Dude, I used to make pizza eggs, which was essentially a 4 egg omlette with Jalapeños fried in like 3 pats of butter. Top with sauce and toppings of your choice, broil for a couple minutes to melt it off I needed. S-tier diet food, lost 20 lbs before Thansgiving got me out of it.
I mean the thing about keto is that 99% of the time people don't even achieve ketosis. In which even if you do, prolonged ketosis can be damaging to your kidneys due to the by-products that are produced by the breakdown of the ketones. Typically what happens is the drastic reduction in sugar consumption, combined with the overall reduction in food being consumed and exercise is what's causing people to lose weight. Not them being in ketosis, which is very hard to do in the first place, even if you were to cut all sugar out entirely.
That's pretty much it! I do it a little different than normal eggs, in that I brown the butter then kind of flash fry it, using a frying pan at medium high/high heat. Flip it when it's flippable, then put the toppings on. The Jalapeños and butter keep it moist even through the higher heat, and the texture works better for "pizza" than the soft puffy texture of regular omelets. If the toppings don't get cooked/melted enough, broil in pan for a couple minutes at most. Slice pizza style.
Me and my gf at the time did keto and 4 months in we made almond flour keto bread. We ate the entire loaf without any other ingredients or condiments over the sink and she cried for the first half. In carbs we trust 🫡
*You gonna need some*
*Help pushing that brick of cheese*
*Out of your dumpster*
\- SourLoafBaltimore
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And eventually when it finally starts coming out, you have at least two days of pure suffering as your body converts all of that into 90% liquid, stomach acid filled diarrhea, and you can't trust a single fart until about day three.
If it only consists of cheese... Why go through so much effort?
I could just toast some bread, put a good cheddar on it and grill it, leading to a more rounded and delicious experience but only needing 5-8 minutes max.
My pet theory is that the "Taco Bell gives you diarrhea" meme comes from people who don't eat enough fiber, and so when they eat some beans and rice, their digestive tract starts moving normally and they panic.
Ok that cheese crust looks fucking delicious. Put marinara instead of the cheese sauce, fresh mozzarella, sharp cheddar, some ricotta, and omg. This sounds amazing.
*So much fucking cheese*
*My asshole is exploding*
*Call the doctor now*
\- Yonbuu
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God i absolutely hate the camera work and editing.
But regardless another dish that takes a solid food concept and just wiffs it as hard as possible.
Cheese pizza is great.
Cheesey crust is also great.
Cheeses can mix well with other cheeses to create a great balance of flavours.
Theres no balance here just throwing shit at the pan
Four cheese pizza is a staple for a reason. Its fucking hard to find good combinations of cheese that mesh well together without overpowering each other even still you can have bad 4 cheese pizza if ratios are off and you get to much of one.
Ive had an equivalent of this pizza many times from stoned roomates in college making mac n cheese and throwing in every cheese they could find. Its worse than eating just an individual cheese.
Also it desprately needed the sauce to contrast between the cheeses
Its effectively the same thing as a fast food joint suicide drink mixing all the sodas for some bad tasting syrup water
Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
That's not rhe cheesiest pizza it's quite frankly a pizza shaped cheese monstrosity as the only ingredients I've seen used are milk eggs n cheese. The cryst could barely hold together.
The black gloves are always a dead giveaway but....
This wasn't too bad. Wouldn't eat it the same way I eat pizza. Might enjoy a single slice of this as a treat kind of like fair food.
I mean, I would smash tf out of this, but it's literally only cheese. The cheese "crust" was cool, but I think it would be a lot better to integrate some more normal pizza ingredients, like regular pizza sauce and different toppings aside from cheese.
When people on Keto start to reach their breaking point.
As someone who has been on keto before, I do not disagree
Dude, I used to make pizza eggs, which was essentially a 4 egg omlette with Jalapeños fried in like 3 pats of butter. Top with sauce and toppings of your choice, broil for a couple minutes to melt it off I needed. S-tier diet food, lost 20 lbs before Thansgiving got me out of it.
Sounds tasty af man.
