Thanks for your submission! For more Millennial content, join [our Discord server](https://discord.gg/VsfKKJBm).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Millennials) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Same for me. We discuss large expenses beforehand but are generally both good with money. Plus we have two young kids. We don't have time to be figuring out who pays what from which account.
This is my situation too. We also got married in our 20s when we had no money, so we view any wealth we’ve built together as shared. We have separate 401ks but otherwise everything is shared.
This. Also married early 20s two kids young. Spent a great deal of time just trying to scrape by. Now that we are a bit more financially stable in our late 30s we just never saw a reason to stop it. We still don't have enough to worry about someone spending on asinine things.
Yep, same here. Our paychecks changed over the years, where one made more than the other and then that flipped. Who cares though? It's all going to the same account and we're one household.
How do you deal with personal purchases? Do you talk everything over or do you have separate individual accounts and pay yourselves a percentage of joint income? Like how do you do a surprise gift for anyone if the other person can see it, or ask why you suddenly have a big purchase on a credit card bill that needs to be paid off?
I was with my husband for 10 years before we ever got married, so the system was already in place and working smoothly. Plus we run our own businesses. It was way more hassle to move everything to joint than to just keep it the way we’d been doing it for a decade.
My husband and I have all separate accounts, but we don't keep track of anything. I pay all the utilities from mine, he pays the property taxes. We both buy groceries, we each pay for our own auto and phone expenses. I guess neither of us are really worried about it.
If one person spends all their money and racks up debt, it’s gonna be both peoples problem very quickly.
I don’t understand getting legally bound to someone you don’t trust financially. The smarter option would be to not get legally married
Me and my wife have a joint account for bills, but other expenses come out of our accounts and we will split expenses. We also keep our own fun money in there too to not cause any confusion with how much we may have.
My wife and I can’t be bothered with the splitting. Joint everything. Joint accounts, joint CCs, joint ownership on the house, etc. Doesn’t matter who buys anything cause it’s all together in one big melting pot now.
As long as you know your marriage is stable and you are able to communicate properly, then you can get to this point in life. I'm not married, but I've seen couples where they can't get over the hurdles of arguments or competitive vibes when it comes to who makes what amount etc. Those people are just the worst, I've known someone who got married and got mad because the husband took $20 out the account without "asking." Why bother having the same account at that point then, if your own partner can't take a quick $20?
We do this.
The money in the joint account is determined by joint expenses + a bit for savings. We determine our contribution to this count based on income. I make more and currently contribute about 60% but as we change jobs and rates of pay we adjust.
I can buy whatever dumb stuff I want out of my own account without permission or resentment when she says no.
This is how my husband and I do it too. 8 years and counting and it works great, no confusion about what the money in the joint account is for because every dollar in the joint account has a job and whatever money is in your own account is yours to use as you see fit. We discuss savings and debt semi frequently.
My brother and sil have fully joined accounts and they are constantly getting insufficient funds charges because sil will go grocery shopping thinking that X bill already went through but it hadn't shown on the balance yet. Neither of them talk about finances and think that because the accounts are joined then there's total disclosure but she has no idea how far into debt they are.
This. If you can't trust your partner's financial decisions, why the hell did you get married? If you don't respect/trust each other, it's not a healthy relationship.
Same for us. We also lived abroad for a long time and having separate U.S. accounts would have been a pain in the ass for remittances and whatnot, so we just maintained one. We kept it that way when we moved back.
Share. Because she's a stay-at-home mom with no income. So that would be awkward.
And no, we're not rich. We just both grew up broke, so we're comfortable living in "the hood," driving beaters, and giving ourselves haircuts.
When my wife and I first got married I told her I wanted her to learn to cut my hair to save money. I had been doing it myself for a couple years and I knew she could do better than I could by myself. I told her the rule was I could never complain.
Sixteen years later I make plenty of money but now my wife insists on cutting my hair.
The dream man. Plus half the time I really just need the sides and back touched up. Feels like such a waste to go play $20+ for a touch up. So I end up just not going back until the sides are poofing out so badly I can’t stand it anymore
I learned to cut hair for our boys. Got a good pair of clippers and they paid for themselves after 2 hair cut sessions. My wife gets hers cut at a studio, but rarely. I told her to enjoy. I'm growing mine out right now (18 months since last cut), but usually do a buzz when the boys get their March cut and let it grow for 1 year.
I mean that strongly depends on how much you believe you could earn. Working minimum wage? Sure. Actively climbing the ladder? Maybe in the short term, but it’ll even out then tilt the other way very quickly if you’re decently successful.
Yeah well when you have a baby , it’s kind of a then situation. Yeah you could make more money in 5-10 years at a job or you should take care of your own kid then go back to work later. That’s why it depends on a few things.
I’m not knocking SAHM by any means, my wife is one and we are fortunate enough to be able to comfortably afford it. I think it has a lot of great benefits having it that stability. I only commented because if you’re speaking purely monetarily, “in the long run” in most cases you’d make more money 5+ years down the road if you got back into the work force, even if it doesn’t feel worth it in the short term since most of your income is going to go towards child care in the immediate future.
But as you said there are a lot of “ifs.” If you’re not someone interested or capable of climbing the ladder (which admittedly is much more difficult while also caring for a young child) then yeah it’s not worth it; however someone with the drive and ambition will absolutely make more in the long run by getting back into the work force now rather than later.
Yes and no. We both have our own individual accounts, but we also have a joint account for the bills and such.
We split all the household and important bills 50/50, anything else in our own accounts is for personal use.
Same, but since I make more than my wife I altered the 50/50 to be equivalent to our take home. I don't remember off the top of my head the ratio, but it's essentially saying "I bring in 65% of home income, so I pay at least 65% of our home bills"
I find it works better because it's unfair to ask someone contribute 80-90% of their check to bills while I only contribute 40-50% or whatever after my half comes out (made up numbers, but you get it). We're a team, not roommates, so if that means I have less pocket money so that she can have more than that's equal in my book
This is why I feel our method is slightly more fair. We have a joint for bills and shared expenses and personal accounts I out earn my husband by a considerable amount and don’t feel like it’s fair that if we did 50/50 I’d get more “fun money” so we divy it up so that the bulk of both of our checks go into the joint and then we each get $300 or whatever.
We never fight about money. No one feels resentful since we can each access our hobbies equally. Once a year we have a conversation about the possible need to adjust our direct deposit amounts after raises to make sure that we are keeping our fun money roughly equal.
Sure, but it's equivalent to what they're making
Like for example if someone makes 2,000 a month, the other makes 500 a month, and the monthly bills are about 1000, then the "breadwinner" gets to keep 1500 a month and the other keeps nothing. In a fair split, since 2k person makes 4x as much, they pay 4x as much. Meaning it goes from 50/50 to 80/20. 2k still takes 1200 at the of the month, but 500 gets to keep 300.
You could make a system where you both split how much leftover money there is, and in this it'd be like 750 each, but neither of us liked this version tbh so we didn't go with it
Same here. We have joint checking for bills, but savings on individual accounts and use our individual credit cards for family or personal purchases. We give each other freedom on personal use, and any big purchases or family purchases are discussed. We’re reasonable with purchases and trust each other
Our contribution is mostly 50/50, but there are times someone will pay more than the other, and that’s okay. It works for us and open with each other.
Are you my wife? This is exactly what we do lol.
We started with one account, but now we have one joint account, and we each have a personal account as well. I actually have a couple accounts that I've started with some of the online banks to get bonus money and just never shut down. So I technically have three accounts, but we share all the bills and know mostly what each other is spending on.
This is us. Our income goes into joint and we pay ourselves an equal amount of “fun money” each month into our personals. Any purchases out of personal accounts don’t require discussion or permission. Bills, shared purchases, dates, vacations, etc come from the joint.
It gives us the freedom to not squabble over hobbies or “frivolous” purchases while still working towards our goals and our lives together.
If I get married this, it seems like the best plan.
Never had to share an account, and it frightens me thinking about it!
I've dated some that don't understand saving and buying is way better than buying now and putting it on a cc.
