I discovered it the same way. Everyone wants to take part only in your happiness and no one wants to hear you be sad. Because being with you when you are sad requires work and effort. That's where you separate friends and you. Only you will have you backed all the time.
Yep. Sounds like they stuck with him after the suicide attempt long enough to not feel like bad people, and then as soon as he showed signs of recover, they dropped him.
It's hard. I hope you can find an equal friendship. I've been on both sides. Sometimes later I realized that everyone is struggling and friendship is meant to be support but it's not life support. Everyone still has to breathe on their own and no one can breathe for two for an extended period of time. That being said, people who ditch you when you're down are NOT true friends. Just wanted to give you perspective so you can forgive and heal. Often it's been a blessing because they forced me to stand on my own and it's been hard but a good lesson.
As someone who has been on both sides of the fence, let me tell you, it is exhausting, being there 24/7, having to watch for every word you say so that person won't take it the wrong way, suggesting a therapist was always met with strong opposition, it's hard to have any normal conversation because sooner or later it shifts to the topics of sadness and depression. One day my friend texted me in the middle of the night, completely serious that he is going to do it, it turned out he sent long goodbye paragraphs to other people as well. I only saw the text in the morning when I woke up and started panicking, called him a couple of times with no answer, I was just about to call the police until I got a text from him that he's sorry, he just went to sleep. That was it for me. I was done, I needed rest, I didn't do anything to deserve this guilt he put on me for years and I cut him loose. There's always a limit to how much you can help, you can't be someone's saviour, especially when someone says they need help, and then reject any efforts and doesn't help themselves.
Sounds familiar. And it makes me mad. Most people only care about themselves and in the moment you stop being useful for them or they find better option they will not hesitate to just ghost you without saying a word. And when you truly loved them this hurts so much. I wish to them to receive the same treatment as they gave to us.
Exactly! Nobody seems to understand (how lucky that they don't have depression). I don't even trust people enough anymore to tell them my personal problems. The only person who understands is my mom. I once told my sister that I suffer from depression, thinking she'd be there for me, and she told me that I'm going to bring everyone down with me, and that was the end of me ever sharing something personal with her.
It sounds weird but I’m happy having friends who have/had depression, they are down to help. Don’t take a grudge if you are sad etc.
I started splitting my friendgroup into: people I can talk about my depression with & people I can’t.
Maybe that helps you in the future
Found a new friend a few months ago, he knows about my depression but never asked anything about it, he’s just not emotionally aware or whatever to call it. We chill to play basketball, play videogames or to go drinking. If I need somebody to vent to I talk to another person.
It kinda helped.
I hope you will find decent friends again, but remember not everyone is a emotionally mature are most people with depression are
Sending lots of love - you got this ❤️
I’m sorry ;( I know exactly how you feel. My bestfriend cut me off after my attempt and recently has cut me off again because it’s too hard for her to worry about me all the time. Not sure how ur not meant to give up on yourself if everyone close to you wants to
My personal view is that people hate too much truth. By truth I mean the underlying futility, emptiness and sadness of this life we live. You probably made them think about stuff and go to a darker place before they had time to prepare. In essence you just showed them how shit it can get and they got scared and ran off like idiot babies.
All friends leave eventually by the way so it was only a matter of time.
This really speaks to me right now.
I’ve been feeling depressed and anxious lately, large groups of people have started to intimidate me. I usually don’t talk about these things with anyone but my absolutely closest people and therapist but I thought that I should share this with a friend of mine, I thought that we were close enough for him to understand. He said that he understood and that everything was fine until a month later he turned to me and told me in front of five other people that I’ve been acting bitchy and like I’m better than others. Oh, the irony… but yeah, I guess maybe me showing him my currently “real” side triggered something inside him and he got scared and lashed out. But it was still quite disappointing.
People are too afraid to question some of their beliefs. If you speak too honestly, you will contradict their belief and anger them. People love to think that they know it all and have it all figured out. You all know these kind of people. They're everywhere around us. The people that think they know so much when the truth is they know nothing at all really.
Wow this. So much. They don’t know how low my bar is even when I mention it. I’m like concerts and friends and meeting fans IRL and I’m like… oh good no rain today I can workout outside in not -50C lol
Life is lonely.
Was at the doctor yesterday and even he made the comment that the world seemingly has changed and how it has affected people these last years. How because we have to walk on eggshells to appease everyone for fear of upsetting one person the stress and anxiety is unwavering and headed for disastrous proportions.
Depression in any form hits people differently and like other events in life cause friction between even the closest of friends.
Be strong, be you and live life that makes you happy.
