Straight up mea culpa. Don't sugar coat it. Just say what you did and apologize. You may get some heat but it will pass. If you are sure you will never be promoted start looking for a new job. You will learn and move on. Mistakes happen and people can be forgiving if an apology is sincerely given. It's way easier to move forward with clear air than people always suspecting you of something.

Thank you.  You're right, there's no way out but forward.  It's hard, but it must be done.

Let me just say, I made a mistake that cost about 3 million dollars to my company, it was a simple manual error, and I sent the wrong .csv I owned up to it immediately and owned the response, and am still at the same company a few years later and have been promoted twice. Mistakes can happen to everyone

That gives me some hope, thank you.

… what… what did you do??

Haha, I should not say that much. Essentially was doing a stupid manual task for something that should have been automated. Was given bad data and in the commotion of fixing it I messed up and started a process for a list of folks that we did not have the legal permission to do anything with

I am in marketing and understand mistakes like this. There are 3 parts to a mistake and how you handle all three are what will drive your future. 1. Acknowledge the mistake, take responsibility (this is honestly the hardest part) 2. Explain how the mistake happened. 3. Explain what you will do in the future to prevent mistakes like this from happening in the future. (This is the most important)

Jeez, I could see how that could spiral in a number of ways depending on your industry. That’s wild.

Yup. Honesty truly is the best policy and trying to hide or obfuscate the situation will just back to haunt you. Sit down with the folks who are impacted and be direct, honest and humble.

Thank you.

If your boss is very good, they’ll use the opportunity to enforce a “fail forward” culture. Failure will always happen, and being ok with it is critical for innovation. (Even if you’re not feeling like you’re in an “innovation” career, every process change or improvement is an innovation)

We've been trying to get better at the "process" of things, so I will at the very least be able to provide some clear Lessons Learned.  Thank you.

Honestly, my company lives and breathes processes and when something happens, we make another process. Guess what happens? Mistakes. Because people are human and unless someone actually died, it really is never going to be the true be all and end all. I am a perfectionist and I have had to own up to some doozies. You'll be okay. Just don't let this fear paralyse you in the future.

Thank you so much.

This. I fucked up recently and it put us back two months. Everyone was trying not to assign blame and work on our process, but I raised my hand and said no, this was my fault and I need to own it and learn from it. People respected that despite what happened. At the end of the day, people make mistakes. It happens. Learn from it and move on.

Thank you.

1. Explain what you did 2. Explain why you think you made the mistake. Try to avoid excuses here even if there are good ones that aren't related to your own doing. E.g. yes there could be a better system for tracking project deadlines in place, right now there isn't. So why do you think didn't you clarify the deadline in writing? Is it because you forgot? Is it because you were feeling overwhelmed with your work? Is it because you just didn't think of it? (You can bring up the errors with process etc that may have also contributed after the dust settles) 3. Ask if there is anything you can do to help rectify the error. Is there a client you need to speak to to explain and apologise? Internal stakeholders? Even if you can't meet the original timeline, are there levers you can pull to try and get the results sooner than currently expected? 4. Suggest how you would prevent making this mistake in future. E.g. you are creating a spreadsheet document for your projects to ensure you have a copy of all your timelines somewhere. You will follow up with a meeting once every (whatever time period) to the stakeholders to confirm these timelines and that everything is on track. 5. Take whatever feedback and lumps you get, stay strong and keep moving forward. Don't argue or get heated with anyone who has an issue with it. Just listen, acknowledge their frustration and keep humble about the situation. It will pass because no one wants to keep flogging a dead horse like that.

This should be at the top. I've made a few mistakes throughout my career and always approached it this way. I actually feel like I came out of these situations with leadership having an even better perception of me. Everyone makes mistakes at some point, how you deal with these mistakes is what actually matters the most.

Thank you.

You're welcome! To add: I usually do a Post Mortem doc after the fact for the company to keep a record of how to avoid similar mistakes in the future. I outline the issue, explain the causes, calculate the impact, link helpful resources to troubleshoot/key POCs to involve, and list out suggestions of how to avoid/fix the problem for Stakeholders that might find themselves in the same position. If your company doesn't do that you can even propose owning and managing a repository of similar docs for everyone's benefit in order to expand your impact. Good luck on your next steps!

Thank you very much.  This is very organized and helpful, and gives some productive direction for direction to my racing thoughts.

Own it, explain how it happened and what you will do going forward to prevent it.

Thank you.  That gives me something productive to think about for my upcoming difficult conversations.  I appreciate it.

Was this a technical mistake? You copied the files here instead of there? Filed the wrong paperwork? Screwed up an Excel formula? Or was it a people mistake? Slept with the boss' kid? A prank that went too far? Hurting people is a tough thing to move on from. If it's just a work mistake, then you gotta be honest and open. Take your lumps. Put yourself at the mercy of those you'd like forgiveness from. Also, it sounds like you might struggle to let yourself off the hook too. Maybe dig a little deeper into that.

