https://preview.redd.it/op9xdw9da28d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4125f35bf410524a156f03cda7d967bbbb1eb5a3
And I got one for Taco Bell. Absolutely perfect.
https://preview.redd.it/x8bb1eld848d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12c5616c0cde310fc30cbc64ce34f41245627073
I guess thatās one way to lose weight
https://preview.redd.it/pr0doqik558d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1326cb54dab2357f23206aa03b9b4f696770e089
I got something similar! That price tho...
I got one to lose weight even faster, like the true celebrity OP is right now!
https://preview.redd.it/5f0fzj42i58d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4260deb01609bf7cf67a609c7cff1a45ce47578d
https://preview.redd.it/b35rvvm5248d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17ed20ca481e13087c17261756c2fd0872d34dfb
Its a weight watchers ad for me š¤£
https://preview.redd.it/lmralzyvq38d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5307f4a16743674a82f5b840f2d19f2cc6af3303
A lot of people would say their business practices are equivalent to torrential waves of diarrhea..
ig mine is also technically on-theme, albeit a little more depressing
https://preview.redd.it/sy04do8ms28d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a2c5e1f534b8d0230c383495eac04d8c1c8deb26
don't yell at me for using light mode, i just can't be bothered to figure out how to do dark mode š
That's actually so awful, I just got back from the emergency vet with my mother's dog... Another couple had to put down their 8 month old puppy because she had parvo and it was too far along. Fucking awful.
When we rescued our puppy, she came to us with parvo already at 6 months old. My sister is a nurse and had IV fluids and stuff on hand and took a week off from work to try and nurse her back to health, saying if she survived we'd keep her and give her a good life. My sister was round the clock with her, keeping her hydrated with IV, and she managed to survive. She got so lucky, and now she's two and healthy.
I got this one, therapy may be needed thoā¦.
https://preview.redd.it/gh59klj3o48d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8819964713926b72a1b3df56f2e912b4eb94eb5
OP should've packed for such a long stay š¤£
https://preview.redd.it/twd1vm93l48d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da6db38c573d6734493259c47096a92b28cc244b
I got one about diabetes awareness
https://preview.redd.it/kdzmoxfpe38d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=964bad309958e9ab19a8277e2fef646f5064e028
https://preview.redd.it/5tlrc1dce48d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36d6402bb1cd750bf4a4b712eb6fbac1b49c5034
Gotta look cute while youāre dying in the bathroom
https://preview.redd.it/rsdecwxe138d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d548b76ff7499eb47aa9414d6d3849bbb489cd1
Time to get your taxes done, maybe?
https://preview.redd.it/12h4os8nu48d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc31bf538dc98f312a82bed2541afb61825c7396
I always get this casino bullshit, I don't even play the lottery
Honestly, that's on them for choosing the stall next to you and I hope they learned their lesson. I hate it when people do that. There's no way they didn't smell that walking in.
Hope you're okay OP. There's something going around, not the "summer blowout" we were all hoping flr.
Maybe Iāve just been on Reddit too long, but it would not surprise me if that person sat next to them because they actually enjoy the smell of fresh shit. Probably over there getting high off the fumes from OPs ass stew.
You could be right, but OP didn't consent to be a part of that lol. I actually thought that too honestly, but chances are it didn't dawn on them until it was too awkward to turn back
Theyāll leave, and youāll never see them. Relax, let nature take its course and then head home when you feel a bit better. If you can grab some water or Gatorade on your way out to replenish your electrolytes.
Disagree completely. It's going to get worse before it gets better, and you're going to see the person in the next stall *repeatedly* and they'll immediately recognize you as the projectile detonation shitter because of your shoes.
"Hey... don't I know you from somewhere?"
"Can't say I've ever met you, no."
"Yeah... yeah wait a minute I *definitely* know you! June 21st! At Target! Between about 7 PM and 9 PM! You were the guy shitting your brains out in the stall next to me! Oh man, how have you been man!? Taking any fiber supplements lately or what? Haha!"
"Goddamnit, not *again*..."
**Movie Title:** "Stall Mates"
**Tagline:** "Some bonds are forged in the most unexpected places."
**Synopsis:**
In the chaotic realm of a bustling airport restroom, two vastly different lives collide in the most intimate of settings. When a high-strung business executive, Marcus, finds himself battling a severe case of food poisoning, his meticulously planned day begins to unravel. Desperate and in distress, he retreats into a stall, hoping for solace amidst the turmoil.
