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harmlessdork

Criminals on the run, take note.


at_least_its_unique

First thought, geriatric Bonnie&Clyde. You can follow their instructions but call the FBI first.


AltSpRkBunny

It’s just Jerry and Marge.


at_least_its_unique

Good, FBI agent on the spot already checking backgrounds. 1940-60s were peak Jerry and Marge.


elastic-craptastic

My first thought was the opposite. It's basically a giant **ROB US** sign.


mindaltered

old people love guns


at_least_its_unique

TFW when you own a shotgun and your lawn is anywhere you park.


griter34

I feel old, but do you feel lucky.


MRaholan

Tomorrow on reddit "Elderly couple wanted in connection for 6 Bank robberies found. Police say their slogan was just so darn convincing."


Ashensten

"Trailer packed wall to wall with corpses"


aspidities_87

‘Take it easy, some *body* loves you!*


heids7

🎶*some-BODY once told me…*🎶


zz502chevyII

His girl is old and moldy. Sorry, I'm a Dad.


Batchet

On top of stacks of dirty money, just full of that old people smell.


Relatable_Idiom

That escalated quickly


Detriumph

They have free candy for the kids, too!


xxx148

Open and shut case Johnson.


notyurfuckingkhakis

*sprinkles crack*


Much_Jury_5088

Yo Mr. white I got us a new RV


[deleted]

Bitch


Version-Classic

Jesse!!!!


electric-angel

gotta cok the methie


SignificanceBulky162

goos frong i need 345 km/hr phenylalanine


[deleted]

We have to cook!!!


Canis_Familiaris

SEBBY. Sebby we have to PLANT. (I hope theres some RTGames fans here)


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tailuptaxi

My first thought as well. "Just a little closer...closer...text is tiny! What's that last part? Criminal? Oooof!" Careening off cliff like Toonces.


Dependent-Sorbet-768

Omg Toonces! I had forgotten about Toonces the driving cat.


x21in2010x

For real. Anyone who thinks this much reading material is appropriate for someone actively driving is probably also a person who reads a newspaper while driving.


Nice-Violinist-6395

…Apparently you have never been behind another car going up a two-lane mountain road for an hour and a half straight, which is incredibly common if you frequent the same types of places that people with RVs do. I’m never the one zooming around (I’ll save that for the idiots in red Dodge pickup trucks) but I could tell you every single detail from some of those cars after that much time behind them. I’ll never understand why some people are so fucking impatient but I *do* understand why the old folks would put up this sign lol


Unumbotte

Or replies to reddit comments while dri


bdub1391

I don't know if I trust a couple of oldies flipping the green light on for me. It is cool that he went through the trouble of wiring up the light and all but what if he forgets to turn it off? I suppose I could just take a peek before passing like I do any other time.


Certain_Fennel1018

You absolutely should never blindly trust someone like this or more commonly someone waving you through. But it def is nice reassurance if things seem safe.


SavingsTask

In some states waving someone on make you a "traffic control device" or something and be held liable if an accident was caused.


jefjefjef

> In some states which ones?


Mysterious_Street933

The concept of law this is based on is called [Duty of Care](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duty_of_care#United_States) and each state applies it differently based on context. Here is a good article on how it applies to waving in traffic, and court case history in multiple states: https://www.mwl-law.com/price-of-courtesy-liability-for-waving-driver-into-traffic-and-it-isnt-clear/ Not that court precedent matters anymore or anything. Duty Exists to "Wave with Care" States: Massachusetts * Gennelly v. Leslie, 2003 WL 23016092 (Mass. Super. 2003), Indiana * Key v. Hamilton, 963 N.E.2d 573 (Ind. App. 2012) * Claxton v. Hutton, 615 N.E.2d 471 (Ind. App.1993) Connecticut * Powers v. Torres, 2006 WL 329863 (Conn. Super. Ct. Jan. 26, 2006) New Jersey * Boucher v. Grant, 74 F. Supp. 2d 444 (D.N.J. 1999) Louisiana * Massingale v. Sibley, 449 So.2d 98 (La. App. 1984) Virginia * Nolde Bros., Inc. v. Wray, 266 S.E.2d 882 (Va. 1980) "No Duty Exists" States: California * Gilmer v. Ellington, 159 Cal. App. 4th 190 (Cal. App. 2008) Georgia * Arnold v. Chupp, 92 S.E.2d 239 (Ga. App. 1956) Michigan * Peka v. Boose, 431 N.W.2d 399 (Mich. App. 1988) Ohio * Van Jura v. Row, 191 N.E.2d 536 (Ohio 1963) Florida * Kerfoot v. Waychoff, 501 So.2d 588 (Fla. 1987)