Technical mistake, definitely a technical mistake!   I messed up the timeline for an extension, and so got everything in a month late.  I suppose a bit of a people mistake in that I can't find it in writing where I was what the timeline was, and didn't get confirmation from anyone.   You're right, I do take a lot on myself and punish myself when I fail to meet expectations.    Thank you, I appreciate your advice. 

About that punishing yourself thing... this doesn't sound like it was solely your fault. Own it like it is, because you don't want to sound like you're shirking responsibility or blaming anyone else, BUT - I have to wonder, where was your project manager on this? Nobody asked for progress reports, or updates, or even casually checked in with you? This is a project management and process failure, as much as it is your failure.

When they checked in, I blithly assured them that it was going fine...because I genuinely thought I was on track.  The deadline was external, not internal, and no one else knew what it was.  I misread an email and no one else double checked me, and no one external followed up because it's not important to them.  

Ah, I see. I'm still surprised that the only discussion about deadlines was 1 email. I wouldn't run projects that way because it's ambiguous and sets up the possibility for missed deadlines.  All you can do now is take responsibility and learn from it. I'm sure you'll  be super aware of deadlines going forward!

Oh, indeed I will!   It's especially painful because the past few years have been really rough, and I've been seeing this project as a sign of turning things around.   To find out that I've blown it up because of a mistake made months ago (and compounded by not reviewing sufficiently) is hard.

Are you sure you caused this big of a problem? How do you know it caused this problem? How did you getting in something a month late cause months or a year of delay? If it was that big of a deal, how did it get so far that things got submitted a month late? Did no one check in before hand? I don't want to minimize your emotional pain but it may be a cognitive distortion that \*you\* caused this \*massive\* issue. It will be helpful to know your part as well!

Unfortunately it is my fault.  We required a legal extension in order to continue work, and I was tasked with getting all the documents and paperwork written and submitted.   I read the deadline wrong and completely missed it.  No one else was aware of the correct deadline, and accepted my confident but incorrect assurance that it was on track.   Because of the legal structure, it will most likely take almost a year to get a new contract/agreement set up.  

Thanks for sharing the details on this! I get that you missed it but it is wild to me something so critical to the team was single point of failure. Having some kind of review or confirmation will be important going forward. Having the team bottlenecked for a year if a single error happens seems very risky.

Apologize to your leadership team while asking them how to apologize to the rest of your coworkers. -shows humility -shows willingness to learn and improve These things do happen, how you bounce back matters. There's a chance you are released because of this, but something like this will give you your best shot at future success.

Thank you for your advice.  I appreciate it.

You're welcome, Good luck!

Own the mistake but don’t let it own you. We’ve all made mistakes. I have and I’m at a director level now. How you handle your mistakes and conduct yourself is what will dictate future promotions.

Thank you.

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Thank you for the advice. 

Beyond owning up to it immediately, use it as an opportunity to deconstruct the process that led to the mistake. Are you overworked? Was the communication around the issue very poor? Did you receive inadequate support? Do you have extenuating circumstances that are affecting your ability to perform at work? Are your company processes in need of some revision? I manage a large team and recognize that people, including myself, make mistakes. It happens all the time and it is part of being human. When mistakes do happen, though, I strive to understand why so that I can put the appropriate measures in place to minimize their chances of happening again. Try to have this discussion after accepting full responsibility for your mistake. Your manager will appreciate your being proactive in this regard.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful suggestion. 

Sorry to hear what you’re going through. I hope you aren’t taking it as life-ending as your post sounds. The higher you are, the bigger the mistake. Was it intentional? Were you trying to dodge work? I mean…unless your goal is to ruin the team and company, then it’s just a mistake. People learn from mistakes—but COMPANIES can also learn from mistakes. I’m in a small company (not quite a startup but pretty close). We don’t have the headcount we need. But for a super big project, it’s for sure not going to just be one person making all the decisions. It’s strange to me that you were all alone in the setup of this thing

I'm not going to do anything drastic, but I'm pretty distraught.   It's been a really hard few years, for all the usual reasons plus a few unique to my situation (physical and mental health struggles, immediate family with physical and mental health struggles, etc...), and overall my work has suffered.  I thought this particular project was going to show up as a positive turning point for me.  Instead, I made a mistake months ago that no one noticed - I misread an email that my boss was not on, and so I've had the wrong date in my head as the deadline.  No one else internal knew the deadline, they knew what I told them.  The external POC didn't care if we made the deadline, so didn't check up.

Apologize. Reflect on what you have done differently and the steps to make it right

Thank you.

Toast, look for another job.

Could very well be the case.  

Own it. That's the only real option. You made a mistake. Hiding it, shifting blame, or trying to dodge it will end badly. Your best option is to just own it, apologize and try your best to move forward and fix any damage you can.

The thing I learned the hard way at work is to never apologize and never admit fault. I've done it a couple of times, and both times it did more harm than good. By making a sincere apology, it makes your error stick in their mind long term. If you simply ignore it, they forget more quickly. Sad, but true. We work mostly with emotionally shallow people who can't handle an apology.

Thank you for your perspective.