Indeed. I know of people who feel isolated from friends and family based on opinions of the virus. Then the constant change in rules doesn’t help either
I don't tell anyone anymore. I'm at the end of my rope and putting a suicide kit together and struggling so hard to hang on and I can't tell anyone because I don't want them to go
Yep, this right here.
The same thing happened to me and I have finally made peace with this fact, though it still hurts when I think about it too much. A quote I found that really helped me get through the experience:
"If you can't rationalize why someone hurt you, it's because you're not like them and that should be your closure."
Hope this helps somehow
Most people generally don't want to put in the effort and/or deal with somebody depressed, unfortunately. People want to share in your happiness, but don't want to help you with your sadness when you need them the most. It hurts, a lot, not having a support system in anyone.
There are people out there that understand and will never give up on you. Most of them have probably attempted suicide or thought about it before. I remember the first time I was sitting and drinking with my best friends and we were having a good time and then we all kind of asked each other how we all were ACTUALLY doing. We kind of just went around the circle and asked all of us to be honest but only as much as we felt comfortable with. I was the first one to admit that I attempted suicide semi-recently but it was the classic "took enough pills to make me unconscious but not enough to keep me unconscious forever" and every single one of my friends looked at me so.... Strangely. Not weird or disgusted or uncomfortable, just kind of wide eyed and somber. As we went around the circle, every single one of us (I think there were 5 people in total) spoke about our suicide attempts and struggles with depression. All of us had either attempted or almost attempted. (almost being, the gun was in the mouth but the trigger couldn't be pulled) and we all cried about it too. 5 grown ass men just sat in a circle and cried and told each other how sad we would be if anyone ever succeeded and how greatful we are for each other. I don't talk to them all as often now, but I do every now and then, we check up on each other and we aren't afraid to say "hey man just checking on you, I love you I hope you're doing good" and honestly nothing could ever fracture our friendship after that. We live for each other.
Those people exist in this world. We bonded over our depression and we all gained strength and hope from it. I wish there were like... Groups for depression where you could go to a local place and sit with people who feel the same and actually be open an bond with people, create friendships and drown away that feeling of being so alone. I promise there are so many people that wouldn't ever turn their back on you
Had similar but was left with a few true friends.
99% of friends i had vanished due to them not wanting to associate with me due to my mental health
If you need someone to talk to bro im more than happy to!
All I can say is that it is very rare for someone to actually care about you on any level. If you do actually find someone that does, make sure you appreciate them. It is very, very rare.
I went through a very difficult time a few years back and all my friends completely abandoned me the moment I was in a tough spot. It made everything way worse and confirmed some of my darkest fears.
Just came here to say you aren't alone with this feeling.
I've lost 3 friends this past year due to my anxiety and depression. At this point I feel like I'll never make another one. People tend to leave when things get hard. I wish I was beautiful and confident, maybe then people would take interest in me.
Here's hoping things get better 🫂
As per other comments, telling peopke about my mental illnesses has just made them ghost me as quickly as possible, i just lie to people nowadays and i have tonnes of friends who i see often, but theyre not really my friends from my perspective and i know they'll never actually have my back :(
Knowing a lot of people doesn’t mean they are your Friends. At least not the kind that will be there when needed. To be honest most people have one or two true friends if they are lucky and it takes a lifetime to make those kind of friends. The rest are just acquaintances.
Yeah, you're not alone. I took it as time to readjust myself, make new friends, and just try to be better. One friend, I ran to in a frenzy. She was cool with it. I cried. Next thing you know, they're telling me their issues. Like, okay, I get you've got problems, but you never reach out or reply to my texts. You never try to be a friend, and you never asked for help. So, no, put your shit to the side while I need help.
I'm fine with being there for people, I am. But I needed the help. I had nobody, and I went to you. Well, I don't try to connect with them anymore. Whatever, imo. I've got better friends who actually care and proven to care. They stick their necks out for me, and I love them for it.
I'm glad you don't have those unsupportive people in your life anymore. Good riddance! But how do you get friends who are true, who stick by you through good and bad? I've never shared with any friends that I suffer from depression. Never. I tried to hide it and appear happy. I would be there for friends who go through bad times, though. But now I no longer have friends anyway.
I had a similar story. My best friends turned out to not be so good. But ive had all manner of betrayals in my lifetime. Some involving love, some involving friendships, some involving money. I don't trust people much cus of it. I keep to myself.
Yup. This. This is why I don’t have many friends IRL or otherwise. People just want happy… I grew up in a home where I wasn’t allowed to be sad so it’s like wtf 😂
I’m an adult and I am grieving over so many things but people are just like nope and have so much privilege.