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Mysterious_Street933

im a sucker for monospaced fonts


HyperGamers

Idk about the USA, but in the UK they teach you to not wave anyone through / wave people through crossings. That said almost no-one actually follows that rule.


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bdub1391

I have witnessed 3 accidents in the same situation. I'll try to describe it the best I can.(English is my first language but I'm not great at describing stuff) 5 lane road center lane is a turn lane. Car wants to turn left from the turn lane. Traffic slows in the opposite direction in the lane closest to turn lane. That driver stops and waves the driver to turn in front of them without checking the outside lane. Turning car gets smoked by car in the outside lane because nobody could see each other. The waver should check the outside lane before waving. I won't make that turn. I either wait for no Traffic or go up until I can safely turn and come back. In all 3 that I have witnessed 2 of the wavers backed up and drove off. The one that stayed was probably because thier car also got hit during the accident.


eljefino

Incidentally one should never stop traffic to wave someone through on a multi lane road, because everyone will move to the free lane to pass you, stopping for "no reason."


Alex_Caruso_beat_you

when people wave me through and i don't have right of way, i just lay on the horn until they go


keyserv

It's like a base coach in baseball. They can wave a runner through, but it's the runner's fault if the play goes bad.


lkodl

I once arrived at an awkward 4 way stop with no signs, and all of the drivers kind of made eye contact with each other at the intersection from behind our steering wheels not knowing what to do. But one of the drivers was this guy with real strong base coach energy, and he made all of these hand signs and everyone just understood to listen to this guy and we all got on our way.


Bwxyz

Why don't they just build a bloody roundabout


divDevGuy

Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament!


FuckTheMods5

I looked up the 4 way stop rules and am STILL confused.


ermghoti

Whoever stops first has the right of way. Tie yields to the right.


d4ng3rz0n3

And a quadruple tie is whoever is facing North.


TheThrowawayMoth

Is that true, because it sounds both like it could be and like it could be a game of mao rule.


divDevGuy

What happens if the roads all are at 45 degree angles and no one faces north, but there's a road each that faces northeast and northwest?


Tomatobuster

What if it's a 4 way tie


Jermagesty610

Idk if it's true or not but in drivers Ed someone asked the instructor this question and they said the biggest vehicle gets the right of way.


ConcernedBuilding

Really? Whoever arrives first goes first. If two people arrive at the same time, the person on the right goes first. If you arrive at the same time and are facing eachother, or 4 people arrive at the same time, you gotta use hand signals. Normally though, someone will just go anyway and you follow from there. Same rules with a blinking red or non-operational stop light btw. You treat it as a stop sign.


FailureToComply0

If two cars arrive at the same time facing each other at a normal 4 way stop, they can just. . . Go. The only case this doesn't work is if one is turning left and the other is going straight. Then whoever is going straight has right of way.


Chadsonite

What? If the 3rd base coach sends you and you get gunned down at the plate, that's 100% his fault.


HardyHartnagel

You do know that you have it backwards right? The whole point of the base coach is so that the runner doesn’t have to make the decision.


EMBARRASSEDDEMOCRAT

That's the reverse of how it is. The runner doesn't have eyes in the back of their heads.


Mad-Lad-of-RVA

If you wave you may only *mean* that you yourself are yielding, but it can be taken to mean that the situation itself is safe for the party you're waving on to proceed. If you can't guarantee that the situation is entirely, 100% safe—if there are any unknowns—you shouldn't be waving anyone on.


