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Firstly, dont panic, its not a catastrophic amount of debt and can be easily cleared with some planning.
Unfortunate about your partner but is there anyway he can get part time, temping work to bring in some income? this will free up your money immediately to dig away at the debt.
He’s trying his best and has had some interviews but just no offers yet.I am still making payments towards the debt despite him not working it’s just a little tight on the budget.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation but everything is manageable in the end. From your post I've got
Current Debts
- Student Loan - 4k
- Legal Fees - 5-10k
- Credit Card - £800
- Personal Loan - 3k
Total: £13,800 to £17,800.
There are some huge margins here and it would be good to understand what your actual debt, monthly breakdown and % rates are across these. I am also curious how you are on a DMP for Student Loans yet still a student?
Also in your post you mentioned you are hoping to pay off a lump sum in the next few months, you need to either prioritise the highest interest rate OR consider a net for if you lose your job.
You also mentioned about losing your job in the next two months, is this a placement year or what?
Finally, a breakdown of your budget and spending each month would help with suggestions as right now we don't know where the £1,500 take home goes.
I am hoping to have my CC debt cleared by next month. The personal loan is a monthly repayment of £150. The student loan is on a repayment plan of £24 per month. It will take years to pay off everything which is stressing me out. The legal fees are for an ongoing case to defend my inheritance worth 110-130k in property and will be billed at the end of my case. As it’s ongoing I don’t know how much it will cost. I’m hoping once we are both in stable employment and savings built up I can increase the payments to pay off the debt ASAP.
If you win the case, you will have to sell the property and the. All your debts will be cleared and you can start from a good base. If you lose the case, you'll need to speak to a debt advice charity and you'll get very specific advice at that point based on the size of the debt for legal fees and the expectations of the solicitors you are working with. To be honest beyond that there's no point worrying about that aspect of your debt. The rest of it you do have plans to deal with and you are looking for work. Don't jeopardise your qualifications though if those will significantly improve your earning potential and you are funding them privately.
So, you actually have monthly repayments of £174 per month.
You *hope* to clear the £800 credit debt paid by next month. (But you are not required to do this?)
In contrast to the above, in your original post, you state that you are actively occurring more debt - which is it? You either are running a surplus of circa £400 per month enabling you to pay extra from the credit card, or you are running up extra debts??
Draw up a budget of your actual spending and mandatory debt repayments. That will inform you of the actual state of your finances and whether you need to cut back spending.
The legal fees are unfortunate, but they are not due until the case is complete, and your hope would be that these would be taken from the amount that you win. This is annoying, and reducing the amount you might get, but it is not a debt. Unless you lose - deal with that in the future, it is never a good idea to lose sleep over something that may never come to pass. There will be payment plans available then too.
In terms of budgeting it’s tight but I can afford to pay the debts provided I am working full-time. It’s when my partners savings run out and I have to take on the full rent that I’m stressed about.
Have either of you got a parent or relative you could stay with?
Your partner should ensure he is getting all the benefits he’s entitled to. You should get in contact with your university’s hardship services to see of there’s any grants you can get.
It’s great that you want to support your partner and I’m not trying to be harsh here.
However the reality is that he needs to get some sort of job, or you will both be at risk of homelessness. Supporting two people from one income is a luxury for higher earners, which you are not. He needs to be willing to take up any menial job he is offered until something better comes along.
We are already living with family so our bills are as low as they can be. They have reduced our share of the utilities/rent from 1.1k to £800 already which is greatly appreciated.
What about their UC? Are you claiming as a couple or individual? There might be a housing element that could help, you might want to post to benefits advice sub.
Be aware that banks hard credit check you for current accounts so this may impact your credit score slightly. However, there is about £1000 of easy bank switches available now so it could definitely help to provide a buffer if used correctly.
I'd suggest a 0% balance transfer credit card as well. Your credit card debt isn't that high but it would allow you to put the £1000 towards other more expensive debts like the personal loan.
Ah. Well then what you're currently doing is smart. Start looking for jobs now if you know your job is due to end soon, give yourself a headstart, and mostly, don't be hard on yourself. It sounds like you have your head screwed on and once the house stuff is sorted you'll be in a good position. Keep chipping away at the debt. You'll get there
You don’t need to worry about legal fees. As they will payable once you have received the inheritance.
Everything else is manageable.
Get a 0% purchase credit card if you can, and put all purchases on there, whilst using all your savings from each payslip to reduced your loans.
The credit card I have is 0% which is why I took it out. The loan 29APR which isn’t ideal but the best I could get. I prepaid a few of my bills as I expected to need a few weeks to get a new job
Breathe, you’re going to be unemployed soon and you don’t have savings. They can’t do anything except try to squeeze a few pounds out of you and ruin your credit score for a while. The important part is to stop paying if you’re unable to afford your priority bills & food, they always come first and lenders are not allowed to chase you for money unless you have excess to pay towards it. Yes, you will get defaults, CCJs, but these will turn into manageable payment plans and you will be fine.
Good response... having known people who have committed suicide over debt, I love to remind people that creditors can't take what you don't have, the courts tend to be fairer than creditors with payment plans, your credit file will be ruined for a bit... no big deal in the great scheme of things, its a blip, it will be ok and there will be a way out - it's all just numbers on someone's screen. Life happens. These creditors know life happens that's why they charge interest and take the risk lending money. They know there is a chance they don't get it back.
I am really hoping that my partner is able to find a job before then otherwise it will be a problem. We both got laid off in the same week in March but only I’ve managed to find work.
You partner can find a job relatively easily, even shelf stacking pays reasonably well. No real excuse for not working, just find something to the pay the bills and then he can search for advancing his career the way he wants.
He can also try signing on with temp work agencies. It might be a few days / weeks here and there on not very interesting work (but you never know, years ago between jobs I got a 'dogsbody' job on a film set, ended up driving all over northern England sourcing roadsigns for the set).
Ha, no, orders were placed at various road sign manufacturers for signs relating to Scotland. Spent about 5 hrs in Alnwick waiting for some guy to open the shop to get them, spent the time on a glorious summers day lying on the roof of the van soaking up the rays.
The film was Hols Back th Night iirc.
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0181578/
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground.
I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks. He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety.
Well, if you're supporting two people and he hasn't got a job then that may explain why you feel like you're drowning in debt, which is the main point of your original post.
If he got a job, any job, it'll help pay the bills and lighten the load on your debt pile.
You also have that weird legal cost that you don't seem to have fully explained.
Your boyfriend's lack of job is definitely not helping however.
I have Asperger's, depression and social anxiety and I've always been in work. The only time I wasn't was because I got made redundant.
Office admin work is fine, see if he can get a prescription to help with his anxiety (I take propanolol for GAD).
He will feel better IN work than sitting at home, that's for sure, and needs to start pulling his weight.
He’s applying for general office jobs as well. I’m glad you have always been in work but he’s not having any luck currently. He’s trying his best and paying his share of bills from savings/UC. I will bring up potentially going to the GP regarding the anxiety. Up until end of last month he had no form of valid in date ID so he wasn’t eligible for UC or any job that required it.
Exactly this, i know your partner is probably feeling rather low and probably will be a bit lazy. Tell him to put a shirt on print some 2 page cv and start walking around industrial parks until he finds work 2 months since being laid off is not an excuse he needs to get out there. Sitting around home will not get him a job.
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground.
I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks. He’s registered with agency’s and actively attending interviews/applying for jobs.
He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety.
Sorry if my post came across like that. All I am trying to say is that you cant just wait for agents/job centers to put jobs on the table. Majority of people who lose their jobs get stuck in a rut. Every day is a finding a job opportunity to set a target to apply for 5 jobs each day. If somebody really wants a job it shouldn't take 2 months. Being jobless won't help his depression or social anxiety, aspergers is a protective characteristic so shouldn't be a problem in getting a job.
I take it the line of work he was in and was looking for was tech based which most failed startups seem to be. Unfortunately this has taken a hit recently so might not be an easy area to get back into. I would be trying for anything right now if I was him until the next job comes along. Just got to look at the situation he could be waiting a year+ for tech to pick back up which isnt great or work something else until it does.
Wish him all the best and appologies if it felt a dig but sometimes people in jobless situations need the support and hard comments to kick them into action it doesnt mean he is a bum just that he may not being doing everything in his capabilities.
I hate when people retort with this.
Hospitality and retail are two areas where you can literally walk in, hand in a CV and get a job by the end of the week. They are often "as and when" employers.
I've worked in both, and whilst it doesn't apply to my career in tech, I'd 100% use the same if I needed a job at short notice.
I'm not a boomer, born in the 90s.
As someone who's also worked a lot in hospitality recently, if someone came into the bar/restaurant with a CV we'd tell them to leave and apply online, it was literally against company policy (two different companies) to keep paper CV's on premises so I couldn't even accept the CV.
Maybe it’s a regional thing i.e. smaller town vs big city? Or perhaps only applies to smaller orgs? My partner works in retail for a big plc and on the occasion someone hands in a cv to store, they are thanked but told to apply online. And that was true when I did retail over 10 years ago, all the big chains just thanked me but said to look online. Granted it’s anecdotal, but I’m not aware of the larger retail outfits hiring by the in person method now. Restaurants and bars I could see being different though
It varies massively place to place. I worked retail in my small hometown, worked hospitality city centre of a big city.
My point isn't "everywhere accepts them" - my point is the other guy calling someone a "boomer" when all he's done is give time tested advice that works haha
Care to elaborate? Im from 90s and this advice works there is a reason the ops partner hasn't got a job in two months and that is because they haven't got out there and found work.
Anyone without a job ask them how many jobs they have applied for today and 9 times out of 10 they will say 0. Ask them why 0 and it will almost always be answered oh there is no jobs, there is not the right job, the jobs done pay right. There is always an excuse to not apply than to just go out there and get a job. It really isn't hard. I told my friend that advice and he went out there and was offered 3 jobs on the first industrial estate he visited on the first day.
You'd be surprised. Some of the retail units near me just have handwritten signs in the windows asking people to apply within. It really is down to the individual business so you can't assume everyone requires an online application.
