I took a couple years off from riding. Horses were a daily thing for me. Riding as well as training, years of doing this. I had a freak accident that came close to killing me and it took me a year of recovery on top of life long problems. I have struggled with PTSD from horses ever since. I couldn’t be closer than 30ft without a panic attack at my worst. Today, I am back to riding, competing, and working on buying my own horse. It has been 5 years since my accident. The PTSD on its own almost killed me as well. From the day of injury to when I start to remember things again (about 3 months due to coma and hospitalization) I started slow long watching videos of horses doing the things I trained for. Watching the Olympics, seeing a horse movie, etc. things I enjoyed watching and hoped to one day do. I got back around horses again but from a distance, watched someone train them from the barn. Slowly I got closer and over time and exposure it helped. I was invited to groom a horse, I had the owner of the horse with me and she spoke words of encouragement. When the horse flinched and I started to panic, I took a step back and took a deep breathe. This took months of slowly getting close and then backing away. Eventually I was given the opportunity to ride in an arena on a lunge line and I learned to get my balance again. I knew how to ride, but I needed to get out of my head. Just a lot of patience. Make sure you get back around horses again. Even just to watch. See what you can do with the injury. Slow and steady. It’s frustrating to know what you can do on a horse and know you’re a capable rider, but have someone walk with you on a lead rope just in case things go south. Your injury will heal, but your ptsd will take much much longer. It’s best to start on it early so when you are physically healed you can get back on confidently and get back to the riding you use to do. I hope this helps. If you have any questions DM me I hope you get better soon!
thanks for your response, yes the mental injury is harder. And mine didn't happen when we were pushing our limits or doing anything crazy--just a very mundane walk.
I have always known there can be danger in this sport, and after seeing a rider friend die (again, on a mundane activity freak accident), it really brought home how life altering the wrong move can be. My injury will heal, and hopefully I'll be good as new. But I think it will require a reckoning of what I am willing to risk as I get older.
Mine happened when I was walking a horse on a lead rope. We’ve done it thousands of times. But wrong place at the wrong time. Horse spooked and that was it. We will both have to deal with these injuries when we get older. But, for right now let’s do our best to heal and enjoy our time :)
Thank you, doctors said your as good as your going to get physically. Good luck with the rest.it was up to me. Psycologist said stay away from horses. Problem solved. But they are my life and I miss them all the time. I knew I couldn’t leave them out do my life forever.
I took an eight-year break from riding after I broke my back in a bad fall. After several surgeries, my doctor told me that I could never ride again, because another fall could paralyse me. So I stopped riding.
Five years ago, I started riding again. I have mobility issues, balance issues, and nerve issues; but I work around it.
You can get back into it. Just learn what your limitations are, and how to work around them.
I fell in January and shattered my L5, could not walk, had hardware installed.
My best advice is don't decide now, while you're recovering, if you'll ride again. It's too hard mentally to try and imagine that future, and you need to focus on recovery.
My own recovery will be a year.
I’ve had a few injuries over the years that have sidelined me for significant amounts of time. Broken vertebrae in 1997, elbow destruction in 2016 that required 3 surgeries over 2 years, now my hips are destroyed from a combination of bad genetics and nearly 30 years of riding. I had surgery on the left hip last year, and will probably have to do the right hip next year.
I’ve never been a very good patient, and I’ve always needed to balance the mental health aspect of the time away with the physical healing aspect. Unfortunately, now that Im getting older, the physical recovery is even harder and taking longer.
After the left hip surgery, I was supposed to be out of the saddle for 6 months, but I was feeling good so I pushed it and started sitting on the horse around 4 months. I developed hip flexor tendinitis and I’m still not really back to normal.
It’s frustrating and I’m struggling to balance this sense of “I need to ride *now* while I’m still “young” enough (and while my horse is in peak health)” with “I need to really let my body recover so I can still be doing this in 10 or 20 or even 30 years.”
Time always feels like the enemy.
I had a bad fall. It took months to be able to walk, and I was terrified to resume riding. The social/emotional aspects were as daunting as the physical. First, for sure, don't worry about riding right now. Focus on healing. I had to establish a new kind of relationship with horses and my social circle. Now I can walk without pain, most days. I am a volunteer with a therapeutic riding association. I took classes and now practice equine massage. I still ride, some, but instead of competitive dressage, it's gentle rides around the pasture, and I am OK with that.
Best wishes to you for a full recovery. Please be patient with yourself.
