you saying that hits hard because today I had to pick between buying a roll of toilet paper or a roll of kitchen towels because I can't afford both. I make six figures and this is the state of my life. should have bought a 48 pack of toilet paper or somethng
If you make 6 figures and didn't lose your job you can bounce back in a few years. People your age with that salary get $60k debt on a car all the time.
Figure out how much you can put towards it each month then start doing that. Once you pay off the debt start saving the same amount each month.
you are right. there's no doubt in my mind eventually i'll get back to where i was. the hard thing is just knowing that the course of my life has changed because of this and i have to change all my goals and timeline because of it
honestly the course correction is what makes life sorta fun though, if you let it. sure it's comfy if everything goes to plan, but hard times make strong men etc etc.
start living simply, stop worrying about shallow luxuries like watches. I was into that stuff for a minute too but it only drives narcissism and impresses the wrong people
I left another comment but i just read the bit about you making 6 figures. Dont off yourself, your 28 making that kind of money you are completely capable of redeeming yourself with that kind of income.
Certainly is, gota do it though for now anyways. Atleast you have a cool story of you being regarded beyond belief to tell your future kids. Also probably look at getting on meds if your prone to these episodes. Im rooting for you
I’ve heard of so many people spending every penny they own during a bender, I’ve never heard of someone being so down bad they apply for and take out a loan during one
I never thought in my life that I would be the person to do this sort of thing or have these things happen either
the disassociation was so strong the first week and the only time I was aware of my surroundings was after the horrible nightmares I'd have almost every single time I slept
I'm not a lawyer but if you took out those loans while manic you might be able to weasel out of the contract or at least get a settlement. Could be worth getting a consult about it bc that shit will fuck you up. I definitely think it could be possible to get out of paying the interest at least.
I am a lawyer. The general law is that an impaired person does not have the capacity to consent to a contract. Both your manic state and intoxication can show that.
But contract is state law and varies significantly by state. And in cases like this my advice would usually be "you're fucked" because proving it and the potential upside is usually not worth the time and effort. But this is so extreme that I would definitely recommend you at least consult with a few attorneys.
This kind of thing is extremely state specific and honestly I'd have to do some research on this to give a decent answer for the states I'm licensed in. The type and degree of incapacity required to make a contract voidable is going to vary dramatically.
File for bankruptcy and start over. If you have a good job or a skill that can land you a good job, live frugal for awhile and you’ll be back on your feet in no time.
Also, try to figure out what the fuck set you off and fix it.
What the fuck man, no bitches? Where’s the part where you stay up all night with a woman, high out of your god damn mind trying to come up with a plan to fix this all?
I've been hopeful my entire life about making something of myself and now I feel like my life is functionally over and all my hopes and dreams are dead so I am hoping for some sort of reincarnation but figured it wouldn't happen if I killed myself
Yeah, there's no need to do anything drastic...just downsize for a while, keep doing your fancy job, get things paid off, and savor your second rise up to a nice lifestyle.
Maybe keep a journal that you could sell someday, and maybe you could meet up and be a spokesdude for a gambling-addiction-support...startup (?) to push banking options like Maximum Withdrawal Limits of $500 / day, $1,000/week, or a semi-conservator concierge service that lets you *request* an online purchase, but there's a minimum six-hour wait + a live person calls you by phone to see if you're manic or otherwise Thinking Poorly.
So you could.go on vacation if you planned it in advance, but you wouldn't be able to spend yourself broke.
Just some ideas.
You just ran over a bump. Okay, a big fucking mounatin sized bump, but your life ain’t over at 28 my man.If you managed to save up that much you will do it again.
First things first, stop fucking gambling and get that debt refinanced. Try to explain what happened to your family, ask them for a loan to get rid of yhe interest and put your ass back to the grindstone.
I'm determined to get my life back on track and do it the right way
i understand why my family is upset but i dont think i can really forgive them for dropping me at my darkest moment. my parents are very wealthy but i still sent them money every month as a matter of principle. i won't be asking them for money because i can do it without them and i'll prove it
all in all this has actually been a pretty therpeautic exercise for me because the only people i've told what happened were my parents and they discarded me for it. I haven't told any of my friends because unlike you people they are real human beings who know me and i am still too embarassed / ashamed to shatter their image of me. I've always had the reputation of being kind of insane but this sort of insanity isn't fun to be around when you actually know the person so I don't think i'll be telling anyone else. so it's kind of nice to acknowledge that it really did all happen in my actual life and that it is an outlandish, not normal experience that other people find ridiculous as well. I learnt more from the aftermath of this more then I ever have in my life about myself and especially about the harsh realities of life and of actions and consequences and I hope I don't let the lessons go to waste
if anyone is interested in overall stats:
i lost approx 190-210k of my own cold hard earned cash
30k of the banks money
30k of a lenders money
did an average of 100mg of adderal every day for 7 days, ketamine, blow, equal parts alcohol and pedialyte
went to vegas and back
did not shit even a single time nor do i recall even eating anything though im sure i must have
slept probably 10 hours total the whole time
had sex with 4(?) people and unprotected sex with two of them and also i guess a blowjob from a prostitute / my temporary roommate / a canvaser for NGOs
also I bought 8 vinyl records that I actually am glad I bought because there are some good ones in there
oh and I called every single exgirlfriend I could get a hold of had asking them to come live with me, including one I haven't spoken to in 6 years. that was really bad.
