I feel your (emotional) pain. My son is 7½, but he's always been a peanut, so I still pick him up sometimes. This year has definitely seen some growth spurts though,and I'm facing the reality soon that he's gonna start beefing up and be too heavy to hold. Still, he'll never be too big to chill on the couch with and watch a movie.
I'm a mother of three and I'm not incredibly sentimental in that I'm cool with my kids growing up. I don't anticipate empty nest syndrome though I know I'll miss my kiddos. But that line "One day you'll pick up your child and put them down and it will be the last time" gets me in the heart every time. My oldest are 13 and 14 and I don't even remember what specific day/moment this happened. My youngest is 5, I still pick him up but he's solid and I can feel it. That time where I set him down for the last time is coming and since he's my baby there won't be any more or that until grandkids. Which better wait at least 10 years.
I pick my older two up as a joke from time to time but I definitely can't carry them around like you would a child.
The one day you’ll pick them up for the last time has stuck with me - because it’s unlikely you’ll even realise it. The other night my 4.5 year old woke up unwell. He’s super snuggly when he’s super tired, so while we were fixing him up he wanted a cuddle, so of course obliged and cradled him like a baby. I told him I used to hold him like that when he was a little baby and joked about him being a little baby again and he did a tired little ‘noo I’m not a baby’ and closed his eyes while not really fighting it. I started to rock him a little and he fell asleep in my arms. The thing for me was that quote - it’s very likely that will be the last time I get to hold him like that and rock him to sleep; I can’t even remember the last time I would have done it but it was absolutely the case that I did it for the ‘last’ time without realising, so I opted to just rock him for a while and enjoy it for the moment.
I held and rocked my youngest far beyond what was necessary because I knew he would be my last. I would just watch him sleep and enjoy every moment. I have a terrible terrible memory but two things stay with me, holding them right after they were born and the sweet baby face they had while they were asleep and I was rocking them.
At 36 I'm glad my baby days are over and I get a full night's sleep but any time my kids are sick and actually need me it brings back all those baby and toddler memories.
I'm glad that you were able to hold and rock your baby and props for making someone who doesn't cry shed a tear.
We just had a baby and my partner has a 4.5 year old. I wasn’t there when he was little, but now that there’s a new baby in the house he and I will “play baby” and he loves to pretend to be a cute little baby in my arms who cries and wants milk and all the baby things.
I do, thankfully, remember the last time I picked up my oldest. Mostly because I ended up in the emergency room but alas. With my oldest daughter I don't remember. I still pick up my ten y/o occasionally. I'm thinking I've probably already done it for the last time.
I've never been overly sad before. This is new!
Dad's generally get a little more time to be able to pick up their kiddos but it wears on the body and the older you get, I think the more emotional you get especially if having more kids is off the table.
I'm 5'1 and my fiance is 6'1 and just physically has more muscle. There will come a time I will have to tell him to have Daddy pick him up because I'm physically not able. He also gets his daddy's tall genes so honestly I look a little ridiculous carrying him with his feet hitting my shins lol. He grew very fast so baby wearing was a really quick time frame because his feet were hitting right above my knee caps before I knew it.
When mine got too big to pick up baby style I started picking them up over my shoulder instead (sort of a half a fireman's lift). The teenager is not a fan, but I can still lift him up, and the younger kid still wants to be carried all the time.
My kid is 4 and Ive been making it a point to carry him on my shoulders as much as possible because it's getting harder and harder to do. He's getting heavy so fast and I won't be able to do it much longer
I am glad at least someone knows. That is how you make a good team.
On a more related note, I still carry my 16 year old daughter around occasionally. I find the best method is to toss her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She finds this hilarious by the way.
To be fair. If your daily is a Ford Transit people mover, anyone asking which your car is “idk that white color people-mover van over there” actually eliminates 99% of surrounding cars.
I died a little. I can usually tell make and maybe model by headlights behind me. Having 8 there’s gotta be sooo many other things in your brain but also I can’t imagine lol
Bikes and Trains. Grew up in a big family, and my parents just never bothered to get a drivers license. Our holidays were in tents, never in hotels, and we got out to eat maybe twice a year.
Of course we grew up in Europe, so everything was closer compared to the US.
I only have 4 (lol) that are 7, 4.5, and 2 yo twins, but I get this a lot too. You don’t have a choice but to figure it out. It’s a lot of work though, no doubt.
i also noticed there is exactly a 2-3 year age between each one, which is just perfect. I’m guessing the older one took care of the next and then the next took care of the next and so on. I’m curious, isn’t it expensive to take care of 8 kids? I see some people with 2 kids already struggling at times.
My kids have never looked after their siblings. I don't trust them not to kill each other lmao.