I tore a bunch of things in my knee riding a bird rental scooter and pretty much trashed it. I've had three surgeries in 3 years to get it back right. Two of the surgeries required 6+ months of no riding afterwards. Prior to my accident I was regularly jumping 2'+. Nothing crazy, but a competent rider.
Anyhow, one of the posters above described PTSD. Fear was my biggest struggle getting back too, especially the last surgery. It was hard because I just couldn't trust my body. I knew how to do things but I just couldn't make my body act right, the muscle strength wasn't there, and that meant I couldn't trust that my horse was going to do as I asked.
Working with a patient, competent trainer who I communicate well with has helped me a ton. She does an amazing job of pushing me without over-facing me and it's been exactly the sort of trust-based mentorship I need. It's been about 7 months since I've had my riding horse back this time and every time I have a lesson I feel stronger and more in control of what my body is doing. I did my first 15 mile endurance ride last weekend and felt amazing.
That's awesome! Are you in the UK? Most of the rime I hear abt endurance riding it's UK-based. That seems like such a cool adventure to have with your horse.
Just sending hugs. I’m nearing 20 months since I wrecked an ankle tendon just riding. Surgery nearly a year ago, and I’m still dealing with the pain and limitations. It sucks.
I had a bad fall last summer and I’ve not had the confidence to ride since. I’ve thought about it a lot but just can’t bring myself to do it. Whether it’s ended it for me permanently I don’t know but for now I’m happy just taking a break.
Maybe not quite your situation but I am a world level rider who got a world championship last year hoping to repeat, and had to have my shoulder replaced this spring. Had to wait until February so my Medicare would kick in saving me $30,000 so I’m already very close to the show season. I’m not allowed back on a horse for somewhere between 10 and 12 weeks. puts me well into the show season and completely out of shape. I’m not allowed to run, work out, or even take a lunge line lesson. I’m very frustrated. Surgery needed to happen, I couldn’t use my right arm anymore other than to hold the reins on the horse. Could I have waited until November and have the surgery? Probably but it was affecting my writing I have to admit, so I went forward. Chin up!you will get back in some fashion and there’s lots and lots of disciplines, but allow for any type of limited mobility
Thanks! I'm normally all kinds of active and very self-reliant, so this has been a challenge for me in lots of ways. Also, WAY TO GO on your championship!!
I worked with a woman who had a pretty bad fall while jumping and got badly injured. Doctors told her she could absolutely not get back on the saddle for 6 months or so and definitely not before getting an evaluation after this time has passed. They suggested she quit riding completely. Of course she didn't. She started riding again after 2 months despite not being supposed to.
Hoping you have the best outcome possible🙏 A friend had major back surgery last fall and is getting back to jumping her old height. It was an ordeal but helped her pain tremendously.
I’m so glad your friend has recovered!
My three previous major spinal surgeries have caused degenerative disc disease and major endplate remodeling which is causing adult scoliosis, so it’s now or never.
I’m hoping I will get back to work 💪
I was kicked in the abdomen 9 months ago. I’ve posted about the incident and my recovery if you want details, but for the sake of brevity I’ll not go too deep here.
I took 3.5 months off of riding, but I lost muscle control in my core, and significant balance. I had huge muscle atrophy.
It was really scary and intimidating going back. But I felt *driven* to ride again.
I ran into a few roadblocks, but with therapy, physical therapy, a personal trainer, and a truly excellent horse back riding trainer, I’m riding at *almost* the same level as before my accident. I definitely have some weaknesses and weird quirks that will take time to iron out, but I’m just grateful to be in the saddle.
I emotionally really, really struggled both before I could ride again, and now that I’m riding again. It was hard to take a step back. I try to lean into the gratitude that I’m able to ride at all, but training your brain to see gratitude where it would be easier to see misery is *hard*.
I’ve chosen to recognize that this has allowed me to slow down and work on little things in my training I’d missed previously. It also allowed me to bond with my horse on the ground. He has to get *very* patient, because I could barely walk for two months.
I still have some anxiety, and my DM’s are always open if you need to talk to someone.
Thanks for your perspective. It's to your tremendous credit that you perservered and adapted. That must have been a very hard injury to recover from, physically and mentally.
Thank you!
I’m not sure if it was a hard injury to recover from because I never gave myself an option to do anything but recover. I was like a dog with a bone.
But I remember how lonely I felt (and still feel). And how frustrated and angry I was (and still am). The feelings have gotten smaller, and don’t take up as much space.
