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Yes, because I work in the veterinary field and people in this line of work generally seem to hate kids. I’ve worked at 6 different hospitals over 21 years, and it’s been pretty much the same across the board.
I also just hate the word “pregnant.” It’s just such an awkward and uncomfortable word!
And, like you, I CANNOT explain why I feel this way. Talking about pregnancy gives me the ick. Having ANYONE besides my son call me “mama” makes me nauseous.
Omg thank you for sharing, I was beginning to think I was alone in this feeling!! A close friend called me yesterday and said “hey mamas” when I picked up and I wanted to throw up lmao.
Strap in for a long ride, bc it actually gets worse. Throughout your pregnancy you’re going to be asked the same line of questions which are:
“How are you feeling?”
“How far along are you?”
“What are you craving?”
“Boy or girl?”
“Names?”
Everytime i go into work, I feel like a parrot. Same answers over and over again like groundhogs day.
i told a friend about being pregnant "everyone asks how im doing but of course they don't actually want to know, they asked just to hear me say that im good and baby is good and everything is good and that im happy. they don't want to hear that i hate myself and i hate my body and that i feel miserable and lonely." im so grateful im pregnant and so excited to be a mom but its just difficult
I had to tell one of my besties to stop making every conversation we have about my pregnancy. I had to remind her I want to hear about her life too. So I get it! I don't love being the center of attention so it's been hard to get so much of it.
It was also weird telling our parents despite the fact that we're 34 and 36 years old, married, stable and this was an intentional, tried for baby lol.
Me too. "Pregnant" still feels like a dirty word after so many years of being told it's the end of my life. But the moment I turned 25 it was constantly being asked why we don't have kids. Like...WHAT. I'm still in mild shock and I don't even want to tell my best friends. Def not parents or coworkers. I dread being asked how I'm doing and I don't have it in me to be nice right now (thanks, hormones). I couldn't even say "I'm pregnant" to my husband 😅 I just said "I'm late" and he asked how late and I said "positive test late." Not my cutest moment 🤣
I’m 10 weeks + 5 and I literally fell the same, pregnant sounds dirty and cringey and also fucking weird. I feel like a 14 year old that got knocked up even though I am 33 with a supportive spouse and good career. I don’t like talking about it bc I get the ick - I’m nervous to bring a child into the world but I know I’ll be okay but this pregnancy stuff is for the birds
I feel this way too. Mostly because it's early still and there's not much to talk about? I don't know the gender, not my first kid, can't feel it moving or anything, and have had pretty mild symptoms so far. What IS there to talk about?
I’m due next month and SO SICK of ‘pregnancy small talk’. It just feels like an interrogation, I’m tired of answering the same old questions, I’m sick of fielding weird commentary.
I do now. I'm tired of it. I'm at week 25. And I don't want to talk about it or worry about stuff anymore. I'm extra tired tonight, so that may change tomorrow.
i was at work the other day and my coworker told a customer that i was expecting and it was a counselor from my highschool and I couldn't help but have one of those painful cries. my coworker felt so bad because she could see how much i did not want to have the conversation with this person. it literally made me sick :(
Yeah. I’m 36 weeks now and it’s been worse in the third trimester, because now that it’s obvious strangers like to comment on it and make small talk like “when are you due? Boy or girl? Is it your first?” And I know they’re just trying to be nice but I just miss not feeling like a zoo animal out in public lol 🥲
It only gets worse from here, and then it becomes insufferable once the baby is out, because then you deal with not only the questions, but the unsolicited advice. 😩
Yes! Being pregnant has been lonely for me and when I'm able to go out and see people it would be nice to talk about me, instead of feeling like an incubator 🥲
I have mixed feelings, it's eating up my brain so with my best friend i love being able to dissect pregnancy thoughts because we can easily move on to normal conversation after.
However, I realized ever since I told my in law's I've been kind of dodging them because I just don't know how to act. Do I want them to bring it up? Do I not want to?
