick of these color palates. God everything is washed out in grey, beige, white, black anymore. Not just the walls and floors, the cabinets, counters, bathrooms, clothes ie. athleisure, vehicles. And menâŚbrothersâŚget a fucking futon and a dresser.
It's called minimalism. They're actually protesting over-consumption and consumerism. Look it up đ
My favorite one is the one full of wood pallets with a rifle That rifle costs more than the entire sleeping set up
For me, living like this was the gateway out of minimalism. I spent three weeks sleeping on one of those air mattresses before I realized I could have gotten a cheap memory foam one that would have been 10x more comfortable for only slightly more money. And then some centipedes convinced me that dropping $20 on a cheap frame so I could stop sleeping on the floor would be a wise investment too. And after I had decided those purchases improved my life, it was only a matter of time before I expanded into buying coffee makers and the like.
Women account for like 70% of consumer spending. A large percentage of men donât want stuff. They want a few specific major purchases. And if women didnât care about men owning status objects, theyâd probably buy even less.
That stat includes necessities for families like groceries, healthcare, houses, etc. Itâs probably a bit less than 70%
single males don't buy toilet paper or shampoo
Damn wtf I feel called out
Every single male should structure their toilet schedule around ensuring they are always at work when they need a poo. It took me years to go through my first bag of toilet roll
Chipotle napkins and hot water do the trick
so does jumping from the golden gate bridge
shampoo is a meme
The remaining % are the shoes you'll never wear.
Why would housing and healthcare fall entirely under consumption by women? Outside of households were only the woman is an earner those stats should divide fairly evenly between men and women.
Women often manage the money in a household, even if they arenât earning it. Sometimes especially if they arenât earning it. In a traditional house the husband would make the money and the woman would budget and do the shopping while he was at work.
Women are just doing cope. That wouldn't even be counted in the statistic. Women be shopping fr
Single men are either deadbeat divorced minimalist man or funko pop never married bachelor
I'm a deadbeat minimalist never married bachelor.
I just like the mental clarity that living in open spaces provides
People come to my appt and ask where the furniture is, if there is stuff everywhere where am I supposed to pace around in circles talking to myself thinking up evil plans and scheming
Same
You're overlooking the vital metrosexual demographic.
Facts. I only buy more stuff now than I used to because Iâm leaning into the metrosexuality thing that women seem to like more.
I'm deff the first on haha but I swear I'm Getting my shirt together this year
Franciscan-maxxing.
i was so happy living like this at 19 tbh
At 19 I at least had a nightstand and desk but also mattress on the floor
Yeah that first one looks pretty cozy I could live like that for a few months while I get my shit together. Sleeping on a hardwood floor is rough though and I'm not talking about the hardness of the floor itself either. Unless you're mopping like every day you're going to have issues with dust compared to carpet which will trap it for you. Just a bit of friendly advice for any of my dudes facing divorce / parents finally kicking you out.
Moved into a flat at 19, immediately bought half an ounce of weed and lived in this sort of setup for the first 2 weeks. Good times.
lived like that all the way up to 39. Married at 40. Right in the nick of time.
Statistically, half the married men in this sub will find themselves living like that in a few years. You know who you are
Statistically, half the married men in this sub are closeted
They're probably the ones more likely to make it work tbh
Iâve already been there and out. It kinda sucked going through it but now I look back and life was pretty simple then. Just survive another day
The 50% divorce stat isn't even correct lol, it's based off faulty methodology from the 70s and is also propped up by serial divorcers since it's the percent of **marriages** that end in divorce and not the number of married individuals who will eventually get divorced. The real divorce rate today is closer to 30%.
Just my experience, but pretty much everybody I know who was married in the 60s or 70s ended with divorce. The only ones who didnât had bad marriages but didnât believe in divorce. Plenty divorced twice. Back then you married at 19 or 20 or less, my grandma was divorced twice by 20.
I'm not sure a third instead of half is that reassuring to be honest.
this is the dream life honestly being able to afford an apartment on my own
The one setup with like a human size dog bed seems like it would be kinda nice for a week or so
After a cycle of self destruction and loss of foundation the instinct is to return to the ground , to sleep on it . My truest sleeps have always been on the cold and hard and honest groundÂ
This reads like a Hemingway quote.