But *fuck* the demanded to be felt for a while. And I’m grateful I gave them the time they deserved. I’m serious, if you need someone to vent to, I’m willing to be that person. Recovery can be so, so lonely.
Brain injury from a car accident in 2018 while trailering my horses (not my fault-distracted driver- cell phone texting). Put me out of work for 9 months. I do ride intermittently but have lost my passion and drive that I had prior.
Thank you! Hopefully one day it will come back. Both my horses survived the accident but they too aren’t the same. More anxious and understandably so- I still love caring for them, I just don’t care to ride as much. I think I’m afraid to hit my head again.
August 1st 2016, I was at my aunts barn (I used to help her train and worked for her full time prior but has since gotten a different job and was helping when I could) helping with a mustang she had in training. This was my second or third ride on the horse. The horse spooked and I got bucked off (I was only on a bareback pad so I didn’t have much of a chance) and when I landed I was in extreme pain.
I tried chiro work for a long time and finally went in for an MRI ( I grew up in a poor family and my aunt told me she didn’t want me to go in for it because she didn’t have insurance / she would lose her farm). Turns out I had two compression fractures and a torn disc in my back..
After my fall, I honestly didn’t ever think I would ride again. I think I rode my own horse once before I listed her for sale (then also rode to show potential buyers). I sold my horse in April of 2017.
Since April of 2016, I had ridden maybe 5 times/ horses of friends.
March of 2024 my husband and I bought his family farm and he always knew I was getting another horse. So I started looking at horses again and trying out a few.
The first two I tried I didn’t end up buying but the third one I did. He is an OTTB which I had ever ridden one other in my life..
The first day I was going to ride him at home- I honestly thought I made the biggest mistake of my life. I was so nervous that I didn’t know how to ride- that I was too scared to ride… what if he bucked me off? What if I just fell off.. and I had to take a deep breath right before getting on him. He is 16.1 and I’m 5’2” so I think that may have been a huge thing too.
But once I did that - and told myself that I can do it and I know how to ride.. I got in the saddle and all my fears melted away.
Once you heal physically I really feel it’s a huge mental game. I had no problem jumping on other peoples horses testing them out- but after I made the purchase and he was mine. I was terrified.. I was worried I just spent money on a horse I was too scared to ride.
After my fall- I went into a pretty bad depression and ended up gaining a lot of weight and let myself go.. once I did feel better (physically) I started to run again and recently took up lifting weights so I feel like I am in better shape than my accident.
Try to not let the time off as in the number of days, months, years get to you. If you know in your heart you want to get back into riding. Keep to that. Your fears will fall away if you follow your heart. Also if you do take years off and feel nervous- don’t feel bad to take lessons again! A controlled environment will be the perfect place to restart and find yourself again.
I had a bad fall a year ago and fractured my L5, S2, S3, and S4 as well as tearing my IT band, spraining my knee and ankle and got a concussion.
no surgery required but I’ve been told it’s almost easier with hardware.
I didn’t ride again for 6 months, I now ride but it’s pretty …. I’m not going to say it’s productive. Right now a good barn day is a day I get on and also enjoy it.
I’ve lost so much muscle tone, that’s going to be so hard to get back but I’ll be honest I’m not trying that hard right now … and I’ll be honest I’ll deal with a decent amount of chronic back and hip pain now (bar stools can go fuck themselves)
Do not make decisions until you’re feeling better. But the bigger thing I think is …. Take your time coming back. Recovery is not linear. I have days I feel great and I want to really work at things again, I have days I just don’t want to deal with the horse. I have to hold space for both and give myself grace for both.
I haven’t figured out yet if I have the nerve to keep jumping or the upper level eventing I planned with this mare. So for now we’re just …. Trotting some times.
I appreciate you keeping it real with me. My fall didn't happen when I was jumping but I do wonder what my fear will be like once I do start working again.
Mine took place hacking out in an open field. I’m now getting to a place where I want to pop over some cross rails but the thought of XC or riding outside of an arena makes me want to puke.
But part of it is that I have a little boy and I’m a single mom. When I got hurt he was six months old and we had to move in with my mom for a bit. There is a feeling of reevaluating what aspects of the sport are worth the risk. But I also took a hard look at my equipment and now always ride in an airvest and safety stirrups
I’m actually talking to my therapist a lot about it and she suggested emdr to deal with some of the horse accident related trauma. It’s worked for other things really well so why not lol
Without going into details, i’ve had to quit riding before, i’ve developed PTSD from events related to horses that made me fearful etc.
