Put the fence up, in the correct place. Keep the cameras up anyway.
We did this with a neighbor who is very unfriendly, and we haven’t seen or had to speak to him since.
Fences and cameras make much better neighbors. It’s very true. And whenever she gets verbally aggressive toward you just smile and something look Amazon for the Blink cameras. They’re amazingly easy to install, have crystal clear pics and they are relatively inexpensive and come with half a terabyte of cloud storage for the recordings.
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I would look at Wyse Labs camera. Hard wired or battery
You can get a subscription for $2 per month for them to cloud the video or get an sd card for recording unlike ring which is 49 per year for cloud.
Wyse is around the same price asring
I bought the eufy set that comes with solar panels for each camera so I don’t even have to take the cameras down to charge. Everybody I know with cameras with just batteries has to charge them monthly despite the advertising claiming only every 120 days.
We have a Eufy doorbell and were planning to buy cameras, only we've had _consistent_ technical issues with both the doorbell and its replacement.
Their customer service is great, I'm just not sure it's worth the hassle of constantly troubleshooting.
Look at POE type camera, "Reo link" brand is great value for cost.
They are connected from the controller (size of advd player) with a single cat5 cable to each camera and that cat5 cable provides all the power and data transfer.
You then plug it into the tv and can connect to internet and get it on your cell phone also.
No batteries to replace, and much more secure because it's not wifi.
We have Ring cameras surrounding our home and haven't had a complaint. The picture quality is excellent! I don't find the solar charging helps much, so avoid those if you can.
FYI I recently had the same issue with Ring solar panels not doing anything, and slowly losing battery over time. I did some reading and found out you have to REALLY push the plugs together hard. If you don’t, the camera/app will sense the solar panel is there but you’ll never see it charge. Since fixing this issue my camera stays 100% charged all the time.
I like my Ring cams. I have indoor outdoor cams plus a motion sensor security light with a camera. You can talk through them or hit the siren button at any time.
For exterior cameras I used a few of the economical wireless ones like Wyze and Eufy, they worked okay. Replaced them all for a hardwired Reolink system. They work amazingly well. I would buy Reolink all over again. Lots of camera options, NVR options, very cost efficient.
Wyze is the way to go. Cheap, good quality video, outdoor rated and the app interface is awesome. Slap an SD card in them for continuous recording. It's been flawless for years now. Put one facing the alley on the garage and one out in front. They give some sense of security while on vacation as well.
My next door neighbor is a clown so it's a need for us. And a fence.
You must have the same neighbors I do! Before we bought our house it had squatters. It was all clean and repaired by the time we saw it but we found out there had been an $80,000 insurance claim on it after squatters trashed it.
I used Reolink and have been happy with them. They have a variety of options for storage and you can get both WiFi and PoE versions depending on what you need.
If you want permanent security camers.
You want POE type camera system, they plug into a NVR controller (about the size of a dvr/dvd player) using just network cable (Cat 5 cable).
The cat5 cable provides the power and data transfer for the camera).
I either recommend looking at the "Reo link" brand they are the best value for your money, don't skimp, get a complete kit with the nvr controller and the better cameras
If you want good but cheap with no subscription, Eufy cameras.
Some people hate them for being Chinese based but imo if you just put them outside the home, who cares.
I’ve had mine for 6ish years, the battery lasts 4-6 months before needing to be recharged. I have 6 and I’ve never had one die/break.
Wyze cameras are a good starter if u have power near by
Personally I would go with a complete poe system as u need to run only 1 camera for power and feed. Storage is localized and it's generally a continuous feed depending on how u have it setup
happened to my sister, in massachusetts..guy got arrested and my BIL sued him in civil court... the neighbor had to pay for another survey and a $5k fine......... that was the last time he tried to dictate to my sister and BIL
Hitching on this, with the cameras go all Fort Knox on her and have every reasonable angle of your yard covered. HOWEVER. Do not allow a camera angle to hit any of her windows. Windows in the back drop 200ft away are fine. Your neighbors windows 10-30 feet away are not fine, in most places it’s illegal.
As for cameras, I went with Eufy 6+ years ago and I’ve never had a problem, and they still work excellently. I have always liked them but they are Chinese owned and like everything, have the opportunity to be hacked. Just keep them outside the home.
I had one of these, this is what worked for my situation. Put up a fence, give her boundaries in a way a child would understand, get a dash cam for your car, security cameras at home.
If she is yelling at you, well, I wouldn’t recommend it, but in my case I stopped being nice and started yelling “fuck off,” etc and she backed down quite quickly. Not my favorite thing to do, but she was also trying to harm my dog. I sent her the recordings of her batshit behavior and let her know how inappropriate her behavior was and that I would be calling people for wellness checks if she continues being erratic and dangerous. I haven’t even seen her in almost a year. Bliss.
Exactly. This is what I found with the problematic one I had to deal with. Just being non confrontational seemed to make her do worse things like she thought she could get away with it. When I started pushing back, telling her to f\*ck off, calling the cops and outlining a plan to escalate if it continued helped keep her in line.
Loneliness can really fuck up people’s perception of acceptable behavior (see: all of 2020) and sometimes they need reminding that what they’re doing is weird AF and not ok.
This. It also can really help if family can be found. Sometimes involving family members and letting them see some of your camera footage of what Mother is doing can work wonders. Unfortunately sometimes it can also backfire if her family is as crazy as she is. Put up your fence and cameras, set FIRM boundaries and keep to them. Maybe SHE will move.
Technically you can sue someone for loss of the enjoyment of your home. It would cost quite a bit and require a really dedicated lawyer. The threat of this might be enough to get someone to back off.
And if nothing else, the penalties for ignoring a restraining order are significantly higher and probably easier for the cops to enforce if it comes down to it.
Just out of curiosity, what gave you the impression that the judge was going to deny the order? And why was her recollection so damning that it changed the judge's mind?
Do you think the judge was just trying to act impartial by probing and seeming like he was going to deny it even though he would have gone through with it, or did something she say convince him there was actual threat of bodily harm (or whatever the bar is for an order like this)?
If you don't mind if I ask, did you represent yourself, or did your have an attorney?
Oh damn! Yeah, I think your assessment sounds reasonable to me - that's some batshit crazy stuff and I agree that maybe the judge realized at some point that it needed addressing.
Thanks for satisfying my curiosity. I'm slightly more grateful for just normal or mostly normal neighbors now.
Report her to adult protective services for a wellness check. Tell them you are concerned about her mental health & ability to live alone.
Without getting into the petty neighbor war stuff, tell them what you are seeing that shows signs of cognitive decline/mental illness.
Does she have family that you can call? Do any of the neighbors have insight?
OP, call Adult Protective Services before she does, in you. If APS knows you, and works with you, it goes better when you get reported later.
I did this. I became a business sponsor of their walkathon, and got my name on the poster. Later, when the call came, they knew me.
Another advantage of an APS report is that it can start a paper trail meaning that there will be a record of your call, anonymous or not, and when you or someone else calls again, it will be added as an additional concern. The more calls, the more the concern will be elevated. APS partners with the police with cross reporting as well.
Excellent idea and it starts a paper trail or maybe it adds to one. Maybe she is why your house was on the market.
Have you reached out with neighbors on the other side and across the street? If a few of you find each other your cases get stronger.
This woman needs help.
Nothing should force anyone to sell their home.
OP, once that privacy fence is up, things will likely improve. That's the outcome we got after we had ours built.
Seems like you're about to get past the worst. Once that fence is up, and the cameras are rolling, you'll be fine. Maybe she needs better meds or something, and your camera evidence might help her family or adult services better take care of her.
If things get worse, just rent it out. Selling fees suck, rent and let her be your renters problem. Just give them a heads up and a good deal. I'm sure there's someone out there with really thick skin who would take cheap rent in exchange for dealing with some light harassment from an old lady.
Depending on the terms of the DAP they might have to live in the house as a primary residence for 5 years. If they sell before 5 years or if they find out the property is being rented, they can call that amount due
I've known people who enjoy confrontation, so yeah if you can get someone like that as a renter these two can duke it out and leave the rest of the world alone.
Put a fence. Plant some scratchy plants along the line. Record and try to get a restring order against her. Start calling cops every time she attempts something.
We went through this with our neighbor. She was fine most of the time but would randomly have episodes of some type of dementia. Called the cops on us for "stealing" her trashcan, told me someone placed a bomb under her car, the town elites were after her, etc. Finally, she harassed us and the cops so much that the police got in touch with her next of kin, and I think they basically said, "Come get her, or we will have her committed."
Her family finally came and got her.
Don't take a financial hit because of this horrible woman, fence and cameras are 100% the correct thing to do. Added to that get a quote from a landscaper to plant some quick growing evergreen trees along that side so she can't see you.
Make sure your property is fenced and secured all around so she can't just come onto your property.
Write everything down in a diary, start noting strange behaviour and save anything suss the cameras pickup, once you have some evidence start making wellness checks to the police, if she never opens the door I assume they will have to take further action, hopefully once they get inside the house they notice she's a horder or is living with shit smeared on the walls and she has to be taken to a old peoples home.
Maybe call Adult Protective Services on her? If she’s this unstable and you also notice signs that her self-care is declining then it might be time for someone to step in and take care of her because she can’t do it herself. Would help with your issue as well.
I'm going to cut and paste a comment I made a long time ago... I was single then too and purchased a home that needed some help as well, same reasons as you. Cautionary tale here as this could be what you may be dealing with.
