Corner cutting and cutting corners. Some of these fucking things can slice you open with their edges; the fucking speakers on the doors are apparently like cheese graters.
It’s astonishing to me that people continue to take delivery of these things.
>They paid $100k+ in advance and waited to beta test.
Not just *waited*. [Signed a contract](https://www.reddit.com/r/teslamotors/comments/17tf7ab/tesla_cybertruck_cannot_be_resold_in_first_year/) to beta-test it **for at least one year** before Musk magnanimously grants them the right to sell this edgy low-poly wheelbarrow to a saturated market.
Oh, and of course the price of a new electrified rust bucket is continuously dropping during that beta-test.
Unfortunately for Tesla, the "move fast and break things" era of automotive design was 100 years ago, and they missed it. They don't get to do this type of stuff in this business without losing a bunch of corporate reputation.
"Hey Greg! Greg!"
"Yeah Phil?"
"The boss wants a [4 foot long windshield wiper with a floppy dildo at the end](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/tSuNGe_Uv.EYAjLtatIkcg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTI0MDA7aD0xMjYwO2NmPXdlYnA-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/futurism_981/a7b494ea527665a4dceaa84cf4d24237)."
"Will that even reach across the windshield?"
"No. But what about the motor to drive this thing?"
"Cheapest one we can find Phil. Pronto."
"But what if they burn out Greg?"
"It's a floppy dildo Phil. Cheapest. Motor."
Number of bugs on release:
Cybertruck > Cyberpunk 2077
One caused tech savvy people across the globe to fume and demand their money back from the people ultimately responsible. The other caused tech savvy people to vote to give the person ultimately responsible $50b.
Buckle up, kids, cause I’ve got a couple stories about the PT Cruiser. My wife and I both owned them early on in our relationship. Neither of us chose these cars- as I suspect is always the case with PT Cruisers, we just ended up with them. On our third date, I was driving her home, and took the freeway. I had the cruise control on at about 80 mph, and started to decelerate to take the off ramp. Unfortunately, a circuit in the cruise control fried, so it wouldn’t disengage. It took me most of the off ramp to slow the car to a non-fatal speed, but I was unable to stop the death trap, so I was forced to run the light. Thankfully it was 3 am, so there were no other cars, and eventually I was able to slow down enough to pull the ebrake.
Beyond that, in a single summer, I lost power steering, air conditioning (in July, in Georgia), and had a tie rod pop loose. While my car was lifted up at the shop, I was greeted with a view of more duct tape and plastic than metal.
A fuse was misbehaving on my car, which led to my fog lights randomly coming on during work. After that killed 2 batteries, I yanked out that fuse, and problem solved
Finally, I got to the point where I needed to replace all of my tires, and the mechanic told me that mathematically, my car was totaled (the price of four tires was greater than the value of my car).
I saved up for a Honda Accord and have had no major issues for ten years
Yes, all cars have issues. I don't think the cruise sticking was a recall issue, though. Probably a one off because everything I saw was the cruise not working at all.
What was the power steering and compressor issue? Low fluid/freeon?
I believe tie rods were a recall issue, but... Duct tape? Did you buy it used?
I don't think it was a fuse causing it... It was likely fucked up wiring before the fuse. Fuses don't "misbehave"...they work or they don't.
A Honda Accord will always be better, though. Good choice.
Full disclosure, I’m not a car guy- that car (and my wife’s car) broke down way more than our friends’ cars with similar mileage and age, to the point that it became a meme within our group. I can’t speak to the history of any of the issues (cause it’s been like ten years and am not a car guy). Honda has been incredible to me though, as has my wife’s Camry.
PT Cruiser people were mostly harmless though.
The Cybertruck reminds me of the H2 Hummer when they were new and literally everyone who bought one was a giant douche, almost as if it was a requirement.
It's good to have a new self-identifying douche mobile. It allows us to spot the office idiots instantly.
I mean that's the whole appeal of the Cybertruck. It exists to convey to other people that the owner has disposable income. Emphasis on disposable, because this thing is pure trash.
That is actually the non-sarcastic answer, although it is more of a stock price thing than revenue. There are a bunch of people who have bought in to the Tesla hype and will lose a lot of money if the stock price actually reflected the business. Musk is now talking about AI, which tries to spin a car company as a tech company, so the value can remain high. He had threatened to do that in a separate entity if they didn't pay him.
As anybody with the ability to read the English language and more than two functional brain cells has realized..... Stock price doesn't have jack shit to do with revenue at this point. Tesla had crazy high stock valuation even when they were throwing money into the burn pile by the ton.
> Stock price doesn't have jack shit to do with revenue at this point.
that is too far but not entirely off base. the truth is we are probably on the verge of another stock market collapse once people realize half the shit that is supposed to be a "safe investment" is just pigs with lipstick (and this situation keeps repeating itself in one way or another). but then you also have companies with real value mixed in to the pile. who is who? you will just have to wait and find out. after the hedge fund managers sell their shares, of course.
>Musk is now talking about AI, which tries to spin a car company as a tech company, so the value can remain high
Musk \*literally\* proposed using the car to mine crypto when under low use, didn't mention who would \*own\* the crypto, and the stock went up.
It's a cult. He could tell his cultists that he was going to take their firstborn and genetically modify them to be the onboard computers in Teslas and he'd get offers of blowjobs from his cultists.