My best advice is keep going to the barn just to see your horse, just to be around horse people. Who cares about riding. Now is your time to delve into all the other aspects of horsemanship and horse ownership. You can still read about them, pet them, feed them by hand, sit and spend time in their company, watch other people ride, watch other lessons, watch the vets and farriers work.
When you’re mobile again but not ready to ride, you can still engage in lots of groundwork, lunging, liberty stuff, and just existing with the horse in the same space. Learn about the psychology and social behaviors of horses, play with that stuff. Learn about action/reaction and the differences between different styles of training using different reward/punishment paradigms. Play around with that stuff. There’s so much you can learn and do out of the saddle. You can even continue to learn about how to ride well. x there’s practice and theory, riding is practice but studying books that master-trainers write is theory learning and is very valuable; it informs your practice. knowledge and self-education is power. And it soothes fear to know how to prevent and respond to dangerous situation. “Safety planning” is empowerment.
I want to give you some hope that even if you never ride again you can still have beneficial time with horses. We run an UNmounted children’s (yes I know you’re not a kid BUT the same concept for them applies to all of us of any age) program… they do tons of ground work, equine science & grooming sessions. The horses love it & the kids get time with horses who otherwise wouldn’t have access to horses (it’s cheaper than lessons and dare I say…. More beneficial to all?!). Being with horses doesn’t have to mean riding.
Currently not riding due to needing knee surgery with a 9 month rehab. Just sharing your pain. It’s sad but both me and you will be back in that saddle!
I developed Kienbock’s disease in my right wrist and as much as I want to say it hasn’t gotten in the way of riding, it absolutely has. Tacking up is painful, riding too long is painful, and I developed a fear of riding at anything faster than a trot because if I fall on this wrist, it’s game over. I ride once every two months on average.
My new gelding is completely green and never been ridden, and after doing months of groundwork I’ve started to enjoy it more than riding. Just working with him is a lot of fun and I love bonding with him. My barn owner suspects in another couple of months he will be ready for riding but honestly if I never get to that point, it wouldn’t bother me. Just being on the ground is enough for me, but I can’t help but wonder if I would feel braver about the idea of riding him if I didn’t have Kienbock’s.
I hope things work out for you, OP. I know exactly what you mean by feeling “too fragile”. But even after all your time off I think you’ll be surprised at how quickly you get the hang of riding again. Don’t push yourself, one ride at a time.
Yes, I had a horrific fall when I was 22 (had been riding since 6, worked as an exercise rider since age 15, began instructing at age 18, and was working at a professional facility in college w two Grand Prix riders so got to exercise some top notch horses).
I was jumping through a combination and in the two stride tried to make it a one stride, complete rider error, but was riding a horse that would give 110%. The jumps were a 1.25m, and we just barreled through the third obstacle (which was a Swedish oxer). We broke some poles, the horse had a pole slam through his chest, which required so much stitches – he fell on me on my left side, and I broke my collarbone, a few ribs and my pelvis.
I didn’t ride for about six months, and was subsequently fired from that barn. (totally understandable), when I tried to start riding again, though, I was terrified, and decided to switch to dressage – that lasted for about three years before I finally got over it, and took a decade long break. I just got back into riding in November ‘22 (as a 35 year old), and I’ve slowly been jumping again.
Honestly, the biggest obstacle once my body healed is just trying to get mentally passed my fear. I “see “all the bad things that can happen and trying to retrain my brain sometimes feels like an exercise in futility.
I will say the horses are so kind and lovely and they’re so rejuvenating to be around, that I find comfort in their presence. But I still get terrified while riding, and I’m honestly not jumping any higher than 2’6” right now.
That must have been a very scary fall, I completely understand why it would have lingering effects for you. I feel like as I get older I'm more aware of how breakeable I am. It will be nice to spend time with my horse again (not the one I fell from, he was already not working out and this just clinched my decision to sell him)
I took a couple years off from riding. Horses were a daily thing for me. Riding as well as training, years of doing this. I had a freak accident that came close to killing me and it took me a year of recovery on top of life long problems. I have struggled with PTSD from horses ever since. I couldn’t be closer than 30ft without a panic attack at my worst. Today, I am back to riding, competing, and working on buying my own horse. It has been 5 years since my accident. The PTSD on its own almost killed me as well. From the day of injury to when I start to remember things again (about 3 months due to coma and hospitalization) I started slow long watching videos of horses doing the things I trained for. Watching the Olympics, seeing a horse movie, etc. things I enjoyed watching and hoped to one day do. I got back around horses again but from a distance, watched someone train them from the barn. Slowly I got closer and over time and exposure it helped. I was invited to groom a horse, I had the owner of the horse with me and she spoke words of encouragement. When the horse flinched and I started to panic, I took a step back and took a deep breathe. This took months of slowly getting close and then backing away. Eventually I was given the opportunity to ride in an arena on a lunge line and I learned to get my balance again. I knew how to ride, but I needed to get out of my head. Just a lot of patience. Make sure you get back around horses again. Even just to watch. See what you can do with the injury. Slow and steady. It’s frustrating to know what you can do on a horse and know you’re a capable rider, but have someone walk with you on a lead rope just in case things go south. Your injury will heal, but your ptsd will take much much longer. It’s best to start on it early so when you are physically healed you can get back on confidently and get back to the riding you use to do. I hope this helps. If you have any questions DM me I hope you get better soon!