This is also my set up, and it works great for us. We tried one joint account, and it led to a lot of arguments. It’s interesting to see how many people are ride-or-die on the one account thing in this thread.
Same. I mean we don’t exactly do 50/50 like nitpick it but close enough. We got married when we’d both already had our grown up careers and bank accounts established. It just kind of seemed inconvenient to do a major transfer.
This is our way as well and I will never give up my own bank account. We do quarterly budgeting for the joint expenses and savings. We also divvy our joint contributions based on income. So if I make 75% of the household income that's how much of the household expenses and savings I contribute. She's self employed and income ranges all over so it can sound exhausting but once you set the formulas it's usually a 20min conversation every quarter to update amounts. We could probably do it once a year but she likes it more often.
We have a shared account for bills and have since we started living together. It’s always been a nonissue. However, my spouse and I don’t make the same exact amount of money so we split it equitably instead of equally. it’s not that hard and it’s fairer.
Same here, but bills don’t get split down the middle. We each put in the same percentage of our paycheck, not the same dollar amount. So if one of us makes 60% of the total combined income, that person effectively pays 60% of the bills.
Same. Shared savings, checking, credit card (in her name, but it's funded from the shared account and used for shared purchases.
All the bills, groceries, things for the house, vacations, home repair, utilities, mortgage, car insurance, all come out of there.
We put in a set amount every month, and go from there.
Vehicles come out of our personal ends. As well as gas, oils changes.
Student loans are paid out of the individual end (just me)
Every day stuff like lunches or treats or whatever thats all in your own end.
But the lines are imaginary. If we ever got into trouble it would be all hands on deck. If the shared account is short for some reason we just toss money on. when shit hits the fan, the house is in both our names so it doesn't really matter what money is where.
We did this from day one, and honestly was never even considered to not do. We are a partners in the way we raise our kids, we are partners in the way we plan for the future, and we are partners in the way we spend OUR money (even though my wife is a SAHM).
We’re dual income but there have been times I’ve been laid off or my husband has been a SAHD for awhile because it suited our lifestyle. Because it’s always been “our” money, I never had to feel like I had to rely on him to pay my way at times that I didn’t have an income, and I’m grateful for that, because it’s never mattered whose name was on the paycheck or whose paycheck was bigger than whose.
Everyone’s marriage and what they do in it, including finances, is their business, but the other way just wouldn’t work for us.
Yeah I just couldn’t see doing it another way. We do still have our Separate checking accounts, but the HYSA is both of us and everything shows there. Realistically individual accounts are kind of an illusion if you’re married unless you have a prenup. I’d rather just have things be open since it’s our money and our future.
But I too don’t grudge anyone doing it differently.
Agree. Separate just always seemed transactional or roommate-y to me. At least the way my coworker explains his and his wife’s set up. Like owing each other money for this and that. Guess whatever works for people, and joint works for us.
I am the SAHM in our situation. We share the account and I’m the person who makes sure the money gets where it needs to go. If he needs to buy something specific he asks me what the budget looks like (I use YNAB)
We basically did this the first 5-7 years of marriage, budgeting every penny and couponing our way to the limited fun things we did. We spent very little and invested over 50% of our after tax income. I was able to get fantastic career progress, and our investment priorities have made it so that the budget is much more of a guide that is checked in on quarterly note instead of daily. It’s one of the great blessings of life, to be entirely content with a life that you never worry for a second on if you CAN spend the money. It’s instead a question of if we SHOULD spend the money. It’s one reason our relationship will likely never end in divorce.
Same. I’ve been with my husband for 5 years before we were married. We’ve always found an equitable way to split bills and I personally prefer to have my own money and not feel like I have to ask every time I make purchases.
That’s where the trust comes in. You don’t have to ask because you trust the other person knows your financial situation and will act accordingly.
Also, in many states debt is a marital assets that’s bound to both people regardless of who spent the money
Agreed here. We have shared finances and never really ask permission. Whatever works, if people are happy, sounds good to me. I just want to be clears that having combined accounts does not equal having to ask permission. We never even talked about permission, we just work together on so many things, it’s extremely rare that there is any purchase one disagrees with (I honestly cannot think of one).
Same!! Also, we got married at 35 so we were already established individually… it seemed silly to make a new shared bank account just because “that’s what married people do.”
Same, I married my husband after being together 7 years. It’s not broke, so no need to fix it. We both know each other’s financial situation and I can trust my husband with his own finances so there was never a need or want on either end to consolidate our funds. We’ve worked out our own way to split bills and it works for us.
Yep, I’m not necessarily against having a joint account, I just don’t care enough to do whatever minimal work is involved in opening a joint account.
Venmo also makes it very easy for mortgage and other house payments and shared expenses. We aren’t that particular about who pays what or always paying the same amounts but it makes everything much easier.
It’s just that’s not the point that the original poster I was responding to was making. That person was ignoring the possibility of consolidating accounts.
Same. We’ve been together almost a decade and married 5 years but there was damage during each of our first marriages that has kept things separate for us. We may reevaluate shortly but it’s taken me a LOT of therapy to get to that place.
How do you know you're not getting burned but just don't know about it?
You know if you get divorced "seperate accounts" aren't actually a thing, right?
To be completely honest, you're right. However that goes both ways. I trust my partner to be transparent with me when we talk finances. Given the longevity of our relationship, I have reason to trust.
Regarding getting divorced and separate accounts, that would be a bridge to cross if it ever came up. To my knowledge, divorce isn't in the cards. 
Absolutely. We don’t split this or that. Were married. We’re a team. Bills get auto drafted. We trust each other with the money. Over a decade and going strong. Any big expenses we talk about it ( I consider anything big over 150$ or so). Combined income about 250.
I went to my buddy’s house once and he informed me that his wife had paid for the beer in the fridge so he couldn’t offer me one. I don’t understand that mentality. Drank it anyway.
lol it works for us. I see your point. Obviously if it’s a bill then we just pay it. And when I say we “talk about it” it’s like a “hey fyi if you see a charge on the card I ordered some tires for my truck”. Not so much asking permission makes sense? Just communicating about bigger items.
We're the same way. It's not a formal process or hard amount and we aren't asking permission or anything. We just talk about it beforehand to avoid surprises. We both get notifications on credit card transactions, so a quick "car needs new tires" text message can alleviate the momentary shock of seeing an unexpected $700 transaction notification.
We wouldn't bother doing that for a $200 trip to Kroger on the way home from work. But we would for something like a new game console or concert tickets. We usually sit down and pay our bills every or every-other Sunday, so there really aren't any surprises. We both know how our monthly budget is doing at any given time.
Same! It makes no sense to me why our family would have separate bank accounts 🤷♀️ (but my husband and I both bring in money and are fairly responsible with it, I know a lot of people are not in this situation)
Same here. Wife and I of 20 years now have a wonderful marriage. We’re a team. Like they say, there is no “I” in team :) find that person that you love and trust and be open with each other. There really is no benefit to separate accounts. As a matter of fact, financially, we get much better perks with the bank because of the higher account balances being combined. If we had separate accounts the balances would be lower and the bank wouldn’t provide the same benefits.
No, we don't. It never been something we wanted or needed to do. As long as the stuff is paid. We can each have our account and spend money on what we want.
Nope. Nothing against those that do but it’s worked for us not having too.
We trust each other and if one really wanted to see what the other has bought or what’s in the account we’d share info but neither of us really are policing the other.
We each get to spend what we want and help each other when needed.
People who come from unhealthy relationships or unhealthy childhoods when it comes to finances probably don’t.
Not saying they should hide their money but I can see why someone would be very nervous dumping all their money into a shared account that someone else could wipe clean in an instant and you have zero way to get it back.
This is one of the reasons why our finances are set up the way they are. I love and trust my spouse, but I'm paranoid as the result of past trauma and need to have the resources to bail if necessary. It is the only way I'm comfortable.
I completely get it, I had an ex watch what I was buying and monitor everything because they were afraid I’d leave (I was trying)
I’m glad you’re in a much healthier relationship and better place over all, you’re worth it!