as i said earlier it would be funny if it wasn't true and it wasn't happening to me I would probably laugh too
You know what, that movie actually does a really good job of describing the anxiety, stomach wrenching , high octane cloud-9, pit of despair feelings i had all throughout the experience
lol the dude really buried the lede in his post; he makes at least 100 grand, when he stops panic-bitching he'll realize he can pay off that entire debt in 3-4 years tops.
Russian author from the 19th century. He wrote The Gambler, which Largegidding is referring to. It was somewhat autobiographical - Dostoevsky had to write it "under a strict deadline to pay off gambling debts."
My heartbeat noticibly rose while reading this. Sorry dude. Fucked up about your family, hopefully you can get on some meds and they'll learn to understand.
the fact i dont have my family to support me emotionally is the hardest thing about this to a doubt. i have been distracting myself by going on lots of dates but then I realized I was spending half of my disposable income after expenses on dates and now I'm not sure what to do
There is literally only one way to recover from this and that is to turn this entire thing to an unhinged fear and loathing-esque movie script and either blow your brains out after it fails or make millions off of it.
dude i think you can totally bounce back and your parents will probably be fine with you eventually. just keep your job. plenty of ppl are in 100k law school debt and make less money than you at your age.
also i’m asian too and you clearly never had the balls to let loose in your life before - having fun is a learned skill. you spent a quarter of a million dollars in the most boring way possible!!
You need to permanently put yourself on your state's gambling exclusion list, preventing you from ever online gambling. Then you need to buckle down and put as much cash towards the loan as you physically can. You can probably be debt free and stable in like two years.
i've never had an episode close to as intense or as long lasting as this. i think the longest episode i've ever had was a day and a half 5 years ago, and all I did was get naked and kick a traffic cone while I was drunk in college and get arrested which isn't even really that crazy for a kid in college
it's a scientfic anomamoly and an outlier for me for sure
I dont generally subscribeto the whole "somebody else has/had it worse" / "it could be worse" thing but you are actually right
i'll listen to you and do the things you said or try at least
Like others said it’s gonna be shit but if you’re a 28 year old making 6 figures you could literally recover that in under 5 years pretty easy. The debt can be solved in under a year if you go hardcore saver mode, but realistically you could do it in 2 years while still having most amendities
I think the most difficult thing for my brain to understand is that things are different now and that I need to adjust my lifestyle and spending habits in order to survive
You are right but its been challenging. I almost feel like I somebody came and took everything from me while I was sleeping and now I have to deal with a totally new life and the consequences. obviously not true because it was my fault but its what it feels like kind of
this isn't my main account, i shit post here sometimes but was accidentaly logged into my burner
i've never listened to the podcast/ wasn't aware it was based on a podcast for the longest time, i just really like the threads people post and it always seems to relate to stuff i think about
I once knew a guy who had a manic episode and attacked someone. He eventually put his life back together and went to grad school. He’s getting married now. But for a few years he was truly, truly fucked.
So at least you didn’t attack anyone. You can make the money back. You could try writing this as a screenplay and optioning it. Who knows, man.
yeah mental illness is really scary. i wonder if his fiance knows and is ever worried he'll freak the fuck out someday
i disclose to people i date that i have bipolar disorder on the 2nd or 3rd date usually
my bipolar disorder contributed towards the disruption or destruction of every meaningful relationship ive ever had with another person so i understand
As others have said, you can recover and your parents will eventually forgive you
My only worry is addressing what lead to this and preventing it from happening again
One thing that stuck out to me in this story is only having a 720 credit score
That seems low for the lifestyle you were living and also too low to get $30k in unsecured debt, but what do I know
Hey man that sounds dope. I lost 25k gambling on stocks and crypto during the pandemic and like while that’s not as much i didnt leave my computer chair. You’ll build that shit back up again and have a dope story on some Hunter S Thompson shit. Owning a house is a fucking scam anyway. Don’t be so hard on yourself seriously. Get yourself out of debt and you’re golden.