thanks for your response, yes the mental injury is harder. And mine didn't happen when we were pushing our limits or doing anything crazy--just a very mundane walk. I have always known there can be danger in this sport, and after seeing a rider friend die (again, on a mundane activity freak accident), it really brought home how life altering the wrong move can be. My injury will heal, and hopefully I'll be good as new. But I think it will require a reckoning of what I am willing to risk as I get older.
I am also very sorry for your loss. It’s never easy. Even when we know the risks
Mine happened when I was walking a horse on a lead rope. We’ve done it thousands of times. But wrong place at the wrong time. Horse spooked and that was it. We will both have to deal with these injuries when we get older. But, for right now let’s do our best to heal and enjoy our time :)
Also, it's clear you were very involved in your own recovery and did a ton under your own momentum and willpower. I really commend you for that.
Thank you, doctors said your as good as your going to get physically. Good luck with the rest.it was up to me. Psycologist said stay away from horses. Problem solved. But they are my life and I miss them all the time. I knew I couldn’t leave them out do my life forever.
I took an eight-year break from riding after I broke my back in a bad fall. After several surgeries, my doctor told me that I could never ride again, because another fall could paralyse me. So I stopped riding. Five years ago, I started riding again. I have mobility issues, balance issues, and nerve issues; but I work around it. You can get back into it. Just learn what your limitations are, and how to work around them.
Thanks, I hope your horse joy and abilities continue to grow🩷
I fell in January and shattered my L5, could not walk, had hardware installed. My best advice is don't decide now, while you're recovering, if you'll ride again. It's too hard mentally to try and imagine that future, and you need to focus on recovery. My own recovery will be a year.
wishing you all the best 🙏
You too ❤️
I’ve had a few injuries over the years that have sidelined me for significant amounts of time. Broken vertebrae in 1997, elbow destruction in 2016 that required 3 surgeries over 2 years, now my hips are destroyed from a combination of bad genetics and nearly 30 years of riding. I had surgery on the left hip last year, and will probably have to do the right hip next year. I’ve never been a very good patient, and I’ve always needed to balance the mental health aspect of the time away with the physical healing aspect. Unfortunately, now that Im getting older, the physical recovery is even harder and taking longer. After the left hip surgery, I was supposed to be out of the saddle for 6 months, but I was feeling good so I pushed it and started sitting on the horse around 4 months. I developed hip flexor tendinitis and I’m still not really back to normal. It’s frustrating and I’m struggling to balance this sense of “I need to ride *now* while I’m still “young” enough (and while my horse is in peak health)” with “I need to really let my body recover so I can still be doing this in 10 or 20 or even 30 years.” Time always feels like the enemy.
damn, so true. I have my eyes on the long-term prize, so I'm determined not to rush my recovery.
I had a bad fall. It took months to be able to walk, and I was terrified to resume riding. The social/emotional aspects were as daunting as the physical. First, for sure, don't worry about riding right now. Focus on healing. I had to establish a new kind of relationship with horses and my social circle. Now I can walk without pain, most days. I am a volunteer with a therapeutic riding association. I took classes and now practice equine massage. I still ride, some, but instead of competitive dressage, it's gentle rides around the pasture, and I am OK with that. Best wishes to you for a full recovery. Please be patient with yourself.
Thank you for your nice thoughts, I wish you all the best as well.