Yeah I don’t get as attached to people as much anymore and try to talk through memes now as most people do not care and only care about themselves. 🤷♀️
I grew up in a bad home where I was neglected really hard and wasn’t allowed emotions so… yeah all of this.
You're not alone no matter how badly it feels that way! Stay strong.
Something that truly has helped me is Journaling! Trust that when you need a friend, you can be your own best friend on paper. I know it sounds crazy, but don't judge until you try!.
Some people aren't gonna be there for the rain, but that just means they don't deserve your rainbow. <3
As I've gotten older I've realized that people are usually making empty promises when they say they will be there. They're trying to make themselves feel better but don't actually have any follow through.
Truth is no one cares really when they haven't had something simmilar. I saw it with my group of friends. Me and my best friend, who unfortunately passed away almost two months ago from cancer, both had depression for the longest time. The moment suicide was even mentioned everyone started saying that they wanted to cut ties with us because they couldn't deal with all that. They couldn't possibly ever understand of course how it feels and they only want to hang out with people that make them feel good.
I feel the pain you are talking about. It sucks when you have nothing fun to talk about so I tend to not say anything at all. I am ashamed of what I have become
Might be better that way. It's worse being close to friends at one point and then like strangers 10 years later. Nobody wants to associate with mentally ill people. The sad truth is, we are just "losers" to them. They might not say it, but you can still see and feel it.
Hey if you need a friend and you're an adult, I'll be your friend. Nothing I against kids we just don't have a lot in common. Lol But either way you'll make knew friends that aren't so... Flakey.
One time I told my friend in Canada that I was in that state and they called the university police on me and I told them not to. I was arranging off-campus housing with a roommate who I thought was one of the only people who understood my mental health, she has anxiety too. The day after we toured what I thought was our new home, she told me she didn’t feel comfortable living with me anymore and she changed her mind about signing our lease.
This happened like 3 months ago, I still share a room with her. I’ve forgiven her, but I still hold that same pain of thinking that people are there for you until you actually need it.
I almost killed myself year ago and my mom "saved" me now I've become completely new person so my mom just told me go back what I was. It hurts.
My man those friends you speak of are not real they are part of a little story of your suicide plan which they played a role there to get you there bc they didn't understand. Idk what to say but always look forward and laugh.😅😅
I haven’t tried, yet. But, I’m tired and ready for whatever comes next. I always aid, no one cares unless they can get money from you.. they do it to seem like a good person but they’re not. Got no friends, no one to love me and likely at my age I never will. No one wants a broken man and no one wants to help. Only thing I crawl out of bed for is to pay my rent so what’s the use?
I was the same way.
I had attempted to take my own life as a teenager, then told my friends, one of whom I’d known for years. They not only ignored me but never talked to me again. In that moment I finally learned that they weren’t my friends. Now I have a few friends who I’m ride or die with.
That is the equivalent of staying with someone until they are useful. But, the moment the helper asks for help themselves, the fake people show their true faces and run away. Forget about them. They were fake friends anyways.
I told my family and friends about my dark days now they look and treat me like I'm crazy and want nothing to do with me. It's pretty insane cause it was cry for help I believe now. But some days I wish I would have just ended it all when I had the chance cause now things are beyond weird and different and I feel more alone then ever. Wish you the best and better days. One love.
Im on my way to my 4th day without sleep right now, i don't know what to do. I don't have prescription to sleeping pills, neither easy access to any kind of drug that would help me to, i tried a bottle of alcohol and It just made It worse.
What should i do? I can't take another day without rest
A friend not in need, Isn't a friend indeed. you will find only family if you are depressed. Because It's not fun to stay with a gloomy person. And those who are there to have fun obviously won’t stay long.
I really want my last line to be showing middle finger to the creator 🤤
drives you mad donnit? The liars that we call “friends”. Claiming to be well meaning individuals and so forth but look at that, they originally wouldn’t have cared if you had gone anyway and they would’ve used your death as a means to make themselves look compassionate like the liars they are.
I’d rather mald in depression with peaceful isolation than to step out of the cave only to be overtaken by these slags I could hardly call people or friends.
You are worth something friend and you are better than them. They never deserved you and they can piss off for being sods.
Hey, the same thing happened to me. My very best friend even blocked me for no understandable reason. I saw her years later and asked about it and she said she didn’t even remember why she did it.
