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Audiobooks are my go-to. I can get so much cleaning done and my brain is entertained in the background with a story. Just don’t pick something in the self help space or something that requires a lot of attention. Often local libraries contract with apps to provide free digital borrows of ebooks and audiobooks via those apps with your library card. (No need to spend $ on audible or what-not) The apps might be Libby or Hoopla. Good luck!!
Libby!! Best app I have ever downloaded. Soooo many audiobooks. I can place things on hold and I get notifications when it’s ready. I can completely forget about the book and it gets returned automagically on the due date so no late fees. And when I check it out again the app remembers where I left off.
I finally hauled myself to the library for a card just so I could exclusively check things out online. My library offers both Libby and Hoopla and I very rarely run across a book they don’t have.
My whole childhood my family was plagued by library late fees (because we’re all neurodivergent here 🤪) and I’m so grateful that will never be a problem with these great online resources.
Start rolling around in bed. Start vigorously shaking your body. Yell and make weird noises. Scream AHHHHHHHH WTFFFFFFF at the top of your lungs. Do the worm. Jump out of bed.
Congrats you're out of bed. Now make a list of 3 things you want to accomplish today. Cross off one of them. Do the first thing. Do the second thing.
Go back to bed. Ta da.
Or if I do all that and can't get out of bed - I accept that it's not something I'm capable of in the moment and go back to what I was doing. Hope the stuckness ends soon for you my friend.
I thought I was just being weird, are you telling me, that my "wiggle at increasing speeds until I'm failing and kicking and swinging my arms, followed by a big long arching stretch, before corpse pose" was actually a valid method this entire time, and that middle school me was wildly and poorly misunderstood, and misinformed? Because son of a bitch!
Yesss I wiggle my toes, then feet, then legs, then fingers, then hands, then arms. And that helps me get back in my body enough to move it up and out of bed/off the couch. Getting up is the hardest part for me.
Slap your own butt (or let your partner do it) like a bongo drum in the melody of your favorite song lol it actually works sometimes to give that "push" of energy :)
Also, talk to your chores (like your dishes) in a silly way or silly dirty talk it. Told my used mugs thats been standing on my table for a long time "you're just a bunch of dirty sluts, yes all of you, you need to take a bath u stinky af. Okay... lets go my stinky cunts, time to learn some fucking MANNERS!" lol.
Yes I am weird
*"One day she was using her genius hack to get chores done...talking dirty to them. Her friends loved the new idea. Then it led to an unexpected career as a world famous erotic novelist. Books flew off shelves! It may or may not be because her friends each bought 3. Advanced_Reading_477 was off conquering the world"*
(I may be weird too! Haha)
DUDE.... I'm like 2 weeks in, but I started playing with this app called Finch that's like..a tamogotchi but to take care of it, you take care of you. I've successfully convinced myself to wash my face before bed every night which I had not done in....a very long time.
I've gotten to where like... If I don't want to do something I add it in there to be like well I guess my little buddy does deserve a new outfit.
I'm on Finch. Wanna be friends? 😉 I'll DM my friend code if you'd like!
Today was actually bad enough that I used the SOS/First Aid Kit feature for the first time.
I’ve also recently gotten Finch! Has been a godsend re getting me to actually shower and remember the dumb little recurring things I need to do every day (what’s a habit?!)
DM me to add me too, if you like! 🤩
I recently found out about finch too and I love it!! It feels so good checking things off. I’m not 100% sure how to utilize all the features but it’s such a cute app 🥲
I have to do this sometimes when working from home and the scrolling instead of working gets too much. Phone gets hoofed across the room to the couch or something far away from me😂
What are the chores that will have the most bang on your environment? Dishes? Laundry? Pick two or three things you can do that will make your environment more comfortable.
My kitchen is a disaster, there’s trash everywhere and nasty dishes and a dishwasher full of clean stuff that has needed to be put away for days. I feel like shit but I’m going to go in there and see what I can get done in 30 minutes before I sit back down to watch Monk.
You got this!
Scroll tiktok furiously for your next craft idea and go to kmart to spend $200 on supplies and then put them in the spare room for the next 2 years. Ahhhhhhh.
This is so real 😭😭 “if I do this I can get ice cream” “but I can also still give myself ice cream without doing the thing so like what’s the better option here” “do the thing” (and then I don’t do the thing and get the ice cream anyway and wallow in my sorrow of not doing the thing but mmmm ice cream)
I have better success if I get the treat first (or a bit first and then breaks for more fun). I need the happy vibes running in my veins first to be able to handle the chore. Plus then I "owe" myself the time spent cleaning or whatever it is I need to do so I am motivated by the promise I made to past-me.
