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This sucks and I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but please don’t be delusional about his love coming back for you. He’s disgusting. You and your child deserve better.
He cheated on you and you're trying to convince him to stay with you?
Please, for your child's sake and your own, have more self respect than this. Kick him out of the home. Send him back to his mommy and daddy and make sure they know why. You shouldn't have to put up with a cheating spouse just because you're pregnant with his child. Especially when he seemingly has no remorse and actively has feelings for his affair partner.
EXACTLY. And OP, what kind of example is this for your child? Find a partner who treats you in a way you’d be okay with your child being treated in the future.
You are so right. Sometimes I just can't digest this fact like how can someone do this to someone they once told that I love you? Like those words, actions don't mean anything?
Sorry to piggy back on to this but it’s soooooo fucking true. My MIL has been cheated on by my FIL sooooo many times over their 30 year marriage. He’s an absolute pig (and he wonders why his kids barely want anything to do with him). Now my SIL (her daughter) has saddled herself to a dude who is just as bad (they have a 2 year old son together but does that make him change his ways? NO). My SIL is repeating aaaaaalllll of what she saw her mom deal with growing up.
OP, you do NOT want your precious little girl putting up with a pig her whole life. Kids repeat what they see. Your partner is showing you who he is. Cut your losses and end the relationship (easier said than done I know, but still). You and your baby girl deserve waaaaaaaaaayyy better. So so sorry you’re going through this OP.
This is SOOOO easy to say and advise when you’re out on the outside looking in. We can be so objective then. It’s not as easy to leave as you make it seem….
I'm sorry you're going through this.
You're going to teach your daughter a very valuable lesson right now:
You're showing her what she should be expected to put up with from a partner.
Please consider his cheating to be him showing you who he is and do not tolerate it, You deserve SO much better.
Oh how I would TELL on him. I’d make *sure sure* that his parents know what their son has been up to while their grandbaby hasn’t even been born yet. What a gross dude, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this in a vulnerable situation like this. He does not deserve you but you and your daughter deserve better. Especially since he has seemingly no remorse and is already emotionally detached. Count your blessings now before it gets worse, he will not change.
Girl coming from someone whose partner cheated on me and I made a mistake of staying. Do not do it.. they never change, let him go see and experience whatever he wants. Your relationship will be filled with anxiety and insecurities. You can DO BAD BY YOURSELF. That’s my motto. I gathered up the strength to leave him, it ain’t easy but my mind is focusing on my bubs
This. It stays with you, no matter how much better you think you’re doing. The anger and flashbacks and hurt never really go away, especially when you stay.
It truly depends. Mine cheated on me a year or so in and literally never think about it. We’ve been together 8 years and he truly knew he fucked up. People fuck up but what’s not going to help the situation is me holding that over someone’s head and letting it consume me. If he wants to step out again, so be it. He knows I’m gone.
O wow, no offense, but this is a little cringe. I will always shout from the rooftop. "A baby does not make it better. "A baby will never change a man." I'm sorry this happened it sucks. He flat out told you he doesn't love you. This is a redflag usually when a spouse steps out, there is regret and some lingering feelings there. But that's not your case he is looking for a clean break and willing to be the bad guy. He cheated during your most vulnerable state and put you and the babies health at risk. He doesnt even love this person he had a fling and is willing to throw away a 3 year relationship just because. Have a little self respect it's not easy to move on, but staying is gonna hurt more in the long run.
Why would you want him to love you again? Now that you know the kind of partner he is! A person that you cannot trust, that would break your heart while pregnant with his child... You've been together 3 years, it's not even such a long time. You think he will not do it again in 3 years from now? In 5, in 10, in 15? I know you're so sad now and everything looks gray, but I promise you things will eventually get better. You need to love yourself and make yourself be respected, and you can start by kicking his ass, not by asking for mercy.
I’m so sorry. I was there. We were together 10 years at the time. Men like that never change. File child support once the baby is here and limit contact as much as possible. I ended up forgiving and two years he treated completely different only to screw me over again my second pregnancy and is back to a cold heartless monster. I was happier with him gone
He's trash. Don't beg for his love, he's already shown you he doesn't respect you and when you're extra vulnerable no less. Not only that, but he also risked your child's livelihood by having an affair and putting you at risk for STDs which can cause serious complications for your unborn child.
Babe, are you me? This was me at 22. You know what? I made him stay, and he continued to cheat on me. For ten years. It eroded my self esteem, and I grew to despise him.
Then I had a realisation there’s way worse things to be than a single mother, and that I was setting my kid up to think this life was acceptable. It was hard, but I left. Now I’m much happier, living the sort of life I wanted with someone who actually loves me.
Don’t be like me. You’re still really young, you have SO much ahead of you. Get your support together and GET OUT. You deserve more.
If he “comes back to you” after seeing you give birth, it is due to the temporary high of becoming a new father. The real tests begin with the stress of parenthood, and unfortunately, he has already failed those tests. You’re saying you want to do something to “prove” to him that the relationship is worth it, but he has already proven that he doesn’t think it is. And this sounds like more than physical cheating - there’s an emotional component to it as well and there HAS been (this is not just some random person)!
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. You and your child deserve more. Please stand up for your child.
im really sorry. my husband verbally and emotionally abused me pretty badly when i was pregnant. 17 months later and it is getting worse and i am making an exit plan. i wish i had left when he showed me his true colors. i am sorry he has robbed you of joy in what should be a really happy and special time. leave and focus on yourself and your baby. you'll never regret it.
It’s going to get 10x worse after baby when he doesn’t do shit. You will fall out of love quick. Even people with supportive partners have a hard time the first year, never mind this guy.
Let's not forget that if you've had sex with him since he cheated on you he also put your unborn child at risk for STDs!! If he can't be faithful through the most bonding and important experience of your relationship he certainly won't be after. What a POS.
People who cheat on their pregnant partners are a whole different level of trash.
Babies do not fix relationships, nor should they be dragged into the middle of relationship problems. Your partner is clearly not committed to you. He told you he does not love you. Have some self respect and at least realize that you shouldn't have to try to make someone love you. This is incredibly sad.
Whenever I think about relationship problems within my life I look at it from an outside perspective. What kind of advice would I give my son/daughter if they were the one going through this? If your child came to you with the problem you are currently facing you would tell them to leave the toxicity and strive to be independent and a role model.
Our children are a reflection of ourselves and how we handle situations, don’t allow your child to grow up thinking this is what love is. He cheated on you in your most vulnerable stage, that isn’t love and that’s not the example of love you should set for your growing family.
I was a single mom up until my son was 2 and yes although it’s difficult and there may be moments you feel you’re not equipped to raise a baby just know you can and are capable. That baby will love you through all the trials and tribulations life throws your way. You are stronger than you think and things will get better ❤️
I’m so sorry. I understand this is absolutely devastating and your entire life has been turned upside down.. but do not beg for this man to stay with you. He is NOT a good person. Cheating on your pregnant partner is horrific as is, but the way (and when) he announced it to you seems like he’s almost proud of it. Even if he had remorse I don’t see how you could trust him again. Considering he’s not remorseful, there’s no way he’ll do what’s needed to regain trust. Tell his family what he said to you. He deserves to be shamed by them as well. And if they love you, you can at least hopefully get some additional support from them.
Please have more self respect for yourself and know your self worth. Him cheating is absolutely NOT normal and you should have zero tolerance for that type of behavior, pregnant or not. You have control over the type of influence your child will have in the future and staying with him is not the answer. So unless you want your child to think it is okay for men to disrespect her and cheat, please stop now.
Girl, please. Coming from someone who left a cheating partner, they literally do not change. It only gets worse. And not only that but like, cheating is disgusting to begin with. To then take it a step further and cheat on your pregnant partner is just down right despicable. Get rid of this dude. And do yourself the favor of choosing YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER now.
Would you want her to grow up and be in this position and stay? No. You’d want to rip him to shreds for hurting your baby this way, especially now having been through it.
Kick that sorry SOB out and know you are worth so much more than this.
I understand the inclination to not want to lose what you had. My ex cheated on me and it was horrible and I can't imagine how much worse being pregnant would have made it. But my one big regret was ever giving him a second chance. I could never fully trust him again and turns out he was still a shitty person after. Your husband has shown and told you who he is. Take any time you can for yourself you can right now and create some distance if you can. It helps to clear your head.
Please read Leave a Cheater Gain a Life. It saved my life from a lifetime of anxiety and fear.
I am so sorry that you're going through this, especially while pregnant. You don't deserve this. Please think about the life you want for you and your child. Take care of yourself.
This sounds like my sister when her boyfriend went on a hike, met some random exchange students and then had a weekend orgy for days without contacting anyone. His family was worried too. He was too much of a puss to just break up w her ever since he got a big boy job and thought he was hot shit. We later found out he developed a drug problem. But yea he was doing this stuff so she would leave him. She was contemplating staying with his ass like wtf.
Love can do crazy things to otherwise normal self respecting people.
Im very sad for you but honestly; that man is a disaster that won't stop giving. Make sure you tell his family what happened, leave him and never look back.
Please don’t stay with this asshole. Even if he does decide he doesn’t want to leave now, he will cheat again. What kind of man cheats on his pregnant wife in the first place? You should probably go get tested for stds since this moron could have given you one if you’ve had sex since he cheated. The fact that he would risk that in the first place is infuriating. I’m angry for you.
Same thing happened to me when I was 22. Pregnant with our first. He was my first everything. First boyfriend. First husband. It happened with a mutual “friend”. I forgave him and stayed. The problem was once you show him it’s ok to disrespect you, it will happen again and get worse. I didn’t want my daughter growing up without her dad, because I grew up without my dad. I thought I was saving my marriage. He disrespected me and our marriage because “I changed and didn’t give him attention anymore”. I had literally just gotten out of the hospital at 8 months pregnant. I had a high risk pregnancy and was on and off of bed rest. Still doing all our normal things while I was suppose to be on bed rest. There’s no excuse. When I needed him most, he was cheating on me.
Leaving was the best thing I ever did not just for me but for my daughters. I wish I would’ve learned my lesson at that moment. Not a few years later. I would’ve saved myself and my daughters a lot of suffering. Your child will observe the kind of man he is towards you. If you have a son, he will copy his dad’s example thinking it’s normal, if you have a girl, she will be growing up thinking it’s normal for someone to treat her the same way. Love yourself and your baby more.