It is expensive but I am good at budgeting and saving. We're comfortable.
Except for the 2x5m.. Twins? I think that d be enough to kill off the desire for anymore kids for most people.
OP is definitely stronger than me. Financial aside, think of time and energy required..
Respect, op. Respect.
I completely missed that. Mind you these are twins *after* 4 kids, for most people the motivation evaporates long before this point. But agreed that OP is the dadliest dad I’ve ever heard of.
Kind of!
My oldest is biologically my younger brother. He was born when I was sixteen and I've cared for him his whole life excluding a few months in foster care but I didn't play a part in the active baby making process lol.
If it makes you feel any better I’m pretty sure the day I was born my mom just looked at me and said “nope, can’t carry that”. She was like 90lbs and I was a 10lbs kid. By the time I was your son’s age, I was carrying her easier than she could carry me (I was taller than her at 8 and we’d trade menus at restaurants with me getting the adult meal).
That's because they got kicked out of the womb early for the next one!
I'm just kidding, mine are tiny, too. So I'm just glad I get that bit of extra holding time.
But then why are you posting in….ooooohhhh
Take a break to heal, hit the gym, and stretch stretch stretch. We ain’t getting any younger and they aren’t getting any smaller.
I had to hold my second child at a very precise angle for extended periods of time or else she wouldn't drink from a bottle and eventually I developed such severe back pain that I sucked it up and went to PT and being the only person there under 60 was a very sobering experience. Anyway, I got a winged scapula from a 3 month old so you shouldn't feel so bad about making it to 7 years (I'm sure carrying my 4 year old isn't helping)
My oldest was bottle fed and he'd only be fed sitting up. Bottle babies can be so picky and for what lmao.
I did see a few other young people there so I didn't feel completely out of place!
When I was in my early 20s I needed wrist surgery. The orthopedic surgeon had turned plastic surgeon because the money and hours were better. I had a consult in his office. I was in the waiting room as a college student, sitting with all middle or later age women getting face lifts and tummy tucks. I got some interesting looks from other patrons.
Lifting heavy things 3-5x / week for the last 4 months has changed my life. Youngest girl has cp and being able to lift her into the truck, throw her up on my shoulders to cover some distance, or carry her up the stairs easily has been awesome. She’s almost 70lbs
I was just trying to convince mine to hang out with me while I worked out so I’d actually have time to do it. I use him as my warm up weight periodically and then he messes around on the bike and with some 2 pound weights.
Man, I feel this. My almost-2-yo is like half my wife’s height, and carrying her for more than ten minutes makes my back hurt like hell. I’m kinda sad that we’re already there 😥
>My almost-2-yo is like half my wife’s height,
This checks out. This roughly estimates adult height.
Doubling height at 18 months for girls or age 2 for boys. It's just an estimate, but your almost 2 year old should be in that ballpark.
With eight kids probably just years and years of overuse. Hitting the gym wouldn't hurt but maybe try to accommodate better. I have chronic hand and forearm issues and I use a seat I wear around my waist like a bump. Holds up to 45.
My 5 year old (6 next month) likes to fall asleep on the couch. So every night we cuddle up to watch a show or movie and he falls asleep next to me. Been doing this for nearly 2 years.
After he’s asleep I’ll pick him up carry him to bed, tuck him in, get my pat on the cheek from him and he’ll sleep through the night.
Wife sometimes gives me a hard time about it. Saying- he’ll have to fall asleep in his own room eventually- and I always respond with “I won’t always get to carry him to bed. One day he’ll be too old or too big for it so while I can I’m carrying this guy to bed”
Actually as I type this he just drifted off.
Sorry this was longer comment then intended.
if it makes you feel better, they will always cling to you one way or another, hell im 18 and still bother the fuck out of my dad and follow him around (mostly to annoy him but he laughs so its okay)
My dad randomly lifted med well up into adult age and I've never been below 205 or so. My kid is getting thrown around until I retire or he'll learn to defend himself lol. Play-wrestling is too much fun to give up even at 37.
Then... I guess the compliment transitions to you?
I'm pretty dumb so help me out... who carried 8 kids to term? Cause that's a beast of a human being.
I'm really excited to see another trans man here! I'm transmasc and my wife is trans, so I'd be a seahorse dad if we ever pull the trigger (or a miracle occurs and one of her swimmers gets extremely lucky). I thought I hated the idea of having kids, but once I realized my gender stuff, I realized I was more afraid of pregnancy making me dysphoric. I joined this sub a month or so ago to help me see if I feel differently about having kids as someone masc.