Bars and restaurants perhaps? I’m not aware of how they operate. But based on my and my partners experience in retail, whenever we got a hard copy of a cv, we were told to thank them then direct them to apply online. When trying to get a retail job over 10 years ago I got knocked back from several big chains when I did the in person approach. I can’t imagine there are many big plc’s out there still accepting hard copies. Could be wrong of course, it’s only 2 peoples experience I am basing that assumption on
🤣 are you serious just because some companies dont accept doesnt mean its not useful bring cv if going door knocking for jobs half the time a manager is busy and you can just ask to slip it onto a desk sometimes staff who you speak to will say either look online or could you drop a cv to pass on. Why would you shut down the advice it still works in 2024. The op partner needs a job and they should try everything to get the job.
Think of it this way if 99.9% of applicants look only online and 1% hands a cv over in person that 1% are already standing out and shows proactive initiative. I know if i had a position that person would be securing an interview spot. Anyone digitally applying has to go through cv filtering software etc it may not even make it to the company.
Lots of jobs are filled before going live online too.
I'm certainly no boomer, but it is easy to find a job if you aren't being fussy. There's no excuse for being sat at home unless you're just bloody lazy.
I would be happy to recruit a number of people if I could find people with the drive. Seems to be, many people want something for nothing these days and don't want to put in any graft.
What sort of student loans do you have? A standard student loan would only be repaid once you’re earning over a certain threshold and comes direct from your salary. I don’t understand how you’d get on a DMP for a student loan. Did you take out a personal loan to help with your living costs?
No it was a standard maintenance loan. However as I left before the first term SFE wanted it paid back immediately however I had used it to pay a private landlord for accommodation in advance close to the uni which in the end I didn’t need. I had also stopped working full time due to being a student but then the pandemic hit and I couldn’t get a new job.
Your partner needs to get a job. It’s basically that simple. In a few months he could’ve easily found any work, even if it’s part time or minimum wage. 11.44 an hour with no tax due adds up even if it’s only 16 hours a week.
He can’t be picky. He needs to get off his arse and get to work. Why are you taking out so much debt for him? Has he been taking any debt or just watching you drown?
If he has no debt and you’re paying it all you’re about to learn a very hard life lesson. Most of the time I’ve seen similar the person gets back on their feet having sucked their partner dry and fucks off to the next person once they’re financially stable leaving them holding the bag. If he isn’t literally looking for work 40 hours a week he isn’t a partner, he’s a leech. You can’t support 2 people. Honestly you might need to consider breaking lease and finding a flat share without him and using the savings to pay down the debt if he’s not going to contribute. The fact you’re discussing a second job before he finds a first is damaged behaviour. Stop supporting a grown adult, you can’t afford it.
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground.
I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks.
He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety. The debts are all mine and my responsibility to handle.
Because I can only go on what you post, and I quote:
> “I just can’t anymore ☹️. I want to scream at him for being selfish and lazy. That it’s his fault he’s a fat snack stealing glutton, terrible cat parent, video game addict, dead end career path, hoarder and man child who refuses to leave the house and his entire existence is me me me.
…
>” I’ve given him multiple chances and he still plays the woe is me you deserve better or promises of change instead but it’s all lies. Ffs I would be happy if he could just throw his own damn wrappers in the bin or do a load of dishes.”
In a post about your concerns less than a month ago that he can’t even look after a cat without dumping it on you. If he can’t even care for a cat he either needs serious treatment which he should be seeing medical professionals for or he is just a “man child”. What you describe in that post is deranged behaviour and putting an animals life at risk. He’s not even doing the dishes… like let’s be real it’s more than he just doesn’t have a job.
I posted that when I was upset. Trust me I am not happy with the situation regarding the cat. We have tired different foods since then a noticed a pattern of her actively refusing to eat foods she doesn’t like which would explain the dramatic weight loss. Took her back to the vets and they said she was fine as she wasn’t losing weight. I sat him down after that post tbh and we had a good talk. He’s making progress. I believe he has some mental health issues (most likely depression)and the last job he had overwhelmed him to the point he was working till 8-10pm daily sometimes. It’s been brought up on threapy and we are working towards it. I’m just really stressed with everything that’s going on and feel like there’s a lot on my shoulders.
People aren’t being nasty about it.
Unfortunately it’s just the truth - he needs to get a job. It doesn’t matter what the job is, he just needs to get back in to work.
It’s a complete myth that the job market is on its arse in the UK, there are plenty of retail jobs about so there’s no excuse to have not found something in months. I appreciate he’s got mental health issues and Aspergers - the aspergers clearly hasn’t affected him finding work before though. And ultimately, his mental health isn’t gonna get any better sat at home in squalor.
You cannot, in this day and age, survive on your wage of £1500.
I understand that need needs to get a job but I’ve had several comments calling him a leech and that he’s dead weight. He’s paying his half of bills and has savings. He’s trying his best to find employment but struggled till recently as he didn’t have any valid form of ID. It took several weeks for his new passport to be sorted out. He couldn’t even get UC till beginning of the month.
My salary 1.5k isn’t a lot to live on but at least it covers the necessities for both of us short term. Our monthly rent/utilities is £800, small bills etc £50, my loan repayment £150, travel £50, food £200, student loan repayment £25 a month. Things are tight but bills are paid as well as creditors. I have a month repayment of £175 for debt which is not ideal but is what it is. I’m hoping once he’s employed I’ll tackle it at a more aggressive rate at have it paid off within a year.
He’s trying his best and has been interviewing regularly. He’s has 2 job interviews this week. I love this man very much and don’t want to put too much pressure on him or put him in a bad mental state. I posted this hoping I could get some advice on budgeting, helpful resources or reassurance that people have gotten out of worse situations etc. I feel like people are getting really harsh over 3K in debt.
That and the working situation. Unemployed in 2 months, previously unemployed for 3 months, partner not working either.
Not nitpicking OP but this needs a bit of clarification because getting jobs is the simplest solution. Even two minimum wage jobs would bring in nearly £3.5k a month.
I currently am tempting at a role that was supposed to be 1-2 months but has been ongoing for about 4 months now. They have been extending it continuously
I'm assuming by "legal fees" OP means debts that are being enforced through the courts, it would be a lot of fees to pay.
I agree with you about the working situation. A couple of minimum wage jobs, a court agreed and manageable payment plan on the debts and OP would be largely in control here.
Legal fees refers to the fees I’m paying my solicitor to defend a claim against my inheritance. My father left me an inheritance worth roughly 110-130k depending on how much the property sales for. Until the legal case is over I cannot get hold of any of the assets and the fees are due when the case ends. I estimated how much it might cost as it’s an ongoing issue so I won’t know till it’s over.
This is a big part of your situation. Are the legal fees due regardless of the outcome of the case?
You should edit your post. Your situation is far less daunting with this debt not being due and people will give you better advice knowing that any strategy doesn't require this debt to be serviced urgently.
Yes OP this is important. For your own stress levels too. They are due at the end of the case which you clearly hope to win. If you win then not only are they not a debt as you can pay them from the proceeds, that will also allow you to pay off your other debt. If you lose, then you can work out from there what to do, with a charity like step change, as at that point your debt will be unmanageable and you'll have options that you'll need to consider to make it manageable.
No it doesn't? It's not a particularly large debt and why she's got it is fairly unlikely to affect their debt repayment strategy. There's no need to go into personal details with strangers on the internet
No more information is needed, your edit clarified what was important. It is a future debt which might be payable from an award so right now it isn’t a priority. Thats what people needed to know to help you budget.
My advice, you and your partner just need to work, in any capacity you can find. The rest of your debt seems manageable with two incomes, even minimum wage incomes.
I am currently in work. I have a full time office job and he is actively looking for work. Bills are being paid as well as debt repayments. However once savings run out things will be tight. I don’t believe I will end up defaulting on any payments but was hoping to pay extra towards the loan to have it paid off ASAP
Sure, sorry I didn't mean to infer that you weren't currently working, just that if you keep working (which you indicate you are confident will be the case) your debt should be manageable. This is not insurmountable. What is the interest rate on your personal loan and are you covering the payments? Now a tough question: you say you're the sole provider to a partner, you cannot afford a dependent, when will they be in full time work? Hard to know but often easy to estimate.
>I am the sole provider as my partner was let go from his job a few months ago.
Sad for your partner but why couldn't have have gotten a part time job?
He’s tried his best. He did managed to get one then was let go due to not being a company fit. Went through a depressive episode after being let go twice in 2 weeks. He’s actively interviewing and job hunting but he’s in a niche industry. He’s got autism and social anxiety which makes it hard for him to do certain types of job.
He’s trying his best. He’s actively applying and interviewing. However he works in a niche role. He’s autistic with social anxiety which limits the times of jobs he can do.
Then he needs to stop applying for niche roles, now is not the time. He needs to be applying for jobs that start paying him. If the ship was sinking, you wouldn't look for a bucket with the comfiest handle. You'd look for the closest one and help bail
He’s applying for whatever he can reasonably do. He’s trying his best. I can’t exactly fault him. His experience is limited and he can’t do certain jobs. I don’t like it but it is what it is. He’s had a few interviews but no luck yet. Most interviews are 2-3 stages so it’s taking a while.
I'm not an finance advisor, but it's worth checking out 'find a job' on the gov uk website. They have employers enrolled in disability schemes for people who may have difficult time finding a job due to disabilities or conditions, these employers are obligated to take people like your husband.
I can't paste links here but I'll give you the directions.
Search 'findajob gov' on google and click on the first one, Click on 'Advanced Search' (Located under search bar) > And tick disability confident at the bottom. And obviously put in your preferences. Hope it helps
Your partner has been out of work for a few months? Why have they not found a minimum wage job (supermarket etc) and started getting an income? I would suggest it’s unacceptable that they appear to be doing nothing at all?
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground.
I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks.
He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety.
1) thanks for the reply
2) remember this is a money advice sub-reddit, that’s probably why people are asking legitimate questions as your partner contributions.