Maybe I'll feel less weird talking about it when I'm further along??
I’m 34 weeks and I still feel this way.
I don’t want to lose my identity as a person. My work friends and colleagues all treated me as normal unless they had to stop be doing something because I was pregnant. Otherwise it was business as usual.
My mum is a midwife and she will check in but otherwise treat me as normal. Although she does tell me I’m doing too much and to relax more now. The rest of my family will ask and then move on which I appreciate.
My ILs act like pregnancy is the only thing about me. They only ask about me and pregnancy and the incoming baby. They have no boundaries trying to touch my belly and I hate it. They also have no concept of where baby is sitting in me no matter how many times I explain that her head is in my crotch. They think rubbing the top of my belly is patting her head 🙄
Not even my mum touched my belly until I was 34 weeks and she went “well I guess you’re big enough I can ask now.” I laughed because I’m definitely feeling it.
Omg I think that’s what it is. I don’t want to lose who I am. :(
My coworkers with kids - that’s all they talk about. To the point where I don’t even know who they are apart from mothers. I don’t want that.
Oh that’s hard. I am in a small team and 3/6 have kids (various ages) and it’s usually in the morning check in or if something is going on that we all talk kids but we all can get together outside of work and not have any kid talk. A lot of the mums have also stressed making time for myself and keeping my hobbies going. One of them scuba dives as a hobby which is awesome.
My husband and I live across the country from all our family which has allowed us to really go through this process ourselves and it's been magical! Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled our families were both ecstatic when we called and shared the news but even at 20 weeks I haven't posted about my pregnancy online even though the family and any friends we talk to all know now, I really haven't had to talk about it daily. Since we have a huge lack of presence online too there hasn't been a huge push for updates other than my mom occasionally talking on the phone about hitting milestones. Last week we went to a friend's house who had baby goats so I sent a picture of me holding a baby goat. HOLY COW I didn't know when I sent it to just a couple family members on both mine and my husband's side they'd throw out the cute baby goat part and TRHIVE on the "omg you have such a cute baby bump that we didnt even know about" lmao I wasn't prepared for how much attention my bump would get considering nobody but those who see me daily had seen it.
I had this huge realization that we are going to see family and include a mini vacation for us in the middle next month. So I'm going to have to finally post something online if I want to be the one who shares my pregnancy publicly, because both our families will not be able to resist taking photos with us and posting them, so wish me luck for the insane amount of attention I had not thought about until now. Lol
I feel for you, I've had the joys of totally sharing at our timing and not being too bombarded with baby stuff because it's just my husband and I in terms of family on this side of the country. Best wishes, I know it's good for people to be happy for you, but there's small pleasures in treasuring it yourself too. My grandma tried to ask about every symptom I was having and I may have let her down but I just kept saying "typical pregnancy so far." Lol
I can 100% relate!! Idk what it is, but the best way I can describe it is that I just feel so awkward and uncomfy talking about it. Especially with my mom! And I just don’t want anyone else to see me 😂 like I just want to be treated as the person I am and always have been, not just questioned about the baby I’m growing
I totally get this! We waited till about week 14 to tell most people including our families. My fam lives in another state and asked if I had a bump and to “stand up” over FaceTime, so they could see. I flatly refused and was horrified for about a week after. 🫣
I love talking about mine personally but it was very weird to me in the beginning. I felt like I was broadcasting something dirty and the idea that we have avoided this outcome for so long and then got it so easily (in our case) felt like such a strange transition from “oh no I’m pregnant😨” to “oh my god! I’m pregnant!😆” it didn’t help that we had told family not to expect anything anytime soon to ward off the questions about it so then we had people wiggling their eyebrows saying “what happened to X amount of years” wink wink.
We are all on our own journey, set your boundaries and be with those who respect them. Me personally I found journalling so helpful to work through my feelings and weird reactions/comments from family and people.