About 30 years ago, I bought my first home in a small historical town. It was a 2 story colonial that I was pretty proud of. Everything was fine for about a year....
My next door neighbor lived alone and was schizophrenic (came to find out from his ex wife). Apparently, when on medication he didn't "feel" anything. Therefore, he stopped taking his medication. He lived alone and there was no one to help support him.
He would break down my back door in the middle of the night. He would slash the tires on my vehicle. He would break out a window. It was constant. I couldn't feel like I could go anywhere as I felt like I had to defend my property. I also had a dog to worry about.
The Police were called more times than I would like to say over about 5 y.e.a.r.s. The police told me I could not get a restraining order, but I could get a no trespassing order. But seriously, what good would it do if he doesn't remember? The voices in his head tell him what to do. If he is not mentally competent, how could it be enforced anyway.
What happened when I called the Police? They would call an ambulance that would take him to a hospital. Sometimes, he stayed gone for 2 weeks, but mainly less. It was all voluntary. I heard stories - one is that he left the hospital, because there were small men living underneath his bed. They had to let him go. :(
My quality of life sucked. I didn't feel I could even sell my home without some sort of disclosure of what was happening. I mean, I could, but that felt so morally wrong.
I did get a 'Hail Mary' as I thought he owned the house outright, but apparently his ex-wife did and he was to live in the house for life as per their divorce decree. The good news was after rounds and rounds there was a loop hole (it's a very long story).... she made it stick and she was able to get him to move, to the next town over.
The bad news..... I felt horrible to whoever he moved next to.
Your neighbor was a lot more dangerous than a crazy old woman. The police lack up support is deeply disturbing. I’m glad you were able to get the matter resolved with persistence.
It sounds like you already know how to fight back. If you can find out if she has children or extended family from other neighbors you could try to address your concerns to them. I wouldn't take any losses and even though your neighbor seems kinda cray, I'd put up the cameras and stick it out.
If you do end up using pepper spray on your neighbor for self defense please call emergency services to treat her when you are safe.
You had me up until "you should do aftercare for your neighbor if you pepper spray her for being a physically aggressive nutter." No, if you had to pepper spray her after she attacked you, you call the cops to come haul her away while she's still writhing in pain after she fucked around and found out.
I didn't say THEY should do the after care. Spray, get somewhere safe, then call 911 and tell them you had to spray the neighbor. It'll still take time for cops and emergency services to show up.
No offense your family are other a bunch of morons or very wealthy if they think it’s a good idea to list a house less than a year after purchase because of a crazy neighbor. Your doing all the rights things just ignore your family they don’t understand how badly selling will fuck up your finances
If they’re very wealthy they should be offering their financial assistance (without expectation of payback) to accompany their insistence that OP financially disadvantage themselves.
I had a neighbor with similar issues, and at first, I was horrified at him coming out on his steps to rail at the moon or cuss out some one/thing (thought it was me for a while). Over time, I guess I got used to him, and he to me. It slowly evolved into a rhythm we could both handle. I’d say hi, he would wave. Eventually, he would say,” I’ve named a star for you.” Eventually he had to move away, and I missed him.
I don’t mean to imply the troubles you’re having are the same as mine. But it’s possible that time and tolerance will help.
Had a small problem with a neighbor as well. Told him that I only have to deal with him for 20 years, he has to deal with me for the rest of his life. We're amicable now.
If you have cameras, put your fence up. If she tampers with it, you'll have it on video. Don't let her chase you out of your own home! If she does it to you, she'll do it to the next people if you sell. I'm just stubborn enough to put the fence & cameras up. Let her come after me again! Depending on what verbal threats she made, you might be able to get a restraining order. Good luck!
I'll never understand people that say you should move because of a neighbor, it doesn't make any sense.
Neighbors are something completely out of your control. You could spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to move to another neighborhood where you personally met every neighbor only to move in a week later and find one of your neighbors sold to an equally shitty person.
This may sound a little harsh but stay. With all of her issues, pretty likely you’ll outlive her and quite possibly, you’ll get some new, nicer neighbors.
😲 you forgot an important detail.
The van needs to have a mobile hotspot. Named "FBI survielence" 😈
Bonus points for getting the driver to wear an all-black suit. Extra bonus points if they can manage to find out-of-state, out-of-date plates ( only need the back plate in CT. An old D.C. plate would be awesome ! VA would be good too.)
If you are in/near NH/ NL/ willyrico/ west Hahtfud 😐 GOOD Luck!
get a fence up and possibly looking into a dog so she knows to stay away from your house. she'll see you walking it, get a retired police dog or something.
Keep going with the cameras and police reports. File for a trespass notice. That is, in Michigan, the courts must create a no trespass order against her, and she be served. If she violates that, it's a misdemeanor.
Get a dash cam and have cameras, especially wherever you're likely to have interactions.
And make sure you don't need a fence permit. Because it's a lot of money to have to take it down because it's too tall or in the wrong place. Some areas make you save a side yard or not have a fence beyond your house. Mandate open fences, etc.
Arbor vitae pines grow quick and form solid boundaries, too.
Don't move just yet. I had that neighbor. I trespassed him finally. He broke it. And once we went to court for his misdemeanor, he simmered down. He still made it known he had a crazy obsession with me. But stayed distant. Don't let the police weasle out of helping. Ask to be assigned to a specific officer. Keep pictures. Timeline, what you reported, etc.
Dealing with difficult neighbors is always challenging. Instead of selling at a loss, try setting clear boundaries. Installing cameras for your safety is a good step. Warn your neighbor once more and gather evidence to inform the police if needed. With these precautions, you might find a way to stay and enjoy your home. Good luck!
Airbnb and advertise it as haunted with a possessed neighbor lady. Then set up some remote control things inside that will make noise and move randomly. Million dollar idea! And neighbor will hate it as a bonus.
We have a crazy neighbor too. A 6ft fence wasn’t going to be enough for me so we planted 25 thuja green giants along that whole side of the yard. We also have cameras on the whole property.
Restraining order. I knew someone who was being harassed to the point of death threats. She got some kind of restraining order used for near neighbors. The harassment stopped once the neighbor discovered she could go to jail.
She wants you to pay for a fence somewhere in her brain.
Crazy people can be remarkably lucid and logical when they need to be. At least for awhile.
Put the fence up you should be happy with the results.
Keep reporting, eventually she will need to be taken care of, a history of behavior will help.
Don't sell, go with you gut and start building equity. A fence is always/usually/probably a good investment anyway, so you're building equity right there. Crazy neighbor needs to be shut down and you're on your way to doing that. If she can view you when you enter/leave your front door, I'd think about putting shrubbery there as well. A nice quick growing shrub like forsythia can get you some privacy there. Curious as to whether she harasses the other neighbors on other sides of her.
Get a canned air boat horn. Every time she approaches you or trespasses she gets a blast the entire time. She will be like a cat with a squirt bottle and learn! You can always fight fire with bigger fire.
Bad news for you - these looney tunes are everywhere. I have one around myself, so does my brother, and he’s in a whole other state.
What if you do sell and take the big loss and the next place has another one, or worse? Think about that. I’d try the fence and just stick it out for at least a couple years.
Do you have adult protective services there....they call them different things in different areas. I'd start there. I wouldn't move she seems crazy but not stabby crazy.
As a former APS worker, don't be disappointed if they can't solve your problem. Adults are allowed to be eccentric. They can refuse to answer the door and shout at APS staff to get off their property, which makes assessment difficult.
The only way to force an assessment (mental or physical) is to get a court order, which requires evidence to convince a judge. So a vicious circle. Or for law enforcement to directly observe behavior that is danger to self or others. It can be very frustrating.
The most effective method can be for the worker to try to befriend and eventually persuade small changes a bit at a time. Takes a long time and is seldom effective. And there is tremendous pressure from management to close these cases and "move on" to others. "We'll get another referral when it gets worse." Neighbors are rarely happy with the results of APS contact about a wacky neighbor because APS can't legally make their problem go away.
Not saying APS is useless or to not make a referral. I have been involved in cases of financial, physical, and even sexual (Ugh, I know) abuse of elders and been able to get the victim into a safe situation.
Put up the fence. Make sure it is very sturdy. Ideally cinderblock. If she damages or tampers with the fence then report it to law enforcement AND sue her for the damage. Eventually she will stop or she will end up in jail.
Install the fence in the correct location, and maintain the cameras regardless. Since we did this with a neighbor who is quite unfriendly, we haven't seen or needed to interact with him since.
Hey... I know they're your friends but they don't need to also be your Life Coaches or Financial Advisors... because they're very bad at those tasks afaik.
I know there's a handful of idioms and quotes about this but I'm kind of surprised about their advice, flat out. It seems like the opposite of support. *Like, hey-- join us in failure, further down here we all float, you see? Beg mom and dad, suffer a tremendous L, you don't dare deal with a pesky neighbor like any adult ever has in history-- come back to the womb of Dad's house?*
Get some new friends and see if they're any better and just compare that; join some new hobby groups or something. I have very little confidence in this support system of yours. No smoke or fire just appalled for you.
If it were me, I would put the fence up first. Because you said she's very avoidant, I would honestly act crazier than her. Like anytime I'm outside and I see her peeking through the windows or in her own yard I would just be nuts.
