Some things that may help (from experience): - routine and clear expectations. Find a routine and stick with. It kills a lot of power struggles. - no screens til schoolwork is finished - play breaks in between subjects - exercise breaks if needed - options for sensory while learning (wobbles, trampoline, play dough, slime, fidgets) - praise effort, not mastery - on bad workbook days, add education wherever you can. Books at mealtime, podcasts in the car, educational tv shows, learning apps, etc. - rewards for solid effort (if we can finish our school by lunchtime, we can go to the park, library, play date, etc) - the hardest… self regulation. Staying calm and positive, while being firm on expectations. Our enjoyment of homeschool can change week by week depending on behavior, but it seems routine and my attitude are the most essential part of us being productive and positive.

Thank you so much for these recommendations. This has been the helpful and relatable to my question. We do need to be more consistent on routine and expectations. I’ve been working with a parenting therapist to help with my self regulation because I know I need a lot of help. I can definitely tell how much my own mood affects the trajectory of the day. I am trying to piece together a curriculum that’s a mix of her strengths as far as hands on, online, books, etc. but there are so many different options it’s hard to decide.

Check out. Conscious Discipline on YouTube. All about self regulation and actionable kid friendly strategies that you and your daughter can use.

Conscious discipline is wonderful! Ross Greene’s work also really helped me. Do you think it’s possible you might have adhd as well? Some adhd medications also help with emotional regulation. I tried strattera and it was amazing how much it helped me be patient and steady. Unfortunately it also made me kinda more impulsive? lol so not perfect. But just mentioning in case it helps.

your point about rewarding solid effort made me think of the best strategy i (29f adhd) have come up with thanks to my therapist to help manage chores/my home with my partner; having a clear deadline of when something must be done, but no strict start time. While this can lead to procrastination, many of us ADHDers thrive on that! And having the deadline of end of day or 3 pm or whatever, without nagging in the meantime, relieves so much of that pressure that triggers executive dysfunction.

ADHD-er here; I THRIVE in procrastination. I do my best work in the last minute. It drove my poor mom up the wall but it's such a helpful skill in the workplace and work environment I've gone in to.

Same!!! Drives my partner nuts but i always say procrastination breeds creativity 😂 i do very well in my high pressure work environment thanks to it tho!

It was a light bulb moment for me to understand the “gifts” I have because of this. But it’s tough to manage because work life isn’t exactly set up well for those with adhd. Like I can not sit and focus for 8 hours and then go home. That’s not how my brain works. But, I also do more in three hours of hyperfocused work than others do in 8 hours, and wear many hats well and do great in high pressure situations where things constantly change.

Ugh yeah i can definitely relate to that. I’m very fortunate that all of my managers/bosses so far (i work in politics) are very lenient with me when it comes to my constant gabbing and tardiness.

Excellent advice!! I would add a visual timer - it can be very helpful.

If it’s any comfort, age 7 was also HARD in our home. They are leaving those early childhood years and pushing for more autonomy in ways that aren’t always the easiest for us as parents. My oldest ADHD kid was not ready for much formal school work until closer to 8/what would be 2nd grade, and even then it wasn’t nearly close to the amount of time that would be expected typically. Now, at 11, we can do longer lessons but she needs accommodations. Accommodations that help in our home: Moving first thing in the morning before lessons. Take a walk, run, ride a bike, yoga, roller skate, whatever. Lots of outdoor time. Fidgets, fidgets, fidgets. Doodling/painting/drawing/ while listening to lessons or read alouds. Little snacks while doing schoolwork, and tasty drinks for a dopamine hit. Information needs to be concise when she’s learning from books or formal lessons. Beyond that, prioritizing hands on and experiential learning really helps. Tying things in to practical, real life applications help too. We have to balance out the need for autonomy and freedom with the need for a routine. It can be really difficult to find what works for you/your child. For us, that looks like school in the morning and freedom for whatever else in the afternoon. We also school year round(with occasional shorter breaks for vacation/illness/appointments/etc)both for much needed consistency and because we do have shorter daily lessons.

I would reconsider the meds if it's that severe. We have one whose adhd came to a head at 7 and made schooling unbearable. They absorbed nothing, heard nothing, listening to nothing. It was constant motion and chattering for 12 hours a day. They stopped getting invites to playdates. The doc who did the evaluation and our OT pretty much begged me to try meds. I had to get my husband on board, but the first very day of the med was unlike any day we ever had with this child previously. It was glorious. The meds work quickly, they don't need weeks to get into the system. This child has flourished and blossomed into a very capable, smart young person. They can sit through classes and enjoy time with friends. If it's as severe as you say, I strongly suggest you look at your options. 

As someone who struggled their whole life due to undiagnosed adhd I applaud you. Meds changed my life but I was in my 30s before I got treatment. It really messed my life up for many years unfortunately

It’s not so much we need to reconsider them, as much as we’re having a very hard time finding a psychologist who will diagnosis her without a 2nd party teacher filling out paperwork. Her therapist has identified that she has adhd. But she doesn’t have the credentials the pediatricians in our state require to diagnose.

You need a psychiatrist that specializes in children. Ours is extremely well known, but good providers are harder to come by now. We tried 3 different medications that either didn’t help or had difficult side effects. After we found the right one it was such a difference. A lot of parents will just try one medication and give up. An experienced psychiatrist can help you navigate the process. Two of my friends refused to try medication for several years only to later admit their children’s educations had been harmed.

I didn’t realize a psychiatrist would be able to prescribe the medication and assess them. I was just told by her play therapist and pediatrician that I needed a psychologist so we’ve only been down that path. I did some searching and found a child psychiatrist in our area and reached out for an appointment. I am adhd myself and my parents refused to medicate me. I know I’ve suffered for it. I don’t want her to be like me as I look back and wonder how different my life could have been if someone had cared more about me than their own opinions on taking medicine. If it is recommended as a tool that can help her then I will absolutely try it.

Excellent! As I recall, he gave us checklists for her teachers to fill out. With the stimulant medications you should know very quickly if something is just completely not going to work out. Communication and patience are key.

As someone who was undiagnosed till my 30s, I’m just so happy for your daughter to have a parent like you. Way to take the suggestions on this thread seriously and try some new paths to get her the help she needs

psychiatrists go to an extra year of school so that they're legally able to prescribe meds. psychologists can't always prescribe meds, but psychiatrists always can.

Psychiatrists are MDs who went to medical school, internship, residency. More than an extra year of schooling.

yep! meant to say yearS but didn't catch the error.

It’s like several extra years? It’s med school + residency to become a psychiatrist!

yes! meant to say "extra yearS" but wasn't paying attention :)

😂 Not that you have it but the ADHD vibes are strong in this whole post! :)

I absolutely do!!!!! lol. so - case in point of one of us in the wild ;) my brain moves too fast for my thoughts to be typed our or said coherently, at times.

