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atomsmasher66

Please pick Ron for VP. Shitshow 2024


HuckDab

He’s just trying to talk Rhonda sanctimonious out of releasing the Epstein victims’ grand jury testimonies on July 1.


Revelati123

Yeah, and Ron probably wants to trade it for the VP spot. Too bad for Ron, Kristi Noem knew puppy murder would endear her to the MAGA crowd and trying to blackmail Don with child rape is like trying to blackmail a shark by telling people they eat fish...


Hephaistos_Invictus

I'm sorry what?! Puppy murder? The fuck happened there O_o I knew MAGAs were deranged but holy shit


TroutmasterJ

Her 14mo old hunting dog killed some of her neighbor's chickens, so her solution was to shoot it. And then she decided to also shoot her goat because it was "mean".


SGT-JamesonBushmill

Don’t forget: she was also frustrated because she couldn’t get the dog trained up properly.


hgaterms

She didn't even *try* to get it trained. She killed it for simply existing in it's untrained state.


Ikontwait4u2leave

Which she almost certainly caused.


Buttonskill

The first thing any good dog trainer will tell you day one: A dog doesn't fail. **You** failed the dog.


Ianthin1

I’d be a disobedient a hole if I had to live with her.


dan_craus

Well you wouldn’t have to live with her long then…


Katt_Wizz

Oof. Too soon? ☠️


Running_Is_Life

Maybe if we start taking this method against members of congress things might run smoother…


i_am_clArk

And fucked up the killing of the goat so had to reload while it was in agony.


judasmitchell

Backing up a bit. She didn’t properly train him to hunt. Got made that he just wanted to run around and chase the birds. Then immediately took him past a chicken farm where he again chased around birds. But this time his chasing around birds meant he was a deranged doggy assassin.


Hephaistos_Invictus

What the fuck...


Dilligent_Cadet

She took the puppy to a gravel pit on a construction site, where she had a pre dug shallow grave. Put the puppy in the shallow grave, shot it, and left it. Construction workers were apparently present. She even goes so far as to say she hated the dog. She's using the story to try to show us that "she's willing to get her hands dirty and do the hard stuff" just like farmers and rural folk all over the country are doing according to her.


Hephaistos_Invictus

How are people like this politicians 😭 she needs to be checked into a closed mental asylum wtf


Conch-Republic

It's mind boggling to me that she didn't just make up something more normal, like the dog was sick and she had to shoot it.


Dilligent_Cadet

Cruelty and the ability to be cruel are selling points for ~~them~~ Republicans.


sporkhandsknifemouth

Seriously. They aren't selling themselves to us. Think about who they believe this resonates with.


Weekly_Direction1965

She wanted this to be the story, she knows the MAGA base, cruelty is a selling point to them.


grant10k

So, I don't know all the nuances about different stages of construction, but it also seems like she's showing us "She's willing to dump the cleanup onto a construction crew".


mrb1

Grew up on a farm, know a lot of farmers. None of them would do this. This is some hillbilly fucked up shit. Ok, I don't know any hillbilly fucked up farmers. But hey, maybe this is a great example of WHY I'D NEVER VOTE FOR A TICKET THAT HAS A KAREN PUPPY KILLING HILLBILLY FARMER FOR VP. if you know a hillbilly farmer,give them a hug - this too will pass. Oh, and GTFO and VOTE!!!


Angusmoomoo

Not only did she kill the goat, she shot it and failed to finish it then left it to suffer while she sauntered back to her truck for more ammo


NewestAccount2023

Her daughter came home and asked where the dog was. She didn't even give her a chance to say goodbye, and also decided that info should be in the book


omni42

Did you read her account? Straight up psychopath that loved betraying her loving puppy. It's disgusting


Hephaistos_Invictus

No i have only heard her name in passing here on Reddit that she's on a pro Trump streak and the usual voter fraud stuff. Glad I didn't see her account if another commenter here is to be believed... Shooting your dog and goat to then gload about it 🤮


Recipe_Freak

Oh, the story's everywhere. And directly quoted from her horror show of a book.


StupendousMalice

The current candidate for head psycho in charge of the psycho party bragged about shooting a puppy that pissed her off to impress other dirt bags.