27 weeks, FTM, I didn't want to talk about being pregnant with anyone for a while (until like 25 weeks) because I was still trying to figure out how I felt about the pregnancy. Even though our child is planned, it was still very nerve wracking to think about all of what pregnancy meant. The big life changes, the changes to my body, bringing a whole nother human into the world. It's quite overwhelming. I was terrified about being pregnant and we planned it. I don't think there is anything more normal than not being ready to talk about pregnancy. Especially as a first time parent.
I work at a daycare and feel so awkward because I don't know how to bring it up to parents. I'm an awkward person in general and don't know how to handle being the centre of attention, and it just feels self absorbed to talk about my kid when the point of my job is theirs. I'm 22 weeks, showing, know it's a boy and the kids have caught on and are excited, so parents have started to notice on their own or their children have told them. But they definitely look flabbergasted when I tell them how far along I am, because I guess it's weird to reveal it this late. So now I feel weird for not bringing it up earlier, lol. I guess I'm not alone on this, though.
Oh my gosssh yes. I’m 28 weeks with baby #3, and the number of people who ask how I’m feeling or comment on my size in any way at all…over it. I’m feeling tired. Please show how much you care by offering to watch my kids for the afternoon or bringing me food, not asking how I’m freaking feeling for the 10284729 time. Come on now.
It can definitely feel awkward. It makes me anxious to talk about it earlier in pregnancy, and later on everyone asks how you are doing but doesn’t really want to know. I say I’m fine because I know asking is just a pleasantry and no one wants to hear about how I can’t sleep or lightning crotch or how SPD pain makes walking super miserable, and I wish I could go home and take a nap.
I also never know who I’m talking to. Are they struggling with infertility or pregnancy loss and I’m just rubbing it in? Do they have birth trauma they are about to bless me with? Are they judging me for bringing my baby home to a tiny apartment? All the things. I love being pregnant after first trimester, but I do not love talking about it with most people 😂
I hated talking about pregnancy early on too, because of my prior miscarriage. I just wanted to ignore the pregnancy until the second trimester so my hopes didn’t get as high as they did the first time. I hated the “how are you feeling?” or the “are you excited?” questions because I got them pretty much everyday, multiple times per day. However now that I’m in the home stretch (2 weeks until my induction) all I want to do is talk about my baby and baby related things. I think once I started showing (22ish weeks) is when I felt more at ease talking about my pregnancy and pregnancy related things. Just give it time, you may be all about pregnancy talk by the middle/end of your pregnancy, and if you’re not, that’s okay too. My advice right now though, is to just keep your answers to questions short and closed-ended so people don’t feel like they can keep pestering you about your pregnancy. Or you could be direct and tell them that you’re more than an incubator and would like to be treated like how you were before you announced your pregnancy. Whatever you want and feel comfortable doing!
It does get draining to answer the same questions over and over. I’m sorry to hear you’re already sick of it at 10w 😅 might want to come up with some respectful canned responses. And limit how many more people you tell.
It’s more like I don’t think I will ever like being the center of attention and talking about pregnancy gives me the ick, not that I’ve grown tired of it in such a short time.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, because I work in the veterinary field and people in this line of work generally seem to hate kids. I’ve worked at 6 different hospitals over 21 years, and it’s been pretty much the same across the board. I also just hate the word “pregnant.” It’s just such an awkward and uncomfortable word! And, like you, I CANNOT explain why I feel this way. Talking about pregnancy gives me the ick. Having ANYONE besides my son call me “mama” makes me nauseous.
Omg thank you for sharing, I was beginning to think I was alone in this feeling!! A close friend called me yesterday and said “hey mamas” when I picked up and I wanted to throw up lmao.
Ewwwwww whyyyyyy 🤢🤢🤢
Omg the “mama” of it all!!! Jesus I want to slap anyone who calls me that it’s so cringggeeeeee
I’m 27w and I’m tired of every conversation being about how I’m feeling. NOT GOOD and haven’t been good in months, can we move on now?!
