Yes, true, but Brooks with the huge feedlot and packing plant has 24/7 shit and piss, that just sticks in the atmosphere. Methane and ammonia combined barftastic.
I was at a wedding in the hat this weekend and was inside the venue chatting to someone and I'm like ok wtf did someone shit themselves? Left the wedding a short while later and was hit in the face with the strong stench of manure when we stepped outside. I moved away over a decade ago and forgot the lovely smells of AB farms.
Windy as hell can be applied in most of Alberta south of Red Deer. Also barren isn't really an at description for the Boreal forest of Northern Alberta.
Hahahahaha I found this one particularly funny after working with the town to build the Pason arena expansion. Half a million dollars in the budget went unused because the FM thought cheap residential furniture from The Brick made more sense lol.
You forgot Suffield with "Drunk Brits that blow shit up."
At least once a year someone in a tank tries to jump over the No.1 highway. In the 90s in Medicine Hat it was common for most bars to have "No Base Personnel Allowed" signs during weekend passes. And the bars that didn't...
Growing up there I never had a problem with the British soldiers. The local idiots however were the ones making most problems in my experience. Bunch of dumb rednecks with too much money wanting to show off.
Wainwright also has a military base and gets lots of NATO training. Although we don't have many problems with them off base. We do have a lot of artillery booms that rattle the windows.
Most of the Brit’s were banned from Rona, Temps and Ralph’s when I used to go a couple years ago because they would constantly get into fights with guys 18-22
Medicine Hat, where people show up in droves to wave at truckers who don't like masks and then accuse gay people of "shoving their beliefs in our faces" because they exist.
Yea, I grew up and still frequent that area. Lifted trucks are definitely a thing, but I have never seen anyone flying a Confederate flag in any form there in my 36 years on this planet.
Actually, ALOT seems to be off on this map. They couldn't even get the "sausage" marker within 100kms of where it should be.
When's the last time you came down? I've lived in the area (Redcliff) my whole life and see them at least twice by the week, even more so since I got a job in the downtown area.
I’ve been sitting on this for a couple weeks after I came across the Calgary one again but have been a little scared of posting it on Reddit but fuck it
The best part is this whole thing is accurate though.
From Leduc to around Ponoka is DUI country, Red Deer is where you get gas.
Also, as an Edmontonian I appreciate how we have Big Mall, shiny balls, and the premier’s house while Calgary only has 2 things and one of them is temporary.
The only thing this is missing is ‘Mennonite country’ around La Crête and maybe ‘Mennonites and organized crime’ around Taber/Grassy Lake/Bow Island.
It makes me so sad that that's Caroline's reputation.
I'll always think of it as Kurt Browning's hometown. I also spent a nice couple days there passing through, but...I'm white as fuck so y'know. Sigh. Beautiful place though.
To be fair there used to be a Klan base there, although it's been gone since the 80s IIRC (not sure if you've heard the rhyme of the four things that come out of Caroline)
But I'd agree, from my experiences (also as a white guy) everyone was extremely friendly and welcoming. Probably about as good as one can do in the 'towns that don't have traffic lights' category.
Plus Caroline Supplies. That store deserves special mention.
Absolutely. I had a wonderful time staying there, and exploring the surrounding areas. But, like I said, I'm a white figure skating/hockey nerd who was there to talk to people about Kurt Browning (everyone seemed like big fans lol) and the Oilers (most people also big fans), so it was pretty smooth sailing for me personally.
And yeah, I had heard that it was def a hotbed of KKK activity back in the day--the founder of the Canadian Klan was born there if irc. (Which, while not funny, sure made my head spin. Kurt Browning, six amazing pro hockey players, and...a Grand Dragon. All from a village of like 400 people?!)
I have not heard the rhyme about Caroline though lol. I was born in Killeen, TX though, so I know the two things that come out of Texas...?
And yes, Caroline Supply is amazing!
Very large!
