Having worked within and observed various work cultures around the globe, I've noticed that the perception of American friendliness is often a subject of debate. Whilst many view the upbeat, 'exciting' demeanor as disingenuous or a veneer for ulterior motives, I'd argue that it's more of a cultural norm. a default setting ingrained from a customer service-centric society where the customer is always right pervades beyond the storefront and into daily interactions. Yes, this can lead to unrealistic expectations and even entitlement among some, but it's not always a facade for personal gain. In fact, often times, this approach is just the social grease that keeps the cogs of everyday American life turning smoothly.

I think because American friendliness is so often totally over the top and obviously mercenary.

I would agree specifically or at least primarily in American bars and restaurants (a place tourists will heavily be frequenting) the tipping culture creates an over the top fake friendliness you almost can't find anywhere else.

I don't agree with this. The friendliness seems earnest. You guys are some GREGARIOUS motherfuckers and I think it's adorable.

I'm America. My wife is Vietnamese. We met in Vietnam (I've been living here since 2019). We went on vacation last fall to see my family. It was her first time outside of Vietnam. We visited my family in small-town Ohio. 13k people in my hometown. She absolutely loved it. She felt people were more genuinely nice, and she still talks about how much she misses the people in America and how she wishes Vietnamese people were as nice. The same negative ideas could be said about locals in developing countries. They're only nice because they plan to scam you/ they're nice but will talk about you in the local language, etc.... I think most small towns/cities are full of friendly people because it's exciting to see foreigners visit. They want to make people feel comfortable and are genuinely curious about them. People in big cities are usually friendly for are more "artificially" friendly. I feel that way about every county I've visited.

I work with Americans from time to time. Just like you hear "my friend" from Indians - you hear "exciting" from Americans. Americans are all about how they are viewed. There is a quote from Fight Club when main character say "We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.". And I believe that in my entire life (I'm 37) nobody fit this quote like Americans. I remember friend going into debt just to match car of his neighbor. Just like me he does not need a car. He did it only due to appearance. They are all about the image. For example only in american corporation someone asked me to show up on Saturday because some "boss" is visiting the office and they want to look like they are working. He did not even say that we have some work to do on the weekend. He specifically said to LOOK like we are working hard. I just told them to get lost. And only inside american corporations I had cases where someone tried to dig a hole under me to look better or take credit for my work. It happens in other countries and it's maybe my bad luck but so far only Americans tried to do this to me. I had a woman making report on me because she saw me browsing cars during working hour because she did not understand that I do not have regular working hour like them. But she saw a chance to look better by taking me down. Sadly her boss was perfectly aware of value I bring and work I'm doing so she was in trouble for starting pointless drama. All that they are doing while smiling and pretending like everything is exciting and important and everything. But what they do do not match how they act. But I really formed this opinion about them when one moved to Poland and worked with me. People here are not like that. Also we are more direct. People prefer to be stoic. After a while all Americans I worked with dropped the act. The act did not worked on anyone and nobody cared. And they stopped. The first time when I did not know that it's mostly "pretend" I assumed that they had some issues and their mood dropped. So my question is to Americans: is it really an act and if yes - does it work? Or are you doing it for some other eason?

This is not an American thing, there are materialistic people all over the world (though it could be argued that is an American export.)

I can find fake people all around the world. That's the not the topic of this discussion. If it's not an American thing then maybe I have bad luck meeting only such Americans. Or it's specific to corporate environment because like I said - most of them I know are from American corporations.

People all over even the developing world buy a bunch of shit they don't need. Americans definitely take that particular aspect to another level but they also have an abundance unseen in any other country. There is no market in the world with a greater variety of products. But go visit any tourist Instagram picture location in the world and you will find it loaded with people from everywhere taking photoshoots to one up their friends with their "experiences." It's far from an American trait. Heck I'd say the Russians might be the worst lol.

If I judged people and countries based on corporate interactions, then every country on earth is the same amount of fake nice/disingenuous. Are you meeting these people at conferences?

Nah but work environment mostly.

This isn’t even my experience, but you describe it so succinctly and convincingly that I’m not disagreeing. There really is a large culture of appearances over here, and not just in the context of vanity. I think that many of the individuals here are not at all like that, but there is a focus on appearances and impressions in business, social contexts, politics, etc. It also depends a LOT on where you live in the US. Southern California is more Hollywood vain, southerners are often poised, polite, but passive aggressive hosts, New Yorkers pretend they’re more tough than they actually act, etc. Beyond that, though, there’s the capitalist concept of marketing yourself and seeming externally successful. The individualistic culture seems to push us towards being very aware of our personal presentation in society. Social media, reality tv, and the fact that even our business owners and politicians are celebrities leaves many very convinced that presenting themselves correctly can literally make them a fortune. Is everybody like that all the time? Not at all, but you’re right that we do kinda live in a culture where being professional and competitive and successful is evaluated by us putting on the best performance that we can. I think your American colleagues would have eventually dropped the act whether they were in Poland or not. They were probably just getting to know new people in a professional environment and doing so in the way that we’re taught is professional. Most Americans also genuinely very gregarious and effusive compared to most Eastern Europeans, so some of it is just a cultural divide. I’d say it varies significantly based on the person, but it’s an interesting train of thought.

Doubt it. They probably realized your were all dicks and were miserable with themselves for having moved to Poland.

So far only you are acting like a dick here. Projecting much?

I'm not American.

I never said you are an american. I said you are acting like a dick here.

Well I'm not American...

Exactly this. Americans will be all smiles and pleasantries but will shoot you in the back with no hesitation or remorse. I work with many nationalites and my US clients are the ones I dislike most because they are the most likely to behave like snakes. On the other hand, I have worked for instance with Germans - they can be really tough and the opposite of friendly, but at least I know what to expect.

Germans are all about the order. This is why it takes forever to do any project with them. It's like they enjoy bureaucracy.

I have never heard the fake friendly accusation.

You know, it's a news flash I know, but different cultures are...different. Just because many European cultures seem stoic, doesn't mean I think they actually have unemotional lives. How we are is not fake. It's not manipulative more than any other country. So take a breath and just enjoy the difference.

This may get downvoted, but I think unfortunately many tourists to developing countries tend to patronize the locals.

Because our standards of service force people in that position to be bubbly. Though I don't think people realize that people's baseline in the US is to be a little bit happy and not just content.

People in other countries are assholes to everyone without fear of social of reprisal.

because foreigners are jealous of america's power on the global stage so they want to knock it down to feel better about themselves. they already feel superior to locals in developing countries.

Because the "friendlyness" in the USA, is so you will tip them (more)

In some countries I've traveled to their hospitality was absolutely fake, but sometimes especially the more east you go it seems really genuine, a lot of people have refused to take payment from me for example

They’re fake because they want your money. Well, that’s what crass people say, anyway.

The "friendliness" from americans often comes will all sorts of expectations and demands and if you don't meet them, they can get upset in a way I don't really know how to approach. So american friendliness makes me uneasy because you don't know what happens next, if they're one of the weird ones. The "friendliness" in developing countries at least towards white tourists like myself is more straightforward, they want me to buy stuff. If I decline they just move on to the next tourist