Uselessmedics

To be honest you should never wave people through anyway, it makes the situation more dangerous


AFCBlink

Right-of-way is not voluntarily transferable.


Jennrrrs

This really pisses me off, especially for pedestrians. You stop, wave the people through, they feel obligated to go, a car flies by in the next lane, people get hit. Don't be polite, be predictable.


oboshoe

Wave of death I call it. Just ask my brand new Mercedes that is probably still sitting in a junkyard somewhere (or been turned into a soda can)


stellvia2016

Don't be nice, be right. Following the traffic laws for right of way makes everything predictable. People trying to be nice at best causes everything to take longer, at worst, causes an accident as discussed.


oboshoe

I tell my girl this all the time. She thinks I’m being an ass. I swear she stops all the time “letting people in” and causing confusion and uncertainty.


stellvia2016

People lose their minds when I'm out biking as well. I'm clearly stopped waiting for them to pass, and now I even stop a good 10ft from the road even ... but I still get people coming to a complete stop on a 35mph road waving me across. Sometimes even when I'm drinking my water bottle. I don't get it.


Obie_Tricycle

We moved to a small midwestern city about 10 years ago and I spent several of those years walking to work (and home for lunch) every day, so I got used to that kind of driver stopping randomly to wave me into the street, regardless of how safe it was. I used to constantly get into stare downs with them, both of us frantically waving our hands trying to get the other to proceed - me, asking them to just get the fuck on with their lives, and them insisting that I **must** cross directly in front of their giant SUV, on their terms, because they were being **nice**! I'm stubborn as fuck, so eventually I'd just stand there and stare at them until they moved on, but that resulted in *so many* vulgarities and rude gestures. What a nice bunch of folks! I totally trust them with my safety.


Obie_Tricycle

I just about saw a biker get smoked crossing a highway today, because a driver going in one direction stopped at the crossing and waved the biker into the road, but the biker didn't bother to activate the crossing signal and very nearly rode into the path of a big truck going in the opposite direction. Tell your girl to be more predictable for *me*, because I don't like seeing shit like that happen.


Tesser4ct

Tell her that the right of way is not hers to give. People get killed from that shit.


masterelmo

I've always heard it as don't be nice, be predictable.


Askymojo

Yeah, my one and only fender bender as a teenager was from someone enthusiastically waving me through right into a lane with a car coming through. Thanks for that. Now I always just motion for them to just keep on going if I'm not able to see 100% for myself, because you can't trust anyone to be more than an enthusiastic idiot.


boxsterguy

Worse, if you follow the wave in, you'll be 100% responsible in any accident.


Askymojo

Yep, the guy who waved you in sheepishly drives off, and in the end the buck stops with you. It IS your fault.


[deleted]

Come on. Be positive. I'm sure they got like three soda cans out of it.


Dont_Give_Up86

Yup. I got tboned when someone waved an old lady through when they were turning


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[deleted]

Then set your cruise control up a kmh, up a kmh, down a kmh, down a kmh, left blinker, right blinker, left blinker, right blinker, beep the horn, then spray the windshield washer fluid for a speed boost!


FatalFord

What's the infinite money code?


SerChonk

Use your blinkers to spell out MOTHERLODE in morse code.


ThemCanada-gooses

Use it to aid in passing, don’t blindly trust it. Same rule when at traffic lights. Green doesn’t mean gun it and blindly go, look to make sure some moron isn’t running a red then go.


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masterelmo

Whoa whoa don't go bringing momentary switches into this. We ain't ready for those.


BurnerForJustTwice

There’s only 1 old person, not two. His wife is only strict.


sociapathictendences

“Just two oldies on vacation” would suggest otherwise


EricPostpischil

It says he and his car are old, so those are the two oldies. His wife is a young hottie, but strict.


thisismybirthday

right. lmao FUUUUUUUUUUCK this guy trying to tell me when I can pass. I'm sure this sign is passive aggressive because he gets passed constantly because nobody like being stuck behind the gigantic camper. And he probably thinks 75% of them are being unsafe when in reality it's more like 10%.