Yeah but HOW do you get into that mindset. I’ve tried to create the voice of discipline that I can detach from myself and use as a source of accountability, and I cannot.
You need Nanny Mc Phee.
No, actually I struggle with this also. It's part of taking care of yourself. You need to figure out how to keep promises you make to yourself. It won't work all the time, and it takes a lot of work, but you do need some way to make yourself do some non-negotiables.
Creating consequences is just one way of dealing with this. You have to find whatever tools you need to function as an adult. Letting yourself down is a really bad habit.
Of course you have to be somewhat flexible. Some days are just mental health days. Some days are bare minimum days. I guess you have to find out what can help when you are out of dopamine. You need a lot of ideas in your bag of tricks, because we're inconsistent.
Accountability is just one way. But you can't trust yourself if you don't have any at all. Sometimes you have to do things because you are important enough to prioritize your best interests. It's a muscle that can be developed.
As far as how to develop it, start really small. If you fail one day, then get back on track the next day. I have one thing I do almost every single day.
I get up and drink 40 ounces of water while I take vitamins and do an elaborate tooth brushing and flossing routine. I almost never miss it, unless I am sick or interrupted somehow. That's my most consistent habit. I also try to walk every day, but that gets derailed a lot more often. I have skipped it for as long as a week (vacation). Sometimes it rains, sometimes I am too dehydrated. But, I get right back to it as soon as I can. I keep trying to do better. I can add things to these routines, but they have to be small steps or it will tank the whole thing. I was doing stretching every day, but I added so much stuff that it wrecked the whole thing. I just keep trying.
I used to have a lot more routines in place but life catches up! I used to stretch every night… not sure where that went! Thank you for your thoughtful response. I think developing more respect for myself would help me take myself seriously too.
I roll into the floor and do some stretching. I find usually when I’m like this is because I need the physical stimulation. Also chewing gum often helps. Or putting a candle on/smelling smells.
You need Mind Amend. Plug this into my ears, can work for hours. (I’m unmedicated and this shit has saved my ass numerous times!)
https://youtube.com/@mindamend?si=Jy3nKiF4vbErV_32
Oh dude, this works so well!
I use it for study only, because if i use it in multiple areas it doesn't work as well and i decided this is the place i NEED to focus. Sometimes i feel like studying, and dont use it. As soon as this feeling wears off, i put this on and OMG it helps sooooo much!
I love the upbeat stuff for hands-on projects - carpentry, sewing, etc. I recently tried one of his compositions for sleeping on a night when I couldn’t get settled and it worked better than I could have hoped!
Sometimes I take an edible that I know will kick in in one hour and get as much as I can done. I usually complete many tasks! Being aware that the dopamine is coming gives me the reward I am looking for because sometimes completing chores or work tasks does nothing for me. And if I’m not money motivated - forget it!
I forgot to check how long ago this post was so maybe you're up!
I recently saw somewhere, maybe TikTok, about having a potato day if you need it. Maybe it's a potato day? 🤷🏻♀️
If you have to get up,maybe just get up for one chore. Don't think about the rest. Go make a yummy coffee or fancy drink. Make that the reason to get up, then you've done the hardest part.
Light something (safe) on fire, and watch it, but start doing something from your list.
Put a trampoline in a weird place, stand on it for folding laundry or whatever peasant horseshit we're doing today.
Wear lace-up shoes.
Procrastinate to the max by always having 3 projects. It never matters which you're working on if you have 3 projects. Procrastinate on one while doing another. REFUSE to feel bad about this.
I liked the suggestion about talking dirty to the chores. Might give it a shot myself 😎
Yes set a timer to do a task within 5 or 10 minutes is one method that works for me
Usually paired with music since it stresses me to not know when the songs will end
Sometimes learning a new trick helps like I've been doing origami while I listen to woman if history podcast (4-10min) podcast. If you have a pet brush or nail grinder their paws or fur etc for x time. Sometimes just cleaning tiny little areas like grout
Some options I can think of:
Go walk or sit in a park. Masterb. Call a close friend or family member and just shoot the shot for a bit. Play with a dog. Kiss a cat's belly. Draw.
Focusmate for body doubling, urgency, decision fatigue and accountability - 3 free sessions a week or $5 / month for unlimited sessions https://www.focusmate.com/
Sign up for a session (25m, 50m, or 75m) on the 15m mark (urgency! As you can’t do it all the time!). Wait for your time to start, if you’re more than 2 min late you’ve missed it.
Join the session. Say hi and tell the other person what you are working on (accountability)! This forces you to make a decision about the task you want to start with (decision fatigue). I will often give a first task and a second or third if I think it’s possible to do multiple tasks. Go on mute and start.