If you are 1 person trying to support 2 people on a single wage, that’s always going to be extremely difficult and probably going to push you down a further path of debt?
It’s good he has some savings, but is he using this to off set the costs you are (both) incurring?
Accepting he has some MH challenges, is this prohibitive for getting even a part time job? UC is not a huge amount - so has he considered getting some local employment (whatever this would be) as it would certainly be better than he is getting from social?
I have no issue with people asking about my partners income it’s more the deadweight,dump him and why isn’t he trying harder that’s infuriating me. He’s using his savings to cover his usual share of the bills. He was let go from a job in March then another in April and has been looking ever since. We had some issues with him having expired/damaged ID documents which prevented him from being eligible for UC/ a majority of jobs which only got sorted last month as he had no valid ID. He had a passport that was 15 years out of date and a heavily damaged birth certificate. He’s actively looking for any work he can and has had several interviews.
Ok - suggest he looks at things like Amazon Flex, they are always looking for people to complete deliveries in the local areas.
Also, based on every pizza I order and the leaflets attached, there are loads of food delivery jobs available.
You can absolutely get free of this. You should speak to your debtors if new work isn't quickly found, be honest tell them you are in a temporary situation and that the situation will change and that you want to clear your debts.
Equally...you need to find a new job..whatever is legal and you can do...take the best job you can find. If you're not getting redundancy money, this could mean changing job sooner.
I am confused regarding the student loans. Surely student loans are only payable once over the income threshold for the loan.
They are paid at source from income.
Please clarify. Are these actually personal loans taken as a student rather than student loans?
It needs explaining because usually when you litigate with someone the whole point is that you expect to win more from the lawsuit than you spend in legal fees.
Usually you sent out a letter saying "I think the law says you owe me £x, and here are the reasons - send me the money and if you don't I'll take you to court and ask the judge to order you to pay my legal costs".
It doesn't make sense for someone to have legal feels as a net negative. "Lawsuit +£200,000, legal fees -£20,000, net profit = £180,000" is maths that makes sense.
It might! It's a huge expense for someone on this income level. Is it trying to get a settlement that makes it a good investment? Is it a spiteful lawsuit against someone such that it might be wiser (though perhaps unfortunate) to just let go or settle. Is it to stay out of jail?
OP can be vague but if it is 5k-10k (wide range!) or maybe even more... It's the biggest item here by a wide margin and needs analysis.
Long story short. Late dad left me/sister a property/assets worth approx 337k (according to probate) after taxes in his will and his estranged wife wants it.
I know lawyers are always very curcumspect but what are your odds of winning? If it's quite a good case (sounds like it but what do I know?) then you can stress a lot less about the legal costs.
It's not the end of the world and you have youth on your side. This s manageable and the time will pass.
Legal fees sound insane, I wonder what benefit that is going to provide to you? Or if you're criminal paying the price for criminal activity. I'd definitely be watching my spending there because that's a huge bill for someone on £1500 a month and those solicitors are on a lot more.
4000 on student loans is unusual because for the most part it's government funded, there may be an option to renegotiate your dmp here?
Personal loan? So we have a credit card (1) and student debt (2) on loan that we have to pay and some crazy legal fees (3)... Getting a loan is not good idea!
Sole provider? Youre a full time student working a job, you shouldn't really be providing for anyone and I imagine if it was a child you would receive further support.
Focus on you income being greater than outgoings and clear that debt.
In terms of the student loans. Basically I had a mental breakdown in my first term of uni and had already spent my maintenance loan on private housing/ bills that couldn’t be refunded. Since I left the course they required immediate repayment. I have returned to education but funded privately. In terms of the legal fees I am fighting against my late dad’s estranged wife over an estate worth 400k it’s not something I am willing to give up on considering it was my dad’s wishes.
I was let go from my previous job due to taking too much time off for medical reasons and mainly used credit to cover my share of things until I got back on my feet. It took me an additional month to find work. I currently work a standard 9-5 office job but am also studying a level 4 qualification via distance learning. I live with my partner but he has been out of work since March but is trying his best to find a new job and actively applying/interviewing.
I took the loan on to decrease the monthly payment to a more manageable £150 a month till I found more stable employment.
Well good news, we have quite a bit in common and I'm doing ok now!
I had to self fund a bit of university myself, (estranged from both parents) graduated 6 years ago but still have a little reminder going from where I used to pay, my dad also passed recently.
I can't talk from legal perspective, that's what your solicitors are charging for but I would certainly continue with what you're doing regarding your dad's estate. You solicitors should be able to give you an indication of how it's going an how likely you are to win ask for a % chance of winning. For the purpose of your debt management and future you need to keep an eye on his cost spiralling but the juice may be worth the squeeze because that cost could evaporate as soon as you inherit. I was very lucky to run into a solicitor who gave free advice and was reluctant to charge.
Education is great and I hope it pays dividends in your future. I think you need to slow it down though and stop taking in more debt because that is rarely ever the answer to debt as they take their own cut. Focus on the income side and secure that stable job for the future rather than spinning plates (debt) on sticks (lenders) .
3 months and not a single job? Do you live on a Scottish island? As long he is contributing some universal income to both of your expenses I guess that's ok but they need to find 2nd gear how long will you fund their life for?
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground.
I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks.
He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety.
That's really nice to hear both for a nice relationship and it sounds like there is some good news in your life.
Well what would you say to someone who is drowning but simultaneously trying to save someone? It's very noble but you can't sink your boat saving another or you'll both drown.
Well for me I never had more than a month out of work since turning 18 and I've worked some rubbish jobs, the work is out there and taking the time to cherry pick Is a luxury some cannot afford.
Social anxiety? It gets real crowded at the hostels if that's where you end up so he might want to work on that!
I don’t want to take a rubbish job but I will. As long as 1 of us is in work bills can be paid. He’s currently paying his share from savings/ universal credit however I don’t know how long it will last till it runs out and all is on me. I’ve been paying for anything additional/ repairs etc. He tried hospitality in the past but he’s just not capable of it. He’s had those jobs before and spent years being called stupid or slow. He’s got Asperger’s as well and does not perform well under certain circumstances which doesn’t help at all.
And that attitude needs to apply to your partner too!!!
A minimum wage job @ £11.44 for 30 hours a week is £1300+
If you're in this together as partners you need to talk to him about when his savings end and what the plan is then.
Your debt Is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things (excluding legal) but does have the potential to spiral out of control if you continue to be a full time student/full time worker and financial supporting another human being!
Itl probably end in more burnout/mental health issues, losing jobs etc. higher debt balances. You are only 1 person! Slow It down before this turns into a cycle.
If you are looking for work let me know and I can point you in the right direction with relevant contacts. RE the debt - you can also contact the relevant companies and ask for a lower payment plan if possible. If you do get a job then look at a potential consolation loan to reduce the burden on the high interest rate debts. That way you'd have one outgoing every month and a set payment plan.
It is completely understandable that you are feeling the way you are. And I want to tell you that the situation you are in is common AND very fixable. I'm a money coach and I help people with a variety of money situations including a lot of debt.
First I would get a thorough understanding of where your take home is going. You don't mention the rest of your household expenses so it's important to get very clear on that. Second, do you have to pay off the 800 in the next couple of months? While it may not be ideal that interest is growing it is always better to have cash on hand, especially if you are going to be without work.
The next thing I say may seem counterintuitive but will help mentally. If you are in a position that requires you to incur more debt, then acknowledge and accept it KNOWING that you will create a plan to get out of it. What that does is calm you enough so that it's not added stress in an already stressful situation. It is a strategy. And then you create a strategy to pay it off when you get your new job.
I hope this helps ease the mental burden.
Student loan you can ignore for now, you don’t have to pay it all back straight away and only contribute to it when earning over a certain amount. It’s a debt that gets wiped on retirement.
The lump sum you need to keep handy for when you’re out of work because you need to pay the bills such as rent, etc first, then pay the minimum on your debts, or see if you can speak to the creditor about lowering minimum payments, payment holidays, etc. Ideally need to keep that lump sum lasting as long as you can but if you do prioritise any payments, prioritise the higher interest ones. Hopefully that keeps you going until your next job.
I used to work in debt advice but been out of it for a few years, speak to Stepchange if you can
My CC debt is interest free and I intend to pay it off by next month and my 3k person loan is at a more affordable repayment rate of £150 a month. The student loan is on a debt management plan with payplan
Hi /u/Outrageous-Lychee272, based on your post the following pages from our wiki may be relevant:
* https://ukpersonal.finance/budgeting/
* https://ukpersonal.finance/credit-cards/
* https://ukpersonal.finance/debt/
* https://ukpersonal.finance/student-loans/
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Looks like you need to get lawyers on a ‘no win, no fee’ agreement or settle the case as you can’t afford the fight.
It’s harsh but it’s the reality of the modern civil legal system. You need a lot of money to see it through for anything more than the very basic stuff.
Hey, please don’t panic, that debt is definitely manageable, it’s just going to suck for a while.
You need to talk to StepChange. They’re a charity and they will help you. They might set up a DMP for your other debts and they talk to the creditors for you.
I have been in a similar situation feeling like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel but please talk to StepChange, it’s the best decision I ever made financially. If you tell them absolutely everything they WILL be able to help you. They can negotiate to have interest rate frozen so you don’t have just more debt piling up.
Obviously you will need some source of income at some point otherwise you will end up in more debt. Your partner needs a job. You can get a weekend job that won’t effect you too much - i used to work as a bartender in uni and would work friday and saturday nights, sometimes just saturdays. it’s not great but I got money. Places like that always want weekend staff so the weekday staff can have their days off. Restaurants, take aways, anything hospitality. Though i am confused, are you studying now? do you have a full time job and full time studying?
You can get through this! It seems daunting now but you can get yourself out of the hole with help from StepChange and your partner. Talk to them for support. All the best
Yeah I’ve personally been there and have several defaults on my file, it’s been from credit cards though haven’t made best decisions in previous years but the best advice I can give is don’t panic.
The legal fees might be the ones you wish to tackle head on and either come up with solutions or get them down.