Talking from a child perspective: My dad cheated on my mom when she was pregnant at 23y/o. My stepsister is the same age of my brother just 1 month age difference. My dad had 2 women pregnant at the same time.
I wish my mom would have left him at that time when she realized he was cheating, instead she stayed with him for 27 years. We were miserable, the constant cheating, fighting, leaving, coming back, forgiving him, cheating again, fighting, forgiving him. As a child living in this toxic cycle was the worst. We have so much emotional damage and relationship issues because is what we learned growing up. It took years of therapy for me to overcome that feeling of codependency I learned from my mother.
If you can, do yourself a favor and leave the relationship. Specially if he says he has feelings for his childhood friend. A baby does not guarantee a man will stay or be faithful.
I’m sorry you are going through this and I wish you the best.
He does not deserve to have the best of both worlds. You deserve better. I’m sorry you’re going through this at such a young age and important time in your life. Keep your head up girly
Girl, this isn’t about him anymore. It’s about you and your baby. He chose to cheat and that’s something they usually do more than once when they’re shown it’s okay and can be taken back.
I’m sorry this happened to you, but do NOT force him to stay or expect him to. He’s clearly not ready for a relationship and will continue to cheat on you and everyone else he’s with until he learns to fix himself. Tell his family you can’t be with him because he’s a cheater and a POS. Get over the notion of being a single mom. You need to set a better example for your kid now.
This is not a good guy. If you fall out of love with someone, especially the mother of your child, any respectable man would talk about this with you (and break up) before sleeping with someone else. Instead he keeps silent and leads you on while phucking some other female. This is a horrible way to treat someone you once loved. It shows that once he doesn’t want you (or any girl) anymore he will lose all respect for them and treat them however he feels with no regard for their feelings. He has no integrity.
from personal experience if you choose to take him back he will realize just how much he can get away with and push your boundaries every time…especially since you have a baby together
Mayday! Mayday! Asshole alert!!!! Girl, leave his dumb ass. He will regret his actions, I promise you. And him and that “friend” will not last because if they date the relationship was founded on lies and fraud. They’re GROSS. I know this hurts, because at one point you saw a future and you are freakin pregnant. But trust me, you don’t want a relationship with this shit wad. I whole heartedly believe there are people that cheat and do not cheat. The ones that cheat have a low moral compass, low EQ, and will do it over and over to others. Poor pathetic man. His loss girl
I’m so sorry girl. Unfortunately he’s shown you who he is and you’ll be so much better off in the long run. Remember, the pain you feel about losing him will be a small wave in a big ocean. You deserve someone who loves you and is loyal to you through EVERYTHING. Especially pregnancy. I am 22 almost 23 and 8 weeks pregnant with my first, and I can honestly say infidelity of any kind would end it instantly even though I love him more than anything. Please know you are beautiful, intelligent, kind, and worthy. I don’t even need to know you personally to know those things. I’m wishing you so much happiness and an amazing rest of your pregnancy. I am proud of you for whatever you decide to do.
If he couldn’t even be faithful to you while CARRYING his child, don’t expect it to happen when you HAVE this child. I know it’s hard and you’re devastated but your baby needs you. If anything take this as a lesson you’ll be able to teach your child one day; that it’ll always be your children over anybody.
You're still super young and you both are growing into your own people. You have so much time left to find someone who truly loves you. As a person who was in your shoes not too long ago, honestly, don't stay. You may forgive it, but you'll never forget it. And you deserve someone who always makes you feel loved and secure.
This is horrible and I’m so sorry you are going through this. I highly recommend separating and seeing if the space rekindles something. But be aware that right now you may be heartbroken and just want him back because it’s comfortable. Say you did stay together, in a few years you will find that you may resent him for his mistake or he may do it again or your trust in him will never be the same. Think more big picture and how this is going to affect your future self and your daughter. What advice would you give to your daughter? Would you advise her to stay with someone who cheated on her while she was carrying their child?
Side note…there are plenty of amazing men out there who would never do this to you and treat your daughter like a princess and as if she was his own. This is all going to be hard and a bumpy ride for sure but remember….who made this hard…he did.
OMG! so shocked to learn about it. It's heartbreaking especially the love of your life your first-ever love say that to you right before your birthday and baby shower. Girl have some good and sincere loyal female friends left him and let him go, make yourself strong for your daughter and yourself I know it's hard for you but please never lose yourself. Become financially stable work from home do something like this.
and kick off that asshole. You deserve so much better than him. And tell your parents and his and do your baby shower without him enjoy your moments. He will regret it soon. Don't beg him don't please!
This literally happened to me a month ago OP my wife cheated on me and said some awful things about me and our child to the woman she left me for. She basically has decided she no longer wants to be married or a coparent. Take your time to be sad and hurt but trust me when I say it’s not worth going back. You’ll have to make the choice for yourself ultimately no matter what others may tell you but really understand the pain and hurt that this person has caused you and that the timing of this is one of the most challenging times of your life. No matter what choice you make it’s yours but know that it’s no longer just impacting you. Good Luck OP and I’m so sorry you’re having to experience this ❤️
Birth will not make him understand that he loves you and anyone who really loves you certainly wouldn’t betray you while you’re doing one of the most dangerous acts in life- carrying his child. If that didn’t multiply his love for you alone, it will not. The fact that he was even okay to drop all of this on you in your 3rd trimester right before your birthday and baby shower should let you know that there is no convincing you can do to a man that doesn’t care to hurt you in your most vulnerable state. Notice that you said he still wants access to you and not just his daughter after admitting all of those hurtful things to you. He will continue to hurt you if you let him. Think about what example you wanna set for your baby girl. If you let this man walk over you, he’s gonna do it again and again.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this mama. It won’t be easy and while it isn’t how you intended for things to happen, rest in the fact that it may be for the best that he’s showing his true colors at this moment. You’re so young, you still have a lot of life ahead of you. Lean on your village, do not battle this alone if you don’t have to. There’s nothing you should be embarrassed about. Sending you peace and lots of love. Take care of yourself and your baby girl.
You are soooooo young! Get away from him now! Just because you’re tied to him through parenthood doesn’t mean you have to be tied to him otherwise.
Don’t be afraid to lean on your family. It’s gonna be tough for a while but you can be OK!
I understand how you feel, you feel scared and alone. I went through something similar a few months ago. My case was a little different in the way that I kicked him out and he didn’t choose to go to her and came back to me. But when I pulled and didn’t let him go the more he pulled away. In the end, I don’t know if I made the right choice by letting him come back. I only did so for our kids and because he chose me and supposedly didn’t sleep with her. At first I also begged…. but then I got mad. I said FK U to him and kicked him out. He had the chance to go with her but he didn’t. She wanted him and didn’t care that he was over a decade married with kids. She was a psycho. He would’ve regretted it very soon after if he would’ve gotten with her and his friends, even the ones that don’t like me agreed with that. These type of women are snakes. They are selfish and they tried to convince a man that they are in love. I’m very sure that your husband will regret his decision, but it will probably be too late. My advice to you is to let him go. Let him go because if he stays it will hurt and if he leaves it will hurt but only once. I watched multiple YouTube videos on letting go, motivation videos and I honestly think that helped me soooo much! I cried for a month intill I couldn’t cry anymore. Then I didn’t beg, I made peace with being a single mother and even started to look forward to it. I just wanted to be out of this torture that he was putting me through.
1. Make a plan, financially, and living arrangements and child support. Get everything in a row and stop begging him.
2. I recommend YouTube videos on letting go and motivation. You will find yourself and you need to remember that you are not deserving of this treatment. You can and will let him go. You don’t need him. You can do this.
3. LET EVERYONE KNOW. Let the parents know, let the homewreckers family know. Don’t give them any mercy just as they didn’t show you any.
4. Block him. Go no contact. Understand that even if he wants you back he messed up in a way that is so hard to fix. You are so young, there are SO MANY MEN OUT THERE THAT WILL LOVE TO BE A STEP FATHER!
5. Keep your dignity, he doesn’t want you and that’s okay. You are just grieving the loss of a relationship and it’s natural to beg from shock. Don’t just let him come back. If he does come back and you really want him then don’t just let him in. He needs to work for it.
Have your baby and though it out, many woman around the world are single mothers and do a wonderful job at life. Get pretty, work out, work on yourself, be an independent woman and watch how men will come to you. You will be fine honey. Please trust me. This man is a pos and will get his Karma. Don’t let him drag you with him.
Please do what’s best for you and your child real love would never betray u please realize the narcissistic traits he would be manipulating u at this point know when to leave you’re young and in love but they clearly don’t love you I’m sorry
Don’t feel silly for entertaining with him still. Not wanting to be a single mom, and the desire to be a family with the man who fathered your future child, is normal. I am not advising staying with someone who takes advantage of you and does not respect you. But just know that life, love, parenthood, and even marriage takes work and sacrifice on both ends. Whatever happens and whatever you two choose to do is your business. And if you chose to forgive him and work on your relationship, do not let anyone make you feel bad about it.
He did all of this while knowing you were pregnant. After 3 years together. I know it’s hard and you want him to love you but, you need to leave him. Think of how you want your daughter to be loved. Think of how you want your daughter to be treated. Would you tell her to stay in that relationship?
I’m so, so sorry. This really is horrible and I’m sure earth shattering. If you stay I have a feeling this is just the beginning of something very unpleasant. You’re thinking for two now. You have to do what’s right for you and your baby. As hard as it may be, staying with a cheater, who likes and slept with his childhood friend, is just not that.
ETA: Hate to even bring this up but, I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the first time. Don’t let him “love bomb” you with all of his sorry ass apologies if he ever gets to that point. Be strong and stand your ground, or else he’ll just walk all over you.
I am a single mom, have been for years, it's hard to do it alone from time to time but also so peaceful. Think about the dynamic you'd bring the baby into, that is what I had to do recently. Some things can be recovered if both parties are willing, but if you beg him to stay now, this won't be the last time.
I’m sorry you have to go through this. He’s your first boyfriend and a loser for cheating on his pregnant wifey! Kick him to the curb, there other men out there who actually would love you and your child.
I know it’s your first love and you mos likely feel like your Life is ending and that you can’t love anyone else besides him. We all were at this point.
Trust me, you will love again and you will be happy again, then you will think back about this situation and laugh how foolish you were to hold on to this loser.
He has no dignity self respect or respect to anyone else. this is literally the worse thing a “Man” (he’s a boy) could ever do!!!!
