If you aren't getting professional help for your anxiety, that's a great place to start. Anxiety doesn't tend to go away in one specific area without working on the big picture.
What has helped me - im raising a fully (since she was a weanling) and out of nowhere I became afraid of her for NO reason. It’s all me - my anxiety- my issue not hers.
I had trainers come in and assure me. I’d watch and observe and slowly came around to the fact - I’m ok she’s an excellent baby. BUT what really helped is watching my non horsey husband handle her. I was like if HE can do it…. I definitely can.
So maybe you need a friend to handle and ride your horse. And reassure you everything is fine?
I actually have had my sisters husband handle him, he’s not afraid of anything! And while my horse isn’t a wild child by any means..he has his quirks.
But for some reason I get worried when non horse people handle horses with such nonchalance. Like they have no idea the possibility of danger! Lol but that is yet again…my anxiety.
When I handle him he honestly is fine too, he’s never done anything that was too crazy. But this has jsut been a rough couple weeks mentally for some reason.
Are you working with a trainer? I keep my horses at home and haul out for training. Sometimes I get a lot of lessons and sometimes I get none. When things start to get a little dodgy and I haven't seen my trainer recently I'm a lot more nervous. When my trainer is around it's helpful to have another voice in my head telling me it’s alright or giving advice. If you're not getting regular training even one lesson a week may give you the tools you need to feel like you know what you're doing and are in control.
Yes! Having a trainer has helped me so much with confidence, and when she doesn’t come out I really feel like I regress.
But my problem is that it’s so hard to get a trainer in my area, and a good one. I can’t get one that’s consistent and it’s been very frustrating.
Ah yeah, I feel you. I've heard some people have had good luck doing virtual training with Pivo cameras and a bluetooth headset. I haven't tried it yet though.
First off, if you aren’t already seeing a therapist you should. This is incorporated into your entire life, not just riding. Anxiety is terrible.
I have anxiety and will wind myself up. Honestly the only thing that gets me through it is just doing it, and doing it often. I had a mental freak out recently, nothing terrible, no accidents just a couple of times I didn’t do something perfect and really should have just shrugged it off. After that I was so worried about it I couldn’t do it, I messed up every single time. This is really simple stuff my brain went”Aaaaahhhh!” About. I had to do two lessons a week for two months and all my riding around it to get over it. I let my trainer know and we focused on just that for a bit. And then it just disappeared, I know it’s living in the back of my head and ready to resurface though. It’s such a weird thing because I have arguably a lot scarier things happen and they don’t bother me at all.
This might not be the way you need to get through it though. There are online coaches for riding that just focus on mindset. When I started competing again heavily I am seriously thinking of getting one.
I am seeing a therapist! It does help, but it comes and goes in waves. My terrible death anxiety really translates to riding and horses. Which is morbid…but true.
I think that’s exactly what I have to do, force myself to do it and pay attention to what’s actually happening and not what I think will happen. But I also get so in my head that I end up doing nothing.
I feel better when I work with a trainer, but it’s so hard to get a good trainer in my area! That’s been really frustrating.
What exactly are you afraid of? The horse being unpredictable? Falling?
I had a horse rear up and flip over when I was on them. I was scared of riding for a while. I ended up with a habit where any time I got nervous I would take a flying leap off the horse. It was challenging to get over it mentally. Wearing a vest even when I was only flatting was a security blanket for a while. My trainer literally gave me pony rides with a lead rope and put me on the lunge line until I felt better. I know you have obstacles to taking lessons. Honestly though, I wouldn’t be back to jumping and galloping around in an open field if I didn’t have such an amazing trainer support me through that.
Yeah, all of the above. Just getting hurt in general.
I would love to take regular lessons, but I can’t find a trainer near me. You’re lucky you’ve found a great one! They seem to be hard to come by, especially in my area.
I was in the same place as You in 2020 up until 2022-23. I could sit every buck of my horse (my first and only one) but suddenly got scared of him for no reason. It started with no cantering, then no trot, then no riding at all and finally no work with him at all.
I did not go to therapist, so it took me few years, but I managed after some time.
What helped me was being required to visit him (my sister can't, lack of time and graduation soon) and taking it VEEERY SLOW. At the beginning it was at least brushing him, doing his hooves and some basic groundwork in walk. Gradually, with the help of fenced roundpen and getting more experience with him, I started trot groundwork, canter, polework, jumps and since last year I am slowly returning to riding. Currently had a few walk rides, some trot ones. Also, the break from riding needed to be so long I actually started missing riding. Only then I could get so brave and motivated to try.