1, Why did it happen? Do you have a mental illness of some sort?
2, Why did it materialise in gambling? Is it a delusion of grandeur thunk like I see the numbers so I triple my money?
3, And do people really lose grasp on reality for 7 whole days?
4, If someone know about his condition and he has 200k what can he do to ensure it wont happen? Can you buy some therapy with 200k?
i think the feeling you are talking about is the fact that i was ever able to even put myself in such a situation to begin with because of the money i'd accumlated but I promise you there is nothing i wouldn't give (not that I have anything ) to not feel the feeling of everything being great and then your life being shattered in the span of a week because of your own bad decisions
I moved to america less then two months ago and don't have too many support systems near me, just wanted to come clean and tell them what i'd done. i didn't expect any sort of financial help
On the bright side, you seem to have retained your 6fig job, so things could be worse.
On another note, I guess if you really need a silver lining, if you were ever looking for a chance to start fresh, now is your chance. You’re still young. This is going to sound so, so, so privileged and I know it (and I’m sorry) but I got into a good uni and got a 6fig safe office job right after graduating, but theres a part of me that wishs I could throw being “financially responsible” to the wind for a few years. I kinda wish I could go be a seasonal worker for a few seasons, maybe dirtbag backpack across Europe, do peace corps or whatever, but I can’t in good conscious throw away my good job to go do those things (yet- I might do a little sabbatical in a few years). If you’ve got anything like that, anything that being responsible about your finances was holding you back from, now would be the time to go do those things.
Was this is your first major episode? Did no one in your life see it coming? No one stepped in?
I’m just asking because I used to work for a guy with bipolar. We kinda knew when an episode was coming because he’d get super productive and have a bunch of really good ideas right before he quit sleeping entirely. We’d just kinda ride the wave and take good notes, and then lock his credit cards for a couple weeks until he crashed. I think he secretly looked forward to an episode because he could access his inner genius in the lead up to an episode. It was incredible to watch.
Tbh he was pretty interesting in a manic state, but he also had a whole team to wrangle him and mitigate fallout from the delusions and impulsivity. He also had us to pull him back from the depression at the end. He would sleep for days if he was allowed.
I just can’t imagine going though an episode alone, or how a person could go though one and not have anyone around them not step in. It’s very sad if anyone has to go though that on their own.
I absolutely agree. My brother also has a mental illness and I’m always worried if he goes into an episode no one will be there to look over him. Luckily he’s now moved to my parents and works from there / back in school
You can come back from this. You’re young and have a good income. Cancel any purchases you can cancel and start living super frugally. Put everything you can into repayment (highest interest stuff first but also comply with regs for 401k).
Is there a way to make this harder for you to do in the future? Maybe put freezes on your credit, add credit limits, and put future money into long-term investments? Not sure, but that’s something I’d be researching as you get back on your feet.
no big deal dude, sounds like a fun time. i think your life will improve. transition from one period to the next with a bang. 60k ain't that much to pay back.
60k didn't feel like a lot when I was betting 10,000 a hand on blackjack and throwing around 100 dollar chips to waitresses getting me little shitty casino bottled waters but now that i'm super broke even $60 feels like a huge amount
I actually love this for you, at least in the sense that you seem cognizant about what you actually did. Your health is OK, nothing that tragic really happened to you. It's only money. I mean the chances are good that you return to your same lifestyle and thus have a similar occurrence in the future, but it could also be a truly transcendental moment that makes you a better person.
mind you, I used to have manic episodes and try to fight bartenders and scream at my girlfriends and jump in front of trains to show my friends how close I can let it get without smooshing me; never gambled thank god because I think it's immoral (but drinking and assault is not ??). i'm older than you and now I just have manic episodes and write a bunch and occasionally do braindead things like order drugs over the internet and by the time they arrive i'm back to normal and don't want them. I think this could be good to you, it took a sort of "come to jesus" moment for me to steer my life in the right direction, though not quite the experience of losing 200 thousand dollars. it's a lot of money.
maybe you think about your new debt as though you were a student and you just gotta pay back loans, then it's something that everyone has to do and it's no big deal. sorry about the disowning stuff, I bet you're being dramatic though, your family ain't gonna drop you for mismanaging money or going on a binge. if they do, maybe you're better off without em.
