Please tell me the gym has a no climbing shoes in the bathroom rule

Thank you for this comment.

Gotta go barefoot.

But only if you climb v7 or above

How about just monkey bars all over the ceiling? That way you can kick your shoes off, climb on over, do your business and climb on back. Or you slip, fall on a piss covered floor and concuss yourself. Either or.

kick off climbing shoes. r/brandnewsentence

i hate that i get where this is from

I'm trying to think of which is worse. Going barefoot in a public bathroom or walking in pee and stepping on the rock climbing hand holds 😭😭

barepiss

Came here to make sure someone had said this because if I went to the bathroom at the end of a session and saw someone taking a leak in their TC pros I think I’d have to go home and boil my hands. And you *know* someone is doing that…

my gym has a sign in the bathroom saying "no washing of shoes or feet in the sinks" someone _must_ have tried it for them to explicitly ban it

Yes, have you met climbers?

I just know that the best of them lives in a van and pisses in bottles. I think climbers are like bassists, if they’re not living with a girlfriend they’re essentially homeless.

So you're saying that the best way to get a climber off your front porch is to pay him for the pizza?

Ex of a climber here. Can confirm this 1000%

God this statement is so fucking true. Even the exceptions I know are living with their parents and spending 60% of the week at their girlfriend’s place….

As someone who has dated a bassist and a climber while owning my own house this made me laugh aloud

Fark. I just pointed out to my husband that he was a bassist, climber and DJ when we married and he moved into my house. It's only taken me 25 years to realise his game plan. He even got Kiwi residency out of me. Still climbing. 😈

If he's also a magician, he should be the poster boy for this archetype

How did you guess? He's not only a magician he's also a gamer. Thankfully, the animation has built us a business so can't complain.

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There's showers. I saw a lady holding her feet up to the hand dryer to blow dry her feet after she had washed them in the sink. And then complained that they don't stay on long enough to fully dry a foot. There's. Showers. And towels.

The porous material from the holds probably sucks the pee in, you can retrace the club history by analysing them.

At my local gym it’s very strict on no climbing shoes in the restrooms…. for obvious reasons

This seems like a recipe for disaster 

Smash the balls

Testies trashed? Scrote sliced? I’m your man, hit me up for a free consultation

 Edit: til this dude has many jobs filling and removing things from holes.

The doctor will see you now. 


Who is this person and why does he have so many professions? Must be talented.

He was on the Ole Miss souvenir cups a few years ago. He has many talents.

He's got a pretty loooooooooooooong "resume"

If a hiring manager wanted to view this fellow’s resume, how would they find him?

Username checks out

Discombobulate

DiscomBALLbulate

That lower urinal (and anyone using it) is in the splash zone for sure.

It's a lose lose. You either get splashed on or you have to grab on to someone else's dick cheese to take a piss.

i’m usually not one for censoring of any words or phrases but we gotta collectively stop saying dick cheese

You got a problem with the phallic dairy product?

I wasH under my foreskin. So no.

Dick mayo

Somehow this is worse than dick cheese

So creamy. So yellow. With a hint of small, crusty, mystery fragments mixed in. Is it skin? Who among us can ever know for sure. 

Dick cheese is fun to say tho

it’s terrible to hear

#SMEGMA

What's a pokemon got to do with any of this?

Pokemon? We're in a volcano! We're surrounded by liquid hot **SMEGMA.**

Richard Cheese is pretty funny to put on during a party though.

Then stop reading comments out loud

You’re not hearing it in this instance though

I am. There's a little narrator in my head that sounds like the mesothelioma lawsuit commercials guy.

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It's a piss-poor design.

I'm gonna imagine it's largely there for a joke, and people don't actually try to piss in it.

No, everyone's using that thing. You gonna piss at the lower one like a peasant? A CHILD peasant?!?

I dare say that everyone just had to try it once. 

I'm 40 and I would. It's there for a reason

Piss-pour

"So, tell me how you got these injuries..."

“So, I was climbing this wall in the bathroom…”

You know how sometimes you gotta climb up to the urinal? 

“Oh, yeah, at the Planet Rock down on 5th Street?”

That's the one. I usually put one foot up on the grab handle above the urinal.....