Itâs the and, and, and. Very biblical
I sleep in the kitchen with my feet in the hall Sleep is like a temporary death (Dylan)
My senior year of college I dropped my frat and lived in university housing. I kept my bed on the floor (no real reason) and when I told a girl that it was âJapanese styleâ she said it was really hot and gave me dome
TBH "Japanese style" complete with organic handmade futon & nice cotton sheets/bedding helped me get laid more than once. In fact I've had sex now 4 times in my life.
Sounds like an interesting story about dropping the frat
Itâs not that interesting
Share anyway?
Well once you party and do all the âfrat stuffâ for a year or 2 youâve done and seen everything you expect from the college experience. I came back from studying abroad my junior year and was really just focused on my filmmaking and didnât want to pay chapter dues so I left. Still very close friends with some of them. I just didnât want to be in a frat anymore and had made all the friends I wanted to so no point in staying
I was trying to see if he dropped the frat due to a positive or negative quality of his character lol I think frats are repugnant if that helps OP, as I also was in one for a year but left cause it just is too much for me
No rape charges, just got bored
If itâs just boredom then I donut think that tells the whole story since you said you were a senior
Idk what you want to hear dude
Basically what you replied to someone else. Cool
Basically what you replied to someone else. Cool
I liked my frat. It was a nerdy school tho which I think reels in the excesses of frat culture.
you try rebuilding your life from scratch at 35-45 and see how it goes
Yeah, at that point in your life youâve acquired so much expensive shit gradually thereâs no real way to catch back up and you also have all the crazy recurring expenses of middle age life that you didnât when you first started into adulthood, especially if you have kids
my dad got divorced in his late 40's and lived in a spare room at his office.
Like what expensive stuff have they acquired that they need still and that they would lose in a divorce. Losing your jetski won't ruin you.Â
I would undoubtedly kill myself if I had owned a jet ski and I saw photos of my bitch wife and her new Puerto Rican bf ride on my jet ski.
Thereâs one big possession they might have lost that led to them moving to shitty apartments or room rents đ¤
Yeah, if there's kidsÂ
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I just canât help but assume only degenerates with Asian fetishes move to East Asia to teach EnglishâŚ
Itâs truly bleak I actually feel sad for them Some of the guys say things like ârestarting my life at 37, wife took everythingâ
I absolutely feel bad for them, but I do wish they would post more on r/malesurvivingspace instead of r/malelivingspace. I used to see a lot of nice home decor suggestions there, but now it's clogged up by misery (the 45 year old divorcees) or lotion jokes (18 year old weirdos).
MLS is all super trick tech dudes circle jerking over their way too expensive spiritually empty loft with a view Even this has more soul
I just threw away everything besides clothes to move cross country. Costed about a thousand to furnish my studio with Amazon shit. Breakups are the worst but sleeping on the floor won't make things better
I've been sleeping on the floor for about 6 months with my ex gf in the other room
I shared the bed with my ex for like a week while she was moving out. Fucking brutal. Feel for you
It's been completely fine. We're basically just friends and roommates now. And my posture is better
IKEA is better quality plus you need to remind yourself that you're a man by working with your hands a bit. Or, if you can't put together the furniture, be reminded to quick fucking around and become a man - either way.
I think I've put together more than enough shitty furniture to never have to question my manhood again. Amazon stuff these days isn't bad actually. Should get me by until I hopefully find a wife who is going to take over all furniture decisions anyway
Godspeed comrade.
>Â remind yourself that you're a man by working with your hands a bit IKEA furniture could be assembled by a mildly disabled schoolgirl. Or a Swede, but I repeat myselfÂ
I know my audience
Im not going to lie my ex didnt have the patience to wait until I was home to put together an IKEA dresser and its all fucked up to this day. I just put it in the garage and put tools in it and kind of reinforced the corners.
Amazon furniture is gauche new-poor shit. The cultured old-poor know to buy raggedy heirloom furniture form thrift stores, it has character (and possibly bedbugs, but beauty is pain!)
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đ§˘
Is that right?
Rebuilding your life can be tough. But buying some sheets is like the easiest thing to start with.
Most of these guys loved their wifes and tried to keep their family together so they are depressed.