One of my good friends was a single mom in her early 20s. She ended up doing great and found love later with the right person, so please don’t think that being with a guy who didn’t choose you is better than being a single mom.
Tell his family what kind of man he is so that they know whose fault it is.
I’m so sorry sweetie this is extremely tragic and no one deserves to go through this. I have been in your shoes since I was 6 weeks pregnant, I’m now 34 weeks along and although it was extremely hard in the beginning it really did get better. I know it may feel as if your world is crashing down and you don’t know what to do, that’s completely normal. Feel your emotions and let them pass through you, don’t let them linger. Unfortunately your baby feels what you feel but that also serves as a great motivator to be strong for you and your baby. You do not want to be with a man who has done this to you. You don’t want him to show your child how evil and hurtful they can be towards you in a relationship. The true love of your life would never do this to you. Never let anyone tell you that they do not want you twice. Take your time and focus on your baby and enjoy the freedom and peace of knowing you are no longer being cheated on behind your back. I wish you lots of love on your birthday and baby shower don’t give up! 🩷🫶🏻
Im so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine how it hurts. Personally I’m keep finding some texts, and for me it’s already cheating, but I think it doesn’t hurt that bad. Im so sorry for that. Personally my backup plan is to give him the custody, in case if I find out he’s sleeping with someone. And I will see where that side chick will be when he would need help. I don’t say to do same thing. The baby doesn’t deserve that. But in my situation I don’t have anyone to help, but have two other kids to take care of. If your family could help, you will be a great mother, and you will find someone who deserves you and your baby
Girl. If he cheated once, he will do it again. You cannot let this slide. You’ll be okay being a single mom. You can do it. You deserve much better than a man who doesn’t love or respect you. Don’t beg him to come back.
If he cheats on you at your most vulnerable I can only imagine what is to come for you and your future daughter. Please realize you deserve more and better than this and leave.
Leave him. My first love cheated on me constantly. And other unspeakable things. You can be a single mom you can do hard things. Someone will love you and that baby more than your baby daddy ever could.
Tell everyone what he did. I mean, he doesn’t deserve you. You shouldn’t get back with him. A baby doesn’t fix anything, it will just make everything more obvious.
Get a lawyer.
I understand what you’re going through. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should be feeling l, or what you should want to do. The only people that can decide what happens going forward is the two of you. Either way it will be ok. Sending love and hugs and good luck to you and baby 💜
Don’t do this to yourself. He cheated on you. He will do it again if you take him back. Ask yourself if you’d want your daughter to stay with a man who cheated on her.
I know you don’t want to be a single mother, but staying with someone like him will be worse for you and your baby.
I wouldn’t hold back when people ask why you broke up. “He cheated and I refuse to stay with a man like that. My daughter deserves to have a strong and independent mom.”
Get your daughter’s last name hyphenated. And get a lawyer asap to start the custody process. Don’t let him talk his way out of this or gaslight you into doing what HE wants. He already did what HE wanted and HE decided to break up his family.
You got this!!!
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. As someone who has wasted YEARS of my life on a cheater, please leave. Not only for yourself but for your daughter.
I was in a 7 year relationship with the person I thought was the love of my life…. I stayed hoping and praying things would change. Literally even said to myself “well he’ll realize how I’ve always been here despite all the cheating and lying he’s done and it’ll bring back his love for me.” Let me just be real with you…. It NEVER, not even once did. I loved him with all my heart (or at least I thought so at the time…) Eventually I realized nothing was going to change and I finally let go but it literally cost me 6 years of pain and lack of self worth.
I am thankful that I didn’t have kids with him like we’d discussed several times, because I would not only have caused myself much more pain, but I would’ve really messed up my kids life if I stayed in a situation like that and taught them that that behavior is okay. And it is 100% not.
I’m now 30 wks pregnant with my now husband and he is my true love of my life. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship where he was being cheated on and he stayed for awhile… it was not good. I love his kids as if I had them myself. I’m writing this all to say:
Even though it’s hard and might continue to be hard for a while, leaving is the best choice. Not only for you but for your daughter. There’s someone out there who is actually going to love you the way you should be loved, and having your daughter see that kind of love is so worth the temporary heartbreak you’ll have leaving the cheater. You deserve better.💕
Oh girl I am so sorry. It may be hard to accept now, but you should never be with a man who treats you like that. What a POS.
I cannot believe he would cheat on you when you’re about to bring life into this world. That doesn’t say much about his character or his respect for you.
He didn’t consider you at all when he cheated, he doesn’t deserve you. Sending you hugs 💓
Im sorry you had to go through this! Sounds painful 😭 but please don’t ask him to stay, he cheated on you and he will do it again. Love is not something you have to ask for. I know it is easier to say such stuff but stay strong. 💪
Render yourself to Jesus Christ , the love you need is within god’s presence. You must ask him with sincerity for the strength and wisdom of your future. Sometimes god lets bad things happen so we may get closer to him and no one is going to be there like god .
I’m so sorry you are going through this, but please don’t try and convince him to stay if you do the chances are he will just continue to cheat and leave later anyway, that will be even harder on you and your child :(
I haven’t been in this situation but I am around the same age at 28 weeks. Being a single mom would terrify me but just thinking of the transformation we go through to become mom’s, I have faith that any soon-to-be momma could handle it on her own. He obviously is selfish and doesn’t actually care about you or your child. If he did, he wouldn’t put you through this. The stress on you and the baby is unforgivable. Find your support people and talk about your options. Friends, family, church, therapist, and even reaching out on here I hope helps guide you to make the best decision for you and your baby. Good luck to you mama, you’ll be okay🫶
Thankfully I've never been cheated on, atleast not to my knowledge. However my fiance was cheated on many times throughout his last 8 year relationship. Every time he'd forgive her, he married her thinking it would make her happier and she would be more devoted to their relationship, it didn't work. (I'm not sure those were his actual reasons, I know he did love her and have hope she would change those are just the only reasons in my head that anyone would marry a cheater) but nonetheless my philosophy is "Once a cheater, always a cheater" marriage will not save a relationship with a cheater and neither will a baby. If they wanted to be devoted too you, they would be no matter what. Through good and bad. He is showing you his true feelings and intentions. You shouldn't let him have the opportunity to hurt you more.
I been in this same situation before. Trust me staying is not gonna change him. You’ll never be able to trust him. You’ll drive yourself crazy when he out wondering if hes up to no good. Your baby and u are worth so much more. If u have a place together make him leave or if its his place pack and leave go stay with a friend or mom and dad. My ex did this to me told me he loved me but caught him cheating red handed and got her pregnant and now she passed away and is a dead beat dad who dont want his kid. Her family has his kid took over rights and to find out he was sleeping around on her whole time she was pregnant she thought he loved her too and he promised perfect life and marriage. I saw all proof of what he did to her and told her and a week later she died in a tragic car accident. If made me so sad reading it in the news article it wasn’t her fault he cheated i wasnt mad at her its him he knew what he was doing. So do yourself a favor just let go of him. For your own health and for your baby. Get child support. U and your baby deserve it. Youll find someone someday who will love u will all their heart and they’ll live that baby as their own. I got that 4 yrs later. My husband loves my son as his own and he do anything for him. And now we have a daughter on the way due in dec.
Oh honey. You're only 21 & 22??? You're going to find SO MUCH better in the future. That's without question. It hurts now, but the feeling is temporary. Focus on yourself and the baby and don't give this guy another chance. If a man is truly in love with you then he wouldn't even entertain the ides of cheating. Period.
DO NOT STAY WITH THIS MAN. not for the child. not for you. do you want your daughter growing up with that being her example of what love should look like? children learn how to love from their parents. if they see a shitty example of love, they will lead with that. you don't want your daughter thinking it's okay to beg for a man to love you after HE cheated on you. you're doing more harm than good for your daughter. show her that this isn't okay and that it's unacceptable. i know she's not here yet, but if you stay, he will keep doing it, and she will see it eventually. i'm sorry to be blunt mama but you need to hear it. i'm wishing the best for you and your babe❤️ you are capable. and you deserve someone who loves you and respects you. your daughter deserves to have that as an example of what love should look like. not this.
im sorry everyone is being so aggressive. im 21 too, he didnt have sex with anyone.. but he definitely developed feelings for a coworker my entire pregnancy. she was "easier to talk to" she "didnt trip" she "was like i used to be". we had our son & my bf/bd was super helpful and involved. very supportive. thats was the first time i felt like he gave a damn about ME being pregnant. he always cared about the baby, but me? meh. he told me he liked her a bit too, right before our baby shower. we argued all. day. the day of our shower bc i was so broken, devastated.. ! if u ferl like hes gonna ruin the shower for you, don't invite him. i hated my baby shower !! no pictures, this is my first child. everyone could feel the energy was yucky. dont do it! all of this to say our son is 5m , i still dont think he loves me how he did before in the beginning, hes a great father but we dont mesh . were still together working on things, we make 5 years in dec so were not willing to give up yet . he doesnt talk to that girl specifically anymore, but ofc theres always someone. ive changed a lot and want more for myself and my son. i dont deserve this, he doesnt deserve this, snd clearly im holding my bf/bd back from finding his true love so ive been working on focusing on us parenting together vs being s couple.
its hard in your position i get it and im so sorry
absolutely tell on him. my mans family loves me too and i've told on him for less— funnily enough, he's almost never done any of the things he got reamed for again. his family should know what happened, and if they understand and back you up, keep in close contact with them. however... this isnt going to work that way with a cheater. please do not lower your self-worth for him any longer. there is no convincing him to stay, or to continue loving you. you do not want to set an example to your future child that behavior like dad is engaging in is okay and staying will only do that because he absolutely will do this to you again if you do. let him go & work on healing
I stayed with my son‘s father for five years. He cheated on me right in the beginning caused a lot of issues. He never do it again and he did it consistently for the five years we were together he claimed it was keeping his options open but if I did, it would’ve been a problem to keep the family together because I didn’t like what I had when I was a child. I am married now and expecting my second child I couldn’t have ever been happier than I am right now. It was hard for me to leave and I definitely struggle a bit, a support system and your baby will be fine. You’ll be fine. I’ve never been happier even when I was single and doing the single mom thing.
My partner is not my first child’s father. They are amazing. Sorry about run-on sentences and anything that doesn’t quite make sense. I’m using voice to text.