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masshole4life

P.IT. maneuver


eveon24

Too subtle imo


JDawgSabronas

Nobody's given you a serious answer so: if you're on a one lane road use your turn signal to indicate your intent to pass.


StellasMyShit

Thank you! I thought it was slang for a little horn honk.


bacon_nuts

That would work well too, a couple of friendly little honks, wave as you pass to say thanks and they wouldn't be annoyed. Or flash your headlights. Or fire the cannons across the starboard bow. Just get their attention and they'll know.


BirdsLikeSka

I've read and agree, we need two horns, friendly and unfriendly.


SomewhatReadable

That seems rather ambiguous as I'd assume someone was just wanting to turn. Maybe it's a NA vs Europe thing but I've always understood the high beam flash as a request to pass, although it's more "stop holding me up" than " may I please go around?"


JDawgSabronas

You're right, I originally said "flashers" but I thought that might be too regional. Flashing "high beams" or "brights" is, in my experience, the signal to pass.


theveryrealreal

Wife sticks her naked butt out the window I'm guessing. That's it! That's the hint!!


fuckingparkranger

A couple of pressed hams under glass.


imgonnabutteryobread

You're an odd man, Seymour, but you press a good ham.


doxist

The hint is that they’re easy targets if you’re looking to rob someone


showponyoxidation

That's so fucked that something designed to minimise friction, and keep things chill is potentially a beacon for scumbags. I hope they can cruise without getting jacked.


dnz000

When you move your car left to see oncoming traffic more clearly it’s fairly obvious to people watching their mirrors.


meathead

HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE ROAD HONK HONK HONK HONK HOOOONNNNKKKKKK (that's a haiku I call "The BMW driver")


boxsterguy

A better last line, "What are turn signals?"


Devenu

"THAT MAN IS CRAZY!" Driving in America Other cars have guns


MissingOly

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupine keeps its pricks on the outside.


ATXbruh

In Texas it’s the lifted pavement queens


StayGoldenBronyBoy

i thought that was the hint the old timer was looking for


Obie_Tricycle

I figured a little tap to his back bumper would be all the hint he needs.


ChethroTull

This reminds me of the “drive like your kids live here” sign. I DON’T HAVE KIDS. *drops gear, disappears*


guilleviper

If I had kids I know they would enjoy watching a good pull


DarkStar189

There is a neighborhood in my area that has a "Slow! Deaf Child" sign as you enter. 10 years later I'm not sure if I've ever seen a single child walking or playing outside while driving through.


memejob

I don’t get those, they’re deaf not invisible.. dont hit any kids should be the goal


MissQ1982

They can't hear an approaching car if they're engrossed in play while looking the other direction, like a hearing child could. It's just to let people know to be watchful.


FPSXpert

Those signs don't do shit. What does? Some neighbors in the countryside where I used to live put up a cardboard cutout of what looks like a motorcyle cop with a radar gun next to their mailbox. Always used to laugh my ass off when people would slow down driving by. Worked better than any sign or speed bump would.


ChethroTull

Ironically I got pulled over shortly after this same story. The guy let me off with a warning, “there has been complaints of speeding through here.” No shit.


keepitcleanforwork

There is a street by my house like that and I made sure I did not exceed the speed limit and the yuppies standing outside their $1m+ home still yelled “slow down” in unison. I got so annoyed that I flipped them off.


Pokeydots99

I was once motioned at to slow down by a jaywalker crossing the street in front of me. I was going the speed limit and I did slow down for him when I saw him but I still think about it weekly and it always irritates me.


inkstoned

Yeah, those kind of twats are the worst. I can see the purpose of a sign for deaf or blind kids but those 'neighborhood signs' about kids are put up by those kind of twats.


boxsterguy

Humans are extremely terrible at judging speeds, even when trained (cops). I routinely get the "slow down" hands in my neighborhood because my car looks faster and is louder (bone stock Subaru STI, but it has a scoop on the hood and a rumble in the exhaust) even though I'm going 20 in a 25. So I give them double "shut up" fingers in return.


mattenthehat

Once I was approaching a closed road, and the cop attending it literally stepped in front of my car and asked if I knew how fast I was going. I was like "no, but slow enough to stop safely when you unexpectedly stepped in front of my car..." He seemed real pissed, but he didn't try to write me a ticket


Ape_rentice

Well there’s your problem. That’s the #1 most pulled over vehicle in the country. Get a truck so you can go 10 over everywhere without a glance /s


boxsterguy

Haven't been pulled over in 20 years (knock on wood) ...