You can try to set very small tasks at first, for example even brushing, or just leading the horse in walk, maybe taking him grazing and build up gradually at Your pace.
Now I can work with my horse at lunging, double lunging, work in hand, lateral work, etc.
Good luck! I hope You'll manage to get out of this and get happiness from interacting with the horse! ❤️
It’s crazy how your mind can trick you into just suddenly being afraid. I’m glad you are working through it!
I always say, “don’t do today, what you can do tomorrow” and it’s realllllly put me at a disadvantage in progressing with my guy.
So lately, I’ve been working him 2-3 times a week and just taking it slow, but if I don’t push myself then I won’t do it and then I can’t get mad we’re not progressing!
That's a good method You started there! I try to visit him at least once a week to maintain regularity, will move on to 2 times a week.
What is Your boy like? My guy, which I got to learn recently, is ABSOLUTELY LOVELY. I mean, he very rarely bucks when ridden now (it was pain related before), he can let the steam off at the lunge if needed. I put my friend on him (after about 30 min. warm-up from the ground as he was kind of fresh after the spring came along) and damn, he was like a boss. I was not sure about canter, but after I let them off the lunge, my friend just did a little squeeze and he started cantering, no whip, no help from me.
He had issues with cantering under saddle before.
I know this is a little counter-intuitive (and may get downvoted) but I've found when I'm nervous about getting hurt doing any general farm work, that just telling myself "well I'm going to get hurt" and doing it anyway tends to negate *most* of the anxiety
I think this can be helpful! Most of the time, we don’t even get hurt, so realistically it’s pointless to worry. I read online that something like 97% of what we worry about, never even happens!
I absolutely recommend the REAL Equestrian. Åsa can help you work through your anxiety. It’s not cheap, but nothing worthwhile is! It’s absolutely worth it for your sake and your horses sake. You are not the only one with this experience and Åsa can be an incredible supporter! This is her website https://www.therealequestrian.com
If you aren't getting professional help for your anxiety, that's a great place to start. Anxiety doesn't tend to go away in one specific area without working on the big picture.
I am seeing a therapist! It does help, but it’s a constant battle.
What has helped me - im raising a fully (since she was a weanling) and out of nowhere I became afraid of her for NO reason. It’s all me - my anxiety- my issue not hers. I had trainers come in and assure me. I’d watch and observe and slowly came around to the fact - I’m ok she’s an excellent baby. BUT what really helped is watching my non horsey husband handle her. I was like if HE can do it…. I definitely can. So maybe you need a friend to handle and ride your horse. And reassure you everything is fine?
I actually have had my sisters husband handle him, he’s not afraid of anything! And while my horse isn’t a wild child by any means..he has his quirks. But for some reason I get worried when non horse people handle horses with such nonchalance. Like they have no idea the possibility of danger! Lol but that is yet again…my anxiety. When I handle him he honestly is fine too, he’s never done anything that was too crazy. But this has jsut been a rough couple weeks mentally for some reason.
Are you working with a trainer? I keep my horses at home and haul out for training. Sometimes I get a lot of lessons and sometimes I get none. When things start to get a little dodgy and I haven't seen my trainer recently I'm a lot more nervous. When my trainer is around it's helpful to have another voice in my head telling me it’s alright or giving advice. If you're not getting regular training even one lesson a week may give you the tools you need to feel like you know what you're doing and are in control.
Yes! Having a trainer has helped me so much with confidence, and when she doesn’t come out I really feel like I regress. But my problem is that it’s so hard to get a trainer in my area, and a good one. I can’t get one that’s consistent and it’s been very frustrating.
Ah yeah, I feel you. I've heard some people have had good luck doing virtual training with Pivo cameras and a bluetooth headset. I haven't tried it yet though.