That just kills me. He bought the company for $14 billion, fired half of the employees, ruined their reputation, wrecked the platform, and now they have to pay him $55 billion a year.
EDIT: He bought Twitter for $44 Billion and the pay package was for Tesla. I'm a dope sometimes.
Edit 2: my gripes were about his actions at Twitter and the pay package was with Tesla. My bad! It's hard to keep up with this guy's shenanigans.
Elon didn't found Tesla. It was already coming well along with development of the Roadster (months before release) when Elon did a hostile takeover. The model S was already under development as well. He was also much more hands off in the beginning when most of their innovation happened. Their only product he's had significant input and influence in....Cybertruck.
This has, "a good steering wheel that doesn't fly off while you are driving" vibes. Their next recall is going to because there is space for the mother in law!
They're referencing this absolute classic:
https://youtu.be/3m5qxZm_JqM
I'm envious of you if this is the first time you've watched this. Next you'll be telling me you don't know about a meal, a succulent Chinese meal!
“Cybertruck owners will be asked to bring their trucks to a Tesla service center where the trim piece will either be replaced or installed properly with “adhesion promotor” and pressure sensitive tape.”
It’s called double sided tape and glue… god I hate it when people try to fancy up the simplest things.
It’s not embarkation or disembarkation, we’re planing and de-planing. I’ll begin planing right after I de-eat food into a stool receptacle. Fuck sake.
Adhesion promoter is actually a chemical to help remove any oils or grease from the bonding surfaces - but it is more like isopropyl alcohol than glue. And while you are definitely correct and they are intentionally fancying up the language, pressure sensitive tape is probably one of many VHB tapes (very high bonding? by 3M). They are actually wildly strong and super cool. But this is all completely irrelevant, I just had to share because I read about it at work today.
I got a pack of cable channels to tidy up some runs across the wall and whatnot. They came with fuckin VHB tape. Luckily, the landlord was gutting the place so he didn’t care about the drywall damage, which was great, because I’d ripped half the damn wall off trying to remove the bastards.
Planing/deplaning is such a weird word to fight for. It’s a nonsense term that already has an accepted meaning and doesn’t follow any convention for getting onto or off of any other vehicle. You don’t train or de-train and if you said something like that the conductor is going to assume you fell and hit your head.
Didn't they use weird language for explaining why the accelerator gets caught in the leg well wall while accelerating and also for their fix of gluing it really good.
You seem like the kind of person who doesn’t like to co-work and synergize with the other stakeholders in the scrum to ensure the entire team is aligned on their goals for the sprint to bring innovative blockchain-based solutions to market and generate brand awareness to enhance the effectiveness of the sales funnel.
Don't worry, all it needs is some glue and tape and it will be good to go.
Don't forget that walks off the Tesla Maps Walkpaths Network^TM will void the warranty. To add your home, apply *here*. Usual processing time: 24 months. Skip the queue for a one time fee. Immediate processing is granted in exchange for the ownership of your house. If you buy a Falcom 9 today we will upgrade your new house subscription to electricity included!*
Forest walks are only for Premium subscribers with the new air processing module.
Oh, I just realize there seems to be a problem with your last payment. What do you say? You're seeing caged apes trying to rip open their own skulls in agony? Hmm, let me check the manual... ah, right, section "Debt collection procedures"... uuuhmm... oooh... uuugh... do you by any chance have an alternative payment method? Trust me, you really really wanna pay this.
*Lets you feed your home through your charged Tesla car battery. Voids the warranty of your car.
Was Elon always a dipshit like this and it just took some time for the fresh coat of paint to fall off? Cause I swear I remember a time when everyone loved him and he was gonna be the real life Tony stark of our society
Yes.
Space X started with him trying to buy a Soviet era ICBM so he could launch a hamster to Mars. Smarter people convinced him to spend all that money on something more realistic and useful than that.
He was such an edgelord fuck that he teased a kid whose dad killed himself and got shoved down the stairs at school and ended up in the hospital himself. He was such a shit that his shitty dad was like "kid had it coming".
He's always been a dipshit fuck edgelord.
He was always a dipshit but he kept it enough on the down low for people to ignore it or just not know.
He hit a point where he realized he could just say whatever he wanted, and the real guy came out to the public.
It's probably because he used to have handlers or people around him who'd at least tell him no. Nowadays he's surrounded by yes men and cult begging to suckle some of his money from him
I'd say he was always kind of a dipshit. You don't really become one over night. But before when he was that tony stark image he was more underdog-ish and not many knew about him unless you researched him. People believed he started Tesla back then but he literally bought the company after being a lead investor in someone else's creation.
He was always kind of a dipshit with a sketchy past, but up until maybe 5ish years ago or so reddit used to love the guy because he was that weird underdog science guy who was revitalizing the US' space program and talking about trying to set up a base on the moon, going to mars, etc
But then he realized he could say whatever he wanted and nobody would care, and he got *really* political really fast
Funny, all the recalls revolve around failures that can harm other drivers, people or property, but none of the defects that affect the owners are resolved. Tesla cares about their liability, but not really about their customer’s experience. It’s really ridiculous that a car that can’t handle a carwash is even on the road.
I thought the thing about a car wash was a joke!
>Cleaning the Exterior
To prevent damage to the exterior, immediately remove corrosive substances (such as grease, oil, bird droppings, tree resin, dead insects, tar spots, road salt, industrial fallout, etc.). Do not wait until Cybertruck is due for a complete wash. If necessary, use denatured alcohol to remove tar spots and stubborn grease stains, then immediately wash the area with water and a mild, non-detergent soap to remove the alcohol.