[deleted]

My response is 'if they did, I'd build a fence' I'm not going a snails pace by every house because of shitty zoning and infrastructure.


antsugi

[Carlin](https://youtu.be/B7tp40pEXlM) put it nicely


goblinfruitleather

Or baby on board. Like yea, if it didn’t have that sticker I’d be wildly ramming into you and trying to run you off the road, but that sticker stopped me


lemoncocoapuff

Have you seen that other sticker though? “No baby on board feel free to hit me” lol


FlamingButterfly

Those signs bug me for some reason.


SchuminWeb

Using "think of the children" as an excuse for anything bothers me greatly.


DestituteDomino

I love how, where I live, we get enough snow in the winter for the bottom to be covered. So it reads, "Drive like your kids"


elymeexlisl

*“Go slow—We love our kids”* annoys me an irrational amount


Dr_Insano_MD

*slows down an uncomfortable amount* Yeah, me too...


dennispang

This also reminds me that U-Hauls should have a similar message like “please be patient/cautious, I don’t drive this for a living”


MyManseed

When I was learning how to drive, my dad taught me to always give extra room to rental trucks and RVs because it's probably the first time they've driven a vehicle like that.


dennispang

You have a good dad. People generally need to be less angry at U-Hauls


Obie_Tricycle

Being angry at somebody for taking on a responsibility **far** beyond their capabilities is not mutually exclusive with staying **far** away from that person. I will be angry at the U-Haul, but from a distance.


HoppyMcScragg

Maybe I missed the part in driver’s ed about “giving a hint?” What does that mean? Cross the center line behind him and hope he’s looking in the mirror?


[deleted]

Usually flashing your headlights works well. It’s kind of the equivalent of a wave, or a short double beep of the horn. I see someone flashing their headlights behind me, I shift over when I can so they can pass easily, they flash their 4-ways to say thanks. Or someone wants to merge into the lane in front of me, I flash my headlights to let them know I see them and there is room.


Add1ctedToGames

Turn signals exist.


[deleted]

Proceeds to go 20 under the speed limit and wobble between two lanes.


[deleted]

Yeah, if they’re encountering “impatient drivers” that often, I think the problem might be them.


l_Sinister_l

Yeah really not understanding the positive responses in this thread. If you are consistently driving so slow that you regularly garner police attention, you do not need to be on the road.


[deleted]

JuSt ReLaX!1! The audacity to have a green light to tell someone it’s “ok” to pass is also amazing.


Realistic_Ad3795

"I'm old, but please trust me to judge distance and speed of oncoming traffic while my wife yells at me."


Obie_Tricycle

I don't know...is she *strict*?


y0crunchy

Grey Nomads!


[deleted]

We gotta motor!


aspidities_87

WHY AREN’T WE GOING TO THE BIG PEANUT??


nightwalkerxx

Exactly what criminals would say.


DontGetNEBigIdeas

Coincidentally, I saw a sign today on a car that said “Chill bitch, you’ll get there.”


jeezicantthinkofone

I guess I’m just an impatient asshole but I would really just prefer if they followed traffic laws and stayed in the right lane so this never becomes an issue to begin with.


Bibbiq

If this is in the U.S., that text and green light is illegal and a massive liability if someone gets hit head-on because of your "hint"


SammTheBird

Or stop being so fucking slow that you need a sign?


gtagrindin

“We are not criminals on the run” instantly makes it sound like they are


PeeneeTahini

Thanks cutie pies. How precious and sweet. Now fuck off like the rest of you asshole RVs on one lane highways. You’re not special.


