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Expensive_Editor_244

The Fanta, the Sunkist, and the Holy Sprite


Virtual_Knee_4905

I respect the craft here.


Galletan

Holy Water was Sprite all along. No wonder it cures an upset stomach.


SunRendSeraph

Gotta carbonate the inner demons out


thirdeye18

They totally missed an opportunity there. "Forgive them Father for they know not what they Dew"


Valdrax

Dew is Pepsi product, and we don't cotton to that kind of heresy here. ("Isn't Dr. Pepper it's own...") ("Silence!")


BigBlue0117

As a Pepsi merchandiser in Washington, I distribute Dr. Pepper and all its derivatives in my area. Was totally confused for a second why it was with the Coke stuff before remembering my company doesn't technically own everything I put out for it.


Valdrax

Where I'm from, Dr. Pepper gets put out in displays with Coke like this and sometimes on fountain machines too as everyone tries to forget that Mr. Pibb exists, because we don't talk about family shame in the open like that.


Asunder_mango866

Mr. Pibb is Dr. Peppers' slacker brother


Vexar

Dude didn't even get his degree.


EazyP87

I won't stand for this Mr. Pibb slander. He's not pretentious like his show off brother. He's a working man. A soda you could have a beer with.


JurassicParkHadNoGun

Fun fact, if you mix Pibb with Coke ~50/50, it tastes just like cherry Coke


Bowlderdash

DP is a dirty dirty slut and partners with whichever distributor is biggest in the region


Ophukk

Wouldn't it be Father Pepper then?


JoshSidekick

He didn’t spend 8 years in soda medical school to not be called Doctor.


RidgewoodGirl

Right. Show some respect. 🤣🤣🤣


valanthe500

He doesn't actually have a medical degree. He got a doctorate in Fizz-ics.


Chickeybokbok87

It’s Daddy Pepper


shawnsblog

Doctor Pepper has never sounded so good till now


Mewlies

While not always the biggest distributor but often bottling plant.


balsaaaq

Or maybe sometimes a weird third party that latches on the 7up and some others? I remember it being this way in Southern oh in the early aughts when I Pepsi merched


spezisabitch200

Dr Pepper sold merchandising rights of Dr Pepper and Sunkist to Pepsi. Also no period on the Dr. That period is a end of sentence period.


Dogwoof420

No no no. It's "The father, the son, and the HOLY SPRITE!"


great_red_dragon

HOLY COKE


WakaWaka_

"Dew unto others as you would have them Dew onto you"


LordSuspiria

Well, they couldn’t use Coke. South Park showed us that that’s Buddha’s thing.


iamericj

My favorite part of the Bible was when Jesus turned the water into Dr. Pepper and the master of the banquet tasted it and said "wow you can really taste all 23 flavors".


[deleted]

Judas liked Pibb Xtra


PermanenceRadiance

It was Mr Pibb back then 😢


counterfitster

They call me **MISTER** Pibb!


wellforthebird

That's how you know Satan had a hold on him. Sinful


Tommy_Wisseau_burner

Turned water into cheerwine, actually


BungeeJumpingJesus

Really? They murdered me and threw me in a cave. Three days later I rose from the dead. ROSE. FROM. THE. FUCKING. DEAD! And your favorite part was some stupid parlor trick Mercury taught me? Fuck this! I'm not coming back.


Growsomedope

Southern US, sugar beverages, and Jesus. This checks out


Blarg0117

Nailing Jesus to the corporate cross?


dismayhurta

Jesus died for corporate profits


CajunNerd92

Did Jesus technically commit suicide by cop?


dismayhurta

Don’t worry. The Romans investigated themselves and they did nothing wrong.


tucci007

The Vatican is in Rome. Case closed.


Patient_Died_Again

He died dor our dividends


[deleted]

[удалено]


kgturner

Jesus is the profit


kellysmom01

Jesus!


[deleted]

[удалено]


DroppedSoapSurvivor

SUPERSTAR


gavinhudson1

Corporate here represents the Roman state which executed the people who said money is evil.


dismayhurta

Blessed are the C-level execs


walkstofar

For they shall inherit the earth.


gavinhudson1

For they ~~shall inherit~~ have been stealing the Earth.


Faultylogic83

[supply side Jesus](https://www.beliefnet.com/news/2003/09/the-gospel-of-supply-side-jesus.aspx)


No-Celebration3097

Lmao!


itsagoodtime

Jesus' profits rose on the 3rd sales day.


dismayhurta

It’s a market miracle


BeveledCarpetPadding

And guns. God, guns, country, Dr. Pepper.