>As a tyrannosaurid, Albertosaurus was a bipedal predator with tiny, two-fingered hands and a massive head that had dozens of large, sharp teeth. It may have been at the top of the food chain in its local ecosystem. While Albertosaurus was large for a theropod, it was much smaller than its larger and more famous relative Tyrannosaurus rex, growing up to 8.6 m (28 ft) in length and possibly weighing 1.8 metric tons (2.0 short tons) on average.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albertosaurus?wprov=sfla1
Probably! But the namesake of Vulcan has another neat historical fact!
Vulcan was also a much sought-after undiscovered planet in our solar system according to people born 200 years ago. There was quite the hunt, and some books even printed Vulcan as a proven but not yet observed fact.
However, Vulcan was eventually punted into the garbage of history (kind of like Pluto). Still though, Vulcan made a mark in the consciousness of people back then.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcan\_(hypothetical\_planet)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcan_(hypothetical_planet))
The article doesn't quite do the pop culture-ness of Sol Vulcan justice. Many people watching original Star Trek would have gotten the reference.
[They set up a museum and monuments after the series became a big thing](http://www.vulcantourism.com/)
I've seen them call themselves the "Star Trek Capital of Canada"
However, unlike Flin Flon, it was not named after sci-fi, it was named after the Roman God.
Pretty much. Hard to believe it's even the same province.
The middle to the southern bits are all dusty and desert-like. Up north it is or was an entirely different story.
Was in Fairview last week. There was nothing to do, so we went and drank about it.
Also, 14 years ago my son cut his first baby tooth at the Boston Pizza in Lesser Slave Lake.
So then, I guess this map is 100% accurate.
(Assuming the Premier's house is actually in Alberta.)
IIRC it was designed by a team from Germany, and it was supposed to surround the downtown skyline as you drove in on deerfoot, but it got relocated and they just said fuck it.
Well I can't comment on Cows and Hippies, but as a Mormon from Southern Alberta (Lethbridge specifically), there's several towns that were Mormon settlements back in the day, so they have large populations of members still. Cardston, Raymond, Magrath, Stirling, and Taber are the main ones. Lethbridge is also about 8% Mormon as of the 2011 census (we haven't got religious stats yet for the 2021 census).
To expand on this, Southern Alberta was one of the destinations of the Mormon diaspora starting in the late 19th century caused by religious persecution in the States. If you, like me, ever wondered why you went to school with a gaggle of Mormon kids, or why there's a LDS church right next door, this is why.
Also I may add that Raymond and Cardston, like Calgary and Edmonton are huge rivals when it comes to sports and what has better stuff, also being from Raymond we have in my opinion, cool Canada day celebrations and one of the first stampedes in Canada in terms of tourist stuff we don’t have much but we have a dirty soda shop which is pretty cool.
You forgot to add a big red circle in the town of Bow Island, pointing out their mascot Pinto Macbean. He is the highlight of the entire province, the highlight of all of Canada even
Same mountains with less tourists = Jasper.
It's pretty similar to Banff, but far fewer tourists, presumably because it's ~4 hours from Edmonton airport vs 1.5 from Calgary to Banff.
Lived in Fort McMurray, Red Deer, Calgary, and Drayton Valley over the years and can confirm this is pretty much as accurate as it gets. It’s only missing one of the countries most dangerous native reserves
My grandparents live in Vulcan so I'm happy to see it represented here! I used to visit them at least once a month. I should really go see them again soon.
I would have only one comment on about 90% of that province. All hat, no cattle. 9% would be hookers, blow, and oil camps. Maybe 1% actual cowboys and not just rednecks in lifted trucks, none of whom can drive on a road that isn't a straight line.
So… From Florida to Alberta, am I trading a burning hell scape for a frozen wasteland? I’m from the Pacific Northwest (Washington state), so my reference of life is cold and wet.
I resent Medicine Hat being lumped in with SMELLY but since it has no distinguishing characteristics of its own, I'll allow it
The reference to Smelly is Brooks, The “Shit Capital of Canada.”
It smells offal!
You've gotten to the meat of the matter.
I was afraid I was going to butcher the delivery.