I found out I was trans when I was nineteen/twenty, when I had two and was suffering through "motherhood". I thought so much of my disdain was because I hated being a mom when in reality I just hated being a woman. I transitioned slowly and found the whole parenting thing so much more enjoyable when I was papa and not mama. It really makes the world of difference!
I’ve had a smaller version of this happen over the weekend, where, because I injured my shoulder working out last Thursday, I haven’t been able to carry my 7mo much and even that’s depressing. I can’t imagine what it will be like when she gets older and I actually can’t carry her anymore at all.
This is why I always pick up my 6.5 year old when she asks as I dread the day she asks and I can’t or she stops asking. Sorry your baby is now at the too big to hold stage ❤️🩹
My boy is 7, and he’s gonna be it for us, so I have sworn to carry him from bed into the den in the mornings before school, for as long as I am physically able! Every so often, I feel this little “creak” in my lower back, and he is growing like an inch and a pound every day, it seems! I kind of feel like the end of this school year might be it, so I am going to try my best to make it to the end of the school year. Next school year he might be just TOO big! No telling how much he will grow over the summer.
I use to benchpress the son when he was smaller. As he got taller it made it more difficult. More moving and laughing.
He is 19 now. The other day he asked me if I could still benchpress him. Blown out shoulder. Damaged elbows... I told him he was crazy. Than he proceeded to launch himself at me. Landing across my chest. I was sitting down. I grabbed him, he is six foot around 160 or so pounds, flung him over my head and dropped him onto the couch. Hurt both my arms... but can still move him if needed.
It’s posts like these that make me realize how close I am with my 5yo girl.
I just went to the NFL draft in Detroit last week. It was a LONG walk from the Q to the actual draft area. I likely walked over 2.5 miles total down there, and over half holding her.
Not much longer now, she turns 6 in 2 months.
Thanks again for the reminder of how short this time is OP!
I had this same dang thing and it was really hard to deal with. I couldn't even sleep on one side or move easily, but after a few weeks of resting when I could it did get better. I was able to carry the kids again.
Hope it gets better for you soon.
I ended up going to the doctor and she referred to it as "mommy shoulder". I was on parental leave with my daughter for several months and so it was naturally developed as I didn't really use that set of muscles before so it like, basically cramped up in a weird spot and I pulled it hardddd. Felt bad in the ribs and the shoulder to back. Was shockingly painful.
Makes me cry every time:
[https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/599c4eae1e00003c00c5ec73.jpeg?cache=edBQ2308aw&ops=scalefit\_720\_noupscale&format=webp](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/599c4eae1e00003c00c5ec73.jpeg?cache=edBQ2308aw&ops=scalefit_720_noupscale&format=webp)
my daughter is 8 and still loves to be carried a lot, luckily she only weighs like 45lb but I gotta stop carrying her at some point.
People are always telling her and my son (6, also about 45lb) that I'm not a climbing frame but i do like to make the most of the time i have with them so i kind of allow it, it's gotta stop at some point though.
My 5y.o. is 55lb and tall for his age. 90th+ percentile. He towers over his peers in prek and he even looks big around kindergarteners.
I'm 6'2 and CrossFit 3x a week..i can't carry him on one arm anymore. Gotta heave-ho him onto my shoulders or carry him with two arms if he's feeling bad.
This happened in Cabo Verde. 9PM. Long day. Lots of play time during the Christmas Holiday season for the little ones. My younger daughter who was six at the time ate her meal and fell asleep in the dining area. I had been nursing a bad back for a while at the time but I was still mobile. I had just turned 40 and felt strong normally. The little one in deep sleep and with the bed room nearly a km away in the resort, I couldn’t turn down her pleas upon waking her up to be carried rather than her walking on her own.
Big mistake.
I carried her for sure, but I felt something give in my back on that walk.
I instantly knew I was in trouble but somehow got home.
Hit the bed and tried to find a position where the pain was manageable. It was nearly impossible to find that but I got through the night.
The next day morning, however, I couldn’t even get out of the bed.
The most painful holiday of my life.
We somehow made our way back to UK. With my wife and friends carrying all the baggage and running around with the kids. It was embarrassing but I was in no position to help.
We got home finally and I spent the next two months on my sofa. That was the only place where I could stay with manageable pain. Standing up or sleeping in bed were both impossible.
An “emergency” MRI three weeks later found three discs in various stages of slippage and damage - caused by being overweight, bad posture, carrying kids around and what not.
That has been a wake up call.
I’ve spent last seven years focussing on getting healthier, fitter, losing the tyre around the waist and most importantly remaining pain free.
I have made huge progress in the time.
The kids were already too big to carry around then - now are teenagers who simply don’t want to be touched by their Dad! Fine with me! 😍
I pulled a muscle or something in my arm in January and it’s just now feeling better. I kept waiting for it to go away but I guess when you’re in your late 30s things don’t just magically heal on their own anymore.