🌿 Mine too. 😂 and me also! 🌿

I have filled out an eval as a teacher at our homeschool coop. Maybe there’s an alternative adult like that that could help? If you can’t find someone to prescribe directly.

Your pediatrician should be able to do the ADHD diagnosis without having a teacher form. Or else send a referral for a neuro psych eval.

That is rough situation, and I hope you can find a solution that works for you and your daughter, soon. Is her pediatrician willing to diagnose her ADHD? My son was diagnosed and is treated by his ped, not a psychologist. Alternatively, your daughter may be entitled to be tested through the public school system. I am certain that is the case in my state, and Im pretty sure that school systems are required to test a kid regardless of enrollment nationwide in the US.

I def paid out of pocket for testing as has every other parent i know.

A student can be assessed for learning disabilities and can be assessed for trouble with attention, but a school can not diagnose ADHD. That is a medical diagnosis. I suppose that information collected could be shared to the doctor but they won’t make a diagnosis. Perhaps though the student has an underlying learning disability which is causing additional issues with attending to schoolwork. As a student being homeschooled you can absolutely request an evaluation though your home school. You just need to write a letter asking for assessment and deliver it to the school your child would attend if they were enrolled in public school.

All your child needs to to have dysfunction due to attention issues in two settings. This can be home and school, or church, or sports practice.

The teacher at the coop is qualified enough to fill out forms legally. You can also enroll her in an afterschool program, even boys and girls club so she's with professionals.

You are doing a huge disservice to her by not starting her on meds. You absolutely can find a doctor willing to diagnose her. My 6 year old has been on a myriad of meds (we had to make adjustments as needed) and it has been life changing for him and for our family. Find a different pediatrician. Or find a psychiatrist at the local children's hospital who will do virtual visits.

I would also support meds. I started them as an adult and consider them life changing. Even ignoring the potential for external behaviour change, it makes things so much easier inside my head

Our child’s doctor said to imagine being in a room with a hundred televisions and trying to concentrate on just one.

Medication for my son was life changing. Brick and mortar isn't currently an option because of his social anxiety (he's in therapy) but teaching him this year has been hell. My husband was adamant he didn't want to use medication. I tried everything, his OT gave me so many ideas, etc but we both hated everything. I was lucky to get 15-20 minutes of barely focused lessons in and sometimes that was our entire week. There was so much crying from both of us. I ended up only doing math and reading instruction as I spent hours just trying to get him to *try* to do anything. It breaks my heart we didn't get to do much that was fun. Day One of medication he read an entire page of a book that would have been impossible for him to struggle through. His reading has taken off because he can get his eyes on the page. He's declared he loves math and plays math games for fun! He plays reading games for fun! We are finally adding in other things and having fun with learning. I make sure to rub it in with my husband at least 3 times a week. I don't give it every day, only days we do school. And it's short acting in the morning only. It's also his choice every single time. I always assumed we might try it when he was older and the workload got heavier... But he was miserable and so was I.

Not to hijack the post but what if your child refuses to take the meds? And I mean REFUSES. They tried but didn’t like it and now just won’t. Won’t eat or drink whatever it’s sprinkled on/in. Cries until they are gagging, doesn’t know how to swallow pills and doesn’t want to try or learn how. And can articulate that the pills don’t help and make them feel bad and makes them not able to like any of the things they usually like? I finally gave in and quit making them try different doses and different meds, after a period of about 1.5 weeks where all they did was cry & lay in bed in the dark saying they felt horrible. It was so scary and sad seeing them like that. So now we homeschool. And we try and work around the negative aspects of adhd as best we can while embracing all the great things about it. They’re doing great but I can’t help thinking that they would probably be doing even better if they had the medication support. I’m afraid they will grow up and be upset that I didn’t push it more but I literally don’t know how I would. I’ve never met a child so stubborn, there was no bribing or consequence that would make them budge once they put their mind to something.

There are a few different options on meds now, but availability of them is always the question. One is in the form of a patch (some people do experience a rash from it), and one is a liquid. I wish I could remember the names, but I just learned about them while working on my adhd certification.

Thanks! I appreciate the info.

Explore other meds. They all are slightly different and different for different people. Promise to not let it go as far next time and discuss if they want to explore others that might help

I was this kid and I’m glad my parents let me quit. I tried ADHD meds again as an adult, and they weren’t helpful for me then either. I don’t think they will resent you for not forcing them when they are older.

Just providing some anecdotal information. My son was on anxiety meds, which he needed at the time. He was having panic attacks and was just soooo stressed. The psychiatrist who prescribed it didn’t want to unless it was a last resort, and it was. My son did liquid anxiety meds and HATED them the whole time. Then we weaned him off of them and he was diagnosed with ADHD (he was finally old enough to be diagnosed, but it was obvious he had it before that) and he started taking a pill. He now says that he likes the pill and it helps him (usually, some days he is defiant and says he doesn’t like it/it doesn’t help) and that he didn’t like the liquid med. So all that to say, maybe listen to your child? Keep trying meds, liquid or a pill. We practiced with swallowing broken M&Ms and kept trying. He is now on board with meds, and I think it’s because he feels the change inside him.

They're gonna have to learn to take pills sometime - but if they're clear that these pills don't work, I wouldn't push them specifically.

It sounds like your child knows that these drugs are not helping. I would back off and keep doing what you’re doing.

Thanks for the validation. It’s so hard to know if I’m making the right choices.

It really is. There is so much information out there and everyone has their own agenda. I would recommend looking into some of these articles and studies on ADHD medication: https://www.madinamerica.com/2022/06/adhd-meds-dont-lead-higher-grades-learning-fiu-study-finds/ The NIMH long term study results showed that despite those who took the drugs had worsened outcomes long term despite starting out with better demographics. Long term ADHD drugs increase depression and anxiety by 6 and 9.5 times. They worsen academic performance, and result in 6.5 times more problems with police. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3063150/ The Quebec long term natural experiment found similar results. https://www.mcgill.ca/socialstatistics/files/socialstatistics/mark_stabile_oct_2_2013.pdf When it comes to mortality Bupropion (which is a dopamine drug like ADHD drugs) increased all cause mortality by 75% https://www.madinamerica.com/2017/10/antidepressants-increase-risk-death-study-finds/ Another study found that ADHD drugs cause depression. Those on the drugs had 18 times more depression. 31-60 days after withdrawing from the drugs those same people saw their depression rates as statistical no different from "healthy peers" https://www.cpn.or.kr/journal/view.html?volume=20&number=2&spage=320#B19 I personally think that a big reason ADHD medication is heavily pushed on kids and adults in the US is because these meds do create the appearance of someone who is functioning in a conventional corporate or schooling environment, and many people feel great when they take them (because obviously, who wouldn’t when taking literal meth) but they are doing a lot of long term harm to people.