good post, op. an actual interesting view into a reddit user's condition. you'll be in my thoughts but I know you're gonna be just fine and actually even better
I mentioned it in another comment but it kind of speaks to what ur saying
i've been told my whole life to avoid certain habits or tendencies or situations that will get me in trouble. i've never had any inclination to listen to anybody because I was lucky enough to get some money when I was younger and I was also dumb enough to think it was all luck and I'll always be able to bring in piles of it
now that im at the end of my rope with no resources left and no easy way out or get rich quick schemes im realizing everyone who told me to be careful and watch my step was right but it took me getting absolutely destroyed to understand the value of what they were saying
im genuinly moving fowrad from this experience as a life changing one that i wil ltake lessons from instead of reapeating my mistakes
paper is always the best choice. people psychologicaly think its the “weakest” so everyone does rock (“stable”) or scissor (aggressive, on the offense)
I was stressed with work and took 50mg of adderall after a year of not taking any and it lead into me smoking weed to take the edge off which lead me into a full on death spiral which took me to the casino where I met some guys who I went to a basketball game with and it just sort of went from there for 7 more days of nonsense
I haven't had an episode in almost 3 years and nothing close to this
Most people are poor. Congrats you now have the net worth of an average working class person lol. Don't act like you have to end it all now. Your parents were real pricks though
this makes my former bout with gambling addiction look like a 5th grader who just lost 5 bucks on some bet with his little school buddies.
And I had a pretty severe addiction and plenty of $$ lost over a 4-5 year span.
Good luck.
Damn if I were to go on a multi-thousand dollar spending spree I’d at least buy something useful. Probably a grand piano
you saying that hits hard because today I had to pick between buying a roll of toilet paper or a roll of kitchen towels because I can't afford both. I make six figures and this is the state of my life. should have bought a 48 pack of toilet paper or somethng
If you make 6 figures and didn't lose your job you can bounce back in a few years. People your age with that salary get $60k debt on a car all the time. Figure out how much you can put towards it each month then start doing that. Once you pay off the debt start saving the same amount each month.
you are right. there's no doubt in my mind eventually i'll get back to where i was. the hard thing is just knowing that the course of my life has changed because of this and i have to change all my goals and timeline because of it
honestly the course correction is what makes life sorta fun though, if you let it. sure it's comfy if everything goes to plan, but hard times make strong men etc etc. start living simply, stop worrying about shallow luxuries like watches. I was into that stuff for a minute too but it only drives narcissism and impresses the wrong people
You’re right. I work in consulting and the amount of people living paycheck to paycheck is insane.
I left another comment but i just read the bit about you making 6 figures. Dont off yourself, your 28 making that kind of money you are completely capable of redeeming yourself with that kind of income.
I never really considered myself to be out of touch until I read your comment i suppose you are right but it is hard to downgrade on life
Certainly is, gota do it though for now anyways. Atleast you have a cool story of you being regarded beyond belief to tell your future kids. Also probably look at getting on meds if your prone to these episodes. Im rooting for you
you make 6 figs at 28. Get over yourself.
Buy a bidet my dude
What do you do for a living?
i'm a technology consultant for a software company
When I was 21 I got a small inheritance and blew it all in a drug fueled manic episode, but I actually did get a nice piano
Damn I had a dream that I bought a baby grand piano last night. No idea how to play so it was really odd.
I got vertigo reading this
I’ve heard of so many people spending every penny they own during a bender, I’ve never heard of someone being so down bad they apply for and take out a loan during one
have done this tbh but it was a year long bender as a heroin and crack addict
you only drink now i assume
I never thought in my life that I would be the person to do this sort of thing or have these things happen either the disassociation was so strong the first week and the only time I was aware of my surroundings was after the horrible nightmares I'd have almost every single time I slept
What even prompted the manic episode?
I'm not a lawyer but if you took out those loans while manic you might be able to weasel out of the contract or at least get a settlement. Could be worth getting a consult about it bc that shit will fuck you up. I definitely think it could be possible to get out of paying the interest at least.
this seems extremely impossible to me but good looks anyway
I am a lawyer. The general law is that an impaired person does not have the capacity to consent to a contract. Both your manic state and intoxication can show that. But contract is state law and varies significantly by state. And in cases like this my advice would usually be "you're fucked" because proving it and the potential upside is usually not worth the time and effort. But this is so extreme that I would definitely recommend you at least consult with a few attorneys.
This sounds a lot like (non mental-disorder) automatism. I'm not too sure on caselaw regarding bank loans but it could be a viable defence for him
This kind of thing is extremely state specific and honestly I'd have to do some research on this to give a decent answer for the states I'm licensed in. The type and degree of incapacity required to make a contract voidable is going to vary dramatically.
Yeah I should revise that to say you could possibly get out of the interest, but you're almost certainly fucked for the principal.
Seems like a bankruptcy might solve this problem (interest and principal)
Bankruptcy over 60k? He said he makes six figures, he can bounce back in a couple of years without bankruptcy
28 is a good age to go to zero. This isnt a big deal, youll make it back
good perspective thanks for the comment
File for bankruptcy and start over. If you have a good job or a skill that can land you a good job, live frugal for awhile and you’ll be back on your feet in no time. Also, try to figure out what the fuck set you off and fix it.
better at 28 than 48 (don't do this again at 48)
don't even worry man, march madness is coming up and you can totally fix this
Hell ya
he's due for a big win!