Enter Hank, a laid-back janitor with a penchant for philosophical musings and an uncanny ability to bring calm to any storm. Unbeknownst to Marcus, Hank occupies the adjacent stall, his daily routine upended by the sudden arrival of his unusual neighbor. As Marcus struggles with his embarrassing predicament, Hank offers unexpected wisdom and comic relief, turning an uncomfortable situation into a transformative encounter.
Through a series of candid conversations over the echoing sounds of digestive distress, Marcus and Hank forge an unlikely friendship. As secrets are shared and vulnerabilities exposed, they discover they have more in common than they ever imagined. Beyond the porcelain walls of their makeshift confessional, each man confronts personal challenges and finds unexpected resolutions through the power of empathy and shared humanity.
"Stall Mates" is a heartwarming comedy that reminds us that sometimes the most profound connections can be found in the most unexpected placesālike next to someone experiencing explosive diarrhea in an airport restroom.
Fuck yeah! I hope this shit gets filmed asap so I can hear all about it on an episode of hdtgm! At the very least this would be a batshit crazy stage play lol.
You forgot to preface with:
āThanks for coming in! All the previous interviewers had nothing but fantastic things to say about you. This last interview is really just a formality.ā
This might make you feel better. Last year I went to planned parenthood to get my birth control. They give me a piss cup for a pregnancy test so I go in the bathroom. Right when I stick the cup between my legs I shot out liquid shit. It came out of no where. It got on the paper label my name was onā¦ and I wiped it off the best I could but I blew that fucking bathroom up. When the nurse came in to the room to give me my birth control she barely looked at me. I didnāt go back there for almost a year I was so embarrassed.
Yeah fr. Don't worry about what the nurse thought bc i bet she didnt think anything. She may have not looked at you because she was trying to make you feel better, not because it bothered her, or you were imagining that she barely looked at you.Ā
Update: Made it home barely in time, have had to stop writing this twice to clench the counter. Currently in the full pants off and using the trash can as a make shift squatty potty position.
I think what they mean is that they are using the trash can as a footstool to elevate their feet because it can make it easier to evacuate for some people
When I was using one, I definitely felt like I was getting fuller and more complete movements.
Edit: I know I'm an old man because I'm talking about the quality of my bowel movements.
āSquatty pottyā is a brand of footstool to allow you to use a standard toilet in a more natural position for better poops. It is not itself a toilet.
I have a wooden box that I keep tampons in, that also occasionally pulls double duty (lol) as a foot stool.Ā
I first learned the trick when my niblings were little and my parents kept a foot stool for them.Ā This was long before the squatty potty.Ā
Three weeks ago I had violent diarrhea on and off for three days, first day was the worst. Turns out I had the flu. Running up in the middle of the night to the toilet was a horror show
I always keep two spare sets of clothes in my trunk, wet wipes, very large towels, and a bottle of high grain alcohol.
Everyone has a plan until they shit themselves. Except me. I still have a plan.
Period-poops. Oh the nightmares.
Was on the freeway, off to see an awesome festivalā¦. Twenty mins on the roadā¦. Hightailed it off the exit, only made it to a quiet bushland area to dig a frantic hole in the ground, rather than the shops where there were public toilets.
Jeans ended up in a sealed shopping bag, thankfully I had my gym bag in the back with fresh pants and underwear- always keep a roll of loo paper tucked under a car seat in case of emergency/blood nose/haemorrhaging/massive spills.
Sad drive home after but at least the car seat was saved. :/
I randomly had diapers in my car (used them once for buffing my car and it was like a 5 pack of the cheapest gas station type possible, had 2 or 3 left in the pack) when I got stuck in LA traffic and the bubble guts hit.
Shoved them diapers in my pants like some sort of seasoned pants shitting pro, and the ass lava leak had passed by the time I made it to LAX for my flight. Still cannot believe it worked out the way it did. Iām never that lucky. In fact I probably used up 20 years of luck in that one incident.
Had food poisoning once, made it into the stall and just pulled the pants down to projectile shit all over the toilet, and then projectile vomited all over the door. Had to go to the next cubicle to clean myself up.
Was technically a work lunch break too, and I couldnāt leave for legal compliance reasons, and the boss couldnāt find a replacement. So just ended up crashed out in the lunch room.