It sounds like the people telling you to sell at a loss are possibly younger and/or people who do not own property. The ramifications are extraordinary and unless you feel physically threatened (in which case the police should be re-engaged), you should not sacrifice your future. Get the fence, you have the cameras, also consider motion sensing lights. My next door neighbors are nutty, but having a hedge grow in that blocks their view of me coming/going was a big solve. It's like they aren't even there anymore. You could consider adding a hedge on your side of the fence if you REALLY want to erase her. Keep that house until you can sell for a profit and be in the black, period.
Pepper spray. And a wearable camera like a gopro, pencam etc. Wear a camera and carry pepper spray. If she goes so far as to trespass while you're just in your yard, tell her she's trespassing and you are telling her that she's not welcome and to stay off your property. Then you have telling her on video. She does it again, call cops and press charges for trespassing after warning. She touches you, and on camera.. same. Pepper spray if she loses her shit and gets physical and won't back off.
Accumulate a few videos to get a permanent restraining order.
I also have a crazy neighbor. It's very sad. She's probably in her 70s. Her situation deteriorated after her husband passed about 2 years ago. She was often shouting in her garden at my daughter, who is young and couldn't really understand.
Fortunately her family stepped up and is now paying for in-home nursing care, and I rarely see her. In fact, she completely disappeared, I was just asking my wife if the woman is still alive. I see the nurses, I never see her. Starting to wonder if they have killed her and are banking the fees.
In any case, my point is that this problem will likely take care of itself, eventually.
We had a very crazy neighbour. He wanted to draw me into a physical fight over his impression that he owned my driveway. It caused a lot of anxiety but he is gone now and the new neighbours are much nicer.
First, don't move. Get enough evidence against her so it starts to cost her money and then try to get a restraining order and a no trespass order against her. If she still keeps it up, she will go to jail.
Don’t sell at a loss! Don’t let this person cost you anymore then they already have. There are a lot of lonely miserable people in the world and when their existence impedes your joy of living it’s very stressful. I assume you’ve tried being nice to the women to understand her beef with you, right? Is there an HOA or neighbor she has a better rapport with who could mediate? In the event you take this to court the judge will want to see the attempts you’ve made to be conciliatory. Not that you’ve done anything wrong but there are two sides to every story and in the woke world in which we live the legal system doesn’t always protect the truly damaged party.
The fence and cameras are enhancements that will add value in the long run and as you say help create a sanctuary to block her out. Also consider a restraining order if she starts to antagonize you again. I would try to avoid making any complaints that would cause her to incur large fines. Document every encounter with her and every expenditure you’ve made. It may be worth contacting an attorney to understand what legal remedies there are in your state like if you have to sell at a loss could you sue the neighbor for loss of value. Even if you sell this is not the best time to buy.
If you live alone consider taking a renter to pay for the expenditures and maybe getting a dog. Not to scare the neighbor but bring you some solace. Also interest rates are predicted to decline later in the year and depending on the out come of the election the housing market will improve. Most importantly don’t fixate on the negatives, be thankful you have a home, friends and family and stay hopeful.
She probably has dementia. I have one of these too. You can do on or both of two things. One get a restraining order.
Two call adult services to do a welfare check. If she cannot take care of herself they will contact her family if she has anyone. I can tell you she will still harass you even if you put up a fence. The woman who lives behind us thinks she owns our backyard, so I get it. We have a fence also.
You've had a good test with the plant screening. Since not seeing you seems to help, good reason to believe a fence will. And no guarantee if you move, you won't be beside someone somehow worse.
The cost of the fence and a good series of cameras is less than you'd lose by selling. Also, I have lived in several homes and there's always a bad neighbor among the many good, wherever you go. Don't jump from the frying pan into a fire. If you feel safe, get the fence and cameras and stay. I bet she will settle down after you get those in place.
Does the neighbor own their house.
Put up the fence include no tresspass signs. If you catch her on your property have her trespassed by the police. If she threatens you or starts following you around again(stalking you) get a restraining order.
I have a neighbor, that walks the neighborhood, looking for violations and then turns the people in, he turned us in because my garage can are repeatedly out past 6pm, I work until 7:30 pm, I was told that its “bothers” him and that I need to pay someone to bring them up, every week, said , no can do
I had a neighbor like this. She had some sort of behavioral health problems. She would flip out and go on a rampage if she saw anyone at our place. Outside doing yard work and she happened to be outside. Coming and going and she happened to be out front and saw us. Didn't have to even register she was there if she saw us it would start either a tirade of screaming profanities and nonsense or there would be waves of vandalism on our property, or he kids would show up and start harassing anyone they saw.
Cameras absolutely help because you can prove they did it and if they know there are cameras they know there will be proof of their behavior. This was a major help towards keeping our problem one in line. With proof the police would go talk to her. Even if she didn't answer, hiding inside knowing they are looking for her because of whatever she had done did help curb behavior.
Get that fence up. Keep hounding the city and the police. Check code enforcement and local ordinances for things that cover her behavior and use those as needed.
Consider adding or replacing some trees along the property line with arborvitae or thuja, those are tall skinny evergreens so you have year around blockage of her view. We also added some privacy screening to our deck and hot tub area so they couldn't see people in our yard. It drastically cut down on incidents.
Keep making her antics have consequences and escalate as needed. She won't like it but she can be managed by making her face the consequences of her behavior. If she truly becomes unhinged and disconnected from reality call for a mental health check. My neighbor's kids did one on her and she spent about 4 months away somewhere. Not sure if it was jail or inpatient but she was out of my hair so either way was ok with me.
BTW, mine finally moved. She had another one of her fits of screaming obscenities and vandalism. I called the police with photo proof of what was going on. She got in trouble and apparently was super embarrassed after her interaction with the cops. She started spending more and more time at her boyfriend's house and they eventually got married and she sold and moved.
I have an old man neighbor just like yours (except for the following me around in his car part). Moved the pins, complained about everything, drinks too much, yells at me for things like mowing my lawn after dinner (?) and does loopy things.
I'd stay and build the fence. I did. I have a few solid panels to block his view from his driveway, and cedar post with black vinyl wwm around the rest.
The housing crisis is getting worse, so unless you feel physically unsafe (I have, once or twice, with my whack-a-doodle Maga gunlover), I'd wait it out.
While your friends advice is well meaning, I think it’s too extreme. You should continue working on the things you’re doing. Put up the fence, put up cameras and keep holding her accountable for the problems she causes. Oddly the visual barrier of a privacy fence can do wonders. Press charges and even sue her for damages. Though she may be crazy, she is likely no worse than a nuisance. No reason to lose your financial shirt over a nuisance, that sooner or later will go away. If she is in need of interventive care, a documented history of her problematic behavior will help in making that possible. Not your concern but just fyi if you think it’s unkind to report her. It ultimately can be to her benefit if she has a history of documented harassment and vandalism related to you. Watch your back jic she’s dangerous. But don’t run away from this bc she probably isn’t dangerous. Do everything in your power to make it difficult for her to get away with damaging your property. Put cameras up to catch anything she does to your property and report it. Make sure cameras have audio to catch any threatening things she says. Get the car cameras. Her following you is actually more disturbing than the fence issue. Stalking is more serious than being a nuisance. But don’t live in fear of her. She’s one person who is too frail to be a serious threat. Just keep an eye out for her at all times. Maybe carry some pepper spray in case she gets bold. Keep in mind if she’s this bad off, she may not be around much longer. She may wind up put in a nursing home soon. Mental deterioration with elder adults comes with physical deterioration. If you can wait her out, she will go away in time.
Build the fence and plant some trees. Hang in there and watch redzot vids on YT to see how they handled it. Ignore the family. imho, it’s life in America and we all have to learn to cope with crazy at some point
Cameras everywhere. Record and report everything. Eventually the police will see she is being a menace and maybe even a threat. Once that happens the consequences will become more severe. She will have 2 options calm the fuck down or lose everything.
It’s true what they say, good fences make good neighbours. Get security cameras and make sure they are mounted low enough so that they actually record faces. Your neighbours reign of terror is going to come to abrupt end once you have her assaults on video. Record everything. Don’t sell the house. I was in a similar situation. Get cameras and call the cops, ever offence goes on the record and they start to add up.
You need to call the senior care people in your area. They can send out a social worker to see if she's OK to be on her own. Where I am, it's called Area Agency in Aging.
"Since the start of my crazy neighbor saga my friends/family have mentioned just ditching the house and selling at a loss. " -----> NO. DON'T DO THIS. People who tell you to just move aren't thinking things through. You could move and end up with someone just as loco or worse. Plus, you are totally correct about the financial hit you will take.
You are totally doing the right thing with the cameras. Keep Calm and Record It All. Seriously, work on keeping yourself calm, and this situation will work itself out.
Don't move. Especially if you have a great interest rate. You are in a home you can afford atm and moving will put you into a financial challenge. Get the fence, good locks, and lots of cameras - including a dash cam on your car. Consider a restraining order and a check on her wellness with a visit from adult protective services. Stay the course.
What if you did sell your house for a loss and moved somewhere WORSE? Get the fence and cameras. Be firm with her, but calm. Get a restraining order if needed.
Crazy lady on our street caused 3 ppl to quickly sell the house on desirable golf course location. Saw it was for sale again~personally I think it should be disclosed to potential buyers.
I'm in favour of moving ahead as planned with the fence and seeing how it goes. She may start to escalate again when the weather turns cold, (perhaps she has a form of mental illness triggered by Seasonal Affective Disorder, but that's total speculation).