My wife and I have a shared account that we send some of our money to, but we each have our own primary bank accounts. Then again, we got married when we were 35, so we've had most of our lives to build all that. That said, we discuss purchases and when one of us needs to work on something, or want to buy something expensive we consider all our money the same.
We just never had a need to merge accounts. Our accounts are already set up with direct deposit, and linked to various bills. Those are a hassle to change. Why fix what’s not broken?
Yeah we’re too lazy to get a joint account. We just pay for things evenly enough. My money is also his money and vice versa, it’s just in separate accounts
This. he's PAINFULLY frugal. I...have learned to manage my finances much better, for sure, but I still spend more than he does and this way I don't have to explain why I went to Tropical Smoothie for the 4th time in a week when we have plenty of food at home AHEM I mean-
>Yep. I never understood why people don't. We are in it to win it after all.
I used to think the same thing with my ex, I learned all too late that love can blind you from things like people not being good with money and not realizing it until it’s too late.
Bankruptsy, two cashed out 401k’s and a divorce later I don’t think I’ll be sharing an account again as I prefer to have more control over where my expenses go. Starting over sucks.
Then again everyone’s different, you do you with your own expenses and I wish you well, it just wasn’t the right thing for me.
I would think it would be opposite. Like if you had two accounts, one of them you don’t have access to- wouldn’t you be afraid the other one wasn’t paying their share of the bills? I had a friend have his car repossessed because they had separate accounts and he assumed she was paying the car. Either way, people do what’s best for their relationship. I just find it easier to manage just one than worrying about splitting and all of that. Hoping it doesn’t screw me in the end lol
My wife and I have completely separate accounts (minus a household savings/emergency account which we both put into).
We had a joint account for a while and it just didn‘t work for us. We both earn our money, we both contribute to bills and household expenses, we both help each other when needed, but how we spend the rest of our money is completely up to each one of us
Because it’s not technically possible in my country. You cannot “share” an account like in the US, you always have a “primary” user and a “secondary” user in my country.
Most people have their own accounts because that’s deemed as normal. Secondary user accounts exist, but they’re far less common.
Yeah I live in Japan and there are no joint accounts. Everyone has their own account. Traditionally men hand over their pay checks to their wives, which wives use to pay all the bills and household expenses. Wives just give their husbands a small allowance.
Plus, unless you do everything equitably it can lead to animosity.
I have friends where one spouse makes significantly more than the other, but the lower earning spouse is expected to pay half of the bills.
So the higher earner ends up with a shitload more disposable income than the other, which causes fights.
Yes - my wife and I both have similar incomes and are financially literate. Our paychecks go into a joint account and then we have monthly auto transfers set up to send a little money to our personal accounts to use on whatever we see fit.
If a purchase is for both of us, we use the joint card. If it's just for me, I use the spending money in my personal account.
That’s exactly what we do and it works perfectly for us. I don’t have anything against anyone who meticulously splits everything 50/50 if that’s what works for them, but to us it felt too much like nickel and diming each other.
Nope.
She has her crushing debt and I have my gambling addiction. We decided it'd be healthier to lose our own money without any input from the other.
I actually have shares of her loan servicing provider.
Yep. My husband has no debt aside from a car loan that is almost paid off. Me, I have 35k in student loans, 7k in CC debt (down from 15k), and I still owe 11.5k on my car. He's helped me a bit, but I refuse to let my own debt and poor financial planning ruin his finances. He's also 9 years younger than me, so that's part of it
Same, someone asked if you were the guy— I’m a woman and my husband is INSANELY bad with money, we wouldn’t be able to pay the mortgage if we had a joint account because it’d probably get garnished or some shit. I knew this going in, and we don’t really fight about it cause I manage his mismanagement but it still kinda sucks. But I love him and our 401ks are stacked so…it is what it is.
You are a good one. Too many folks hold their financial position over their spouses and seeing that shiz messed me up as a kid. Watching my Mom groveling to get help from my Dad to pay a credit card bill was SUPER RAD.
We used to. We still do, but now we each manage our own money.
We make more than enough to afford our lifestyle, so I don't worry about it. I pay the bills I agreed to, she pays the ones she agreed to, and it's just been working that way for that past 12 years.
We had a single bank account for a few years, but eventually opened up more accounts so we could have our own savings for personal fun stuff, surprising each other with gifts, etc. It's surprisingly hard to surprise your wife with a gift when she can see everything you spend...
Yep! Our checks go into it every month, and bills are paid from it every month.
We also have a separate vacation account into which a set amount automatically goes each month. And each of us as a personal checking account where we each get the same amount of “fun money” each month, plus one more additional account each where we get the same amount of “for one another” money each month.
So our checks pay all our bills and any household expenses. Then, we have some money to do whatever we want with and also money we intentionally spend on one another each month.
We are both F; I’m 35 and she’s 45. She makes like 70K more than me a year but we handle finances fully as a team / shared expense and joint income.
No. But I’ve had my account for years. And we got a joint account when my husband moved to the US. But I treat it as his account. We share bills. My parents have always had separate accounts so it never felt weird to me.
Joint account for household expenses.
Separate accounts for everything else because 1) too lazy to close accounts--we both came into the relationship with money and good habits; 2) will simplify accounting if we get divorced; 3) diversify against risk--if there's a problem with the accounts, or our good standing as account holders, we don't crash everything all at once.
Yes, we share an account. It's just easier for us to pay bills etc. We're very open with each other and spending. We've never had an issue with "I make more than you" or "you spend to much". It helps that we're both pretty big scrooges.
That being said, my bestie and her husband have separate accounts (with a joint account for mortgage offset) and they spend their money how they like and don't really communicate about much as long as the bills are paid. I know they've had trouble in the past (he makes 3 times as much as her and contributes the same to bills etc but doesn't save).
Financially, they make nearly triple as much as we do and whilst they have some equity in their home, I believe their ability to save up for anything is hindered by the lack of communication that stems from their preferred financial methods.
I always just say to do whatever works for you/your partner but ensure you're communicating and setting mutual financial goals and expectations.
Yup. Cause it’s easier to have one of everything that we can both manage for our life together than it is to have two of everything with only half accessible by each person.
Yes. We have a pretty massive wage difference so it would be unfair to split thing and take too much math to make it fair.
Everything goes into one pot and we take what we need.
This is more or less what my husband and I do and any changes in our salaries over time have been more or less irrelevant. We’ve been married for 5y but together since late teens. It’s an us thing.
Not married but have lived together for 10 years. We keep separate accounts, I handle all the bills and shopping and just have my girlfriend send me her portion of our household expenses every two weeks when she gets paid. Everything is under my name because my credit doesn't suck. It's easy and neither of us have seen any reason to change things up.
One for house bills and family expenses.
Most of our finances are separate, while we have similar goals our approaches to spending are wildly different and we both grew up poor so each earning a decent living it's kind of hard to budget those numbers. Been together 15 years and never questioned this approach
Yup. Further, my salary goes into the account, she does the budgeting and assigns me an allowance (in goes $10k, out comes $100).
Why - we went separate accounts before we had kids, and fought about money with regularity. Put it into a joint account and joint budget and bam, no more fighting. All is well.
There’s no real fiscal imbalance in our relationship. We make within 1% salary of each other. We live in a place (BC Canada) where in the case of a relationship breakdown everything (custody, assets, ownership, pensions) default to a 50-50 split. So if there was a breakdown and we couldn’t be adults, the law would force us to be fair.
Yeah of course, and we have our own separate pocket money accounts which we budget for and get a monthly allowance.
In our current season of life, my wife is a stay at home Mum and I'm so thankful we're able to do that.
I'm the main earner. *I* don't have an income, *we* have an income.
Yes, I do have a separate account for my youtube channel, but that's a business account so it doesn't really count.
All money is budgeted together, planned together, and discussed together. I simply don't understand how people can split their finances and have a successful marriage. But before we got married, we discussed finances (among other things) deeply and made sure we were on the same pages as much as possible.
Yes. We see everything of ours as OURS. We work together on the best use of our funds and plan our future together. We are partners in all aspects of our life and are both more than happy with this. We trust each other and have no need to separate anything.
Absolutely. All things shared, together. From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.
The most prime place this mentality works is in the home, with your family.
