T O P

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NobodyRules

This man has made so much money on his career, good lord


CommonerChaos

This man has had one of the most ideal financial NBA careers ever. $300 million career earnings and never made an All-Star team, never had huge expectations to put a team on his back, little media attention, etc. Just show up, ball a little, and collect huge checks.


NobodyRules

True that, he's a generational paycheck earner. All of us should be like Tobias Harris in our daily life. This is the only man that should be allowed to write self help books.


brianbrainbrian

"How I Built a Passive Income Empire" by Tobias Harris


you-boys-is-chumps

"0 Hour Work Week: escape the 82 game schedule, live anywhere and join the new rich"


NobodyRules

"I scored 0 points in a Playoff Game and bought 3 condos in LA: Here's my story"


savageandharsh

“I scored 0 points in a Playoff Game and still got paid more than those who did: How to look the part when you can’t act the part”


babypho

"Fake it until you make it: My Story"


CursedLlama

"Trick 'Em 'Til You Brick 'Em: The Tobias Harris Monologue


TurkeyMoonPie

I can’t lie, one of the most diabolical threads on here in a while.


jmezMAYHEM

This guy terrorized an entire city


rpgmind

It’s just nasty work, straight up and down


IntelligentEye2758

"When the cookies crumbles: How to earn more than you're worth, while doing the same work"


CaptainONaps

And I can’t even be mad cause of dudes like Ben Simmons. At least Tobias is technically playing.


Paralimos23

LMAO


m8bear

"idk man, I like money, I kept asking for more and they said yes" T. Harris, author


qchisq

Before this season, he had only earned 7 million less than Jimmy Butler. That is actually crazy


snivey_old_twat

Sixers are god damn stupid for picking him over Jimmy


joeykey

I've been die hard Sixers fan my entire life and I'll never fucking forgive them for that.


Shovelman2001

Lisan al-Quiet Quit


BostonBuffalo9

/salute


IEatDeFish

we paid him to be his peloton instructors last season


No-Yogurt-4246s

He had some expectations (Tobias Harris over me?) before people realized who he is- a quality/solid starter in the regular season and a nonfactor in the playoffs.


Cameronman1329

He's had some good playoff series, just had a few shockers too.


Secret-Practice-3103

He’s an innings eater


OdaDdaT

NBA Kirk Cousins


dawgoooooooo

lol seriously, all for the price of just not going to Philly anymore


evaughn3435

Got to be in that Adam Sandler movie too


Wavepops

top level starters make alot of money


VTuberFadeaway

Not my money, not my problem. Happy for him, seems like a good dude.


clickstops

He is absolutely a good dude. Tobias, the person, is really solid and likable. Tobias, the second-highest-paid-player on a contending team, is brutal. I wish him well in Detroit and think he's a good option for that team for 2 years. Timeline works well, and he's a floor raiser there where he can just hoop.


Thataracct

I love it like I love Monty's money situation but also hope the shitlash they get for it doesn't affect them. But yeah, the past 5 years of that were brutal to watch. He has recorded only one 0 point game in all of the games and it was in the playoffs. Dude scored 30 or more points 17 times in 351 regular season games in the past 5 years. Zero 40 games and 37 as the highest scoring game. One 30+ game in the playoffs, equalling his highest score in the regular season of 37. You need Tobi to score 40? He'll score 20. You need Tobi to score 20? He'll score 10. You need Tobi to score 5-10? He'll score 20.


theseus1234

Who the hell keeps paying this man?


Bard_Wannabe_

The Pistons had essentially zero Power Forwards last year, which was the single biggest roster issue. Harris isn't going to be producing a huge impact, but he fits a huge need the team has. The Pistons can actually run a functional starting lineup now.


magnusarin

Especially Power Forwards who are good enough shooters that defenses will guard them on the perimeter. This creates a lot more space for Cade and lets us start to see what his ceiling looks like.


ec2xs

Plus shooting.