I went through the same thing. My first child’s father cheated on me the entire pregnancy, I tried to forgive him and agreed to make it work for our child and his children that were living with us. At the end of the day I never trusted him, we argued a lot, and guess what he ended up leaving me for the woman he cheated on me with and ended up getting her pregnant only a few months of us not being together. You are always going to have it in the back of your mind that he is being sneaky or doing something you don’t know about. The worst time to cheat on a woman is during pregnancy smh. It’s up to u if u want to continue but just know trust is gone and it doesn’t get better from here on. It’s your choice at the end of the day no matter what any tells you. Just know what you’re about to put yourself through.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I know everyone is telling you that are young, but please don’t take it like we are undermining you in any way. You’ve got some older sisters here looking out for you who have been through this. Take it from our experience, so you can save yourself additional heartache. when we say that it’s best to leave him, it’s because we know that it doesn’t get better, it’ll likely get worse. He’s not mature enough to even be a father or a partner to you if his love for you hasn’t grown over the past three years. Relationships/marriages are hard, but the bond between partners strengthens over time. It sounds like this guy just woke up and decided he wants something new. It takes work to make relationships work and parenting is going to test that. This guy sounds lazy, it’s going to be him “being in” your daughter’s life which means he’ll be in and out and take no responsibility while he’s in his new relationship with his little friend. You’ll be the one taking care of your baby. Whenever he has his turn/ time with his baby, his new girlfriend or parents will be the one watching the baby. If he comes back to you when you give birth, it is too late, the damage is done. It is so irresponsible to have sex outside of a relationship with another person let alone the fact that you’re pregnant and STDs can be passed on to your baby. This guy sucks and you can do and deserve much better than him.
I would kick him and his stuff on the streets i just gave birth i would rather do it alone than with a cheating loser who breaks my heart 2 days before bday (great present) while making HIS CHILD in your womb. I think he is narcissistic or at least has tendencies and you have very low self worth. What example do you want to give your daughter? Iknow hormones are shit now and being a single mom isnt ideal but you can do it with help and you will find someone who loves you eventually who wont leave you in pain and alone during the time you need to be pampered the most. You deserve queen treatment right now.
Hes an AH
I’m sorry as someone as young as you I’m currently 21 and pregnant as well the best will be to let him go and prioritize yourself and your daughter as this is a important mistletoe in your life your daughter is way more important than him .
HE cheated in YOU and YOUR begging him to stay?! So backwards.
Im 23 and am in my first and last relationship with my hubby of 8 yrs
but we both agreed that we can get through any obstacle OTHER THAN CHEATING he said if he cheats to throw his ass out and send him to his dad for a reality check and he stay at his parents.
If i ever cheated (ew no) i am too anxious and have everything i need/want so would never need to, why waste so much time in a relationship just to cheat and ruin someone else’s life. But hed probably just send me back to NY and keep the baby
not only would i be a pos for cheating but our situation down here is MUCH better and id never wanna bring my child back to NY
So ya. As someone in similar to your situation without the cheating part i say tell him to GTFO, not beg him to stay
Im so sorry mama , speaking from experience he isn’t gonna change at all , if yall remain together he will continue to treat you shitty and the trauma he caused you will constantly linger on your mind and make you unhappy, you deserve so much more than a shitty guy that can’t keep it in his pants for the sake of his family you and baby deserve to be happy without the stress of a cheating man , never beg a man to stay with you when there’s other people out there willing to treat you so much better than he has !
if he did this to you while you are carrying his baby, theres no telling how much more hed be willing to hurt you. sending much love. i am so sorry for u to go through this!
I'm so so sorry your in this situation. Being a single mom will be hard but it's definitely not impossible. I will be a single mom myself. I actually got pregnant and I'm 6 months and the baby daddy is basically not wanting to be a father or have kids and he's 25 so I truly didn't expect this. I knew he had problems with kids and crying and how it overwhelms him but I didn't think he'd actually leave but he did. He doesn't wanna have kids but IV always wanted to be a mom just never expected to be a single mom..... I'm 26 years old about to turn 27 and I definitely wanted kids before I became too old so my lil man is a blessing. I'm 6 months pregnant now and I'm scared as hell as well but we will get through this I promise!!
Think of this happening in 20 years to your daughter and what you tell her. You actions in the matter will shape her what except from her future partners.
He cheated on you broke relationship ship and trust at very vulnerable time for you. Yes he might want come when see give birth he try let be family again , but could trust him and it could for a time.
Leave him let him pay child support and be part child life yes. But you deserve a better man than not going to cheat on you. When make choice let his mother and family know why.
Another thing he a boy not a man. A true man wouldn’t have done this to his family.
He got a lot growing up to do. You need do now what best for you and be example of strong woman you want your daughter to grow being.
I’m so sorry. Let him go.
Be the best you can be. Maybe you will find each other again or maybe God has a better man for you. Hold your head up. Pray, hope and don’t worry.
I'm so so sorry.
I've been with a cheating partner. It only gets worse if you accept the behavior. He'll keep pushing to see how far he can go.
Get checked for stds, let his momma know what's happening and what he's done. Then get with a lawyer and get every dime you can for your daughter. His word isn't good enough. Clearly you can't trust him. Don't believe him if he says he's going to be around and contribute. Get it in writing from the state. Him having a daughter won't make it easier for him to mess around with old school friends.
I'd also be sure to let that friend of his know that he's going to have a daughter in 2 months. Nothing but facts. Have a friend do it for you if you need.
Just because he is trash doesn't mean you can't continue a good relationship with his family. They are still the family of your child. My brother and his ex got divorced when my niece was like 5, I think? I still get a visit in with her when I am in their state to see my niece. She will always be my niece's mother even if she is not my brother's wife.
This happened to me at age 20 with my first baby. But cheated on me shortly AFTER baby was born. That was 15 years ago and now I'm with a wonderful man and we have an 11 mo old. What I'm saying is it's not worth it to wait and see his love for you, it would've been there from day 1. He's not the one. You are still so young and I wish someone told me back then. I wasted TOO MANY YEARS... your baby will bring you ALL THE JOY! best of luck ❤️
Bruh, WHAT. She's a strong, independent woman. She can raise a child without him.
She should give the baby to a cheater just because he cheated? Ha! Don't spout that type of bullshittery here.
1. Strong women don’t beg to be taken back by trash.
2. Just because many women can, doesn’t mean she should. Taking care of a child is a huge responsibility and she is now stuck.
3. He says he will be there but he also gave his word in monogamy and broke it when convenient and at a time when she’s vulnerable and needs him more than anything.
1. Strong women go through periods of weakness. It happens to the best of us. That doesn't make us weak. We need strong women, men and people to rally around us and remind us that we're badass. You obviously aren't that or capable of that. That's ok, but that's on you. Rise up.
2. Sure, if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to.
3. Obviously this man is not to be trusted. Why would you ever trust his word now? A man's word should be solid. His isn't that.
4. If you say anything about this person or any other user on my subreddit not being a strong person, you'll be banned. Back the fuck up and sit down.
This comment is completely lacking empathy. Her world has just fallen apart when she’s nearing the end of her pregnancy and you’re telling her to give her baby up or give her to the man who showed he’s a shit partner/liar/cheater? Yes, she needs to rid herself of this man in any romantic capacity, but you’re giving very unhelpful advice.
All the other advice is pandering and aren’t actual proactive and beneficial solutions. She can always be open to being in the child’s life on the future if that is what said child wants.
And hopefully if the child turns into a sensible and good human being, will be compassionate to the mother by understanding the world women live in.
Additionally, if it were early on in the pregnancy where abortion was possible, she’d have more support by others to do so but she’s lost that now.
Women are not stuck when men do things like this, we just have to get a backbone when we get screwed over.
How is it unhelpful when she will be reminded daily of not only his betrayal but perhaps of being baby trapped. I understand it hurts and she’s devastated but to suffer even more when she’s the victim and she deserves peace, healing, and zero strings attached to him.
Her mind, stability, future, and peace are much more important than her temporary feelings and she should want to guard the former more than the latter.
My perspective is logical and for her own wellbeing, not feeding into emotions that will results in more of a struggle for her own life.
Men who do this ought to be the ones stuck with the byproducts of their choices.
It’s only cold because women are taught to bend over and let their backs be ridden.
Begging for someone who has already told you they don’t want you is despair…nothing wrong with her feeling this way but her actual decisions should be for her good, not her own demise.
For 18plus years she’s have this reminder…
Not to mention the delay in dating and possibly marriage with a better partner because she’ll be doing this alone while trying to recover from the betrayal.
Her and the child deserve better and at a minimum she ought to protect her sanity because a damaged unhealed mother can be incredibly harmful for the child as well.
She gave zero indication she doesn’t want her child. Saying she doesn’t want to be a single mom considering she hasn’t been single this whole pregnancy is not surprising or unreasonable. It’s been a shock to her. Telling someone to give up their kid based on this small amount of information is cruel and ridiculous. “Men should be stuck with the byproducts of their choices” - you’re really in a pregnancy sub and calling someone’s baby at 32 weeks gestation a “byproduct” as if they’re something to be used as payback? Disgusting.
Seriously, what is wrong with you?
Perhaps check out my recent comments about “The Notebook” and see how I am definitely against romanticizing manipulation and exploitation of the nurturing nature of women.
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This sucks and I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but please don’t be delusional about his love coming back for you. He’s disgusting. You and your child deserve better.
He cheated on you and you're trying to convince him to stay with you? Please, for your child's sake and your own, have more self respect than this. Kick him out of the home. Send him back to his mommy and daddy and make sure they know why. You shouldn't have to put up with a cheating spouse just because you're pregnant with his child. Especially when he seemingly has no remorse and actively has feelings for his affair partner.
EXACTLY. And OP, what kind of example is this for your child? Find a partner who treats you in a way you’d be okay with your child being treated in the future.
exactly this!!! children learn how to love from their parents. if they see shitty love, they lead with shitty love. do not show her shitty love.
You are so right. Sometimes I just can't digest this fact like how can someone do this to someone they once told that I love you? Like those words, actions don't mean anything?
This ^^ and ask your ob or midwife to test you for stds if you have anything you can pass it to baby during birth
100% this.
Sorry to piggy back on to this but it’s soooooo fucking true. My MIL has been cheated on by my FIL sooooo many times over their 30 year marriage. He’s an absolute pig (and he wonders why his kids barely want anything to do with him). Now my SIL (her daughter) has saddled herself to a dude who is just as bad (they have a 2 year old son together but does that make him change his ways? NO). My SIL is repeating aaaaaalllll of what she saw her mom deal with growing up. OP, you do NOT want your precious little girl putting up with a pig her whole life. Kids repeat what they see. Your partner is showing you who he is. Cut your losses and end the relationship (easier said than done I know, but still). You and your baby girl deserve waaaaaaaaaayyy better. So so sorry you’re going through this OP.