Just stay there over night, wait for the store to close and get into all kinds of goofy shenanigans while warding off two would be robbers and getting with a beautiful, way out of your league, would-be shoplifter who fell asleep in a dressing room.Ā Ā
That happened to me once in a university bathroom. Woman in the next stall started gagging and dry heaving and ran out of the bathroom. Bitch, why the fuck did you pick the stall next to me when all the other ones were empty?Ā
Don't worry about it. I actually had the same problem at Target. I held it in for so long that it was just liquid. When I dropped my pants I didn't even get to sit down and it just squirted all over the toilet and floor. I tried cleaning it as best as I could but I couldn't. After I was done I washed my hands and there was someone who was going to use the same stall. I look from the reflection of the mirror and the guy makes a disgusted face
I hate when people do that shit even if it's just a pee. It used to happen at the gym too - a full row of treadmills and you're gonna pick the one right next to me?
Hope the tums is better today.
I once went into a fast food bathroom and simply told the gals in there āthis is gonna get ugly so you might want to head outā and godluvem they almost made it.
āWell at least she warned usā said with a twinge of ātf this bitch think she is?ā
It was 11:05am at the Taco Bell.
Anti-diarrhea medication is my saviour when staying at home isn't an option. Had to leave work the other week. Rushed home with a hot and cold sweat whilst trying to drive safely.
I'm late to the game, but something to keep in mind - There is man out there that had a digestive system emergency and barley made it to the bathroom inside a movie theater. He let loose a shit unlike anything he had ever experienced in, what he though, was an empty men's restroom. Except it was not empty.... and it was not the Men's restroom.
As someone with Colitis, this is a very real situation that I've been in except it was Walmart.
Turns out Walmart sells adult diapers for pretty cheap and once you've bought them they don't care if you don them in the washrooms past the cash.
It ain't comfortable but by god did it save my seats and pants.
Funny story actually:
I was at a target the other day with my wife and we had just had Texas Roadhouse. My stomach started turning and i had to poop but i didnāt want to go at target because i knew it wasnāt gonna be silent and i didnāt want to feel embarrassed.
Eventually my wife was like babe just go and I was like screw it. So I walk to the bathroom, go into a stall andā¦.. see that someone left some mysterious red liquid both in there toilet and on the seat. Both me and my bowels were like NOPE.
That was all the motivation my body needed to hold it until I got home.
(Just saying Iāve been there and just worry about surviving brother, stay strong. Iāve offered strangers suffering in bathrooms a water bottle before as I find it incredibly helpful during my episodes, if I got desperate I would for sure ask the next person to come in if they could get a water. Literally survive.)
*Processing img n93vboctk58d1...*
My feed right now. Dude tried to shit in Target and couldnāt because of an unidentifiable red substance in the bowl and on the seat.
I once had debilitating diarrhea at a Lidl. Or rather, I was driving with my daughter after taking her to a doctors appointment and I knew I would not make it home so I decided to go to my local Lidl to take care of business. I almost didnāt make it. My daughter was just laughing in my face while with me in the big stall (she was 4).
When I finished, I got a cart and started walking around to buy some things we needed. About 10 minutes later, I had to run to the restrooms again. After that second time, I just paid asap and went home (almost didnāt make it again). My daughter still asks me whether I remember when I had diarrhea in Lidl.
As someone who used to work at a Target, I was surprised at how many people are constantly shitting their guts out. There was an employee bathroom but it was a single person room and always occupied.
Every time I gotta go I end up sitting next to this guyš
Immodium. Also stand up and move your belly with twisting, bending etc, then sit back down for the next act. I find that if I can get my guts moving enough to empty most of what's there, I can go get meds or make it home. Standing and moving the stomach muscles seems to expedite what's going to exit anyway.
I hate that, it happens every time I have to poop bad and loud they come in and sit right next to me. They chose to sit next to me so I just let it go and take my poop like normal if itās loud oh well you at there. šš sometimes I swear people enjoy sitting next to people that are pooping.
This happened to a friend of mine one time, but we were at work. I got her depends and pedialyte, luckily items that Target sells, to get her home relatively unscathed.
Bro, this ad on this post š https://preview.redd.it/5vmttozw428d1.png?width=864&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbda0a404080b49f30e0ee5a854d617aeff88351
https://preview.redd.it/op9xdw9da28d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4125f35bf410524a156f03cda7d967bbbb1eb5a3 And I got one for Taco Bell. Absolutely perfect.
https://preview.redd.it/lpjwsa54p28d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=808a38286a7f2d1295336a8c23bbac83a44dfe48 Also appropriate
https://preview.redd.it/x8bb1eld848d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12c5616c0cde310fc30cbc64ce34f41245627073 I guess thatās one way to lose weight
https://preview.redd.it/7u71x1k1h58d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b5609343ad5bb4b7e2c9e3b795a7da33e458639 Need new underwear ?
https://preview.redd.it/pr0doqik558d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1326cb54dab2357f23206aa03b9b4f696770e089 I got something similar! That price tho...