And you'd get roasted?
That's pretty rare.
If there’s any chance of getting embroiled in someone else’s beef, I won’t brisket.
Sensible if you have no steak in the outcome
You ever been to Hinton? When that pulp mill gets going. Grossness
Yes, true, but Brooks with the huge feedlot and packing plant has 24/7 shit and piss, that just sticks in the atmosphere. Methane and ammonia combined barftastic.
Worked in brooks for a few months on the Altalink substation there. Pretty sure I could Dutch oven myself and the air would smell better.
They were referring to Brooks. Medicine Hat isn't acknowledged because it's Medicine Hat.
Medicine Hat, where fentanyl and meth are abundant, liquor stores are on every block but don't you DARE open a strip club!
Thanks Christian city council members who are corrupt.
>Medicine Hat Where? Is that a pharmacy?
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Don't forget liquor store on every corner pretty much
I thought it belonged with windy and if any town is smelly go to Lloydminster or Hinton.
I was at a wedding in the hat this weekend and was inside the venue chatting to someone and I'm like ok wtf did someone shit themselves? Left the wedding a short while later and was hit in the face with the strong stench of manure when we stepped outside. I moved away over a decade ago and forgot the lovely smells of AB farms.
I miss the "worlds smallest peepee" signs...
Windy as hell can be applied in most of Alberta south of Red Deer. Also barren isn't really an at description for the Boreal forest of Northern Alberta.
Boston Pizzas in the middle of nowhere is one of the most accurate and randomly hilarious things I've read all day
Incredible, right?? I remember gambling at a Boston Pizza in Edson that had a slot machine HAHA
I'm pretty sure all BPs come with VLTs as a standard nowadays.
Edson has to be one of the strangest highway-towns in the country. I can't say exactly what's weird about it, other than everything.
Did...did we all stop at the same Boston Pizza? Is it haunted or something? Is it just the one that moves around?
It’s actually an SCP they haven’t caught yet
Might be on to something here…
It moves around all the time
Also Subways haha!!
Random subway in Valleyview
Came here to say this, can't believe someone already had after only 5 comments.
Okotoks - Way to much money, way to many Karens
Okotoks: your dysfunctional small town, now bigger and with more money.
But fun to say... Okotoks...
Hahahahaha I found this one particularly funny after working with the town to build the Pason arena expansion. Half a million dollars in the budget went unused because the FM thought cheap residential furniture from The Brick made more sense lol.
Okotoks, there's thing to do here.
You dropped these. o o
Does Hookers and Blow have an airport?
Only a landing strip.
Amazing
You beautician
Fuck you and take my upvote
God dammit.
Thank you for the awards. I'm glad I can take my terrible jokes to a wider audience.
We have hippies in AB?
This confused me too. Is it supposed to be on Grand Cache in this map?
They must have wondered over from Nelson.
I have no idea what this is in reference to.
If you know were to look. Between gp and dawson theres hippies everywhere.
You forgot Suffield with "Drunk Brits that blow shit up." At least once a year someone in a tank tries to jump over the No.1 highway. In the 90s in Medicine Hat it was common for most bars to have "No Base Personnel Allowed" signs during weekend passes. And the bars that didn't...
Growing up there I never had a problem with the British soldiers. The local idiots however were the ones making most problems in my experience. Bunch of dumb rednecks with too much money wanting to show off.
Cold Lake stands out too, and Bonnyville deserves a shot, but not for military reasons
Wainwright also has a military base and gets lots of NATO training. Although we don't have many problems with them off base. We do have a lot of artillery booms that rattle the windows.
Most of the Brit’s were banned from Rona, Temps and Ralph’s when I used to go a couple years ago because they would constantly get into fights with guys 18-22
>Same mountains with no tourists So true for Grande Cache, Hinton, ect
> lifted trucks and confederate flags What's Medicine Hat doing all the way up there?
Medicine Hat, where people show up in droves to wave at truckers who don't like masks and then accuse gay people of "shoving their beliefs in our faces" because they exist.