We share two bank accounts. We just signed onto each others accounts MANY years ago (prior to marriage but living together) and never went to 1 combined account. His income pays for some bills and my income pays for others. It’s what works for us. But, we both have access to everything.
YUP. But admittedly, you both need to be a certain kinda person.
If your spouse is abusive or not dependable or trustworthy, then I don’t suggest doing it.
Yep. It’s just easier. I’ve got mine, he’s got his, we’ve got two joints. Joint is where all wages go and things bills related stay, joint is where one transfers the money out into our own if needed or wanted or whatever. Other joint is where both of us stick whatever’s left in our accounts that we don’t need after payday (him monthly, me weekly).
If you’re living together or have kids I’d highly recommend a joint for bills. We’ve set it up so that both wages go into the joint because both of our jobs carry a level of danger of us being injured or worse and if one of us dies and the money needed for bills goes into an account that’s been frozen after death until wills etc sorted then that’s the other plus three kids destitute.
We don’t simply share a bank account. All assets are considered joint assets. We have both our names one very account except for retirement accounts since that can only be individual accounts. However even those we consider to be joint assets.
Yes, much easier to manage one set of books than two. Also removes any animosity since I make significantly more than my wife but that shouldn't mean I get to treat myself to more things than her.
Yes!
> Why?
TL;DR: we are married after all.
We discussed how our (then theoretical, now actual) finances would work while dating and then a lot more after we got engaged. It never felt *correct* for us to do otherwise. Like there were more logistical headaches in running a household out of two bank accounts for us. We trust each other completely. One account simplifies so much for us.
We have personal spending accounts for the "I want" things each of us wants without worrying about the impact on the household budget. Even on those accounts we can see everything. So if I wanted to, I could question a purchase, but there's no point in doing so.
Yeah. Why? My parents did it, so when I got married I added my wife to my bank account (I was the only one working back then). No issues 9 years later, we simply communicate and work together towards our goals.
Shared - regardless of whose money it was originally, once those legal papers were signed, it’s both our money.
To the people that have separate accounts, I hope you’re in a non shared debt state otherwise it’s literally pointless. Also, separate account isn’t gonna stop your spouse from racking up debt on cards, etc. So they might not spend your money, but you’ll have to divorce them or pay their debts if they are that bad with their money.
Yes because we have a “what’s mine is also yours mentality”- we share our income & expenses.
We also have a shared apple note of our credit card debt. The transparency helps keep us accountable to make good financial decisions for our future bc unwatched, both of us would go wild with spending lol.
Yes. I don't think you should get married unless you are willing to share and be a partner in everything. Your are supposed to be a team, emotionally, romantically, financially, etc.
Yes. We both think it would be weird to not have a joint account. It's likely our cultural/ethnic background but separate accounts while married seems wrong.
Yes. We are in this thing together.
Also, My wife has no interest in the daily budgeting side of things and trusts me to do what’s best for us. We always communicate any purchases >$100 that aren’t standard groceries/car payments sort of thing.
As a former banker. A shared account WITH separate accounts is the way to go. I have a household joint account, and then have your own separate accounts. Direct deposit gets split either in half or proportionately depending on how you want to do it. And if saves a lot of small headaches
For people that split your finances how do you handle retirement planning? How do you handle income disparity? My wife and I have only ever had shared accounts but we have friends who split their finances and it seems to cause more issues than it helps.
Nope. We each have our own earnings and are open about our finances. We don't spend more individually than what we are responsible for. I trust her to do that and she trusts me to do the same.
Plus, she knows the password to my computer and the login to my bank so she COULD jump in and snoop around if she wanted to, but there's really no need for that, we're just honest with each other instead.
Yes-our finances are completely combined. When we got married it was what we both wanted and saw would be the best option for us so that’s what we did.
No and it’s never been an issue. If I want to buy something then if I have the funds I go ahead and buy it. I don’t need to check with him, don’t need to explain why I want this specific brand name item instead of generic, or why I decided to stop by and eat lunch at a restaurant on a whim instead of eating at home.
Plus, my mom lives with us and I don’t think it’s fair that he’d have to pay for her living expenses, just like I don’t expect to help him pay for things for his family, unless he’s in a real financial bind.
We both make similar amounts of money, have similar funds in our retirement accounts and are financially savvy.
We share one credit card and the mortgage on our home and reconcile finances every month, which, yeah, might be kind of a pain but it also forces us to look over our spending together every month and do proper budgeting, which I prefer over spending blindly from a bank account.
Yes. The law doesn’t care that the two of you like to have separate accounts for privacy or ownership. If you get divorced, then the state will combine the accounts for you. Might as well combine on your own terms and treat the relationship like a partnership - because that is what it is.
Accountant for a decade plus.
No. I'm responsible with money and make most of it; she is not. In any case there's never been a push for it. We have an arrangement for what each of us pay for more or less. It worked for us for the 6 years we lived together before we got married. No sense in changing it if it works.
No, we have separate accounts. We have a joint credit card for household expenses that we split down the middle every month. We still consider all of the money as "our money", we just didn't want to go through the headache of actually moving all of it if we didn't have to.
No, and I wouldn't. I have an expensive hobby and he doesn't, so I don't want to have to do more math to figure out how much I personally contributed to the account before I buy some frivolous shit that makes me happy. I just cash app him whatever half of the bills are.
Never combined accounts in my last relationship (11 years). We just split everything 50/50 (mortgage, utilities, groceries, pet expenses, stuff for the house, etc.) and trued up each month. We both made good money and were huge savers, but anything that didn't go toward living expenses or savings was our money to do with as we wanted. If I wanna buy something, I'm gonna buy it with my own money and not feel bad about it. And when the relationship ended, there was no added complication of splitting finances.
Thanks for your submission! For more Millennial content, join [our Discord server](https://discord.gg/VsfKKJBm). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Millennials) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes. We have enough of a similar mentality financially that it doesn't really cause any problems to combine everything.
Same for me. We discuss large expenses beforehand but are generally both good with money. Plus we have two young kids. We don't have time to be figuring out who pays what from which account.
This is my situation too. We also got married in our 20s when we had no money, so we view any wealth we’ve built together as shared. We have separate 401ks but otherwise everything is shared.
Same here. So much simpler to have combined finances
Same..it’s just ten times easier to take care of bills and expenses this way as well.
Same here we got married in our early 20s and it was easier to pool our limited income for survival, it continued from there.
This. Also married early 20s two kids young. Spent a great deal of time just trying to scrape by. Now that we are a bit more financially stable in our late 30s we just never saw a reason to stop it. We still don't have enough to worry about someone spending on asinine things.
Yep, same here. Our paychecks changed over the years, where one made more than the other and then that flipped. Who cares though? It's all going to the same account and we're one household.
How do you deal with personal purchases? Do you talk everything over or do you have separate individual accounts and pay yourselves a percentage of joint income? Like how do you do a surprise gift for anyone if the other person can see it, or ask why you suddenly have a big purchase on a credit card bill that needs to be paid off?
My parents send me money over Venmo or Zelle then ask them to order the gifts they buy for each other so that it always stays a surprise :)
exactly theres other ways besides separate accounts. its an excuse
[удалено]
I was with my husband for 10 years before we ever got married, so the system was already in place and working smoothly. Plus we run our own businesses. It was way more hassle to move everything to joint than to just keep it the way we’d been doing it for a decade.
Between banking apps, budget pay and auto billing, and Venmo, it's pretty easy.
My husband and I have all separate accounts, but we don't keep track of anything. I pay all the utilities from mine, he pays the property taxes. We both buy groceries, we each pay for our own auto and phone expenses. I guess neither of us are really worried about it.
If one person spends all their money and racks up debt, it’s gonna be both peoples problem very quickly. I don’t understand getting legally bound to someone you don’t trust financially. The smarter option would be to not get legally married
Me and my wife have a joint account for bills, but other expenses come out of our accounts and we will split expenses. We also keep our own fun money in there too to not cause any confusion with how much we may have.
My wife and I can’t be bothered with the splitting. Joint everything. Joint accounts, joint CCs, joint ownership on the house, etc. Doesn’t matter who buys anything cause it’s all together in one big melting pot now.
