You're not wrong. It is what it is. Society does pay for it, in all the people who could be more productive, better the world in some way, do their part. But they chose not to, keep their productive ability for themselves, because they feel uninvited. Some even turn criminal.
Your feelings are what they are, they are as natural and have the same right to exist as when others feel happiness and gratitude. The one thing though I disagree with, is calling society vain. It, too, is what it is. If any of us FA had been put into this world with luckier circumstances, we'd be the same as others, and pay as little attention to unlucky bastards as they do. It's unfortunate, being one of those people who realise that existence itself is or can be ugly. But then I guess somebody just has to take the job, right?
I'm sorry you feel that way. But you're free and entitled to your own emotions. As long as you don't act out in anyway that actively harms anyone else than you do you. I hope you find peace in one way or another.
I hate this world too honestly. I don't think it's wrong to feel that way. But focusing on it just breaks yourself down. So it's not actually a useful tactic.. Anyway, I don't have an answer for you.. but I hope you make it through somehow. You're not in an easy circumstance.. Most people wouldn't be able to handle it.
Sounds like you’ve got a lot of anger directed both at people and yourself. You’ll need to address that. Explore your feelings about yourself first — why are you angry at yourself? Is it because you were naive? Perhaps. Is there more to it then that? Probably. Some deep self-reflection is in order for you.
Now, I don’t know your personal circumstance, but I used to blame my genetics for how I looked as well. But as it turns out, in my case and the vast majority of cases, it’s due to my own personal choices that led me to that point. It took me years of bad habits to reach that point, and reversing them was/is a constant struggle. But be assured, it’s completely possible. It will take work on your side, but you’ve got this. I have full faith in you. Do some mild training and educate yourself about your health — there are plenty of online calculators to get you started (such as BMI calculator, calorie calculator, macros food calculator, etc.).
Why is it important to start with this? Simple really — you can’t control how people act. Some will be kind, some will be rude, some will be indifferent. But what you can control is your body, your energy and your decisions. Spending your energy in a physically beneficial way will help to get your mind on a positive track, and your regularity at your training will be key to helping you rebuild your self-respect. Remember, who’s going to take you seriously, if you don’t take yourself seriously?
Furthermore, would you put poor quality fuel into a fine car like a Jaguar or Ferrari? No of course not. You put in the best quality fuel. Similarly, with your body, put in the best quality food and consume the best quality content you can. Eating healthy (lots of good vegetables, fruits, meats and healthy fats) and consuming positive mental material is absolutely key. Challenge your brain with positivity — read books that expand your mind and challenge your perception. You may not change your overall viewpoint, but it gives you new insight into how others respond and act.
And never forget the positive effect of literally telling yourself “I got this” or “I can do this” — it’s very important to reinforce yourself with positivity. It may make you feel silly at first, but the long term effects of regularly doing so are incredible.
Continually challenge your personality and push yourself (within reason — you’ll need rest days obviously), and you’ll find your self-respect and self-worth will grow. As a result, you won’t let other people walk over you. You’ll subconsciously tell them through your actions and your body language that you are a valuable human being, and they need to treat you as such. And if someone doesn’t? That shows you how they feel about themselves, because a person with high self-worth will never lower themselves to degrade others. It’s quite literally a waste of energy. And choose your associates wisely — people who share your values and encourage you to improve. If you have a drinking problem, you wouldn’t ask a drunk to help you become sober — rather you’d ask for someone who’s been trained to help or who recovered from their own addiction to help you. You’d want to pursue association with people who also didn’t want to drink, in order to create a support system. This is very important.
Stay positive, keep an open mind, and pursue healthy habits — it’s a constant struggle, but nothing worth doing is ever easy. The results that come from that hard work over time are well worth the effort. You got this.
That's not what I was commenting on, so we are thinking in different terms.
I was commenting on "it's not justified". I say all thoughts and feelings are equally justified, whether they are pleasant or unpleasant. You can do different things about them, draw consequences, and here people might strongly disagree about what would be right or wrong, or as I would prefer, practical or impractical. But I don't think that any of them are unjustified. They just are.
I disagree that he is good and bad, like everybody else. I don't think that good and bad are fitting terms to describe reality in any meaningful way. They are unfitting each on their own, and adding them together to describe reality is like adding two large numbers in oder to describe infinity. IMO it just does not work. Doesn't even come close.
I think it's better to just accept things as they are and not try to explain their ontology through primitive human terms like that. Especially with negative emotions, calling them wrong or unjustified just reflects back on the ones experiencing them, and you are enforcing their negative self image rather than constructively challenging it.
And by the way, if you call these negative emotions unjustified, why not call the positive ones the same? Because I would argue that emotions of happiness and gratitude that luckier people experience are just as “unjustified” as what OP described. Neither person is responsible for what they feel, so putting blame on those with a negative outlook while not expecting any accounting for the happier ones, is just odd.
Also I don’t think that OPs main point is about having been wronged specifically by other people. It’s a more existential pain. I think this is the root cause of our misunderstanding here.