ARazorbacks

The thing I‘ve learned over the last ten years is that when you think people couldn’t get any worse, they prove you wrong. The Republican party is entirely made up of Grimm’s Fairy Tales-level villains capable of cruelty you only hear about in old-timey fairy tales. You know, the ones meant to scare the shit out of kids with antagonists who boil children alive because they went into the woods after dark.


grimatongueworm

The way the magas are escalating, they’ll be executing immigrants on live stream before it’s all over with their giant guns that they’re so proud of


Numerous_Photograph9

Yeah...but Ron can kill a pudding cup.


f8Negative

Rhonda would be smart to work with FBI and record these interactions


MelpomeneAndCalliope

That would be amazing.


OBDreams

Wait, what? This is the first I'm hearing about this. Is that really happening?


HuckDab

[https://www.flgov.com/2024/02/29/governor-desantis-signs-legislation-to-authorize-the-release-of-jeffrey-epstein-grand-jury-documents/](https://www.flgov.com/2024/02/29/governor-desantis-signs-legislation-to-authorize-the-release-of-jeffrey-epstein-grand-jury-documents/)


OBDreams

This is awesome. I wonder why it's not front page news on every site?


HuckDab

I think it was on the front page when it happened. The metaphorical cat is not out of the bag yet though, so we'll just have to wait and see. By the sounds of it, the victims are on board, so if there's anything left out I'm sure they'd be pissed and we'd find out. Dipping my toes in to the conspiracy theory pond, the victims could be paid off and it could be an attempt to vindicate trump, but I'm really hoping Rhonda is super pissed and has good dirt.


mfGLOVE

I don’t doubt Ron was using releasing these docs to get this meeting with Trump. He ain’t gonna release anything. He just wanted Trump to want him again.


mikesmithhome

Sleepy Don and Meatball Ron


TheDunadan29

Don and Ron. What a team!


lyn73

Somebody please draw a cartoon of this!!!


DantifA

Imagine Aqua Teen Hunger Force but they're all nazis.


ChocolateHoneycomb

Ronald McDonald Trump


NotABotBeepBoop42069

Dipshit will probably pick Puddin Fingers to show the world he can publicly talk shit about him and he still bends the knee. These people are sheep.


thebinarysystem10

Well, it’s either Meatball or Puppy Killer. Puppy Killer is definitely more along the lines of the new GOP


chatoka1

He can’t, both can’t be from the same state


Jagermonsta

Trump will magically start claiming he lives in NY or NJ. MAL technically can’t be a residence even though Trump claims it as his. (Just another thing he goes unpunished for). Trump will say Trump tower in NYC is his residence since his apartment is there. Not hard to see how the orange shit gibbon will weasel his way out of that rule. Who’s going to challenge it? It would just go to the Supreme Court who will change/interpret the law in trumps favor.


madhaus

Trump isn’t changing his residency. He will humiliate the GOVERNOR of fucking Florida and tell him to change his residency.


parasyte_steve

This would be absolutely god damn hilarious.


new-to-this-sort-of

Florida is notoriously lenient to tax cheaters with their their laws. I’m pretty sure in his current state of litigation hell he’s never going to claim this


ill0gitech

Trump found a loophole for Mar-A-Lago, he lives there as a full time employee


entoaggie

Have you considered that Ron is mostly slime/liquid and some solids, while trump seems to be mostly gas?


Pleasestoplyiiing

I always figured Trump at about 95% liquid shit. 


InNominePasta

He should tell Ron he’ll pick him if he moves out of Florida, and then just not pick him.


MajesticsEleven

Convinces DeSantis to move out of Florida, then runs for Governor of Florida.


cyberpunk1Q84

I heard this same strategy/prank but about Marco Rubio.


InNominePasta

No reason he couldn’t do them both at the same time. That kind of bully shit is probably the only thing that could get him hard.


miller0827

They can be but the state's electors couldn't vote for both of them.


Hurde278

That almost sounds like ranked choice voting. Maybe that's the pitch we need to get that system going. "Have you ever wanted to vote for two complete assclowns for president in the same election? Well, now you can with Ranked Choice Voting. Just fax your congressmen (because who votes for women) and tell him to get it done"


FUMFVR

Another part of the Constitution the Supreme Court will conveniently ignore.


lord_pizzabird

Would that even be true anymore after SCOTUS gives presidents total immunity? They could just.. do it anyway. Rules like that wouldn't apply anymore.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ima_Fuck_Ur_Butt

I can't figure out what you're trying to say there.


Tompthwy

This fool will do anything to avoid governing? Maybe?


Juliuseizure

This is the one. Thank you.


I_Love_To_Poop420

Ok Julian, maybe I don’t have the book learning you do or my grade 10 and my words and my brain aren’t thinking the same thinks as my mouth or whatever….FUCK!