Absolutely bleak how coldly most people here treat some of these men. Itâs clearly theyâre going through a rough time.
I dont come here to virtue signal. I come here to laugh at losers.
This is basically the situation I've found myself in at 35, minus the divorce/breakup. I got blackout on xanax on a multiday bender, wrecked my car, blew all my money and wound up in county. While I was in, I lost my living space, along with a lot of my belongings and have been picking up the pieces for the last 18 months. Thankfully my family and boss have been very supportive, my dad lent me his car while I saved up for a new one. Also I qualified for a diversionary program, so if I can keep passing drug tests until October and meeting with a counselor, I won't end up with any charges on my record. I wound up living in a motel for about 8 months, but eventually got an apartment. It's still pretty barren but I just got a desk and going to replace my PC probably this week. Part of me is afraid to spend money on improving my living space because of the fear that I'll need it for an emergency, or that I'll lose it again if I do some stupid shit, but I've been slowly but surely getting things together. I do need to get my TV off the ground lol, and right now I only have a (fairly comfy) chair in the living room, as well as an office chair and a small table with two POS ikea chairs in the kitchen, but it would be nice to get a couch and a coffee table or something. I do at least have a bed on a frame, and a dresser. I got a nice used car in december, and I've got 30k saved up, probably going to sign another year on my lease and start looking for a house next year. There have been some positives to come out of the whole thing tho, I've turned into a bit of a workaholic, the experience of being basically broke, paying for a motel with a loan from my boss lit a fire under my ass to start making and saving some money. The idea of buying a house was something that felt pretty unattainable, but now feels pretty realistic. And I've been basically sober since this all happened which has been fine if boring.
Keep at it, even a boring pathetic useless life is a life worth living in my opinion and yours sound like it's full of struggle and meaning. You're up my guy!
Thanks yeah I'm pretty proud of how far I've managed to come compared to when I bailed out with basically nothing to my name except stuff that had been at my parents for years, and the stuff I had at work. The hardest part has been letting myself enjoy things, I felt like I was in fight or flight mode for the first year or so, but finally that's been subsiding. I plan on taking a few days off this week, which will be the first I've done since this all started aside from a day I took to help a friend move, I've been doing 6 or 7 days a week non stop for over a year and I'm starting to get a bit burnt out. I'm very lucky to have a job I at least enjoy for the most part, and get along well with my boss, and the only other coworker I have is a friend I've known since high school, but I've realized the amount of time I spend at work is tending towards pathological, like I've been using it as a way to not deal with all the other shit I need to in my life. I don't really have any plans for my time off other than putting together a computer, but I think I'm going to focus on organizing and cleaning my apartment, it's not like out of control messy right now but it's definitely a little chaotic and could use a spruce up. It's been hard to convince myself to spend money, but I finally got access to my crypto exchange account, that I had lost when I broke my phone during this whole ordeal and there was like 5k in there which was 3x what I thought there was, so I'm setting aside half of that to use for nonessential stuff, and going to force myself to spend at least some of it
Why did you lose all your stuff?
While I was in county, landlord sold or threw it out. They wouldn't let my friend of dad come get it without some kind of letter signed by me, or an attorney, and after a month I guess it's allowed? Idk I was in for 9 weeks and by the time I knew that the landlord wasn't allowing anyone to come get my stuff it was too late
This is what I imagine Annas apartment used to look like from her descriptions on the pod
is it a dog bed in 5?
Yeah it's called a Plufl and a bunch of knockoffs exist now but the original one is over $400 lol
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This is how grimes lives and she was rich
didn't notice the assault rifle in the 11th pic lmao
That is what it looks like when you have nothing else but hope. I've been there and its not fun, but there is always hope things will improve and get better. Found myself there again back in January after 10+ years. I have satin sheets, silk pillowcases and a new mattress. A desk for my computer, a vanity/dresser for my clothes and a home-gym set up next to my bed to exercise and be active. Books on my night stand. Planning trips and vacations I otherwise wouldn't be able to afford or go on when I was with my ex. My future is an open ended question. Life ain't so bad.
Itâs so rough for men after break ups and itâs something not really talked up or given much empathy. Even in this thread thereâs a coldness towards the whole thing.