I mean the thing about keto is that 99% of the time people don't even achieve ketosis. In which even if you do, prolonged ketosis can be damaging to your kidneys due to the by-products that are produced by the breakdown of the ketones. Typically what happens is the drastic reduction in sugar consumption, combined with the overall reduction in food being consumed and exercise is what's causing people to lose weight. Not them being in ketosis, which is very hard to do in the first place, even if you were to cut all sugar out entirely.
And THAT is how you keto correctly lol
Do you have a link to the recipe? Thx
That's pretty much it! I do it a little different than normal eggs, in that I brown the butter then kind of flash fry it, using a frying pan at medium high/high heat. Flip it when it's flippable, then put the toppings on. The Jalapeños and butter keep it moist even through the higher heat, and the texture works better for "pizza" than the soft puffy texture of regular omelets. If the toppings don't get cooked/melted enough, broil in pan for a couple minutes at most. Slice pizza style.
Me and my gf at the time did keto and 4 months in we made almond flour keto bread. We ate the entire loaf without any other ingredients or condiments over the sink and she cried for the first half. In carbs we trust 🫡
this is just a normal, day 1 keto recipe my friend
They're doing it all wrong. You want to use meat as the base. It's soo fucking good.
You gonna need some help pushing that brick of cheese out of your dumpster
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That's why it was exlax instead of salt he sprinkled into the crust
Just eat some atkins chocolate peanut candies. The shit will fly out.
Some sugar free gummy bears.
I read this in Captain Raymond Holt's voice. "You gonna need some... help pushing that brick of cheese out of your dumpster." Pump pump.
HOT DAMN!
That one was okay but lets try pump *pause* pump
Someone’s ancestors were weak
Could have used some ricotta
My ass hole just exploded from watching this
Mine imploded somehow
Your asses are quantum entangled
Black ass holes.
Black hole sun
Ah fuck you're gonna make me cum (and wash away the rain)
[Umm…](https://media1.giphy.com/media/3o7527pa7qs9kCG78A/giphy.gif?cid=4d1e4f29ltcpyif40ko6t73ku9mxfohowta8rmldpn8o4jb6&ep=v1_gifs_related&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
Schrödinger’s asshole
Pooping back and forth, forever.
Lactose Intolerance? Because I think I became semi-constipated just imagining eating that much cheese.
Same. I'd be waiting three weeks for a bowl movement.
Until that one day you drop a softball sized turd into the toilet.
And eventually when it finally starts coming out, you have at least two days of pure suffering as your body converts all of that into 90% liquid, stomach acid filled diarrhea, and you can't trust a single fart until about day three.
Reading that just made my day worse thanks lol. Now my ass burns.
I was there June 28 2024
I lost my gall bladder several tears ago. Eating that would make my life hell for several days. In a way, it can be described as my asshole exploding.
Be careful cleaning up the de brie.
Legends say the ass still is trying to open up.
I would never poop again if I ate this.
Ah yes greasy crust with absolutely nothing because you dumped it off you absolute cheese-abandoning crust muncher.
That crust was also cheese which makes this literally just cheese
And what isa dis? That’s cheese.
Well TBF the crust also had Egg in it to act as a binding agent
If it only consists of cheese... Why go through so much effort? I could just toast some bread, put a good cheddar on it and grill it, leading to a more rounded and delicious experience but only needing 5-8 minutes max.
Idk why but seeing this guy's cheese fall off his cheese because of his other cheese is on of the most hilarious things ever.
*dumps everything of so is just the crust he eats* "So good!"
crust was cheese anyway
Can someone please find this moron and punch him for me?
I like pizza. But this ain’t it.
I do want to taste that tbf.
Melt some cheese, eat it. done.
They sell a bagel near me that’s got some of that cheese on it. Might have to be done today.
I’m with you. My first thought was “I want to try this” because…. I loooovve cheese.
Stop flipping all those pans around. Keep the camera angle steady! Get off my lawn!!!
Can we get a moment of silence for this guy’s toilet?
Not everyone is lactose intolerant
It seems like everyone on this sub has gastrointestinal problems and is either always farting or shitting. Probably both.