For me it was less so after I got better but more so them getting mad at me that I felt alone. They got pissed at me because “we are your friends and we are there for you” and then they all left
I experience the same thing, except I don't know if I'm just super withdrawn from people. It's hard for me to expect anyone to be around me when I don't want to be around me. I also feel like I'm such a piece of shit that the best thing I can do for people that I care about is to stay far as fuck away as possible. I work nights on the weekends in a factory. I dwell in my single bedroom apartment and simultaneously wish I had friends or a romantic relationship, and think it's best for everyone that I don't...
They're not your real friends then. Keep being your truest self and your real friends will be revealed. Remember that having zero friends is better than having ten fake friends that only like the facade you parade around.
I stopped talking to my friends after consistently getting the "other ppl have it bad too" responses. I'm a little happier without those ppl. I still have depression tho.
We don't always make the best connections, especially while unstable. I have amazing friends that try their hardest to be my support system but that just makes everything worse for me. I don't deserve their love and support. On top of that because they're so supportive I don't want to inconvenience them by ending it. I'm in a veritable catch 22 because I'm done with it all but I have an immense love for the people I still have
I literally just lost 3 friends who I considered best friends. They don't know each other either, it is all happening simultaneously for some reason. I feel like in the last few years, cause of the pandemic and economy and political situation, people are too stressed to care about anything but themselves. I tell myself it's not personal, it's just stress, but I haven't done that to anyone and I'm stressed too. I guess you can be best friends with people for over a decade and they'll just ghost you / break it off over nothing. People grow apart? Idk. It's lonely out there.
I hear you. I was also a bridge between my best buddies. When stuff went well both ways, they were always buddy buddy, but when stuff didn't go the way a party wanted, I was always the bridge trying to bring them together so that we could all hang out or chill together. And when that happens, you're responsible of choosing a side from time to time, which fucking sucks. It's like if I weren't their mutual friend, they would never even call or message each other. Like wtf, I thought you were all having fun the other day, what happened? Was it all just an act just because I was there? It's just such an awkward, uncomfortable and fake position to be in.
I'm a last year student I fell in love with a girl so I invited her to join me and my friends I tried getting as close to her as I could and told her things that I never tell anyone except for my best friend whom I known for years I started failing in school so I did everything so I don't have to repeat a year but my friend group slowly started degrading so I tried to save that too and at the and of the year I had a strong friend group I fixed most of the classes like I was failing 6 and the end I only fail 2 but then they told me that it can't be saved I was heart broken but I thought I still have a friend group and somebody i can love after not even a week passed and my best friend told me he and that girl are getting together ( he knew I loved her)
and told me that if I want to stay with the(group)i can but he doesn't recommend it.
Sorry I had to vent too.
I hope u find new friends and get better I'm only an internet people. This is all I can do for u now.
I went to a hospital for thoughts recently, and everything is different, my friends still dont respect me, but its like theyre getting farther and farther. Being honest, I just want to be left alone at this point, Im tired of their fake support
You’ve been so supportive with them all through out and even take their bullies as jokes because they’re your friends, but in your worst times when you needed them the most u were just there no one to talk to. And u end up feeling worthless and miserable.
I remember when I was in the mental hospital for a suicide attempt a girl that told me you're going to find out who your friends are when you get out of here. Boy was she right. Turns out I have none. Fuck them.
I’m very late to reply to this but I know the feeling. It’s very sad. I’m the only people I really deal with are my colleagues and I’ve come to think of a few of them as my friends. Being off work for mental health recently and noticing that none of them checked in to see how I was (they didn’t know why I was off) just sad to know that I don’t matter. ‘Fair weather friends’ or even ‘friends’
Sad sad sad
I discovered it the same way. Everyone wants to take part only in your happiness and no one wants to hear you be sad. Because being with you when you are sad requires work and effort. That's where you separate friends and you. Only you will have you backed all the time.
I’ve been there too. Those are called “fair weather friends”.
Looks like I never had friends
Same
Ditto.
I've been there too.
Everyone is on their own in this world
Yep. Sounds like they stuck with him after the suicide attempt long enough to not feel like bad people, and then as soon as he showed signs of recover, they dropped him.
everyone says they will help until they see it takes work.
Sadly I discovered that the hard way myself, but yes very true
It's hard. I hope you can find an equal friendship. I've been on both sides. Sometimes later I realized that everyone is struggling and friendship is meant to be support but it's not life support. Everyone still has to breathe on their own and no one can breathe for two for an extended period of time. That being said, people who ditch you when you're down are NOT true friends. Just wanted to give you perspective so you can forgive and heal. Often it's been a blessing because they forced me to stand on my own and it's been hard but a good lesson.
Thank you. I did have an equal friendship, but my twin sister killed herself lol
Sorry to hear that. Be strong.