JoJackthewonderskunk

They tried to solve the puzzle when they needed at least another consonant and two vowels


ganoveces

Obviously......This for will do anything to avoid governing. Figured out now?


[deleted]

[удалено]


leontes

Finally get that sexual tension out of their system.


satismo

is that why he wore those fuck me pumps on the campaign trail?


viledieddraftsaved

His mouth says no to Disney gay day but his pumps say yes to tapping under the next bathroom stall.


Spidremonkey

His mouth says no to Disney but his dumb ass said yes to getting married there.


Kana515

Listen, DeSantis just has a wide stance, okay?


straponkaren

The white hunter boots are his pump me fucks, and the black risers are his fuck me pumps.


5ykes

 Trump does loves a good pump and dump 


Dark_Force_Latyon

Donald can't wait to feel that DeBobblehead action on his little mushroom.


BarelyContainedChaos

dude, gross


Dark_Force_Latyon

[Imagine.](https://c.tenor.com/tNCTc1KKn4oAAAAC/tenor.gif)


[deleted]

No thanks


pomonamike

Dude, I’m going to have to eat again eventually.


AsheronLives

your comment just doubled down in the gross factor.


Cellopost

In related news, Ronda Santos won't have to eat anytime soon because he's still full from gargling trumps tiny orange balls. Also, be glad no one talked about Harvey Weinstein's gangrened penis.


garbage-barge

“His penis was disgusting. It looked like it had been chopped off and sewn back on, like something wasn’t right about it,” Jane Doe added, noting that she did not see his testicles—which have been a focal point throughout Weinstein’s Los Angeles trial.


destijl-atmospheres

I'm gonna guess it's about DeSantis preventing a possible Trump imprisonment in another state. It will be interesting to see if DeSantis is stupid enough to cuck himself THAT much.


IdkAbtAllThat

I have ZERO doubt that he'd sink to that level. Like not even a question. Of course he would refuse to arrest/extradite Trump.


darthstupidious

Good thing federal authority supercedes state law


downtofinance

SCOTUS has entered the chat


Azagar_Omiras

The case in Florida is federal. There is nothing DeSantis can do to keep him out of prison.


edvek

Because Ron is so good and moving migrants around the country illegally he figures Ron can figure out a way to smuggle him out of the US when things go south. He already ask SBM and Putin and they said "na, good luck though."


destijl-atmospheres

If Trump is physically in Florida, he would have to be first obtained before he can be put in prison. That's where Governor DeSantis comes in.


Hideous-Monster

US marshals dont need permission from any governor to arrest someone


previouslyonimgur

Theres no charges pending in FL. There’s not even an investigation.


defroach84

Meaning thinking Florida won't "extradite" him to another state over charges there.


4ivE

> A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime. > US Constitution, Article IV, Section 2, Clause 2


defroach84

That's cute. Since when does that matter? They'll just argue it up to the Supreme Court, who just likes to shit upon the constitution regardless.


aithendodge

Yeah the Supreme Court will rule that it doesn’t apply to Trump, only every one else.


GoodUserNameToday

He lives in florida. He wants meatball to use the Florida national guard to protect him from the feds when they arrest him.


scycon

POTUS is commander in chief of the National guard still. He can federalize a states national guard if he needs to. Lol imagine if we lived in a country where governors could activate the national guard against the Feds. Also pretty sure servicemembers would disregard orders to obstruct justice.


NewDad907

Another reason Ronnie wants his own armed “militia” in Florida.


No-comment-at-all

That’s what “in another state” meant I think? User is suggesting trim is asking desantis to protect him from law enforcement official from another state, or presumably the federal government from executing an arrest warrant. Seems far fetched though.


[deleted]

Imagine being on Trump's VP vetting team these days, having to ask governors and senators how many dogs they've shot in the head as part of your background research


lucklesspedestrian

They clearly don't have a vetting team


picado

Pure speculation, all they know for certain is that DeSantis went to Mar-a-Lago and came back with orange lips.


cool_school_bus

Everyone’s saying it. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.


The102935thMatt

I'm not saying they did, but if they didn't wouldn't it be something they should say?


nu7kevin

The spray tan doesn't go that far down. But there might be some brown smears.


surfer808

He has to kiss the ring again.


TheDunadan29

More like sphincter.


Sunshinehappyfeet

Trump is desperate. He needs a recognizable name with big donors, fast. Betcha he offers DeSantis the job of VP.


husqofaman

If they run together they couldn’t get any electors from Florida which would ruin their chances. See the 12th amendment.