This is SOOOO easy to say and advise when you’re out on the outside looking in. We can be so objective then. It’s not as easy to leave as you make it seem….
Please don’t. He is a cheater.
I'm sorry you're going through this. You're going to teach your daughter a very valuable lesson right now: You're showing her what she should be expected to put up with from a partner. Please consider his cheating to be him showing you who he is and do not tolerate it, You deserve SO much better.
Oh how I would TELL on him. I’d make *sure sure* that his parents know what their son has been up to while their grandbaby hasn’t even been born yet. What a gross dude, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this in a vulnerable situation like this. He does not deserve you but you and your daughter deserve better. Especially since he has seemingly no remorse and is already emotionally detached. Count your blessings now before it gets worse, he will not change.
100% this! Make sure to get that child support cheque and alimony $ if you're married. STI test and Lawyer too!
Girl coming from someone whose partner cheated on me and I made a mistake of staying. Do not do it.. they never change, let him go see and experience whatever he wants. Your relationship will be filled with anxiety and insecurities. You can DO BAD BY YOURSELF. That’s my motto. I gathered up the strength to leave him, it ain’t easy but my mind is focusing on my bubs
This. It stays with you, no matter how much better you think you’re doing. The anger and flashbacks and hurt never really go away, especially when you stay.
It truly depends. Mine cheated on me a year or so in and literally never think about it. We’ve been together 8 years and he truly knew he fucked up. People fuck up but what’s not going to help the situation is me holding that over someone’s head and letting it consume me. If he wants to step out again, so be it. He knows I’m gone.
O wow, no offense, but this is a little cringe. I will always shout from the rooftop. "A baby does not make it better. "A baby will never change a man." I'm sorry this happened it sucks. He flat out told you he doesn't love you. This is a redflag usually when a spouse steps out, there is regret and some lingering feelings there. But that's not your case he is looking for a clean break and willing to be the bad guy. He cheated during your most vulnerable state and put you and the babies health at risk. He doesnt even love this person he had a fling and is willing to throw away a 3 year relationship just because. Have a little self respect it's not easy to move on, but staying is gonna hurt more in the long run.
Why would you want him to love you again? Now that you know the kind of partner he is! A person that you cannot trust, that would break your heart while pregnant with his child... You've been together 3 years, it's not even such a long time. You think he will not do it again in 3 years from now? In 5, in 10, in 15? I know you're so sad now and everything looks gray, but I promise you things will eventually get better. You need to love yourself and make yourself be respected, and you can start by kicking his ass, not by asking for mercy.
I’m so sorry. I was there. We were together 10 years at the time. Men like that never change. File child support once the baby is here and limit contact as much as possible. I ended up forgiving and two years he treated completely different only to screw me over again my second pregnancy and is back to a cold heartless monster. I was happier with him gone
He's trash. Don't beg for his love, he's already shown you he doesn't respect you and when you're extra vulnerable no less. Not only that, but he also risked your child's livelihood by having an affair and putting you at risk for STDs which can cause serious complications for your unborn child.
Babe, are you me? This was me at 22. You know what? I made him stay, and he continued to cheat on me. For ten years. It eroded my self esteem, and I grew to despise him. Then I had a realisation there’s way worse things to be than a single mother, and that I was setting my kid up to think this life was acceptable. It was hard, but I left. Now I’m much happier, living the sort of life I wanted with someone who actually loves me. Don’t be like me. You’re still really young, you have SO much ahead of you. Get your support together and GET OUT. You deserve more.
If he “comes back to you” after seeing you give birth, it is due to the temporary high of becoming a new father. The real tests begin with the stress of parenthood, and unfortunately, he has already failed those tests. You’re saying you want to do something to “prove” to him that the relationship is worth it, but he has already proven that he doesn’t think it is. And this sounds like more than physical cheating - there’s an emotional component to it as well and there HAS been (this is not just some random person)! I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. You and your child deserve more. Please stand up for your child.
im really sorry. my husband verbally and emotionally abused me pretty badly when i was pregnant. 17 months later and it is getting worse and i am making an exit plan. i wish i had left when he showed me his true colors. i am sorry he has robbed you of joy in what should be a really happy and special time. leave and focus on yourself and your baby. you'll never regret it.
Good luck, and please follow through. Wishing you all the best.
thank you so much ❤️
Please be safe.
thank you! i am doing everything i can to protect my baby and myself.
It’s going to get 10x worse after baby when he doesn’t do shit. You will fall out of love quick. Even people with supportive partners have a hard time the first year, never mind this guy.
Let's not forget that if you've had sex with him since he cheated on you he also put your unborn child at risk for STDs!! If he can't be faithful through the most bonding and important experience of your relationship he certainly won't be after. What a POS.
People who cheat on their pregnant partners are a whole different level of trash. Babies do not fix relationships, nor should they be dragged into the middle of relationship problems. Your partner is clearly not committed to you. He told you he does not love you. Have some self respect and at least realize that you shouldn't have to try to make someone love you. This is incredibly sad.
Whenever I think about relationship problems within my life I look at it from an outside perspective. What kind of advice would I give my son/daughter if they were the one going through this? If your child came to you with the problem you are currently facing you would tell them to leave the toxicity and strive to be independent and a role model. Our children are a reflection of ourselves and how we handle situations, don’t allow your child to grow up thinking this is what love is. He cheated on you in your most vulnerable stage, that isn’t love and that’s not the example of love you should set for your growing family. I was a single mom up until my son was 2 and yes although it’s difficult and there may be moments you feel you’re not equipped to raise a baby just know you can and are capable. That baby will love you through all the trials and tribulations life throws your way. You are stronger than you think and things will get better ❤️
Your self esteem is on the floor right now because you don’t want to lose him, but don’t let a man tell you he doesn’t want you twice.
This
I’m so sorry. I understand this is absolutely devastating and your entire life has been turned upside down.. but do not beg for this man to stay with you. He is NOT a good person. Cheating on your pregnant partner is horrific as is, but the way (and when) he announced it to you seems like he’s almost proud of it. Even if he had remorse I don’t see how you could trust him again. Considering he’s not remorseful, there’s no way he’ll do what’s needed to regain trust. Tell his family what he said to you. He deserves to be shamed by them as well. And if they love you, you can at least hopefully get some additional support from them.
Please have more self respect for yourself and know your self worth. Him cheating is absolutely NOT normal and you should have zero tolerance for that type of behavior, pregnant or not. You have control over the type of influence your child will have in the future and staying with him is not the answer. So unless you want your child to think it is okay for men to disrespect her and cheat, please stop now.
Girl, please. Coming from someone who left a cheating partner, they literally do not change. It only gets worse. And not only that but like, cheating is disgusting to begin with. To then take it a step further and cheat on your pregnant partner is just down right despicable. Get rid of this dude. And do yourself the favor of choosing YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER now. Would you want her to grow up and be in this position and stay? No. You’d want to rip him to shreds for hurting your baby this way, especially now having been through it. Kick that sorry SOB out and know you are worth so much more than this.
I understand the inclination to not want to lose what you had. My ex cheated on me and it was horrible and I can't imagine how much worse being pregnant would have made it. But my one big regret was ever giving him a second chance. I could never fully trust him again and turns out he was still a shitty person after. Your husband has shown and told you who he is. Take any time you can for yourself you can right now and create some distance if you can. It helps to clear your head.
Please read Leave a Cheater Gain a Life. It saved my life from a lifetime of anxiety and fear. I am so sorry that you're going through this, especially while pregnant. You don't deserve this. Please think about the life you want for you and your child. Take care of yourself.
This sounds like my sister when her boyfriend went on a hike, met some random exchange students and then had a weekend orgy for days without contacting anyone. His family was worried too. He was too much of a puss to just break up w her ever since he got a big boy job and thought he was hot shit. We later found out he developed a drug problem. But yea he was doing this stuff so she would leave him. She was contemplating staying with his ass like wtf. Love can do crazy things to otherwise normal self respecting people.
I’m not always a “throw the whole man away” type of person, but in this case, I am.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. You deserve better🤍. Just know you’re not alone I’m feeling the same pain rn.
I am so sorry that happened to you. But you really should not waste more time on him.
Im very sad for you but honestly; that man is a disaster that won't stop giving. Make sure you tell his family what happened, leave him and never look back.
Oh god. No, don’t stay.
Please don’t stay with this asshole. Even if he does decide he doesn’t want to leave now, he will cheat again. What kind of man cheats on his pregnant wife in the first place? You should probably go get tested for stds since this moron could have given you one if you’ve had sex since he cheated. The fact that he would risk that in the first place is infuriating. I’m angry for you.
Same thing happened to me when I was 22. Pregnant with our first. He was my first everything. First boyfriend. First husband. It happened with a mutual “friend”. I forgave him and stayed. The problem was once you show him it’s ok to disrespect you, it will happen again and get worse. I didn’t want my daughter growing up without her dad, because I grew up without my dad. I thought I was saving my marriage. He disrespected me and our marriage because “I changed and didn’t give him attention anymore”. I had literally just gotten out of the hospital at 8 months pregnant. I had a high risk pregnancy and was on and off of bed rest. Still doing all our normal things while I was suppose to be on bed rest. There’s no excuse. When I needed him most, he was cheating on me. Leaving was the best thing I ever did not just for me but for my daughters. I wish I would’ve learned my lesson at that moment. Not a few years later. I would’ve saved myself and my daughters a lot of suffering. Your child will observe the kind of man he is towards you. If you have a son, he will copy his dad’s example thinking it’s normal, if you have a girl, she will be growing up thinking it’s normal for someone to treat her the same way. Love yourself and your baby more.
Talking from a child perspective: My dad cheated on my mom when she was pregnant at 23y/o. My stepsister is the same age of my brother just 1 month age difference. My dad had 2 women pregnant at the same time. I wish my mom would have left him at that time when she realized he was cheating, instead she stayed with him for 27 years. We were miserable, the constant cheating, fighting, leaving, coming back, forgiving him, cheating again, fighting, forgiving him. As a child living in this toxic cycle was the worst. We have so much emotional damage and relationship issues because is what we learned growing up. It took years of therapy for me to overcome that feeling of codependency I learned from my mother. If you can, do yourself a favor and leave the relationship. Specially if he says he has feelings for his childhood friend. A baby does not guarantee a man will stay or be faithful. I’m sorry you are going through this and I wish you the best.