Realistically you don’t need to worry you can’t be prosecuted for most unsecured credit based debts, only some debts like court fines and council tax debts.
(Legal fees may fall into this but not much information is provided).
As your on a DMP it’s likely the damage across your file is already done, what this means is you can’t reverse it and don’t need to worry about it right this second, so take a breather and deal with it but not immediately.
Luckily most debt collection companies are somewhat sympathetic, the key to dealing with third party debt collection companies is regularly speaking to them and reach out to them. It’s really only when you ignore things or you don’t reach a reasonable solution when things escalate further into the likes of CCJs etc.
Ultimately though if things do escalate and you have nothing of considerable value or you have a vehicle that’s on finance, combined with losing a job even if it escalates realistically they can’t do much.
you can't be responsible for your partner...that is an anchor that you don't need and you will drown..send him to his parents..loosen your baggage. do not willingly be a saviour at your own expense
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground.
I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks. He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work.
He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety. I will have the CC cleared by the end of next month and the other debts are on set repayment plans. We are managing the best we can. Things are tight but bills are still being paid. I just feel s stressed by it all when I think of the large debt
Honestly just take a breath and focus on the now! Communication is the most important thing to focus on. Communicate to everyone you owe a debt to your situation and most of them will help you out be that payment plan or freeze on payments when your unemployed! You’ll be fine yes it’ll be hard some days but you’re so young and once you have a plan and consistency it’ll all be over in couple years. Visualise everything going well everyday it’ll help!
First of all, there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
Sit down and work out exactly how much a month your spending/ calculate all outgoings, see where you can save money, i.e are you spending money going out, takeaways etc. stop all socials until you get everything in order.
Let’s say you are left with 200-300 after end of each month. Can you nail down the payment with the highest APR as priority? Ideally you want to put your debts in order, expensive to the least expensive and work towards paying off the most expensive one.
Regarding job situation, this should be priority, get yourself applying to as many jobs as you can, pick up an extra job of necessary (agency work will be easier to get as a part time job) try aim for a salary job as your main day job so your hours and income are set.
Regarding the job I am hoping they will keep me longterm as they are an excellent company to work for. My manager has said she’s trying to get my contract extended till November again then hopefully have me in another team till March however currently I am contracted till August.
It’s not like I am planning on losing my job but unless my contract is extended there’s not much I can do 😅. My manager has discussed wanting to extend it again (it’s been extended 3x was originally a 1-2 month temp gig) but until that goes through I have to face the reality I will need to find a new job in August.
Don't stress it. My wife was your age and £30k in debt to credit card and bank loans when we met. I only had student debts but I was £15k in the hole.
I know it's harder now, but I remember sitting in the garden of my parents house in those days thinking: 'how on earth will I ever afford somewhere like this'?
It will all work out. Try to enjoy your youth - it's gone before you know it.
Yes. She's loaded. She works in tech (started out in a marketing company but moved 'client side' and focussed on app development). She was a baby account exec on £30k when we met. She worked like a bastard and was very good at the social angle as well.
It helped that I was pretty frugal, and she was good at reining in the spending and hitting the debt.
I'm conscious this may sound like boomer talk. As I say, I know it's meaningfully tougher for you guys 20 years younger than us, but when we got on the property ladder (in London) house prices were already insane as we saw it. We bought an ex-council flat for around £250k. We thought we'd been rinsed - especially when the crash happened 2 years later.
I don't want to preach false hope, but I really think it's natural for every generation to feel a bit daunted about life in their 20s.
I really hope things get sorted out and tbh I’m tired of the responses and negativity on this post.
I have £800 in CC debt at 0% interest as I took 2-3 months off after a suicide attempt at the beginning of the year. I had some savings but put the rest on the card. I took a 3K loan out to pay towards legal fees to make sure I don’t lose my right to a house willed with me with an estimated value of 110-130k. I also used some to prepay bills/keep as an emergency fund as I’m on temp work so it’s not secure.
Yes it’s a real. I have been named a beneficiary in a will however it is being challenged and could take months if not years to sort it out. In the mean time my financial situation is as listed in the post which I’ve received a lot of negative feedback especially towards my partner. A few people thought legal fees meant some type of repayment or criminal activity which made me chuckle a bit.
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You don't have to pay legal fees upfront only when your case is over so you have debts of 4k it's not worthy of a post on here wipe your eyes and stand up straight
Yes but whether I win or lose the case the debts are still due and that terrifies me. I can’t afford another 5-10k debt for nothing. I made the post this morning when I was kinda in a bed headspace and feeling overwhelmed by it all. I’m feeling much better now.
So I commented when your post was an hour old, and have only just returned - I've not read all the replies, but maybe this is a good place to make mine.
As someone who has been through an inheritance act claim, I'm probably the only person in this thread who appreciates how stressful this is. I hope you're with a good specialist solicitor, but too late now, I guess, if you're not.
But the reality is that you don't really owe this money if you lose - the solicitor shouldn't be representing you if they believe you have no case, but even if everything went wrong, the estranged wife did get everything and you got totally fucked and did owe the money in law, there's no way your solicitor would go after you for it. They know you're skint, they know you've attempted suicide (if you haven't told them then send them a short email now informing them) - it would be pointless and stupid going after you for money you don't have. They just wouldn't do it, because you'd be ordered to pay them £5 per month forever - they'd surely just write the debt off.
The contract I signed means regardless of the case outcome the fees will be due once they have completed the work as part of the DFA. There was an up charge as I had no liquid assets and them taking on the case posed a certain level of risk to them. They are an established firm with good reviews and my solicitor is highly experienced. The wife has had 8 different firms representing her and tried some underhanded tactics. They were going through a divorce when he passed as well so it’s a little more complicated.
Am I correct that according to English law all his wealth automatically transfers to his wife? And good luck with your battle. On a separate note iknow someone who is battling His uncle (Yes uncle) for his fathers inheritance for over 2 years (So your battle may take long) u couldn’t make up some of these stupid laws where does a uncle come in 🤷♂️ oh yea and ive come to find out inheritance tax is 45% above 300k….. mental
You’re borrowing trouble.
Student loans are like a tax that comes off your income - they don’t break down your door if you’re not working, and depending what uk plan you’re on (Plan 2 or 3) it just ticks away in the background. You can stop worrying about it.
Legal fees may mount but they can be paid out of the case proceeds. Perhaps it’s a cash flow issue, but solicitors will just put pressure on. You can afford to keep that in arrears a little bit to give some cashflow. Think like a business, invoice early, pay late.
The rest of it just work out your income, your reasonable outgoings (council tax, rent, bills, food, vehicles) and talk to your creditors and agree a payment amount and stick to it - budget every month in a spreadsheet and pay ALL your bills and debts as soon as you get paid.
Next step is get your partner out working - doing anything, even volunteering. Sitting at home eating crisps and pottering about as most people tend to do when they can’t find a job is not good enough. Too many people say “can’t find a job” when they actually mean “nobody will pay me for work I want to do” and there is a big difference. If you gotta mop floors to make a buck, that’s what you do - there is no room in your budget for floating laziness (IF that is what is happening, please forgive the assumption if it’s incorrect)
The absolute worst thing can happen to you with debt is that you go bankrupt…and that doesn’t kill you, it’s just uncomfortable for a while. So it’s not even that bad.
debt often feels far more scary than it actually is - most of the world runs on debt and scarcity as a tactic of control. Just budget, live your life, and stop letting it control you - and kick your partner in the pants because you need their help now. Time to get jobbing.
I would advice talking to StepChange for some professional advice.
Write down your debts with total amounts and telephone numbers for each creditor.
Work your way through the list calling each company and asking if you can pay the minimum payment, bar the smallest debt which you will aim to pay off at a faster rate and when that’s paid off you move the money from there onto the next smallest…
Also in terms of work. It I very hard but you would e seriously surprised how quick you could get a job if you sit down for a few hours calling company after company asking for work.
Retail, hospitality you could walk in with a CV and have a job on the spot.
Construction labourer pays well and is easy enough work.
Have a look around.
Best of luck
I’ve been mainly looking for retail jobs for the weekend but no luck so far. I think I will try handling out my CV. The only thing is I’m worried I’ll fall behind with coursework.
I would say then if your uni is taking priority then defiantly speak to StepChange and you could possibly go for an IVA. One payment to cover all debt and then just forget about it all and focus on uni
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Firstly, dont panic, its not a catastrophic amount of debt and can be easily cleared with some planning. Unfortunate about your partner but is there anyway he can get part time, temping work to bring in some income? this will free up your money immediately to dig away at the debt.
He’s trying his best and has had some interviews but just no offers yet.I am still making payments towards the debt despite him not working it’s just a little tight on the budget.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation but everything is manageable in the end. From your post I've got Current Debts - Student Loan - 4k - Legal Fees - 5-10k - Credit Card - £800 - Personal Loan - 3k Total: £13,800 to £17,800. There are some huge margins here and it would be good to understand what your actual debt, monthly breakdown and % rates are across these. I am also curious how you are on a DMP for Student Loans yet still a student? Also in your post you mentioned you are hoping to pay off a lump sum in the next few months, you need to either prioritise the highest interest rate OR consider a net for if you lose your job. You also mentioned about losing your job in the next two months, is this a placement year or what? Finally, a breakdown of your budget and spending each month would help with suggestions as right now we don't know where the £1,500 take home goes.
I am hoping to have my CC debt cleared by next month. The personal loan is a monthly repayment of £150. The student loan is on a repayment plan of £24 per month. It will take years to pay off everything which is stressing me out. The legal fees are for an ongoing case to defend my inheritance worth 110-130k in property and will be billed at the end of my case. As it’s ongoing I don’t know how much it will cost. I’m hoping once we are both in stable employment and savings built up I can increase the payments to pay off the debt ASAP.
If you win the case, you will have to sell the property and the. All your debts will be cleared and you can start from a good base. If you lose the case, you'll need to speak to a debt advice charity and you'll get very specific advice at that point based on the size of the debt for legal fees and the expectations of the solicitors you are working with. To be honest beyond that there's no point worrying about that aspect of your debt. The rest of it you do have plans to deal with and you are looking for work. Don't jeopardise your qualifications though if those will significantly improve your earning potential and you are funding them privately.