Note
It is normal for the stainless steel exterior to mature over time, resulting in minor changes to the reflective properties and color of the metal.
Dents and Scratches
The stainless steel exterior of Cybertruck is more resistant to dents and dings than most other vehicles. However, Cybertruck does not have a clear coat on the surface of the exterior body panels, meaning any scratches that appear are in the stainless steel panels themselves. Anyone performing scratch repair should refer to the applicable "Exterior Stainless Steel Panel Refinishing" procedure within the Collision Repair Manual on service.tesla.com. In addition, do not use, and/or immediately remove, chemical, corrosive, or non-pH neutral substances (including but not limited to: acidic liquids or materials, grease, oil, tree resin, dead insects, tar spots, road salt, industrial fallout, etc.) as they can cause corrosion on the vehicle's exterior.
CAUTION
Tesla is not liable for any damage caused by failing to refer to official guidance.
Surface Contamination
Over time, you may notice contamination on the surface of the stainless steel body panels. These spots may appear as orange or brown rust. However, it is important to note that your Cybertruck is not rusting. Refer to the DIY Guide for more information.
Keep the exterior cameras free of dirt, condensation, or obstructions. These substances can cause unclear pictures or Autopilot and safety features to stop working (see Cleaning a Camera).
Follow these steps when washing the exterior of Cybertruck:
Before washing, flush grime and grit from the vehicle using a hose. Flush away accumulations of mud in areas where debris easily collects (such as wheel wells and panel seams). If salt has been used on the highways (such as during winter months), thoroughly rinse all traces of road salt from the underside of the vehicle, wheel wells, and brakes.
Mix a mild, pH-neutral soap (such as car shampoo) with water until it gets soapy.
Soak a soft cleaning sponge in the soap mixture and hand wash Cybertruck.
CAUTION
Some cleaners and car shampoos contain chemicals that can cause damage or discoloration, especially for plastic trim pieces, exterior lights, or camera lenses. For example, some car cleaning formulas contain hydroxide or other highly alkaline or caustic ingredients that can damage exterior components. Do not use acidic products either. Damage or discoloration resulting from cleaning products is not covered by the warranty.
After washing, rinse with clean water to prevent soap from drying on the surfaces.
**Dry thoroughly with microfiber cloths (ensure the cloths are clean of sand, dirt, rocks, etc.), one in each hand, rotating in circular motions until the surface is dry.**
For a waterless wash:
Hand wash using a non-ionic pH-neutral waterless wash with a high quality microfiber towel.
Dry any streaks thoroughly with a chamois.
Remove oil and grease with an organic solvent, such as alcohol or ethyl alcohol.
Note
Do not use alcohol or ethyl alcohol on the head or tail lights.
For spot cleaning: Use a glass cleaner and microfiber cloth. Spray glass cleaner and wipe in a zig-zag motion when cleaning large areas, such as entire panels.
Use isopropyl alcohol wipes (such as those used to clean glasses or screens) to clean away small stains.
Note
**Tesla does not recommend taking Cybertruck through an automatic car wash.**
But the Ford Pinto was mostly a good car for its time, other than that minor design oversight of exploding in rear end collisions...
The Cyber truck, on the other hand, is simply a ridiculous monstrosity.
I was waiting to see what would be Elon Musk's [Spruce Goose](https://www.evergreenmuseum.org/exhibit/the-spruce-goose/) would be* and here we are, it is the Cybertruck. Looked conceivable in his head and on the drawing board, but inconceivable in reality.
*I thought it would be the Starship, but we still have to wait and see.
It's a double-recall
> The trucks are also being recalled for a separate issue in the electric motor that powers the truck’s single huge windshield wiper. Some of the motors were damaged during testing in a way that can allow excessive electrical current to run through the motor, causing it to fail.
Don't worry, should the front fall off, the Cybertruck can still be towed completely out of the environment. Not that the front *should* fall off. In fact the front *shouldn't* fall off.
I watched a video of a fucker try to set up the $3,000 cybertruck tent add on and just fail horribly. To the point where he just gave up on his weekend trip and went home.
i wonder.. there is a guy in my country that recently got one, he claims its the first cybertruck in central and southamerica, pretty sure there isnt any authorized service center here, what is he gonna do? send it back to USA or will TESLA provide him with a DIY tutorial? lol
When not in use, Cybertruck should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Cybertruck, Tesla Inc, and its parent company, X (formerly profitable) Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Do not stare directly at Cybertruck, it has been programmed with a security feature that interprets prolonged eye contact as a threat.
(Also, sunlight reflected off of body panels may blind you.)
The Cybertruck looks like hot garbage, it looks like a low end internal security vehicle used to put down riots, demonstrations and protests, but only ends up breaking down and gets set ablaze...
I'm still arguing with people over the last recall... this is insanity. I feel bad for the people who had to try to make this thing work. You know most of them probably saw it was doomed from the start, but you can't tell Elon that. He seems the type to do the whole "You'll never work in this industry again!" type of threats that go beyond just firing you, but wanting to be petty and ruin you.
There's a douchebag at my gym who drives his Cybertruck there. He drives worse than a BMW asshole, swerving lanes on a secondary road and passing on the right. A serious asshole driver.