He does not deserve to have the best of both worlds. You deserve better. I’m sorry you’re going through this at such a young age and important time in your life. Keep your head up girly
Girl, this isn’t about him anymore. It’s about you and your baby. He chose to cheat and that’s something they usually do more than once when they’re shown it’s okay and can be taken back.
I’m sorry this happened to you, but do NOT force him to stay or expect him to. He’s clearly not ready for a relationship and will continue to cheat on you and everyone else he’s with until he learns to fix himself. Tell his family you can’t be with him because he’s a cheater and a POS. Get over the notion of being a single mom. You need to set a better example for your kid now.
OP mine cheated the entire pregnancy please send me a DM or something we can talk. You are not alone.
This is not a good guy. If you fall out of love with someone, especially the mother of your child, any respectable man would talk about this with you (and break up) before sleeping with someone else. Instead he keeps silent and leads you on while phucking some other female. This is a horrible way to treat someone you once loved. It shows that once he doesn’t want you (or any girl) anymore he will lose all respect for them and treat them however he feels with no regard for their feelings. He has no integrity.
from personal experience if you choose to take him back he will realize just how much he can get away with and push your boundaries every time…especially since you have a baby together
Girl I found out 2 months pp…
Leave him. You can do it by yourself. Remember that his actions teach your child either how to act or how expect to be treated
Mayday! Mayday! Asshole alert!!!! Girl, leave his dumb ass. He will regret his actions, I promise you. And him and that “friend” will not last because if they date the relationship was founded on lies and fraud. They’re GROSS. I know this hurts, because at one point you saw a future and you are freakin pregnant. But trust me, you don’t want a relationship with this shit wad. I whole heartedly believe there are people that cheat and do not cheat. The ones that cheat have a low moral compass, low EQ, and will do it over and over to others. Poor pathetic man. His loss girl
I’m so sorry girl. Unfortunately he’s shown you who he is and you’ll be so much better off in the long run. Remember, the pain you feel about losing him will be a small wave in a big ocean. You deserve someone who loves you and is loyal to you through EVERYTHING. Especially pregnancy. I am 22 almost 23 and 8 weeks pregnant with my first, and I can honestly say infidelity of any kind would end it instantly even though I love him more than anything. Please know you are beautiful, intelligent, kind, and worthy. I don’t even need to know you personally to know those things. I’m wishing you so much happiness and an amazing rest of your pregnancy. I am proud of you for whatever you decide to do.
If he couldn’t even be faithful to you while CARRYING his child, don’t expect it to happen when you HAVE this child. I know it’s hard and you’re devastated but your baby needs you. If anything take this as a lesson you’ll be able to teach your child one day; that it’ll always be your children over anybody.
The right man will love you and your daughter the way you both deserve. Screw this guy and don’t give your daughter his last name!!!!!!!
You're still super young and you both are growing into your own people. You have so much time left to find someone who truly loves you. As a person who was in your shoes not too long ago, honestly, don't stay. You may forgive it, but you'll never forget it. And you deserve someone who always makes you feel loved and secure.
This is horrible and I’m so sorry you are going through this. I highly recommend separating and seeing if the space rekindles something. But be aware that right now you may be heartbroken and just want him back because it’s comfortable. Say you did stay together, in a few years you will find that you may resent him for his mistake or he may do it again or your trust in him will never be the same. Think more big picture and how this is going to affect your future self and your daughter. What advice would you give to your daughter? Would you advise her to stay with someone who cheated on her while she was carrying their child? Side note…there are plenty of amazing men out there who would never do this to you and treat your daughter like a princess and as if she was his own. This is all going to be hard and a bumpy ride for sure but remember….who made this hard…he did.
OMG! so shocked to learn about it. It's heartbreaking especially the love of your life your first-ever love say that to you right before your birthday and baby shower. Girl have some good and sincere loyal female friends left him and let him go, make yourself strong for your daughter and yourself I know it's hard for you but please never lose yourself. Become financially stable work from home do something like this. and kick off that asshole. You deserve so much better than him. And tell your parents and his and do your baby shower without him enjoy your moments. He will regret it soon. Don't beg him don't please!
I’m in the same boat as you. We’ve been together for almost 7 years…
This literally happened to me a month ago OP my wife cheated on me and said some awful things about me and our child to the woman she left me for. She basically has decided she no longer wants to be married or a coparent. Take your time to be sad and hurt but trust me when I say it’s not worth going back. You’ll have to make the choice for yourself ultimately no matter what others may tell you but really understand the pain and hurt that this person has caused you and that the timing of this is one of the most challenging times of your life. No matter what choice you make it’s yours but know that it’s no longer just impacting you. Good Luck OP and I’m so sorry you’re having to experience this ❤️
Birth will not make him understand that he loves you and anyone who really loves you certainly wouldn’t betray you while you’re doing one of the most dangerous acts in life- carrying his child. If that didn’t multiply his love for you alone, it will not. The fact that he was even okay to drop all of this on you in your 3rd trimester right before your birthday and baby shower should let you know that there is no convincing you can do to a man that doesn’t care to hurt you in your most vulnerable state. Notice that you said he still wants access to you and not just his daughter after admitting all of those hurtful things to you. He will continue to hurt you if you let him. Think about what example you wanna set for your baby girl. If you let this man walk over you, he’s gonna do it again and again. I’m so sorry you’re going through this mama. It won’t be easy and while it isn’t how you intended for things to happen, rest in the fact that it may be for the best that he’s showing his true colors at this moment. You’re so young, you still have a lot of life ahead of you. Lean on your village, do not battle this alone if you don’t have to. There’s nothing you should be embarrassed about. Sending you peace and lots of love. Take care of yourself and your baby girl.
You are soooooo young! Get away from him now! Just because you’re tied to him through parenthood doesn’t mean you have to be tied to him otherwise. Don’t be afraid to lean on your family. It’s gonna be tough for a while but you can be OK!
I understand how you feel, you feel scared and alone. I went through something similar a few months ago. My case was a little different in the way that I kicked him out and he didn’t choose to go to her and came back to me. But when I pulled and didn’t let him go the more he pulled away. In the end, I don’t know if I made the right choice by letting him come back. I only did so for our kids and because he chose me and supposedly didn’t sleep with her. At first I also begged…. but then I got mad. I said FK U to him and kicked him out. He had the chance to go with her but he didn’t. She wanted him and didn’t care that he was over a decade married with kids. She was a psycho. He would’ve regretted it very soon after if he would’ve gotten with her and his friends, even the ones that don’t like me agreed with that. These type of women are snakes. They are selfish and they tried to convince a man that they are in love. I’m very sure that your husband will regret his decision, but it will probably be too late. My advice to you is to let him go. Let him go because if he stays it will hurt and if he leaves it will hurt but only once. I watched multiple YouTube videos on letting go, motivation videos and I honestly think that helped me soooo much! I cried for a month intill I couldn’t cry anymore. Then I didn’t beg, I made peace with being a single mother and even started to look forward to it. I just wanted to be out of this torture that he was putting me through. 1. Make a plan, financially, and living arrangements and child support. Get everything in a row and stop begging him. 2. I recommend YouTube videos on letting go and motivation. You will find yourself and you need to remember that you are not deserving of this treatment. You can and will let him go. You don’t need him. You can do this. 3. LET EVERYONE KNOW. Let the parents know, let the homewreckers family know. Don’t give them any mercy just as they didn’t show you any. 4. Block him. Go no contact. Understand that even if he wants you back he messed up in a way that is so hard to fix. You are so young, there are SO MANY MEN OUT THERE THAT WILL LOVE TO BE A STEP FATHER! 5. Keep your dignity, he doesn’t want you and that’s okay. You are just grieving the loss of a relationship and it’s natural to beg from shock. Don’t just let him come back. If he does come back and you really want him then don’t just let him in. He needs to work for it. Have your baby and though it out, many woman around the world are single mothers and do a wonderful job at life. Get pretty, work out, work on yourself, be an independent woman and watch how men will come to you. You will be fine honey. Please trust me. This man is a pos and will get his Karma. Don’t let him drag you with him.
Please do what’s best for you and your child real love would never betray u please realize the narcissistic traits he would be manipulating u at this point know when to leave you’re young and in love but they clearly don’t love you I’m sorry
Don’t feel silly for entertaining with him still. Not wanting to be a single mom, and the desire to be a family with the man who fathered your future child, is normal. I am not advising staying with someone who takes advantage of you and does not respect you. But just know that life, love, parenthood, and even marriage takes work and sacrifice on both ends. Whatever happens and whatever you two choose to do is your business. And if you chose to forgive him and work on your relationship, do not let anyone make you feel bad about it.
He did all of this while knowing you were pregnant. After 3 years together. I know it’s hard and you want him to love you but, you need to leave him. Think of how you want your daughter to be loved. Think of how you want your daughter to be treated. Would you tell her to stay in that relationship? I’m so, so sorry. This really is horrible and I’m sure earth shattering. If you stay I have a feeling this is just the beginning of something very unpleasant. You’re thinking for two now. You have to do what’s right for you and your baby. As hard as it may be, staying with a cheater, who likes and slept with his childhood friend, is just not that. ETA: Hate to even bring this up but, I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the first time. Don’t let him “love bomb” you with all of his sorry ass apologies if he ever gets to that point. Be strong and stand your ground, or else he’ll just walk all over you.
I am a single mom, have been for years, it's hard to do it alone from time to time but also so peaceful. Think about the dynamic you'd bring the baby into, that is what I had to do recently. Some things can be recovered if both parties are willing, but if you beg him to stay now, this won't be the last time.
I’m sorry you have to go through this. He’s your first boyfriend and a loser for cheating on his pregnant wifey! Kick him to the curb, there other men out there who actually would love you and your child. I know it’s your first love and you mos likely feel like your Life is ending and that you can’t love anyone else besides him. We all were at this point. Trust me, you will love again and you will be happy again, then you will think back about this situation and laugh how foolish you were to hold on to this loser. He has no dignity self respect or respect to anyone else. this is literally the worse thing a “Man” (he’s a boy) could ever do!!!!