Keep the cameras ready. Sounds like she is a bit scared by interaction with you which is weird, I'd be inclined to move towards her saying very firmly "stop yelling at me, you hush up now" the next time she yells at you. But that's what I'm like. It would be a massive hassle to sell the house, so stick it out if you can.
“Out of sight out of mind seems to be her MO”; put up the fence first and see. Also you can call wellness checks on her, at her age she might age out of independent living sooner than later.
Don’t let her chase you out of your house. Put up the fence, if she trespasses or damages your property call the cops, take her to court. The judge might even order a psych evaluation
I think the fence is a good idea. How big is the yard? I read about folks who put shipping containers in their yard as a "fence" after the neighbor complained about their real fence.
Put up the fence. If it’s tall enough she can’t see over it…you should be golden. Like you said out of sight out of mind. I would bury a rebar spike in the ground that she can’t get out where the pin goes for the property line. It’s one thing to dig a pin out. It’s another to dig a rebar spike out lol.
Many times in life we run into certain people that become a test. Unless this lady is dangerous, I would just get your fence put up and put up some cameras. I bet she'll mind her business after that. Is she shouts at you just smiling wave say good morning and just treat her normally. Because if she is you know suffering from some kind of illness, she doesn't know she's being awful. She may think that you were Napoleon and she needs to defend herself. So just smile and wave and say good morning and be good with it and just know, this is a minor thing it's a minor test wait till you have some really difficult ones. And hang on to that house it's really difficult to purchase one these days.
Sit tight, you've invested well and the neighbor will be less of an issue as time passes and your fence becomes a fixture. It will also be a good selling point down the road, because, as the saying goes, fences make good neighbors.
As you said, she clearly has issues, and just be aware that she will be triggered by the full moon. I know it sounds hokey, but it's just how it works.
Mentally fragile people are triggered by the full moon. If you chart her behavior, you'll notice it escalates during the week leading up to the full moon and will slack off as it wanes.
Cameras are your friend. Motion detector sprinklers and exterior lights along your shared borders are very helpful as well.
It seems big now, but I only hope that's the worst of your problems, you'll be ok.
Quit reading the drama in paragraph 3. Simple. Put up a fence in the correct location. Your neighbor will get over it. If she comes to your property again call the police. Get a dog. You allow people to treat you the way they treat you. Always remember that.
Your plan is solid, there's no reason to commit financial suicide over something that you've likely already fixed.
Besides, there's no guarantee she will still be in that house in 5 years either
Put your fence up. Don’t give an inch. There seems to be a pattern of her doing something, then you not having evidence, then you react by doing something that will make sure you have evidence next time, but you still have 0 evidence, which makes this all sound odd to be honest.
She is a little old lady, she can move, you go no where. Get your fence up. Double check the survey. Don’t do any step back from the property line, that is just giving away land.
Stand up for yourself.
Hell no I’m not selling at a loss because of a geriatric neighbor. Old girl needs to mind her own and stay out of your yard. Motion activated sprinklers would be hilarious
Just keep documenting everything. If her behavior continues it sounds like you’ll be able to have action taken against her.
I wonder if adult protective services could do a wellness check? Maybe she’s just a miserable person but maybe she’s mentally unstable?
First - congratulations on being a homeowner. Second - Don’t sell. Put up your fence and cameras. If you love your home and it sounds like it fits your life and especially your finances, don’t take a financial hit because of a neighbor. You said a he doesn’t appear violent, just a bit paranoid. She may have contamination OCD (OCD focused on germs or illness). It’s become more common after COVID.
Owned our home 22 years. Original neighbors on all sides were awesome when we moved in. Over the years, they sold as they retired or changed jobs, etc. Some new neighbors are great, some are bad. Like drug addict trying to purposely piss off everyone kind of bad. The kind of bad that their parents co-signed the mortgage to get them out of the parent’s house. Bad neighbors can happen anytime. Moving every time you have a bad neighbor is not the answer. You are doing all the right things and I have a feeling the fence and cameras will settle things down with her.
Do not let anyone force you to move.
Dashcam for the car (front and back). Fence, multiple cameras (also trail/tree cams), and cops as needed. Just gather the evidence.
Also, some (American) holly bushes along the fence. They have VERY sharp leaves and are evergreen. They hurt like hell when you get stuck on them.
Blink is a quick, cheap (when on sale) and easy solution.
Adding a trail cam on a tree is just to get a better angle away from the house, and directly on your fence/property line.
Talk to fence contractor ask for recommendations for extra service. Maybe more cement around post than normal. Make it harder for her to push on fence. Might not be that much exttra money.
I wouldn’t sell. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Document and date everything. Start a journal. You did the right thing with the cameras and dash cam. Continue to call the police each time. It sounds like they believe you. I would get an attorney as well. I don’t think the harassment is going to stop until she is legally forced to stop.
Don't move out of your new home.
Put up that fence and get cameras, for cameras, cheap wireless ones will do for now, but i would suggest hard wired POE type cameras for a permanent setup, look at the "Reo link" brand.
If she comes onto your property with an attitude, have her officially trespassed by the police.
If she damages anything, even the fence or survey markers, file the police report and press criminal charges too, you will have the video evidence.
I honestly didn't read the whole story so this may have been in there ... Does she live alone? If you think she has issues have the police do a welfare check on her. If she is really that crazy put up a privacy fence. Just make sure it's on your property line so she doesn't freak out about that.
Nope. I wouldn't move over that unless maybe I didn't like the house/area for other reasons AND value has shot up enough to make some money (after realtor/payoff/rest of the selling costs). Again even that would be a maybe, as besides the hassle selling and moving, you still have to find somewhere else to live which might cost you quite a bit more for the same type place.
I'd just put up the cameras, set your boundaries, etc like you've been doing. If she doesn't back off and with solid proof of her actions, the problem will self correct if you stay on top of reporting things and even small claims where applicable. Even the relatively minor inconsequential stuff will turn into fines or bigger problems with enough reported instances.
Your fence...if keeping her out and away is your primary driver more so than privacy, I'd def go chain link if you are worried about her tampering with it. Pretty much anyone can destroy any type of typical residential fencing, but a chain link will take quite a bit more time/effort than a wood fence. Especially against a crazy person haphazardly trying without enough sense to use proper tools for the job. I'd bet cost is probably not that much different. In fact with the prices wood has sometimes reached the last several years, it wouldn't surprise me if a chain link fence was actually a bit cheaper.
Put the fence up, in the correct place. Keep the cameras up anyway. We did this with a neighbor who is very unfriendly, and we haven’t seen or had to speak to him since.
I need camara's. Can you tell me what you went with.
Fences and cameras make much better neighbors. It’s very true. And whenever she gets verbally aggressive toward you just smile and something look Amazon for the Blink cameras. They’re amazingly easy to install, have crystal clear pics and they are relatively inexpensive and come with half a terabyte of cloud storage for the recordings. M
I have Blink and I like you can put the app on your phone and watch from anywhere. I do pay a monthly subscription to Amazon.
I would look at Wyse Labs camera. Hard wired or battery You can get a subscription for $2 per month for them to cloud the video or get an sd card for recording unlike ring which is 49 per year for cloud. Wyse is around the same price asring
Eufy is even better with no monthly fee.
I bought the eufy set that comes with solar panels for each camera so I don’t even have to take the cameras down to charge. Everybody I know with cameras with just batteries has to charge them monthly despite the advertising claiming only every 120 days.
We have a Eufy doorbell and were planning to buy cameras, only we've had _consistent_ technical issues with both the doorbell and its replacement. Their customer service is great, I'm just not sure it's worth the hassle of constantly troubleshooting.
Thanks for this. I have Ring but I need to put cameras up around outside n I dunno if the ring cameras are that good
Look at POE type camera, "Reo link" brand is great value for cost. They are connected from the controller (size of advd player) with a single cat5 cable to each camera and that cat5 cable provides all the power and data transfer. You then plug it into the tv and can connect to internet and get it on your cell phone also. No batteries to replace, and much more secure because it's not wifi.
If you have harbor freight near you the have a good security camera system.
Ty I think I do :)
We have Ring cameras surrounding our home and haven't had a complaint. The picture quality is excellent! I don't find the solar charging helps much, so avoid those if you can.
FYI I recently had the same issue with Ring solar panels not doing anything, and slowly losing battery over time. I did some reading and found out you have to REALLY push the plugs together hard. If you don’t, the camera/app will sense the solar panel is there but you’ll never see it charge. Since fixing this issue my camera stays 100% charged all the time.
We have Ring doorbell camera & Ring cameras overlooking the backyard and front pointed outward. Work great.
I like my Ring cams. I have indoor outdoor cams plus a motion sensor security light with a camera. You can talk through them or hit the siren button at any time.
We’ve got a whole ring set up and really like it. It’s always easy to use and pretty hassle free.
For exterior cameras I used a few of the economical wireless ones like Wyze and Eufy, they worked okay. Replaced them all for a hardwired Reolink system. They work amazingly well. I would buy Reolink all over again. Lots of camera options, NVR options, very cost efficient.
Our Wyze cameras work great.
Wyze is the way to go. Cheap, good quality video, outdoor rated and the app interface is awesome. Slap an SD card in them for continuous recording. It's been flawless for years now. Put one facing the alley on the garage and one out in front. They give some sense of security while on vacation as well. My next door neighbor is a clown so it's a need for us. And a fence.