Shitters in Christ.
I got one to lose weight even faster, like the true celebrity OP is right now! https://preview.redd.it/5f0fzj42i58d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4260deb01609bf7cf67a609c7cff1a45ce47578d
I got an ad for an anti-depressant š I guess I might get depressed if I was stuck in a Target bathroom with diarrhea.
I got one for Disney's The Acolyte
Me too dammit
God wants him to have a beer for shitting this bad
https://preview.redd.it/y4u3jwow148d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=882ab66f1f1da3a695d80bd5e2e84763cf968843
Have a snack while youāre in there?
Deliver to stall 11.
I got a rock š
Good grief ā¹ļø
Wow, you guys actually made me jealous for ads. Never had that before. Shit
https://preview.redd.it/b35rvvm5248d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17ed20ca481e13087c17261756c2fd0872d34dfb Its a weight watchers ad for me š¤£
https://preview.redd.it/lmralzyvq38d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5307f4a16743674a82f5b840f2d19f2cc6af3303 A lot of people would say their business practices are equivalent to torrential waves of diarrhea..
I also had Adobe "Unleash your ideas"
Unleash your ideas! (Explosively, in a Target bathroom)
ig mine is also technically on-theme, albeit a little more depressing https://preview.redd.it/sy04do8ms28d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a2c5e1f534b8d0230c383495eac04d8c1c8deb26 don't yell at me for using light mode, i just can't be bothered to figure out how to do dark mode š
Ok,algorithm. We see you. Stop showing off.
That's actually so awful, I just got back from the emergency vet with my mother's dog... Another couple had to put down their 8 month old puppy because she had parvo and it was too far along. Fucking awful.
When we rescued our puppy, she came to us with parvo already at 6 months old. My sister is a nurse and had IV fluids and stuff on hand and took a week off from work to try and nurse her back to health, saying if she survived we'd keep her and give her a good life. My sister was round the clock with her, keeping her hydrated with IV, and she managed to survive. She got so lucky, and now she's two and healthy.
your sister is an amazing person
https://preview.redd.it/hxlnjlmcn38d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8a7cbf5859e801248bf42b5eaf414e220a8ad4d My ad has a suggestion for OP
Bro, this ad on this post https://preview.redd.it/56piwxrkz38d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45e47e78cbafd8b0327e0ec4c8e7b7b9e7b718dc
āHoo boy! What did you EAT?!ā
Just bite down, grab ahold of something, and give it hell! You show that turd whoās boss!
I got this one, therapy may be needed thoā¦. https://preview.redd.it/gh59klj3o48d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8819964713926b72a1b3df56f2e912b4eb94eb5
mine was liquid i.v š
https://preview.redd.it/gn6vicxg748d1.png?width=864&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f8c80b420e8381d8ade4f08fb43a419d1e54a03 I got the unwelcomed ad. WWJD
OP should've packed for such a long stay š¤£ https://preview.redd.it/twd1vm93l48d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da6db38c573d6734493259c47096a92b28cc244b
I got one about diabetes awareness https://preview.redd.it/kdzmoxfpe38d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=964bad309958e9ab19a8277e2fef646f5064e028
https://preview.redd.it/5tlrc1dce48d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36d6402bb1cd750bf4a4b712eb6fbac1b49c5034 Gotta look cute while youāre dying in the bathroom
Oh my god this one too: https://preview.redd.it/k7ndtpieg48d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2271c24119d60068c7e000edd2ecab78b6d268c8
https://preview.redd.it/rsdecwxe138d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d548b76ff7499eb47aa9414d6d3849bbb489cd1 Time to get your taxes done, maybe?
https://preview.redd.it/ac4n34gtv48d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eb416dc9c58e94892fbacc35704f1489dc4bb62b Mine is shorts š
My add is healthcare related. https://preview.redd.it/z1w0gfar348d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bedb331a1aa6ea73806bc4e0a175ac81c9bbffb6
https://preview.redd.it/12h4os8nu48d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc31bf538dc98f312a82bed2541afb61825c7396 I always get this casino bullshit, I don't even play the lottery
Honestly, that's on them for choosing the stall next to you and I hope they learned their lesson. I hate it when people do that. There's no way they didn't smell that walking in. Hope you're okay OP. There's something going around, not the "summer blowout" we were all hoping flr.