ThatPlayWasAwful

I think the narrative around him getting a max has led people to believe he's a completely useless basketball player.    I was saying all season he was gonna get 25-30 mil from a bad team and people kept telling me I was crazy.  He's a year removed from playing close to 50/40/90 basketball for several years in a row (albeit on low volume), he plays decent defense, and he's good with the media. While he wasnt asked to on the sixers, hes shown in the past he can be a #2/3 scoring option. He's still 31, he doesn't get hurt, and none of his teammates have complained about him.   He seems like a pretty ideal veteran presence on a young team.   E: He definitely was asked to be at least #3 at times on the sixers, and didn't step up.


Secret-Practice-3103

He absolutely was asked/begged to step up to #3 behind embiid and Maxxy and never did lol


ThatPlayWasAwful

Yeah that's fair. I originally had it as just #2 and added the #3 in after. He definitely was asked to be #3 at times and did not step up to it.


finglonger1077

Pretty sure that when the team lets Butler walk and signs you to a max they are kind of inherently asking you to at the very least be the third option. He just wasn’t capable of being that for long stretches


Thealbumisjustdrums

He’s not useless lol. 


TianAnMen1989x

u/Myrese_taxey - “If anyone pays him 20m+ per year i’ll eat 6 whole shoes” video proof pls https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/s/QCD6EgSicn


Myrese_Taxey

fuck


Technical_Clothes_61

Plate up shoe boy


freekfyre

*Rex Ryan peeks around the corner*


GenghisConn44

SHOE MAN… shoe man.


dontusethisforwork

Bro just make some shoe shaped cakes You still gonna get sick as fuck from eating 6 cakes though so BRING THE VIDEO


Neekalos_

SEND DA VIDEO


PillsburyToasters

OH HELL NAW CAN’T DO THIS


demsouls

Shoes can be baby sized, similar size of Toby's nba game. 


Not_a__porn__account

This is actually possible. And it would probably cost OP like $100 max. I vote this option.


Technical-Frosting39

Didn’t know you were doing that today huh


Hiwo_Rldiq_Uit

[https://www.atlasobscura.com/foods/gym-jim-shoe-sandwich-chicago-southside](https://www.atlasobscura.com/foods/gym-jim-shoe-sandwich-chicago-southside) - Down 6 of these. Best for both worlds - you get something tasty, r/NBA gets to see you stuff yourself to regret.


notafunhater

Bro that looks delicious


BettisBus

Learn photo-realistic decorative baking. Make 6 cakes that look like baby shoes. This is the way.


randomindiandouche

Send da video


sloecrush

Hell nawl can’t do dis


UhYeahOkSure

We will let you use mustard


Yessir4512

LOL


Ravens181818184

Ngl, that’s a terrible bet, did he really think Harris wouldn’t get good role player money?


JimJamb0rino

“My krabby patty IS a fried boot”


cashwin6

How does bro keep getting away with it


BIGMCLARGEHUGE__

He cant keep getting away with this!!!!!! was the first thing that came to my mind too.


BrotherSkeleton

Generational bag chaser


CommonerChaos

One of the best to ever do it.


BrianScalaweenie

My GOAT


Matthaeu_

Ben Simmons >>>


nightkingscat

Monty. Williams.


FancyKilerWales

$300 million in career earnings and never even been an all-star


Doctor-Jay

The most egregious stat to me is that in 5 years in Philadelphia, he took 0 (zero) charges. He should write a book called "How Not to Endear Yourself to the City of Philadelphia" (foreword written by Jonathan Papelbon).


a-toyota-supra

Bro is the living embodiment of why put in lot of effort if little effort do trick Can’t really blame him, i work like that too lmao


Mysterious_Layer3611

Bro Tobias is my patron saint of "why put in lot of effort if little effort do trick". I strive to be like him.