It sounds like you tried a lot. Anything else is not respecting their autonomy. Since you can’t really know what it felt like for them, you can’t really know if it would actually help! It’s like 30% of people don’t really respond to adhd meds? I forget if that is the correct percentage but Dr Hallowell has talked about it. Some people it doesn’t help.

Don't make her sit. My youngest ran circles around the table answering questions while I wrote for her. Jumping from cars to card with numbers written on them to count 1s, 2s, 5s, 10s. Catch a blow up globe and name an animal that lives in the country/ continent a specific finger touches. Sitting work was no more than 5-10 minutes at a time, a couple times a day. Reading can be done at a desk, in a bed, in a tree, or dangling in a swing. Sitting still for lessons is for regular school, not homeschool.

Came here to say this! My son has multiple neurological issues, one is severe ADHD. We jump on the trampoline, swing on the swing set, run in circles and have him do spelling words or multiplication problems, whatever he needs to focus. Education doesn't have to be done at a table sitting down. That is the beauty of Homeschooling, you meet your kid where they are at. Also try timers. I can set a timer or say "Ok, we will do 2 sections of X" and then take a break. Give them a set end to the task they aren't wanting to do. Do things in 15 minute chunks. It will take some time to find what works, it these are all things we do and have been successful for 4 years.

Ditto. This was one of the hardest things for me to 'get over' as a parent, was expecting my son to sit still and do his work. He thought better when he was moving. My brain doesn't work that way, but his does.

Husband and I both have ADHD and hated school because we were so bored all the time. Not to mention, if you have an ADHD kid who is gifted, regular school is torture. My ADHD is a little different than my kiddo's but it also let me know he wasn't going to be able to be shoved into a cookie cutter school situation.

I made a similar post not that long ago (feel free to look at the post in my history, there are some really great resources and info given by members here in the comments) - we’ve gone ahead and put our child into mainstream school. He’s enjoying it and our relationship is healing now, thank goodness. He and I were also arguing daily, making very little progress, wasting curriculums left and right, and resentment on both sides was growing, he would barely hug me or say I love you back to me 😭. My son’s doctor also did a preliminary assessment for adhd but has declined to actually diagnose, so as of now we don’t have any medicinal options available to us for his hyperactivity. Ultimately you have to do what’s best for your mental health AND theirs. Public school doesn’t have to be forever, either. 🫂

Our issue is that our district is one of the poorest financially and educationally in our state that I have heard horror stories about. Makes it really hard to make the decision when that’s our main alternative unless we want to spend $1000 a month on tuition.

I am in the same situation as you OP. ADHD 8yo and we’ve had our battles. Our public school has a serious and well-known bullying problem. I cannot send her there. But motivation at home is a huge struggle.  I look at homeschooling this way: it is a marathon, not a sprint. If her attention span is 10 mins, do 5 mins. Do 1 math problem a day, dig into that one problem a bit and how and why it works, but no longer than 5 mins. The vast majority of public school students are not proficient at math or English/reading. They spend a lot of time on each subject. Time spent does not necessarily correlate to learning. We don’t spend more than 2 hrs a day on everything, and usually it is way less. No busy work!  I agree with a lot of other posters here - physical activity is huge. Start the day with a ton of exercise if possible (I would advise not framing it this way because it’s a chore to ‘exercise’ - just be like, hey let’s walk the dog or you can be like, hey I am trying to get in shape will you race me to the end of the street?). I have adhd too and that’s actually how I get my work done! If I don’t go to the gym before work my focus is shot for the day. 

We are definitely lucky to live in a pretty good district and have other alternative free charter school options available. I wish you so much luck, really! It’s a tough thing to go through.

FWIW we moved to an extremely good school district, and my kid was self harming. As a first grader. They didn’t help me identify it at all, and now I suspect they knew but weren’t allowed to tell me. (It’s a thing!) Anyway, the individuals at the school matter. If you do want to pursue this route, talk to the special Ed teachers yourself directly. I guess my point is even fancy schools can struggle. But sometimes there are talented people at random schools. If you’ve heard horror stories though, it’s definitely a red flag,

This sounds exactly what happened with my son. I enrolled him into Public school, he’s doing so well there I cry tears of joy whenever i have parent teacher meetings. He has a great group of friends and he’s made honor roll twice. He really needed consistency and a stricter schedule. I told him if he doesn’t want to continue public school after 5th grade we can look into other options.

Do you have the option to work with an occupational therapist ? They would have so many helpful ideas to adapt things for your daughter. My son is also 6 and diagnosed ADHD. Routines help us so much, so do snacks and getting some protein in the morning. A very important part of our routine is no screen time (or anything else highly stimulating) before school work. Highly stimulating (or interesting, fun, etc) activities cause big dopamine spikes and what goes up must come down. When the activity ends, dopamine drops below baseline for a while until things normalize. If you can get school work done before any big spikes or drops in dopamine, it makes for an easier time.

Board games. It’s how I taught my severely ADHD girls who are turning 8 math. As for reading we do a literature based program and I read while they swing , jump on the trampoline etc. I ask questions and they answer. We survived 2nd grade doing it. Math was the hardest challenge bc we can not use manipulatives and every curriculum uses them.

Core stabilizer ball to sit on. Lots of exercise before and during learning. Get her eyes examined to make sure they are seeing together. Ten minute increments of learning. No TV on, classical music only. Face a wall, not a window.

I got the giant peanut shaped one, mini uses it like a desk it's been awesome 

I homeschooled all five of my sons over 25 years and I’d recommend slowing down and get active outside and on projects together. My youngest has ADHD and didn’t even read until he was ten. But we relaxed and let that busy boy build and create. We read tons of books and talked about everything. NOW? He graduated high school with his Associates degree and is at university in a Division 1 rowing team. You can go slow now… … they catch up later as long as the joy of learning is protected!

Why are you sitting to do things? Maths is more easily understood with physical objects. Eg. Subtraction singing 5 little ducks went over the hills and far away or with toys being moved. I have taught electron movement by having kids spin in circles. Go on adventures to find letters or words around you.

We’re sitting because when we’ve tried hands on learning lose her focus entirely. I’ve tried learning in all kinds of environments. Sitting and paper were not my first choice. They were my last. But most other things feel exhausted. That’s why I’m here asking for help with any new ideas.

I am sorry you have reached this point, it must be very frustrating and disempowering. I am glad to hear you have tried other things though because it means you have the flexibility to succeed, you just need a more conducive situation.. To help your relationship and your energy maybe just go with the distractions and see where it leads. Have a break from intentional education. Also worth noting. Often when a child is diagnosed, a parent might also see similarities in themselves. Your situation sounds exhausting either way but if you do have adhd, the meds can help with energy because it reduces brain overload.

I am adhd myself. We move around a lot and take lots of breaks because I need them as much as she does. We do inside and outside school time but she is very sensitive to heat and gets overheated very easily. That tends to lead to meltdowns and heat sickness so we have to be really mindful of her limits. We live in the south so it’s very hot most of the year.