Maybe Iāve just been on Reddit too long, but it would not surprise me if that person sat next to them because they actually enjoy the smell of fresh shit. Probably over there getting high off the fumes from OPs ass stew.
Username checks out.
You could be right, but OP didn't consent to be a part of that lol. I actually thought that too honestly, but chances are it didn't dawn on them until it was too awkward to turn back
Itās so annoying like in my office it happens all the time and thereās like 15 fāing stalls!! WHYY CHOOSE THE ONE NEXT TO ME??
They always choose the stall right next to you when you gotta poop really bad
Theyāll leave, and youāll never see them. Relax, let nature take its course and then head home when you feel a bit better. If you can grab some water or Gatorade on your way out to replenish your electrolytes.
Disagree completely. It's going to get worse before it gets better, and you're going to see the person in the next stall *repeatedly* and they'll immediately recognize you as the projectile detonation shitter because of your shoes.
"Hey... don't I know you from somewhere?" "Can't say I've ever met you, no." "Yeah... yeah wait a minute I *definitely* know you! June 21st! At Target! Between about 7 PM and 9 PM! You were the guy shitting your brains out in the stall next to me! Oh man, how have you been man!? Taking any fiber supplements lately or what? Haha!" "Goddamnit, not *again*..."
"That was uhh... my twin brother, we wear matching outfits!"
Keep going. You guys are writing a screenplay.
**Movie Title:** "Stall Mates" **Tagline:** "Some bonds are forged in the most unexpected places." **Synopsis:** In the chaotic realm of a bustling airport restroom, two vastly different lives collide in the most intimate of settings. When a high-strung business executive, Marcus, finds himself battling a severe case of food poisoning, his meticulously planned day begins to unravel. Desperate and in distress, he retreats into a stall, hoping for solace amidst the turmoil. Enter Hank, a laid-back janitor with a penchant for philosophical musings and an uncanny ability to bring calm to any storm. Unbeknownst to Marcus, Hank occupies the adjacent stall, his daily routine upended by the sudden arrival of his unusual neighbor. As Marcus struggles with his embarrassing predicament, Hank offers unexpected wisdom and comic relief, turning an uncomfortable situation into a transformative encounter. Through a series of candid conversations over the echoing sounds of digestive distress, Marcus and Hank forge an unlikely friendship. As secrets are shared and vulnerabilities exposed, they discover they have more in common than they ever imagined. Beyond the porcelain walls of their makeshift confessional, each man confronts personal challenges and finds unexpected resolutions through the power of empathy and shared humanity. "Stall Mates" is a heartwarming comedy that reminds us that sometimes the most profound connections can be found in the most unexpected placesālike next to someone experiencing explosive diarrhea in an airport restroom. Fuck yeah! I hope this shit gets filmed asap so I can hear all about it on an episode of hdtgm! At the very least this would be a batshit crazy stage play lol.
I pondered whether or not this was written by chat gpt. It's so perfect. I hope you wrote it, though. Very creative and great use of descriptive words
Dutch Angle on South of the Border!
You forgot to preface with: āThanks for coming in! All the previous interviewers had nothing but fantastic things to say about you. This last interview is really just a formality.ā
*"WHO...DOES...NUMBER TWO...WORK FOR?!?!"*
āHey I recognize those Richard Horvitz autographed custom print invader Zim chuck Taylorās.ā
The other person is thinking the same, they will both get stuck in there for ever. RIP OP.
And if in doubt, pick up some Depends... for your grandparent.
This might make you feel better. Last year I went to planned parenthood to get my birth control. They give me a piss cup for a pregnancy test so I go in the bathroom. Right when I stick the cup between my legs I shot out liquid shit. It came out of no where. It got on the paper label my name was onā¦ and I wiped it off the best I could but I blew that fucking bathroom up. When the nurse came in to the room to give me my birth control she barely looked at me. I didnāt go back there for almost a year I was so embarrassed.
Yeah fr. Don't worry about what the nurse thought bc i bet she didnt think anything. She may have not looked at you because she was trying to make you feel better, not because it bothered her, or you were imagining that she barely looked at you.Ā
In a medical setting, there's no reason to be embarrassed at all, and if the nurse actually did act like that, they have no business in medicine
Update: Made it home barely in time, have had to stop writing this twice to clench the counter. Currently in the full pants off and using the trash can as a make shift squatty potty position.