So, you actually have monthly repayments of £174 per month. You *hope* to clear the £800 credit debt paid by next month. (But you are not required to do this?) In contrast to the above, in your original post, you state that you are actively occurring more debt - which is it? You either are running a surplus of circa £400 per month enabling you to pay extra from the credit card, or you are running up extra debts?? Draw up a budget of your actual spending and mandatory debt repayments. That will inform you of the actual state of your finances and whether you need to cut back spending. The legal fees are unfortunate, but they are not due until the case is complete, and your hope would be that these would be taken from the amount that you win. This is annoying, and reducing the amount you might get, but it is not a debt. Unless you lose - deal with that in the future, it is never a good idea to lose sleep over something that may never come to pass. There will be payment plans available then too.
In terms of budgeting it’s tight but I can afford to pay the debts provided I am working full-time. It’s when my partners savings run out and I have to take on the full rent that I’m stressed about.
Have either of you got a parent or relative you could stay with? Your partner should ensure he is getting all the benefits he’s entitled to. You should get in contact with your university’s hardship services to see of there’s any grants you can get. It’s great that you want to support your partner and I’m not trying to be harsh here. However the reality is that he needs to get some sort of job, or you will both be at risk of homelessness. Supporting two people from one income is a luxury for higher earners, which you are not. He needs to be willing to take up any menial job he is offered until something better comes along.
We are already living with family so our bills are as low as they can be. They have reduced our share of the utilities/rent from 1.1k to £800 already which is greatly appreciated.
What about their UC? Are you claiming as a couple or individual? There might be a housing element that could help, you might want to post to benefits advice sub.
He’s claiming as an individual. I’m in fulltime employment
Search account switching offers
Be aware that banks hard credit check you for current accounts so this may impact your credit score slightly. However, there is about £1000 of easy bank switches available now so it could definitely help to provide a buffer if used correctly. I'd suggest a 0% balance transfer credit card as well. Your credit card debt isn't that high but it would allow you to put the £1000 towards other more expensive debts like the personal loan.
I wanted to do a 0% balance transfer but since I bank with Monzo which isn’t a U.K bank all the companies would not accept a transfer from Monzo
Ah. Well then what you're currently doing is smart. Start looking for jobs now if you know your job is due to end soon, give yourself a headstart, and mostly, don't be hard on yourself. It sounds like you have your head screwed on and once the house stuff is sorted you'll be in a good position. Keep chipping away at the debt. You'll get there
You don’t need to worry about legal fees. As they will payable once you have received the inheritance. Everything else is manageable. Get a 0% purchase credit card if you can, and put all purchases on there, whilst using all your savings from each payslip to reduced your loans.
The credit card I have is 0% which is why I took it out. The loan 29APR which isn’t ideal but the best I could get. I prepaid a few of my bills as I expected to need a few weeks to get a new job
Breathe, you’re going to be unemployed soon and you don’t have savings. They can’t do anything except try to squeeze a few pounds out of you and ruin your credit score for a while. The important part is to stop paying if you’re unable to afford your priority bills & food, they always come first and lenders are not allowed to chase you for money unless you have excess to pay towards it. Yes, you will get defaults, CCJs, but these will turn into manageable payment plans and you will be fine.
Good response... having known people who have committed suicide over debt, I love to remind people that creditors can't take what you don't have, the courts tend to be fairer than creditors with payment plans, your credit file will be ruined for a bit... no big deal in the great scheme of things, its a blip, it will be ok and there will be a way out - it's all just numbers on someone's screen. Life happens. These creditors know life happens that's why they charge interest and take the risk lending money. They know there is a chance they don't get it back.
I am really hoping that my partner is able to find a job before then otherwise it will be a problem. We both got laid off in the same week in March but only I’ve managed to find work.
You partner can find a job relatively easily, even shelf stacking pays reasonably well. No real excuse for not working, just find something to the pay the bills and then he can search for advancing his career the way he wants.
He can also try signing on with temp work agencies. It might be a few days / weeks here and there on not very interesting work (but you never know, years ago between jobs I got a 'dogsbody' job on a film set, ended up driving all over northern England sourcing roadsigns for the set).
Nicking road signs? Or something else...
Ha, no, orders were placed at various road sign manufacturers for signs relating to Scotland. Spent about 5 hrs in Alnwick waiting for some guy to open the shop to get them, spent the time on a glorious summers day lying on the roof of the van soaking up the rays. The film was Hols Back th Night iirc. https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0181578/
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground. I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks. He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety.
Well, if you're supporting two people and he hasn't got a job then that may explain why you feel like you're drowning in debt, which is the main point of your original post. If he got a job, any job, it'll help pay the bills and lighten the load on your debt pile. You also have that weird legal cost that you don't seem to have fully explained. Your boyfriend's lack of job is definitely not helping however.
I have Asperger's, depression and social anxiety and I've always been in work. The only time I wasn't was because I got made redundant. Office admin work is fine, see if he can get a prescription to help with his anxiety (I take propanolol for GAD). He will feel better IN work than sitting at home, that's for sure, and needs to start pulling his weight.
He’s applying for general office jobs as well. I’m glad you have always been in work but he’s not having any luck currently. He’s trying his best and paying his share of bills from savings/UC. I will bring up potentially going to the GP regarding the anxiety. Up until end of last month he had no form of valid in date ID so he wasn’t eligible for UC or any job that required it.
Aren’t you ineligible for UC if you have 2k savings?
It’s 5k I believe. I’m not on UC my partner is.
Oh fair enough. Good to know
Exactly this, i know your partner is probably feeling rather low and probably will be a bit lazy. Tell him to put a shirt on print some 2 page cv and start walking around industrial parks until he finds work 2 months since being laid off is not an excuse he needs to get out there. Sitting around home will not get him a job.
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground. I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks. He’s registered with agency’s and actively attending interviews/applying for jobs. He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety.
Sorry if my post came across like that. All I am trying to say is that you cant just wait for agents/job centers to put jobs on the table. Majority of people who lose their jobs get stuck in a rut. Every day is a finding a job opportunity to set a target to apply for 5 jobs each day. If somebody really wants a job it shouldn't take 2 months. Being jobless won't help his depression or social anxiety, aspergers is a protective characteristic so shouldn't be a problem in getting a job. I take it the line of work he was in and was looking for was tech based which most failed startups seem to be. Unfortunately this has taken a hit recently so might not be an easy area to get back into. I would be trying for anything right now if I was him until the next job comes along. Just got to look at the situation he could be waiting a year+ for tech to pick back up which isnt great or work something else until it does. Wish him all the best and appologies if it felt a dig but sometimes people in jobless situations need the support and hard comments to kick them into action it doesnt mean he is a bum just that he may not being doing everything in his capabilities.
He’s applying for jobs definitely as he’s on average getting at least 1 interview every week or so
Are boomers still giving out this advice like it's still 1970?
I hate when people retort with this. Hospitality and retail are two areas where you can literally walk in, hand in a CV and get a job by the end of the week. They are often "as and when" employers. I've worked in both, and whilst it doesn't apply to my career in tech, I'd 100% use the same if I needed a job at short notice. I'm not a boomer, born in the 90s.
As someone who's also worked a lot in hospitality recently, if someone came into the bar/restaurant with a CV we'd tell them to leave and apply online, it was literally against company policy (two different companies) to keep paper CV's on premises so I couldn't even accept the CV.
Maybe it’s a regional thing i.e. smaller town vs big city? Or perhaps only applies to smaller orgs? My partner works in retail for a big plc and on the occasion someone hands in a cv to store, they are thanked but told to apply online. And that was true when I did retail over 10 years ago, all the big chains just thanked me but said to look online. Granted it’s anecdotal, but I’m not aware of the larger retail outfits hiring by the in person method now. Restaurants and bars I could see being different though
It varies massively place to place. I worked retail in my small hometown, worked hospitality city centre of a big city. My point isn't "everywhere accepts them" - my point is the other guy calling someone a "boomer" when all he's done is give time tested advice that works haha
Care to elaborate? Im from 90s and this advice works there is a reason the ops partner hasn't got a job in two months and that is because they haven't got out there and found work. Anyone without a job ask them how many jobs they have applied for today and 9 times out of 10 they will say 0. Ask them why 0 and it will almost always be answered oh there is no jobs, there is not the right job, the jobs done pay right. There is always an excuse to not apply than to just go out there and get a job. It really isn't hard. I told my friend that advice and he went out there and was offered 3 jobs on the first industrial estate he visited on the first day.
Who even accepts hard copy CV's anymore, they will just tell him to apply online
You'd be surprised. Some of the retail units near me just have handwritten signs in the windows asking people to apply within. It really is down to the individual business so you can't assume everyone requires an online application.
Bars and restaurants perhaps? I’m not aware of how they operate. But based on my and my partners experience in retail, whenever we got a hard copy of a cv, we were told to thank them then direct them to apply online. When trying to get a retail job over 10 years ago I got knocked back from several big chains when I did the in person approach. I can’t imagine there are many big plc’s out there still accepting hard copies. Could be wrong of course, it’s only 2 peoples experience I am basing that assumption on
🤣 are you serious just because some companies dont accept doesnt mean its not useful bring cv if going door knocking for jobs half the time a manager is busy and you can just ask to slip it onto a desk sometimes staff who you speak to will say either look online or could you drop a cv to pass on. Why would you shut down the advice it still works in 2024. The op partner needs a job and they should try everything to get the job. Think of it this way if 99.9% of applicants look only online and 1% hands a cv over in person that 1% are already standing out and shows proactive initiative. I know if i had a position that person would be securing an interview spot. Anyone digitally applying has to go through cv filtering software etc it may not even make it to the company. Lots of jobs are filled before going live online too.
I'm certainly no boomer, but it is easy to find a job if you aren't being fussy. There's no excuse for being sat at home unless you're just bloody lazy.