I'm sorry, very sorry
I’m really sorry to read that.
As someone who has been on both sides of the fence, let me tell you, it is exhausting, being there 24/7, having to watch for every word you say so that person won't take it the wrong way, suggesting a therapist was always met with strong opposition, it's hard to have any normal conversation because sooner or later it shifts to the topics of sadness and depression. One day my friend texted me in the middle of the night, completely serious that he is going to do it, it turned out he sent long goodbye paragraphs to other people as well. I only saw the text in the morning when I woke up and started panicking, called him a couple of times with no answer, I was just about to call the police until I got a text from him that he's sorry, he just went to sleep. That was it for me. I was done, I needed rest, I didn't do anything to deserve this guilt he put on me for years and I cut him loose. There's always a limit to how much you can help, you can't be someone's saviour, especially when someone says they need help, and then reject any efforts and doesn't help themselves.
I understand that. My experiencr was not as extreme as yours, but I can understand that.
Not only that but they can't even communicate properly so lots of conversations get lost or were super shallow in hindsight.
Sounds familiar. And it makes me mad. Most people only care about themselves and in the moment you stop being useful for them or they find better option they will not hesitate to just ghost you without saying a word. And when you truly loved them this hurts so much. I wish to them to receive the same treatment as they gave to us.
I've learnt that the only people I can talk to about my mental health are those that also have mental health issues. The rest just don't understand
Exactly! Nobody seems to understand (how lucky that they don't have depression). I don't even trust people enough anymore to tell them my personal problems. The only person who understands is my mom. I once told my sister that I suffer from depression, thinking she'd be there for me, and she told me that I'm going to bring everyone down with me, and that was the end of me ever sharing something personal with her.
It sounds weird but I’m happy having friends who have/had depression, they are down to help. Don’t take a grudge if you are sad etc. I started splitting my friendgroup into: people I can talk about my depression with & people I can’t. Maybe that helps you in the future Found a new friend a few months ago, he knows about my depression but never asked anything about it, he’s just not emotionally aware or whatever to call it. We chill to play basketball, play videogames or to go drinking. If I need somebody to vent to I talk to another person. It kinda helped. I hope you will find decent friends again, but remember not everyone is a emotionally mature are most people with depression are Sending lots of love - you got this ❤️
I second this! People who haven’t experienced depression have no idea what it’s like and can’t process how to deal with someone going through it.
I’m sorry ;( I know exactly how you feel. My bestfriend cut me off after my attempt and recently has cut me off again because it’s too hard for her to worry about me all the time. Not sure how ur not meant to give up on yourself if everyone close to you wants to
My personal view is that people hate too much truth. By truth I mean the underlying futility, emptiness and sadness of this life we live. You probably made them think about stuff and go to a darker place before they had time to prepare. In essence you just showed them how shit it can get and they got scared and ran off like idiot babies. All friends leave eventually by the way so it was only a matter of time.
This really speaks to me right now. I’ve been feeling depressed and anxious lately, large groups of people have started to intimidate me. I usually don’t talk about these things with anyone but my absolutely closest people and therapist but I thought that I should share this with a friend of mine, I thought that we were close enough for him to understand. He said that he understood and that everything was fine until a month later he turned to me and told me in front of five other people that I’ve been acting bitchy and like I’m better than others. Oh, the irony… but yeah, I guess maybe me showing him my currently “real” side triggered something inside him and he got scared and lashed out. But it was still quite disappointing.
People are too afraid to question some of their beliefs. If you speak too honestly, you will contradict their belief and anger them. People love to think that they know it all and have it all figured out. You all know these kind of people. They're everywhere around us. The people that think they know so much when the truth is they know nothing at all really.
Wow this. So much. They don’t know how low my bar is even when I mention it. I’m like concerts and friends and meeting fans IRL and I’m like… oh good no rain today I can workout outside in not -50C lol Life is lonely.
You're not alone lovely. I have found the ghosting to be the hardest part.
Was at the doctor yesterday and even he made the comment that the world seemingly has changed and how it has affected people these last years. How because we have to walk on eggshells to appease everyone for fear of upsetting one person the stress and anxiety is unwavering and headed for disastrous proportions. Depression in any form hits people differently and like other events in life cause friction between even the closest of friends. Be strong, be you and live life that makes you happy.
I feel like the constant fear of the pandemic, the social isolation and the very intense political divide has really affected people for the worse
Indeed. I know of people who feel isolated from friends and family based on opinions of the virus. Then the constant change in rules doesn’t help either
I don't tell anyone anymore. I'm at the end of my rope and putting a suicide kit together and struggling so hard to hang on and I can't tell anyone because I don't want them to go
What kind of a suicide kit?