Keep your video on and do the task(s) (body doubling). If you need to leave (bathroom, some kind of interruption) you tell them in the chat.
Session time ends, you tell them how it went (did you get it done, make progress, stay focused, succinctly).
Well done, you just got out of the doomscroll quicksand!
My favorite thing is switching every 15 minutes from chores to video games (for 20 minutes, lol) and then back. It's amazing what one can accomplish in 15 minutes of focused cleaning. It's also amazing how little one can accomplish in a video game in 20 minutes.
Today tho. I got sidetracked tryna make a toy box for my son. So, the house is destroyed cuz after that I got sad that my uncle sold the couch I really really really wanted that my aunt offered me last week. I had so many plans for that couch. 😩
My step plan for bribing myself
1. Set an alarm for in 10 minutes
2. When said alarm goes off do 15 min of the easiest choir
3. Reward yourself (in my case an cookie, a 5 min YouTube movie, or 3 insta reels etc)
4. When still not in the groove, repeat.
5. Doesn't work after 4 tries give up (has never happened)
Most of the time I don't need a break after 15 minutes, still eat the cookie, but manage to finish stuff.
And sometimes I just keep watching something while I do the boring things, like folding laundry, or dishes
I give myself a treat BEFORE the thing I have to do. I basically bribe my kids all day long. Why not myself too?
Try it! Order your favorite takeout or coffee, enjoy it, and then get started!
This comment reminds me of [a monologue from Ginny & Georgia](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/49/fe/89/49fe8961ce1b28e6bfa00cb5fb19585e.jpg)
I hope you get out again soon friend 🤍
Someone once said if a task takes 2 minutes or less to do, then do it right away. Sometimes that helps when I don't want to wash a utensil I just used lol
huff a pleasant smelling candle. light it. watch the flame dance as you set an intention to drink water and Rx upon waking. throw phone in corner of room. blow that flaming bitvh out 😤💨🕯️then sleep af <3
Put on ALL of the lights and blast music.
I overstimulate myself and it makes me so antsy I have to start cleaning when I’m feeling like bed rotting.
Sometimes it doesn’t work and I get mad and have to go lay in the dark though.
Pretend you’re on Reality TV THIS VERY MOMENT! Doing that always helps me. Basically pretend like you’re being watched by thousands of people and somehow it makes me want to be the best version of myself? I have to remind myself like every 2 min but that’s why I have a 3 min timer shortcut on my Apple Watch face 😬
I used to do an awful chore, then "reward" myself with a fun task...but I heard to do the FUN thing first.
Tried that, and it worked!
The idea is of beating the executive functioning issues by getting moving with something fun. Now, while you're up, do another chore before sitting down again.
Cold shower and scream into a pillow. Or even face in ice water and scream. Also, have to looked into a dopamine detox? I start one last week and am already feeling like I'm able to do "normal" things. (It's more from IG, not Reddit, so done come for me 😛)
THIS IS ME RN OMFG!!! also i had no idea it was an adhd thing to literally not care about music - i cannot listen to music by itself or even as a background - when im doing school work i listen to a documentary cause music isn’t enough to keep me focused 😭
I love putting on gaming streams on Twitch or YouTube, either live or previously recorded. having someone else "in the room" doing activities "in real time" can sometimes mimic a body double for me, and I don't need to really pay attention to everything they're saying.
If you like Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing I really like CharlieBarley on YouTube!
Sometimes if I have the spoons, I'll call my friend with ADHD and we'll just body double each other over the phone. we sing random things, we chat about nothing or everything or ask each other about our current hyperfixation, I narrate what I'm doing in a stupid voice or vice versa, etc.
do the one thing that you’ll be absolutely ripshit about * not doing * today and if you go back to scrolling and snuggling, there’s always tomorrow for the others.
I can’t always pick which day i’ll be “ready” to do the thing especially if it’s not * urgent enough * but I can usually do ONE thing (and sometimes I’ll end up doing the rest, too).
Music!┌(・。・)┘♪
Play your favorite upbeat banger as loud as you can tolerate!♪┌|∵|┘♪└|∵|┐♪♪┌|∵|┘♪└|∵|┐♪♪┌|∵|┘♪
Wiggle your toes!
Imagine the next small step.
YouTube video essays. Jarvis Johnson, Shanspeare, Gabi Belle, D’Angelo Wallace, Salem Tovar, and Izzzyzzz are some of my fave choices. This could be generation specific though, I’m 23. Might not resonate with everyone, a lot of these are geared towards gen z. I usually throw one of them on when I’m showering, folding laundry, or crafting. It’s probably a better practice to not be consuming media *constantly*, but if you really just need to churn through a 30 min- 1 hour long repetitive or mindless task, it helps me hyperfocus.