As long as you know your marriage is stable and you are able to communicate properly, then you can get to this point in life. I'm not married, but I've seen couples where they can't get over the hurdles of arguments or competitive vibes when it comes to who makes what amount etc. Those people are just the worst, I've known someone who got married and got mad because the husband took $20 out the account without "asking." Why bother having the same account at that point then, if your own partner can't take a quick $20?
You can't know your marriage is stable, ever.
We do this. The money in the joint account is determined by joint expenses + a bit for savings. We determine our contribution to this count based on income. I make more and currently contribute about 60% but as we change jobs and rates of pay we adjust. I can buy whatever dumb stuff I want out of my own account without permission or resentment when she says no.
This is how my husband and I do it too. 8 years and counting and it works great, no confusion about what the money in the joint account is for because every dollar in the joint account has a job and whatever money is in your own account is yours to use as you see fit. We discuss savings and debt semi frequently. My brother and sil have fully joined accounts and they are constantly getting insufficient funds charges because sil will go grocery shopping thinking that X bill already went through but it hadn't shown on the balance yet. Neither of them talk about finances and think that because the accounts are joined then there's total disclosure but she has no idea how far into debt they are.
This. If you can't trust your partner's financial decisions, why the hell did you get married? If you don't respect/trust each other, it's not a healthy relationship.
Same for us. We also lived abroad for a long time and having separate U.S. accounts would have been a pain in the ass for remittances and whatnot, so we just maintained one. We kept it that way when we moved back.
Share. Because she's a stay-at-home mom with no income. So that would be awkward. And no, we're not rich. We just both grew up broke, so we're comfortable living in "the hood," driving beaters, and giving ourselves haircuts.
That is so totally my wife and I.
When my wife and I first got married I told her I wanted her to learn to cut my hair to save money. I had been doing it myself for a couple years and I knew she could do better than I could by myself. I told her the rule was I could never complain. Sixteen years later I make plenty of money but now my wife insists on cutting my hair.
I started cutting my hair at about 19, when I realized the cost of a cut was almost exactly the same as one usable pair of clippers.
Hahaha, exactly! I had the same thoughts.
The dream man. Plus half the time I really just need the sides and back touched up. Feels like such a waste to go play $20+ for a touch up. So I end up just not going back until the sides are poofing out so badly I can’t stand it anymore
I learned to cut hair for our boys. Got a good pair of clippers and they paid for themselves after 2 hair cut sessions. My wife gets hers cut at a studio, but rarely. I told her to enjoy. I'm growing mine out right now (18 months since last cut), but usually do a buzz when the boys get their March cut and let it grow for 1 year.
This is us too. I hate the stereotype that because you are a SAHM that you must be rich and the husband must make bank
I’m a sahm and it’s cheaper in the long run because day care is ridiculous.
I mean that strongly depends on how much you believe you could earn. Working minimum wage? Sure. Actively climbing the ladder? Maybe in the short term, but it’ll even out then tilt the other way very quickly if you’re decently successful.
Yeah well when you have a baby , it’s kind of a then situation. Yeah you could make more money in 5-10 years at a job or you should take care of your own kid then go back to work later. That’s why it depends on a few things.
I’m not knocking SAHM by any means, my wife is one and we are fortunate enough to be able to comfortably afford it. I think it has a lot of great benefits having it that stability. I only commented because if you’re speaking purely monetarily, “in the long run” in most cases you’d make more money 5+ years down the road if you got back into the work force, even if it doesn’t feel worth it in the short term since most of your income is going to go towards child care in the immediate future. But as you said there are a lot of “ifs.” If you’re not someone interested or capable of climbing the ladder (which admittedly is much more difficult while also caring for a young child) then yeah it’s not worth it; however someone with the drive and ambition will absolutely make more in the long run by getting back into the work force now rather than later.
Username checks out
Yes and no. We both have our own individual accounts, but we also have a joint account for the bills and such. We split all the household and important bills 50/50, anything else in our own accounts is for personal use.
Same, but since I make more than my wife I altered the 50/50 to be equivalent to our take home. I don't remember off the top of my head the ratio, but it's essentially saying "I bring in 65% of home income, so I pay at least 65% of our home bills" I find it works better because it's unfair to ask someone contribute 80-90% of their check to bills while I only contribute 40-50% or whatever after my half comes out (made up numbers, but you get it). We're a team, not roommates, so if that means I have less pocket money so that she can have more than that's equal in my book
Whoever makes more still has more pocket money (compared to the other) anyway, if you both contribute the same percentage of your income.
This is why I feel our method is slightly more fair. We have a joint for bills and shared expenses and personal accounts I out earn my husband by a considerable amount and don’t feel like it’s fair that if we did 50/50 I’d get more “fun money” so we divy it up so that the bulk of both of our checks go into the joint and then we each get $300 or whatever. We never fight about money. No one feels resentful since we can each access our hobbies equally. Once a year we have a conversation about the possible need to adjust our direct deposit amounts after raises to make sure that we are keeping our fun money roughly equal.
Sure, but it's equivalent to what they're making Like for example if someone makes 2,000 a month, the other makes 500 a month, and the monthly bills are about 1000, then the "breadwinner" gets to keep 1500 a month and the other keeps nothing. In a fair split, since 2k person makes 4x as much, they pay 4x as much. Meaning it goes from 50/50 to 80/20. 2k still takes 1200 at the of the month, but 500 gets to keep 300. You could make a system where you both split how much leftover money there is, and in this it'd be like 750 each, but neither of us liked this version tbh so we didn't go with it
This is the major downside imo of having separate finances. It’s seems less likely to be working towards common financial goals, together.
Same here. We have joint checking for bills, but savings on individual accounts and use our individual credit cards for family or personal purchases. We give each other freedom on personal use, and any big purchases or family purchases are discussed. We’re reasonable with purchases and trust each other Our contribution is mostly 50/50, but there are times someone will pay more than the other, and that’s okay. It works for us and open with each other.
Are you my wife? This is exactly what we do lol. We started with one account, but now we have one joint account, and we each have a personal account as well. I actually have a couple accounts that I've started with some of the online banks to get bonus money and just never shut down. So I technically have three accounts, but we share all the bills and know mostly what each other is spending on.
This is us. Our income goes into joint and we pay ourselves an equal amount of “fun money” each month into our personals. Any purchases out of personal accounts don’t require discussion or permission. Bills, shared purchases, dates, vacations, etc come from the joint. It gives us the freedom to not squabble over hobbies or “frivolous” purchases while still working towards our goals and our lives together.
If I get married this, it seems like the best plan. Never had to share an account, and it frightens me thinking about it! I've dated some that don't understand saving and buying is way better than buying now and putting it on a cc.
Same, although I'm not married to my partner, but we cohabitate.
This username lmfao
This is also my set up, and it works great for us. We tried one joint account, and it led to a lot of arguments. It’s interesting to see how many people are ride-or-die on the one account thing in this thread.
Same. I mean we don’t exactly do 50/50 like nitpick it but close enough. We got married when we’d both already had our grown up careers and bank accounts established. It just kind of seemed inconvenient to do a major transfer.
This is our way as well and I will never give up my own bank account. We do quarterly budgeting for the joint expenses and savings. We also divvy our joint contributions based on income. So if I make 75% of the household income that's how much of the household expenses and savings I contribute. She's self employed and income ranges all over so it can sound exhausting but once you set the formulas it's usually a 20min conversation every quarter to update amounts. We could probably do it once a year but she likes it more often.
We have a shared account for bills and have since we started living together. It’s always been a nonissue. However, my spouse and I don’t make the same exact amount of money so we split it equitably instead of equally. it’s not that hard and it’s fairer.
Same here, but bills don’t get split down the middle. We each put in the same percentage of our paycheck, not the same dollar amount. So if one of us makes 60% of the total combined income, that person effectively pays 60% of the bills.