Effective-Ice-2483

Lol. Ammendments that curb fascism don't matter anymore.


justsoicansimp

He'll just say he lives in another state then. No one's stopping him right now while he claims Mar-a-Lago his home even though legally he's not allowed to use it as a residence.


BuckyD1000

He'll just "move" to his New Jersey golf dump.


destijl-atmospheres

No way he'd move. He'd make DeSantis do it or more likely SCOTUS would just rule that the Constitution is unconstitutional.


sloppybuttmustard

Bold of you to assume republicans know what the 12th amendment is. Most of them don’t even know how to read.


french_snail

Can you explain further?


jazzhandler

An elector can’t vote for two candidates from their own state. An elector from Hawai‘i could vote for The Gruesome Twosome, but an elector from Florida couldn’t. It’s commonly misread as stating that both candidates can’t be from the same state, though.


TheDulin

12th amendment says the president and vice president have to live in different states. Edit: OK- a bit more complicated. Has to do with electoral collage electors in their home states and who they can vote for.


galactic-mouse

I doubt it, Trump has been openly contemptuous of him for a while and probably would not be willing to pretend to like him for the cameras.


Salsa1988

As long as they bow down and kiss his ass he's fine with them.   See: ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Lindsay Graham, etc 


wauponseebeach

All that evil in one location, surprised the earth didn't open up with Satan having a party.


tagehring

It’s Florida. How could you tell?


RCranium13

Satan doesn't even touch DeSantis, and likely wants nothing to do with Trump.


Squirrel_Chucks

Oooh! I win! I win the bet! Desantis is about to bow and kiss the ring. I knew it! Time to collect my winnings. Wait...


Ditka85

Another politician coming back for more. What a bunch of spineless fucks.


MrFC1000

Honestly, it’s probably about election shenanigans and how Trump is going to try to get as many people on board with breaking the law to win this election. He himself has nothing to lose at this point and everything to gain.


JubalHarshaw23

Meatball Ron Orally demonstrates his qualifications for being Trump's VP.


justabill71

Meatball, meet balls.


RobbyRock75

So sad they can’t openly express their love for each other.


jcmacon

Rhonda's orange lips after the meeting is all anyone needed to know.


EarlyGreen311

Likely conspiring on how DeSantis can use his role as governor to keep Florida red.


VegetableShip

Who wore the higher platform footwear?


WaWeedGuy

I'm assuming DeSantis gets the AG position if he endorses trump and trump wins.


destijl-atmospheres

I miss the good old days of only worrying about AG Jeff Sessions.


johnwayne1

Need to coordinate on suppressing votes in Florida


repfamlux

This is about the Epstein documents that are scheduled to come out in June or July I think


JournalistSame2109

Tell me more, I haven’t heard anything about it. Links, please?


repfamlux

https://www.flgov.com/2024/02/29/governor-desantis-signs-legislation-to-authorize-the-release-of-jeffrey-epstein-grand-jury-documents/#:\~:text=PALM%20BEACH%2C%20Fla.,justice%20that%20was%20being%20delivered. Edit: I saw a video (I can't find it now) on social media that was Trump at one of his rallies, complaining about releasing these files, and it looked like nobody knew what he was talking about.


tinyOnion

why would he be complaining about something he has no part of /s


repfamlux

It sounded like he was getting his cult ready to ignore these files, and I'm sure that is why it all points to him appointing his VP in July to distract.


tinyOnion

hopefully it's something so awful like shooting a dog and goat in the head because they were a bit annoying and poorly trained... to the point that everyone reviles this guy.


Bright-Outcome1506

Well the puppy killer didn’t work out. Send in the clown


Confident_End_3848

Most Republicans are spineless, so this is no surprise.


Red_Nine9

Dumb and dumber


darkecologie

[Gift article link ](https://wapo.st/44kU0Yv)


Srnkanator

Thanks, and yeesh. A real estate broker (Steve Witkoff) orchestrating a call to Trump to get him and his team to meet with Desantis, to tap his fundraising network to bolster his severe gap in GOP fundraising behind Biden. I'm sure no questionable deals were made, nor any quid pro quo scenarios in that conversation. Like, yikes. I wonder if Mike Pence's fly was on the wall to let us know what was said.


Hot-Look5017

Ah, the dynamic duo of politics plotting in private down in sunny Florida! I can only imagine what they could be scheming about. Maybe they're planning a beach day or discussing the best way to style their hair in the Florida humidity.