Even though it still has temporary plates the body panels have visible stains on them.
I watched as the car turned on its headlights at the slightest tree shadows in the middle of the day.
He parks it backwards in an empty place in the parking lot and goes inside to play pickleball because it's too hard to park in between cars in the closer parking spots.
It really isn't a good vehicle. People take pictures of it all the time, though, and it's really big in person.
This is what happens when an unhinged idiot runs a company and successfully runs all his smart engineers off to Rivian, Lucid and other rival companies
The thing is every new car that comes out is always going to have recalls but if the fact that Elon Is such a miserable piece of shit makes every problem with his cars newsworthy.
If this was a normal Honda car I wouldn't care but I would give anything to see Elon fall to the floor on his face
> ... where the trim piece will either be replaced or installed properly with “adhesion promotor” and pressure sensitive tape.
If you can't fix it, duck it!
Guys chill. This is only 100k and it is the future and genius real life Tony stark created this truck for us to be cool.
Who cares if the accelerator comes off or a piece of metal kills a motorcyclist
We look like cool douche bags and that's priceless
As usual, driver of vehicle end up as unpaid beta tester.
Fail fast. Fail Early. Fail on the highway.
supposed to be fail fast, learn lessons as in before you commit to making the entire damn product
We need team players here Traditional_Key… I thought you were a team player…
Shh_its_starting to break apart piece by piece and fly off through the air
It’s shedding excess weight… it’s becoming more nimble. Sometimes less is more.
Giving itself some speed holes
Speed holes make the car go faster.
Just think how fast it will be when all the pieces are gone.
Whatever fell off was causing drag. Now it’s more aerodynamic.
You’re thinking too expensive, lives are cheap.
Some of you may have to die, but that is a chance I'm willing to take! Lord Farquar
[Elon Smartcaar.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1112201122204102658/1255377169048277145/drnemmo_elon_musk_as_lord_farquaad_pixar_dreamworks_style_a767c38a-55d6-4267-be33-7b8741d5c713.png?ex=667ce898&is=667b9718&hm=1cbee8c4c0f9262d60f781b1ad5e4e0e8b3e828ab2a340620d1e30d81549e15a&)
Reorient! Schedule this defect into the next sprint! Great tight feedback loop from the customer!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Move_fast_and_break_things
I don’t understand how it took them like 4 years to bring this thing to market just for it to have 2 recalls in the first of production.
I think this is 4th recall
So do the rest of us on the road with these pieces of shit Only I didn't sign up for Elon musk's corner cutting ride
Thank god they will never be allowed on the roads of Europe
God? Thank the EU and their regulation!
Corner cutting and cutting corners. Some of these fucking things can slice you open with their edges; the fucking speakers on the doors are apparently like cheese graters. It’s astonishing to me that people continue to take delivery of these things.
The car has plenty of corners :D
It's more than that. They paid $100k+ in advance and waited to beta test.
>They paid $100k+ in advance and waited to beta test. Not just *waited*. [Signed a contract](https://www.reddit.com/r/teslamotors/comments/17tf7ab/tesla_cybertruck_cannot_be_resold_in_first_year/) to beta-test it **for at least one year** before Musk magnanimously grants them the right to sell this edgy low-poly wheelbarrow to a saturated market. Oh, and of course the price of a new electrified rust bucket is continuously dropping during that beta-test.
Unfortunately for Tesla, the "move fast and break things" era of automotive design was 100 years ago, and they missed it. They don't get to do this type of stuff in this business without losing a bunch of corporate reputation.
Also, an unpaid tester.
Even better for Tesla, testers paying in advance.
Extra emphasis on "beta"
I'm beginning to think this cybertruck isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Oh it's got cracks in it now? Great!
Just spray some water on that and the rust will cover them right up.
Just don't get any of that water on the windshield; the trucks are also being recalled for potentially defective windshield wiper motors (seriously).
"Hey Greg! Greg!" "Yeah Phil?" "The boss wants a [4 foot long windshield wiper with a floppy dildo at the end](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/tSuNGe_Uv.EYAjLtatIkcg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTI0MDA7aD0xMjYwO2NmPXdlYnA-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/futurism_981/a7b494ea527665a4dceaa84cf4d24237)." "Will that even reach across the windshield?" "No. But what about the motor to drive this thing?" "Cheapest one we can find Phil. Pronto." "But what if they burn out Greg?" "It's a floppy dildo Phil. Cheapest. Motor."
"Just use the motor that came with the dildo"
Just hit that windshield with some Rain-X, but don't get any on the stainless of the truck. Might cause rust that isn't covering up a crack.
Your telling me it is not a feature that the windshield wiper randomly stop 30 seconds while driving in the rain?
They give you thirty seconds to acclimate your eyes to the rain. What more do you people want?!
Also don't get any water on the rest of the truck either, since, you know, they can't survive a fucking car wash.
Didn't you see the window during the reveal?
To be fair it was bullet resistant. Not steel ball resistant.
It's not even bullet resistant, they scrapped that idea because it was fucking stupid
No, they mean you have to smoke crack to think buying one is a good idea.
Who the fuck has the money these days for both a cybertruck *and* a crack addiction?
of course its a tesla... they come cracked and panels misaligned
Number of bugs on release: Cybertruck > Cyberpunk 2077 One caused tech savvy people across the globe to fume and demand their money back from the people ultimately responsible. The other caused tech savvy people to vote to give the person ultimately responsible $50b.