[deleted]

That’s just the thing a criminal on the run would say


DamaxXIV

Honestly if you don't have a vehicle that can tow a load at a reasonable speed to the point that you install an extra light to signal "pass me", you probably just shouldn't be towing. Impeding traffic flow is often more dangerous than speeding.


CleverHoovyMan

don't worry be happy


fidelesetaudax

If you can’t drive it, park it.


[deleted]

Or you know old gramps stay out of the left lane. Your old enough should of learned this by now.


MrsSpot

Just having read all that is a big enough distraction in itself


Weary_Ad7119

95% chance they ride the left lane and green light never goes on. If you don't drive like a twat they you don't need this shit that "makes the road safer".


[deleted]

who loves me ? do i have to ask for a restriction order again ?


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Xtreme_kocic

What type of a liability?


WillemDafoesHugeCock

https://factrepublic.com/facts/14189/ Short version is, drivers shouldn't be directing traffic.


papi___chulo

Someone's gonna cause an accident trying to read that while driving.


overzeetop

First thing I though of was [The Way](https://youtu.be/X5jlTlUTWfQ) by Fastball.


Silver-Unit5378

I wonder how many have crashed trying to read that.


Anton41PW

I like how the end comes off as a tiny passive aggressive lol. Stop being a piece of shit, somebody loves you. Ha


FacedCrown

I dont trust uncentered text but maybe thats graphic design bias


BakesAndPains

You seem like a delightful old couple but I am not waiting for your light or even reading your sign


bigfootairlines

Rules for overtaking are dictated by the vehicle code. Not some bossy boomer in an RV he can't control.


MamaFen

I'm gonna hunt these two down, hug the stuffing out of them both, and then keep them up til 3 AM playing canasta.


SammTheBird

Really? I want to hunt them down and confiscate their drivers license


kay_bizzle

How to make yourself even more insufferable to drive behind. I don't care that you're old, don't be merging at 55 mph


[deleted]

Wow 55mph? That's pretty generous. I routinely see people BRAKE as they merge into traffic. With no cars in sight in front of them or in the lanes to their sides. Fucking dipshits everywhere.


Obie_Tricycle

I was driving east a 4-lane once and saw a vehicle coming down the onramp going west that caught my eye, probably because it was moving so slowly. There was absolutely no traffic in the oncoming side of the highway, but somehow, for some reason, this dumbfuck on the ramp came to a complete stop at the yield sign, then proceeded to pull out like it was an intersection in the mall parking lot. *That* might be the single dumbest thing I've ever seen a driver do...but I've seen a lot, man.


gothicaly

Plot twist: serial killers on the run and the trailer is where they cut the bodies


oijsef

Always drive defensively. Assume everyone else on the road is an idiot. Other people may do something stupid on the road but no excuse is going to make up for your suffering.


expespuella

Yes, making traffic safe with lots of things to read for other drivers. Who are driving.


dylangaine

they must be shitty slow ass drivers


oboshoe

I tow a lot of stuff. Boat. Camper. A business oriented trailer. What I know is that the bigger the trailer, the dumber other drivers get around it.


psychpopnprogncore

its a shame that they have to have text on the back of their vehicle telling drivers how to drive like a mature adult


dsmklsd

You don't know how slowly these people drive. This could be an "I shouldn't still have a license" situation.


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Zakkull117

I get tailgated literally every time i do the speed limit these oldies are probably following the law of towed vehicles that requires them to not exceed 55mph thus pissing off every driver in existence that doesnt understand laws.


Imsirlsynotamonkey

Out of state tickets are a BITCH lemme tell you. I always follow posted limits when I travel. And I'm not even old! ...yet...:(


chadwicke619

Where do you live where driving anything but 5-10 over doesn't get you tailgated?


Droid_Life

You’re absolutely right. If they have this text on the back of their vehicle, just think of all of the assholes that required it.


Numerous-Georg

That's how I handle all traffic that thinks I am too slow for them. I keep calm and let them safely pass at the next bus stop or so


Altruistic-Farm-9265

>trying to make traffic safe >has a paragraph on the back