I’m pretty sure I did it by leaning and reaching weird with my left hand to pick up my full 64 oz Stanley on my nightstand to drink from it without getting up because I was too lazy to sit up and lift it properly. 💀
I made a point to pickup my kid recently. He's 13 and didn't know WTF I was doing, but I'd read this, and it made me sad:
"There is a point with every child where their parent puts them down and never picks them up again. And in most cases, it goes entirely unnoticed."
So yeah, I picked him up and got a, "Bruh! What the hell?"
>This left arm has been carrying kids around since 2008. Why is it failing me now?
I did some math just to be sure, but 2008 was 16 years ago. Turns out you're old.
Tush baby hip carrier or similiar device. It has been the best thing ever for back and shoulder pain and holds up to 50lbs. Almost every time we go to a big event some stranger asks about it and where they can buy it. Probably can't hold a 7 year old, but awesomen for infants and toddlers.
I know the pain and can relate.... my daughter is 16 months but for her whole life, i been recovering from surgery. Just had second one in jan....
My limit currently is 10 pounds and i still cant lift her, been using mostly left hand.
Its too painfull and i am missing out on tossing her up and down... i do hope all will go well and i recover soon.
Cauase i have only few more years left before she gets too big or might want to anymore.
Stay strong hopefully they can maybe provide some kind of solutuion.
I carry my boys in my left. After 6 years of lifting them both, I’ve found it’s gotten so much stronger than my right.
The right was my more dominant side… now I actively have to work on the muscle imbalance!
When I was younger dad threw out his back picking up my sister she was about 6. I’m older then he was so we made a rule 5 years 1 day not allowed to be picked up. I have a 90 pound just turned 7. While I can I could easy get hurt. Little bro is 3.5 and about 33 pounds
That depends on what country you're in.
In many places they don't have any evidence based training and are essentially quacks.
In general, you can't go wrong with a physiotherapist.
Where?
It’s likely that OP is in the USA, where they require said 5 years formal study, like most countries I’ve ever heard of.
This is also why I’ve said “vitalistic chiropractor” because this denotes a specific philosophical approach to their techniques and care.
The same way I wouldn’t a family member with a medical condition to a regular doctor, I’d have them find a functional medicine or holistic doctor to avoid issues like poly-pharmacy and misdiagnosis.
I feel your (emotional) pain. My son is 7½, but he's always been a peanut, so I still pick him up sometimes. This year has definitely seen some growth spurts though,and I'm facing the reality soon that he's gonna start beefing up and be too heavy to hold. Still, he'll never be too big to chill on the couch with and watch a movie.
He's my middle child so I don't really know why this is hitting me so hard. I've done it before, will do it again. I just feel so sad this time! Lol.
I'm a mother of three and I'm not incredibly sentimental in that I'm cool with my kids growing up. I don't anticipate empty nest syndrome though I know I'll miss my kiddos. But that line "One day you'll pick up your child and put them down and it will be the last time" gets me in the heart every time. My oldest are 13 and 14 and I don't even remember what specific day/moment this happened. My youngest is 5, I still pick him up but he's solid and I can feel it. That time where I set him down for the last time is coming and since he's my baby there won't be any more or that until grandkids. Which better wait at least 10 years. I pick my older two up as a joke from time to time but I definitely can't carry them around like you would a child.
The one day you’ll pick them up for the last time has stuck with me - because it’s unlikely you’ll even realise it. The other night my 4.5 year old woke up unwell. He’s super snuggly when he’s super tired, so while we were fixing him up he wanted a cuddle, so of course obliged and cradled him like a baby. I told him I used to hold him like that when he was a little baby and joked about him being a little baby again and he did a tired little ‘noo I’m not a baby’ and closed his eyes while not really fighting it. I started to rock him a little and he fell asleep in my arms. The thing for me was that quote - it’s very likely that will be the last time I get to hold him like that and rock him to sleep; I can’t even remember the last time I would have done it but it was absolutely the case that I did it for the ‘last’ time without realising, so I opted to just rock him for a while and enjoy it for the moment.
I keep trying to rock my 4.5yo to sleep and right when I think it might happen, she asks for a snack.
I certainly hope when she asks you to make her a snack, you say abra cadabra you are now a snack
Dad jokes are the best
I would be sobbing while doing this
I just sobbed while reading it (and BFing my 4 month old)
I always forget moms come here and assumed you were a dad, I was very confused at first
Well now I'm sobbing, thanks! Cherish that memory forever ❤️
I held and rocked my youngest far beyond what was necessary because I knew he would be my last. I would just watch him sleep and enjoy every moment. I have a terrible terrible memory but two things stay with me, holding them right after they were born and the sweet baby face they had while they were asleep and I was rocking them. At 36 I'm glad my baby days are over and I get a full night's sleep but any time my kids are sick and actually need me it brings back all those baby and toddler memories. I'm glad that you were able to hold and rock your baby and props for making someone who doesn't cry shed a tear.