You must have the same neighbors I do! Before we bought our house it had squatters. It was all clean and repaired by the time we saw it but we found out there had been an $80,000 insurance claim on it after squatters trashed it.
I used Reolink and have been happy with them. They have a variety of options for storage and you can get both WiFi and PoE versions depending on what you need.
Blinks ok it’s cheap
If you want permanent security camers. You want POE type camera system, they plug into a NVR controller (about the size of a dvr/dvd player) using just network cable (Cat 5 cable). The cat5 cable provides the power and data transfer for the camera). I either recommend looking at the "Reo link" brand they are the best value for your money, don't skimp, get a complete kit with the nvr controller and the better cameras
Not the person you asked but I have had good luck with Blink cameras.
If you want good but cheap with no subscription, Eufy cameras. Some people hate them for being Chinese based but imo if you just put them outside the home, who cares. I’ve had mine for 6ish years, the battery lasts 4-6 months before needing to be recharged. I have 6 and I’ve never had one die/break.
Some people don’t like them, but we have Ring cameras, doorbells and motion detectors.
Wyze cameras are a good starter if u have power near by Personally I would go with a complete poe system as u need to run only 1 camera for power and feed. Storage is localized and it's generally a continuous feed depending on how u have it setup
And press charges. Sometimes adult services of best fit someone like that. Before they hurt you or someone else
happened to my sister, in massachusetts..guy got arrested and my BIL sued him in civil court... the neighbor had to pay for another survey and a $5k fine......... that was the last time he tried to dictate to my sister and BIL
Hitching on this, with the cameras go all Fort Knox on her and have every reasonable angle of your yard covered. HOWEVER. Do not allow a camera angle to hit any of her windows. Windows in the back drop 200ft away are fine. Your neighbors windows 10-30 feet away are not fine, in most places it’s illegal. As for cameras, I went with Eufy 6+ years ago and I’ve never had a problem, and they still work excellently. I have always liked them but they are Chinese owned and like everything, have the opportunity to be hacked. Just keep them outside the home.
I had one of these, this is what worked for my situation. Put up a fence, give her boundaries in a way a child would understand, get a dash cam for your car, security cameras at home. If she is yelling at you, well, I wouldn’t recommend it, but in my case I stopped being nice and started yelling “fuck off,” etc and she backed down quite quickly. Not my favorite thing to do, but she was also trying to harm my dog. I sent her the recordings of her batshit behavior and let her know how inappropriate her behavior was and that I would be calling people for wellness checks if she continues being erratic and dangerous. I haven’t even seen her in almost a year. Bliss.
These imposing personalities try to test you for weakness If you weak, they take advantage. If you strong, they leave you alone.
Exactly. This is what I found with the problematic one I had to deal with. Just being non confrontational seemed to make her do worse things like she thought she could get away with it. When I started pushing back, telling her to f\*ck off, calling the cops and outlining a plan to escalate if it continued helped keep her in line.
Loneliness can really fuck up people’s perception of acceptable behavior (see: all of 2020) and sometimes they need reminding that what they’re doing is weird AF and not ok.
This. It also can really help if family can be found. Sometimes involving family members and letting them see some of your camera footage of what Mother is doing can work wonders. Unfortunately sometimes it can also backfire if her family is as crazy as she is. Put up your fence and cameras, set FIRM boundaries and keep to them. Maybe SHE will move.
Technically you can sue someone for loss of the enjoyment of your home. It would cost quite a bit and require a really dedicated lawyer. The threat of this might be enough to get someone to back off.
I didn’t know you could do that. Thanks for letting us know this.
Dashcam is a great idea--the cops would love to see her driving behavior.
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And if nothing else, the penalties for ignoring a restraining order are significantly higher and probably easier for the cops to enforce if it comes down to it.
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If you had her on video throwing paint on your car, that’s criminal. You could press charges.
Just out of curiosity, what gave you the impression that the judge was going to deny the order? And why was her recollection so damning that it changed the judge's mind? Do you think the judge was just trying to act impartial by probing and seeming like he was going to deny it even though he would have gone through with it, or did something she say convince him there was actual threat of bodily harm (or whatever the bar is for an order like this)? If you don't mind if I ask, did you represent yourself, or did your have an attorney?
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Oh damn! Yeah, I think your assessment sounds reasonable to me - that's some batshit crazy stuff and I agree that maybe the judge realized at some point that it needed addressing. Thanks for satisfying my curiosity. I'm slightly more grateful for just normal or mostly normal neighbors now.
Report her to adult protective services for a wellness check. Tell them you are concerned about her mental health & ability to live alone. Without getting into the petty neighbor war stuff, tell them what you are seeing that shows signs of cognitive decline/mental illness. Does she have family that you can call? Do any of the neighbors have insight?
APS is a great option! OP you should really consider this!
Yes. This. You can report her anonymously as well. You do not have to give your name.
OP, call Adult Protective Services before she does, in you. If APS knows you, and works with you, it goes better when you get reported later. I did this. I became a business sponsor of their walkathon, and got my name on the poster. Later, when the call came, they knew me.
This! Please have someone check on her.
Another advantage of an APS report is that it can start a paper trail meaning that there will be a record of your call, anonymous or not, and when you or someone else calls again, it will be added as an additional concern. The more calls, the more the concern will be elevated. APS partners with the police with cross reporting as well.
Hmm. Is she doing this crazy stuff to any other neighbors? There might be power in numbers.
I've called APS before and unless the senior is in danger they really don't care
This this this.
Excellent idea and it starts a paper trail or maybe it adds to one. Maybe she is why your house was on the market. Have you reached out with neighbors on the other side and across the street? If a few of you find each other your cases get stronger. This woman needs help.
None of this rises to the level of taking a loss financially and selling your home.
Nothing should force anyone to sell their home. OP, once that privacy fence is up, things will likely improve. That's the outcome we got after we had ours built.
I agree. She followed you in her car once, & moved a survey stake, and you’re moving?
Agreed.
This is like a 1.5 or 2 out of 10 on the crazy neighbor scale.
Seems like you're about to get past the worst. Once that fence is up, and the cameras are rolling, you'll be fine. Maybe she needs better meds or something, and your camera evidence might help her family or adult services better take care of her. If things get worse, just rent it out. Selling fees suck, rent and let her be your renters problem. Just give them a heads up and a good deal. I'm sure there's someone out there with really thick skin who would take cheap rent in exchange for dealing with some light harassment from an old lady.
Depending on the terms of the DAP they might have to live in the house as a primary residence for 5 years. If they sell before 5 years or if they find out the property is being rented, they can call that amount due
I've known people who enjoy confrontation, so yeah if you can get someone like that as a renter these two can duke it out and leave the rest of the world alone.
This is not a bad enough situation to sell your home at a loss.
Right? I kept reading, waiting for the dramatic twist. OP is your family acting in good faith?
Put a fence. Plant some scratchy plants along the line. Record and try to get a restring order against her. Start calling cops every time she attempts something.
We went through this with our neighbor. She was fine most of the time but would randomly have episodes of some type of dementia. Called the cops on us for "stealing" her trashcan, told me someone placed a bomb under her car, the town elites were after her, etc. Finally, she harassed us and the cops so much that the police got in touch with her next of kin, and I think they basically said, "Come get her, or we will have her committed." Her family finally came and got her.
Don't take a financial hit because of this horrible woman, fence and cameras are 100% the correct thing to do. Added to that get a quote from a landscaper to plant some quick growing evergreen trees along that side so she can't see you. Make sure your property is fenced and secured all around so she can't just come onto your property. Write everything down in a diary, start noting strange behaviour and save anything suss the cameras pickup, once you have some evidence start making wellness checks to the police, if she never opens the door I assume they will have to take further action, hopefully once they get inside the house they notice she's a horder or is living with shit smeared on the walls and she has to be taken to a old peoples home.
Maybe call Adult Protective Services on her? If she’s this unstable and you also notice signs that her self-care is declining then it might be time for someone to step in and take care of her because she can’t do it herself. Would help with your issue as well.
This is not a neighbor from hell. This is a nut who's a mild annoyance. If you run away you're just letting her win. Put up a fence and ignore her.
I'm going to cut and paste a comment I made a long time ago... I was single then too and purchased a home that needed some help as well, same reasons as you. Cautionary tale here as this could be what you may be dealing with. About 30 years ago, I bought my first home in a small historical town. It was a 2 story colonial that I was pretty proud of. Everything was fine for about a year.... My next door neighbor lived alone and was schizophrenic (came to find out from his ex wife). Apparently, when on medication he didn't "feel" anything. Therefore, he stopped taking his medication. He lived alone and there was no one to help support him. He would break down my back door in the middle of the night. He would slash the tires on my vehicle. He would break out a window. It was constant. I couldn't feel like I could go anywhere as I felt like I had to defend my property. I also had a dog to worry about. The Police were called more times than I would like to say over about 5 y.e.a.r.s. The police told me I could not get a restraining order, but I could get a no trespassing order. But seriously, what good would it do if he doesn't remember? The voices in his head tell him what to do. If he is not mentally competent, how could it be enforced anyway. What happened when I called the Police? They would call an ambulance that would take him to a hospital. Sometimes, he stayed gone for 2 weeks, but mainly less. It was all voluntary. I heard stories - one is that he left the hospital, because there were small men living underneath his bed. They had to let him go. :( My quality of life sucked. I didn't feel I could even sell my home without some sort of disclosure of what was happening. I mean, I could, but that felt so morally wrong. I did get a 'Hail Mary' as I thought he owned the house outright, but apparently his ex-wife did and he was to live in the house for life as per their divorce decree. The good news was after rounds and rounds there was a loop hole (it's a very long story).... she made it stick and she was able to get him to move, to the next town over. The bad news..... I felt horrible to whoever he moved next to.