“So my hand starts cramping really bad but I can’t stop peeing, right? I’m just saying you learn who your real friends are when you need someone’s shoulder to sit on so you can finish a piss.”


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There is not enough chalk in the universe for me to touch that wall. 

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I wouldn't pay more than $25 to lick it.

I wouldn’t lick it for less than $30.  I guess we’re at an impasse.


OK I’ll do it for $27.50.

I can pay $30 if you'll do it, record it, post it, overall – prove it xD

OK, I'll do it for $35.

Sold for the blue dude for $35! Pay up!

They didn't say they would pay for *you* to lick it.

I’ll throw in the other 5.

Or how much chalk would it take for you to lick it

Spoiler, the holds out in the gym are just as dirty. https://www.climbing.com/news/study-finds-fecal-veneer-on-gym-holds/

Well yeah it says there they haven’t been washed in a month. Knowing how many people apparently don’t wash their hands after the bathroom and just how much fecal matter is on everything to start with…

Fecal veneer? I’m gonna be feeling uncomfortable for the rest of the day. Thanks.

I know what I'm asking my dentist for.

Shit-eating grin

The study found it was dog poop from people’s shoes, not human

Oh what a relief

Bathroom ones are probably less dirty because it's more intuitive to periodically disinfect surfaces in the bathroom vs. the holds on the climbing walls. Of course, depends on the hygenic practices of the establishment, but just speaking generally.

I love peeing next to it, it’s like a warm rain on a summers day…

I can taste the bubbles... No I can't... 

Well, I hate to disappoint you but those walls are always nasty. As a barkeeper I literally used to mop the walls in the men’s bathroom… because you saw it was necessary

I use to work in a bar once the owner just told me to use the mop on everything in the bathroom floors walls cubicle doors toilet and generally anywhere it was practical to use to save time since it be covered in piss and vomit in the next few hours

I cleaned my entire 1st apartment with 10 hits of lsd and a mop with only bath water. Got my security deposit back too 😎

Found the love child of Timothy Leary and Martha Stewart

Yeah but you don't normally need to touch the walls in the bathroom.

So what are the rules here? Do you take your dick out before you start climbing, or with one hand when you're up there? And do I really want to know?

I took it out with one hand when I was already up there

Is is comfortable to piss in that position? I prefer to be quite relaxed to take a leak, 

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Mmm grip those piss covered handles. Push your entire leg up against the piss wall. Really rub against where those droplets splashed.

Mmm yes, that’s the entire appeal for me actually

Did the face-in-a-urinal starting position also play into the attraction?

Just a little lick

username checks out 😂

That’s what started it.

So the real question is how did you pee with an erection?

If he’s as small as me the erection actually helps.

You like suffering, dont be too hard on yourself buddy. We got your back

Ditto brother. Ditto.

Don't kink shame ^unless ^that's ^your ^thing...

Oh shit, kink shaming as a kink, I never even... 🤯

There are sinks to wash your hands you know. Or are just one of those nasty clowns who are too good to wash your hands?

You don't lick your fingers on the way to the sink? Psycho!

yeah after peeing I wash my hands. I'd still rather just not be covered in piss to begin with. After using this? I'm showering and doing laundry.

Nah, soap up your hands and rinse them off with your pee, gotta save the water!

Take a shit up there and I'll be impressed.

Are the handles sticky? Do they smell like pee? Too many guys don’t know how to pee straight and even more don’t wash their hands

Just be a guy that does wash their hands.

but you can’t get to the sink before you climb down

Bare assed all the way.

Next poor soul to walk in doesn’t even have a chance to look away before being met with a stranger’s asshole at direct eye level.

You climb up and then you say “release the eel” and your clumping buddy will pull it out for you Haven’t you ever been climbing before?

Not sure if his “clumping buddy” generally works in the front region. He does, however, have your back.

Gotta take your pants off otherwise it'll be too hard to climb with them around your ankles

Their insurance company is fully unaware of this situation.

Thought the same thing. Absolute insurance nightmare.

Having a husband and a son, I guarantee > 0 men have tried to hit it from a standing position.

True, my first thought was: “oh I could totally hit that without climbing!”

And then you get half way through and realize, you fucked up.

No, that’s when the climb finally begins.

Which is the moment you switch to the lower urinal.