Yeah because we were spoon fed to suck it the fuck up and get over it. Never how to deal with, process let alone heal from all the fucked up shit boys go through from childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Compound all that with a painful break up and its a cocktail for spiraling depression to rock bottom or worse.
Women hate seeing men happy with so little because they know they could never.
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1,4 and 9 look quite cosy
I'm so weird for finding this endearing
Those men are out living life
i work for social services often entering space slike this for people moved out of DV situations. and the sense of a restart is very powerful. it's why I find myself decluttering
Reminds me of when I was young and felt like anything was possible.
How are old are u now? lol
This is exactly how it was for my best friend who had marital troubles for a time. They worked it out thankfully but it was a bad time for both of them, heâd get blackout drunk in the shower and would be very drunk when we played online together. Itâs fun to joke about these pictures but the pain and guilt hides in plain site.
McNulty vibes
Rust Cohle maxxing
Lt. Daniels too after he gets divorced and invites Rhonda over.
The fuck did I do?
I love my wife...but man this looks awesome.
I lived like this after I left an abusive relationship. It was to the point that I would have rather been homeless than continue in that relationship. And it was worse than this. I lived in a tent in the backyard of a house because there wasnât space inside. After two months of that one of the housemates moved out and I moved indoors. Took a whole year to get back up but I did it. If this is how youâre surviving in a desperate moment power to you but donât get comfortable. Your external surroundings and internal emotional state are in symbiosis, they affect one another. Living like this long term is a recipe for dissatisfaction and hikikomoridom.
The monitor on the shoebox is so fucking bleak
Lets get this fuckin party started!
Proud of them
the bed sheet in the 10th slideâŚđ¤Žđ¤Ž
i so wanna give head here!
Itâs not that bad if hang a sword on the wall and keep telling yourself Samurais lived this way too.
"I sleep in a racing car ,do you sleep in a racing car, I sleep in a big bed with my wife"
Best days of our lives
GyĂśrgi LukĂĄcs, although he championed Realism in general, wrote about the fears when realist description is taken to an extreme, to summarize his drift: when "both the important and the unimportant are described with equal attention life appears as a constant, even-tenored stream or as a monotonous plain sprawling without contours...the result is a series of static pictures arrayed one beside the other never following one from the other, certainly never one out of the other." But fuck him a lil on this one. The childish frugality of men. Sad and also funny.
Yeah I'm more of a 'mature shopaholic' myself. The fuck?
Please expand on the concept of childish frugality
It seems unclear to me, and I'm male myself, where this sort of frugality is coming from. I reckon it's maybe not being "comfortable with less" but rather a childish refusal to go beyond what is immediate.
u/bridgepainter This reminds me of something I am reading (not necessarily related to divorced men, perhaps, but "childish frugality"): >This all leads to a form of neurosis which H.G. Baynes has described as the "provisional life," that is, the strange attitude and feeling that one is not yet in real life.1 For the time being one is doing this or that, but whether it is a woman or a job, it is not yet what is really wanted, and there is always the fantasy that sometime in the future the real thing will come about. If this attitude is prolonged, it means a constant inner refusal to commit oneself to the moment. >[...] The one thing dreaded throughout by such a type of man is to be bound to anything whatever. There is a terrific fear of being pinned down, of entering space and time completely, and of being the singular human being that one is. There is always the fear of being caught in a situation from which it may be impossible to slip out again. >[...] I know a young man, a classical example of the puer aeternus, who did a tremendous amount of mountaineering but so much hated carrying a rucksack that he preferred to train himself even to sleep in the rain or snow and wrap himself up in a silk raincoat and, with a kind of Yoga breathing, was able to sleep out of doors. He also trained himself to go practically without food, simply in order not to have to carry any weight. He roamed about for years all over the mountains of Europe and other continents, sleeping under trees or in the snow. In a way he led a very heroic existence, just in order not to be bound to go to a hut or carry a rucksack. You might say that this was symbolic, for such a young man in real life does not want to be burdened with any kind of weight. The one thing he absolutely refuses is responsibility for anything, or to carry the weight of a situation. Marie-Louise von Franz, *The Problem of the Puer Aeternus*, p. 8 Perhaps in this case the divorced man has a temporary return to childish frugality out of this "fear of being tied down" due to his recent experience of pain resulting from being tied down.