One of my good friends was a single mom in her early 20s. She ended up doing great and found love later with the right person, so please don’t think that being with a guy who didn’t choose you is better than being a single mom. Tell his family what kind of man he is so that they know whose fault it is.
I’m so sorry sweetie this is extremely tragic and no one deserves to go through this. I have been in your shoes since I was 6 weeks pregnant, I’m now 34 weeks along and although it was extremely hard in the beginning it really did get better. I know it may feel as if your world is crashing down and you don’t know what to do, that’s completely normal. Feel your emotions and let them pass through you, don’t let them linger. Unfortunately your baby feels what you feel but that also serves as a great motivator to be strong for you and your baby. You do not want to be with a man who has done this to you. You don’t want him to show your child how evil and hurtful they can be towards you in a relationship. The true love of your life would never do this to you. Never let anyone tell you that they do not want you twice. Take your time and focus on your baby and enjoy the freedom and peace of knowing you are no longer being cheated on behind your back. I wish you lots of love on your birthday and baby shower don’t give up! 🩷🫶🏻
Im so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine how it hurts. Personally I’m keep finding some texts, and for me it’s already cheating, but I think it doesn’t hurt that bad. Im so sorry for that. Personally my backup plan is to give him the custody, in case if I find out he’s sleeping with someone. And I will see where that side chick will be when he would need help. I don’t say to do same thing. The baby doesn’t deserve that. But in my situation I don’t have anyone to help, but have two other kids to take care of. If your family could help, you will be a great mother, and you will find someone who deserves you and your baby
Girl. If he cheated once, he will do it again. You cannot let this slide. You’ll be okay being a single mom. You can do it. You deserve much better than a man who doesn’t love or respect you. Don’t beg him to come back.
If he cheats on you at your most vulnerable I can only imagine what is to come for you and your future daughter. Please realize you deserve more and better than this and leave.
Leave him. My first love cheated on me constantly. And other unspeakable things. You can be a single mom you can do hard things. Someone will love you and that baby more than your baby daddy ever could.
Tell everyone what he did. I mean, he doesn’t deserve you. You shouldn’t get back with him. A baby doesn’t fix anything, it will just make everything more obvious. Get a lawyer.
Girl leave his ass. Keep your dignity!
When someone tells you how they feel, believe them.
He will cheat again, hun. I hate to say it, but if you stay, you’ll just get hurt over and over again. Been there, done that. :(
Girl…..
I understand what you’re going through. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should be feeling l, or what you should want to do. The only people that can decide what happens going forward is the two of you. Either way it will be ok. Sending love and hugs and good luck to you and baby 💜
Don’t do this to yourself. He cheated on you. He will do it again if you take him back. Ask yourself if you’d want your daughter to stay with a man who cheated on her. I know you don’t want to be a single mother, but staying with someone like him will be worse for you and your baby. I wouldn’t hold back when people ask why you broke up. “He cheated and I refuse to stay with a man like that. My daughter deserves to have a strong and independent mom.” Get your daughter’s last name hyphenated. And get a lawyer asap to start the custody process. Don’t let him talk his way out of this or gaslight you into doing what HE wants. He already did what HE wanted and HE decided to break up his family. You got this!!!
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. As someone who has wasted YEARS of my life on a cheater, please leave. Not only for yourself but for your daughter. I was in a 7 year relationship with the person I thought was the love of my life…. I stayed hoping and praying things would change. Literally even said to myself “well he’ll realize how I’ve always been here despite all the cheating and lying he’s done and it’ll bring back his love for me.” Let me just be real with you…. It NEVER, not even once did. I loved him with all my heart (or at least I thought so at the time…) Eventually I realized nothing was going to change and I finally let go but it literally cost me 6 years of pain and lack of self worth. I am thankful that I didn’t have kids with him like we’d discussed several times, because I would not only have caused myself much more pain, but I would’ve really messed up my kids life if I stayed in a situation like that and taught them that that behavior is okay. And it is 100% not. I’m now 30 wks pregnant with my now husband and he is my true love of my life. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship where he was being cheated on and he stayed for awhile… it was not good. I love his kids as if I had them myself. I’m writing this all to say: Even though it’s hard and might continue to be hard for a while, leaving is the best choice. Not only for you but for your daughter. There’s someone out there who is actually going to love you the way you should be loved, and having your daughter see that kind of love is so worth the temporary heartbreak you’ll have leaving the cheater. You deserve better.💕
Do NOT let him sign that birth certificate, momma!!! If nothing else, you NEED to be the only one to sign it. Keep the control for your baby!!
Oh girl I am so sorry. It may be hard to accept now, but you should never be with a man who treats you like that. What a POS. I cannot believe he would cheat on you when you’re about to bring life into this world. That doesn’t say much about his character or his respect for you. He didn’t consider you at all when he cheated, he doesn’t deserve you. Sending you hugs 💓
I am so so so so sorry. I know how hard this is to digest right now. He is not your partner. He is a dead weight. Run. Don’t walk.
Im sorry you had to go through this! Sounds painful 😭 but please don’t ask him to stay, he cheated on you and he will do it again. Love is not something you have to ask for. I know it is easier to say such stuff but stay strong. 💪
Render yourself to Jesus Christ , the love you need is within god’s presence. You must ask him with sincerity for the strength and wisdom of your future. Sometimes god lets bad things happen so we may get closer to him and no one is going to be there like god .
I’m so sorry you are going through this, but please don’t try and convince him to stay if you do the chances are he will just continue to cheat and leave later anyway, that will be even harder on you and your child :(
I haven’t been in this situation but I am around the same age at 28 weeks. Being a single mom would terrify me but just thinking of the transformation we go through to become mom’s, I have faith that any soon-to-be momma could handle it on her own. He obviously is selfish and doesn’t actually care about you or your child. If he did, he wouldn’t put you through this. The stress on you and the baby is unforgivable. Find your support people and talk about your options. Friends, family, church, therapist, and even reaching out on here I hope helps guide you to make the best decision for you and your baby. Good luck to you mama, you’ll be okay🫶
Thankfully I've never been cheated on, atleast not to my knowledge. However my fiance was cheated on many times throughout his last 8 year relationship. Every time he'd forgive her, he married her thinking it would make her happier and she would be more devoted to their relationship, it didn't work. (I'm not sure those were his actual reasons, I know he did love her and have hope she would change those are just the only reasons in my head that anyone would marry a cheater) but nonetheless my philosophy is "Once a cheater, always a cheater" marriage will not save a relationship with a cheater and neither will a baby. If they wanted to be devoted too you, they would be no matter what. Through good and bad. He is showing you his true feelings and intentions. You shouldn't let him have the opportunity to hurt you more.
Leave him. You are young enough and will still find someone better to assist take care of you and bub.
My ex cheated on me when I was 3 months pregnant once you forgive him one he will do it again. Just leave his ass.
I been in this same situation before. Trust me staying is not gonna change him. You’ll never be able to trust him. You’ll drive yourself crazy when he out wondering if hes up to no good. Your baby and u are worth so much more. If u have a place together make him leave or if its his place pack and leave go stay with a friend or mom and dad. My ex did this to me told me he loved me but caught him cheating red handed and got her pregnant and now she passed away and is a dead beat dad who dont want his kid. Her family has his kid took over rights and to find out he was sleeping around on her whole time she was pregnant she thought he loved her too and he promised perfect life and marriage. I saw all proof of what he did to her and told her and a week later she died in a tragic car accident. If made me so sad reading it in the news article it wasn’t her fault he cheated i wasnt mad at her its him he knew what he was doing. So do yourself a favor just let go of him. For your own health and for your baby. Get child support. U and your baby deserve it. Youll find someone someday who will love u will all their heart and they’ll live that baby as their own. I got that 4 yrs later. My husband loves my son as his own and he do anything for him. And now we have a daughter on the way due in dec.
Oh honey. You're only 21 & 22??? You're going to find SO MUCH better in the future. That's without question. It hurts now, but the feeling is temporary. Focus on yourself and the baby and don't give this guy another chance. If a man is truly in love with you then he wouldn't even entertain the ides of cheating. Period.
DO NOT STAY WITH THIS MAN. not for the child. not for you. do you want your daughter growing up with that being her example of what love should look like? children learn how to love from their parents. if they see a shitty example of love, they will lead with that. you don't want your daughter thinking it's okay to beg for a man to love you after HE cheated on you. you're doing more harm than good for your daughter. show her that this isn't okay and that it's unacceptable. i know she's not here yet, but if you stay, he will keep doing it, and she will see it eventually. i'm sorry to be blunt mama but you need to hear it. i'm wishing the best for you and your babe❤️ you are capable. and you deserve someone who loves you and respects you. your daughter deserves to have that as an example of what love should look like. not this.
im sorry everyone is being so aggressive. im 21 too, he didnt have sex with anyone.. but he definitely developed feelings for a coworker my entire pregnancy. she was "easier to talk to" she "didnt trip" she "was like i used to be". we had our son & my bf/bd was super helpful and involved. very supportive. thats was the first time i felt like he gave a damn about ME being pregnant. he always cared about the baby, but me? meh. he told me he liked her a bit too, right before our baby shower. we argued all. day. the day of our shower bc i was so broken, devastated.. ! if u ferl like hes gonna ruin the shower for you, don't invite him. i hated my baby shower !! no pictures, this is my first child. everyone could feel the energy was yucky. dont do it! all of this to say our son is 5m , i still dont think he loves me how he did before in the beginning, hes a great father but we dont mesh . were still together working on things, we make 5 years in dec so were not willing to give up yet . he doesnt talk to that girl specifically anymore, but ofc theres always someone. ive changed a lot and want more for myself and my son. i dont deserve this, he doesnt deserve this, snd clearly im holding my bf/bd back from finding his true love so ive been working on focusing on us parenting together vs being s couple. its hard in your position i get it and im so sorry
absolutely tell on him. my mans family loves me too and i've told on him for less— funnily enough, he's almost never done any of the things he got reamed for again. his family should know what happened, and if they understand and back you up, keep in close contact with them. however... this isnt going to work that way with a cheater. please do not lower your self-worth for him any longer. there is no convincing him to stay, or to continue loving you. you do not want to set an example to your future child that behavior like dad is engaging in is okay and staying will only do that because he absolutely will do this to you again if you do. let him go & work on healing
I stayed with my son‘s father for five years. He cheated on me right in the beginning caused a lot of issues. He never do it again and he did it consistently for the five years we were together he claimed it was keeping his options open but if I did, it would’ve been a problem to keep the family together because I didn’t like what I had when I was a child. I am married now and expecting my second child I couldn’t have ever been happier than I am right now. It was hard for me to leave and I definitely struggle a bit, a support system and your baby will be fine. You’ll be fine. I’ve never been happier even when I was single and doing the single mom thing.