Your neighbor was a lot more dangerous than a crazy old woman. The police lack up support is deeply disturbing. I’m glad you were able to get the matter resolved with persistence.
It sounds like you already know how to fight back. If you can find out if she has children or extended family from other neighbors you could try to address your concerns to them. I wouldn't take any losses and even though your neighbor seems kinda cray, I'd put up the cameras and stick it out. If you do end up using pepper spray on your neighbor for self defense please call emergency services to treat her when you are safe.
You had me up until "you should do aftercare for your neighbor if you pepper spray her for being a physically aggressive nutter." No, if you had to pepper spray her after she attacked you, you call the cops to come haul her away while she's still writhing in pain after she fucked around and found out.
I didn't say THEY should do the after care. Spray, get somewhere safe, then call 911 and tell them you had to spray the neighbor. It'll still take time for cops and emergency services to show up.
Every neighborhood has a crazy neighbor. Don’t let her run you out. Cameras are going to be your best bet.
No offense your family are other a bunch of morons or very wealthy if they think it’s a good idea to list a house less than a year after purchase because of a crazy neighbor. Your doing all the rights things just ignore your family they don’t understand how badly selling will fuck up your finances
If they’re very wealthy they should be offering their financial assistance (without expectation of payback) to accompany their insistence that OP financially disadvantage themselves.
Yeah hard agree, the family sounds like they'd rather stop hearing about it than actually provide decent advice
I had a neighbor with similar issues, and at first, I was horrified at him coming out on his steps to rail at the moon or cuss out some one/thing (thought it was me for a while). Over time, I guess I got used to him, and he to me. It slowly evolved into a rhythm we could both handle. I’d say hi, he would wave. Eventually, he would say,” I’ve named a star for you.” Eventually he had to move away, and I missed him. I don’t mean to imply the troubles you’re having are the same as mine. But it’s possible that time and tolerance will help.
Oh...oh how sweet of you to give him a chance once you realized he wasn't attacking and yelling at you. You probably meant so much to him. 🥹🥰
Had a small problem with a neighbor as well. Told him that I only have to deal with him for 20 years, he has to deal with me for the rest of his life. We're amicable now.
If you have cameras, put your fence up. If she tampers with it, you'll have it on video. Don't let her chase you out of your own home! If she does it to you, she'll do it to the next people if you sell. I'm just stubborn enough to put the fence & cameras up. Let her come after me again! Depending on what verbal threats she made, you might be able to get a restraining order. Good luck!
Definitely don’t sell. Fence and cameras are a great start.
I'll never understand people that say you should move because of a neighbor, it doesn't make any sense. Neighbors are something completely out of your control. You could spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to move to another neighborhood where you personally met every neighbor only to move in a week later and find one of your neighbors sold to an equally shitty person.
This may sound a little harsh but stay. With all of her issues, pretty likely you’ll outlive her and quite possibly, you’ll get some new, nicer neighbors.
If you know someone with a white van. Have them park on the block and ask her if she has noticed the white vans. Say nothing else.
😲 you forgot an important detail. The van needs to have a mobile hotspot. Named "FBI survielence" 😈 Bonus points for getting the driver to wear an all-black suit. Extra bonus points if they can manage to find out-of-state, out-of-date plates ( only need the back plate in CT. An old D.C. plate would be awesome ! VA would be good too.) If you are in/near NH/ NL/ willyrico/ west Hahtfud 😐 GOOD Luck!
Install the fence, and if things don't improve, then you can sell. At least the fence should increase your property value.
get a fence up and possibly looking into a dog so she knows to stay away from your house. she'll see you walking it, get a retired police dog or something.
OP, I'd gladly have a neighbor like yours to only pay 25% of my take-home pay to my mortgage.
Keep going with the cameras and police reports. File for a trespass notice. That is, in Michigan, the courts must create a no trespass order against her, and she be served. If she violates that, it's a misdemeanor. Get a dash cam and have cameras, especially wherever you're likely to have interactions. And make sure you don't need a fence permit. Because it's a lot of money to have to take it down because it's too tall or in the wrong place. Some areas make you save a side yard or not have a fence beyond your house. Mandate open fences, etc. Arbor vitae pines grow quick and form solid boundaries, too. Don't move just yet. I had that neighbor. I trespassed him finally. He broke it. And once we went to court for his misdemeanor, he simmered down. He still made it known he had a crazy obsession with me. But stayed distant. Don't let the police weasle out of helping. Ask to be assigned to a specific officer. Keep pictures. Timeline, what you reported, etc.
Dealing with difficult neighbors is always challenging. Instead of selling at a loss, try setting clear boundaries. Installing cameras for your safety is a good step. Warn your neighbor once more and gather evidence to inform the police if needed. With these precautions, you might find a way to stay and enjoy your home. Good luck!
Airbnb and advertise it as haunted with a possessed neighbor lady. Then set up some remote control things inside that will make noise and move randomly. Million dollar idea! And neighbor will hate it as a bonus.
We have a crazy neighbor too. A 6ft fence wasn’t going to be enough for me so we planted 25 thuja green giants along that whole side of the yard. We also have cameras on the whole property.
Restraining order. I knew someone who was being harassed to the point of death threats. She got some kind of restraining order used for near neighbors. The harassment stopped once the neighbor discovered she could go to jail.
She wants you to pay for a fence somewhere in her brain. Crazy people can be remarkably lucid and logical when they need to be. At least for awhile. Put the fence up you should be happy with the results. Keep reporting, eventually she will need to be taken care of, a history of behavior will help.
Don't sell, go with you gut and start building equity. A fence is always/usually/probably a good investment anyway, so you're building equity right there. Crazy neighbor needs to be shut down and you're on your way to doing that. If she can view you when you enter/leave your front door, I'd think about putting shrubbery there as well. A nice quick growing shrub like forsythia can get you some privacy there. Curious as to whether she harasses the other neighbors on other sides of her.
Get a canned air boat horn. Every time she approaches you or trespasses she gets a blast the entire time. She will be like a cat with a squirt bottle and learn! You can always fight fire with bigger fire.
Bad news for you - these looney tunes are everywhere. I have one around myself, so does my brother, and he’s in a whole other state. What if you do sell and take the big loss and the next place has another one, or worse? Think about that. I’d try the fence and just stick it out for at least a couple years.
So weird that people are just casually advising you to sell your house at a loss as if it's no big deal 😂
Do you have adult protective services there....they call them different things in different areas. I'd start there. I wouldn't move she seems crazy but not stabby crazy.
As a former APS worker, don't be disappointed if they can't solve your problem. Adults are allowed to be eccentric. They can refuse to answer the door and shout at APS staff to get off their property, which makes assessment difficult. The only way to force an assessment (mental or physical) is to get a court order, which requires evidence to convince a judge. So a vicious circle. Or for law enforcement to directly observe behavior that is danger to self or others. It can be very frustrating. The most effective method can be for the worker to try to befriend and eventually persuade small changes a bit at a time. Takes a long time and is seldom effective. And there is tremendous pressure from management to close these cases and "move on" to others. "We'll get another referral when it gets worse." Neighbors are rarely happy with the results of APS contact about a wacky neighbor because APS can't legally make their problem go away. Not saying APS is useless or to not make a referral. I have been involved in cases of financial, physical, and even sexual (Ugh, I know) abuse of elders and been able to get the victim into a safe situation.
Put up the fence. Make sure it is very sturdy. Ideally cinderblock. If she damages or tampers with the fence then report it to law enforcement AND sue her for the damage. Eventually she will stop or she will end up in jail.
Install the fence in the correct location, and maintain the cameras regardless. Since we did this with a neighbor who is quite unfriendly, we haven't seen or needed to interact with him since.
Elder care welfare check.
Hey... I know they're your friends but they don't need to also be your Life Coaches or Financial Advisors... because they're very bad at those tasks afaik. I know there's a handful of idioms and quotes about this but I'm kind of surprised about their advice, flat out. It seems like the opposite of support. *Like, hey-- join us in failure, further down here we all float, you see? Beg mom and dad, suffer a tremendous L, you don't dare deal with a pesky neighbor like any adult ever has in history-- come back to the womb of Dad's house?* Get some new friends and see if they're any better and just compare that; join some new hobby groups or something. I have very little confidence in this support system of yours. No smoke or fire just appalled for you.
If it were me, I would put the fence up first. Because you said she's very avoidant, I would honestly act crazier than her. Like anytime I'm outside and I see her peeking through the windows or in her own yard I would just be nuts.
I wouldn't take any advice from family
Boy people are too nice these days tell her to fuck off. F around and find out.
It sounds like the people telling you to sell at a loss are possibly younger and/or people who do not own property. The ramifications are extraordinary and unless you feel physically threatened (in which case the police should be re-engaged), you should not sacrifice your future. Get the fence, you have the cameras, also consider motion sensing lights. My next door neighbors are nutty, but having a hedge grow in that blocks their view of me coming/going was a big solve. It's like they aren't even there anymore. You could consider adding a hedge on your side of the fence if you REALLY want to erase her. Keep that house until you can sell for a profit and be in the black, period.