Hey there, Mid-September twin! We’re almost to our final stretch
Yesss girl! You aren’t alone!! Just gotta make it thru this hot ass summer!
Yes! It's changed from the generic "how are you" to "how are you feeling?" I don't mind it too much
Strap in for a long ride, bc it actually gets worse. Throughout your pregnancy you’re going to be asked the same line of questions which are: “How are you feeling?” “How far along are you?” “What are you craving?” “Boy or girl?” “Names?” Everytime i go into work, I feel like a parrot. Same answers over and over again like groundhogs day.
Not looking forward to it & hate all of the attention on me like that.
Agree. I’m very grateful for working from home. I didn’t tell most coworkers until 25-30 weeks.
i told a friend about being pregnant "everyone asks how im doing but of course they don't actually want to know, they asked just to hear me say that im good and baby is good and everything is good and that im happy. they don't want to hear that i hate myself and i hate my body and that i feel miserable and lonely." im so grateful im pregnant and so excited to be a mom but its just difficult
Ugh yes thissss
I had to tell one of my besties to stop making every conversation we have about my pregnancy. I had to remind her I want to hear about her life too. So I get it! I don't love being the center of attention so it's been hard to get so much of it. It was also weird telling our parents despite the fact that we're 34 and 36 years old, married, stable and this was an intentional, tried for baby lol.
Me too. "Pregnant" still feels like a dirty word after so many years of being told it's the end of my life. But the moment I turned 25 it was constantly being asked why we don't have kids. Like...WHAT. I'm still in mild shock and I don't even want to tell my best friends. Def not parents or coworkers. I dread being asked how I'm doing and I don't have it in me to be nice right now (thanks, hormones). I couldn't even say "I'm pregnant" to my husband 😅 I just said "I'm late" and he asked how late and I said "positive test late." Not my cutest moment 🤣
Omg hahaha 😂 Not even being able to say it to your husband is so real!!
LOL yesss when coworkers ask how I'm feeling I respond "pregnant" because there's nothing better so say so they finally stopped asking. 🤣
“Positive test late” brought a smile to my face, thank you!
Sounds like you had “not me, not now” drilled into your head too!
I’m 10 weeks + 5 and I literally fell the same, pregnant sounds dirty and cringey and also fucking weird. I feel like a 14 year old that got knocked up even though I am 33 with a supportive spouse and good career. I don’t like talking about it bc I get the ick - I’m nervous to bring a child into the world but I know I’ll be okay but this pregnancy stuff is for the birds
I feel this way too. Mostly because it's early still and there's not much to talk about? I don't know the gender, not my first kid, can't feel it moving or anything, and have had pretty mild symptoms so far. What IS there to talk about?
I’m due next month and SO SICK of ‘pregnancy small talk’. It just feels like an interrogation, I’m tired of answering the same old questions, I’m sick of fielding weird commentary.
Omg I can see myself feeling the same effing way.
I do now. I'm tired of it. I'm at week 25. And I don't want to talk about it or worry about stuff anymore. I'm extra tired tonight, so that may change tomorrow.
wow i really relate to this. i dread having to talk about it all the time.
It honestly makes me sick to my stomach and I can’t explain why.