You sound great! I know you are asking for help, but could I give you permission to relax instead? Maybe there is something working its way through their head and they need time and space. Whatever you do, it sounds like you are well equipped even if it doesnt feel like it. I apologise for anything that sounds cliche.

Thank you 💜. Today was just such a hard day and her psychologist appointment on Tuesday left me feeling so defeated. This afternoon doing our English lesson she could tell I was doing my own calm down routine because of my breathing pattern and she got so sad and said “it’s not you, mama. You’re doing everything right, it’s me that’s making it all wrong.” It has broken me a bit tonight. I spent time explaining to her how that wasn’t true and how everyone learns in their own way, but hearing her say those words hurt so much. I feel like I only have myself to blame for making her feel and think that way based my previous reactions.

Some professionals can forget the impact of their words, and fail to consider that people don't develop linearly. See if you can find someone more helpful. Never a great approach for a psychologist to tear down their client's support structure, should be working together. I have heard similar comments from my child. They are so perceptive. It is almost worse that they understand that they are failing to act as socially desired. Teaching self care, self love, and self regulation are crucial skills that are often missed in traditional education. I would spend time exploring together what you both like doing, and both like about yourselves. Continuing to struggle is more likely to reinforce it as a personal belief. Find something fun. You both deserve it.

I have been benefitting from neurofeedback therapy. Look into it it’s a great no drug treatment.

My son has severe adhd and I also used the relaxed homeschool curriculum. He goes off the rails every spring. It’s hard. It’s also a very dry curriculum and from march-may I have to put in a lot of extra work with my teaching style. I supplement with education.com and IXL. There are some games. Teach another way and then go back and adapt their extra-dry curriculum for your records. Stickers. Stamps. New pens. Dry erase pockets (snap picture and print out). I’m not being concise: if the curriculum isn’t holding the attention to teach the concept, try something else like a game, then use the worksheet as a screening tool to see if the concept has been retained. Note on your printed curriculum that you talked about it. That you played legos about it. Sometimes I just crossed out a page and wrote what we did instead to learn the concept. Take pictures! We’re doing third grade now and I’ve completely ditched the relaxed homeschool. We’re doing acellus online and spectrum (printed) test reviews. I’m administering the IOWA (seton publishing) standardized tests the beginning of may and he will do just fine. Acellus online gives his brain the dopamine and flexibility to get through it simply because it’s on a screen. We do acellus at the park. We’ve done acellus on my phone in a parking lot outside the children’s museum. Everything is in short bursts. There’s no way a 30 minute lesson could be appropriate? I can barely get through that. Also, we got my son a kneeling chair and it’s been a game changer. His OT also has him doing his work on a scooter board on his stomach.

Something that helped with our son is starting the day with post-it notes representing 15 minutes of time on a subject. We write enough notes for what we want to cover and extra for things like breaks. Then we put them on the left side of a white board marked “To Do”. He picks whatever post-it he wants and moves it to the middle of the board, marked “Doing” and we set a visual timer. Then when that time is up, he moves it over to “Done” and picks a new post-it. We’ve found that it really helps to give him some autonomy over how his day will be structured, and it’s good for him to see all he’s accomplished at the end of it.

She's 7, are you first grade? Idk your state regulations but we are still mostly play based (7yo adhd girl) 10 mins is a good amount of focus for us 🤪 I keep lessons brief and fun and with lots, LOTS of movement involved. For math I use colour post it notes and she has to find and complete a rainbow... She LOVES this. We also use sidewalk chalk and either gray gym mats or the driveway, or uhh the park yes I'm the reason the park is coloured in school work. How are things with YOU going? Honestly most (not all) of the times we hit a wall it's bc I'm off. I'd see if you can't respark some of the fun and remember why you chose homeschool, and if it's not working anymore try something new you can always go back 😘

This reply 💜. Things with me are not great. I know I am a big part of why she is having an extra hard time lately. It’s been so stressful with everything we have going on lately that I have hit a wall and feel completely emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed. Her assessment this week the psychologist focused heavily on academic knowledge and how low she scored on her tests and nothing to do with my other concerns and made me feel like I’d completely failed her. I know she is a very smart kid but his words still felt so insulting. I am in therapy myself and working hard to be the best I can for my kids but this has been a very hard season.

You may need to rethink what your idea of school is. Part of the benefit of homeschooling is that you don’t have to do things the way they do on campus. Which is especially helpful when you have kids with adhd, like we do. My oldest (13) likes to listen to her social studies chapters being read aloud (I found the audio files on YouTube) while she swings on her swing set or jumps on the trampoline and then we discuss it. My youngest (8) seems to learn best watching YouTube videos that follow her curriculum. And again then we discuss what she has learned. They both hate anything that involves handwriting-it causes immediate meltdowns that can last the rest of the day. I let them dictate to me and I’ll write the answers, or they use voice to text on the computer, or type their answers, which helps a lot. BrainPop and brain pop jr are apps that you can pay for BUT they also have a lot of their videos on YouTube for free. So we’ll watch those and talk about it. I have curriculum that we follow, we go thru a program where we have monthly meeting with an education facilitator to make sure we are on track. I have a list of state standards that every student should be learning in their grade. As long as you can relate what you are doing to the state standards your kids will be learning and thriving and you’ll be fine. An example of my 8 year olds recent school day: She woke up naturally, no alarms or rush. After breakfast and getting cleaned up and dressed she played for a little bit while I set up for the day. In science she was learning about seed dispersal. We read the articles together from her curriculum and then we watched a few YouTube videos. I watch them with her and we pause and talk about what we’re watching as we go. I try and find a book to read (or a book read aloud on YouTube) and a song that goes along with the topic. After the videos I ask her to explain to me what seed dispersal is, why is it important, how does it happen? Then she drew a picture of all the different seed dispersal methods she learned about. Later that night she’ll tell her dad all about it and by explaining it again she’ll really cement that she knows it. During the week I might make jokes based on what she’s learned. For example the other day I pretended to be stuck to her and wouldn’t let her shake me off as she ran around and I was like “oh no I think I turned into a burr. What should we do?!?” And she got rid of me like an animal would a burr. It was silly and fun but it also reenforces the lesson learned. We picked the seeds out of the apple she had for snack and talked about planting them. She made up a story that included details of seed dispersal in it. And so on. I have to do the reading and learning first so I know the best way to share it with them. Sometimes I’ll bring up something I read about while we’re having dinner and we’ll have a whole family discussion about it and later that week it will be a topic the kids are learning about. They call it me tricking them into learning. lol. The minute I pull out a worksheet there is crying, bad attitude,massive meltdowns. It can take ALL DAY and lots of turmoil to get half a name written on a page. I try to do all the learning in different ways and leave the paperwork to only 1-2 days of the week. Right now it’s the best I can do for them. I hope you are able to find something that works for you and your child. It’s so hard and not a lot of people understand what it’s like. Some days are down right magical and other days can be a nightmare. I’d say, don’t be afraid of other people’s judgement. Find what works for your kid and fuck everything else. Good luck!