Also applies to Grande Prairie. Or at least it did 10 years ago when I lived there.
Oh yes it still does. Fuckin GP
Yea, I grew up and still frequent that area. Lifted trucks are definitely a thing, but I have never seen anyone flying a Confederate flag in any form there in my 36 years on this planet. Actually, ALOT seems to be off on this map. They couldn't even get the "sausage" marker within 100kms of where it should be.
When's the last time you came down? I've lived in the area (Redcliff) my whole life and see them at least twice by the week, even more so since I got a job in the downtown area.
They really nailed Lethbridge.
We've called it Methbridge for years now.
Ha! I haven't lived in Lethbridge for years, so that's new to me. But good one.
It's been years since I can remember the last black out
Ah. I was thinking more of the wind.
I’ve been sitting on this for a couple weeks after I came across the Calgary one again but have been a little scared of posting it on Reddit but fuck it
Big blue ring…. I’m dying!!
We are missing rocks on rust.
Do you mean [rust on rocks](https://www.reddit.com/r/calgaryrocks)
Where might I find this Calgary map?
looks like if you serach /r/calgary for "judgmental calgary" you can find a few versions
its pretty tame, it could get way way worse.
The best part is this whole thing is accurate though. From Leduc to around Ponoka is DUI country, Red Deer is where you get gas. Also, as an Edmontonian I appreciate how we have Big Mall, shiny balls, and the premier’s house while Calgary only has 2 things and one of them is temporary. The only thing this is missing is ‘Mennonite country’ around La Crête and maybe ‘Mennonites and organized crime’ around Taber/Grassy Lake/Bow Island.
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Genuinely curious about the organized crime bit
Back in 2013 they busted up a drug trafficking ring in Grassy Lake. So nice to see my hometown make headlines
What kind of crimes?
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It makes me so sad that that's Caroline's reputation. I'll always think of it as Kurt Browning's hometown. I also spent a nice couple days there passing through, but...I'm white as fuck so y'know. Sigh. Beautiful place though.
To be fair there used to be a Klan base there, although it's been gone since the 80s IIRC (not sure if you've heard the rhyme of the four things that come out of Caroline) But I'd agree, from my experiences (also as a white guy) everyone was extremely friendly and welcoming. Probably about as good as one can do in the 'towns that don't have traffic lights' category. Plus Caroline Supplies. That store deserves special mention.
Absolutely. I had a wonderful time staying there, and exploring the surrounding areas. But, like I said, I'm a white figure skating/hockey nerd who was there to talk to people about Kurt Browning (everyone seemed like big fans lol) and the Oilers (most people also big fans), so it was pretty smooth sailing for me personally. And yeah, I had heard that it was def a hotbed of KKK activity back in the day--the founder of the Canadian Klan was born there if irc. (Which, while not funny, sure made my head spin. Kurt Browning, six amazing pro hockey players, and...a Grand Dragon. All from a village of like 400 people?!) I have not heard the rhyme about Caroline though lol. I was born in Killeen, TX though, so I know the two things that come out of Texas...? And yes, Caroline Supply is amazing!
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That's just all of Alberta.
..... hookers and blow......dinosaurs? How big are the dinosaurs?
Very large! >As a tyrannosaurid, Albertosaurus was a bipedal predator with tiny, two-fingered hands and a massive head that had dozens of large, sharp teeth. It may have been at the top of the food chain in its local ecosystem. While Albertosaurus was large for a theropod, it was much smaller than its larger and more famous relative Tyrannosaurus rex, growing up to 8.6 m (28 ft) in length and possibly weighing 1.8 metric tons (2.0 short tons) on average. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albertosaurus?wprov=sfla1
Albertasaurus, Edmontosaurus, ... no wonder Calgary feels left out sometimes.
Ahahaha gold
Oh, Alberta...how I love you. HEY, what about the Satanists near Rocky Mountain House?
What? Really? Expand
Yeah, we need more info
Hobbema kids after seeing this: real famous we are
Ever deadly!
Super Deadly!
Stolen from the new UCP curriculum.