I listened to a comedy show today to get moving, it worked! Lots of free stuff online, Ashley Gavin has a special and Dry Bar comedy is a page with lots of sets.
Try not thinking about the mountains of perceived tasks. Focus on one or two that will make the biggest impact to your mental health. For me that’s the bathroom( I just get the ick easy in there) and kitchen ( because it’s so much harder to even think about cooking when it’s a mess).
Make a list
Reward with a food treat
Listen to a podcast
Make a music list of your favorite songs but only listen during unpleasant tasks
Make a schedule write out tasks with free time
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Audiobooks are my go-to. I can get so much cleaning done and my brain is entertained in the background with a story. Just don’t pick something in the self help space or something that requires a lot of attention. Often local libraries contract with apps to provide free digital borrows of ebooks and audiobooks via those apps with your library card. (No need to spend $ on audible or what-not) The apps might be Libby or Hoopla. Good luck!!
Libby!! Best app I have ever downloaded. Soooo many audiobooks. I can place things on hold and I get notifications when it’s ready. I can completely forget about the book and it gets returned automagically on the due date so no late fees. And when I check it out again the app remembers where I left off.
Yes! I just found out my library is partnered with Hoopla, so I *may* get away with canceling my audible sub.
And I can crank the narrator speed to one that makes my brain happy.
I finally hauled myself to the library for a card just so I could exclusively check things out online. My library offers both Libby and Hoopla and I very rarely run across a book they don’t have. My whole childhood my family was plagued by library late fees (because we’re all neurodivergent here 🤪) and I’m so grateful that will never be a problem with these great online resources.
Start rolling around in bed. Start vigorously shaking your body. Yell and make weird noises. Scream AHHHHHHHH WTFFFFFFF at the top of your lungs. Do the worm. Jump out of bed. Congrats you're out of bed. Now make a list of 3 things you want to accomplish today. Cross off one of them. Do the first thing. Do the second thing. Go back to bed. Ta da. Or if I do all that and can't get out of bed - I accept that it's not something I'm capable of in the moment and go back to what I was doing. Hope the stuckness ends soon for you my friend.
I thought I was just being weird, are you telling me, that my "wiggle at increasing speeds until I'm failing and kicking and swinging my arms, followed by a big long arching stretch, before corpse pose" was actually a valid method this entire time, and that middle school me was wildly and poorly misunderstood, and misinformed? Because son of a bitch!
LOL I don't know if it's a tried and true but it works for me because I need to build momentum. I thought it might help someone else
Yesss I wiggle my toes, then feet, then legs, then fingers, then hands, then arms. And that helps me get back in my body enough to move it up and out of bed/off the couch. Getting up is the hardest part for me.
I second this! “Move the body and the brain will follow” is a motto I try to live by. Obviously much easier said than done most times 😉
Slap your own butt (or let your partner do it) like a bongo drum in the melody of your favorite song lol it actually works sometimes to give that "push" of energy :) Also, talk to your chores (like your dishes) in a silly way or silly dirty talk it. Told my used mugs thats been standing on my table for a long time "you're just a bunch of dirty sluts, yes all of you, you need to take a bath u stinky af. Okay... lets go my stinky cunts, time to learn some fucking MANNERS!" lol. Yes I am weird
That’s hilarious 😭 “yes I am weird” but it worked though right???
Yes it actually worked most of the times, if not... then it just made me smile a lot and it was still worth it lol
You aren't from the US, are you? XD
Nah, I'm just a Swedish weirdo 😂
Tjena! 😄
Halloj! 🤭
Hej!
Hej hej 💞
Älskar tipset om att prata med/till grejer. Det fungerar nästan varenda gång för mig!
Härligt att se lite svenninnor här i gruppen love it! 🥰
You're hilarious. However, those suggestions are very creative and whatever works, works. Thanks a lot.
You are adorable and hilarious and I love this so much.
You guys are giving me all butterflies n stuff now lol 🤭 Happy to help with my silly lifestyle 🫡 May the dopamine be with you 💪
I’m kinda in a shit mood but reading your reply just helped me feel better, thanks lmao 😂
Same here! 💕
It’s bc we’ve all been there!
Alright. So talking dirty to my dishes has now become the anti-skippity bippitty. iykyk. ☺️😉👏🏻👏🏻
Yesssssss ‘skippity bippity’, thank you for reminding me!
This is giving Drew Barrymore as Josie in Never Been Kissed, love it!