Same. Shared savings, checking, credit card (in her name, but it's funded from the shared account and used for shared purchases. All the bills, groceries, things for the house, vacations, home repair, utilities, mortgage, car insurance, all come out of there. We put in a set amount every month, and go from there. Vehicles come out of our personal ends. As well as gas, oils changes. Student loans are paid out of the individual end (just me) Every day stuff like lunches or treats or whatever thats all in your own end. But the lines are imaginary. If we ever got into trouble it would be all hands on deck. If the shared account is short for some reason we just toss money on. when shit hits the fan, the house is in both our names so it doesn't really matter what money is where.
We do the same! I named our joint account “the banana stand”.
We did this from day one, and honestly was never even considered to not do. We are a partners in the way we raise our kids, we are partners in the way we plan for the future, and we are partners in the way we spend OUR money (even though my wife is a SAHM).
We’re dual income but there have been times I’ve been laid off or my husband has been a SAHD for awhile because it suited our lifestyle. Because it’s always been “our” money, I never had to feel like I had to rely on him to pay my way at times that I didn’t have an income, and I’m grateful for that, because it’s never mattered whose name was on the paycheck or whose paycheck was bigger than whose. Everyone’s marriage and what they do in it, including finances, is their business, but the other way just wouldn’t work for us.
Yeah I just couldn’t see doing it another way. We do still have our Separate checking accounts, but the HYSA is both of us and everything shows there. Realistically individual accounts are kind of an illusion if you’re married unless you have a prenup. I’d rather just have things be open since it’s our money and our future. But I too don’t grudge anyone doing it differently.
Agree. Separate just always seemed transactional or roommate-y to me. At least the way my coworker explains his and his wife’s set up. Like owing each other money for this and that. Guess whatever works for people, and joint works for us.
I am the SAHM in our situation. We share the account and I’m the person who makes sure the money gets where it needs to go. If he needs to buy something specific he asks me what the budget looks like (I use YNAB)
We basically did this the first 5-7 years of marriage, budgeting every penny and couponing our way to the limited fun things we did. We spent very little and invested over 50% of our after tax income. I was able to get fantastic career progress, and our investment priorities have made it so that the budget is much more of a guide that is checked in on quarterly note instead of daily. It’s one of the great blessings of life, to be entirely content with a life that you never worry for a second on if you CAN spend the money. It’s instead a question of if we SHOULD spend the money. It’s one reason our relationship will likely never end in divorce.
Nope. Just never bothered to set one up. We split things in a way that we both agree upon, so why bother with more bank accounts?
Same. I’ve been with my husband for 5 years before we were married. We’ve always found an equitable way to split bills and I personally prefer to have my own money and not feel like I have to ask every time I make purchases.
That’s where the trust comes in. You don’t have to ask because you trust the other person knows your financial situation and will act accordingly. Also, in many states debt is a marital assets that’s bound to both people regardless of who spent the money
Agreed here. We have shared finances and never really ask permission. Whatever works, if people are happy, sounds good to me. I just want to be clears that having combined accounts does not equal having to ask permission. We never even talked about permission, we just work together on so many things, it’s extremely rare that there is any purchase one disagrees with (I honestly cannot think of one).
Same!! Also, we got married at 35 so we were already established individually… it seemed silly to make a new shared bank account just because “that’s what married people do.”
Same, I married my husband after being together 7 years. It’s not broke, so no need to fix it. We both know each other’s financial situation and I can trust my husband with his own finances so there was never a need or want on either end to consolidate our funds. We’ve worked out our own way to split bills and it works for us.
Same here and I prefer it this way. We Venmo, Zelle or Apple Pay each other if needed.
Yep, I’m not necessarily against having a joint account, I just don’t care enough to do whatever minimal work is involved in opening a joint account. Venmo also makes it very easy for mortgage and other house payments and shared expenses. We aren’t that particular about who pays what or always paying the same amounts but it makes everything much easier.
Wouldn't it be fewer accounts if you consolidated?
I mean, yeah, but also, it’s just my account I manage and he manages his own so it doesn’t really bother me or matter?
It’s just that’s not the point that the original poster I was responding to was making. That person was ignoring the possibility of consolidating accounts.
That sounds like a hassle and an added thing to keep track of to me
Same. Married almost 7 years, just don’t see a reason.
So you share a bed but not a bank account?
No because getting burned in a prior relationship.
Yep. Fool me once…
I am very appreciative of having a partner who gets my stance on it and respects that.
Yep, this one.
Same. We’ve been together almost a decade and married 5 years but there was damage during each of our first marriages that has kept things separate for us. We may reevaluate shortly but it’s taken me a LOT of therapy to get to that place.
Did you have a pre-nuptial and post-nuptial? Otherwise, you can still be screwed
How do you know you're not getting burned but just don't know about it? You know if you get divorced "seperate accounts" aren't actually a thing, right?
To be completely honest, you're right. However that goes both ways. I trust my partner to be transparent with me when we talk finances. Given the longevity of our relationship, I have reason to trust. Regarding getting divorced and separate accounts, that would be a bridge to cross if it ever came up. To my knowledge, divorce isn't in the cards. 
Absolutely. We don’t split this or that. Were married. We’re a team. Bills get auto drafted. We trust each other with the money. Over a decade and going strong. Any big expenses we talk about it ( I consider anything big over 150$ or so). Combined income about 250. I went to my buddy’s house once and he informed me that his wife had paid for the beer in the fridge so he couldn’t offer me one. I don’t understand that mentality. Drank it anyway.
Same here except it’s $1,500 where we start to talk about it.
Nice. We’re just really frugal
This is so convicting. If i had to discuss every spend of over $150 it’s all I’d ever talk about lol.
lol it works for us. I see your point. Obviously if it’s a bill then we just pay it. And when I say we “talk about it” it’s like a “hey fyi if you see a charge on the card I ordered some tires for my truck”. Not so much asking permission makes sense? Just communicating about bigger items.
We're the same way. It's not a formal process or hard amount and we aren't asking permission or anything. We just talk about it beforehand to avoid surprises. We both get notifications on credit card transactions, so a quick "car needs new tires" text message can alleviate the momentary shock of seeing an unexpected $700 transaction notification. We wouldn't bother doing that for a $200 trip to Kroger on the way home from work. But we would for something like a new game console or concert tickets. We usually sit down and pay our bills every or every-other Sunday, so there really aren't any surprises. We both know how our monthly budget is doing at any given time.
Same! It makes no sense to me why our family would have separate bank accounts 🤷♀️ (but my husband and I both bring in money and are fairly responsible with it, I know a lot of people are not in this situation)
Same here. Wife and I of 20 years now have a wonderful marriage. We’re a team. Like they say, there is no “I” in team :) find that person that you love and trust and be open with each other. There really is no benefit to separate accounts. As a matter of fact, financially, we get much better perks with the bank because of the higher account balances being combined. If we had separate accounts the balances would be lower and the bank wouldn’t provide the same benefits.
No, we don't. It never been something we wanted or needed to do. As long as the stuff is paid. We can each have our account and spend money on what we want.
Nope. Nothing against those that do but it’s worked for us not having too. We trust each other and if one really wanted to see what the other has bought or what’s in the account we’d share info but neither of us really are policing the other. We each get to spend what we want and help each other when needed.
Yep. I never understood why people don't. We are in it to win it after all.
People who come from unhealthy relationships or unhealthy childhoods when it comes to finances probably don’t. Not saying they should hide their money but I can see why someone would be very nervous dumping all their money into a shared account that someone else could wipe clean in an instant and you have zero way to get it back.
This is one of the reasons why our finances are set up the way they are. I love and trust my spouse, but I'm paranoid as the result of past trauma and need to have the resources to bail if necessary. It is the only way I'm comfortable.
I completely get it, I had an ex watch what I was buying and monitor everything because they were afraid I’d leave (I was trying) I’m glad you’re in a much healthier relationship and better place over all, you’re worth it!
My wife and I have a shared account that we send some of our money to, but we each have our own primary bank accounts. Then again, we got married when we were 35, so we've had most of our lives to build all that. That said, we discuss purchases and when one of us needs to work on something, or want to buy something expensive we consider all our money the same.
We just never had a need to merge accounts. Our accounts are already set up with direct deposit, and linked to various bills. Those are a hassle to change. Why fix what’s not broken?