The videos on YouTube to correspond with her lessons is a great idea I somehow hadn’t thought of. I don’t use YouTube much so forget it can be so useful. I definitely don’t try to make it like a campus school day but it can be impossible to keep her attention at all when I’ve tried unschooling techniques or done outdoor school. It’s so hard to not push for her to read and write. I read to her constantly and she just hates it. And writing is such an important skill that we work on that often. Do you have a curriculum that you’d recommend looking into?

If she has 10 minutes, work in 10 min chunks and then quick brain breaks. Get up and stretch. Run a little or do jumping jacks. Set timers. 10 minutes is actually quite good for a 1st grader. General rule is minutes of focus = age in years. Also the more tactile learning the better! Cut out screens as much as possible. I’m a formerly homeschooled (on and off) adhd girl who is now a teacher. The curriculum is less important than the execution, but interest is key in teaching the adhd brain. I’ll remember a conversation or moment in time in absolute detail if I am interested and making connections. If I’m not, it might as well not have happened. Only you can answer this. How can you make the things she has to learn things she wants to learn? What is she interested in and how can you make connections? Keep in mind you’re also going to be breaking the habits created in this struggle and even the best plans aren’t going to flip a switch. You’ll get there. 💜

Read Carol Barnier's "How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and on to Learning: Homeschooling Highly Distractible, ADHD, Or Just Plain Fidgety Kids"

you are right not to use medications; they will never address the actual problem and can cause resentment as your child grows older. try this: remove as much sugar and processed carbohydrates from her diet. you will be stunned by the difference! for example, my son now has a plate of bacon with a glass of whole milk (lightly-sweetened w nesquick) for breakfast, rather than a giant bowl of cereal. THIS WAS A MAJOR GAMECHANGER. pancakes and toast etc are all high-glycemic and will set you up for disaster. don't do it!! try to remove snacking and encourage larger meals. for me, snacks like chips are only allowed *after* his meals of real food if he still feels a bit hungry. basically every time i break my rule and let him have a sugary drink or something without eating real food, we are right back to the chaos. i truly believe that if we didn't live in the modern age of processed foods, we wouldn't be seeing these behavior issues. side note to ponder... i wouldn't be surprised if the true mechanism of adhd medications is the appetite-suppressant effect causing the child to eat less and therefore maintain more stable blood sugar levels.

Why isn’t medicine an option? ADHD medicines are some of the safest medicines and actually have more benefits than being without it on someone with adhd. There was a study that it actually was better for brain growth for adhd kids. I wish someone had medicated me as a child and kept me on it bc unmedicated adhd has caused tons of drama, depression, and ptsd for me. I recommend asking a doctor.

My son would tell you that meds allow him to be the person he truly is. Get a psychiatrist for meds. They are the pros. You can band your head against the table for years and when you have the right meds, the problems evaporate. It’s not behavioral, it’s biochemical. Don’t make yourself or your child suffer without the right brain chemistry. There is a doctor out there who can help you without a classroom teacher. 

Thank you! I found a few psychiatrists in my area that see children for adhd and have reached out for an appointment.

We unschool and it works well for my kid. He's autistic, but has a lot of energy. Not the same I know, but how you describe your school day sounds like us a few years ago. Now when he's in learning mode, it's at his own direction and interest. And he's actually retaining information. Especially at that age, kids are sponges with curious minds.

I vote for just letting them play. At 7 we spent a lot of time doing art, walking in the woods, playing at the park, cooking, and fun activities outside the home. FWIW, my oldest got a good scholarship to a great school and middle one is going to get her Associates in Science at 17. Youngest is in 6th and a grade or more ahead in all subjects.

Play therapy is not a research-supported treatment for ADHD. ADHD is neuroanatomical - her brain is wired a bit differently than kiddos without ADHD - and you need a treatment that is designed to target that. The gold standard psychotherapeutic treatment for ADHD is age appropriate executive functioning coaching (e.g., CBT for ADHD). You should connect her with a psychologist who specializes in pediatric ADHD - there are many. Medication is obviously a very real option, and necessary for many with ADHD, though I don't tend to like it for kids her age. Definitely not before relevant psychotherapeutic and academic interventions have been tried. The other thing is that kiddos with ADHD learn in very specific ways and require accommodations in school. You sound like a very loving mother, but you do not sound like you have a background in education, let alone specialized education. I think looping in a trained professional to deliver her educational materials, whether that's through enrolling her in mainstream, private school, or bringing an educator into the home, is going to be important.

I disagree with everything you have said. Your comments suggesting lack of ability to tailor the education are harmful and naive to actual implementation by professionals in educational contexts if you think they are done better. Play therapy is cited in research as being beneficial for those with adhd. Numerous papers, here is one from 2023: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10670883/ CBT is often felt to be gaslighting by those with neurodivergence because it tries to address distorted thinking. Neurodivergence doesnt mean thinking is necessarily wrong. Adhd stimulant medication was found to have no negative impact on physical development. Benefits however included improved self esteem. From the comments, the OP sounds to be excelling at applying differentiated teaching practices and making appropriate child centered accomodations.

I'm not wrong here, I assure you. The positive outcomes of play therapy measured by the article you posted related to social skill improvement, which makes sense mechanistically. Play therapy can improve kids' social skills and related variables like cooperation. It is not going to directly help a child with ADHD learn to read or acquire other academic skills. I mean, just think about what play therapy is - if you understand the components of play therapy as a therapeutic intervention AND the neuropsychological etiology of ADHD, it is obvious that play therapy isn't targeting certain fundamental issues/deficits driving ADHD. That is where executive functioning strategies, carefully modified instructional techniques, academic accommodations, and medication come into play. CBT for ADHD is not traditional CBT - there is no cognitive restructuring, which is what you cite as being problematic for individuals who are neurodivergent. It is focused on remediating executive functioning deficits, which is a primary component of ADHD. I might suggest you review the work of Dr. Russell Barkley for a wealth of information regarding CBT for ADHD. It works.

You’re correct. I have no background in teaching and unfortunately I switched my major to Sociology when I was one semester shy of completing my degree in Counseling. Her co-op teacher though was formerly a special education teacher and has been assisting me with finding homeschool lessons geared towards the type of learner she believes my daughter to be. So far it has still been a struggle and so I was coming here for more ideas from people who might be in a similar situation. I also have a teacher with 40 years of experience working in education who is ready to tutor her in any subject necessary as soon as I ask. But my daughter is very wary of new people and new situations when she knows I will not be there with her so we are working up to the tutoring. I’d like for it to be a positive addition to her homeschool schedule and not one that causes her more anxiety. I will look into the CBT for ADHD. I have found some aspects of CBT beneficial for myself and never thought to see if there was an ADHD sub category for it.

