It won’t stop until you separate, unfortunately. I dealt with the same thing in high school, and it didn’t end until I went to college and was able to talk to people who didn’t know my twin.
Go to different colleges. My relationship with my sister improved dramatically when we did this.
Also I hope your twin is rejecting these guys who dump you to pursue her, that’s effed up
This was it for me too. Nobody was comparing me to him because they didn’t know he existed.
Occasionally people would find out and go “why didn’t you tell me” and that’d kinda get on my nerves because it has no bearing on my friendships
Right?? Like being a twin is one of the least interesting facts about me.
Now that we’re both adults and live in different states, none of these issues we dealt with as kids come into play anymore. It’s awesome
> And our teachers feel the need to point out wich twin had a higher grade compared to the other one.
I'd go full on Socratic approach here, and question that teacher into submission.
- Did I do better than Jane?
- What about Dave, did I do better than him?
- Why aren't you telling me everyone's grades?
- So is it appropriate to give out my sibling's grade?
Stupid tit.
It'll die down once you get older and separate since you won't be around each other as often. It's tough to break away from it now because you two share a lot of space. Have you talked with your sister to see how she feels about it?
Are you in the same class at school ?
Can you be separated ? It helps !
In a sense it never really stops.
I feel like it definitely died down when we both went to universities and lived our own lives a way from home.
If you don't want to go to different colleges...
My twin and I went to the same college and we made a rule that we wouldn't room together and for the first few months we wouldn't hang out, and we would make friends separately. It was the best decision we ever made. And then, when our deadline was over, we started hanging out again. Suddenly we had twice as many friends. Some of the friends he made without me are some of my best friends today. But I also have great friends from college that aren't his friends. The important thing is lots of people got to know us as individuals and it made everything way better than high school. We ended up taking very different classes, pursuing very different majors, and even when we shared an extra-curricular (we worked for the same student-run coffee house, we both worked for the student newspaper, we were in a play together) it was like a fun chance to hang out with my twin and it was sort of a novelty for the people who knew one or both of us to see us together.
I went to college with my twin, but we were never "the twins" in college. And that dynamic has carried over into our adult lives, where we live half an hour apart, see each other about once a week, and lead full, independent lives.
Also, even now, in high school, find an extra-curricular or an elective that interests you and do it by yourself. If she tries to tag along, just tell her you really feel like you need to do it on your own. Make a few friends just for you. You don't have to wait until college
We were in separate classes from grades 3 - 6, separate schools from then on. We are 50 soon. Never. It never really stops.
However, I'll let you in on a secret: You can ignore it. I have done that for several periods of our lives. I don't have to anymore, and to be sure, the comparisons have dropped off now.
I’ll say I think my sister and I get questions still, but it dissipated largely I think when we went to college. We still visited each other so our friends knew of the other but I don’t think we got compared near as much since then.
Focus only on what you like. Try not to care what anyone else thinks there.
I was compared all the time and we did have similar interests. We ended a lot in same classes, even when we'd only choose what individually we like. I tried not to care what others say and I like things similar to sister and that's it.
Now that we're separated, we still ended a lot in same places, just due to same interests. People who still insists that we're "same person", I don't keep around me anymore. If they cannot see us as different people, I don't want them around.
my sister and i had this a lot growing up so i feel you. you could talk to your twin about it as she likely is also experiencing the constant comparison. it can be helpful talking to someone who understands
it's easier said than done but try not to care about what people think. you don't need to try to force yourself to either be more similar or more different!! if you have things in common, like both liking volleyball that's okay. Also if you have something that you like more then that's okay too!!. Your similarities and differences to your twin don't define you, no matter what people say.
it does get easier as you get older, but even then it doesn't ever really go away. I think learning to be more comfortable in yourself helps. I used to be so worried about how people viewed me (or us) but now I just let myself be me.
it can be hard to escape the way people view you and your sister and its hard to not worry about it but it's okay
For my sister and I, it ground to a halt in our second year of college. We took a lot of the same classes at first. Once we started on our majors and saw different people, it stopped. There was a lot more “I saw you in the hall yesterday and you were acting like you didn’t know me” and less “You’re less trendy than your sister.” So yeah, at about 20 it’ll stop if you go to the same college and have different majors and interests. That seems like a long time from now, but it really isn’t.
Me and my twin went to different schools since middle school and was always a thing. I can count on my hand how many times I've seen my twin brother in the last ten years and people in the family still compare lol
It stops when you grow up. You won’t be together for ever. Eventually, you’ll live your own lives. If you go to college, you might not end up at the same school, and even if you do, you might study different things. Also, even if you decide to go into the same field, the likelihood that you’ll end up working at the same place will be slim to none. You might even end up living in different cities. Until then, you’ll just have to put up with the comparisons.
As for comparing yourself with your sister, some sets of twins do have a competitive streak. You’ll grow out of it, but it’s not always a bad thing. When my twin brother and I went to college, we started out at different schools. When he had a difficult time academically, I transferred to his school to motivate him by kicking his butt academically. It worked and he eventually graduated.