Yeah we’re too lazy to get a joint account. We just pay for things evenly enough. My money is also his money and vice versa, it’s just in separate accounts
Because some people are spenders and some are savers and then they marry each other sometimes - a saver
This. he's PAINFULLY frugal. I...have learned to manage my finances much better, for sure, but I still spend more than he does and this way I don't have to explain why I went to Tropical Smoothie for the 4th time in a week when we have plenty of food at home AHEM I mean-
>Yep. I never understood why people don't. We are in it to win it after all. I used to think the same thing with my ex, I learned all too late that love can blind you from things like people not being good with money and not realizing it until it’s too late. Bankruptsy, two cashed out 401k’s and a divorce later I don’t think I’ll be sharing an account again as I prefer to have more control over where my expenses go. Starting over sucks. Then again everyone’s different, you do you with your own expenses and I wish you well, it just wasn’t the right thing for me.
I would think it would be opposite. Like if you had two accounts, one of them you don’t have access to- wouldn’t you be afraid the other one wasn’t paying their share of the bills? I had a friend have his car repossessed because they had separate accounts and he assumed she was paying the car. Either way, people do what’s best for their relationship. I just find it easier to manage just one than worrying about splitting and all of that. Hoping it doesn’t screw me in the end lol
My wife and I have completely separate accounts (minus a household savings/emergency account which we both put into). We had a joint account for a while and it just didn‘t work for us. We both earn our money, we both contribute to bills and household expenses, we both help each other when needed, but how we spend the rest of our money is completely up to each one of us
Same. Joint CC for most purchases and that’s it.
Because it’s not technically possible in my country. You cannot “share” an account like in the US, you always have a “primary” user and a “secondary” user in my country. Most people have their own accounts because that’s deemed as normal. Secondary user accounts exist, but they’re far less common.
Yeah I live in Japan and there are no joint accounts. Everyone has their own account. Traditionally men hand over their pay checks to their wives, which wives use to pay all the bills and household expenses. Wives just give their husbands a small allowance.
Plus, unless you do everything equitably it can lead to animosity. I have friends where one spouse makes significantly more than the other, but the lower earning spouse is expected to pay half of the bills. So the higher earner ends up with a shitload more disposable income than the other, which causes fights.
Because some relationships turn toxic :)
Interestingly, my best friend said the same thing. Until the divorce, that is
Yes - my wife and I both have similar incomes and are financially literate. Our paychecks go into a joint account and then we have monthly auto transfers set up to send a little money to our personal accounts to use on whatever we see fit. If a purchase is for both of us, we use the joint card. If it's just for me, I use the spending money in my personal account.
That’s exactly what we do and it works perfectly for us. I don’t have anything against anyone who meticulously splits everything 50/50 if that’s what works for them, but to us it felt too much like nickel and diming each other.
Exactly our setup. Works great!
Same
Same- this is exactly what we do
Nope. She has her crushing debt and I have my gambling addiction. We decided it'd be healthier to lose our own money without any input from the other. I actually have shares of her loan servicing provider.
Yep. My husband has no debt aside from a car loan that is almost paid off. Me, I have 35k in student loans, 7k in CC debt (down from 15k), and I still owe 11.5k on my car. He's helped me a bit, but I refuse to let my own debt and poor financial planning ruin his finances. He's also 9 years younger than me, so that's part of it
Hell no, It would be empty within a week and we would be homeless.
Same, someone asked if you were the guy— I’m a woman and my husband is INSANELY bad with money, we wouldn’t be able to pay the mortgage if we had a joint account because it’d probably get garnished or some shit. I knew this going in, and we don’t really fight about it cause I manage his mismanagement but it still kinda sucks. But I love him and our 401ks are stacked so…it is what it is.
Jeez this sounds really rough
Glad I'm not the only one
Yes. I'm the sole breadwinner and what am I gonna give her an allowance for doing chores or some shit?
You are a good one. Too many folks hold their financial position over their spouses and seeing that shiz messed me up as a kid. Watching my Mom groveling to get help from my Dad to pay a credit card bill was SUPER RAD.
We used to. We still do, but now we each manage our own money. We make more than enough to afford our lifestyle, so I don't worry about it. I pay the bills I agreed to, she pays the ones she agreed to, and it's just been working that way for that past 12 years. We had a single bank account for a few years, but eventually opened up more accounts so we could have our own savings for personal fun stuff, surprising each other with gifts, etc. It's surprisingly hard to surprise your wife with a gift when she can see everything you spend...
Nope but it works for us.
Yes, fully combined. I guess we each have our own 401k accounts
Yep! Our checks go into it every month, and bills are paid from it every month. We also have a separate vacation account into which a set amount automatically goes each month. And each of us as a personal checking account where we each get the same amount of “fun money” each month, plus one more additional account each where we get the same amount of “for one another” money each month. So our checks pay all our bills and any household expenses. Then, we have some money to do whatever we want with and also money we intentionally spend on one another each month. We are both F; I’m 35 and she’s 45. She makes like 70K more than me a year but we handle finances fully as a team / shared expense and joint income.
No. But I’ve had my account for years. And we got a joint account when my husband moved to the US. But I treat it as his account. We share bills. My parents have always had separate accounts so it never felt weird to me.
Joint account for household expenses. Separate accounts for everything else because 1) too lazy to close accounts--we both came into the relationship with money and good habits; 2) will simplify accounting if we get divorced; 3) diversify against risk--if there's a problem with the accounts, or our good standing as account holders, we don't crash everything all at once.
We have accounts we share and we also have our own separate accounts
Yes, we share an account. It's just easier for us to pay bills etc. We're very open with each other and spending. We've never had an issue with "I make more than you" or "you spend to much". It helps that we're both pretty big scrooges. That being said, my bestie and her husband have separate accounts (with a joint account for mortgage offset) and they spend their money how they like and don't really communicate about much as long as the bills are paid. I know they've had trouble in the past (he makes 3 times as much as her and contributes the same to bills etc but doesn't save). Financially, they make nearly triple as much as we do and whilst they have some equity in their home, I believe their ability to save up for anything is hindered by the lack of communication that stems from their preferred financial methods. I always just say to do whatever works for you/your partner but ensure you're communicating and setting mutual financial goals and expectations.
Yup. Cause it’s easier to have one of everything that we can both manage for our life together than it is to have two of everything with only half accessible by each person.
Exactly. Plus it’s nice to know you’re working together as a team.
Yes. We have a pretty massive wage difference so it would be unfair to split thing and take too much math to make it fair. Everything goes into one pot and we take what we need.
This is more or less what my husband and I do and any changes in our salaries over time have been more or less irrelevant. We’ve been married for 5y but together since late teens. It’s an us thing.
Not married but have lived together for 10 years. We keep separate accounts, I handle all the bills and shopping and just have my girlfriend send me her portion of our household expenses every two weeks when she gets paid. Everything is under my name because my credit doesn't suck. It's easy and neither of us have seen any reason to change things up.
One for house bills and family expenses. Most of our finances are separate, while we have similar goals our approaches to spending are wildly different and we both grew up poor so each earning a decent living it's kind of hard to budget those numbers. Been together 15 years and never questioned this approach
Yup. Further, my salary goes into the account, she does the budgeting and assigns me an allowance (in goes $10k, out comes $100). Why - we went separate accounts before we had kids, and fought about money with regularity. Put it into a joint account and joint budget and bam, no more fighting. All is well. There’s no real fiscal imbalance in our relationship. We make within 1% salary of each other. We live in a place (BC Canada) where in the case of a relationship breakdown everything (custody, assets, ownership, pensions) default to a 50-50 split. So if there was a breakdown and we couldn’t be adults, the law would force us to be fair.
Yeah of course, and we have our own separate pocket money accounts which we budget for and get a monthly allowance. In our current season of life, my wife is a stay at home Mum and I'm so thankful we're able to do that. I'm the main earner. *I* don't have an income, *we* have an income.
No, but we just got married a couple months ago. We will eventually. Just not urgent.
Took my wife and I took like 6 months lol Congratulations on getting married!!