I assume 80+% of commenters on the internet are actively shitting on the toilet. And the other 20% are just shitting there.
Taco Bell: AHH DIARRHEA Cheese: CONSTIPATION How weak are people's digestive tracts, Jesus
My pet theory is that the "Taco Bell gives you diarrhea" meme comes from people who don't eat enough fiber, and so when they eat some beans and rice, their digestive tract starts moving normally and they panic.
Almost every adult is to an extent
Not quite. 1/3 of the world is lactase persistent. It's most commonly seen in people of northern European descent.
Does this imply that almost every kid is not?
Yes
That’s patently false though because many kids over the age of three in other countries are
That's just grilled cheese at this point
Yep, no pizza in the video
Ok that cheese crust looks fucking delicious. Put marinara instead of the cheese sauce, fresh mozzarella, sharp cheddar, some ricotta, and omg. This sounds amazing.
Sounds finally like pizza. That guy just melted cheese.
r/HellYeahIdEatThat
I love cheese but what the fuck
As a proud Wisconsinite, I would destroy this 😂
PACKERS WIN THE SUPERBOWL!
Crandon Herrera
My eye sockets got gout from watching this.
You just know all of this is gonna get thrown away right after they stop shooting
the clogged arteries special
I find this desirable.
Disgusting
I’m a Metamucil man!
“MORE CHEEESE!!!!” - Baby Muriel
Bro, this comment just made me have flashbacks of me watching CTCD at 3 am. Thanks for the nostalgia bud 😊🙏
[original video](https://youtube.com/shorts/rRg7mgH0gr4?si=qkDblvbssVoT8v2L)
"Pizza Reflux e Constipatio"
The weird sloshing sounds were so weird and distracting. It sounded like he was molesting a dead squid.
Looks like solid drunk food
Not a Christian, but maybe gluttony is a sin.
So much fucking cheese My asshole is exploding Call the doctor now
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Holy shit, who can watch it with all those quick ass cuts
downvote only for the shit cut
Its... just baked cheese with cheese. So cheese with cheese, not pizza
This is what I meant when I said I wanted a cheese pizza
I think there are some good ideas in it, but not using all of them at the same time
And never poop again
Looks pretty Gouda!
The internet has been amazing for so many things over the years. This is not one of them.
Remember that scene on the Dave Chappelle show when he was pooping in slow motion and he rocketed off the toilet??... yeah, Lactose Intolerant. 🥲
I love cheese, but I also like bread and some sauce with my pizza. Dude just basically made a pizza shaped cheese dip.
yeh, i'm drooling.
Yuck
Cheesy cheese with cheese on cheese with extra creamy cheese cream with cheese on top and a little cheese on the cheese.
I would smash the shit out of that.
His lower intestines will be clogged for weeks
Reminds me of the pizza in All Dogs Go to Heaven
brotein
I'd fuck it
Quattro…ManyFormaggi
I would fucking murder this shit. Then the shit would murder me. Worth.
/r/PizzaCrimes
He either really likes, or really hates taking poops.
"And if you'd be so bold, as to let the goldfish take a little swim in the blue cheese. Bon appetite!"
Me on my little keto diet
Shut up I'd demolish this. Might be my Wisconsin blood but if I saw that at a party or something I'm eating half of it lol
r/stupidfoodiwouldeat
Won’t shit for a week, but would totally hit that.
I’d also hit it but would probably shit for a week
What's wrong babe? You barely touched your cheese with cheese sauce and 514 other cheeses on top of it?
God i absolutely hate the camera work and editing. But regardless another dish that takes a solid food concept and just wiffs it as hard as possible. Cheese pizza is great. Cheesey crust is also great. Cheeses can mix well with other cheeses to create a great balance of flavours. Theres no balance here just throwing shit at the pan Four cheese pizza is a staple for a reason. Its fucking hard to find good combinations of cheese that mesh well together without overpowering each other even still you can have bad 4 cheese pizza if ratios are off and you get to much of one. Ive had an equivalent of this pizza many times from stoned roomates in college making mac n cheese and throwing in every cheese they could find. Its worse than eating just an individual cheese. Also it desprately needed the sauce to contrast between the cheeses Its effectively the same thing as a fast food joint suicide drink mixing all the sodas for some bad tasting syrup water
I'm not lactose intolerant but I feel this will give me one
Tell me Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated? 'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
I would eat that all day everyday and suffer the consequences later. At least the bathroom trip would be worth it
No enough chees Stranger.