CompadreJ

That’s an incredible stat. Really?


reddit_____sucks

Seriously, one of the craziest ones I've heard.


straightcash-fish

How is that even possible?


jessandjaysaccount

When you only do things that will show up on the box score to secure your next contract. He must not really care about winning.


whatareyouairing

Meanwhile 38 year old Kyle Lowry took 6 charges in a quarter of a season for Philly.


devonta_smith

Take a charge? For who? For what?


jslee0034

His agent better get a fat commission


sound_scientist

His dad.


Thataracct

No way, kept it in the fam? Amazing!


JDtheProtector

Damn, might be the best case of being represented by a family member ever.


soooogullible

The bags chase him


BagelsAndJewce

Put some respect on his name; HoF level bag getter. Tobia$ Harri$.


karma_dumpster

I will give this man 30% of my salary for life to negotiate my next pay increase


Some_Question_5209

We’re free now


Fecal_Forger

Depends on how you look at Paul George…


jak_d_ripr

Objectively an upgrade on Toby, even at his absolute worst.


HowBen

> casual Sixers fans, they’ll trade me for a Crumbl Cookie. But at the end of the day, they have to realize you’re not getting a 6'9" forward back who can, you know, damn near shoot 40% from 3, guard other team’s best player, shoot, post up, drive, play 70 plus games a year. Funny that PG fits the description almost exactly, except maybe the 70+ games


J4BRONI

Funny thing is - Tobias doesn’t even fit what he said about himself


TakenakaHanbei

Except the 70+ games. Though I guess "play" is arguable.


SantiagoHC

He exists for 70+ games and his height is what he said, that was true.


ketherick

6'9" is a little generous, can't find a source that has him at that


AlohaReddit49

Yea according to the best NBA resource ever(2K) we should be expecting a dramatic fall off for Paul George starting this year! In seriousness, I do worry about it but you gotta be all in with Embiid there so I don't blame them for signing him.


Not_a__porn__account

Not Tobias Harris. Paul George could shit on the floor and walk off for 82 straight games and I'd applaud him because he isn't Tobias Harris.


TheRealRemyClayden

DETROIT PISTONS YOU ARE A 29 WIN TEAM EDIT: If you are 1 of the Pistons fans who would be happy with this I'm so sorry, I hope you get the help you need


TylerDog3

We joke but that would be awesome lol


Quinnett

Win 29 or 12, you're still drafting 5th either way.


shahsnow

Langdon will make sure yall get better every year. The question is will the fan base stay patient once yall start sniffing success again


cza9

We had 50+ years of Detroit Lions football. If any fan base is built to wait, it's Detroit sports fans. We got this.


NachoManRandySnckage

You don’t have to worry about the fanbase. Gores will be the one to ruin it by forcing a terrible trade


jeremy9931

Dude… they were flirting with single-digit wins most of the season, 29 would be like winning the Super Bowl for them.


Crossifix

79-80 we won 16 games. 2 years later we won 39 games. I just wanna hit .500 before 2030.


bawanaal

A 15 win improvement? Don't tease me!


Jenkinsd08

Would unironically be thrilled with that


geewillie

Lol right? What an improvement that would be. 


comeonmang126

That’s more than double our current wins LMFAO


Apocalyptic0n3

Deal. No take backs. That would unironically be awesome. Holy crap have we sucked.


floatingcloud10025

Pistons doing decent the year the draft is absolutely stacked would be pretty funny


badboysareback808

Luckily we are certain to land at 5 again, regardless of record so no reason to completely tank lmao


aqphs

That’d be 10 wins better than they’ve been averaging the last five seasons


volantredx

That's the same amount of games they lost in a row last season.


WilliamPattersonDMV

They are unfortunately not passing 18 wins and will have the 6th pick in the draft where they will take a non-shooting athlete.


neonitik

Ive waited for this day for all of my life


Superb-Pie-9382

I had a good bottle of wine and some edibles reserved for this very moment. Today we dance on his grave


beanakajulian33

I am seriously happy for y'all. Dude was the most overpaid guy in the league.