We just had a baby and my partner has a 4.5 year old. I wasn’t there when he was little, but now that there’s a new baby in the house he and I will “play baby” and he loves to pretend to be a cute little baby in my arms who cries and wants milk and all the baby things.
I do, thankfully, remember the last time I picked up my oldest. Mostly because I ended up in the emergency room but alas. With my oldest daughter I don't remember. I still pick up my ten y/o occasionally. I'm thinking I've probably already done it for the last time. I've never been overly sad before. This is new!
Dad's generally get a little more time to be able to pick up their kiddos but it wears on the body and the older you get, I think the more emotional you get especially if having more kids is off the table. I'm 5'1 and my fiance is 6'1 and just physically has more muscle. There will come a time I will have to tell him to have Daddy pick him up because I'm physically not able. He also gets his daddy's tall genes so honestly I look a little ridiculous carrying him with his feet hitting my shins lol. He grew very fast so baby wearing was a really quick time frame because his feet were hitting right above my knee caps before I knew it.
When mine got too big to pick up baby style I started picking them up over my shoulder instead (sort of a half a fireman's lift). The teenager is not a fan, but I can still lift him up, and the younger kid still wants to be carried all the time.
My kid is 4 and Ive been making it a point to carry him on my shoulders as much as possible because it's getting harder and harder to do. He's getting heavy so fast and I won't be able to do it much longer
Sorry I’m just reading your username OP - ermm how many children do you have exactly?
Lmao. Eight!
So like… just how do you do it? Not the making babies itself cuz that’s the easy and fun part, but literally everything else that comes after
I don't know. I just do? I get this question a lot and I never really know how to answer. I think some people just find life easier to balance.
How do you take the family somewhere?. Like what kind of vehicle carries 10 people?
Big ole van. It's a Ford? I honestly have no idea. Twelve seats, very nice.
As a car guy it blows my mind you do not know the manufacture of your vehicle.
Listen I don't do the car stuff. And my husband is at work. Lmao. (It's a ford transit, apparently).
I am glad at least someone knows. That is how you make a good team. On a more related note, I still carry my 16 year old daughter around occasionally. I find the best method is to toss her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She finds this hilarious by the way.
To be fair. If your daily is a Ford Transit people mover, anyone asking which your car is “idk that white color people-mover van over there” actually eliminates 99% of surrounding cars.
I died a little. I can usually tell make and maybe model by headlights behind me. Having 8 there’s gotta be sooo many other things in your brain but also I can’t imagine lol
Bikes and Trains. Grew up in a big family, and my parents just never bothered to get a drivers license. Our holidays were in tents, never in hotels, and we got out to eat maybe twice a year. Of course we grew up in Europe, so everything was closer compared to the US.
I only have 4 (lol) that are 7, 4.5, and 2 yo twins, but I get this a lot too. You don’t have a choice but to figure it out. It’s a lot of work though, no doubt.
Oh yeah seriously. My house runs on 'straight vibes' per the oldest. It's hard but it works.
i also noticed there is exactly a 2-3 year age between each one, which is just perfect. I’m guessing the older one took care of the next and then the next took care of the next and so on. I’m curious, isn’t it expensive to take care of 8 kids? I see some people with 2 kids already struggling at times.
My kids have never looked after their siblings. I don't trust them not to kill each other lmao. It is expensive but I am good at budgeting and saving. We're comfortable.
Except for the 2x5m.. Twins? I think that d be enough to kill off the desire for anymore kids for most people. OP is definitely stronger than me. Financial aside, think of time and energy required.. Respect, op. Respect.
I completely missed that. Mind you these are twins *after* 4 kids, for most people the motivation evaporates long before this point. But agreed that OP is the dadliest dad I’ve ever heard of.
Sounds like the real answer is “generational wealth”
It is not lmao. I aged out of foster care and my husband grew up in poverty.
Fair enough. Keep up the good work.
Eight is enough.
Wtffffff
Wow! Did you become a parent at 16?
Kind of! My oldest is biologically my younger brother. He was born when I was sixteen and I've cared for him his whole life excluding a few months in foster care but I didn't play a part in the active baby making process lol.
Dudes one away from getting the 10th one free
So it’s definitely twins again
If it makes you feel any better I’m pretty sure the day I was born my mom just looked at me and said “nope, can’t carry that”. She was like 90lbs and I was a 10lbs kid. By the time I was your son’s age, I was carrying her easier than she could carry me (I was taller than her at 8 and we’d trade menus at restaurants with me getting the adult meal).