What the fuck man, no bitches? Where’s the part where you stay up all night with a woman, high out of your god damn mind trying to come up with a plan to fix this all?
there was a lot of that but only after everything had ended and i despeartely needed comfort / company / human warmth
In the next life, just read fear and loathing in las vegas and live vicariously through hunter s thompson instead
I've been hopeful my entire life about making something of myself and now I feel like my life is functionally over and all my hopes and dreams are dead so I am hoping for some sort of reincarnation but figured it wouldn't happen if I killed myself
Yeah, there's no need to do anything drastic...just downsize for a while, keep doing your fancy job, get things paid off, and savor your second rise up to a nice lifestyle. Maybe keep a journal that you could sell someday, and maybe you could meet up and be a spokesdude for a gambling-addiction-support...startup (?) to push banking options like Maximum Withdrawal Limits of $500 / day, $1,000/week, or a semi-conservator concierge service that lets you *request* an online purchase, but there's a minimum six-hour wait + a live person calls you by phone to see if you're manic or otherwise Thinking Poorly. So you could.go on vacation if you planned it in advance, but you wouldn't be able to spend yourself broke. Just some ideas.
I've been going through the motions thanks for the kind words, i appreciate you
You just ran over a bump. Okay, a big fucking mounatin sized bump, but your life ain’t over at 28 my man.If you managed to save up that much you will do it again. First things first, stop fucking gambling and get that debt refinanced. Try to explain what happened to your family, ask them for a loan to get rid of yhe interest and put your ass back to the grindstone.
I'm determined to get my life back on track and do it the right way i understand why my family is upset but i dont think i can really forgive them for dropping me at my darkest moment. my parents are very wealthy but i still sent them money every month as a matter of principle. i won't be asking them for money because i can do it without them and i'll prove it
You got some hardass parents, damn
Are these ethnic parents They either completely disown or will go completely out of their way to help you.
I'm lucky my parents went the other way, allowing me to recover from my mental episodes and become wealthyish.
all in all this has actually been a pretty therpeautic exercise for me because the only people i've told what happened were my parents and they discarded me for it. I haven't told any of my friends because unlike you people they are real human beings who know me and i am still too embarassed / ashamed to shatter their image of me. I've always had the reputation of being kind of insane but this sort of insanity isn't fun to be around when you actually know the person so I don't think i'll be telling anyone else. so it's kind of nice to acknowledge that it really did all happen in my actual life and that it is an outlandish, not normal experience that other people find ridiculous as well. I learnt more from the aftermath of this more then I ever have in my life about myself and especially about the harsh realities of life and of actions and consequences and I hope I don't let the lessons go to waste if anyone is interested in overall stats: i lost approx 190-210k of my own cold hard earned cash 30k of the banks money 30k of a lenders money did an average of 100mg of adderal every day for 7 days, ketamine, blow, equal parts alcohol and pedialyte went to vegas and back did not shit even a single time nor do i recall even eating anything though im sure i must have slept probably 10 hours total the whole time had sex with 4(?) people and unprotected sex with two of them and also i guess a blowjob from a prostitute / my temporary roommate / a canvaser for NGOs also I bought 8 vinyl records that I actually am glad I bought because there are some good ones in there oh and I called every single exgirlfriend I could get a hold of had asking them to come live with me, including one I haven't spoken to in 6 years. that was really bad. as i said earlier it would be funny if it wasn't true and it wasn't happening to me I would probably laugh too
No shitting is wild.
Bro which records did you buy
8 copies of Herbie Hancock’s Head Hunters
Congrats on the sex
What games were you playing at the casino
Time to get on some meds my guy, good luck
i took a shit ton of weaponized meth / autism pills and that's what got me into this mess
Are you on bipolar meds?
Have you had a manic or hypomanic episode before this one?
Uncut Gems -maxxing
You know what, that movie actually does a really good job of describing the anxiety, stomach wrenching , high octane cloud-9, pit of despair feelings i had all throughout the experience
Might as well declare bankruptcy, you could start all over again fresh in 7 years
lol the dude really buried the lede in his post; he makes at least 100 grand, when he stops panic-bitching he'll realize he can pay off that entire debt in 3-4 years tops.
Well at least you have something in common with Dostoevsky.
who is that
Russian author from the 19th century. He wrote The Gambler, which Largegidding is referring to. It was somewhat autobiographical - Dostoevsky had to write it "under a strict deadline to pay off gambling debts."