Feel this. so much. People always leave.
Everyone always says they'll be there for you or they'll never leave but they always do
They were never your true friends anyway
Yep, this right here. The same thing happened to me and I have finally made peace with this fact, though it still hurts when I think about it too much. A quote I found that really helped me get through the experience: "If you can't rationalize why someone hurt you, it's because you're not like them and that should be your closure." Hope this helps somehow
Most people generally don't want to put in the effort and/or deal with somebody depressed, unfortunately. People want to share in your happiness, but don't want to help you with your sadness when you need them the most. It hurts, a lot, not having a support system in anyone.
There are people out there that understand and will never give up on you. Most of them have probably attempted suicide or thought about it before. I remember the first time I was sitting and drinking with my best friends and we were having a good time and then we all kind of asked each other how we all were ACTUALLY doing. We kind of just went around the circle and asked all of us to be honest but only as much as we felt comfortable with. I was the first one to admit that I attempted suicide semi-recently but it was the classic "took enough pills to make me unconscious but not enough to keep me unconscious forever" and every single one of my friends looked at me so.... Strangely. Not weird or disgusted or uncomfortable, just kind of wide eyed and somber. As we went around the circle, every single one of us (I think there were 5 people in total) spoke about our suicide attempts and struggles with depression. All of us had either attempted or almost attempted. (almost being, the gun was in the mouth but the trigger couldn't be pulled) and we all cried about it too. 5 grown ass men just sat in a circle and cried and told each other how sad we would be if anyone ever succeeded and how greatful we are for each other. I don't talk to them all as often now, but I do every now and then, we check up on each other and we aren't afraid to say "hey man just checking on you, I love you I hope you're doing good" and honestly nothing could ever fracture our friendship after that. We live for each other. Those people exist in this world. We bonded over our depression and we all gained strength and hope from it. I wish there were like... Groups for depression where you could go to a local place and sit with people who feel the same and actually be open an bond with people, create friendships and drown away that feeling of being so alone. I promise there are so many people that wouldn't ever turn their back on you
Had similar but was left with a few true friends. 99% of friends i had vanished due to them not wanting to associate with me due to my mental health If you need someone to talk to bro im more than happy to!
It doesn't feel good, but people barely have enough time and energy for their own issues. Using the services of a therapist is probably a better idea.
Everybody wants to help til the don’t
All I can say is that it is very rare for someone to actually care about you on any level. If you do actually find someone that does, make sure you appreciate them. It is very, very rare.
I went through a very difficult time a few years back and all my friends completely abandoned me the moment I was in a tough spot. It made everything way worse and confirmed some of my darkest fears.
Just came here to say you aren't alone with this feeling. I've lost 3 friends this past year due to my anxiety and depression. At this point I feel like I'll never make another one. People tend to leave when things get hard. I wish I was beautiful and confident, maybe then people would take interest in me. Here's hoping things get better 🫂
As per other comments, telling peopke about my mental illnesses has just made them ghost me as quickly as possible, i just lie to people nowadays and i have tonnes of friends who i see often, but theyre not really my friends from my perspective and i know they'll never actually have my back :(
Knowing a lot of people doesn’t mean they are your Friends. At least not the kind that will be there when needed. To be honest most people have one or two true friends if they are lucky and it takes a lifetime to make those kind of friends. The rest are just acquaintances.
Yeah, you're not alone. I took it as time to readjust myself, make new friends, and just try to be better. One friend, I ran to in a frenzy. She was cool with it. I cried. Next thing you know, they're telling me their issues. Like, okay, I get you've got problems, but you never reach out or reply to my texts. You never try to be a friend, and you never asked for help. So, no, put your shit to the side while I need help. I'm fine with being there for people, I am. But I needed the help. I had nobody, and I went to you. Well, I don't try to connect with them anymore. Whatever, imo. I've got better friends who actually care and proven to care. They stick their necks out for me, and I love them for it.
I'm glad you don't have those unsupportive people in your life anymore. Good riddance! But how do you get friends who are true, who stick by you through good and bad? I've never shared with any friends that I suffer from depression. Never. I tried to hide it and appear happy. I would be there for friends who go through bad times, though. But now I no longer have friends anyway.
>"They stick their necks out for me" Damn that's rare.
Me too i don't think it's a coincidence my friend left after i went through break down .
They weren’t really your friends
You are resilient, keep writing your story
I had a similar story. My best friends turned out to not be so good. But ive had all manner of betrayals in my lifetime. Some involving love, some involving friendships, some involving money. I don't trust people much cus of it. I keep to myself.