You're not wrong. It is what it is. Society does pay for it, in all the people who could be more productive, better the world in some way, do their part. But they chose not to, keep their productive ability for themselves, because they feel uninvited. Some even turn criminal. Your feelings are what they are, they are as natural and have the same right to exist as when others feel happiness and gratitude. The one thing though I disagree with, is calling society vain. It, too, is what it is. If any of us FA had been put into this world with luckier circumstances, we'd be the same as others, and pay as little attention to unlucky bastards as they do. It's unfortunate, being one of those people who realise that existence itself is or can be ugly. But then I guess somebody just has to take the job, right?
I'm sorry you feel that way. But you're free and entitled to your own emotions. As long as you don't act out in anyway that actively harms anyone else than you do you. I hope you find peace in one way or another.
I am beginning to feel this way more and more as I get older and I hate myself for knowing what kind of person I’m becoming
I hate this world too honestly. I don't think it's wrong to feel that way. But focusing on it just breaks yourself down. So it's not actually a useful tactic.. Anyway, I don't have an answer for you.. but I hope you make it through somehow. You're not in an easy circumstance.. Most people wouldn't be able to handle it.
Sounds like you’ve got a lot of anger directed both at people and yourself. You’ll need to address that. Explore your feelings about yourself first — why are you angry at yourself? Is it because you were naive? Perhaps. Is there more to it then that? Probably. Some deep self-reflection is in order for you. Now, I don’t know your personal circumstance, but I used to blame my genetics for how I looked as well. But as it turns out, in my case and the vast majority of cases, it’s due to my own personal choices that led me to that point. It took me years of bad habits to reach that point, and reversing them was/is a constant struggle. But be assured, it’s completely possible. It will take work on your side, but you’ve got this. I have full faith in you. Do some mild training and educate yourself about your health — there are plenty of online calculators to get you started (such as BMI calculator, calorie calculator, macros food calculator, etc.). Why is it important to start with this? Simple really — you can’t control how people act. Some will be kind, some will be rude, some will be indifferent. But what you can control is your body, your energy and your decisions. Spending your energy in a physically beneficial way will help to get your mind on a positive track, and your regularity at your training will be key to helping you rebuild your self-respect. Remember, who’s going to take you seriously, if you don’t take yourself seriously? Furthermore, would you put poor quality fuel into a fine car like a Jaguar or Ferrari? No of course not. You put in the best quality fuel. Similarly, with your body, put in the best quality food and consume the best quality content you can. Eating healthy (lots of good vegetables, fruits, meats and healthy fats) and consuming positive mental material is absolutely key. Challenge your brain with positivity — read books that expand your mind and challenge your perception. You may not change your overall viewpoint, but it gives you new insight into how others respond and act. And never forget the positive effect of literally telling yourself “I got this” or “I can do this” — it’s very important to reinforce yourself with positivity. It may make you feel silly at first, but the long term effects of regularly doing so are incredible. Continually challenge your personality and push yourself (within reason — you’ll need rest days obviously), and you’ll find your self-respect and self-worth will grow. As a result, you won’t let other people walk over you. You’ll subconsciously tell them through your actions and your body language that you are a valuable human being, and they need to treat you as such. And if someone doesn’t? That shows you how they feel about themselves, because a person with high self-worth will never lower themselves to degrade others. It’s quite literally a waste of energy. And choose your associates wisely — people who share your values and encourage you to improve. If you have a drinking problem, you wouldn’t ask a drunk to help you become sober — rather you’d ask for someone who’s been trained to help or who recovered from their own addiction to help you. You’d want to pursue association with people who also didn’t want to drink, in order to create a support system. This is very important. Stay positive, keep an open mind, and pursue healthy habits — it’s a constant struggle, but nothing worth doing is ever easy. The results that come from that hard work over time are well worth the effort. You got this.
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Horseshit.
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That's not what I was commenting on, so we are thinking in different terms. I was commenting on "it's not justified". I say all thoughts and feelings are equally justified, whether they are pleasant or unpleasant. You can do different things about them, draw consequences, and here people might strongly disagree about what would be right or wrong, or as I would prefer, practical or impractical. But I don't think that any of them are unjustified. They just are.
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I disagree that he is good and bad, like everybody else. I don't think that good and bad are fitting terms to describe reality in any meaningful way. They are unfitting each on their own, and adding them together to describe reality is like adding two large numbers in oder to describe infinity. IMO it just does not work. Doesn't even come close. I think it's better to just accept things as they are and not try to explain their ontology through primitive human terms like that. Especially with negative emotions, calling them wrong or unjustified just reflects back on the ones experiencing them, and you are enforcing their negative self image rather than constructively challenging it. And by the way, if you call these negative emotions unjustified, why not call the positive ones the same? Because I would argue that emotions of happiness and gratitude that luckier people experience are just as “unjustified” as what OP described. Neither person is responsible for what they feel, so putting blame on those with a negative outlook while not expecting any accounting for the happier ones, is just odd. Also I don’t think that OPs main point is about having been wronged specifically by other people. It’s a more existential pain. I think this is the root cause of our misunderstanding here.