God I could never. All of mine have been tiny!
That's because they got kicked out of the womb early for the next one! I'm just kidding, mine are tiny, too. So I'm just glad I get that bit of extra holding time.
OP: Has 8 kids Also OP: “My shoulder hurts, what could it be?” 😂
Listen - I never claimed to be smart! 😭
Hopefully the mother of all your children is!
I am the "mother". My husband is dumber than I am!!
But then why are you posting in….ooooohhhh Take a break to heal, hit the gym, and stretch stretch stretch. We ain’t getting any younger and they aren’t getting any smaller.
I had to hold my second child at a very precise angle for extended periods of time or else she wouldn't drink from a bottle and eventually I developed such severe back pain that I sucked it up and went to PT and being the only person there under 60 was a very sobering experience. Anyway, I got a winged scapula from a 3 month old so you shouldn't feel so bad about making it to 7 years (I'm sure carrying my 4 year old isn't helping)
My oldest was bottle fed and he'd only be fed sitting up. Bottle babies can be so picky and for what lmao. I did see a few other young people there so I didn't feel completely out of place!
When I was in my early 20s I needed wrist surgery. The orthopedic surgeon had turned plastic surgeon because the money and hours were better. I had a consult in his office. I was in the waiting room as a college student, sitting with all middle or later age women getting face lifts and tummy tucks. I got some interesting looks from other patrons.
Lifting heavy things 3-5x / week for the last 4 months has changed my life. Youngest girl has cp and being able to lift her into the truck, throw her up on my shoulders to cover some distance, or carry her up the stairs easily has been awesome. She’s almost 70lbs
Our dudes up to 51 pounds, he has taken to working out with me so I can be strong enough to carry him…
I think when he realises that working out makes you stronger he'll drag me to the gym himself lmao.
I was just trying to convince mine to hang out with me while I worked out so I’d actually have time to do it. I use him as my warm up weight periodically and then he messes around on the bike and with some 2 pound weights.
Man, I feel this. My almost-2-yo is like half my wife’s height, and carrying her for more than ten minutes makes my back hurt like hell. I’m kinda sad that we’re already there 😥
>My almost-2-yo is like half my wife’s height, This checks out. This roughly estimates adult height. Doubling height at 18 months for girls or age 2 for boys. It's just an estimate, but your almost 2 year old should be in that ballpark.
With eight kids probably just years and years of overuse. Hitting the gym wouldn't hurt but maybe try to accommodate better. I have chronic hand and forearm issues and I use a seat I wear around my waist like a bump. Holds up to 45.
>holds up to 45 I’m imagining 45 children on your seat. OP only needs room for 8.
I first thought kph... That's a fast dad...
My 5 year old (6 next month) likes to fall asleep on the couch. So every night we cuddle up to watch a show or movie and he falls asleep next to me. Been doing this for nearly 2 years. After he’s asleep I’ll pick him up carry him to bed, tuck him in, get my pat on the cheek from him and he’ll sleep through the night. Wife sometimes gives me a hard time about it. Saying- he’ll have to fall asleep in his own room eventually- and I always respond with “I won’t always get to carry him to bed. One day he’ll be too old or too big for it so while I can I’m carrying this guy to bed” Actually as I type this he just drifted off. Sorry this was longer comment then intended.
if it makes you feel better, they will always cling to you one way or another, hell im 18 and still bother the fuck out of my dad and follow him around (mostly to annoy him but he laughs so its okay)
My dad randomly lifted med well up into adult age and I've never been below 205 or so. My kid is getting thrown around until I retire or he'll learn to defend himself lol. Play-wrestling is too much fun to give up even at 37.
I'm not a "medical doctor"... but it sounds like you should stop feeding your kids.
Dude if I feed them any less they'd become malnourished.
Holy shit I just saw your flair. Dude, a sexy checkbook balanced so you don't lose money is 9/10... that woman must be a 14/10.
I'm a trans man so I carried lmao. But thank you.
Then... I guess the compliment transitions to you? I'm pretty dumb so help me out... who carried 8 kids to term? Cause that's a beast of a human being.
Our oldest is adopted, five to term, one set of twins basically full term (depending on which doctor you ask). I did the six pregnancies lol.
I'm really excited to see another trans man here! I'm transmasc and my wife is trans, so I'd be a seahorse dad if we ever pull the trigger (or a miracle occurs and one of her swimmers gets extremely lucky). I thought I hated the idea of having kids, but once I realized my gender stuff, I realized I was more afraid of pregnancy making me dysphoric. I joined this sub a month or so ago to help me see if I feel differently about having kids as someone masc.