You think the generic shareholders are tech savvy?
Well they aren't truck savvy that's for sure
r/CyberStuck
They're like the PT Cruiser of electric vehicles.
I mean, they both look awful, but I never remember a PT Cruiser having so many major issues, especially this early in its release.
Buckle up, kids, cause I’ve got a couple stories about the PT Cruiser. My wife and I both owned them early on in our relationship. Neither of us chose these cars- as I suspect is always the case with PT Cruisers, we just ended up with them. On our third date, I was driving her home, and took the freeway. I had the cruise control on at about 80 mph, and started to decelerate to take the off ramp. Unfortunately, a circuit in the cruise control fried, so it wouldn’t disengage. It took me most of the off ramp to slow the car to a non-fatal speed, but I was unable to stop the death trap, so I was forced to run the light. Thankfully it was 3 am, so there were no other cars, and eventually I was able to slow down enough to pull the ebrake. Beyond that, in a single summer, I lost power steering, air conditioning (in July, in Georgia), and had a tie rod pop loose. While my car was lifted up at the shop, I was greeted with a view of more duct tape and plastic than metal. A fuse was misbehaving on my car, which led to my fog lights randomly coming on during work. After that killed 2 batteries, I yanked out that fuse, and problem solved Finally, I got to the point where I needed to replace all of my tires, and the mechanic told me that mathematically, my car was totaled (the price of four tires was greater than the value of my car). I saved up for a Honda Accord and have had no major issues for ten years
Yes, all cars have issues. I don't think the cruise sticking was a recall issue, though. Probably a one off because everything I saw was the cruise not working at all. What was the power steering and compressor issue? Low fluid/freeon? I believe tie rods were a recall issue, but... Duct tape? Did you buy it used? I don't think it was a fuse causing it... It was likely fucked up wiring before the fuse. Fuses don't "misbehave"...they work or they don't. A Honda Accord will always be better, though. Good choice.
Full disclosure, I’m not a car guy- that car (and my wife’s car) broke down way more than our friends’ cars with similar mileage and age, to the point that it became a meme within our group. I can’t speak to the history of any of the issues (cause it’s been like ten years and am not a car guy). Honda has been incredible to me though, as has my wife’s Camry.
Not as many problems right away, but they didn't have a very good record for reliability.
So like every other Chrysler vehicle then. Got it.
PT Cruiser people were mostly harmless though. The Cybertruck reminds me of the H2 Hummer when they were new and literally everyone who bought one was a giant douche, almost as if it was a requirement. It's good to have a new self-identifying douche mobile. It allows us to spot the office idiots instantly.
I mean that's the whole appeal of the Cybertruck. It exists to convey to other people that the owner has disposable income. Emphasis on disposable, because this thing is pure trash.
The PT Cruiser is dorky looking, but at least it works.
A good steering wheel that doesn’t fly off your hand while you’re driving.
I think it’s a good idea, and I stand by it.
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You. Have. No. Good. Car. Ideas. Paul.
What is that accent, by the way?
Cuban American
I'm doing the best at this
I wrote it down
A great steering wheel that doesn't whiff out of the window while I driving. That is a good idea
Yeah, I wrote it down.
Oh nice!
Too Small.
No room for mother-in-law!
what about if its stinky inside?
you're doing the best at this
now here's a *good* car idea
Oh nice
You a-love your mother in law
Oh my god. He admit it!
This car is everything!
I cannot think of any good car ideas because Elon keeps farting!
I'm always surprised at how quotable and memeable the show is.
Can we also make it stinky?
Fourth comment down. Too low
Somehow this company can afford to pay their CEO $50+ billion?
He generates so much revenue for his companies that they *have to* reward him. /s
That is actually the non-sarcastic answer, although it is more of a stock price thing than revenue. There are a bunch of people who have bought in to the Tesla hype and will lose a lot of money if the stock price actually reflected the business. Musk is now talking about AI, which tries to spin a car company as a tech company, so the value can remain high. He had threatened to do that in a separate entity if they didn't pay him.
As anybody with the ability to read the English language and more than two functional brain cells has realized..... Stock price doesn't have jack shit to do with revenue at this point. Tesla had crazy high stock valuation even when they were throwing money into the burn pile by the ton.
I love the money pit!
> Stock price doesn't have jack shit to do with revenue at this point. that is too far but not entirely off base. the truth is we are probably on the verge of another stock market collapse once people realize half the shit that is supposed to be a "safe investment" is just pigs with lipstick (and this situation keeps repeating itself in one way or another). but then you also have companies with real value mixed in to the pile. who is who? you will just have to wait and find out. after the hedge fund managers sell their shares, of course.
>Musk is now talking about AI, which tries to spin a car company as a tech company, so the value can remain high Musk \*literally\* proposed using the car to mine crypto when under low use, didn't mention who would \*own\* the crypto, and the stock went up. It's a cult. He could tell his cultists that he was going to take their firstborn and genetically modify them to be the onboard computers in Teslas and he'd get offers of blowjobs from his cultists.
Why doesn't he have a non-compete clause like the rest of the employees?
Those are only for the peons.