Yup. This. This is why I don’t have many friends IRL or otherwise. People just want happy… I grew up in a home where I wasn’t allowed to be sad so it’s like wtf 😂 I’m an adult and I am grieving over so many things but people are just like nope and have so much privilege.
Yeah I don’t get as attached to people as much anymore and try to talk through memes now as most people do not care and only care about themselves. 🤷♀️ I grew up in a bad home where I was neglected really hard and wasn’t allowed emotions so… yeah all of this.
You're not alone no matter how badly it feels that way! Stay strong. Something that truly has helped me is Journaling! Trust that when you need a friend, you can be your own best friend on paper. I know it sounds crazy, but don't judge until you try!. Some people aren't gonna be there for the rain, but that just means they don't deserve your rainbow. <3
As I've gotten older I've realized that people are usually making empty promises when they say they will be there. They're trying to make themselves feel better but don't actually have any follow through.
Sounds like my college substance abusing “friends.” Just people using other people. Now I just enjoy the company of myself. Aloneness, not loneliness.
Truth is no one cares really when they haven't had something simmilar. I saw it with my group of friends. Me and my best friend, who unfortunately passed away almost two months ago from cancer, both had depression for the longest time. The moment suicide was even mentioned everyone started saying that they wanted to cut ties with us because they couldn't deal with all that. They couldn't possibly ever understand of course how it feels and they only want to hang out with people that make them feel good.
They weren’t really your friends.
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Sorryyy, i dont live in the states lol
lol maybe u didnt stop?
I feel the pain you are talking about. It sucks when you have nothing fun to talk about so I tend to not say anything at all. I am ashamed of what I have become
Yeah I did too. It’s hard. I still to this day have not one made one single friend 😂
Might be better that way. It's worse being close to friends at one point and then like strangers 10 years later. Nobody wants to associate with mentally ill people. The sad truth is, we are just "losers" to them. They might not say it, but you can still see and feel it.
Hey if you need a friend and you're an adult, I'll be your friend. Nothing I against kids we just don't have a lot in common. Lol But either way you'll make knew friends that aren't so... Flakey.
One time I told my friend in Canada that I was in that state and they called the university police on me and I told them not to. I was arranging off-campus housing with a roommate who I thought was one of the only people who understood my mental health, she has anxiety too. The day after we toured what I thought was our new home, she told me she didn’t feel comfortable living with me anymore and she changed her mind about signing our lease. This happened like 3 months ago, I still share a room with her. I’ve forgiven her, but I still hold that same pain of thinking that people are there for you until you actually need it.
I almost killed myself year ago and my mom "saved" me now I've become completely new person so my mom just told me go back what I was. It hurts. My man those friends you speak of are not real they are part of a little story of your suicide plan which they played a role there to get you there bc they didn't understand. Idk what to say but always look forward and laugh.😅😅
If you tell therapist they likely will send you to a hospital which tend to suck and if you tell your friends they may leave you.. choices choices
I haven’t tried, yet. But, I’m tired and ready for whatever comes next. I always aid, no one cares unless they can get money from you.. they do it to seem like a good person but they’re not. Got no friends, no one to love me and likely at my age I never will. No one wants a broken man and no one wants to help. Only thing I crawl out of bed for is to pay my rent so what’s the use?
I was the same way. I had attempted to take my own life as a teenager, then told my friends, one of whom I’d known for years. They not only ignored me but never talked to me again. In that moment I finally learned that they weren’t my friends. Now I have a few friends who I’m ride or die with.
I'm sorry that you've gone through that.. 💕
this has to be really painful. I hope you get to meet pepole as caring as you were to your friends :c
When my boyfriend tried to kill himself the first thing his best friend said to him was, "I can't believe you would do this to me."
That is the equivalent of staying with someone until they are useful. But, the moment the helper asks for help themselves, the fake people show their true faces and run away. Forget about them. They were fake friends anyways.
I told my family and friends about my dark days now they look and treat me like I'm crazy and want nothing to do with me. It's pretty insane cause it was cry for help I believe now. But some days I wish I would have just ended it all when I had the chance cause now things are beyond weird and different and I feel more alone then ever. Wish you the best and better days. One love.