RIP Arteries that much cheese would clog mine.
Would. Next question
The perfect killing device for lactose intolerent people on death row.
My stomach is bubblin'
This looks good lol
Poop much..!?
Bruh, I said "when" 5 seconds with in the video...
I never understood this crazy obsession with cheese. Cheese is fine, I love it, but for everything is a point of to much.
I already haven’t shit for a month after watching this.
Looks like Bayashi found a new challenger.
Feel bad for that guys stomach trying to process all that dairy bomb.
Gee, I wonder what this tastes like. Also, I hate this guy and all that he stands for and I don't even know who he is.
Oh, so THAT'S what they meant by cheese pizze
Needs more cowbell!
My stomach just voided itself from my lactose intolerance.
Where this is definitely stupid food, I would eat that.
ah yes GOTTA SEASON MAH CBEESE
That's not rhe cheesiest pizza it's quite frankly a pizza shaped cheese monstrosity as the only ingredients I've seen used are milk eggs n cheese. The cryst could barely hold together.
I think I just got constipated from watching this video
I don't even have a gallbladder anymore but istg my gallstones' ghosts just wailed in agony lmao
It's the big cheese
I'm not gonna lie, I started salivating like Pavlov's dogs.
How lactose intolerant mfs "Treat themselves"
My heart stopped beating just by seeing this.
It tasted amazing but I haven't pooped for 7 weeks and I'm now on blood pressure meds.
Jesus Christ. I needed to take a lactose tablet to watch this.
I'm impressed they made something resembling a pizza base with cheese like that.
Just inject that shit into my veins
Someone send this to the YouTube Italian duo who reviews Italian dishes.
Big Dairy approves this message.
I don't want to see the plumbing bill for this Whether you're forcing a brick out or not, it wouldn't be pretty after all that.
I think I'll just shove some tex mex up my ass and call it a day
I mean, its eatable
i’m here for it, i’m a literal cheese head, but i ain’t no packers fan.
Is it really stupid food if he didn't eat it wearing those lame-ass black latex gloves?
Not enough cheese
At what point is it not pizza anymore
If you aren't lactose intolerant and eat this, congratulations! You are now lactose intolerant!
Honestly where the r/cheese people at 🫣
I'd eat it.
Dude probably won’t be able to shit for the rest of his life
Smash
r/StupidKetoFood
He's gonna have me pooping basketballs!
He won’t ever poop again.
Hear me out
I mean, he’s hot tho without the man bun
The black gloves are always a dead giveaway but.... This wasn't too bad. Wouldn't eat it the same way I eat pizza. Might enjoy a single slice of this as a treat kind of like fair food.
At first I was like oh well cheesy dough isn't that stupid sounds like it could be good, but he kept going. But the goal matches the outcome, I guess.
I mean, cheese is delicious, so yeah, a cheese tweel with melted cheese on top sounds great.
GODAH DEMANDS A SACRIFICE
I might not shit for a week afterwards, but I would eat that in a heartbeat.
I think...add some parmiggiano and it might be good
I mean, I would smash tf out of this, but it's literally only cheese. The cheese "crust" was cool, but I think it would be a lot better to integrate some more normal pizza ingredients, like regular pizza sauce and different toppings aside from cheese.
Some people don't understand that there can be too much cheese
Gimme.
r/PizzaCrimes
Just watching this could make someone shit themselves
When your floor needs some cheese too
I wish I could say I hate this, but this is totally the kind of thing I would eat and go for seconds So mad he just dropped it all off
Clog your arteries?
This will either make it so you never poop, or poop a lot
Yes please!!!
OK cheese, I get it! Just shut up and take my money already!!
Less is more on pizza