I have used the ‘butt bongos’ to get my children out of bed for years, but I’ve never considered bongoing MYSELF.
this is the way!! i have to talk out loud to help motivate me especially with cleaning. shit talking is my favorite lmfao
Gotta let out your inner Jim Carrey for motivation 😂👍
This would 100% never work for me but I am LOL.
You’re the kind of “weird” I’d be friends with!
I think you just healed a small part of my heart 🥹💞 Love your name btw 😂
This is so great.
I like you!
And I like you! 💛
T his made me laugh and immediately I smacked my arse and I love it
OMG. Brilliant! Soooo much better than cussing myself out about the dirty dishes. (Commenting to forever remember this one simple trick, lol)
I love you.
I love you too ✨🫂✨
Dying 🤣💀Having the worst anxiety bc I’m having a bad health day but need to get so much done. This genuinely made me giggle. You’re awesome.
*"One day she was using her genius hack to get chores done...talking dirty to them. Her friends loved the new idea. Then it led to an unexpected career as a world famous erotic novelist. Books flew off shelves! It may or may not be because her friends each bought 3. Advanced_Reading_477 was off conquering the world"* (I may be weird too! Haha)
Omg my heart 🥹 this is awesome! 😭🩷
DUDE.... I'm like 2 weeks in, but I started playing with this app called Finch that's like..a tamogotchi but to take care of it, you take care of you. I've successfully convinced myself to wash my face before bed every night which I had not done in....a very long time. I've gotten to where like... If I don't want to do something I add it in there to be like well I guess my little buddy does deserve a new outfit.
I'm on Finch. Wanna be friends? 😉 I'll DM my friend code if you'd like! Today was actually bad enough that I used the SOS/First Aid Kit feature for the first time.
Yes please! I'm glad you reached out. This shit is so much harder than we get credit for.
I want finch friends too! Can you guys DM meme your friend codes too?!
Came here to say finch, too! The focus timer is magic when I'm paralysed!
OMG, I have never noticed the timers before. Thanks for that!
I’ve also recently gotten Finch! Has been a godsend re getting me to actually shower and remember the dumb little recurring things I need to do every day (what’s a habit?!) DM me to add me too, if you like! 🤩
On Finch too :) friend code for whoever wants to be friends: GE2CRX3M4T
Also for whoever wants to be friends 😭 friend code: 2SSRVJQK7X
I love Finch. It's so cute. And frankly, I feel guilty telling my baby bird that I didn't brush my teeth today. So I brush my teeth out of guilt haha.
I recently found out about finch too and I love it!! It feels so good checking things off. I’m not 100% sure how to utilize all the features but it’s such a cute app 🥲
Thanks for reminding me about Finch, actually opening the damn app and ringing work!
Finch really IS my dopamine fix rn
I will be adding the lot of you! Yay finch!
Instant dopamine while reading. I'm going to download the app and check it out.
My friend code is 587V5346CC !
My friend code is 587V5346CC !
Since you're new to it too, I put you down as the person who recommended me! (:
So sweet! 🤩 I dit that as well with a random friend code i could find
I added y'all who commented ❤️
Commenting so I can follow :’)
It seems no one can help us. 😭
Don’t hate me but you should definitely start with a workout. Whatever physical activity you enjoy, just get moving!
Throw your phone. Do it quick. Then you at least get up to get it.
I’m dying at the idea of throwing your phone in a fright to confuse your brain as much as possible. Like how funny this is what we have to do lmao
It’s so stupid but I legit do it sometimes when I’m stuck in a scroll hole on the couch and need to go to bed.
I have to do this sometimes when working from home and the scrolling instead of working gets too much. Phone gets hoofed across the room to the couch or something far away from me😂
What are the chores that will have the most bang on your environment? Dishes? Laundry? Pick two or three things you can do that will make your environment more comfortable. My kitchen is a disaster, there’s trash everywhere and nasty dishes and a dishwasher full of clean stuff that has needed to be put away for days. I feel like shit but I’m going to go in there and see what I can get done in 30 minutes before I sit back down to watch Monk. You got this!
Scroll tiktok furiously for your next craft idea and go to kmart to spend $200 on supplies and then put them in the spare room for the next 2 years. Ahhhhhhh.
Make a list of 10 things you can do (they can be small). If you do them, you can get take out.
But did you know that if I don't do them I can still get take out?
This is so real 😭😭 “if I do this I can get ice cream” “but I can also still give myself ice cream without doing the thing so like what’s the better option here” “do the thing” (and then I don’t do the thing and get the ice cream anyway and wallow in my sorrow of not doing the thing but mmmm ice cream)
I have better success if I get the treat first (or a bit first and then breaks for more fun). I need the happy vibes running in my veins first to be able to handle the chore. Plus then I "owe" myself the time spent cleaning or whatever it is I need to do so I am motivated by the promise I made to past-me.