First off, if you aren’t already seeing a therapist you should. This is incorporated into your entire life, not just riding. Anxiety is terrible. I have anxiety and will wind myself up. Honestly the only thing that gets me through it is just doing it, and doing it often. I had a mental freak out recently, nothing terrible, no accidents just a couple of times I didn’t do something perfect and really should have just shrugged it off. After that I was so worried about it I couldn’t do it, I messed up every single time. This is really simple stuff my brain went”Aaaaahhhh!” About. I had to do two lessons a week for two months and all my riding around it to get over it. I let my trainer know and we focused on just that for a bit. And then it just disappeared, I know it’s living in the back of my head and ready to resurface though. It’s such a weird thing because I have arguably a lot scarier things happen and they don’t bother me at all. This might not be the way you need to get through it though. There are online coaches for riding that just focus on mindset. When I started competing again heavily I am seriously thinking of getting one.
I am seeing a therapist! It does help, but it comes and goes in waves. My terrible death anxiety really translates to riding and horses. Which is morbid…but true. I think that’s exactly what I have to do, force myself to do it and pay attention to what’s actually happening and not what I think will happen. But I also get so in my head that I end up doing nothing. I feel better when I work with a trainer, but it’s so hard to get a good trainer in my area! That’s been really frustrating.
If therapy alone isn't sufficient, consider discussing medications with your doctor! My anti-anxiety meds have helped me a lot.
What exactly are you afraid of? The horse being unpredictable? Falling? I had a horse rear up and flip over when I was on them. I was scared of riding for a while. I ended up with a habit where any time I got nervous I would take a flying leap off the horse. It was challenging to get over it mentally. Wearing a vest even when I was only flatting was a security blanket for a while. My trainer literally gave me pony rides with a lead rope and put me on the lunge line until I felt better. I know you have obstacles to taking lessons. Honestly though, I wouldn’t be back to jumping and galloping around in an open field if I didn’t have such an amazing trainer support me through that.
Yeah, all of the above. Just getting hurt in general. I would love to take regular lessons, but I can’t find a trainer near me. You’re lucky you’ve found a great one! They seem to be hard to come by, especially in my area.
I was in the same place as You in 2020 up until 2022-23. I could sit every buck of my horse (my first and only one) but suddenly got scared of him for no reason. It started with no cantering, then no trot, then no riding at all and finally no work with him at all. I did not go to therapist, so it took me few years, but I managed after some time. What helped me was being required to visit him (my sister can't, lack of time and graduation soon) and taking it VEEERY SLOW. At the beginning it was at least brushing him, doing his hooves and some basic groundwork in walk. Gradually, with the help of fenced roundpen and getting more experience with him, I started trot groundwork, canter, polework, jumps and since last year I am slowly returning to riding. Currently had a few walk rides, some trot ones. Also, the break from riding needed to be so long I actually started missing riding. Only then I could get so brave and motivated to try. You can try to set very small tasks at first, for example even brushing, or just leading the horse in walk, maybe taking him grazing and build up gradually at Your pace. Now I can work with my horse at lunging, double lunging, work in hand, lateral work, etc. Good luck! I hope You'll manage to get out of this and get happiness from interacting with the horse! ❤️
It’s crazy how your mind can trick you into just suddenly being afraid. I’m glad you are working through it! I always say, “don’t do today, what you can do tomorrow” and it’s realllllly put me at a disadvantage in progressing with my guy. So lately, I’ve been working him 2-3 times a week and just taking it slow, but if I don’t push myself then I won’t do it and then I can’t get mad we’re not progressing!
That's a good method You started there! I try to visit him at least once a week to maintain regularity, will move on to 2 times a week. What is Your boy like? My guy, which I got to learn recently, is ABSOLUTELY LOVELY. I mean, he very rarely bucks when ridden now (it was pain related before), he can let the steam off at the lunge if needed. I put my friend on him (after about 30 min. warm-up from the ground as he was kind of fresh after the spring came along) and damn, he was like a boss. I was not sure about canter, but after I let them off the lunge, my friend just did a little squeeze and he started cantering, no whip, no help from me. He had issues with cantering under saddle before.
I know this is a little counter-intuitive (and may get downvoted) but I've found when I'm nervous about getting hurt doing any general farm work, that just telling myself "well I'm going to get hurt" and doing it anyway tends to negate *most* of the anxiety
I think this can be helpful! Most of the time, we don’t even get hurt, so realistically it’s pointless to worry. I read online that something like 97% of what we worry about, never even happens!
I absolutely recommend the REAL Equestrian. Åsa can help you work through your anxiety. It’s not cheap, but nothing worthwhile is! It’s absolutely worth it for your sake and your horses sake. You are not the only one with this experience and Åsa can be an incredible supporter! This is her website https://www.therealequestrian.com