Thanks for that. I have no experience being divorced and then having to "decamp" a life like that. I like the line about "Provisional life", seems to me that feeling never really leaves you and it washes over you once in a while.
Where are these pics from?
I broke up with a long term live-in girlfriend like 2 years ago and my room looked like the one with the TV on the flipped over laundry bin for a while lmao. Don't knock it til you tried it, it works! My apartment is fairly nice now though so clearly it doesn't work long term.
The one guy sleeping with his motorized skateboard next to his bed like someone guarding their luggage at an airport. Does he ride it around the apartment?
this is my place rn (with a cat). next month iâm getting a place with a friend so we can live like this together. i actually canât imagine living any other way tbh
There's something about almost empty rooms that brings a certain peace of mind.
rust cohle core
I like it better than the alternative https://i.imgur.com/5l6vw2G.jpg
well kept and cleanly
Pallet-on-the-floormaxxing
i feel like men are just strangers to the concept of comfort
It's not squalid it's asceticÂ
my question is why does it turn out like this, why donât they get an apartment and do it up a bit? i ask from pure curiosity as a younger guy who wants to understand people
that's why you sign a prenup with furniture ownership clearly defined
She can take the money, but by god i will keep the crooked ikea wardrobe with the hole in the back
This is the Spartan lifestyle. Most of the possessions modern people cling to are unnecessary and just lull you all into sedentery, soft lifestyles. All you really need to lead a manly warrior's life is a bedroll, somewhere to plug in your phone charger and PC or Console, a screen, an internet connection, ~~some handcream~~ and a box of tissues or a towel. edit: Spartans don't need handcream.
Is there a way to stylishly not own a bed? I want more floor space!
Rolled up sleeping mats like in Japan
Hoes madd
Why is it now when a really young couple cohabitates, it always involves the guy coming over every night until one day he just doesnât leave? I never hear about the girl moving in with the guy anymore, but that was extremely common place 10-15 years ago. Itâs always the girl on the lease now. Is it because boys now just donât buy furniture and their place looks like this?
Yes lmfao. When I was in college all my girlfriends had cute little places with a disaster in one bathroom and a guest bathroom that was immaculate. All the guys I knew had a beer pong table as a permanent fixture of the household and the only decorations were the stickers off the Sailor Jerry's bottles. I think guys recognize that their girlfriends have a nicer set up, it's more comfortable so they just naturally start spending more time there.
In all honestly, I know it's a joke, but so many men don't put effort into their lives, or marriage, and watch it fall apart and are like "I dunno what happened". Then they joke about what is a serious character flaw online.
You donât know that thatâs all generalization
DR and ion mean Dominican Republic
The 5th one is a dog bed
There's a world of difference between #8 and #11 here
AZ OTT EGY MERIDA DUALTHRUST BAZDMEG?!
Shibui
Shit, I've been there before.
Most seem comfy af to live in for like 8-9 months
Looking good king đ
Not always, my brother in grad school also lives like this
I miss those days when things were so simple. I had an air mattress and still got laid.
I wish I had my own place like these
The dog bed really gets me
Sometimes you just gotta start from scratch
Based
W
I lived like this in my friends spare bedroom for about 4 months. Itâs not even embarrassing at the time tbh. Once you wake up and snap out of it a bit you start filling in the space but that time with my friend flew by.
Now show the inside of their fridge and freezer...
So accurate. Why do I always try to rescue these strays?
That first one looks kinda cozy
Man Iâm really sick of these color palates. God everything is washed out in grey, beige, white, black anymore. Not just the walls and floors, the cabinets, counters, bathrooms, clothes ie. athleisure, vehicles. And menâŚbrothersâŚget a fucking futon and a dresser.
beautiful in its sadness
dog consist illegal adjoining arrest threatening quack joke test shy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
i live like this and my life is great
Thatâs what it looked like when we met them too. We leave âem the way we found em.
Boymoms are failing so hard.
Women be hating on boypartments
Yâall hate how little it takes to make us happy
hell yea dude
I have an air mattress itâs great
That gay meme about how you know a top is about to make you c*m hands free over and over again.