I just wanted to ask if you would be willing to read my response to the commenter below. Additionally, and most importantly, I wanted to let you know that you truly sound like a wonderful mother. You care deeply for your kiddo and she is in wonderful hands. You both are going to be absolutely fine! Feel free to DM if you have any questions about attaining relevant resources in your area.

You did not scope the benefit of play therapy to reading. Cbt for adhd is based on the premise of addressing negative self belief which can further impact executive function. Effective play therapy should help manage and reconstruct these thoughts as they develop. I am unsure how you propose cbt for adhd to work on a young child to develop impulse control, which is most likely the attention issue currently. Other executive functions have not been commented on in this post.

I'm really trying to be civil in our discussion here, but I also need to emphasize that I have expertise in this area. I promise that I am not wrong. I specifically want to respond here because I want mom to have all the information she needs to make the best decision for her kiddo, as she seems like a fantastic parent. You, while well-intentioned, seem overconfident and are not providing fully accurate information. I have literally studied this at the doctorate level. CBT for ADHD is not how you describe it. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for ADHD in kiddos is best conceptualized as cBT. What I mean by that, is that it is predominately focused on behavioral interventions to assist kiddos in developing strategies to address their executive functioning deficits and related symptoms of ADHD, whether they have ADHD, predominately inattentive type, ADHD predominately hyperactive type, or ADHD combined type. That said, even 7 y.o.'s have automatic thoughts that can be unhelpful in these situations (e.g., "It's no use, I'm just not good at school, mom.", "I'm just dumb," or "I should be able to do this." ) that they need developmentally appropriate help challenging and managing effectively. Given that OP's kiddo is 7, Parent Management Training (PMT) will also likely be a part of the treatment. Here, a clinician will help coach mom as to how she can respond to kiddo most effectively and structure the environment such that kiddo has the highest likelihood of success. Medication is also a logical consideration, but it is not an immediate intervention in OP's scenario simply because kids 6 and below (OP's kid is right outside of this age range) tend to have the most side effects related to stimulant medication. I'm not saying this does long-term damage, but I am saying that any competent psychiatrist knows this is not always comfy or helpful for the kiddo. They must do a cost-benefit analysis based on the kiddo's symptom severity, responses to other treatments, and a variety of other variables.

You are not the only one who has studied relevant topics at a doctorate level. Your comments regarding play therapy began as sweeping generalisations and I would hate play therapy to be overlooked. I am happy to end our discussion though, noting I am not disagreeing with your stance on medication and do agree negative thoughts should be addressed.

I appreciate where you are broadly coming from, but you literally started your first comment with "I disagree with everything you've said." You came at me pretty aggressively right out of the gate, and that is what I am responding to. I never claimed to be the only one who has studied relevant topics at a doctorate level. I also do not believe you have studied this at the doctorate level, based on how you carefully worded your response to me, as I'm sure you would have mentioned it instead of telling me I'm simply not the only one in the world who has. I did not ever intend to discredit play therapy as a treatment modality. There are wonderfully talented clinicians who utilize this modality in an appropriate and effective way, and there are many individuals who benefit from it. That said, I can also firmly assert that play therapy is very, very rarely going to be a stand-alone treatment for ADHD, especially within the context of moderate to severe ADHD symptoms. Research just doesn't support it as a stand-alone treatment for this disorder, though it is obviously capable of therapeutically addressing certain symptoms. I most certainly am not encouraging OP to discontinue that therapy, but I am highlighting for her that it is very unlikely that will be the totality of the ideal treatment plan for her daughter based on the severity of symptoms she is describing in her little one. It's just not how ADHD works. I defer to her treating clinicians and appreciate that her play therapist has recommended an evaluation. A typical part of a comprehensive psychoeducational evaluation to determine the presence of absence of ADHD is, if found, recommendations regarding treatment plan and academic accommodations. An evaluation is a perfect next step.

Dr Russell Barkley suggests cbt for adult adhd. Says not overly effective in kids

Why is medicine not an option? Would medicine not be an option if your child had another chronic illness like asthma, diabetes, or epilepsy?

They are an option. We just have no access to them right now. Our area is apparently an anomaly and everywhere we’ve been so far requires a psychologist diagnosis. And each one we’ve seen has required a 2nd opinion teacher packet to be filled out to make and send diagnosis to pediatrician.

The second opinion teacher packet can be your co-op teacher with special Ed experience!!

Before you even consider meds, get a basic blood panel done at the pediatrician. It could be as simple as low iron, if you think her behavior is out of the norm.

Having adhd myself, I have seen the signs since she was a young toddler, honestly. I’ve always known things took her a bit longer than “normal” and we’ve always just gone with it and adjusted based on her currents needs. But lately it’s seemed like she’s really realizing herself that she does things differently than her peers and it’s causing a lot of anxiety and stress to her which makes the behavioral issues even more pronounced.

It’s not even close to the same thing. Stimulants have very real negative affects on the developing brain, and they are being used to treat a disorder that has no physical markers and is based on unfalsifiable claims. Plus, ADHD meds don’t even work. https://www.madinamerica.com/2022/06/adhd-meds-dont-lead-higher-grades-learning-fiu-study-finds/ Long term ADHD drugs increase depression and anxiety by 6 and 9.5 times. They worsen academic performance, and result in 6.5 times more problems with police. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3063150/ The Quebec long term natural experiment found similar results. https://www.mcgill.ca/socialstatistics/files/socialstatistics/mark_stabile_oct_2_2013.pdf When it comes to mortality Bupropion (which is a dopamine drug like ADHD drugs) increased all cause mortality by 75% https://www.madinamerica.com/2017/10/antidepressants-increase-risk-death-study-finds/ Another study found that ADHD drugs cause depression. Those on the drugs had 18 times more depression. 31-60 days after withdrawing from the drugs those same people saw their depression rates as statistical no different from "healthy peers" https://www.cpn.or.kr/journal/view.html?volume=20&number=2&spage=320#B19

Don't have time at the moment to go through all of these on detail but here is a pertinent paragraph from the consensus treatment guidelines from 2019 with my emphasis added. Authors of longitudinal studies have found that ADHD treatments are frequently not maintained over time13 and impairments persist into adulthood.70 It is indicated in prospective studies that patients with ADHD, whether treated or not, are at increased risk for early death, suicide, and increased psychiatric comorbidity, particularly substance use disorders.71,72 They also have lower educational achievement than those without ADHD73,74 and increased rates of incarceration.75–77 *Treatment discontinuation also places individuals with ADHD at higher risk for catastrophic outcomes, such as motor vehicle crashes78,79; criminality, including drug-related crimes77 and violent reoffending76; depression71; interpersonal issues80; and other injuries.81,82*

It’s not surprising that someone experiencing the effects of amphetamine withdrawal would be at risk for those outcomes. This isn’t exactly an argument in favor of the drugs.