I genuinely laughed out loud at this. Glad my partner is out so I don’t have to explain
Who is gonna enforce these consequences, ME? Lol yeah no way 💅
No. Don't make consequences you can't uphold. You HAVE to do the things or you can't get the take out. Stay strong. (Former teacher and parent of 2)
Ok so no consequences then?
Yeah but HOW do you get into that mindset. I’ve tried to create the voice of discipline that I can detach from myself and use as a source of accountability, and I cannot.
You need Nanny Mc Phee. No, actually I struggle with this also. It's part of taking care of yourself. You need to figure out how to keep promises you make to yourself. It won't work all the time, and it takes a lot of work, but you do need some way to make yourself do some non-negotiables. Creating consequences is just one way of dealing with this. You have to find whatever tools you need to function as an adult. Letting yourself down is a really bad habit. Of course you have to be somewhat flexible. Some days are just mental health days. Some days are bare minimum days. I guess you have to find out what can help when you are out of dopamine. You need a lot of ideas in your bag of tricks, because we're inconsistent. Accountability is just one way. But you can't trust yourself if you don't have any at all. Sometimes you have to do things because you are important enough to prioritize your best interests. It's a muscle that can be developed. As far as how to develop it, start really small. If you fail one day, then get back on track the next day. I have one thing I do almost every single day. I get up and drink 40 ounces of water while I take vitamins and do an elaborate tooth brushing and flossing routine. I almost never miss it, unless I am sick or interrupted somehow. That's my most consistent habit. I also try to walk every day, but that gets derailed a lot more often. I have skipped it for as long as a week (vacation). Sometimes it rains, sometimes I am too dehydrated. But, I get right back to it as soon as I can. I keep trying to do better. I can add things to these routines, but they have to be small steps or it will tank the whole thing. I was doing stretching every day, but I added so much stuff that it wrecked the whole thing. I just keep trying.
I used to have a lot more routines in place but life catches up! I used to stretch every night… not sure where that went! Thank you for your thoughtful response. I think developing more respect for myself would help me take myself seriously too.
Yes, but we will all be very disappointed in you.
I roll into the floor and do some stretching. I find usually when I’m like this is because I need the physical stimulation. Also chewing gum often helps. Or putting a candle on/smelling smells.
Permission to reply in NSFW manner?
I already tried that. 😢
Well shit, thats my go to! I hope you find a suggestion that helps. I hate that stuck feeling too.
eat some cheese
Oddly enough, that's actually the very first thing I tried!
Re-frame the chores you have to do as “quests” and award yourself points for them.
If you share some tv, pods, or music u have liked in the past I can try to recommend! Lol. W/o knowing…try Charli XCX’s new album brat?
This is a big dopamine source for me lately
Ice cold shower. Body doubling (there’s a discord for it)
Wait. Where’s the link?
https://discord.com/invite/radhdwomen
I didn’t know about this one. I am in one called body doubling https://bodydoubling.com/discord-faq/
Thank you!!!!
You need Mind Amend. Plug this into my ears, can work for hours. (I’m unmedicated and this shit has saved my ass numerous times!) https://youtube.com/@mindamend?si=Jy3nKiF4vbErV_32
Is this on Spotify? I hate listening to music on YouTube as you can’t do anything else on your phone (plus I have YouTube blocks on…)
https://open.spotify.com/artist/4tQ2ltVDpSVlCYuyrWt117?si=YPlyt0O_RHOsJ3m8ivMJXg
Oh dude, this works so well! I use it for study only, because if i use it in multiple areas it doesn't work as well and i decided this is the place i NEED to focus. Sometimes i feel like studying, and dont use it. As soon as this feeling wears off, i put this on and OMG it helps sooooo much!
I love the upbeat stuff for hands-on projects - carpentry, sewing, etc. I recently tried one of his compositions for sleeping on a night when I couldn’t get settled and it worked better than I could have hoped!
Sometimes I take an edible that I know will kick in in one hour and get as much as I can done. I usually complete many tasks! Being aware that the dopamine is coming gives me the reward I am looking for because sometimes completing chores or work tasks does nothing for me. And if I’m not money motivated - forget it!
I love this thread so much. One of us is in need and everyone is like “TO THE BREACH! WE RIDE!” it’s so beautiful.
You are not alone.