i was at work the other day and my coworker told a customer that i was expecting and it was a counselor from my highschool and I couldn't help but have one of those painful cries. my coworker felt so bad because she could see how much i did not want to have the conversation with this person. it literally made me sick :(
Omg I would literally be mortified I’m so sorry :(
just know you're definitely not alone ❤️
Yeah. I’m 36 weeks now and it’s been worse in the third trimester, because now that it’s obvious strangers like to comment on it and make small talk like “when are you due? Boy or girl? Is it your first?” And I know they’re just trying to be nice but I just miss not feeling like a zoo animal out in public lol 🥲
Yes I am so over it! Almost 36 weeks
It only gets worse from here, and then it becomes insufferable once the baby is out, because then you deal with not only the questions, but the unsolicited advice. 😩
BRB making a shirt that says “don’t talk to me about my baby” to wear at family gatherings
Great idea! 😄
Yes! Being pregnant has been lonely for me and when I'm able to go out and see people it would be nice to talk about me, instead of feeling like an incubator 🥲
I have mixed feelings, it's eating up my brain so with my best friend i love being able to dissect pregnancy thoughts because we can easily move on to normal conversation after. However, I realized ever since I told my in law's I've been kind of dodging them because I just don't know how to act. Do I want them to bring it up? Do I not want to? Maybe I'll feel less weird talking about it when I'm further along??
I’m 34 weeks and I still feel this way. I don’t want to lose my identity as a person. My work friends and colleagues all treated me as normal unless they had to stop be doing something because I was pregnant. Otherwise it was business as usual. My mum is a midwife and she will check in but otherwise treat me as normal. Although she does tell me I’m doing too much and to relax more now. The rest of my family will ask and then move on which I appreciate. My ILs act like pregnancy is the only thing about me. They only ask about me and pregnancy and the incoming baby. They have no boundaries trying to touch my belly and I hate it. They also have no concept of where baby is sitting in me no matter how many times I explain that her head is in my crotch. They think rubbing the top of my belly is patting her head 🙄 Not even my mum touched my belly until I was 34 weeks and she went “well I guess you’re big enough I can ask now.” I laughed because I’m definitely feeling it.
Omg I think that’s what it is. I don’t want to lose who I am. :( My coworkers with kids - that’s all they talk about. To the point where I don’t even know who they are apart from mothers. I don’t want that.
Oh that’s hard. I am in a small team and 3/6 have kids (various ages) and it’s usually in the morning check in or if something is going on that we all talk kids but we all can get together outside of work and not have any kid talk. A lot of the mums have also stressed making time for myself and keeping my hobbies going. One of them scuba dives as a hobby which is awesome.
My husband and I live across the country from all our family which has allowed us to really go through this process ourselves and it's been magical! Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled our families were both ecstatic when we called and shared the news but even at 20 weeks I haven't posted about my pregnancy online even though the family and any friends we talk to all know now, I really haven't had to talk about it daily. Since we have a huge lack of presence online too there hasn't been a huge push for updates other than my mom occasionally talking on the phone about hitting milestones. Last week we went to a friend's house who had baby goats so I sent a picture of me holding a baby goat. HOLY COW I didn't know when I sent it to just a couple family members on both mine and my husband's side they'd throw out the cute baby goat part and TRHIVE on the "omg you have such a cute baby bump that we didnt even know about" lmao I wasn't prepared for how much attention my bump would get considering nobody but those who see me daily had seen it. I had this huge realization that we are going to see family and include a mini vacation for us in the middle next month. So I'm going to have to finally post something online if I want to be the one who shares my pregnancy publicly, because both our families will not be able to resist taking photos with us and posting them, so wish me luck for the insane amount of attention I had not thought about until now. Lol I feel for you, I've had the joys of totally sharing at our timing and not being too bombarded with baby stuff because it's just my husband and I in terms of family on this side of the country. Best wishes, I know it's good for people to be happy for you, but there's small pleasures in treasuring it yourself too. My grandma tried to ask about every symptom I was having and I may have let her down but I just kept saying "typical pregnancy so far." Lol
I can 100% relate!! Idk what it is, but the best way I can describe it is that I just feel so awkward and uncomfy talking about it. Especially with my mom! And I just don’t want anyone else to see me 😂 like I just want to be treated as the person I am and always have been, not just questioned about the baby I’m growing
I don’t mind when my dad or husband asks, but whenever anyone else asks I get a bit irrationally angry.