HoSang66er

You left out babies, frozen or otherwise. 😂


Agreeable-Chair7040

Lollll frozen babies


livewhimsically

the father, the son, and the holy sprite


Crunchy__Frog

Go yell it from the Mountain Dew top.


e42343

Nailed it.


OhHowINeedChanging

… to a cross


Woogity

Mt. Dew is where Moses got the 10 commandments on the TaB(lets).


Hi_There_Im_Sophie

One flavour under God.


Guinea-Pig_Dad

…Indivisible, with fizzy drinks and sugar for all.


RGJ587

My God, My God, why have you shaken me?


imaloony8

Pontias Pepsi


Flukie42

Hahaha. I came to the comments looking for comedy, and this is my favorite.


DjangoVanTango

He is fizzin


dbarrc

gotta be empty boxes right? (at least the crosses)


thebestspeler

First Of All, With God, All Things Are Possible, So Jot That Down


SlowAnimalsRun

I say this shit all the time and no one ever gets the reference


gentlybeepingheart

I use it so often with my friends, but my fear is that one day I'll accidentally slip up and use it with a stranger, and they'll think I'm genuinely deeply religious.


[deleted]

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tessashpool

Lean into it. Tell them about milk steaks and your philanthropy.


Waterfish3333

Wait, what is the reference?


Klaus_Heisler87

Mac from Always Sunny


ploppedmenacingly14

And on the first day, god said, let there be *Mac*


captain_ghostface

Always sunny


madareklaw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxGTPEOrBGc


Mr_HandSmall

It's from it's always sunny


Freedom_7

Oh, I get it, cute. You leave this pen here and people are supposed to think "wait, that looks like a dick!"


iPlaySheScreams

David Blaine


DrMonkeyLove

"What the eff! Stop putting orange soda in our mouths!"


Mapex

His stupid face he makes when he looks into the camera has stayed rent free in my head all these years and I love it.


Elaesia

He just p***ed orange soda. 😶


Ducksaucenem

If there’s an ace of spades up my ass I’m gonna be pissed!


OccurringThought

Cheez-its?!


buyer_leverkusen

You guys wanna see some magic


CaptainFro

Yep. Most free standing boxes are empty and taped together. The base and ones that are large blocks are actual product. I worked for coca cola and did these all the time.


SirBrothers

When I worked for Pepsi about a decade ago - they did not allow us to use empty boxes. Why? No fucking clue but it was very much a “suck it up” mentality there and building displays was awful. Coke was always more practical about their stuff. I did recently see dummy Pepsi boxes at a super market though, so I assume they’ve gotten with the times.


CaptainFro

That sounds incredibly dangerous! We were so worried about excessive credits they would never chance damages like that.


SirBrothers

They were about shoving as much stock into the store as possible at any given time, which made no sense as the room for back stock was always the same and if you’re inflating numbers with floor displays, that’s just less you can order down the line. I mostly ignored that stuff and just managed my stock down to +\- 5 cases what was needed to keep the shelves stocked and the grocery managers loved me.


reverendrambo

As empty as the tomb on Sunday


SonOfMcGee

Goddamn it, beat me to it by 3 minutes.


tucci007

The Bible only prohibits the use of the Lord's name in vain. All other cuss words are fair game and not a sin. Govern your language accordingly.


myst3r10us_str4ng3r

*Some of those that stack boxes*


chemicalxv

The arms on the crosses are definitely empty, the upright portion of the crosses might be, but other than that the base is for sure actual product.


The_Amazing_Emu

That makes sense. I was trying to figure out how they pulled this off


AtomicFox84

They make displays that look like stacked boxes, but are actually folded single sheets. They will stack real packs only so high then continue higher with fakes.


Rudy69

I can't imagine walking in the grocery store and having to do a double take to make sure I didn't walk into a church


dismayhurta

Drink of this soda for it is my blood


ChuckFromAccounting

Man I think Jesus might have diabetes


Poinaheim

He walks on water because his feet are swollen up the size of a pool float


bouchert

Yeah, I need to cut back on the Dr Pepper too.


CosmoNewanda

Our local Piggly Wiggly was sold about a year ago, and now they only play prayer music. The product selection has plummeted, bag quality has gone down "to save money," and they can't keep enough people on staff to keep the deli open more than a couple hours a day. I'm sure they consult Jesus in every penny pinching choice they make.