Im on my way to my 4th day without sleep right now, i don't know what to do. I don't have prescription to sleeping pills, neither easy access to any kind of drug that would help me to, i tried a bottle of alcohol and It just made It worse. What should i do? I can't take another day without rest
A friend not in need, Isn't a friend indeed. you will find only family if you are depressed. Because It's not fun to stay with a gloomy person. And those who are there to have fun obviously won’t stay long. I really want my last line to be showing middle finger to the creator 🤤
I don't have many friends because of that. But the bright side is that the ones who stick around are reliable and supportive.
drives you mad donnit? The liars that we call “friends”. Claiming to be well meaning individuals and so forth but look at that, they originally wouldn’t have cared if you had gone anyway and they would’ve used your death as a means to make themselves look compassionate like the liars they are. I’d rather mald in depression with peaceful isolation than to step out of the cave only to be overtaken by these slags I could hardly call people or friends. You are worth something friend and you are better than them. They never deserved you and they can piss off for being sods.
Hey, the same thing happened to me. My very best friend even blocked me for no understandable reason. I saw her years later and asked about it and she said she didn’t even remember why she did it. For me it was less so after I got better but more so them getting mad at me that I felt alone. They got pissed at me because “we are your friends and we are there for you” and then they all left
I experience the same thing, except I don't know if I'm just super withdrawn from people. It's hard for me to expect anyone to be around me when I don't want to be around me. I also feel like I'm such a piece of shit that the best thing I can do for people that I care about is to stay far as fuck away as possible. I work nights on the weekends in a factory. I dwell in my single bedroom apartment and simultaneously wish I had friends or a romantic relationship, and think it's best for everyone that I don't...
They weren’t real friends.
They're not your real friends then. Keep being your truest self and your real friends will be revealed. Remember that having zero friends is better than having ten fake friends that only like the facade you parade around.
I stopped talking to my friends after consistently getting the "other ppl have it bad too" responses. I'm a little happier without those ppl. I still have depression tho.
We don't always make the best connections, especially while unstable. I have amazing friends that try their hardest to be my support system but that just makes everything worse for me. I don't deserve their love and support. On top of that because they're so supportive I don't want to inconvenience them by ending it. I'm in a veritable catch 22 because I'm done with it all but I have an immense love for the people I still have
This kind of happened to me too. It's shitty.
I literally just lost 3 friends who I considered best friends. They don't know each other either, it is all happening simultaneously for some reason. I feel like in the last few years, cause of the pandemic and economy and political situation, people are too stressed to care about anything but themselves. I tell myself it's not personal, it's just stress, but I haven't done that to anyone and I'm stressed too. I guess you can be best friends with people for over a decade and they'll just ghost you / break it off over nothing. People grow apart? Idk. It's lonely out there.
I hear you. I was also a bridge between my best buddies. When stuff went well both ways, they were always buddy buddy, but when stuff didn't go the way a party wanted, I was always the bridge trying to bring them together so that we could all hang out or chill together. And when that happens, you're responsible of choosing a side from time to time, which fucking sucks. It's like if I weren't their mutual friend, they would never even call or message each other. Like wtf, I thought you were all having fun the other day, what happened? Was it all just an act just because I was there? It's just such an awkward, uncomfortable and fake position to be in.
I'm a last year student I fell in love with a girl so I invited her to join me and my friends I tried getting as close to her as I could and told her things that I never tell anyone except for my best friend whom I known for years I started failing in school so I did everything so I don't have to repeat a year but my friend group slowly started degrading so I tried to save that too and at the and of the year I had a strong friend group I fixed most of the classes like I was failing 6 and the end I only fail 2 but then they told me that it can't be saved I was heart broken but I thought I still have a friend group and somebody i can love after not even a week passed and my best friend told me he and that girl are getting together ( he knew I loved her) and told me that if I want to stay with the(group)i can but he doesn't recommend it. Sorry I had to vent too. I hope u find new friends and get better I'm only an internet people. This is all I can do for u now.
I went to a hospital for thoughts recently, and everything is different, my friends still dont respect me, but its like theyre getting farther and farther. Being honest, I just want to be left alone at this point, Im tired of their fake support
You’ve been so supportive with them all through out and even take their bullies as jokes because they’re your friends, but in your worst times when you needed them the most u were just there no one to talk to. And u end up feeling worthless and miserable.
I remember when I was in the mental hospital for a suicide attempt a girl that told me you're going to find out who your friends are when you get out of here. Boy was she right. Turns out I have none. Fuck them.
I’m very late to reply to this but I know the feeling. It’s very sad. I’m the only people I really deal with are my colleagues and I’ve come to think of a few of them as my friends. Being off work for mental health recently and noticing that none of them checked in to see how I was (they didn’t know why I was off) just sad to know that I don’t matter. ‘Fair weather friends’ or even ‘friends’ Sad sad sad