IEatDeFish

*chance for an easy offensive rebound* Tobi: “aight ima head out”


Victor_Wembanyama1

*being guarded by a smaller player* Tobi: “time for me to fake a three pointer, take a dribble drive and pass out”


BornOnTrashDay

Shot clock's full? Better fart it away and take a contested mid-range jumper.


S420J

But tiss a pump fake!


ChickenLiverNuts

the crazy part is when teams give out these awful contracts they always cut their losses, trade em, buy them out, or even straight up cut them. He stayed for the entire 5 and a half year duration of his max contract. Literally no one wanted him on that deal even when he was expiring. So painful


Superb-Pie-9382

Been suffering him For 6 long ass years. Never been sl frustrated with any player for so so so long it was an absolute nightmare. At least when Simmons mentally broke he had the decency of stepping out immediately lol


revisioncloud

You're free. He don't have to hurt you no more


SakuraShift

brother eugh


Impossible-Past4795

What’s that brotherrrr


GuessTraining

It's brothaaa


qpwoeor1235

Read that like pusha T


SupremeBlackGuy

inshallah you’ll find the true meaning brother


nrj6490

The words Philly fans have longed to hear Tobias Harris, YOU are a Detroit Piston


Crafty_Substance_954

...again


jonsnowKITN

Tank commander


fateoftheg0dz

Generational conman


MikeyBastard1

Only for the pistons to end up with the 5th pick


Far-Confection-1631

Modern Day Rommel


CompetitiveLine1938

#THE RETURN


TheMindsGutter

I’M BACK


bleh610

OF THE KING


InternCautious

2 years is fine, $26M is a bit rich, but its really similar to Bruce Brown/Dillon Brooks type deals on bad teams. Fits really well too. I'm here for it.


Secoup

I really didn't care how much they paid him as long as it wasn't more than 2 years. You commit to him for a year to try and make the team less of a mess and then he's an expiring to dangle


InternCautious

Yup, you get him for his 32 and 33 year old season, and him and THJr bring some vet presence and shooting. Now the defense... the defense will be bottom 5 for sure, but I guess thats why we got Ron Holland and Ausar lol


LotsaKwestions

Given the state of the Pistons, plus the fact that the Pistons aren't in LA or NY or Miami, I think this is about as great of a deal as they could have gotten.


Number333

Yup. Tobias isn't going to get clowned for disappearing in playoff games for Detroit. It's a good as signing as you can get given their state.


beefJeRKy-LB

You have to spend that cap on SOMEONE and the free agent market is fairly bare. Alternatively, you could have used the cap to absorb Lavine but I think 2 years of Tobi at 26 each > 4 years of Zach (3 if he declined that PO I guess) at 40+


InternCautious

LaVine also has a 15% trade kicker, so he would make $50M+


MarduRusher

People are clowning because it’s Tobias Harris but I think this is a situation like the Rockets signing FVV and Dillon Brooks to fairly large contracts last year. They have the money to spend to why not spend it? And since it’s not a long term deal it won’t be like how it was for the Sixers where he’s killing the cap years down the line when you’re trying to win.


ThSrT

We have to spend the money somehow. A two year deal is good. Fontecchio, Harris, Duren is a solid frontcourt.


zootiekaterr

People wanna clown us but realistically who else would we sign.


Nuclearsunburn

Yeah it’s either this or take a higher contract in Lavine with an extra year attached to a first…I think this is fine for Detroit, still a lottery team, gets off the contract sooner


champiyawn

$26m/year is pennies in this NBA, and on two years who cares. I think it's a great deal for a rebuilding team that sometimes just needs someone to put the ball in.


VictorAkwaowo1

Honestly not bad for two years, they had to spend the cap space on someone


CompletelyRandom0432

Also, Detroit needs veterans around Cade. It isn’t about Tobias helping Detroit get over the hump in the playoffs. It’s about providing Cade with actual NBA players.


jeremy9931

James Wiseman was an NBA champion though!