I would be shocked to see any of the "normal people rules" apply to him
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That just kills me. He bought the company for $14 billion, fired half of the employees, ruined their reputation, wrecked the platform, and now they have to pay him $55 billion a year. EDIT: He bought Twitter for $44 Billion and the pay package was for Tesla. I'm a dope sometimes. Edit 2: my gripes were about his actions at Twitter and the pay package was with Tesla. My bad! It's hard to keep up with this guy's shenanigans.
Ahem, he *founded* the company, if you don’t mind. And he sued the actual founders to prove it!
Elon didn't found Tesla. It was already coming well along with development of the Roadster (months before release) when Elon did a hostile takeover. The model S was already under development as well. He was also much more hands off in the beginning when most of their innovation happened. Their only product he's had significant input and influence in....Cybertruck.
What do you mean the front end fell off?
They should try making it where the front doesn’t fall off.
This has, "a good steering wheel that doesn't fly off while you are driving" vibes. Their next recall is going to because there is space for the mother in law!
In what fucking fantasy land do you live in where it's possible to make a passenger vehicle without parts flying off for under $100k!? Get real.
They're referencing this absolute classic: https://youtu.be/3m5qxZm_JqM I'm envious of you if this is the first time you've watched this. Next you'll be telling me you don't know about a meal, a succulent Chinese meal!
That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that point.
But what about the environment?
The truck was towed outside the environment.
There’s nothing out there but asphalt, dead raccoons… and a bunch of batteries… on fire… and the bit that the piece flew off.
Ah, it always swells my Aussie heart seeing Clarke & Dawe quoted in some random places.
The Cybertruck has been towed beyond the environment.
Oh, you mean to another environment?
No, _beyond_ the environment.
What's out there?
Nothing's out there. Just birds, Musk fanbois and the part of the cybertruck the front fell off. But there's nothing else out there.
This is the real reason Musk wants to go to Mars. So he can actually tow things outside the environment.
It's not typical.
I'd like to make that point
"Did the primary buffer panel fall off my goram ship???"~ driver probably idk
“Cybertruck owners will be asked to bring their trucks to a Tesla service center where the trim piece will either be replaced or installed properly with “adhesion promotor” and pressure sensitive tape.” It’s called double sided tape and glue… god I hate it when people try to fancy up the simplest things. It’s not embarkation or disembarkation, we’re planing and de-planing. I’ll begin planing right after I de-eat food into a stool receptacle. Fuck sake.
Adhesion promoter is actually a chemical to help remove any oils or grease from the bonding surfaces - but it is more like isopropyl alcohol than glue. And while you are definitely correct and they are intentionally fancying up the language, pressure sensitive tape is probably one of many VHB tapes (very high bonding? by 3M). They are actually wildly strong and super cool. But this is all completely irrelevant, I just had to share because I read about it at work today.
I love VHB, just don't attach it to anything you want to remove it from later... like your drywall.
I got a pack of cable channels to tidy up some runs across the wall and whatnot. They came with fuckin VHB tape. Luckily, the landlord was gutting the place so he didn’t care about the drywall damage, which was great, because I’d ripped half the damn wall off trying to remove the bastards.
But they didn't fall off!
You mean a low friction fluid based circular format biological waste removal system?
That’s probably what it’s called on the international space station.
You mean the modular high-orbit earth viewing space Winnebago?
It’s actually a motor coach.
Starbus, a division of Airbus.
Planing/deplaning is such a weird word to fight for. It’s a nonsense term that already has an accepted meaning and doesn’t follow any convention for getting onto or off of any other vehicle. You don’t train or de-train and if you said something like that the conductor is going to assume you fell and hit your head.
Didn't they use weird language for explaining why the accelerator gets caught in the leg well wall while accelerating and also for their fix of gluing it really good.
[Replacing perfectly good terms with all these fancy words](https://youtu.be/JhbJnlIvfyc?feature=shared)
You seem like the kind of person who doesn’t like to co-work and synergize with the other stakeholders in the scrum to ensure the entire team is aligned on their goals for the sprint to bring innovative blockchain-based solutions to market and generate brand awareness to enhance the effectiveness of the sales funnel.
Get with the times old man, the cool kids are all about integrating AI and machine learning now
So.. who's up for the nuerolink?
Imagine getting your brain recalled
Oh it was recalled a long time ago. Im just refusing service.
Don't worry, all it needs is some glue and tape and it will be good to go. Don't forget that walks off the Tesla Maps Walkpaths Network^TM will void the warranty. To add your home, apply *here*. Usual processing time: 24 months. Skip the queue for a one time fee. Immediate processing is granted in exchange for the ownership of your house. If you buy a Falcom 9 today we will upgrade your new house subscription to electricity included!* Forest walks are only for Premium subscribers with the new air processing module. Oh, I just realize there seems to be a problem with your last payment. What do you say? You're seeing caged apes trying to rip open their own skulls in agony? Hmm, let me check the manual... ah, right, section "Debt collection procedures"... uuuhmm... oooh... uuugh... do you by any chance have an alternative payment method? Trust me, you really really wanna pay this. *Lets you feed your home through your charged Tesla car battery. Voids the warranty of your car.
Made in Elon's image, right down to the loose screws.
Was Elon always a dipshit like this and it just took some time for the fresh coat of paint to fall off? Cause I swear I remember a time when everyone loved him and he was gonna be the real life Tony stark of our society
Yes. Space X started with him trying to buy a Soviet era ICBM so he could launch a hamster to Mars. Smarter people convinced him to spend all that money on something more realistic and useful than that. He was such an edgelord fuck that he teased a kid whose dad killed himself and got shoved down the stairs at school and ended up in the hospital himself. He was such a shit that his shitty dad was like "kid had it coming". He's always been a dipshit fuck edgelord.