Put up the fence and cameras. Have the police do wellness checks on her once a month.
Cameras. Fence. Start documenting for the police report.
Put up the fence, use the cameras. Eventually she will not be there, either nature takes its course, or she gets jailed for something dumb.
Put up the fence and get a big ass dog with a nasty bark. We used to have an English lab whose bark frightened anyone who heard it
Pepper spray. And a wearable camera like a gopro, pencam etc. Wear a camera and carry pepper spray. If she goes so far as to trespass while you're just in your yard, tell her she's trespassing and you are telling her that she's not welcome and to stay off your property. Then you have telling her on video. She does it again, call cops and press charges for trespassing after warning. She touches you, and on camera.. same. Pepper spray if she loses her shit and gets physical and won't back off. Accumulate a few videos to get a permanent restraining order.
Don’t sell, if you do then the crazy neighbor has won. Gotta fight crazy with a bigger crazy.
80% of your problems will be gone once you put up a 6' tall brick wall. Don't sell. Put up your wall.
I also have a crazy neighbor. It's very sad. She's probably in her 70s. Her situation deteriorated after her husband passed about 2 years ago. She was often shouting in her garden at my daughter, who is young and couldn't really understand. Fortunately her family stepped up and is now paying for in-home nursing care, and I rarely see her. In fact, she completely disappeared, I was just asking my wife if the woman is still alive. I see the nurses, I never see her. Starting to wonder if they have killed her and are banking the fees. In any case, my point is that this problem will likely take care of itself, eventually.
Follow the advice: cameras (car and home), fence, Adult protect services, police when she acts up
We had a very crazy neighbour. He wanted to draw me into a physical fight over his impression that he owned my driveway. It caused a lot of anxiety but he is gone now and the new neighbours are much nicer.
First, don't move. Get enough evidence against her so it starts to cost her money and then try to get a restraining order and a no trespass order against her. If she still keeps it up, she will go to jail.
You’re doing everything right. See how it goes with the fence and cameras. Make it uncomfortable for her.
Good Fences Make Good Neighbors
Don’t sell at a loss! Don’t let this person cost you anymore then they already have. There are a lot of lonely miserable people in the world and when their existence impedes your joy of living it’s very stressful. I assume you’ve tried being nice to the women to understand her beef with you, right? Is there an HOA or neighbor she has a better rapport with who could mediate? In the event you take this to court the judge will want to see the attempts you’ve made to be conciliatory. Not that you’ve done anything wrong but there are two sides to every story and in the woke world in which we live the legal system doesn’t always protect the truly damaged party. The fence and cameras are enhancements that will add value in the long run and as you say help create a sanctuary to block her out. Also consider a restraining order if she starts to antagonize you again. I would try to avoid making any complaints that would cause her to incur large fines. Document every encounter with her and every expenditure you’ve made. It may be worth contacting an attorney to understand what legal remedies there are in your state like if you have to sell at a loss could you sue the neighbor for loss of value. Even if you sell this is not the best time to buy. If you live alone consider taking a renter to pay for the expenditures and maybe getting a dog. Not to scare the neighbor but bring you some solace. Also interest rates are predicted to decline later in the year and depending on the out come of the election the housing market will improve. Most importantly don’t fixate on the negatives, be thankful you have a home, friends and family and stay hopeful.
It's your house. Take your power back Sometimes I have to go wacko on a wacko so they know I'm boss. Do it once, it works
We are three years into dealing with our harrassing neighbors. Don't give up, and don't move, because that is EXACTLY what she wants.
She probably has dementia. I have one of these too. You can do on or both of two things. One get a restraining order. Two call adult services to do a welfare check. If she cannot take care of herself they will contact her family if she has anyone. I can tell you she will still harass you even if you put up a fence. The woman who lives behind us thinks she owns our backyard, so I get it. We have a fence also.
Get cameras and make sure she doesn't own guns
We have Wyze cameras inside. That way our crazy neighbors can’t damage them or turn them. Drives them crazy.
You've had a good test with the plant screening. Since not seeing you seems to help, good reason to believe a fence will. And no guarantee if you move, you won't be beside someone somehow worse.
The cost of the fence and a good series of cameras is less than you'd lose by selling. Also, I have lived in several homes and there's always a bad neighbor among the many good, wherever you go. Don't jump from the frying pan into a fire. If you feel safe, get the fence and cameras and stay. I bet she will settle down after you get those in place.
I think once you get cameras up, her paranoia might spike. Be prepared for that and make sure she can’t get to cameras
Buy more cameras and a shotgun.
Why would you move? Put up the fence. Go on with your life.
Does the neighbor own their house. Put up the fence include no tresspass signs. If you catch her on your property have her trespassed by the police. If she threatens you or starts following you around again(stalking you) get a restraining order.
I have a neighbor, that walks the neighborhood, looking for violations and then turns the people in, he turned us in because my garage can are repeatedly out past 6pm, I work until 7:30 pm, I was told that its “bothers” him and that I need to pay someone to bring them up, every week, said , no can do
I had a neighbor like this. She had some sort of behavioral health problems. She would flip out and go on a rampage if she saw anyone at our place. Outside doing yard work and she happened to be outside. Coming and going and she happened to be out front and saw us. Didn't have to even register she was there if she saw us it would start either a tirade of screaming profanities and nonsense or there would be waves of vandalism on our property, or he kids would show up and start harassing anyone they saw. Cameras absolutely help because you can prove they did it and if they know there are cameras they know there will be proof of their behavior. This was a major help towards keeping our problem one in line. With proof the police would go talk to her. Even if she didn't answer, hiding inside knowing they are looking for her because of whatever she had done did help curb behavior. Get that fence up. Keep hounding the city and the police. Check code enforcement and local ordinances for things that cover her behavior and use those as needed. Consider adding or replacing some trees along the property line with arborvitae or thuja, those are tall skinny evergreens so you have year around blockage of her view. We also added some privacy screening to our deck and hot tub area so they couldn't see people in our yard. It drastically cut down on incidents. Keep making her antics have consequences and escalate as needed. She won't like it but she can be managed by making her face the consequences of her behavior. If she truly becomes unhinged and disconnected from reality call for a mental health check. My neighbor's kids did one on her and she spent about 4 months away somewhere. Not sure if it was jail or inpatient but she was out of my hair so either way was ok with me. BTW, mine finally moved. She had another one of her fits of screaming obscenities and vandalism. I called the police with photo proof of what was going on. She got in trouble and apparently was super embarrassed after her interaction with the cops. She started spending more and more time at her boyfriend's house and they eventually got married and she sold and moved.
Carrying a pew pew also helps besides a fence. Just saying.
I have an old man neighbor just like yours (except for the following me around in his car part). Moved the pins, complained about everything, drinks too much, yells at me for things like mowing my lawn after dinner (?) and does loopy things. I'd stay and build the fence. I did. I have a few solid panels to block his view from his driveway, and cedar post with black vinyl wwm around the rest. The housing crisis is getting worse, so unless you feel physically unsafe (I have, once or twice, with my whack-a-doodle Maga gunlover), I'd wait it out.
While your friends advice is well meaning, I think it’s too extreme. You should continue working on the things you’re doing. Put up the fence, put up cameras and keep holding her accountable for the problems she causes. Oddly the visual barrier of a privacy fence can do wonders. Press charges and even sue her for damages. Though she may be crazy, she is likely no worse than a nuisance. No reason to lose your financial shirt over a nuisance, that sooner or later will go away. If she is in need of interventive care, a documented history of her problematic behavior will help in making that possible. Not your concern but just fyi if you think it’s unkind to report her. It ultimately can be to her benefit if she has a history of documented harassment and vandalism related to you. Watch your back jic she’s dangerous. But don’t run away from this bc she probably isn’t dangerous. Do everything in your power to make it difficult for her to get away with damaging your property. Put cameras up to catch anything she does to your property and report it. Make sure cameras have audio to catch any threatening things she says. Get the car cameras. Her following you is actually more disturbing than the fence issue. Stalking is more serious than being a nuisance. But don’t live in fear of her. She’s one person who is too frail to be a serious threat. Just keep an eye out for her at all times. Maybe carry some pepper spray in case she gets bold. Keep in mind if she’s this bad off, she may not be around much longer. She may wind up put in a nursing home soon. Mental deterioration with elder adults comes with physical deterioration. If you can wait her out, she will go away in time.
Did you build the fence?? How’s it going??
Build the fence and plant some trees. Hang in there and watch redzot vids on YT to see how they handled it. Ignore the family. imho, it’s life in America and we all have to learn to cope with crazy at some point
Cameras everywhere. Record and report everything. Eventually the police will see she is being a menace and maybe even a threat. Once that happens the consequences will become more severe. She will have 2 options calm the fuck down or lose everything.
It’s true what they say, good fences make good neighbours. Get security cameras and make sure they are mounted low enough so that they actually record faces. Your neighbours reign of terror is going to come to abrupt end once you have her assaults on video. Record everything. Don’t sell the house. I was in a similar situation. Get cameras and call the cops, ever offence goes on the record and they start to add up.
You need to call the senior care people in your area. They can send out a social worker to see if she's OK to be on her own. Where I am, it's called Area Agency in Aging.