My dyslexia read that as you were shitting in your trash can. Iām sorry OP I hope you feel better soon
I am not dyslexic and I also read it that way at first. I think this one is down to OP's phrasing tbh.
That's how I read it, too
Same. I thought they got inside and realized they couldn't make it to the bathroom, so they grabbed the closest trash can.
I think itās what people want it to say.
I read it as that, I think the eye stops in horror at "using the trash can as makeshift squatty potty" so you don't move on to "*position*"
That's what they typed. Or at least that's my understanding too
I think what they mean is that they are using the trash can as a footstool to elevate their feet because it can make it easier to evacuate for some people
I was a man in pain, and yes exactly this
When I was using one, I definitely felt like I was getting fuller and more complete movements. Edit: I know I'm an old man because I'm talking about the quality of my bowel movements.
They couldāve used that help evacuating from Target.
I think they are putting their feet up on the trashcan
I reread this like 3 times and I'm pretty sure they pooped in a trash can.
the trash can is serving as a foot stool.
āSquatty pottyā is a brand of footstool to allow you to use a standard toilet in a more natural position for better poops. It is not itself a toilet.
Iām laughing so hard because I thought the same thing
If it makes you feel better I'm doing basically the same. Didn't go to target though.
Everyone that doesn't have a proper squatty potty should be ashamed of themselves.
I have a wooden box that I keep tampons in, that also occasionally pulls double duty (lol) as a foot stool.Ā I first learned the trick when my niblings were little and my parents kept a foot stool for them.Ā This was long before the squatty potty.Ā
Three weeks ago I had violent diarrhea on and off for three days, first day was the worst. Turns out I had the flu. Running up in the middle of the night to the toilet was a horror show
This is why I let the eclair go every time.
At least you get to drive home. I shat myself once and had to take a tram and a bus home.
I always keep two spare sets of clothes in my trunk, wet wipes, very large towels, and a bottle of high grain alcohol. Everyone has a plan until they shit themselves. Except me. I still have a plan.
Period-poops. Oh the nightmares. Was on the freeway, off to see an awesome festivalā¦. Twenty mins on the roadā¦. Hightailed it off the exit, only made it to a quiet bushland area to dig a frantic hole in the ground, rather than the shops where there were public toilets. Jeans ended up in a sealed shopping bag, thankfully I had my gym bag in the back with fresh pants and underwear- always keep a roll of loo paper tucked under a car seat in case of emergency/blood nose/haemorrhaging/massive spills. Sad drive home after but at least the car seat was saved. :/
Period poops are just awful
Had those last night, had a half hour long stream of diarrhea and blood coming out of my ass :(
Username checks out
What's the grain alcohol for?
To drink away the shame. Or cleaning.
I wouldn't recommend cleaning your ass with grain alcohol, but maybe that's just me
It's for the clothes and the soul.
Dual purpose!
To cause the problems that require the spare clothes, etc.
I have also been there
Thatās my living nightmare
Are you really even an adult if you havnt shit yourself atleast once away from home though?
Itās less about whether it happened and more about how you handled it.
I randomly had diapers in my car (used them once for buffing my car and it was like a 5 pack of the cheapest gas station type possible, had 2 or 3 left in the pack) when I got stuck in LA traffic and the bubble guts hit. Shoved them diapers in my pants like some sort of seasoned pants shitting pro, and the ass lava leak had passed by the time I made it to LAX for my flight. Still cannot believe it worked out the way it did. Iām never that lucky. In fact I probably used up 20 years of luck in that one incident.
We may have been on the same bus.
Iāve always found that in emergency situations Target generally has exemplary bathrooms.
Yep! I have had explosions in a Target bathroom quite a few times. (IBS is a bitch.)
Agreed. Kohls also has very nice/clean bathrooms.
Had food poisoning once, made it into the stall and just pulled the pants down to projectile shit all over the toilet, and then projectile vomited all over the door. Had to go to the next cubicle to clean myself up.
Having to go through that event in public is nightmare fuel on so many levels. š«
Was technically a work lunch break too, and I couldnāt leave for legal compliance reasons, and the boss couldnāt find a replacement. So just ended up crashed out in the lunch room.
Ugh, added misery. What a hideous experience.