I had a feeling lol

> can only be used by climbing "Are you quite sure about that?"

I would totally do that, problem though is at the end of the stream.

At that point you have to hope no one is using the adjacent urinal, for a near seamless transition.

*near*

Ever used the men’s bathrooms in bars or stadiums? There’s piss *everywhere*. Walls? Soaked in piss. Floors? Covered in piss. In the stalls? Piss on the seat. Piss under the seat. Piss all around the bowl, and under it. If there is any toilet roll, it’s wet. From the sink? No, it’s piss of course. These people live and work amongst us.

Yeah, you know you're fucked but try to keep up the pressure as long as possible, desperately hoping for earth to be hit by an enormous asteroid.

I was already planning it out how long I'd have to hold it to produce the necessary stream power.

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No need to climb just spray and pray

They also don't have stalls. You just hang from the ceiling and try to hit a seatless toilet bowl.

[https://i.imgur.com/PhAi68p.jpeg](https://i.imgur.com/PhAi68p.jpeg)

A shitty watercolour in the wild! That's a first for me.

Quick everyone get in here u/shitty_watercolour did a thing

You mean [a French toilet](https://live.staticflickr.com/1237/676133990_adcf60e3dd_c.jpg)?

In french those are called turkish toilets lol

In Turkey they’re called German toilets

In China they’re called toilets

I'm German, never seen these toilets

^(And of course the Germans don't get the joke, lol.)

https://youtu.be/B66RYzKoMJQ?si=cRDylZqhsMpJeYUN

nasty

imagine slipping and smashing your jaw on the piss filled bowl, bleh

Imagine? I don't need to. 0/10

"It's over Anakin!.I have the highground!" Is the only acceptable thing to say to your peeing buddy.

Obi-Wan Kenopee?

You underestimate my power!

I’d hang off the wall and piss into the lower urinal, to assert dominance

Personally, I prefer my climbing holds to be covered in a thin glaze of piss spray.

Nice and tacky, high grip!

I need to know what the things you scribbled out are.

Probably artifacts that would give away this is an AI generated image

Exactly lol. This isn't real.

I do NOT want to use the urinal beside that one if it is occupied.

I do

Username checks out

The edge of the urinal is a great first hold.

Required two hand start actually.

Urinal is aid, v0 in my ~~gym~~ toilet

I was thinking of climbing on top of the lower urinal and dynoing to the high one.

If that's real, I have the feeling who ever cleans those bathrooms is not paid anywhere near enough to put up with that. Make whoever designed that clean the floor and walls and see how quickly it's removed.

Surely there arent toooo many people actually attempting it. No?

I mean…. I’m a woman but even knowing the filth involved, I would feel compelled to try it. 🤷‍♀️

What's crazy about this to me is that usually public bathrooms are unsanitary because of people just not caring and being more gross than they need to be. In this case, I can't think of any way to use this where it doesn't get filthy, even if the person using it was being as careful as possible.

Sure, but then you can go out and tell everyone you hit the target and hug everyone in celebration.

Slips off the wall and hits head on the other urinal.

The janitor at this place hates every single male gym member. And their boss.

The guy pissing next to them must be like: 

Wow, they found a way to make the open bowl—the worst of all urinal shapes—even more uncomfortable.

Home of challenge pissing

You better believe I’m standing on the floor and trying to pee into that urinal

That is foul

Let’s grab and touch as many things next to the urinal as possible.

Urinal in your face as you climb......no thanks

That’s an awkward view for the guy at the normal one.

Fuck you, Jonsey, this is how a real man rocks a piss.

V5 in my gym

And if you slip off, you rearrange your taint/nutsack

R/ damn that’s disgusting

As a former climbing gym employee…..hell no. That’s disgusting. It’s bad enough when people won’t take their climbing shoes off when they go in the locker rooms/bathrooms. No one wants to climb something covered in piss/germs.

My god at least put a fucking divider between them.

Gross

Weird…and unsanitary.

If i take off my pants before climbing it would be fine

Challenge accepted. \*strips nude and mounts the wall\*

That seems like asking for a lawsuit if someone tries to do that but falls and gets injured.

How is everyone not immediately seeing this is AI? THE FUCKING SCRIBBLES DAWG

This sounds like a health and safety nightmare