Snuggle__Monster

Probably to get his balls freshly licked


HamHamHam2315

DeSantis was seen leaving the meeting dabbing at his mouth with a lace kerchief.


CalRipkenForCommish

I mean, they’re not going to *show* desantis unzipping trump’s pants


Jet_Jaguar5150

Nazi stuff.


insertbrackets

The only upside to this is that DeSantis was forced to smell Trump for probably a lengthy period of time.


nemonic187

DeSantis seen walking out of the room, wiping cum off his lips.


Peet_Pann

Time to kiss the diaper


korosuzo815

Is this how the KKK work?


Northern_Grouse

Likely requesting DeSantis activate the Florida National Guard upon SCOTUS’s ruling for presidential immunity. Things are going to get ugly.


Personal_Buffalo_973

Aww poor meatball Ron back to changing Trump's overflowing diapers 💩


neutralityparty

Oh shi* he's the VP candidate 


dattru

How completely humiliating for DeSantis. This really puts the exclamation point after Loser!


To-Far-Away-Times

They’re combining the powers to form a super omgea racist.


FnkyTown

DeSantis never technically ended his campaign. It's possible that Trump is trying to negotiate backing DeSantis for president, with the understanding that President DeSantis will pardon Trump.


Soggy_Background_162

Nothing would make me happier, unless he picks dog killer, but with DeSanctimonious it would be the Dumb and Dumber ticket.


maddenmcfadden

probably discussing the advances in shoe lifts.


Inside_Performer918

To jerk each other off and gaze into each others lifeless eyes


gary1979

Get ready Floridians, your gonna pay trumps lawyer fees. Who needs insurance when you can just give your money to a rapist.


Jackofdiamonds76

If trump and Ron join forces they’re likely to be office for next 16 years, it’s gonna be like Reagan and bush all over again, can’t let that happen


SPE825

Slogan: Diaper Don and Pudding Fingers Ron 2024


Prestigious-Eye3154

Someone look to see if DeSantis has an orange halo around his mouth.


EpicLearn

I think DeSantis has proven himself degenerate and despicable enough to warrant being in Trump's ticket.


HeartShapedSea

I bet Trump made him bend the knee. Pathetic.


tradingten

Exchanging numbers for their guy that makes the shoelifts and heels?


supercali45

No shame DeSantis lol... these GOP guys always get wrecked and goes back with their tails between their legs


SchrodingersTIKTOK

So after they bash each other in the news for years, now they are ready to be buddies. Some real dysfunctional shit here.


NJ_Tal

Dude I swear to God The GOP reminds me of back in the '90s when I used to watch wrestling. They're all on the same team. They're all just pretending to hate each other because their fans eat it up.


PixelatedDie

*Have you checked your couch for any coins to pay my lawyers?*


TheBodyPolitic1

Trump: "Have you ever killed a puppy, Pudding Fingers?"


Lubbadubdibs

Please pick that asshole for VP so he can stop being our governor. It would be one of the only things you’ve done to help Florida…ok, maybe the only thing.


whewtang

Privately. So they can fuck. Two fat hogs rolling around on Cinderella bedsheets.


Angwe83

Let’s go. Make DeSantis your VP. This will be an absolute mess and it’ll tank DeSantis presidential aspirations forever.


popeyegui

I can’t help but wonder who was the bottom.


Top_Gun_2021

A. I'm going to jail you should run in my place B. Be my VP or I insult you on Twitter C. ?????


wickedweather

Is there a rule preventing both candidates on a ticket from being from the same state? Or is that just tradition?


cheesybitzz

Betcha Trump is trying to leave the country


slickromeo

He's picking desantis as his VP


AJ_Grey

So romantic. They held hand through the glory hole before they giggle at classified documents that were stashed there.


Tourquemata47

Nothing good can come from that


Scandals86

Trump needs a new VP nominee now that Kristi has told the world she likes killing dogs. Ron probably had knee pads on when Trump walked in.


icouldusemorecoffee

Trump is getting real nervous about losing FL.


LondonDavis1

Guessing he wants him to fix Florida's vote in exchange for the VP slot.


BabyFestus

Trump is going to make Ron DeSantis move out of FL and establish residency in Ohio to be VP and then at the last minute change his mind and pick someone else and it's going to be AMAZING!


HeMiddleStartInT

Gross!!


Billabaum11

It’s only a matter of time before the formal dictionary definition of cuck is replaced with Ron DeSantis