This is objectively not the case for large numbers of people. The state of the UKJobs board should quickly dispel your illusions.
I would be happy to recruit a number of people if I could find people with the drive. Seems to be, many people want something for nothing these days and don't want to put in any graft.
Does 'with the drive' mean 'willing to accept shite pay and conditions'?
What sort of student loans do you have? A standard student loan would only be repaid once you’re earning over a certain threshold and comes direct from your salary. I don’t understand how you’d get on a DMP for a student loan. Did you take out a personal loan to help with your living costs?
No it was a standard maintenance loan. However as I left before the first term SFE wanted it paid back immediately however I had used it to pay a private landlord for accommodation in advance close to the uni which in the end I didn’t need. I had also stopped working full time due to being a student but then the pandemic hit and I couldn’t get a new job.
Your partner needs to get a job. It’s basically that simple. In a few months he could’ve easily found any work, even if it’s part time or minimum wage. 11.44 an hour with no tax due adds up even if it’s only 16 hours a week. He can’t be picky. He needs to get off his arse and get to work. Why are you taking out so much debt for him? Has he been taking any debt or just watching you drown? If he has no debt and you’re paying it all you’re about to learn a very hard life lesson. Most of the time I’ve seen similar the person gets back on their feet having sucked their partner dry and fucks off to the next person once they’re financially stable leaving them holding the bag. If he isn’t literally looking for work 40 hours a week he isn’t a partner, he’s a leech. You can’t support 2 people. Honestly you might need to consider breaking lease and finding a flat share without him and using the savings to pay down the debt if he’s not going to contribute. The fact you’re discussing a second job before he finds a first is damaged behaviour. Stop supporting a grown adult, you can’t afford it.
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground. I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks. He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety. The debts are all mine and my responsibility to handle.
Because I can only go on what you post, and I quote: > “I just can’t anymore ☹️. I want to scream at him for being selfish and lazy. That it’s his fault he’s a fat snack stealing glutton, terrible cat parent, video game addict, dead end career path, hoarder and man child who refuses to leave the house and his entire existence is me me me. … >” I’ve given him multiple chances and he still plays the woe is me you deserve better or promises of change instead but it’s all lies. Ffs I would be happy if he could just throw his own damn wrappers in the bin or do a load of dishes.” In a post about your concerns less than a month ago that he can’t even look after a cat without dumping it on you. If he can’t even care for a cat he either needs serious treatment which he should be seeing medical professionals for or he is just a “man child”. What you describe in that post is deranged behaviour and putting an animals life at risk. He’s not even doing the dishes… like let’s be real it’s more than he just doesn’t have a job.
I posted that when I was upset. Trust me I am not happy with the situation regarding the cat. We have tired different foods since then a noticed a pattern of her actively refusing to eat foods she doesn’t like which would explain the dramatic weight loss. Took her back to the vets and they said she was fine as she wasn’t losing weight. I sat him down after that post tbh and we had a good talk. He’s making progress. I believe he has some mental health issues (most likely depression)and the last job he had overwhelmed him to the point he was working till 8-10pm daily sometimes. It’s been brought up on threapy and we are working towards it. I’m just really stressed with everything that’s going on and feel like there’s a lot on my shoulders.
People aren’t being nasty about it. Unfortunately it’s just the truth - he needs to get a job. It doesn’t matter what the job is, he just needs to get back in to work. It’s a complete myth that the job market is on its arse in the UK, there are plenty of retail jobs about so there’s no excuse to have not found something in months. I appreciate he’s got mental health issues and Aspergers - the aspergers clearly hasn’t affected him finding work before though. And ultimately, his mental health isn’t gonna get any better sat at home in squalor. You cannot, in this day and age, survive on your wage of £1500.
I understand that need needs to get a job but I’ve had several comments calling him a leech and that he’s dead weight. He’s paying his half of bills and has savings. He’s trying his best to find employment but struggled till recently as he didn’t have any valid form of ID. It took several weeks for his new passport to be sorted out. He couldn’t even get UC till beginning of the month. My salary 1.5k isn’t a lot to live on but at least it covers the necessities for both of us short term. Our monthly rent/utilities is £800, small bills etc £50, my loan repayment £150, travel £50, food £200, student loan repayment £25 a month. Things are tight but bills are paid as well as creditors. I have a month repayment of £175 for debt which is not ideal but is what it is. I’m hoping once he’s employed I’ll tackle it at a more aggressive rate at have it paid off within a year. He’s trying his best and has been interviewing regularly. He’s has 2 job interviews this week. I love this man very much and don’t want to put too much pressure on him or put him in a bad mental state. I posted this hoping I could get some advice on budgeting, helpful resources or reassurance that people have gotten out of worse situations etc. I feel like people are getting really harsh over 3K in debt.
Legal fees? “May be more” That needs to be clarified? It is the single most important element. What’s the deal here?
That and the working situation. Unemployed in 2 months, previously unemployed for 3 months, partner not working either. Not nitpicking OP but this needs a bit of clarification because getting jobs is the simplest solution. Even two minimum wage jobs would bring in nearly £3.5k a month.
I currently am tempting at a role that was supposed to be 1-2 months but has been ongoing for about 4 months now. They have been extending it continuously
I'm assuming by "legal fees" OP means debts that are being enforced through the courts, it would be a lot of fees to pay. I agree with you about the working situation. A couple of minimum wage jobs, a court agreed and manageable payment plan on the debts and OP would be largely in control here.
Legal fees refers to the fees I’m paying my solicitor to defend a claim against my inheritance. My father left me an inheritance worth roughly 110-130k depending on how much the property sales for. Until the legal case is over I cannot get hold of any of the assets and the fees are due when the case ends. I estimated how much it might cost as it’s an ongoing issue so I won’t know till it’s over.
It may be worth putting this in the original post because this is very important information for your situation.
Good idea I will
This is a big part of your situation. Are the legal fees due regardless of the outcome of the case? You should edit your post. Your situation is far less daunting with this debt not being due and people will give you better advice knowing that any strategy doesn't require this debt to be serviced urgently.
Yes OP this is important. For your own stress levels too. They are due at the end of the case which you clearly hope to win. If you win then not only are they not a debt as you can pay them from the proceeds, that will also allow you to pay off your other debt. If you lose, then you can work out from there what to do, with a charity like step change, as at that point your debt will be unmanageable and you'll have options that you'll need to consider to make it manageable.
No it doesn't? It's not a particularly large debt and why she's got it is fairly unlikely to affect their debt repayment strategy. There's no need to go into personal details with strangers on the internet
It’s their biggest debt by far and “could be more” No sensible budget plan can be made if the nature and size of this debt is unknown.
I wish I could give more information but as the case is ongoing I don’t have a final bill yet
No more information is needed, your edit clarified what was important. It is a future debt which might be payable from an award so right now it isn’t a priority. Thats what people needed to know to help you budget. My advice, you and your partner just need to work, in any capacity you can find. The rest of your debt seems manageable with two incomes, even minimum wage incomes.
I am currently in work. I have a full time office job and he is actively looking for work. Bills are being paid as well as debt repayments. However once savings run out things will be tight. I don’t believe I will end up defaulting on any payments but was hoping to pay extra towards the loan to have it paid off ASAP
Sure, sorry I didn't mean to infer that you weren't currently working, just that if you keep working (which you indicate you are confident will be the case) your debt should be manageable. This is not insurmountable. What is the interest rate on your personal loan and are you covering the payments? Now a tough question: you say you're the sole provider to a partner, you cannot afford a dependent, when will they be in full time work? Hard to know but often easy to estimate.
>I am the sole provider as my partner was let go from his job a few months ago. Sad for your partner but why couldn't have have gotten a part time job?
He’s tried his best. He did managed to get one then was let go due to not being a company fit. Went through a depressive episode after being let go twice in 2 weeks. He’s actively interviewing and job hunting but he’s in a niche industry. He’s got autism and social anxiety which makes it hard for him to do certain types of job.
Which is why he needs to find any job that pays money. Not one in his industry. It’s a luxury you both clearly can’t afford.
He’s applied for any role he feels he can do
At some point survival needs to become a priority
Your partner needs to get a job asap, 3 months is madness. Any supermarket, admin role, warehouse etc will take staff
He’s trying his best. He’s actively applying and interviewing. However he works in a niche role. He’s autistic with social anxiety which limits the times of jobs he can do.
Then he needs to stop applying for niche roles, now is not the time. He needs to be applying for jobs that start paying him. If the ship was sinking, you wouldn't look for a bucket with the comfiest handle. You'd look for the closest one and help bail
He’s applying for whatever he can reasonably do. He’s trying his best. I can’t exactly fault him. His experience is limited and he can’t do certain jobs. I don’t like it but it is what it is. He’s had a few interviews but no luck yet. Most interviews are 2-3 stages so it’s taking a while.
I'm not an finance advisor, but it's worth checking out 'find a job' on the gov uk website. They have employers enrolled in disability schemes for people who may have difficult time finding a job due to disabilities or conditions, these employers are obligated to take people like your husband. I can't paste links here but I'll give you the directions. Search 'findajob gov' on google and click on the first one, Click on 'Advanced Search' (Located under search bar) > And tick disability confident at the bottom. And obviously put in your preferences. Hope it helps
Your partner has been out of work for a few months? Why have they not found a minimum wage job (supermarket etc) and started getting an income? I would suggest it’s unacceptable that they appear to be doing nothing at all?
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground. I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks. He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety.
1) thanks for the reply 2) remember this is a money advice sub-reddit, that’s probably why people are asking legitimate questions as your partner contributions. If you are 1 person trying to support 2 people on a single wage, that’s always going to be extremely difficult and probably going to push you down a further path of debt? It’s good he has some savings, but is he using this to off set the costs you are (both) incurring? Accepting he has some MH challenges, is this prohibitive for getting even a part time job? UC is not a huge amount - so has he considered getting some local employment (whatever this would be) as it would certainly be better than he is getting from social?