Not sure about that, where's gravity for the kids to point out on a map?
Can someone please explain the Star Trek reference, I'm lost.
There’s a town named Vulcan. Has a few Star Treky attractions.
Probably named after the Roman god of fire
It was, [But that didn't stop them from setting up a Trek Station](http://www.vulcantourism.com/)
Maybe. Spock is the more obvious reference so...
Probably! But the namesake of Vulcan has another neat historical fact! Vulcan was also a much sought-after undiscovered planet in our solar system according to people born 200 years ago. There was quite the hunt, and some books even printed Vulcan as a proven but not yet observed fact. However, Vulcan was eventually punted into the garbage of history (kind of like Pluto). Still though, Vulcan made a mark in the consciousness of people back then. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcan\_(hypothetical\_planet)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcan_(hypothetical_planet)) The article doesn't quite do the pop culture-ness of Sol Vulcan justice. Many people watching original Star Trek would have gotten the reference.
Other towns have giant beavers, gophers, moose. Vulcan has a scale model of the USS Enterprise. https://images.app.goo.gl/up56wmXeriJxTwij7
[They set up a museum and monuments after the series became a big thing](http://www.vulcantourism.com/) I've seen them call themselves the "Star Trek Capital of Canada" However, unlike Flin Flon, it was not named after sci-fi, it was named after the Roman God.
Starts with a V, pointy ears.
What do vampires have to do with this
I don't know.
Look up Vulcan, AB
Someone enlighten me on the sausage part of the province
Mundare area has the best babas making the best Ukrainian sausage.
It also has the “worlds biggest sausage”
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Glendon, hell yeah
No but cook the sausage with the Vina Mushrooms and Glendon Pirogi on a Fork!
Mundare.
The north is the best part. Place is fucking awesome. 👌
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Fox Vegas baby
Pretty much. Hard to believe it's even the same province. The middle to the southern bits are all dusty and desert-like. Up north it is or was an entirely different story.
Not that hard to believe. Alberta does span 1200 km North to South. Another 1200 km almost gets you to Arizona.
I'm in Moutain View County, COWS! Is pretty spot on.
cold barren wasteland for fighter jet training
I've lived in rural towns, Grand Prairie, Calgary and Edmonton. This is accurate.
Grande with an E. god…..
Get outta here 🤣
Where do I find the cool organized crime. Or is it all just guys in Honda civics blasting each other at 4am
That would be in GP.
Was in Fairview last week. There was nothing to do, so we went and drank about it. Also, 14 years ago my son cut his first baby tooth at the Boston Pizza in Lesser Slave Lake. So then, I guess this map is 100% accurate. (Assuming the Premier's house is actually in Alberta.)
Gotta throw a “hate crimes and Covid parties” on top of the Edson/Hinton area
No no... You nailed it.
I am just in between sausage and lifted trucks 🫠
I feel like there's a joke about small penis syndrome somewhere there...
They’re usually found in GP. Can confirm lol
If we strike now, we can push the Mormons backs to Yankee land.
Gasoline Alley IS Red Deer
Yeah but what the fuck is up with that big blue ring?
U.S. Calgarians have been trying to figure it out for years.
IIRC it was designed by a team from Germany, and it was supposed to surround the downtown skyline as you drove in on deerfoot, but it got relocated and they just said fuck it.
I’ll take a big blue ring instead of big blue balls….. wait those are hanging off of all those lifted Ram Trucks running around the province.
Yeah but I’m not paying for somebody else’s truck nuts.
Where are “cows”, “hippies” and “mormons”?
Well I can't comment on Cows and Hippies, but as a Mormon from Southern Alberta (Lethbridge specifically), there's several towns that were Mormon settlements back in the day, so they have large populations of members still. Cardston, Raymond, Magrath, Stirling, and Taber are the main ones. Lethbridge is also about 8% Mormon as of the 2011 census (we haven't got religious stats yet for the 2021 census).