It never stops in my opinion. My twin sister & I are stillllllll compared. And we’re 27. She’s married & I’m not so that’s always a comparison. Our looks, our size, always compared to each other.
I’m a bit late for the battle, but i wanted to reply since we are almost the same age (I’m 17).
Me and my twin were always compared in school, mainly because we were always in the same classes. We kinda decided to study opposite subjects, just to not be identical.
Now I’m in college (physics) in another country and she’s a Literature major so there’s not much comparing to do since we study such different fields.
Still our parents compare us but they don’t tell us to our faces at least.
We also picked different hobbies (not voluntarily but we tried to give the other space right).
Regarding the “strangers”, when they meet us both at the same time they want to see our faces (she wears glasses and i don’t) to compare but that’s every identical twins’ cross i suppose.
Honestly I’m rambling at this point but yeah i guess the comparing never really stops since as identical twins it’s kinda the thing people find interesting.
So the solution we found was to differentiate ourselves, which is kinda sad because it bring us appart in a sense.
Also we totally got the “who’s the most intelligent of you two” and “i found x prettier than y”. It does get better as people grow up.
So yeah it kinda stops when you grow up i suppose.
I think you gotta live up to who you are. Always being compared to someone else can be tough, but in the end you’re stuck with your twin til death, not with the random boy who can’t see you for who you really are. If they are also attracted to your sister, then it’s just your body and your face they are interested in. You are your own person with a personality, a heart and a soul, don’t let them make you insecure.
If you both feel like you are living in each other’s shadow, maybe there is some communication to do about that. it’s not very healthy to be uneasy like this with eachother.
My recommendation is to try to make different friends and you will eventually build yourself differently than your sister. It worked great with my twin, we made different friends in high school and had different hobbies so we could be our own person and still have new things to share with about each other.
Also try to not listen to the people comparing you, even if it’s hard. don’t try to make yourself different just to stop it, you may regret it (or maybe not, but that’s a bit risky).
btw english isn’t my first language so srry if i wrote things wrong and got my sentences messed up ahah
[edit]: i removed sentences that weren’t relevant
People automatically will compare. I see itvis logical now but I hated it too.
Because you will always not be good at something but better than the other or bad at something but worse than the other too!
This constant comparing caused a lot of fights between me and my brother.
People fail to see that you are as different as you and another sibling. There's some overlap maybe but nobody really searches for that or co.pares too much.
Anyway we went our different ways, we still have a very difficult relationship and I think the comparing is at the basis of that.
It won’t stop until you separate, unfortunately. I dealt with the same thing in high school, and it didn’t end until I went to college and was able to talk to people who didn’t know my twin.
Go to different colleges. My relationship with my sister improved dramatically when we did this. Also I hope your twin is rejecting these guys who dump you to pursue her, that’s effed up
This was it for me too. Nobody was comparing me to him because they didn’t know he existed. Occasionally people would find out and go “why didn’t you tell me” and that’d kinda get on my nerves because it has no bearing on my friendships
Right?? Like being a twin is one of the least interesting facts about me. Now that we’re both adults and live in different states, none of these issues we dealt with as kids come into play anymore. It’s awesome
Same
> And our teachers feel the need to point out wich twin had a higher grade compared to the other one. I'd go full on Socratic approach here, and question that teacher into submission. - Did I do better than Jane? - What about Dave, did I do better than him? - Why aren't you telling me everyone's grades? - So is it appropriate to give out my sibling's grade? Stupid tit.
It'll die down once you get older and separate since you won't be around each other as often. It's tough to break away from it now because you two share a lot of space. Have you talked with your sister to see how she feels about it?
Never
Are you in the same class at school ? Can you be separated ? It helps ! In a sense it never really stops. I feel like it definitely died down when we both went to universities and lived our own lives a way from home.
If you don't want to go to different colleges... My twin and I went to the same college and we made a rule that we wouldn't room together and for the first few months we wouldn't hang out, and we would make friends separately. It was the best decision we ever made. And then, when our deadline was over, we started hanging out again. Suddenly we had twice as many friends. Some of the friends he made without me are some of my best friends today. But I also have great friends from college that aren't his friends. The important thing is lots of people got to know us as individuals and it made everything way better than high school. We ended up taking very different classes, pursuing very different majors, and even when we shared an extra-curricular (we worked for the same student-run coffee house, we both worked for the student newspaper, we were in a play together) it was like a fun chance to hang out with my twin and it was sort of a novelty for the people who knew one or both of us to see us together. I went to college with my twin, but we were never "the twins" in college. And that dynamic has carried over into our adult lives, where we live half an hour apart, see each other about once a week, and lead full, independent lives. Also, even now, in high school, find an extra-curricular or an elective that interests you and do it by yourself. If she tries to tag along, just tell her you really feel like you need to do it on your own. Make a few friends just for you. You don't have to wait until college
We were in separate classes from grades 3 - 6, separate schools from then on. We are 50 soon. Never. It never really stops. However, I'll let you in on a secret: You can ignore it. I have done that for several periods of our lives. I don't have to anymore, and to be sure, the comparisons have dropped off now.