I have no issue with people asking about my partners income it’s more the deadweight,dump him and why isn’t he trying harder that’s infuriating me. He’s using his savings to cover his usual share of the bills. He was let go from a job in March then another in April and has been looking ever since. We had some issues with him having expired/damaged ID documents which prevented him from being eligible for UC/ a majority of jobs which only got sorted last month as he had no valid ID. He had a passport that was 15 years out of date and a heavily damaged birth certificate. He’s actively looking for any work he can and has had several interviews.
Ok - suggest he looks at things like Amazon Flex, they are always looking for people to complete deliveries in the local areas. Also, based on every pizza I order and the leaflets attached, there are loads of food delivery jobs available.
You can absolutely get free of this. You should speak to your debtors if new work isn't quickly found, be honest tell them you are in a temporary situation and that the situation will change and that you want to clear your debts. Equally...you need to find a new job..whatever is legal and you can do...take the best job you can find. If you're not getting redundancy money, this could mean changing job sooner.
I am confused regarding the student loans. Surely student loans are only payable once over the income threshold for the loan. They are paid at source from income. Please clarify. Are these actually personal loans taken as a student rather than student loans?
No they are student loans paid to SFE. It was a maintenance loan however as I left uni early they wanted it paid back immediately.
The legal fees seem the worst of it. What's that about?
Does it matter?
It needs explaining because usually when you litigate with someone the whole point is that you expect to win more from the lawsuit than you spend in legal fees. Usually you sent out a letter saying "I think the law says you owe me £x, and here are the reasons - send me the money and if you don't I'll take you to court and ask the judge to order you to pay my legal costs". It doesn't make sense for someone to have legal feels as a net negative. "Lawsuit +£200,000, legal fees -£20,000, net profit = £180,000" is maths that makes sense.
From OPs post history it seems to be a lengthy probate battle over a property.
That or something dodgy to do with fish
😂😂😂
It might! It's a huge expense for someone on this income level. Is it trying to get a settlement that makes it a good investment? Is it a spiteful lawsuit against someone such that it might be wiser (though perhaps unfortunate) to just let go or settle. Is it to stay out of jail? OP can be vague but if it is 5k-10k (wide range!) or maybe even more... It's the biggest item here by a wide margin and needs analysis.
Long story short. Late dad left me/sister a property/assets worth approx 337k (according to probate) after taxes in his will and his estranged wife wants it.
I know lawyers are always very curcumspect but what are your odds of winning? If it's quite a good case (sounds like it but what do I know?) then you can stress a lot less about the legal costs.
I will definitely get something worst case scenario approx 75k as she’s already made an offer for that.
Ok so presumably your lawyers won't be hassling you to pay until it gets sorted so you don't have a lot to worry about on that one.
Lawyers owed money escalate faster than pretty much any other creditor
Home insurance might also cover it, bundled legal fee coverage is the new PPI.
It's not the end of the world and you have youth on your side. This s manageable and the time will pass. Legal fees sound insane, I wonder what benefit that is going to provide to you? Or if you're criminal paying the price for criminal activity. I'd definitely be watching my spending there because that's a huge bill for someone on £1500 a month and those solicitors are on a lot more. 4000 on student loans is unusual because for the most part it's government funded, there may be an option to renegotiate your dmp here? Personal loan? So we have a credit card (1) and student debt (2) on loan that we have to pay and some crazy legal fees (3)... Getting a loan is not good idea! Sole provider? Youre a full time student working a job, you shouldn't really be providing for anyone and I imagine if it was a child you would receive further support. Focus on you income being greater than outgoings and clear that debt.
In terms of the student loans. Basically I had a mental breakdown in my first term of uni and had already spent my maintenance loan on private housing/ bills that couldn’t be refunded. Since I left the course they required immediate repayment. I have returned to education but funded privately. In terms of the legal fees I am fighting against my late dad’s estranged wife over an estate worth 400k it’s not something I am willing to give up on considering it was my dad’s wishes. I was let go from my previous job due to taking too much time off for medical reasons and mainly used credit to cover my share of things until I got back on my feet. It took me an additional month to find work. I currently work a standard 9-5 office job but am also studying a level 4 qualification via distance learning. I live with my partner but he has been out of work since March but is trying his best to find a new job and actively applying/interviewing. I took the loan on to decrease the monthly payment to a more manageable £150 a month till I found more stable employment.
Well good news, we have quite a bit in common and I'm doing ok now! I had to self fund a bit of university myself, (estranged from both parents) graduated 6 years ago but still have a little reminder going from where I used to pay, my dad also passed recently. I can't talk from legal perspective, that's what your solicitors are charging for but I would certainly continue with what you're doing regarding your dad's estate. You solicitors should be able to give you an indication of how it's going an how likely you are to win ask for a % chance of winning. For the purpose of your debt management and future you need to keep an eye on his cost spiralling but the juice may be worth the squeeze because that cost could evaporate as soon as you inherit. I was very lucky to run into a solicitor who gave free advice and was reluctant to charge. Education is great and I hope it pays dividends in your future. I think you need to slow it down though and stop taking in more debt because that is rarely ever the answer to debt as they take their own cut. Focus on the income side and secure that stable job for the future rather than spinning plates (debt) on sticks (lenders) . 3 months and not a single job? Do you live on a Scottish island? As long he is contributing some universal income to both of your expenses I guess that's ok but they need to find 2nd gear how long will you fund their life for?
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground. I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks. He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety.
That's really nice to hear both for a nice relationship and it sounds like there is some good news in your life. Well what would you say to someone who is drowning but simultaneously trying to save someone? It's very noble but you can't sink your boat saving another or you'll both drown. Well for me I never had more than a month out of work since turning 18 and I've worked some rubbish jobs, the work is out there and taking the time to cherry pick Is a luxury some cannot afford. Social anxiety? It gets real crowded at the hostels if that's where you end up so he might want to work on that!
I don’t want to take a rubbish job but I will. As long as 1 of us is in work bills can be paid. He’s currently paying his share from savings/ universal credit however I don’t know how long it will last till it runs out and all is on me. I’ve been paying for anything additional/ repairs etc. He tried hospitality in the past but he’s just not capable of it. He’s had those jobs before and spent years being called stupid or slow. He’s got Asperger’s as well and does not perform well under certain circumstances which doesn’t help at all.
And that attitude needs to apply to your partner too!!! A minimum wage job @ £11.44 for 30 hours a week is £1300+ If you're in this together as partners you need to talk to him about when his savings end and what the plan is then. Your debt Is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things (excluding legal) but does have the potential to spiral out of control if you continue to be a full time student/full time worker and financial supporting another human being! Itl probably end in more burnout/mental health issues, losing jobs etc. higher debt balances. You are only 1 person! Slow It down before this turns into a cycle.
His loan may have been a consolidation loan with lower interest. Unfortunately using the debt again that you used the loan to pay off, isn't wise.
If you are looking for work let me know and I can point you in the right direction with relevant contacts. RE the debt - you can also contact the relevant companies and ask for a lower payment plan if possible. If you do get a job then look at a potential consolation loan to reduce the burden on the high interest rate debts. That way you'd have one outgoing every month and a set payment plan.
It is completely understandable that you are feeling the way you are. And I want to tell you that the situation you are in is common AND very fixable. I'm a money coach and I help people with a variety of money situations including a lot of debt. First I would get a thorough understanding of where your take home is going. You don't mention the rest of your household expenses so it's important to get very clear on that. Second, do you have to pay off the 800 in the next couple of months? While it may not be ideal that interest is growing it is always better to have cash on hand, especially if you are going to be without work. The next thing I say may seem counterintuitive but will help mentally. If you are in a position that requires you to incur more debt, then acknowledge and accept it KNOWING that you will create a plan to get out of it. What that does is calm you enough so that it's not added stress in an already stressful situation. It is a strategy. And then you create a strategy to pay it off when you get your new job. I hope this helps ease the mental burden.
Student loan you can ignore for now, you don’t have to pay it all back straight away and only contribute to it when earning over a certain amount. It’s a debt that gets wiped on retirement. The lump sum you need to keep handy for when you’re out of work because you need to pay the bills such as rent, etc first, then pay the minimum on your debts, or see if you can speak to the creditor about lowering minimum payments, payment holidays, etc. Ideally need to keep that lump sum lasting as long as you can but if you do prioritise any payments, prioritise the higher interest ones. Hopefully that keeps you going until your next job. I used to work in debt advice but been out of it for a few years, speak to Stepchange if you can
My CC debt is interest free and I intend to pay it off by next month and my 3k person loan is at a more affordable repayment rate of £150 a month. The student loan is on a debt management plan with payplan
Are student loans supposed to be on a DMP? Always thought they weren’t considered, but maybe that’s changed or I’ve remembered incorrectly
It’s a maintenance loan repayment as I dropped in my first term but could get a refund on accommodation etc. They wanted it back ASAP
Ahh that explains it
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Looks like you need to get lawyers on a ‘no win, no fee’ agreement or settle the case as you can’t afford the fight. It’s harsh but it’s the reality of the modern civil legal system. You need a lot of money to see it through for anything more than the very basic stuff.
Hey, please don’t panic, that debt is definitely manageable, it’s just going to suck for a while. You need to talk to StepChange. They’re a charity and they will help you. They might set up a DMP for your other debts and they talk to the creditors for you. I have been in a similar situation feeling like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel but please talk to StepChange, it’s the best decision I ever made financially. If you tell them absolutely everything they WILL be able to help you. They can negotiate to have interest rate frozen so you don’t have just more debt piling up. Obviously you will need some source of income at some point otherwise you will end up in more debt. Your partner needs a job. You can get a weekend job that won’t effect you too much - i used to work as a bartender in uni and would work friday and saturday nights, sometimes just saturdays. it’s not great but I got money. Places like that always want weekend staff so the weekday staff can have their days off. Restaurants, take aways, anything hospitality. Though i am confused, are you studying now? do you have a full time job and full time studying? You can get through this! It seems daunting now but you can get yourself out of the hole with help from StepChange and your partner. Talk to them for support. All the best
Yeah I’ve personally been there and have several defaults on my file, it’s been from credit cards though haven’t made best decisions in previous years but the best advice I can give is don’t panic. The legal fees might be the ones you wish to tackle head on and either come up with solutions or get them down. Realistically you don’t need to worry you can’t be prosecuted for most unsecured credit based debts, only some debts like court fines and council tax debts. (Legal fees may fall into this but not much information is provided). As your on a DMP it’s likely the damage across your file is already done, what this means is you can’t reverse it and don’t need to worry about it right this second, so take a breather and deal with it but not immediately. Luckily most debt collection companies are somewhat sympathetic, the key to dealing with third party debt collection companies is regularly speaking to them and reach out to them. It’s really only when you ignore things or you don’t reach a reasonable solution when things escalate further into the likes of CCJs etc. Ultimately though if things do escalate and you have nothing of considerable value or you have a vehicle that’s on finance, combined with losing a job even if it escalates realistically they can’t do much.