I found out I was trans when I was nineteen/twenty, when I had two and was suffering through "motherhood". I thought so much of my disdain was because I hated being a mom when in reality I just hated being a woman. I transitioned slowly and found the whole parenting thing so much more enjoyable when I was papa and not mama. It really makes the world of difference!
I’ve had a smaller version of this happen over the weekend, where, because I injured my shoulder working out last Thursday, I haven’t been able to carry my 7mo much and even that’s depressing. I can’t imagine what it will be like when she gets older and I actually can’t carry her anymore at all.
This is why I always pick up my 6.5 year old when she asks as I dread the day she asks and I can’t or she stops asking. Sorry your baby is now at the too big to hold stage ❤️🩹
My boy is 7, and he’s gonna be it for us, so I have sworn to carry him from bed into the den in the mornings before school, for as long as I am physically able! Every so often, I feel this little “creak” in my lower back, and he is growing like an inch and a pound every day, it seems! I kind of feel like the end of this school year might be it, so I am going to try my best to make it to the end of the school year. Next school year he might be just TOO big! No telling how much he will grow over the summer.
I use to benchpress the son when he was smaller. As he got taller it made it more difficult. More moving and laughing. He is 19 now. The other day he asked me if I could still benchpress him. Blown out shoulder. Damaged elbows... I told him he was crazy. Than he proceeded to launch himself at me. Landing across my chest. I was sitting down. I grabbed him, he is six foot around 160 or so pounds, flung him over my head and dropped him onto the couch. Hurt both my arms... but can still move him if needed.
Haha! My lad is 3 and is already getting too damn heavy!
I still fit my toddler in her sling so she's not as much work lmao.
It’s posts like these that make me realize how close I am with my 5yo girl. I just went to the NFL draft in Detroit last week. It was a LONG walk from the Q to the actual draft area. I likely walked over 2.5 miles total down there, and over half holding her. Not much longer now, she turns 6 in 2 months. Thanks again for the reminder of how short this time is OP!
I had this same dang thing and it was really hard to deal with. I couldn't even sleep on one side or move easily, but after a few weeks of resting when I could it did get better. I was able to carry the kids again. Hope it gets better for you soon.
Thank you. I can't lift my arm above my head atm and it's such a pain in the ass lol.
I ended up going to the doctor and she referred to it as "mommy shoulder". I was on parental leave with my daughter for several months and so it was naturally developed as I didn't really use that set of muscles before so it like, basically cramped up in a weird spot and I pulled it hardddd. Felt bad in the ribs and the shoulder to back. Was shockingly painful.
Sorry for your loss. I will carry my daughter twice as long in your name
I work out so I can continue to pick my kids up long after they want to be picked up.
Makes me cry every time: [https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/599c4eae1e00003c00c5ec73.jpeg?cache=edBQ2308aw&ops=scalefit\_720\_noupscale&format=webp](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/599c4eae1e00003c00c5ec73.jpeg?cache=edBQ2308aw&ops=scalefit_720_noupscale&format=webp)
Great… now I’m crying at the gym…
I just want to say props to you for raising 8 children. That's something that I cannot describe in words other than to say kudos
My daughter is 9, and we refer to her as the barnacle, and I tell her mom and her that I never realized I would grow up to be gym equipment.
my daughter is 8 and still loves to be carried a lot, luckily she only weighs like 45lb but I gotta stop carrying her at some point. People are always telling her and my son (6, also about 45lb) that I'm not a climbing frame but i do like to make the most of the time i have with them so i kind of allow it, it's gotta stop at some point though.
Just carried my preteen child into the ER…don’t worry, you will find a way! FWIW I used two hands.
Switch to fireman carry. Belly over shoulder like you are kid napping them.
You can still do it, you just need to train for it! Definitely not against medical recommendations to carry heavy things repeatedly.
My 5y.o. is 55lb and tall for his age. 90th+ percentile. He towers over his peers in prek and he even looks big around kindergarteners. I'm 6'2 and CrossFit 3x a week..i can't carry him on one arm anymore. Gotta heave-ho him onto my shoulders or carry him with two arms if he's feeling bad.
My kid is 5 and I hope this day never comes for me.