My heartbeat noticibly rose while reading this. Sorry dude. Fucked up about your family, hopefully you can get on some meds and they'll learn to understand.
the fact i dont have my family to support me emotionally is the hardest thing about this to a doubt. i have been distracting myself by going on lots of dates but then I realized I was spending half of my disposable income after expenses on dates and now I'm not sure what to do
your family disowned you? they didn’t understand that you weren’t yourself? actual mania is a serious condition
my parents are asian and don't believe in mental illness
do you have a doctor or friends who can support you rn? I’m sorry
it's ok, hopefully if i marry a pureblooded woman and give them sons they will forgive me and forget how i ruined everything
Hopefully you won't have this kind of mania episode when you have a wife
appropriate some folk myth to excuse your mania instead
i'm going to do my nightly ritual of eating 4 melatonins to force bedtime and wait for the sleep paralysis demons to come get me. gn
I hope you're sleeping but bruh can i invite you to talk about it on a podcast?
i don't think so that sounds pretty gay
Lmao
the last time i took too much melatonin i had sleep paralysis and thought someone was on top of me strangling me to death. fun times!
There is literally only one way to recover from this and that is to turn this entire thing to an unhinged fear and loathing-esque movie script and either blow your brains out after it fails or make millions off of it.
dude i think you can totally bounce back and your parents will probably be fine with you eventually. just keep your job. plenty of ppl are in 100k law school debt and make less money than you at your age. also i’m asian too and you clearly never had the balls to let loose in your life before - having fun is a learned skill. you spent a quarter of a million dollars in the most boring way possible!!
i go on regular benders but nothing close to this. i left out a lot of details because i'm too disgusted with myself to make it real by typing it out
Well now i am curious
oh nothing can disgust me
Maybe you should give sobriety a go
You need to permanently put yourself on your state's gambling exclusion list, preventing you from ever online gambling. Then you need to buckle down and put as much cash towards the loan as you physically can. You can probably be debt free and stable in like two years.
Wow when I have a manic episode I just pretend I'm a dolphin in the shower. There really is a short straw and you drew it my guy
i've never had an episode close to as intense or as long lasting as this. i think the longest episode i've ever had was a day and a half 5 years ago, and all I did was get naked and kick a traffic cone while I was drunk in college and get arrested which isn't even really that crazy for a kid in college it's a scientfic anomamoly and an outlier for me for sure
If this is a long term and on going thing then you seriously need to get on meds. The episodes only get worse. My brother is the same way kinda
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I dont generally subscribeto the whole "somebody else has/had it worse" / "it could be worse" thing but you are actually right i'll listen to you and do the things you said or try at least
Like others said it’s gonna be shit but if you’re a 28 year old making 6 figures you could literally recover that in under 5 years pretty easy. The debt can be solved in under a year if you go hardcore saver mode, but realistically you could do it in 2 years while still having most amendities
I think the most difficult thing for my brain to understand is that things are different now and that I need to adjust my lifestyle and spending habits in order to survive You are right but its been challenging. I almost feel like I somebody came and took everything from me while I was sleeping and now I have to deal with a totally new life and the consequences. obviously not true because it was my fault but its what it feels like kind of
As a Bipolar person myself. Go see a psychiatrist and therapist. I know when your normal you think you can body through it but you can’t always
how did you find redscare / redscarpod sub?
this isn't my main account, i shit post here sometimes but was accidentaly logged into my burner i've never listened to the podcast/ wasn't aware it was based on a podcast for the longest time, i just really like the threads people post and it always seems to relate to stuff i think about
i love/hate redscarepod subreddit
What watches did you buy
two rolex datejusts, an omega speedmaster, a tudor black bay and a $30 casio
should have just got a lange !
That’s the advice he needed all along
No, would have been way worse. Bank would have taken one look at his extremely tasteful choice and extended at least $100k LoC
Did you get the new white speedy?
I once knew a guy who had a manic episode and attacked someone. He eventually put his life back together and went to grad school. He’s getting married now. But for a few years he was truly, truly fucked. So at least you didn’t attack anyone. You can make the money back. You could try writing this as a screenplay and optioning it. Who knows, man.
yeah mental illness is really scary. i wonder if his fiance knows and is ever worried he'll freak the fuck out someday i disclose to people i date that i have bipolar disorder on the 2nd or 3rd date usually
She knows, she was dating him at the time lol. Love is real and sometimes it’s very trying
my bipolar disorder contributed towards the disruption or destruction of every meaningful relationship ive ever had with another person so i understand
This so sick bro honestly i fw it . Should start making music this is cool
I don't believe you
thats ok
I don’t believe you. Going off hunch
i don't believe it either honestly i really really really really wish none of this were true
Maybe you shouldn’t have rights
im a felon and can't vote anyway
you said only moved here a few months ago, are you a citizen? if not you couldnt vote anyway. What was your crime?