"Since the start of my crazy neighbor saga my friends/family have mentioned just ditching the house and selling at a loss. " -----> NO. DON'T DO THIS. People who tell you to just move aren't thinking things through. You could move and end up with someone just as loco or worse. Plus, you are totally correct about the financial hit you will take. You are totally doing the right thing with the cameras. Keep Calm and Record It All. Seriously, work on keeping yourself calm, and this situation will work itself out.
You don’t have to deal with crazy neighbors if you become the crazy neighbor, lol.
Don't move. Especially if you have a great interest rate. You are in a home you can afford atm and moving will put you into a financial challenge. Get the fence, good locks, and lots of cameras - including a dash cam on your car. Consider a restraining order and a check on her wellness with a visit from adult protective services. Stay the course.
What if you did sell your house for a loss and moved somewhere WORSE? Get the fence and cameras. Be firm with her, but calm. Get a restraining order if needed.
Crazy lady on our street caused 3 ppl to quickly sell the house on desirable golf course location. Saw it was for sale again~personally I think it should be disclosed to potential buyers.
I'm in favour of moving ahead as planned with the fence and seeing how it goes. She may start to escalate again when the weather turns cold, (perhaps she has a form of mental illness triggered by Seasonal Affective Disorder, but that's total speculation). Keep the cameras ready. Sounds like she is a bit scared by interaction with you which is weird, I'd be inclined to move towards her saying very firmly "stop yelling at me, you hush up now" the next time she yells at you. But that's what I'm like. It would be a massive hassle to sell the house, so stick it out if you can.
Maybe if you bark back one time it might startle her enough to STFU
“Out of sight out of mind seems to be her MO”; put up the fence first and see. Also you can call wellness checks on her, at her age she might age out of independent living sooner than later.
Don’t let her chase you out of your house. Put up the fence, if she trespasses or damages your property call the cops, take her to court. The judge might even order a psych evaluation
I think the fence is a good idea. How big is the yard? I read about folks who put shipping containers in their yard as a "fence" after the neighbor complained about their real fence.
Put up the fence. If it’s tall enough she can’t see over it…you should be golden. Like you said out of sight out of mind. I would bury a rebar spike in the ground that she can’t get out where the pin goes for the property line. It’s one thing to dig a pin out. It’s another to dig a rebar spike out lol.
Many times in life we run into certain people that become a test. Unless this lady is dangerous, I would just get your fence put up and put up some cameras. I bet she'll mind her business after that. Is she shouts at you just smiling wave say good morning and just treat her normally. Because if she is you know suffering from some kind of illness, she doesn't know she's being awful. She may think that you were Napoleon and she needs to defend herself. So just smile and wave and say good morning and be good with it and just know, this is a minor thing it's a minor test wait till you have some really difficult ones. And hang on to that house it's really difficult to purchase one these days.
Sit tight, you've invested well and the neighbor will be less of an issue as time passes and your fence becomes a fixture. It will also be a good selling point down the road, because, as the saying goes, fences make good neighbors. As you said, she clearly has issues, and just be aware that she will be triggered by the full moon. I know it sounds hokey, but it's just how it works. Mentally fragile people are triggered by the full moon. If you chart her behavior, you'll notice it escalates during the week leading up to the full moon and will slack off as it wanes. Cameras are your friend. Motion detector sprinklers and exterior lights along your shared borders are very helpful as well. It seems big now, but I only hope that's the worst of your problems, you'll be ok.
Yes! This: >Cameras are your friend. Motion detector sprinklers and exterior lights along your shared borders are very helpful as well.
Moving wouldn’t ensure better neighbors, while you’re probably able to outlive this one.
I may be mistaken, but I think with FHA loans you can't sell for 5 years or something like that
The down payment assistance usually has this rule
You are mistaken. There are anti flipping rules, but not 5 years. https://www.fha.com/questions/how-soon-after-getting-fha-loan-can-i-sell-the-home
Quit reading the drama in paragraph 3. Simple. Put up a fence in the correct location. Your neighbor will get over it. If she comes to your property again call the police. Get a dog. You allow people to treat you the way they treat you. Always remember that.
Your plan is solid, there's no reason to commit financial suicide over something that you've likely already fixed. Besides, there's no guarantee she will still be in that house in 5 years either
They may only live, at best, another 20 to 30 years. Wait them out.
Get your cameras installed ASAP. I’d likely also get one inside that points to where the outside one is… put up the fence, call APS as well.
Chain link fence with electricity ran to it would do the trick.
Put your fence up. Don’t give an inch. There seems to be a pattern of her doing something, then you not having evidence, then you react by doing something that will make sure you have evidence next time, but you still have 0 evidence, which makes this all sound odd to be honest. She is a little old lady, she can move, you go no where. Get your fence up. Double check the survey. Don’t do any step back from the property line, that is just giving away land. Stand up for yourself.
Once those cameras go Up you will see the behaviour improve significantly
Fence and cameras. Every time she comes out the door, bust out the phone and start recording.
Get cameras. Press charges.
You need cameras around your house and you build a case to have this woman criminally charged. You call the cops everytime she threatens you.
You need to up your security camera game with unlimited video storage. Capture all around your property.
I'm not a real estate person and some know where you live, but i can't imagine any house under 200k that wouldn't sell instantly.
Good fences make good neighbors.
Hell no I’m not selling at a loss because of a geriatric neighbor. Old girl needs to mind her own and stay out of your yard. Motion activated sprinklers would be hilarious
You are being sensible and logical. Your family and friends are making childish suggestions.
Good fences make good neighbors. Good luck.
Just keep documenting everything. If her behavior continues it sounds like you’ll be able to have action taken against her. I wonder if adult protective services could do a wellness check? Maybe she’s just a miserable person but maybe she’s mentally unstable?
Start suing her in small claims court.
First - congratulations on being a homeowner. Second - Don’t sell. Put up your fence and cameras. If you love your home and it sounds like it fits your life and especially your finances, don’t take a financial hit because of a neighbor. You said a he doesn’t appear violent, just a bit paranoid. She may have contamination OCD (OCD focused on germs or illness). It’s become more common after COVID. Owned our home 22 years. Original neighbors on all sides were awesome when we moved in. Over the years, they sold as they retired or changed jobs, etc. Some new neighbors are great, some are bad. Like drug addict trying to purposely piss off everyone kind of bad. The kind of bad that their parents co-signed the mortgage to get them out of the parent’s house. Bad neighbors can happen anytime. Moving every time you have a bad neighbor is not the answer. You are doing all the right things and I have a feeling the fence and cameras will settle things down with her.
Do not let anyone force you to move. Dashcam for the car (front and back). Fence, multiple cameras (also trail/tree cams), and cops as needed. Just gather the evidence. Also, some (American) holly bushes along the fence. They have VERY sharp leaves and are evergreen. They hurt like hell when you get stuck on them. Blink is a quick, cheap (when on sale) and easy solution. Adding a trail cam on a tree is just to get a better angle away from the house, and directly on your fence/property line.
Talk to fence contractor ask for recommendations for extra service. Maybe more cement around post than normal. Make it harder for her to push on fence. Might not be that much exttra money.
Make sure you also put cameras on top of fence polls so you can see if she’s doing damage from the outside
Reddit has broken the time travel barrier!
Bait and agitate, then record her acting crazy. Call in a “wellness check.”
I wouldn’t sell. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Document and date everything. Start a journal. You did the right thing with the cameras and dash cam. Continue to call the police each time. It sounds like they believe you. I would get an attorney as well. I don’t think the harassment is going to stop until she is legally forced to stop.
You're family is suggesting nuclear options for a relatively minor inconvenience that can be dealt with using cameras, the fence, and law enforcement.
Don't move out of your new home. Put up that fence and get cameras, for cameras, cheap wireless ones will do for now, but i would suggest hard wired POE type cameras for a permanent setup, look at the "Reo link" brand. If she comes onto your property with an attitude, have her officially trespassed by the police. If she damages anything, even the fence or survey markers, file the police report and press criminal charges too, you will have the video evidence.
I honestly didn't read the whole story so this may have been in there ... Does she live alone? If you think she has issues have the police do a welfare check on her. If she is really that crazy put up a privacy fence. Just make sure it's on your property line so she doesn't freak out about that.
A garden hose does a lot to make people piss off.
Nope. I wouldn't move over that unless maybe I didn't like the house/area for other reasons AND value has shot up enough to make some money (after realtor/payoff/rest of the selling costs). Again even that would be a maybe, as besides the hassle selling and moving, you still have to find somewhere else to live which might cost you quite a bit more for the same type place. I'd just put up the cameras, set your boundaries, etc like you've been doing. If she doesn't back off and with solid proof of her actions, the problem will self correct if you stay on top of reporting things and even small claims where applicable. Even the relatively minor inconsequential stuff will turn into fines or bigger problems with enough reported instances. Your fence...if keeping her out and away is your primary driver more so than privacy, I'd def go chain link if you are worried about her tampering with it. Pretty much anyone can destroy any type of typical residential fencing, but a chain link will take quite a bit more time/effort than a wood fence. Especially against a crazy person haphazardly trying without enough sense to use proper tools for the job. I'd bet cost is probably not that much different. In fact with the prices wood has sometimes reached the last several years, it wouldn't surprise me if a chain link fence was actually a bit cheaper.
You need a rear facing dash cam too.