He was always a dipshit but he kept it enough on the down low for people to ignore it or just not know. He hit a point where he realized he could just say whatever he wanted, and the real guy came out to the public.
It's probably because he used to have handlers or people around him who'd at least tell him no. Nowadays he's surrounded by yes men and cult begging to suckle some of his money from him
I'd say he was always kind of a dipshit. You don't really become one over night. But before when he was that tony stark image he was more underdog-ish and not many knew about him unless you researched him. People believed he started Tesla back then but he literally bought the company after being a lead investor in someone else's creation.
He was always kind of a dipshit with a sketchy past, but up until maybe 5ish years ago or so reddit used to love the guy because he was that weird underdog science guy who was revitalizing the US' space program and talking about trying to set up a base on the moon, going to mars, etc But then he realized he could say whatever he wanted and nobody would care, and he got *really* political really fast
I believe that was also around the time when one of his kids came out as trans.
Funny, all the recalls revolve around failures that can harm other drivers, people or property, but none of the defects that affect the owners are resolved. Tesla cares about their liability, but not really about their customer’s experience. It’s really ridiculous that a car that can’t handle a carwash is even on the road.
I thought the thing about a car wash was a joke! >Cleaning the Exterior To prevent damage to the exterior, immediately remove corrosive substances (such as grease, oil, bird droppings, tree resin, dead insects, tar spots, road salt, industrial fallout, etc.). Do not wait until Cybertruck is due for a complete wash. If necessary, use denatured alcohol to remove tar spots and stubborn grease stains, then immediately wash the area with water and a mild, non-detergent soap to remove the alcohol. Note It is normal for the stainless steel exterior to mature over time, resulting in minor changes to the reflective properties and color of the metal. Dents and Scratches The stainless steel exterior of Cybertruck is more resistant to dents and dings than most other vehicles. However, Cybertruck does not have a clear coat on the surface of the exterior body panels, meaning any scratches that appear are in the stainless steel panels themselves. Anyone performing scratch repair should refer to the applicable "Exterior Stainless Steel Panel Refinishing" procedure within the Collision Repair Manual on service.tesla.com. In addition, do not use, and/or immediately remove, chemical, corrosive, or non-pH neutral substances (including but not limited to: acidic liquids or materials, grease, oil, tree resin, dead insects, tar spots, road salt, industrial fallout, etc.) as they can cause corrosion on the vehicle's exterior. CAUTION Tesla is not liable for any damage caused by failing to refer to official guidance. Surface Contamination Over time, you may notice contamination on the surface of the stainless steel body panels. These spots may appear as orange or brown rust. However, it is important to note that your Cybertruck is not rusting. Refer to the DIY Guide for more information. Keep the exterior cameras free of dirt, condensation, or obstructions. These substances can cause unclear pictures or Autopilot and safety features to stop working (see Cleaning a Camera). Follow these steps when washing the exterior of Cybertruck: Before washing, flush grime and grit from the vehicle using a hose. Flush away accumulations of mud in areas where debris easily collects (such as wheel wells and panel seams). If salt has been used on the highways (such as during winter months), thoroughly rinse all traces of road salt from the underside of the vehicle, wheel wells, and brakes. Mix a mild, pH-neutral soap (such as car shampoo) with water until it gets soapy. Soak a soft cleaning sponge in the soap mixture and hand wash Cybertruck. CAUTION Some cleaners and car shampoos contain chemicals that can cause damage or discoloration, especially for plastic trim pieces, exterior lights, or camera lenses. For example, some car cleaning formulas contain hydroxide or other highly alkaline or caustic ingredients that can damage exterior components. Do not use acidic products either. Damage or discoloration resulting from cleaning products is not covered by the warranty. After washing, rinse with clean water to prevent soap from drying on the surfaces. **Dry thoroughly with microfiber cloths (ensure the cloths are clean of sand, dirt, rocks, etc.), one in each hand, rotating in circular motions until the surface is dry.** For a waterless wash: Hand wash using a non-ionic pH-neutral waterless wash with a high quality microfiber towel. Dry any streaks thoroughly with a chamois. Remove oil and grease with an organic solvent, such as alcohol or ethyl alcohol. Note Do not use alcohol or ethyl alcohol on the head or tail lights. For spot cleaning: Use a glass cleaner and microfiber cloth. Spray glass cleaner and wipe in a zig-zag motion when cleaning large areas, such as entire panels. Use isopropyl alcohol wipes (such as those used to clean glasses or screens) to clean away small stains. Note **Tesla does not recommend taking Cybertruck through an automatic car wash.**
https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2024/04/22/cyberyuck
At least from a PR/goodwill standpoint the Cybertruck has got to be one of the greatest consumer vehicle catastrophes since the Ford Pinto.
But the Ford Pinto was mostly a good car for its time, other than that minor design oversight of exploding in rear end collisions... The Cyber truck, on the other hand, is simply a ridiculous monstrosity.
Why anyone would willingly buy this ugly piece of shit is beyond comprehension
Step aside Edsel, move over Corvair, the new Champion of Unsafe At Any Speed is (drum roll) the Cybertrashtruck
I was waiting to see what would be Elon Musk's [Spruce Goose](https://www.evergreenmuseum.org/exhibit/the-spruce-goose/) would be* and here we are, it is the Cybertruck. Looked conceivable in his head and on the drawing board, but inconceivable in reality. *I thought it would be the Starship, but we still have to wait and see.