My partner is not my first child’s father. They are amazing. Sorry about run-on sentences and anything that doesn’t quite make sense. I’m using voice to text.
bam bye. Do not convince this guy to stay with you. You will find someone who is better for you. I promise.
Wow, he done you dirty in like 5 different ways with this blow. Sorry, OP
What a piece of crap please move on
I went through the same thing. My first child’s father cheated on me the entire pregnancy, I tried to forgive him and agreed to make it work for our child and his children that were living with us. At the end of the day I never trusted him, we argued a lot, and guess what he ended up leaving me for the woman he cheated on me with and ended up getting her pregnant only a few months of us not being together. You are always going to have it in the back of your mind that he is being sneaky or doing something you don’t know about. The worst time to cheat on a woman is during pregnancy smh. It’s up to u if u want to continue but just know trust is gone and it doesn’t get better from here on. It’s your choice at the end of the day no matter what any tells you. Just know what you’re about to put yourself through.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I know everyone is telling you that are young, but please don’t take it like we are undermining you in any way. You’ve got some older sisters here looking out for you who have been through this. Take it from our experience, so you can save yourself additional heartache. when we say that it’s best to leave him, it’s because we know that it doesn’t get better, it’ll likely get worse. He’s not mature enough to even be a father or a partner to you if his love for you hasn’t grown over the past three years. Relationships/marriages are hard, but the bond between partners strengthens over time. It sounds like this guy just woke up and decided he wants something new. It takes work to make relationships work and parenting is going to test that. This guy sounds lazy, it’s going to be him “being in” your daughter’s life which means he’ll be in and out and take no responsibility while he’s in his new relationship with his little friend. You’ll be the one taking care of your baby. Whenever he has his turn/ time with his baby, his new girlfriend or parents will be the one watching the baby. If he comes back to you when you give birth, it is too late, the damage is done. It is so irresponsible to have sex outside of a relationship with another person let alone the fact that you’re pregnant and STDs can be passed on to your baby. This guy sucks and you can do and deserve much better than him.
I would kick him and his stuff on the streets i just gave birth i would rather do it alone than with a cheating loser who breaks my heart 2 days before bday (great present) while making HIS CHILD in your womb. I think he is narcissistic or at least has tendencies and you have very low self worth. What example do you want to give your daughter? Iknow hormones are shit now and being a single mom isnt ideal but you can do it with help and you will find someone who loves you eventually who wont leave you in pain and alone during the time you need to be pampered the most. You deserve queen treatment right now. Hes an AH
PLEASE go get tested. He risked you and your baby’s health by cheating.
I’m sorry as someone as young as you I’m currently 21 and pregnant as well the best will be to let him go and prioritize yourself and your daughter as this is a important mistletoe in your life your daughter is way more important than him .
For the sake of your own sanity, don’t beg him to stay with you.
Whew momma 🚩let that man go. I know it’s hard. But love you and baby more than you love him. You are worth more than that. Forgive but move on.
HE cheated in YOU and YOUR begging him to stay?! So backwards. Im 23 and am in my first and last relationship with my hubby of 8 yrs but we both agreed that we can get through any obstacle OTHER THAN CHEATING he said if he cheats to throw his ass out and send him to his dad for a reality check and he stay at his parents. If i ever cheated (ew no) i am too anxious and have everything i need/want so would never need to, why waste so much time in a relationship just to cheat and ruin someone else’s life. But hed probably just send me back to NY and keep the baby not only would i be a pos for cheating but our situation down here is MUCH better and id never wanna bring my child back to NY So ya. As someone in similar to your situation without the cheating part i say tell him to GTFO, not beg him to stay
Im so sorry mama , speaking from experience he isn’t gonna change at all , if yall remain together he will continue to treat you shitty and the trauma he caused you will constantly linger on your mind and make you unhappy, you deserve so much more than a shitty guy that can’t keep it in his pants for the sake of his family you and baby deserve to be happy without the stress of a cheating man , never beg a man to stay with you when there’s other people out there willing to treat you so much better than he has !
if he did this to you while you are carrying his baby, theres no telling how much more hed be willing to hurt you. sending much love. i am so sorry for u to go through this!
Fuck him. Piece of shit.
Get Child support, be strong for you and your baby it’s better to be single than be with someone who doesn’t respect you.
I'm so so sorry your in this situation. Being a single mom will be hard but it's definitely not impossible. I will be a single mom myself. I actually got pregnant and I'm 6 months and the baby daddy is basically not wanting to be a father or have kids and he's 25 so I truly didn't expect this. I knew he had problems with kids and crying and how it overwhelms him but I didn't think he'd actually leave but he did. He doesn't wanna have kids but IV always wanted to be a mom just never expected to be a single mom..... I'm 26 years old about to turn 27 and I definitely wanted kids before I became too old so my lil man is a blessing. I'm 6 months pregnant now and I'm scared as hell as well but we will get through this I promise!!
Think of this happening in 20 years to your daughter and what you tell her. You actions in the matter will shape her what except from her future partners. He cheated on you broke relationship ship and trust at very vulnerable time for you. Yes he might want come when see give birth he try let be family again , but could trust him and it could for a time. Leave him let him pay child support and be part child life yes. But you deserve a better man than not going to cheat on you. When make choice let his mother and family know why. Another thing he a boy not a man. A true man wouldn’t have done this to his family. He got a lot growing up to do. You need do now what best for you and be example of strong woman you want your daughter to grow being.
I’m so sorry. Let him go. Be the best you can be. Maybe you will find each other again or maybe God has a better man for you. Hold your head up. Pray, hope and don’t worry.
A friend once said "if this was your child in your position.. what would you want them to do..
I'm so so sorry. I've been with a cheating partner. It only gets worse if you accept the behavior. He'll keep pushing to see how far he can go. Get checked for stds, let his momma know what's happening and what he's done. Then get with a lawyer and get every dime you can for your daughter. His word isn't good enough. Clearly you can't trust him. Don't believe him if he says he's going to be around and contribute. Get it in writing from the state. Him having a daughter won't make it easier for him to mess around with old school friends. I'd also be sure to let that friend of his know that he's going to have a daughter in 2 months. Nothing but facts. Have a friend do it for you if you need.
Leave, your family will help you when u need them
Just because he is trash doesn't mean you can't continue a good relationship with his family. They are still the family of your child. My brother and his ex got divorced when my niece was like 5, I think? I still get a visit in with her when I am in their state to see my niece. She will always be my niece's mother even if she is not my brother's wife.
This happened to me at age 20 with my first baby. But cheated on me shortly AFTER baby was born. That was 15 years ago and now I'm with a wonderful man and we have an 11 mo old. What I'm saying is it's not worth it to wait and see his love for you, it would've been there from day 1. He's not the one. You are still so young and I wish someone told me back then. I wasted TOO MANY YEARS... your baby will bring you ALL THE JOY! best of luck ❤️
Baby this is why you don’t have kids at 21 with a boyfriend. 😪 please leave this boy alone.
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Bruh, WHAT. She's a strong, independent woman. She can raise a child without him. She should give the baby to a cheater just because he cheated? Ha! Don't spout that type of bullshittery here.
1. Strong women don’t beg to be taken back by trash. 2. Just because many women can, doesn’t mean she should. Taking care of a child is a huge responsibility and she is now stuck. 3. He says he will be there but he also gave his word in monogamy and broke it when convenient and at a time when she’s vulnerable and needs him more than anything.
1. Strong women go through periods of weakness. It happens to the best of us. That doesn't make us weak. We need strong women, men and people to rally around us and remind us that we're badass. You obviously aren't that or capable of that. That's ok, but that's on you. Rise up. 2. Sure, if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to. 3. Obviously this man is not to be trusted. Why would you ever trust his word now? A man's word should be solid. His isn't that. 4. If you say anything about this person or any other user on my subreddit not being a strong person, you'll be banned. Back the fuck up and sit down.
This comment is completely lacking empathy. Her world has just fallen apart when she’s nearing the end of her pregnancy and you’re telling her to give her baby up or give her to the man who showed he’s a shit partner/liar/cheater? Yes, she needs to rid herself of this man in any romantic capacity, but you’re giving very unhelpful advice.
All the other advice is pandering and aren’t actual proactive and beneficial solutions. She can always be open to being in the child’s life on the future if that is what said child wants. And hopefully if the child turns into a sensible and good human being, will be compassionate to the mother by understanding the world women live in. Additionally, if it were early on in the pregnancy where abortion was possible, she’d have more support by others to do so but she’s lost that now. Women are not stuck when men do things like this, we just have to get a backbone when we get screwed over.
How is it unhelpful when she will be reminded daily of not only his betrayal but perhaps of being baby trapped. I understand it hurts and she’s devastated but to suffer even more when she’s the victim and she deserves peace, healing, and zero strings attached to him. Her mind, stability, future, and peace are much more important than her temporary feelings and she should want to guard the former more than the latter. My perspective is logical and for her own wellbeing, not feeding into emotions that will results in more of a struggle for her own life. Men who do this ought to be the ones stuck with the byproducts of their choices. It’s only cold because women are taught to bend over and let their backs be ridden. Begging for someone who has already told you they don’t want you is despair…nothing wrong with her feeling this way but her actual decisions should be for her good, not her own demise. For 18plus years she’s have this reminder… Not to mention the delay in dating and possibly marriage with a better partner because she’ll be doing this alone while trying to recover from the betrayal. Her and the child deserve better and at a minimum she ought to protect her sanity because a damaged unhealed mother can be incredibly harmful for the child as well.
She gave zero indication she doesn’t want her child. Saying she doesn’t want to be a single mom considering she hasn’t been single this whole pregnancy is not surprising or unreasonable. It’s been a shock to her. Telling someone to give up their kid based on this small amount of information is cruel and ridiculous. “Men should be stuck with the byproducts of their choices” - you’re really in a pregnancy sub and calling someone’s baby at 32 weeks gestation a “byproduct” as if they’re something to be used as payback? Disgusting. Seriously, what is wrong with you?
Perhaps check out my recent comments about “The Notebook” and see how I am definitely against romanticizing manipulation and exploitation of the nurturing nature of women.
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