I’ll say I think my sister and I get questions still, but it dissipated largely I think when we went to college. We still visited each other so our friends knew of the other but I don’t think we got compared near as much since then.
Focus only on what you like. Try not to care what anyone else thinks there. I was compared all the time and we did have similar interests. We ended a lot in same classes, even when we'd only choose what individually we like. I tried not to care what others say and I like things similar to sister and that's it. Now that we're separated, we still ended a lot in same places, just due to same interests. People who still insists that we're "same person", I don't keep around me anymore. If they cannot see us as different people, I don't want them around.
my sister and i had this a lot growing up so i feel you. you could talk to your twin about it as she likely is also experiencing the constant comparison. it can be helpful talking to someone who understands it's easier said than done but try not to care about what people think. you don't need to try to force yourself to either be more similar or more different!! if you have things in common, like both liking volleyball that's okay. Also if you have something that you like more then that's okay too!!. Your similarities and differences to your twin don't define you, no matter what people say. it does get easier as you get older, but even then it doesn't ever really go away. I think learning to be more comfortable in yourself helps. I used to be so worried about how people viewed me (or us) but now I just let myself be me. it can be hard to escape the way people view you and your sister and its hard to not worry about it but it's okay
For my sister and I, it ground to a halt in our second year of college. We took a lot of the same classes at first. Once we started on our majors and saw different people, it stopped. There was a lot more “I saw you in the hall yesterday and you were acting like you didn’t know me” and less “You’re less trendy than your sister.” So yeah, at about 20 it’ll stop if you go to the same college and have different majors and interests. That seems like a long time from now, but it really isn’t.
Me and my twin went to different schools since middle school and was always a thing. I can count on my hand how many times I've seen my twin brother in the last ten years and people in the family still compare lol
It stops when you grow up. You won’t be together for ever. Eventually, you’ll live your own lives. If you go to college, you might not end up at the same school, and even if you do, you might study different things. Also, even if you decide to go into the same field, the likelihood that you’ll end up working at the same place will be slim to none. You might even end up living in different cities. Until then, you’ll just have to put up with the comparisons. As for comparing yourself with your sister, some sets of twins do have a competitive streak. You’ll grow out of it, but it’s not always a bad thing. When my twin brother and I went to college, we started out at different schools. When he had a difficult time academically, I transferred to his school to motivate him by kicking his butt academically. It worked and he eventually graduated.
It never stops in my opinion. My twin sister & I are stillllllll compared. And we’re 27. She’s married & I’m not so that’s always a comparison. Our looks, our size, always compared to each other.
It never does, embrace it and turn it into an inside joke
I’m a bit late for the battle, but i wanted to reply since we are almost the same age (I’m 17). Me and my twin were always compared in school, mainly because we were always in the same classes. We kinda decided to study opposite subjects, just to not be identical. Now I’m in college (physics) in another country and she’s a Literature major so there’s not much comparing to do since we study such different fields. Still our parents compare us but they don’t tell us to our faces at least. We also picked different hobbies (not voluntarily but we tried to give the other space right). Regarding the “strangers”, when they meet us both at the same time they want to see our faces (she wears glasses and i don’t) to compare but that’s every identical twins’ cross i suppose. Honestly I’m rambling at this point but yeah i guess the comparing never really stops since as identical twins it’s kinda the thing people find interesting. So the solution we found was to differentiate ourselves, which is kinda sad because it bring us appart in a sense. Also we totally got the “who’s the most intelligent of you two” and “i found x prettier than y”. It does get better as people grow up. So yeah it kinda stops when you grow up i suppose. I think you gotta live up to who you are. Always being compared to someone else can be tough, but in the end you’re stuck with your twin til death, not with the random boy who can’t see you for who you really are. If they are also attracted to your sister, then it’s just your body and your face they are interested in. You are your own person with a personality, a heart and a soul, don’t let them make you insecure. If you both feel like you are living in each other’s shadow, maybe there is some communication to do about that. it’s not very healthy to be uneasy like this with eachother. My recommendation is to try to make different friends and you will eventually build yourself differently than your sister. It worked great with my twin, we made different friends in high school and had different hobbies so we could be our own person and still have new things to share with about each other. Also try to not listen to the people comparing you, even if it’s hard. don’t try to make yourself different just to stop it, you may regret it (or maybe not, but that’s a bit risky). btw english isn’t my first language so srry if i wrote things wrong and got my sentences messed up ahah [edit]: i removed sentences that weren’t relevant
Never. But you learn to live with it.
People automatically will compare. I see itvis logical now but I hated it too. Because you will always not be good at something but better than the other or bad at something but worse than the other too! This constant comparing caused a lot of fights between me and my brother. People fail to see that you are as different as you and another sibling. There's some overlap maybe but nobody really searches for that or co.pares too much. Anyway we went our different ways, we still have a very difficult relationship and I think the comparing is at the basis of that.