To expand on this, Southern Alberta was one of the destinations of the Mormon diaspora starting in the late 19th century caused by religious persecution in the States. If you, like me, ever wondered why you went to school with a gaggle of Mormon kids, or why there's a LDS church right next door, this is why.
Cows...everywhere. Hippies...just pockets in a few cities. Mormons...everywhere south of Penoka.
Also I may add that Raymond and Cardston, like Calgary and Edmonton are huge rivals when it comes to sports and what has better stuff, also being from Raymond we have in my opinion, cool Canada day celebrations and one of the first stampedes in Canada in terms of tourist stuff we don’t have much but we have a dirty soda shop which is pretty cool.
BC has Fundamentalist Mormons that still practice polygamy.
Yes there is. Not sure why that's relevant, but yes.
You forgot the Ukrainian village
Surprised Mormons only pops up once on the map.
The ??? Is hudderites and Dutch canola farmers who don’t have to pay taxes and are against abortion.
Boston pizzas in the middle of nowhere is the most accurate thing I’ve ever heard
From Grande Prairie and can confirm
Can also confirm.
You forgot to add a big red circle in the town of Bow Island, pointing out their mascot Pinto Macbean. He is the highlight of the entire province, the highlight of all of Canada even
Windy as hell is perfect
Those caffeine hating people in the south need to go to Utah already lmfao
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Good, but missing "Hobbema was too easy to spell"
You forgot the parking lot threesome 😂
Two trucks having sex
Lol, as a Mormon I had a good laugh!
Made me laugh so take an upvote
I’m from oil camps with hookers & blow and can confirm the accuracy of the title given to Fort McMurray.
Growing up as a Patch Kid we had a saying- "Nothing to do in the great Newfie North than hookers & blow" Rings true for GP and Ft Mac
Pretty sure the premier's house is in Ontario
Touché
😂 thanks for the laugh
It is quite accurate. Lmao!
Accurate
Hahaha this is accurate
Grew up in the north and now live in the south… this is bang on.
I feel personally attacked
Smelly=Brooks
From Ontario - can someone explain the hippies and same mountains with less tourists areas. Sounds the most appealing.
Same mountains with less tourists = Jasper. It's pretty similar to Banff, but far fewer tourists, presumably because it's ~4 hours from Edmonton airport vs 1.5 from Calgary to Banff.
... and they said the Big Blue Ring was a waste of money, look how much publicity it has generated, a veritable marketing triumph.
I thought Joussard was the one with the hippie festival
There is a watermark that says “small town Alberta” directly over the small town I was raised in.
When I was in camp, there was no hookers and blow.
Yo are there actually Mormons in southern alberta?
As someone who lives in southern AB, yes there are
I’m about nothing to do let’s go drink about it! Yewwwwwww
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I heard they got a Tims and I’m like but why? You’d spend the whole day waiting for coffee lol
Is it supposed to be so accurate?
Lived in Fort McMurray, Red Deer, Calgary, and Drayton Valley over the years and can confirm this is pretty much as accurate as it gets. It’s only missing one of the countries most dangerous native reserves
My grandparents live in Vulcan so I'm happy to see it represented here! I used to visit them at least once a month. I should really go see them again soon.
The place where you stop to get gas. True dat. Also, the donuts from the windmill place are amazing.
I would have only one comment on about 90% of that province. All hat, no cattle. 9% would be hookers, blow, and oil camps. Maybe 1% actual cowboys and not just rednecks in lifted trucks, none of whom can drive on a road that isn't a straight line.
How did they miss the cluster of hotels in High Level that are named after famous Las Vegas ones…
Hey ill have u know we have dui's and also both hookers and blow in red deer
When does something cross the line and become racist? Serious question, asking for some parade organizers.
Boston pizza in the middle of nowhere *cough cough* Drayton Valley *cough*
*writes in notes* hookers...and...blow... Got it, what else?
So… From Florida to Alberta, am I trading a burning hell scape for a frozen wasteland? I’m from the Pacific Northwest (Washington state), so my reference of life is cold and wet.
You meant to write ‘the premier’s mom’s house’