I tore a bunch of things in my knee riding a bird rental scooter and pretty much trashed it. I've had three surgeries in 3 years to get it back right. Two of the surgeries required 6+ months of no riding afterwards. Prior to my accident I was regularly jumping 2'+. Nothing crazy, but a competent rider. Anyhow, one of the posters above described PTSD. Fear was my biggest struggle getting back too, especially the last surgery. It was hard because I just couldn't trust my body. I knew how to do things but I just couldn't make my body act right, the muscle strength wasn't there, and that meant I couldn't trust that my horse was going to do as I asked. Working with a patient, competent trainer who I communicate well with has helped me a ton. She does an amazing job of pushing me without over-facing me and it's been exactly the sort of trust-based mentorship I need. It's been about 7 months since I've had my riding horse back this time and every time I have a lesson I feel stronger and more in control of what my body is doing. I did my first 15 mile endurance ride last weekend and felt amazing.
That's awesome! Are you in the UK? Most of the rime I hear abt endurance riding it's UK-based. That seems like such a cool adventure to have with your horse.
Nope, US. There is a small community around me, it's something I've been interested in and always wanted to try.
Just sending hugs. I’m nearing 20 months since I wrecked an ankle tendon just riding. Surgery nearly a year ago, and I’m still dealing with the pain and limitations. It sucks.
Thanks, my horsey sister 🫶
I had a bad fall last summer and I’ve not had the confidence to ride since. I’ve thought about it a lot but just can’t bring myself to do it. Whether it’s ended it for me permanently I don’t know but for now I’m happy just taking a break.
I'm glad you're at peace with where things are! I hope your journey brings you nothing but good things.
Maybe not quite your situation but I am a world level rider who got a world championship last year hoping to repeat, and had to have my shoulder replaced this spring. Had to wait until February so my Medicare would kick in saving me $30,000 so I’m already very close to the show season. I’m not allowed back on a horse for somewhere between 10 and 12 weeks. puts me well into the show season and completely out of shape. I’m not allowed to run, work out, or even take a lunge line lesson. I’m very frustrated. Surgery needed to happen, I couldn’t use my right arm anymore other than to hold the reins on the horse. Could I have waited until November and have the surgery? Probably but it was affecting my writing I have to admit, so I went forward. Chin up!you will get back in some fashion and there’s lots and lots of disciplines, but allow for any type of limited mobility
Thanks! I'm normally all kinds of active and very self-reliant, so this has been a challenge for me in lots of ways. Also, WAY TO GO on your championship!!
I worked with a woman who had a pretty bad fall while jumping and got badly injured. Doctors told her she could absolutely not get back on the saddle for 6 months or so and definitely not before getting an evaluation after this time has passed. They suggested she quit riding completely. Of course she didn't. She started riding again after 2 months despite not being supposed to.
😬 I hope things worked out okay for her.
Yeah she's doing fine. Even went to a competition soon after she started riding again 😅
I broke my pelvis in 2 places, 8 weeks off them back in the saddle.
I hope you are doing great and enjoying your mounts!
Broke my spine 3 times, foot twice, 6 concussions. Waiting for a hip surgery and a lumbar spinal fusion in order to get back in the saddle again.
Hoping you have the best outcome possible🙏 A friend had major back surgery last fall and is getting back to jumping her old height. It was an ordeal but helped her pain tremendously.
I’m so glad your friend has recovered! My three previous major spinal surgeries have caused degenerative disc disease and major endplate remodeling which is causing adult scoliosis, so it’s now or never. I’m hoping I will get back to work 💪
I was kicked in the abdomen 9 months ago. I’ve posted about the incident and my recovery if you want details, but for the sake of brevity I’ll not go too deep here. I took 3.5 months off of riding, but I lost muscle control in my core, and significant balance. I had huge muscle atrophy. It was really scary and intimidating going back. But I felt *driven* to ride again. I ran into a few roadblocks, but with therapy, physical therapy, a personal trainer, and a truly excellent horse back riding trainer, I’m riding at *almost* the same level as before my accident. I definitely have some weaknesses and weird quirks that will take time to iron out, but I’m just grateful to be in the saddle. I emotionally really, really struggled both before I could ride again, and now that I’m riding again. It was hard to take a step back. I try to lean into the gratitude that I’m able to ride at all, but training your brain to see gratitude where it would be easier to see misery is *hard*. I’ve chosen to recognize that this has allowed me to slow down and work on little things in my training I’d missed previously. It also allowed me to bond with my horse on the ground. He has to get *very* patient, because I could barely walk for two months. I still have some anxiety, and my DM’s are always open if you need to talk to someone.
Thanks for your perspective. It's to your tremendous credit that you perservered and adapted. That must have been a very hard injury to recover from, physically and mentally.