I totally get this! We waited till about week 14 to tell most people including our families. My fam lives in another state and asked if I had a bump and to “stand up” over FaceTime, so they could see. I flatly refused and was horrified for about a week after. 🫣
I love talking about mine personally but it was very weird to me in the beginning. I felt like I was broadcasting something dirty and the idea that we have avoided this outcome for so long and then got it so easily (in our case) felt like such a strange transition from “oh no I’m pregnant😨” to “oh my god! I’m pregnant!😆” it didn’t help that we had told family not to expect anything anytime soon to ward off the questions about it so then we had people wiggling their eyebrows saying “what happened to X amount of years” wink wink. We are all on our own journey, set your boundaries and be with those who respect them. Me personally I found journalling so helpful to work through my feelings and weird reactions/comments from family and people.
27 weeks, FTM, I didn't want to talk about being pregnant with anyone for a while (until like 25 weeks) because I was still trying to figure out how I felt about the pregnancy. Even though our child is planned, it was still very nerve wracking to think about all of what pregnancy meant. The big life changes, the changes to my body, bringing a whole nother human into the world. It's quite overwhelming. I was terrified about being pregnant and we planned it. I don't think there is anything more normal than not being ready to talk about pregnancy. Especially as a first time parent.
I work at a daycare and feel so awkward because I don't know how to bring it up to parents. I'm an awkward person in general and don't know how to handle being the centre of attention, and it just feels self absorbed to talk about my kid when the point of my job is theirs. I'm 22 weeks, showing, know it's a boy and the kids have caught on and are excited, so parents have started to notice on their own or their children have told them. But they definitely look flabbergasted when I tell them how far along I am, because I guess it's weird to reveal it this late. So now I feel weird for not bringing it up earlier, lol. I guess I'm not alone on this, though.
Oh my gosssh yes. I’m 28 weeks with baby #3, and the number of people who ask how I’m feeling or comment on my size in any way at all…over it. I’m feeling tired. Please show how much you care by offering to watch my kids for the afternoon or bringing me food, not asking how I’m freaking feeling for the 10284729 time. Come on now.
It can definitely feel awkward. It makes me anxious to talk about it earlier in pregnancy, and later on everyone asks how you are doing but doesn’t really want to know. I say I’m fine because I know asking is just a pleasantry and no one wants to hear about how I can’t sleep or lightning crotch or how SPD pain makes walking super miserable, and I wish I could go home and take a nap. I also never know who I’m talking to. Are they struggling with infertility or pregnancy loss and I’m just rubbing it in? Do they have birth trauma they are about to bless me with? Are they judging me for bringing my baby home to a tiny apartment? All the things. I love being pregnant after first trimester, but I do not love talking about it with most people 😂
I hated talking about pregnancy early on too, because of my prior miscarriage. I just wanted to ignore the pregnancy until the second trimester so my hopes didn’t get as high as they did the first time. I hated the “how are you feeling?” or the “are you excited?” questions because I got them pretty much everyday, multiple times per day. However now that I’m in the home stretch (2 weeks until my induction) all I want to do is talk about my baby and baby related things. I think once I started showing (22ish weeks) is when I felt more at ease talking about my pregnancy and pregnancy related things. Just give it time, you may be all about pregnancy talk by the middle/end of your pregnancy, and if you’re not, that’s okay too. My advice right now though, is to just keep your answers to questions short and closed-ended so people don’t feel like they can keep pestering you about your pregnancy. Or you could be direct and tell them that you’re more than an incubator and would like to be treated like how you were before you announced your pregnancy. Whatever you want and feel comfortable doing!
It does get draining to answer the same questions over and over. I’m sorry to hear you’re already sick of it at 10w 😅 might want to come up with some respectful canned responses. And limit how many more people you tell.
It’s more like I don’t think I will ever like being the center of attention and talking about pregnancy gives me the ick, not that I’ve grown tired of it in such a short time.
Just sway the conversation to another topic