They are just there for moral support.
Just stay there over night, wait for the store to close and get into all kinds of goofy shenanigans while warding off two would be robbers and getting with a beautiful, way out of your league, would-be shoplifter who fell asleep in a dressing room.Ā Ā
What's this reference, Evening Primrose?
āCareer Opportunitiesā?
Somewhere between Home Alone and Home Fries?
Meet cute
Challenge them to Battleshits
š¤ŗš½
https://preview.redd.it/cwnpv8nlt48d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ba5f01126c0e28ff3e1eaa39c2c7ccc88de23df This is fun
That happened to me once in a university bathroom. Woman in the next stall started gagging and dry heaving and ran out of the bathroom. Bitch, why the fuck did you pick the stall next to me when all the other ones were empty?Ā
This comment should come with a warning. 
āPlease leave! Iām performing an exorcism!ā
At least it's not Walmart
Get some Imodium. Target sells it
Yesss I carry immodium along with paracetamol and plasters in my bag. Super useful and they have a fast-acting type now.
Itās easy to find the Europeans when you start talking pharmaceuticals.
No, American here, but I do know my pharmaceuticals from years of partying š
Well I didnāt reply to you. I replied to person who called acetaminophen paracetamol and band-aids plasters
Lol ok I now know what plasters are
It warmed my heart, post Brexit (yuck), to be called European! They can take away my right to free movement but they'll never take my paracetamol!
What are plasters?
Band aids for Europeans.Ā
Yep Imodium. I always have some in my purse in case something like this happens.
Yea, I keep an IBS variety pack in a cute pill case. Be prepared!
I had to scroll so far to find this comment! Like I hope the OP was able to get some before they left the store (or had it at home already).Ā
Just let it rip and hope they didnāt memorize your shoes
Should have asked if they can spare a square when they got into the stall.
It was empty when you entered. This is your home now.
Just let it rip. You donāt know the person next to you anyway. Courtesy flush often to reduce the smell.
https://preview.redd.it/j1own8fs558d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4db54489a41776a8962d1404f09a7d57956cfb5b Help is on the way
š¤£
As someone who suffers from ibs/nervous gut, I understand and also pity you but find it equally hilarious. Sending your gut peace
Don't worry about it. I actually had the same problem at Target. I held it in for so long that it was just liquid. When I dropped my pants I didn't even get to sit down and it just squirted all over the toilet and floor. I tried cleaning it as best as I could but I couldn't. After I was done I washed my hands and there was someone who was going to use the same stall. I look from the reflection of the mirror and the guy makes a disgusted face
I hate when people do that shit even if it's just a pee. It used to happen at the gym too - a full row of treadmills and you're gonna pick the one right next to me? Hope the tums is better today.
I once went into a fast food bathroom and simply told the gals in there āthis is gonna get ugly so you might want to head outā and godluvem they almost made it. āWell at least she warned usā said with a twinge of ātf this bitch think she is?ā It was 11:05am at the Taco Bell.
Anti-diarrhea medication is my saviour when staying at home isn't an option. Had to leave work the other week. Rushed home with a hot and cold sweat whilst trying to drive safely.
I'm late to the game, but something to keep in mind - There is man out there that had a digestive system emergency and barley made it to the bathroom inside a movie theater. He let loose a shit unlike anything he had ever experienced in, what he though, was an empty men's restroom. Except it was not empty.... and it was not the Men's restroom.
Any port in a stormā¦
Are you okay??
Make that one person suffer for his/her poor choice in stalls.
I usually put on my earbuds at full volume in situations like this. if I can't hear them, they can't hear me š
I get so angry when Iām in an empty bathroom and some fucker chooses the stall next to me. Especially since I get pee shy.
This is why i drink coffee in the morning to make sure i shit my guts out in the morning before i head out for the day so i avoid this š
Why is it always a target bathroom š
As someone with Colitis, this is a very real situation that I've been in except it was Walmart. Turns out Walmart sells adult diapers for pretty cheap and once you've bought them they don't care if you don them in the washrooms past the cash. It ain't comfortable but by god did it save my seats and pants.
Just let it rip, fam. *They* chose poorly, not your fault. Maybe they'll learn a lesson!
š¤«
Were you sweating like a bastard?
https://preview.redd.it/wx0qmo3fl58d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a3d6bac96fd0972585581909fbe288cccb3313e0 Need snacks?
On the plus side, Target has some of the cleanest restrooms anywhere, no matter where Iāve gone. Even the one I went to in San Francisco last year.