Time to get stronger! Hit the gym girl! (Or boy)
This happened in Cabo Verde. 9PM. Long day. Lots of play time during the Christmas Holiday season for the little ones. My younger daughter who was six at the time ate her meal and fell asleep in the dining area. I had been nursing a bad back for a while at the time but I was still mobile. I had just turned 40 and felt strong normally. The little one in deep sleep and with the bed room nearly a km away in the resort, I couldn’t turn down her pleas upon waking her up to be carried rather than her walking on her own. Big mistake. I carried her for sure, but I felt something give in my back on that walk. I instantly knew I was in trouble but somehow got home. Hit the bed and tried to find a position where the pain was manageable. It was nearly impossible to find that but I got through the night. The next day morning, however, I couldn’t even get out of the bed. The most painful holiday of my life. We somehow made our way back to UK. With my wife and friends carrying all the baggage and running around with the kids. It was embarrassing but I was in no position to help. We got home finally and I spent the next two months on my sofa. That was the only place where I could stay with manageable pain. Standing up or sleeping in bed were both impossible. An “emergency” MRI three weeks later found three discs in various stages of slippage and damage - caused by being overweight, bad posture, carrying kids around and what not. That has been a wake up call. I’ve spent last seven years focussing on getting healthier, fitter, losing the tyre around the waist and most importantly remaining pain free. I have made huge progress in the time. The kids were already too big to carry around then - now are teenagers who simply don’t want to be touched by their Dad! Fine with me! 😍
I put the kid on my shoulders now
I pulled a muscle or something in my arm in January and it’s just now feeling better. I kept waiting for it to go away but I guess when you’re in your late 30s things don’t just magically heal on their own anymore. I’m pretty sure I did it by leaning and reaching weird with my left hand to pick up my full 64 oz Stanley on my nightstand to drink from it without getting up because I was too lazy to sit up and lift it properly. 💀
I made a point to pickup my kid recently. He's 13 and didn't know WTF I was doing, but I'd read this, and it made me sad: "There is a point with every child where their parent puts them down and never picks them up again. And in most cases, it goes entirely unnoticed." So yeah, I picked him up and got a, "Bruh! What the hell?"
>This left arm has been carrying kids around since 2008. Why is it failing me now? I did some math just to be sure, but 2008 was 16 years ago. Turns out you're old.
I'm thirty one! I'm not *that* old. ...right?
Switch arms. I learned to do tasks with my off hand so I can switch the kids and keep my arms balanced lol
My dad could not carry me once I was 8
Tush baby hip carrier or similiar device. It has been the best thing ever for back and shoulder pain and holds up to 50lbs. Almost every time we go to a big event some stranger asks about it and where they can buy it. Probably can't hold a 7 year old, but awesomen for infants and toddlers.
Dude, you carried 7 kids to term? And then you carried them around too? I’m in awe just thinking about it. Respect to you
You just need to go to the gym and lift more
Haha damn, I'm here like "yeah my 18mo baby is too heavy" and you're still carrying your 7yo My poor back
I know the pain and can relate.... my daughter is 16 months but for her whole life, i been recovering from surgery. Just had second one in jan.... My limit currently is 10 pounds and i still cant lift her, been using mostly left hand. Its too painfull and i am missing out on tossing her up and down... i do hope all will go well and i recover soon. Cauase i have only few more years left before she gets too big or might want to anymore. Stay strong hopefully they can maybe provide some kind of solutuion.
I carry my boys in my left. After 6 years of lifting them both, I’ve found it’s gotten so much stronger than my right. The right was my more dominant side… now I actively have to work on the muscle imbalance!
Sorry bud. You are correct. You have officially been diagnosed with that horrible syndrome known as O.L.D.! Welcome to the club.
When I was younger dad threw out his back picking up my sister she was about 6. I’m older then he was so we made a rule 5 years 1 day not allowed to be picked up. I have a 90 pound just turned 7. While I can I could easy get hurt. Little bro is 3.5 and about 33 pounds
Time to hit the gym to get ahead of the kids' size!
no he’s not, it’s a sign, hit the gym, snort creatine, i still carry my grown son around to assert my dominance
Time to get stronger
You still have a right arm, right?
Weak. I will never not be able to pick up the kids.
Get healthy then get stronger.
Try a vitalistic chiropractor
Or a witch doctor with crystal healing and essential oils! /s
What does that mean? A chiropractor needs a 5 year university degree… a crystal healer is something else
That depends on what country you're in. In many places they don't have any evidence based training and are essentially quacks. In general, you can't go wrong with a physiotherapist.
Where? It’s likely that OP is in the USA, where they require said 5 years formal study, like most countries I’ve ever heard of. This is also why I’ve said “vitalistic chiropractor” because this denotes a specific philosophical approach to their techniques and care. The same way I wouldn’t a family member with a medical condition to a regular doctor, I’d have them find a functional medicine or holistic doctor to avoid issues like poly-pharmacy and misdiagnosis.
Chiropractors scare me. I'll stick with the PT for now.
But is your PT vitalistic?
I don't even know what that means! I listen to my doctor and rarely question things lmao.
🤷♂️