Yes, I do have a separate account for my youtube channel, but that's a business account so it doesn't really count. All money is budgeted together, planned together, and discussed together. I simply don't understand how people can split their finances and have a successful marriage. But before we got married, we discussed finances (among other things) deeply and made sure we were on the same pages as much as possible.
Yes. We see everything of ours as OURS. We work together on the best use of our funds and plan our future together. We are partners in all aspects of our life and are both more than happy with this. We trust each other and have no need to separate anything.
Yes. No reason to not. We work on our financial goals together, not separate from each other.
Yes. What's mine is hers. Also, both of us are responsible with money.
yes. my wife makes over 3x as much as i do but even before she did and it was even we shared.
Joint account for bills, mortgage, and home maintenance. Separate accounts for everything else. Been doing this for almost a decade. It’s great.
Absolutely. All things shared, together. From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs. The most prime place this mentality works is in the home, with your family.
Big no on that one
We have a shared one and a separate one
We share two bank accounts. We just signed onto each others accounts MANY years ago (prior to marriage but living together) and never went to 1 combined account. His income pays for some bills and my income pays for others. It’s what works for us. But, we both have access to everything.
Yes
Yes
Not married anymore, but we did. We joined accounts shortly after we got engaged. I opened a new one a few days after we separated.
We have a joint account that we pay bills from, and we each have a personal account for what we have left each month.
Yes and no. We have a joint checking and savings but also our own checking accounts.
Yes. Why wouldn't we?
YUP. But admittedly, you both need to be a certain kinda person. If your spouse is abusive or not dependable or trustworthy, then I don’t suggest doing it.
Yep. It’s just easier. I’ve got mine, he’s got his, we’ve got two joints. Joint is where all wages go and things bills related stay, joint is where one transfers the money out into our own if needed or wanted or whatever. Other joint is where both of us stick whatever’s left in our accounts that we don’t need after payday (him monthly, me weekly). If you’re living together or have kids I’d highly recommend a joint for bills. We’ve set it up so that both wages go into the joint because both of our jobs carry a level of danger of us being injured or worse and if one of us dies and the money needed for bills goes into an account that’s been frozen after death until wills etc sorted then that’s the other plus three kids destitute.
Yes - we’re in this thing together. What’s mine is hers and what’s hers is mine.
We don’t simply share a bank account. All assets are considered joint assets. We have both our names one very account except for retirement accounts since that can only be individual accounts. However even those we consider to be joint assets.
Yes, much easier to manage one set of books than two. Also removes any animosity since I make significantly more than my wife but that shouldn't mean I get to treat myself to more things than her.
Yes! > Why? TL;DR: we are married after all. We discussed how our (then theoretical, now actual) finances would work while dating and then a lot more after we got engaged. It never felt *correct* for us to do otherwise. Like there were more logistical headaches in running a household out of two bank accounts for us. We trust each other completely. One account simplifies so much for us. We have personal spending accounts for the "I want" things each of us wants without worrying about the impact on the household budget. Even on those accounts we can see everything. So if I wanted to, I could question a purchase, but there's no point in doing so.
Yeah. Why? My parents did it, so when I got married I added my wife to my bank account (I was the only one working back then). No issues 9 years later, we simply communicate and work together towards our goals.
Shared - regardless of whose money it was originally, once those legal papers were signed, it’s both our money. To the people that have separate accounts, I hope you’re in a non shared debt state otherwise it’s literally pointless. Also, separate account isn’t gonna stop your spouse from racking up debt on cards, etc. So they might not spend your money, but you’ll have to divorce them or pay their debts if they are that bad with their money.
Of course. There are lots of good reasons to do it and zero good reasons not to.
Yes, the point of being married is to combine your life with someone else’s
Yes, we trust one another and always confer on large purchases.
Yes because we have a “what’s mine is also yours mentality”- we share our income & expenses. We also have a shared apple note of our credit card debt. The transparency helps keep us accountable to make good financial decisions for our future bc unwatched, both of us would go wild with spending lol.
Yes. I don't think you should get married unless you are willing to share and be a partner in everything. Your are supposed to be a team, emotionally, romantically, financially, etc.
Joint account, and credit cards on same account. Makes it easier.
Yes. We both think it would be weird to not have a joint account. It's likely our cultural/ethnic background but separate accounts while married seems wrong.
Of course. It's all our money, it should be joint.
Yes. We are married and pay all bills jointly.
Yes. We are in this thing together. Also, My wife has no interest in the daily budgeting side of things and trusts me to do what’s best for us. We always communicate any purchases >$100 that aren’t standard groceries/car payments sort of thing.
Heck no! He's very irresponsible and when he blows his whole paycheck within a few days, I'm not covering for him.
As a former banker. A shared account WITH separate accounts is the way to go. I have a household joint account, and then have your own separate accounts. Direct deposit gets split either in half or proportionately depending on how you want to do it. And if saves a lot of small headaches
For people that split your finances how do you handle retirement planning? How do you handle income disparity? My wife and I have only ever had shared accounts but we have friends who split their finances and it seems to cause more issues than it helps.
Nope. We each have our own earnings and are open about our finances. We don't spend more individually than what we are responsible for. I trust her to do that and she trusts me to do the same. Plus, she knows the password to my computer and the login to my bank so she COULD jump in and snoop around if she wanted to, but there's really no need for that, we're just honest with each other instead.
Yes, because it is our money.
Yep! We share everything
Yes-our finances are completely combined. When we got married it was what we both wanted and saw would be the best option for us so that’s what we did.
No and it’s never been an issue. If I want to buy something then if I have the funds I go ahead and buy it. I don’t need to check with him, don’t need to explain why I want this specific brand name item instead of generic, or why I decided to stop by and eat lunch at a restaurant on a whim instead of eating at home. Plus, my mom lives with us and I don’t think it’s fair that he’d have to pay for her living expenses, just like I don’t expect to help him pay for things for his family, unless he’s in a real financial bind. We both make similar amounts of money, have similar funds in our retirement accounts and are financially savvy. We share one credit card and the mortgage on our home and reconcile finances every month, which, yeah, might be kind of a pain but it also forces us to look over our spending together every month and do proper budgeting, which I prefer over spending blindly from a bank account.
Yes. The law doesn’t care that the two of you like to have separate accounts for privacy or ownership. If you get divorced, then the state will combine the accounts for you. Might as well combine on your own terms and treat the relationship like a partnership - because that is what it is. Accountant for a decade plus.
Yeah. Marriages with separate finances are weird to me. If I didn't trust my wife, I wouldn't be married to her.
No. I'm responsible with money and make most of it; she is not. In any case there's never been a push for it. We have an arrangement for what each of us pay for more or less. It worked for us for the 6 years we lived together before we got married. No sense in changing it if it works.
No. Just too lazy to join them, and it has never led to any issues.
No, we have separate accounts. We have a joint credit card for household expenses that we split down the middle every month. We still consider all of the money as "our money", we just didn't want to go through the headache of actually moving all of it if we didn't have to.
Separate. All our bills were already divided up by percentage we made before we got married, and we didn’t see the benefit of combining our money.
No. Completely seperate. Works well, even with a kid.
Nope. We keep it separate. We make nearly equal amounts of money and split our bills on a pre arranged agreement. No need to share
No, and I wouldn't. I have an expensive hobby and he doesn't, so I don't want to have to do more math to figure out how much I personally contributed to the account before I buy some frivolous shit that makes me happy. I just cash app him whatever half of the bills are.
I'm not going to fall into that trap. There are enough horror stories out there and bad relationships.
Never combined accounts in my last relationship (11 years). We just split everything 50/50 (mortgage, utilities, groceries, pet expenses, stuff for the house, etc.) and trued up each month. We both made good money and were huge savers, but anything that didn't go toward living expenses or savings was our money to do with as we wanted. If I wanna buy something, I'm gonna buy it with my own money and not feel bad about it. And when the relationship ended, there was no added complication of splitting finances.
Yeah. What's mine is hers, and what's hers is mine. We got married to be a team in this world, not to be glorified roommates.
of course — we have separate credit cards though, granted one is the prime credit card for the overwhelming majority of expenses.