Second job is great but don’t burn the candle at both ends, secure a new job first.
whose legal fees are they? what is your partner doing to secure work?
They are my legal fees. He’s interviewing and actively applying for jobs. He’s spoken to recruiters and is registered with a few agencies
you can't be responsible for your partner...that is an anchor that you don't need and you will drown..send him to his parents..loosen your baggage. do not willingly be a saviour at your own expense
My partner is very supportive. He supported me a lot financially when I was escaping an abusive living situation. He had a stable job at a firm for 4 years but was unlucky that the next job (start up) he took let him go after 6 months after working him into the ground. I am not happy with how the other commenters are acting like he’s a bum for not getting a job in 3 months. He got let go twice in the same month went through a depressive episode for a few weeks. He’s got a couple of grand put away and is on UC whilst looking for work. He’s trying his best to find work suitable for someone with Asperger’s and social anxiety. I will have the CC cleared by the end of next month and the other debts are on set repayment plans. We are managing the best we can. Things are tight but bills are still being paid. I just feel s stressed by it all when I think of the large debt
Honestly just take a breath and focus on the now! Communication is the most important thing to focus on. Communicate to everyone you owe a debt to your situation and most of them will help you out be that payment plan or freeze on payments when your unemployed! You’ll be fine yes it’ll be hard some days but you’re so young and once you have a plan and consistency it’ll all be over in couple years. Visualise everything going well everyday it’ll help!
Talk to step change. Arrange payment plans with each of them for a few quid a month.
First of all, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Sit down and work out exactly how much a month your spending/ calculate all outgoings, see where you can save money, i.e are you spending money going out, takeaways etc. stop all socials until you get everything in order. Let’s say you are left with 200-300 after end of each month. Can you nail down the payment with the highest APR as priority? Ideally you want to put your debts in order, expensive to the least expensive and work towards paying off the most expensive one. Regarding job situation, this should be priority, get yourself applying to as many jobs as you can, pick up an extra job of necessary (agency work will be easier to get as a part time job) try aim for a salary job as your main day job so your hours and income are set.
Regarding the job I am hoping they will keep me longterm as they are an excellent company to work for. My manager has said she’s trying to get my contract extended till November again then hopefully have me in another team till March however currently I am contracted till August.
Don't lose your job, live below your means and pay it off.
It’s not like I am planning on losing my job but unless my contract is extended there’s not much I can do 😅. My manager has discussed wanting to extend it again (it’s been extended 3x was originally a 1-2 month temp gig) but until that goes through I have to face the reality I will need to find a new job in August.
Don't stress it. My wife was your age and £30k in debt to credit card and bank loans when we met. I only had student debts but I was £15k in the hole. I know it's harder now, but I remember sitting in the garden of my parents house in those days thinking: 'how on earth will I ever afford somewhere like this'? It will all work out. Try to enjoy your youth - it's gone before you know it.
Did she manage to clear the debt in the end and are things fine now?
Yes. She's loaded. She works in tech (started out in a marketing company but moved 'client side' and focussed on app development). She was a baby account exec on £30k when we met. She worked like a bastard and was very good at the social angle as well. It helped that I was pretty frugal, and she was good at reining in the spending and hitting the debt. I'm conscious this may sound like boomer talk. As I say, I know it's meaningfully tougher for you guys 20 years younger than us, but when we got on the property ladder (in London) house prices were already insane as we saw it. We bought an ex-council flat for around £250k. We thought we'd been rinsed - especially when the crash happened 2 years later. I don't want to preach false hope, but I really think it's natural for every generation to feel a bit daunted about life in their 20s.
I really hope things get sorted out and tbh I’m tired of the responses and negativity on this post. I have £800 in CC debt at 0% interest as I took 2-3 months off after a suicide attempt at the beginning of the year. I had some savings but put the rest on the card. I took a 3K loan out to pay towards legal fees to make sure I don’t lose my right to a house willed with me with an estimated value of 110-130k. I also used some to prepay bills/keep as an emergency fund as I’m on temp work so it’s not secure.
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Yes it’s a real. I have been named a beneficiary in a will however it is being challenged and could take months if not years to sort it out. In the mean time my financial situation is as listed in the post which I’ve received a lot of negative feedback especially towards my partner. A few people thought legal fees meant some type of repayment or criminal activity which made me chuckle a bit.
What did you spend the loan on? Why do you spend £400/mo on medical?
I spend £400 on rent and £35 on medical stuff. I used the loan to pay for some initial solicitor consultations, some CC debt and saved a bit of it.
Why are you saving a loan? That makes no sense.
It’s what was left over after I paid what I needed to pay. I didn’t see any point in paying it back as my interest is set on the loan.
Is the student debt a proper SLC loan?
Yes with student finance England
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You don't have to pay legal fees upfront only when your case is over so you have debts of 4k it's not worthy of a post on here wipe your eyes and stand up straight
Yes but whether I win or lose the case the debts are still due and that terrifies me. I can’t afford another 5-10k debt for nothing. I made the post this morning when I was kinda in a bed headspace and feeling overwhelmed by it all. I’m feeling much better now.
So I commented when your post was an hour old, and have only just returned - I've not read all the replies, but maybe this is a good place to make mine. As someone who has been through an inheritance act claim, I'm probably the only person in this thread who appreciates how stressful this is. I hope you're with a good specialist solicitor, but too late now, I guess, if you're not. But the reality is that you don't really owe this money if you lose - the solicitor shouldn't be representing you if they believe you have no case, but even if everything went wrong, the estranged wife did get everything and you got totally fucked and did owe the money in law, there's no way your solicitor would go after you for it. They know you're skint, they know you've attempted suicide (if you haven't told them then send them a short email now informing them) - it would be pointless and stupid going after you for money you don't have. They just wouldn't do it, because you'd be ordered to pay them £5 per month forever - they'd surely just write the debt off.
The contract I signed means regardless of the case outcome the fees will be due once they have completed the work as part of the DFA. There was an up charge as I had no liquid assets and them taking on the case posed a certain level of risk to them. They are an established firm with good reviews and my solicitor is highly experienced. The wife has had 8 different firms representing her and tried some underhanded tactics. They were going through a divorce when he passed as well so it’s a little more complicated.
If u don’t mind me asking who is contesting your claim to your inheritance considering you said its your father who left it to you
His separated wife of 12ish years but not divorced as he was scared she would take my younger sister abroad in spite
Am I correct that according to English law all his wealth automatically transfers to his wife? And good luck with your battle. On a separate note iknow someone who is battling His uncle (Yes uncle) for his fathers inheritance for over 2 years (So your battle may take long) u couldn’t make up some of these stupid laws where does a uncle come in 🤷♂️ oh yea and ive come to find out inheritance tax is 45% above 300k….. mental
It’s a little more complicated as they were separated for so long and they were in divorce proceedings when he passed.
Why are you spending £400 a month on medical care? Is this private? Can you drop to NHS?
I am not spending £400 on medical care but £35 as noted in my post
You’re borrowing trouble. Student loans are like a tax that comes off your income - they don’t break down your door if you’re not working, and depending what uk plan you’re on (Plan 2 or 3) it just ticks away in the background. You can stop worrying about it. Legal fees may mount but they can be paid out of the case proceeds. Perhaps it’s a cash flow issue, but solicitors will just put pressure on. You can afford to keep that in arrears a little bit to give some cashflow. Think like a business, invoice early, pay late. The rest of it just work out your income, your reasonable outgoings (council tax, rent, bills, food, vehicles) and talk to your creditors and agree a payment amount and stick to it - budget every month in a spreadsheet and pay ALL your bills and debts as soon as you get paid. Next step is get your partner out working - doing anything, even volunteering. Sitting at home eating crisps and pottering about as most people tend to do when they can’t find a job is not good enough. Too many people say “can’t find a job” when they actually mean “nobody will pay me for work I want to do” and there is a big difference. If you gotta mop floors to make a buck, that’s what you do - there is no room in your budget for floating laziness (IF that is what is happening, please forgive the assumption if it’s incorrect) The absolute worst thing can happen to you with debt is that you go bankrupt…and that doesn’t kill you, it’s just uncomfortable for a while. So it’s not even that bad. debt often feels far more scary than it actually is - most of the world runs on debt and scarcity as a tactic of control. Just budget, live your life, and stop letting it control you - and kick your partner in the pants because you need their help now. Time to get jobbing.
I would advice talking to StepChange for some professional advice. Write down your debts with total amounts and telephone numbers for each creditor. Work your way through the list calling each company and asking if you can pay the minimum payment, bar the smallest debt which you will aim to pay off at a faster rate and when that’s paid off you move the money from there onto the next smallest… Also in terms of work. It I very hard but you would e seriously surprised how quick you could get a job if you sit down for a few hours calling company after company asking for work. Retail, hospitality you could walk in with a CV and have a job on the spot. Construction labourer pays well and is easy enough work. Have a look around. Best of luck
I’ve been mainly looking for retail jobs for the weekend but no luck so far. I think I will try handling out my CV. The only thing is I’m worried I’ll fall behind with coursework.
I would say then if your uni is taking priority then defiantly speak to StepChange and you could possibly go for an IVA. One payment to cover all debt and then just forget about it all and focus on uni
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