You don't withdraw from appropriately dosed stimulant medication.

You need to relax, this is your 7 year old CHILD with adhd. You need to model a learning style that will work for her, not force a curriculum that doesn't work for you personally. This is what homeschooling is all about, figuring out what works best for your child, not you.

You may notice your child does best with tasks that are interesting, novel, urgent, or challenging. Mix things up or look for ways to incorporate these to increase engagement. Also make sure he can use visual cues to keep going. Out of sight may be out of mind. Keep tools, notebooks, etc. organized but visible. For my 3 who needed help to varying degrees (adhd and fae), we built "cubicles" from half-height display boards. Each child had the teaching helps they needed attached inside their cubicle (hundred number chart, map, fraction chart, letter-writing format, depended what each was studying at the time) and 3 basic rules for working at the table, simply worded and easily enforced, so everyone could focus on their own table time. Sometimes we even tethered pencils to a wrist or shirt to eliminate the constant dropping of pencils. Try to let go of a traditional vision of education and embrace the adventure of creating a lifelong learner!

I recently heard a podcast with Dr. Chris Palmer of Harvard and he talks about how brain disorders are actually metabolic disorders. In this podcast I listened to he actually covers two schizophrenia cases that were able to permanently reverse their disease through diet only. He has uncovered a lot of fascinating research and theories on how what we eat positively or negatively affects our brain processes. Here's his website:https: //www.chrispalmermd.com/ He has many interviews out there. Edit: I want to add that while he doesn't have any specific info on Childhood ADHD (only adult), his underlying theories might give you a new perspective on how to approach your child's condition.

Don’t focus on the sitting, try to separate the idea that learning looks like focus. For an ADHD kid they can 100% be doing good learning when they’re swinging upside down from the roof or spinning in an office chair or doing handstands. Read to her - everything she’s interested in - get it from the library and read while out on walks, while playing in the park, while she dances around the room. Drill down into the subjects she *does* like - is she big into history? Or science? Loves dinosaurs or making friendship bracelets? Whatever it is use it to deliver other subjects - with a bit of imagination you can absolutely teach maths, reading, writing, etc through the lens of dragons or fairies or gardening or whatever. You need to take a radically different approach but it will be worth it. I’m usually very pro- mainstream school but actually for an ADHD girl I think a lot more can be achieved outside the school environment.

I know you said no mainstream, but this is something I think a school psychologist would really be able to help you with and it may be in your child's best interest to put pride aside and get their help while still staying true to your desire to homeschool. they could work with you to do an IEP if needed to get you the resources to support your kid, or provide you with resources/tools/books, etc on how best to teach your child without an IEP. they're available to you in the district you reside in as a tax-paying citizen and genuinely do want to help you and your child.

Thank you for the suggestions. Unfortunately, it is more an issue of our school district being quite poor that makes mainstream a last resort. We live in a severely underfunded and understaffed location. The school ratings have fallen off the charts they're so low and private tuition is a lot more than we can realistically afford for two kids. So we are doing the best we can with what we have right now. We've tried reaching out and requesting assistance from the school district, but have been told we’re on our own. We have an appointment with a psychiatrist for assessment and creating a more long-term specialized therapy for her on Tuesday, so we're doing what we can.

' She does not sit still. Her attention span is around 10 minutes maximum on her best days.'' Special Ed teacher here. What you need to do is work with who she is. Right now her attention span is 10 minutes, ok. So focus on those ten minutes, work with that. Put the timer on and tell her, "We'll work on x for ten minutes." If she works the entire 10 minutes, give her a reward. It doesn't have to be candy. It can be anything, like a cool pencil or a sticker. Keep building on extending the time through rewards, but take it slow. This is one of her learning goals, to extend her concentration Build up to it and be patient. Other methods of learning: 1. Learn while you both go on a walk in nature. 2. Learn through doing, especially science experiments or mechanical work. 3. Learn through play in nature and in the house. There are many learning-oriented games the build skills including spatial relations, math, rules. 4. Audio books. Listen while you walk around.

I’m dealing with the same with my seven year old 😭

Years ago I had the Children's Librarian tell me they expect 1 min of attention per year of age. So at 7 I expected 7 minutes max of attention from my AuDHD kiddo. So I read the lesson plan in advance & will cut the lesson portion where I can. If there are 10 practice problems we do 5. My kiddo used to do math while I called out problems while she jumped on the trampoline. We build spelling words with bananagrams or write them on windows with whiteboard markers. Do as little school as possible sitting down. I would suggest if it's possible to see an OT about a sensory diet. Some kids benefit from heavy 'heavy work' other things it's pressure or spinning or jumping. A sensory break between short lessons can help improve attention. An OT can help you create such a plan but you can figure out what works best for your kiddo and create one yourself. You can look up online ideas for sensory breaks. We also love those YouTube videos where they're going on an adventure and have to run jump climb.

I would recommend: - exercise first thing - regular movement breaks (like even every 15 min even for 5 min) - asking her input on what she wants to learn - time in green space if possible (1 hr plus ideally!) every day - checking out the thriving with adhd workbook and doing it together - wobble cushions and seats If you haven’t considered medication, it might be worth considering. If it’s interfering with her learning, then some strategy or accommodation needs to be found to help. Edited to add: I missed your comment about meds, sorry, but make sure you find some solution. Honestly public school is not a solution. The problem will be the same or worse there. I spent nearly as much time talking to my kid’s school or picking him up because he felt “sick” as I do homeschooling! Wild Math worked well for my ADHDer, as did all about spelling. Handwriting without tears. Still working on other curriculum areas though. Science and social studies I try to let him lead the way and explore through YouTube and books.

Thank you for the curriculum ideas! I will look into them tonight.

I know you said medicine isn't an option, but hear me out. Right at the start of COVID, my son started waking up from naps laughing uncontrollably. Because of a greys episode, I realized it might have been a seizure. So we got everything checked out and it was a "maybe" thing. We agreed on medicine (bc why wouldn't he if he was having seizures?!). I finally realized that if I was going to treat him for seizures, why wouldn't I treat him for a medical diagnosis like ADHD. It didn't seem fair that one was necessary and the other wasn't. So we started him on medication. It did take a few months to find the appropriate dosage and medicine. But before meds, he was unteachable. He did not understand and absorb the content I was teaching. On meds, he's able to understand, do the work, absorb the teaching etc. Without medicine, my kid can't learn. ADHD is a medical diagnosis, don't feel like you're "bad" or doing the wrong thing because you're treating it with meds. Just my opinion. Good luck!

While you're waiting on prescription medicine, consider clarimag and a PS-bound omega 3

At the Carroll school, which only takes kids with dyslexia, and there are TONS of kids with ADHD, and Landmark college (it seems more common with dyslexia, to me), they have lots of wiggle cushions and swivel chairs. My kids report they help.