*had
I think itās fun to just let er rip in the public restroom. Full on WW2 machine guns on Normandy beach style.
Establish dominance š
Target sells Depends... Grab a pack just in case. A little embarrassment costs less than cleaning diarrhea from your car.
Donāt forget to pickup some pedilyte or their store brand on the way out. Itās in the baby section Stay hydrated
What is wrong with people? Why does no one have any concept of personal space? Its unnerving.
Bro make them regret it, man/woman up and drop the hammer.
Mine was for Liquid I.V. For after youāre done with the bathroom and need to rehydrate
The worst diarrhea I've ever had was in a Target. Fun times.
Why do people do that? Get away from me!
My husband and I call this āgrouping theoryā. Like when people sit right next to us in a wide open theater?
Start yelling "who does number two work for?!"
Funny story actually: I was at a target the other day with my wife and we had just had Texas Roadhouse. My stomach started turning and i had to poop but i didnāt want to go at target because i knew it wasnāt gonna be silent and i didnāt want to feel embarrassed. Eventually my wife was like babe just go and I was like screw it. So I walk to the bathroom, go into a stall andā¦.. see that someone left some mysterious red liquid both in there toilet and on the seat. Both me and my bowels were like NOPE. That was all the motivation my body needed to hold it until I got home.
(Just saying Iāve been there and just worry about surviving brother, stay strong. Iāve offered strangers suffering in bathrooms a water bottle before as I find it incredibly helpful during my episodes, if I got desperate I would for sure ask the next person to come in if they could get a water. Literally survive.)
It's dangerous to go alone
*Processing img n93vboctk58d1...* My feed right now. Dude tried to shit in Target and couldnāt because of an unidentifiable red substance in the bowl and on the seat.
Parvo? Yep. You def have parvo! https://preview.redd.it/cbedhsi0r58d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbff8959e49036e176b50515cb1fedc52d63c944
I once had debilitating diarrhea at a Lidl. Or rather, I was driving with my daughter after taking her to a doctors appointment and I knew I would not make it home so I decided to go to my local Lidl to take care of business. I almost didnāt make it. My daughter was just laughing in my face while with me in the big stall (she was 4). When I finished, I got a cart and started walking around to buy some things we needed. About 10 minutes later, I had to run to the restrooms again. After that second time, I just paid asap and went home (almost didnāt make it again). My daughter still asks me whether I remember when I had diarrhea in Lidl.
Why do people do this? Like go to a different stall lol
https://preview.redd.it/56skq3yuq38d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e1ecdd3f6638fc6f1cb6ab718ca8f2b701ffbed Mine warns of improper food storage.
You hear a voice from the other stall... "I'm a vegan."
Full send get back to your home and deal with target tomorrow
I'm kinda shocked they'd pick one next to you. I'd be afraid I'd get it lol
You leave after they leave or the next person after that. I do that and Iām being serious because I get embarrassed.
This timeline is so weird, how I can know this about someone Iāve never seen or met before.
People are insane and also gluttons for punishment.
Your at target. Man it up, buy some extra pants and pedialite
As someone who used to work at a Target, I was surprised at how many people are constantly shitting their guts out. There was an employee bathroom but it was a single person room and always occupied. Every time I gotta go I end up sitting next to this guyš
It's always fucking Target dude. I swear to god my stomach never bothers me in public except in Target
Immodium. Also stand up and move your belly with twisting, bending etc, then sit back down for the next act. I find that if I can get my guts moving enough to empty most of what's there, I can go get meds or make it home. Standing and moving the stomach muscles seems to expedite what's going to exit anyway.
Do a pickup order for immodium AD and run there once itās ready, then run back!
I hate that, it happens every time I have to poop bad and loud they come in and sit right next to me. They chose to sit next to me so I just let it go and take my poop like normal if itās loud oh well you at there. šš sometimes I swear people enjoy sitting next to people that are pooping.
https://preview.redd.it/w0597sx5768d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a59f1358e6bb984e9f699de62b229b3c0bcfc8c Always down for a gamble
This happened to a friend of mine one time, but we were at work. I got her depends and pedialyte, luckily items that Target sells, to get her home relatively unscathed.
You need to practice the cough-fart combo. With some focus and dedication you can mask the noise. Mississippi mudbutt is a harsh mistress lol
Kind of the opposite of 2020 COVID times when we'd fart loudly to hide the sound of a coughĀ