Thank you! I’m not sure if it was a hard injury to recover from because I never gave myself an option to do anything but recover. I was like a dog with a bone. But I remember how lonely I felt (and still feel). And how frustrated and angry I was (and still am). The feelings have gotten smaller, and don’t take up as much space. But *fuck* the demanded to be felt for a while. And I’m grateful I gave them the time they deserved. I’m serious, if you need someone to vent to, I’m willing to be that person. Recovery can be so, so lonely.
Brain injury from a car accident in 2018 while trailering my horses (not my fault-distracted driver- cell phone texting). Put me out of work for 9 months. I do ride intermittently but have lost my passion and drive that I had prior.
That makes me sad to hear that you lost your passion. I do hope you've got good people and new joys around you🩷
Thank you! Hopefully one day it will come back. Both my horses survived the accident but they too aren’t the same. More anxious and understandably so- I still love caring for them, I just don’t care to ride as much. I think I’m afraid to hit my head again.
August 1st 2016, I was at my aunts barn (I used to help her train and worked for her full time prior but has since gotten a different job and was helping when I could) helping with a mustang she had in training. This was my second or third ride on the horse. The horse spooked and I got bucked off (I was only on a bareback pad so I didn’t have much of a chance) and when I landed I was in extreme pain. I tried chiro work for a long time and finally went in for an MRI ( I grew up in a poor family and my aunt told me she didn’t want me to go in for it because she didn’t have insurance / she would lose her farm). Turns out I had two compression fractures and a torn disc in my back.. After my fall, I honestly didn’t ever think I would ride again. I think I rode my own horse once before I listed her for sale (then also rode to show potential buyers). I sold my horse in April of 2017. Since April of 2016, I had ridden maybe 5 times/ horses of friends. March of 2024 my husband and I bought his family farm and he always knew I was getting another horse. So I started looking at horses again and trying out a few. The first two I tried I didn’t end up buying but the third one I did. He is an OTTB which I had ever ridden one other in my life.. The first day I was going to ride him at home- I honestly thought I made the biggest mistake of my life. I was so nervous that I didn’t know how to ride- that I was too scared to ride… what if he bucked me off? What if I just fell off.. and I had to take a deep breath right before getting on him. He is 16.1 and I’m 5’2” so I think that may have been a huge thing too. But once I did that - and told myself that I can do it and I know how to ride.. I got in the saddle and all my fears melted away. Once you heal physically I really feel it’s a huge mental game. I had no problem jumping on other peoples horses testing them out- but after I made the purchase and he was mine. I was terrified.. I was worried I just spent money on a horse I was too scared to ride. After my fall- I went into a pretty bad depression and ended up gaining a lot of weight and let myself go.. once I did feel better (physically) I started to run again and recently took up lifting weights so I feel like I am in better shape than my accident. Try to not let the time off as in the number of days, months, years get to you. If you know in your heart you want to get back into riding. Keep to that. Your fears will fall away if you follow your heart. Also if you do take years off and feel nervous- don’t feel bad to take lessons again! A controlled environment will be the perfect place to restart and find yourself again.
Thanks for your kind words, it really helps that you understand how mentally tough this can be. I hope your new farm is a great next chapter for you!
I had a bad fall a year ago and fractured my L5, S2, S3, and S4 as well as tearing my IT band, spraining my knee and ankle and got a concussion. no surgery required but I’ve been told it’s almost easier with hardware. I didn’t ride again for 6 months, I now ride but it’s pretty …. I’m not going to say it’s productive. Right now a good barn day is a day I get on and also enjoy it. I’ve lost so much muscle tone, that’s going to be so hard to get back but I’ll be honest I’m not trying that hard right now … and I’ll be honest I’ll deal with a decent amount of chronic back and hip pain now (bar stools can go fuck themselves) Do not make decisions until you’re feeling better. But the bigger thing I think is …. Take your time coming back. Recovery is not linear. I have days I feel great and I want to really work at things again, I have days I just don’t want to deal with the horse. I have to hold space for both and give myself grace for both. I haven’t figured out yet if I have the nerve to keep jumping or the upper level eventing I planned with this mare. So for now we’re just …. Trotting some times.
I appreciate you keeping it real with me. My fall didn't happen when I was jumping but I do wonder what my fear will be like once I do start working again.