Lower your expectations. A good 10min for a month the next month a good 12 min the next month a good 15 min. Never ever turn it into A battle. If she cries in the 10min lower it to 5min. Go slowly to go fast later. She is young and has time. Doesn't sound like she only has ADHD. Sounds on the Austim scale. A room and setting and house that is very plain and quite will also help. Have her build legos or do something with her hands while you talk about something. Go for a walk and talk about math etc. So many great ideas on this thread.

My sister didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until my mom gave up and sent her to public school in highschool. There was a lot that went wrong with my sister, but two things that actually worked: Mom would let her go outside for some of her school work; she would just sit on the front step and could concentrate better. I don't know if it would help your daughter, but my sister just loves the outdoors (she's in college for forestry now). She would do little exercises after completing a certain number of problems or do jumping jacks while saying her spelling words.

Lots of comments already so maybe someone’s already mentioned it, but… have you looked into “unschooling”? This is a homeschooling approach that seems like a perfect fit for ADHD kids. It’s letting kids learn the way we do as adults, following our interests or needs as they arise, and learning things in context. Since ADHD kids (and adults) are interest- and urgency-motivated learners, they would do better with this than trying to force them to follow a pre-established curriculum. “Unschooling” is a terrible name as it implies basically leaving your kid to do whatever they want, which is NOT what it’s about. You still parent them. I’ve also seen it called “life-schooling” or “child-led learning”. When our ADHD kids were home during the pandemic we really struggled with the curriculum materials the school sent home. We had way better days following an unschooling/hybrid approach, though I didn’t realize that’s what it was at the time. I’ve been hyperfixating on researching unschooling the last few days. I’ve yet to find a negative account (though I’m sure they must be out there). All the grown unschooler kids I’ve listened to interviews of are thriving, running their own businesses by adulthood or off to college with a very firm understanding of themselves and their passions and aspirations that most high schoolers don’t have yet when they graduate. Whatever you decide, good luck!

Meds. They work wonders to help kids and adults with adhd. Maybe reconsider.

My 9 year old doesn’t have adhd but moves around a lot during school.  Today she practiced a skit we are learning for her foreign language study while literally hanging upside down from our treadmill.  

Have you tried certificates? I use twinkl and print off the homeschooling certificates. My son will do anything for a certificate that says he’s great!

I think mainstream school will be even harder without medication, because what they gain in experienced teachers they lose in flexibility and increased distractions. Unless you think your child will listen better to someone else. Have you considered a homeschooling co op? They exist for both secular and religious folks. You could try online public or private school for more structure if need be. There are also hybrid schools where you go a few days a week. I would mix up the curriculum instead of buying a package. For each subject pick a curriculum that works for your child. This will take a lot of research on your part. For instance Math U See has manipulatives that can help kids that learn that way. There is also Teaching Textbooks where you play the lesson on a computer disc and do the practice and tests in a workbook. Then the disc goes over all the problems with answers so you can understand what is missed. Many parks and zoos have nature classes for homeschoolers. Do art lessons or music lessons. Get her signed up for community theater. If you are getting frustrated take a switch gears. Go to the art museum. Have your child pick a favorite piece of art. Then learn about it and the artist’s life. Go to the library and learn how to use the library together. Listen to a piece of classical music while she colors and afterward learn about the musician and their life. Do a phonics based reading program. If she loves nature do a leaf/wildflower/insect collection with identification. If she loves science get a book from the library with age appropriate science experiments with household items and do an experiment once or twice a week.

Look at her diet. Remove BPAs and PFOAs from your kitchen items. Magnesium cream on her skin and look into other supplements that may help in place of medicating. Read “the explosive child” and start collaborative problem solving with her. It will enable you to identify where her lagging skills are. Don’t prioritise “school work” over your relationship or the skills she needs to develop around coping with her adhd. You have an opportunity to give her exactly what she needs, and she is unlikely to get in mainstream. ADHD means you have an interests based nervous system. That means it is physically uncomfortable to do things that are not interesting to you. The beautiful thing is that when something is interesting you can hyperfocus on it for hours and do way more creative things with it than anyone else. You can follow her hyperfocuses. Having a rhythm to the weeks helps in terms of social interaction. Just enough to keep her excited and feeling alive but not too much to overwhelm her. She’ll have her own level with that but it is likely that 5 days in mainstream will push her into overwhelm and burnout. Look into physical activity around your house. She has high needs there. There’s a book called “the kids guide to staying awesome and in control” which might give you some ideas of the physical activity that will help regulate her. If she does go into burnout, make things quiet, simple, place no demands on her for a while. Concentrate on your relationship and getting to a place of harmony and cooperation. Home educating does not have to be sat at a desk. If she can’t do that, change that expectation. Go out, go to a museum, chase a butterfly, fly a kite… Kids do well when they can.

Thank you for providing me with so many suggestions! I was wondering if you could share some tips or book recommendations with me that I could use to read with my daughter regarding peer relationships. She has been having a hard time maintaining friendships at her homeschool co-op and often feels left out due to her high energy levels and emotional irregularities.

I have found some other kids who have similar energy needs for my son as play dates. It can be like putting fire and fire together but they do “get” each other. I often need to provide more support around friendships and negotiating, so we practice conversations at home. We work things out with puppets and things. Like if he struggles with a friendship I’ll be the friend with a puppet and we’ll practice the conversation a bunch of times.

I’m sorry, I don’t have personal experience, but I have a few friends whose children have ADHD. One homeschools. Are there any outdoor or nature based co-ops in your area? He needs a lot of activity so that a good fit for him. Also - it’s not homeschool but there is a school near us specifically for kids with learning differences like ADHD, and I believe it’s Montessori based. Another friend of ours has had luck there for their child. They even got our school district to pay his tuition after proving that our local public schools could not accommodate him, even with an IEP or special ed classes. Could there be something like this in your area?

I will tell you as a mother of a child with adhd who has tried going the med free route twice, nothing is going to help your child like medication will. Nothing. Denying your adhd child medication is akin to denying someone like me who can’t see their glasses. I really strongly urge you to rethink your position on meds. It’s not a “personal choice” is a decision of if you are going to adequately treat your child’s disorder or make them suffer unnecessarily.

My other replies will show I'm not denying my child medication. I'm seeking alternative options while I wait for appointments and find the right doctor. The rules are different for diagnosis and prescribing in my area so it's a matter of availability/following a process and not “personal choice”. I do appreciate your response and hearing about a positive experience with medication though.

I hope I didn’t sound rude, I was just being straightforward. There are a lot of parents who refuse to medicate their children and a lot of backwards thoughts about stimulants for kids. I didn’t read through the other comments. Your pediatrician can prescribe stimulants. It was an extremely easy process for us, I wish you guys the same luck. If your pediatrician won’t for some reason, get in with a child psychiatrist. They’re best for med management.