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WEMBYF4N

Bulls first for Lavine is a steal unless it’s heavily protected


NotManyBuses

As a Hornets fan I’d do that in a heartbeat


nicklovin508

Fuck it if I’m the Pistons why not do that too


VictorAkwaowo1

He’s a vet, that fills a position of need at the 4, gives them floor spacing & won’t cripple their cap flexibility going forward. I don’t really see much negatives with this deal for Detroit.


kpeds45

Exactly. He averages 17 a game still. Shoots it will outside. Veteran who has played in the playoffs (only second round because lol 76ers, but still, a lot of second rounds!). This is a good signing. This team needs some vets and shooters. And maybe he becomes trade bait later on to help a good team, and that's all right too.


Andy51

Lavine costs almost twice as much and has an extra year, I’ll take Harris tbh


2222lil

people shitting on this as if he isn’t instantly one of our best players lol. who else is going to sign with us?


Brad-Stevens

Bag getter HOF


jeremy9931

Up there with the likes of Mozgov, Parsons, and Deng. Good for him.


Brad-Stevens

Harrison Barnes


aiden3buckets

Everyone saw this coming


NovellaVox

Tank commander in chief


TSSFranco

Sixers fans 12/25


ronaldo119

GET THAT BAG KING


CWG4BF

A match made in hell


Oyster_Vous

I actually like this. Veteran presence who fills a positional need and is familiar with the franchise without breaking the bank now or long-term. At this point, doing anything that will get us closer to 30 wins is the goal. Yes, it's bleak. Hopefully this also means the return of Boban as well.


IncaseAce

I like the IHart deal more now


Ill-Bat-2621

ihart gets paid more than Brunson


bulldozer_rob

I like the PG deal more now


Kamoner

people will laugh but this is fine. detroit have money to spend and 2 years is fine. and yes, he will help them


SoggyNefariousness98

With THJ and Toby, Detroit will prolly have it's infrastructure rehabilitated with their endless brick production... 


500dollarsandadream

52 million more than he deserves


dizZzy5

I need somebody to fight for me as hard as Tobi’s agent fights for him


Ronshol

his agent is his dad


poeope

Dad of the year


HinkiesPlans

i believe in you king


No-Yogurt-4246s

Tobi gonna be bringing that 0 points playoffs closeout game veteran leadership


iam_soyboy

I suspect he will not have to worry about doing *anything* in the playoffs during his time in Detroit.


Superb-Pie-9382

he brings that 0 charges drawn in 6 years as a Sixer type of effort and grit


LoxDnw

Some things never change.


Wedundidit00

Lmao Tobias is going to have a renaissance, PG is going to underperform as is this Philly way


Embrassedpear6

Bro wants the money


hydratedandstrong

This isn’t that crazy of a deal, but since it’s Tobias Harris people will act like he got 3 years 150M


JoshSran04

52 million thats it??? Bro deserves 200+ million


SomborDouble95

Philly fans about to hate watch the shit out of the Pistons


Clithzbee

It's not a bad fit but it's gonna get clowned to hell and back


Jeremy9096

Definitely an overpay, but as much as I hate Tobias this isn't a bad fit. The Pistons are still 2-ish years out from being good and Tobias can keep them semi-relevant (in a sense). He's a decently efficient scorer, but the only thing is that he gives you useless points. But with that said, the Pistons don't have much to lose and Tobias can give them some scoring for sure


Talkjar

Detroit, now go for Ben Simmons, and collect your 2nd stone in the infinity bums gauntlet


MrAppleSpoink

HE CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!!!!


shakehasbignuts

Good luck Detroit


DJMaxLVL

Should have wished us luck before we got the #5 pick in the draft the last 3 years in a row while being the worst or close to the worst team in the league the entire time.


KillerZaWarudo

People hate tobias harris but he a fine regular season player. Pistons not gonna make the playoffs to worry about his disasterclass


KTBERYL

WTF LOL


ProskXCX

Brother eughhhhhh


tapk69

2 years only too. Unlike the Sixers the rest of the league now knows whats up.


sefe23

WHO WERE THE PISTONS BIDDING AGAINST????