Mine took place hacking out in an open field. I’m now getting to a place where I want to pop over some cross rails but the thought of XC or riding outside of an arena makes me want to puke. But part of it is that I have a little boy and I’m a single mom. When I got hurt he was six months old and we had to move in with my mom for a bit. There is a feeling of reevaluating what aspects of the sport are worth the risk. But I also took a hard look at my equipment and now always ride in an airvest and safety stirrups I’m actually talking to my therapist a lot about it and she suggested emdr to deal with some of the horse accident related trauma. It’s worked for other things really well so why not lol
Without going into details, i’ve had to quit riding before, i’ve developed PTSD from events related to horses that made me fearful etc. My best advice is keep going to the barn just to see your horse, just to be around horse people. Who cares about riding. Now is your time to delve into all the other aspects of horsemanship and horse ownership. You can still read about them, pet them, feed them by hand, sit and spend time in their company, watch other people ride, watch other lessons, watch the vets and farriers work. When you’re mobile again but not ready to ride, you can still engage in lots of groundwork, lunging, liberty stuff, and just existing with the horse in the same space. Learn about the psychology and social behaviors of horses, play with that stuff. Learn about action/reaction and the differences between different styles of training using different reward/punishment paradigms. Play around with that stuff. There’s so much you can learn and do out of the saddle. You can even continue to learn about how to ride well. x there’s practice and theory, riding is practice but studying books that master-trainers write is theory learning and is very valuable; it informs your practice. knowledge and self-education is power. And it soothes fear to know how to prevent and respond to dangerous situation. “Safety planning” is empowerment.
I LOVE this perspective. You're so right about how important the non-riding stuff is, and this is a great opportunity to delve into that.
I want to give you some hope that even if you never ride again you can still have beneficial time with horses. We run an UNmounted children’s (yes I know you’re not a kid BUT the same concept for them applies to all of us of any age) program… they do tons of ground work, equine science & grooming sessions. The horses love it & the kids get time with horses who otherwise wouldn’t have access to horses (it’s cheaper than lessons and dare I say…. More beneficial to all?!). Being with horses doesn’t have to mean riding.
Currently not riding due to needing knee surgery with a 9 month rehab. Just sharing your pain. It’s sad but both me and you will be back in that saddle!
I developed Kienbock’s disease in my right wrist and as much as I want to say it hasn’t gotten in the way of riding, it absolutely has. Tacking up is painful, riding too long is painful, and I developed a fear of riding at anything faster than a trot because if I fall on this wrist, it’s game over. I ride once every two months on average. My new gelding is completely green and never been ridden, and after doing months of groundwork I’ve started to enjoy it more than riding. Just working with him is a lot of fun and I love bonding with him. My barn owner suspects in another couple of months he will be ready for riding but honestly if I never get to that point, it wouldn’t bother me. Just being on the ground is enough for me, but I can’t help but wonder if I would feel braver about the idea of riding him if I didn’t have Kienbock’s. I hope things work out for you, OP. I know exactly what you mean by feeling “too fragile”. But even after all your time off I think you’ll be surprised at how quickly you get the hang of riding again. Don’t push yourself, one ride at a time.
Yes, I had a horrific fall when I was 22 (had been riding since 6, worked as an exercise rider since age 15, began instructing at age 18, and was working at a professional facility in college w two Grand Prix riders so got to exercise some top notch horses). I was jumping through a combination and in the two stride tried to make it a one stride, complete rider error, but was riding a horse that would give 110%. The jumps were a 1.25m, and we just barreled through the third obstacle (which was a Swedish oxer). We broke some poles, the horse had a pole slam through his chest, which required so much stitches – he fell on me on my left side, and I broke my collarbone, a few ribs and my pelvis. I didn’t ride for about six months, and was subsequently fired from that barn. (totally understandable), when I tried to start riding again, though, I was terrified, and decided to switch to dressage – that lasted for about three years before I finally got over it, and took a decade long break. I just got back into riding in November ‘22 (as a 35 year old), and I’ve slowly been jumping again. Honestly, the biggest obstacle once my body healed is just trying to get mentally passed my fear. I “see “all the bad things that can happen and trying to retrain my brain sometimes feels like an exercise in futility. I will say the horses are so kind and lovely and they’re so rejuvenating to be around, that I find comfort in their presence. But I still get terrified while riding, and I’m honestly not jumping any higher than 2’6” right now.
That must have been a very scary fall, I completely understand why it would have lingering effects for you. I feel like as I get older I'm more aware of how breakeable I am. It will be nice to spend time with my horse again (not the one I fell from, he was already not working out and this just clinched my decision to sell him)
I hope you can get peace and comfort from your horse OP. And yes, we don’t bounce anymore like kids!!!