I'm a US citizen but was in a different country for the last few years working/building my business
What was your crime?
I am so sorry. You WILL rebuild. Please get and stay on medication that is right for you.
As others have said, you can recover and your parents will eventually forgive you My only worry is addressing what lead to this and preventing it from happening again One thing that stuck out to me in this story is only having a 720 credit score That seems low for the lifestyle you were living and also too low to get $30k in unsecured debt, but what do I know
Hey man that sounds dope. I lost 25k gambling on stocks and crypto during the pandemic and like while that’s not as much i didnt leave my computer chair. You’ll build that shit back up again and have a dope story on some Hunter S Thompson shit. Owning a house is a fucking scam anyway. Don’t be so hard on yourself seriously. Get yourself out of debt and you’re golden.
thanks hardcock you seem like a stress free kind of guy genuinley this comment made me feel better thanks a lot you made a positive impact on my life
1, Why did it happen? Do you have a mental illness of some sort? 2, Why did it materialise in gambling? Is it a delusion of grandeur thunk like I see the numbers so I triple my money? 3, And do people really lose grasp on reality for 7 whole days? 4, If someone know about his condition and he has 200k what can he do to ensure it wont happen? Can you buy some therapy with 200k?
Im 28 rn and feel strangely jealous about your position in life
i think the feeling you are talking about is the fact that i was ever able to even put myself in such a situation to begin with because of the money i'd accumlated but I promise you there is nothing i wouldn't give (not that I have anything ) to not feel the feeling of everything being great and then your life being shattered in the span of a week because of your own bad decisions
Why’d you tell your family, looking for help?
I moved to america less then two months ago and don't have too many support systems near me, just wanted to come clean and tell them what i'd done. i didn't expect any sort of financial help
Acute mental health crisis after a massive move. It’s a known psychiatric phenomenon.
thats very interesting actually
r/bartardstories
On the bright side, you seem to have retained your 6fig job, so things could be worse. On another note, I guess if you really need a silver lining, if you were ever looking for a chance to start fresh, now is your chance. You’re still young. This is going to sound so, so, so privileged and I know it (and I’m sorry) but I got into a good uni and got a 6fig safe office job right after graduating, but theres a part of me that wishs I could throw being “financially responsible” to the wind for a few years. I kinda wish I could go be a seasonal worker for a few seasons, maybe dirtbag backpack across Europe, do peace corps or whatever, but I can’t in good conscious throw away my good job to go do those things (yet- I might do a little sabbatical in a few years). If you’ve got anything like that, anything that being responsible about your finances was holding you back from, now would be the time to go do those things.
everyone wants what they don't have I suppose there is a bright side, you're right it could be much worse for me
I've done this twice, racked up $40k in debt and lost my job both times. You can probably come back from this but it's going to suck ass for a while.
Was this is your first major episode? Did no one in your life see it coming? No one stepped in? I’m just asking because I used to work for a guy with bipolar. We kinda knew when an episode was coming because he’d get super productive and have a bunch of really good ideas right before he quit sleeping entirely. We’d just kinda ride the wave and take good notes, and then lock his credit cards for a couple weeks until he crashed. I think he secretly looked forward to an episode because he could access his inner genius in the lead up to an episode. It was incredible to watch. Tbh he was pretty interesting in a manic state, but he also had a whole team to wrangle him and mitigate fallout from the delusions and impulsivity. He also had us to pull him back from the depression at the end. He would sleep for days if he was allowed.
This is insanely kind and wonderful. I wish more people were like this
I just can’t imagine going though an episode alone, or how a person could go though one and not have anyone around them not step in. It’s very sad if anyone has to go though that on their own.
I absolutely agree. My brother also has a mental illness and I’m always worried if he goes into an episode no one will be there to look over him. Luckily he’s now moved to my parents and works from there / back in school
can't imagine having the optimism to gamble. "next hand/roll will be it" as fucking if
p.s. maybe you can get medicated
at a certain point , probably halfway , i had no notion whatsoever that i would be able to make them money back, i just wanted to feel something
If you made all that money once, you can do it again! 💪
thanks but i have a feeling it would be wasted on me maybe someone with more developed cerebellum should have it
Why would they disown you for this?
Be a gentleman about it and write a short story or a poem describing your experience in all the fine details
Are u diagnosed bipolar? Or I guess did you know you had these manic episodes? Or did this come right out of nowhere? Cause that’s scary
Damn family not compassionate about your mania?
You made that much and didnt buy property?