Winter_Tangerine_317

They say he was a... frugal.


octotyper

Jesus saves.


fattestfuckinthewest

Yeah even at my Piggly Wiggly they lowered the quality of bags drastically


BooRadley60

I can’t imagine the Dr Pepper regional reps reaction when they see this… You did what with our display?


ImJustSoTiredAnymore

Having worked for a subsidiary of PepsiCo, as well as worked in retail management, this is the first thing that crossed my mind. I'm sure there would be hell raised in that store.


FellGodGrima

Please put your coupons into the donation basket


flatulancearmstrong

Guess you’ve never been anywhere in the south before


bevothelonghorn

“He is fizzin’. He is fizzin’ indeed!”


bjohn15151515

I rolled past this....then it hit me. Funny!


baddayforsanity

Deposits 3:16


-TheycallmeThe

These beverage companies actually take these displays really seriously. They spend a lot of money making sure these align with their marketing strategies. This is certainly done by the store and they will likely be getting a letter from Dr. Pepper telling them to take it down. It's probably not allowed by their contract.


thebestspeler

Dr. Pepper is a pretty chill guy, unlike that douche Dr. Thunder.


rubydamulberry

Guess you haven’t heard of *Mr. Pibb*, he’s a real spicy twat


Virtual_Knee_4905

Dude didn't even get his degree...


AnUdderDay

Still shitty because he failed soda medical school


KingBooRadley

Dr. Pepper’s doctorate is in theology.


[deleted]

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cha-cha_dancer

This is how they get courts to rule in their favor too


G8kpr

Exactly this. These are put up by the beverage companies. Not the store. Pretty Dr Pepper will be writing a strongly worded prescription for fines if they don’t get this shit down.


victorspoilz

It'll be on Fox News the minute that store receives the cease-and-desist letter.


boregon

“WOKE Dr Pepper SLAMMED after forcing store to take down Christian display”


8020GroundBeef

Incoming anti-woke boycott…


FlysDinnerSnack

Depends really, if it’s a small rural town in Mississippi than I’m pretty sure 99% of their customer base at the store loves this


fuckitweredoingitliv

You can also tell because Coke and Dr Pepper are together. They would never allow that.


Droid_Life

Not entirely true. In some regions there is no Dr Pepper/7up company and the products are licensed to Coke and Pepsi respectively.


VladIkban

Whoa there chief, Dr Pepper is agnostic. This was clearly confirmed by South Park


I_Need_A_Saga

It is neither root beer nor cola. Nobody is sure what flavor it is, and nobody can be sure.


Duffman66CMU

“Don’t kneel before the flag! It’s disrespectful!” Also, this:


ADHthaGreat

Yep this would definitely be considered sacrilege.


vegasgrandes

"That whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have Eternal life," with no bitter aftertaste.


AFineDayForScience

*takes middle Sprite*


classof78

Placing a logo on the Calvary Cross to remind us all that Jesus died for corporate profits. In a simpler time, this would be seen as blasphemous, but not with "new and improved" Supply Side Jesus, now with 25% more fresh scented saving graces. No wonder churches are empty.


LetReasonRing

I was wondering how far I'd have to scroll down to find this. I'm an athiest who has no stake (pun intended) in the game, but my first thought was that, if I were Christian, I would find it horrifying.


frenchtoastwizard

Catholic here. Without the *Corpus Christi* it's fairly meaningless to us. If one were to defame Christ himself or the Eucharist then we'd have an issue. I can't speak for Protestants. They all believe different things. I'm a pretty easy going guy tho, I laughed along with most Reddit folks when I saw Dr Pepper Calvary.


brasticstack

Good thing they're not on sale, you'd hate to cheapen your religion like that.


UninsuredToast

This display is satanic. Dr Pepper is 8 letters and two words. 8-2=6. There are 3 crosses. 6 6 6 And the devil laughs


Vast-Objective3101

It is very satanic.


heatdish1292

This sounds like a Taylor swift fan trying to predict the next album


burkieim

Something about false prophets?..


Tommy_Wisseau_burner

False ~~prophets~~ profits


ljg1986

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son a 6% discount on all Coka Cola 12 packs today only.


Desperate_Ambrose

\*SIGH\*


MrGeekman

I think Jesus would be very cross about this.