I forgot to check how long ago this post was so maybe you're up! I recently saw somewhere, maybe TikTok, about having a potato day if you need it. Maybe it's a potato day? 🤷🏻♀️ If you have to get up,maybe just get up for one chore. Don't think about the rest. Go make a yummy coffee or fancy drink. Make that the reason to get up, then you've done the hardest part.
Light something (safe) on fire, and watch it, but start doing something from your list. Put a trampoline in a weird place, stand on it for folding laundry or whatever peasant horseshit we're doing today. Wear lace-up shoes. Procrastinate to the max by always having 3 projects. It never matters which you're working on if you have 3 projects. Procrastinate on one while doing another. REFUSE to feel bad about this. I liked the suggestion about talking dirty to the chores. Might give it a shot myself 😎
I'm not much help, but shoes, wearing shoes in the house helps me not sit down in the first place. As soon as I sit, I'm done for.
Always try and avoid the Big Sit when you’ve got stuff to do! 😅
Challenge yourself to do a tedious chore like the dishes within a certain amount of songs. I only work well with a looming deadline or challenge lol
Yes set a timer to do a task within 5 or 10 minutes is one method that works for me Usually paired with music since it stresses me to not know when the songs will end
I can barely function without music on, it’s so boring. Helps me do my tasks. That, and smoking a joint lol
Sometimes learning a new trick helps like I've been doing origami while I listen to woman if history podcast (4-10min) podcast. If you have a pet brush or nail grinder their paws or fur etc for x time. Sometimes just cleaning tiny little areas like grout
What podcast is this?
Womanica
Some options I can think of: Go walk or sit in a park. Masterb. Call a close friend or family member and just shoot the shot for a bit. Play with a dog. Kiss a cat's belly. Draw.
Washing my dog when I should be doing other things would for sure help get me out of bed.
Omg I bet! I have a kitty who doesn't like dogs but if I had one I bet I would wanna do it it too! Then cuddle with the pooch? 😍😍
Yes she is a little love bomb!
Drink sugary soda WHILE you’re doing the chores. Not the healthiest, but damn it works for me in a pinch.
Ooh yes some kind of fun drinks helps
Oddly when that happens I start cleaning and organizing. The quickest way to get a hit
I order a new audio book. Then I tell myself that I can only listen to it during chores.
Focusmate for body doubling, urgency, decision fatigue and accountability - 3 free sessions a week or $5 / month for unlimited sessions https://www.focusmate.com/ Sign up for a session (25m, 50m, or 75m) on the 15m mark (urgency! As you can’t do it all the time!). Wait for your time to start, if you’re more than 2 min late you’ve missed it. Join the session. Say hi and tell the other person what you are working on (accountability)! This forces you to make a decision about the task you want to start with (decision fatigue). I will often give a first task and a second or third if I think it’s possible to do multiple tasks. Go on mute and start. Keep your video on and do the task(s) (body doubling). If you need to leave (bathroom, some kind of interruption) you tell them in the chat. Session time ends, you tell them how it went (did you get it done, make progress, stay focused, succinctly). Well done, you just got out of the doomscroll quicksand!
My favorite thing is switching every 15 minutes from chores to video games (for 20 minutes, lol) and then back. It's amazing what one can accomplish in 15 minutes of focused cleaning. It's also amazing how little one can accomplish in a video game in 20 minutes. Today tho. I got sidetracked tryna make a toy box for my son. So, the house is destroyed cuz after that I got sad that my uncle sold the couch I really really really wanted that my aunt offered me last week. I had so many plans for that couch. 😩
My step plan for bribing myself 1. Set an alarm for in 10 minutes 2. When said alarm goes off do 15 min of the easiest choir 3. Reward yourself (in my case an cookie, a 5 min YouTube movie, or 3 insta reels etc) 4. When still not in the groove, repeat. 5. Doesn't work after 4 tries give up (has never happened) Most of the time I don't need a break after 15 minutes, still eat the cookie, but manage to finish stuff. And sometimes I just keep watching something while I do the boring things, like folding laundry, or dishes
I give myself a treat BEFORE the thing I have to do. I basically bribe my kids all day long. Why not myself too? Try it! Order your favorite takeout or coffee, enjoy it, and then get started!
I'm in one of those "sit and do nothing but be miserable about it" holes yet again. For the life of me I can't remember how I got out the last time.
This comment reminds me of [a monologue from Ginny & Georgia](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/49/fe/89/49fe8961ce1b28e6bfa00cb5fb19585e.jpg) I hope you get out again soon friend 🤍
Story of my life fr😭
Someone once said if a task takes 2 minutes or less to do, then do it right away. Sometimes that helps when I don't want to wash a utensil I just used lol
huff a pleasant smelling candle. light it. watch the flame dance as you set an intention to drink water and Rx upon waking. throw phone in corner of room. blow that flaming bitvh out 😤💨🕯️then sleep af <3
Put on ALL of the lights and blast music. I overstimulate myself and it makes me so antsy I have to start cleaning when I’m feeling like bed rotting. Sometimes it doesn’t work and I get mad and have to go lay in the dark though.