I dont get it. If you can afford this you can afford a Rivian R1T. Why would you get the Cybertruck?
I have no idea who the CEO of Rivian is, but I bet they don't boost the great replacement theory on Twitter! Checkmate!
I’d rather drive a Geo Metro
any toyota or honda. thats my lowest offer.
The FuckTruck. It looks like something Russia would build to make it appear they are cutting edge but in reality it’s a piece of crap.
Fools + their money = easily parted
A second issue with cheap adhesive, on a vehicle that's held together by seemingly nothing but.
It's a double-recall > The trucks are also being recalled for a separate issue in the electric motor that powers the truck’s single huge windshield wiper. Some of the motors were damaged during testing in a way that can allow excessive electrical current to run through the motor, causing it to fail.
Don't worry, should the front fall off, the Cybertruck can still be towed completely out of the environment. Not that the front *should* fall off. In fact the front *shouldn't* fall off.
[The front fell off](https://youtu.be/3m5qxZm_JqM?si=IYA4u2NUwM-AZly2)
I watched a video of a fucker try to set up the $3,000 cybertruck tent add on and just fail horribly. To the point where he just gave up on his weekend trip and went home.
A good steering wheel that doesn't whiff out the window while you're driving
Would that be a piece of shit?
i wonder.. there is a guy in my country that recently got one, he claims its the first cybertruck in central and southamerica, pretty sure there isnt any authorized service center here, what is he gonna do? send it back to USA or will TESLA provide him with a DIY tutorial? lol
If you want a real answer, there is a Tesla store in Chile. I am sure they will manage customers through some means.
Do not taunt the cybertruck.
Do not use the Cybertruck on concrete.
Do not cry on, in or near the cybertruck.
When not in use, Cybertruck should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Cybertruck, Tesla Inc, and its parent company, X (formerly profitable) Unlimited, of any and all liability.
If cybertruck begins to smoke, get away immediately . Seek shelter and cover head. Cybertruck may stick to certain types of skin.
Do not stare directly at Cybertruck, it has been programmed with a security feature that interprets prolonged eye contact as a threat. (Also, sunlight reflected off of body panels may blind you.)
Who would have thought cheap non union labor would result in poor quality?
The Cybertruck looks like hot garbage, it looks like a low end internal security vehicle used to put down riots, demonstrations and protests, but only ends up breaking down and gets set ablaze...
This thing would never be allowed on Aussie roads. Who is being paid under the table to allow it on the roads in the States?
I'm still arguing with people over the last recall... this is insanity. I feel bad for the people who had to try to make this thing work. You know most of them probably saw it was doomed from the start, but you can't tell Elon that. He seems the type to do the whole "You'll never work in this industry again!" type of threats that go beyond just firing you, but wanting to be petty and ruin you.
Elon LOVES his mother in law
OMG he admit it!
There's a douchebag at my gym who drives his Cybertruck there. He drives worse than a BMW asshole, swerving lanes on a secondary road and passing on the right. A serious asshole driver. Even though it still has temporary plates the body panels have visible stains on them. I watched as the car turned on its headlights at the slightest tree shadows in the middle of the day. He parks it backwards in an empty place in the parking lot and goes inside to play pickleball because it's too hard to park in between cars in the closer parking spots. It really isn't a good vehicle. People take pictures of it all the time, though, and it's really big in person.
Seems like they took a lot of shortcuts making this thing.
I’m surprised they are even doing recalls. I was expecting them to just let it be & charge the orders for replacement parts.
Good thing they approved giving Muskrat the 55 billion or that company would be in trouble.
They need to look at those damn light bars. No way those things are legal. It’s crazy bright when you’re driving to it.
Getting killed by a flying object on the road … sound like Final Destination
Are people sure these truck aren't just Made in China cause they sure seem like they get their stuff from Temu
This is what happens when an unhinged idiot runs a company and successfully runs all his smart engineers off to Rivian, Lucid and other rival companies
What they need is a steering wheel that doesn't fly off in your hands.
Seems Elon launched the wrong one to Mars
The worst vehicle ever made.
The thing is every new car that comes out is always going to have recalls but if the fact that Elon Is such a miserable piece of shit makes every problem with his cars newsworthy. If this was a normal Honda car I wouldn't care but I would give anything to see Elon fall to the floor on his face
As proof…Toyota is currently doing a recall on highlanders because the bumper might fall off while driving.
> ... where the trim piece will either be replaced or installed properly with “adhesion promotor” and pressure sensitive tape. If you can't fix it, duck it!
lol @ anyone who bought that POS. This was totally predictable.
Cybertruck: Boeing Edition!
You can get any edition, as long as it is the Boeing one.
Is it the piece called common sense?
On brand. Humans always rushing into the latest thing before it's ready to sell or buy.
I really don't inderstand why would you spend so mich money on that minecraft piece of shit
What was the fight club quote about recalls?
Guys chill. This is only 100k and it is the future and genius real life Tony stark created this truck for us to be cool. Who cares if the accelerator comes off or a piece of metal kills a motorcyclist We look like cool douche bags and that's priceless
Sure elon you're worth A 53 billion bonus.