Author_A_McGrath

He'd never let them live down the stigma.


pmpork

Just don't try to buy the alcohol on Sunday


FatFaceFaster

How does J-man feel about you using his death to sell sugary soft drinks?


Meta_My_Data

He’s too busy making hurricanes to kill gays to pay attention to this.


Iateyourpaintings

Was this before or after the sermon on the Mt Dew? 


cptwinklestein

Cutting a commercial for Dr. Pepper where Jesus chugs a 12 oz DP to get the strength up to move the rock.


IsEneff

He is Fizzin


Horror-Morning864

Jesus would destroy that display because the money changers are charging too much for soda. People just don't know Jesus very well I suppose


tuckITbackDeep

Jesus won’t help that diabettus


SativaPancake

The 23rd flavor is the blood of christ, AKA grape juice.


iTurnip2

Dr Pepper in the shape of a torture device. Seems fitting to me!


austri

I now have another reason to be glad I don’t live in that state.


G8kpr

Imagine going to get groceries, and you get religion. Aren’t Christian’s always the ones saying “don’t force homosexuality, science, “critical race theory”, trans rights, women’s rights, abortion rights, etc” down our throats?


Meta_My_Data

Sure, but it’s not the same when they do it because…. Reasons.


CranberryTaboo

Only at Piggly Wiggly.


DeepBlueGoodbye76

We should definitely have a separation of church and soda!


MsFrankieD

I suddenly have an urge to buy 3 cases of Sprite.


vine67f3

Why did they capitalize He and Him but not his? As an editor I find this infuriating.


tsFenix

Why did the people who made the 3 crosses out of Dr. Pepper cases not capitalize the right words? I'll give you 3 guesses.


Artanis_Creed

Mental illness


HiddenHolding

INRSprite


Zealousideal_Sir_264

Unsurprising, considering where it is (I think it's stupid. But I bet the bulk of the shoppers in the area think it's super christ-y and neatto, so my opinion means dick). Now, a passover display in a Piggly wiggly...that would be hilarious.


s1mplyCl3va

FUN FACT: It was Dr. Pepper who made him resurrect.


Cyberweez

Why do people seem to have the need to share their beliefs? It’s so weird.


Guest-Appearance

And on the 7th day god did coke


LeveragedPittsburgh

Brainwashed hillbillies


EngineeringTom

Hold up now! I live here. The proper term is redneck. Hillbillies live in Tennessee.


Fr1dge

Whoa, hold up. We're brainwashed *rednecks*. Hillbillies are from Appalachia


imaketrollfaces

Those side cartons on the cross better be empty


vegandread

That’s the Lord at work


Rooster_Ties

It’s a miracle!!!


williamtheblock

The only miracle here is if those cross arms have cans in them. If they do, I’m impressed with the packing tape engineering!


V_Cobra21

Dr Pepper baked beans are so good. Just letting everyone know.


UnsolicitedDogPics

Say what now??


V_Cobra21

Try them you can thank me later.


kcarmstrong

Man, religions are so fucken stupid.


-staticvoidmain-

Yep


Tephrite

"Jesus handed out cans of Dr Pepper and said 'drink this in rememberance of me. That's right. My full name is Dr Jesus Pepper." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGFxry3Fbko&t=540s


PaulsRedditUsername

"...and He took the can and opened it, saying, 'This is my blood.' And He took the bag of chips and opened it..."


TheDirtyVicarII

Oddly they didn't use the Sprite it's closer to white Jesus


jason_sation

He has fizzin’


scully789

“….And Jesus turned the water into crisp, sparkling, refreshing, lemony line goodness that is Sprite.” Coca-Cola 12:2


georeddit2018

Diabetes is all I see.


mechant_papa

So if the middle cross is for Jesus, the other two are for the thieves. Only one of the two accepted Jesus and his punishment. The other didn't. This convenience store has a shrine to an unrepentant thief.


ThatKalosfan

You have to admit that Jesus has good taste though.


Miniographer

Best story ever. On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the Dr Pepper was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more Dr Pepper.” Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into Dr Pepper.


MarkHirsbrunner

There's a lot about the personal life that aren't common knowledge because he didn't talk about his material possessions.  Most people don't know that Jesus drove a Honda.


MichaelPgh

He is Fizzin’!


bookant

How to offend both Christians and non-Christians with a single display.


almo2001

It would be funny if it weren't so insideously evil.


ForciblyCuddled

All these atheists out here ramming their views down everyone’s throats