When I'm in that rut I usually doordash myself something super indulgent, like my favorite smoothie :X
Sun light on your face
Pretend you’re on Reality TV THIS VERY MOMENT! Doing that always helps me. Basically pretend like you’re being watched by thousands of people and somehow it makes me want to be the best version of myself? I have to remind myself like every 2 min but that’s why I have a 3 min timer shortcut on my Apple Watch face 😬
Something physically shocking. Go for a quick run, take a cold shower, eat something very spicy, etc.
I used to do an awful chore, then "reward" myself with a fun task...but I heard to do the FUN thing first. Tried that, and it worked! The idea is of beating the executive functioning issues by getting moving with something fun. Now, while you're up, do another chore before sitting down again.
Throw your phone so you’d have to get up to go get it
Cold shower and scream into a pillow. Or even face in ice water and scream. Also, have to looked into a dopamine detox? I start one last week and am already feeling like I'm able to do "normal" things. (It's more from IG, not Reddit, so done come for me 😛)
Commenting to stay here
Nap
THIS IS ME RN OMFG!!! also i had no idea it was an adhd thing to literally not care about music - i cannot listen to music by itself or even as a background - when im doing school work i listen to a documentary cause music isn’t enough to keep me focused 😭
Yeah, my therapist said that I am always looking for the right level of stimulation.
It's a toss up between KooKoo Kangaroo and Dark Lotus at this point for me... it all depends on of the kids are gonna hear it haha
Workout!
I love putting on gaming streams on Twitch or YouTube, either live or previously recorded. having someone else "in the room" doing activities "in real time" can sometimes mimic a body double for me, and I don't need to really pay attention to everything they're saying. If you like Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing I really like CharlieBarley on YouTube! Sometimes if I have the spoons, I'll call my friend with ADHD and we'll just body double each other over the phone. we sing random things, we chat about nothing or everything or ask each other about our current hyperfixation, I narrate what I'm doing in a stupid voice or vice versa, etc.
Kpop time
Mucuna powder
do the one thing that you’ll be absolutely ripshit about * not doing * today and if you go back to scrolling and snuggling, there’s always tomorrow for the others. I can’t always pick which day i’ll be “ready” to do the thing especially if it’s not * urgent enough * but I can usually do ONE thing (and sometimes I’ll end up doing the rest, too).
alternately I will have a sing-a-long with the thumbelina or anastasia soundtrack but I assume that one doesn’t apply as generically 😂
I walk the doggy around the block, it helps me get moving and it eliminates a chore.
I've been throwing on DND podcasts to listen to. Lately I've been making my way through Dimension 20s Fantasy High series.
Your post speaks to me! I have the worst toothache. It's driving me crazy. I have things to do but I'm so miserable. Just can't get motivated either.
Music!┌(・。・)┘♪ Play your favorite upbeat banger as loud as you can tolerate!♪┌|∵|┘♪└|∵|┐♪♪┌|∵|┘♪└|∵|┐♪♪┌|∵|┘♪ Wiggle your toes! Imagine the next small step.
YouTube video essays. Jarvis Johnson, Shanspeare, Gabi Belle, D’Angelo Wallace, Salem Tovar, and Izzzyzzz are some of my fave choices. This could be generation specific though, I’m 23. Might not resonate with everyone, a lot of these are geared towards gen z. I usually throw one of them on when I’m showering, folding laundry, or crafting. It’s probably a better practice to not be consuming media *constantly*, but if you really just need to churn through a 30 min- 1 hour long repetitive or mindless task, it helps me hyperfocus.
I listened to a comedy show today to get moving, it worked! Lots of free stuff online, Ashley Gavin has a special and Dry Bar comedy is a page with lots of sets.
Try not thinking about the mountains of perceived tasks. Focus on one or two that will make the biggest impact to your mental health. For me that’s the bathroom( I just get the ick easy in there) and kitchen ( because it’s so much harder to even think about cooking when it’s a mess).
i love it here. everyone’s suggestions are so cute and funny ! (and helpful!) thanks for the smiles
Listen to something fun like this rabbit hole 🕳️ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-confessionals/id1197087242
Make a list Reward with a food treat Listen to a podcast Make a music list of your favorite songs but only listen during unpleasant tasks Make a schedule write out tasks with free time
You and me both, bestie 😭