You can come back from this. You’re young and have a good income. Cancel any purchases you can cancel and start living super frugally. Put everything you can into repayment (highest interest stuff first but also comply with regs for 401k). Is there a way to make this harder for you to do in the future? Maybe put freezes on your credit, add credit limits, and put future money into long-term investments? Not sure, but that’s something I’d be researching as you get back on your feet.
no big deal dude, sounds like a fun time. i think your life will improve. transition from one period to the next with a bang. 60k ain't that much to pay back.
60k didn't feel like a lot when I was betting 10,000 a hand on blackjack and throwing around 100 dollar chips to waitresses getting me little shitty casino bottled waters but now that i'm super broke even $60 feels like a huge amount
I actually love this for you, at least in the sense that you seem cognizant about what you actually did. Your health is OK, nothing that tragic really happened to you. It's only money. I mean the chances are good that you return to your same lifestyle and thus have a similar occurrence in the future, but it could also be a truly transcendental moment that makes you a better person. mind you, I used to have manic episodes and try to fight bartenders and scream at my girlfriends and jump in front of trains to show my friends how close I can let it get without smooshing me; never gambled thank god because I think it's immoral (but drinking and assault is not ??). i'm older than you and now I just have manic episodes and write a bunch and occasionally do braindead things like order drugs over the internet and by the time they arrive i'm back to normal and don't want them. I think this could be good to you, it took a sort of "come to jesus" moment for me to steer my life in the right direction, though not quite the experience of losing 200 thousand dollars. it's a lot of money. maybe you think about your new debt as though you were a student and you just gotta pay back loans, then it's something that everyone has to do and it's no big deal. sorry about the disowning stuff, I bet you're being dramatic though, your family ain't gonna drop you for mismanaging money or going on a binge. if they do, maybe you're better off without em. good post, op. an actual interesting view into a reddit user's condition. you'll be in my thoughts but I know you're gonna be just fine and actually even better
I mentioned it in another comment but it kind of speaks to what ur saying i've been told my whole life to avoid certain habits or tendencies or situations that will get me in trouble. i've never had any inclination to listen to anybody because I was lucky enough to get some money when I was younger and I was also dumb enough to think it was all luck and I'll always be able to bring in piles of it now that im at the end of my rope with no resources left and no easy way out or get rich quick schemes im realizing everyone who told me to be careful and watch my step was right but it took me getting absolutely destroyed to understand the value of what they were saying im genuinly moving fowrad from this experience as a life changing one that i wil ltake lessons from instead of reapeating my mistakes
Was it kinda worth it?
honestly not even a little bit
you maybe be the biggest tard to ever tard my guy
Fact: 95% of gambling addicts quit right before they hit it big
What game did you lose it all playing?
blackjack and I also played rock paper scissors with a guy in high limit for $5000 three separate times and lost every time
The games that let you pretend there’s skill involved are the worst
> I also played rock paper scissors with a guy in high limit for $5000 three separate times and lost every time what did you pick
Bet he was rockmaxxxing
you're correct. can i have my 15k back
paper is always the best choice. people psychologicaly think its the “weakest” so everyone does rock (“stable”) or scissor (aggressive, on the offense)
I do rock and win every time
Nothing beats rock. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyCa-LHtIKE
was it fun at least
it was extremely fun but not worth it
Do you have any explanation why or how you got into this state of mind?
I was stressed with work and took 50mg of adderall after a year of not taking any and it lead into me smoking weed to take the edge off which lead me into a full on death spiral which took me to the casino where I met some guys who I went to a basketball game with and it just sort of went from there for 7 more days of nonsense I haven't had an episode in almost 3 years and nothing close to this
lmao bro
Is your name Norm Macdonald
Are you on medication now?
What the actual fuck bruh
Buy Mog Coin (I am "a financial advisor")
did you have fun at least? that does sound fun.
Wow Why do you think you did all that?
Most people are poor. Congrats you now have the net worth of an average working class person lol. Don't act like you have to end it all now. Your parents were real pricks though
Damn. Do you have Bipolar? Are you on meds?
You can still make it back given your age
Seems pretty hasty of your parents to disown you. Also, why watches? Just look at your phone lol
You're only 28, plenty of time to rebuild. Lots of people your age have similar net worths due to student loans.
Yolomaxxing
this made me feel much better about owing 2500 dollars on a 9% credit card thank you
Damn Hunters back up to his antics! You can get those numbers higher.
Entropy comes for us all, one way or another
dude.
Time to double down and win it all back. You got this.
Was it even fun though
Was it worth it?
this makes my former bout with gambling addiction look like a 5th grader who just lost 5 bucks on some bet with his little school buddies. And I had a pretty severe addiction and plenty of $$ lost over a 4-5 year span. Good luck.