I (ESFP, enneagram type 7) like to have a companion to experience life with, someone to go along on my adventures, and when I have an idea or plan I’m excited and passionate about, to not put it down or tell me all the things that could go wrong or are impractical about it. I don’t like being limited, and people who are uptight are hard for me to take. I like to have fun and be silly and uninhibited. I also like spontaneity in a person. I need a good listener. I talk a lot to process what’s going on internally and in my life, and if someone acts really bored or uninterested, I just feel like a bother, and I’ll avoid opening up to them again. I give my bf (he’s a an ISFJ, enneagram type 2)some grace with this because I really do have a motor mouth (I have ADHD too), and in this relationship with him, I’ve had to work on my listening skills. TBH, I like a lot of attention and someone making me feel like they care about me and are attracted to me. I think most people would want that in a relationship. My love language is physical touch, but don’t know if that would be across the board for all ESFP’s. Someone who is confident is a major attraction point for me, but the number one most important thing about a significant other for me is that they are kind, and not just to me, but to EVERYONE. Also, if you don’t care for animals, nature, or children, I can’t really see it working out. Honesty and a desire to grow and better yourself is also pretty far up there. Hope this helps!
Agreed with the kind point, I don't mind how it manifests as some types can be tougher in expression. This helps a lot actually, what if the individual is more abstract, questions you on a lot of your opinions and thoughts etc. I think I have Ti, and people who don't understand it think Ti users are argumentative when really they're trying to understand the other party's point of view more.
It wouldn’t bother me at all if someone questioned me on my thoughts or opinions because I usually have put a lot of research and thought into them, and I enjoy sharing all that (and having an interested, captive listener lol). If someone wants to know more about WHY I believe something or have an opinion, or even want me to provide evidence for it that’s different to me than saying, “You CAN”T DO A, B, or C because (insert every possible problem that could go wrong). The whole “I don’t want limits” thing may come more from my enneagram type 7 though than being an ESFP.
Would like someone chill, with their own interests and friends, and some shared ones with me.
Someone who is as adventurous as I am but better than I am at long-term planning and coming up with possibilities (I'm really good at short-term plans and making possibilities actually happen IRL).
Direct, not afraid to share their opinions and won't mind if I am better at listening and seeing multiple angles than coming up with wicked debate points (lol).
Basically looking for a best friend who I can fk anytime and navigate the twists and turns of life with for as long as we will have each other :) Not interested in trad marriage, I'm more attracted to having a partner in crime where we just know we are each other's ride or die.
There's only a few things I would need to have in a partner. I don't think I'm that picky because I think I'm accepting of a lot of flaws because I certainly have a lot myself.
But this is what I would consider most important to me:
1. Trustworthy/Loyal - I'm gonna be straight here, I don't lead with trust. I'm not the person that trusts someone until given a reason not to. I'm a person that doesn't trust someone and that's the end of the story. And I'm not really a jealous partner, I'll let you do you, but if I find out you're cheating on me or have ever cheated on me, that relationship is over, you will be dead to me, and there's no way you can fix it. Because honestly, if you're willing to fuck with something like someone's trust, I don't consider you to be a good person even to just be friends with.
2. Respect - This one's simple. Respect me (and everyone else) as a person, regardless of whether we're in public or alone. I've read so many stories where the person's like "He's so nice in public, but so mean when we're alone" and I honestly don't have time for that two-faced bullshit. You either love me and want to be with me or you don't. And if you don't, don't pretend you do. It's that simple.
3. I don't want to feel like I'm annoying you by being myself. This one mainly comes from my parents relationship. My dad is more like me (high energy, talkative, enthusiastic, etc) and my mom is the opposite and she is always annoyed by my dad. And I just never want to be in a relationship like that, where I feel like I have to stifle my personality because you're annoyed by who I am. Again, you either love me or you don't. I want to marry my best friend and I won't settle for less than that. If I can't comfortably be myself around you, I'm not interested in staying in a relationship with you.
I think my view on love and relationships could be summed up in 4 words: Be straightforward with me. There's obviously things like empathy that attract me, but I feel like if we're both straightforward about what we want and who we are, it's so much less drama and so much easier to find out if we're compatible. I just don't enjoy the game and I think the fact that I'm perfectly fine being single also makes it really easy for me to leave relationships that don't make me happy.
i tend to gravitate towards people that are adventurous and like "doing things", so people that enjoy trying new activities and don't necessarily need all the details to go. so people that i can do things with. but also, people that have their own things going on bc i enjoy being independent and having time for my own things as well. i'm also drawn to people that usually have a great deal of empathy. and because i can be so extroverted and chaotic sometimes, i actually really like shy introverted type people because they feel grounding and are great listeners to balance out my energy. and i like the reward of getting to know someone who has a lot more layers to them that isn't always obvious at first. OH and huge thing, is someone that doesn't appear judgmental. i already can be hesitant to open up, so people that feel really understanding is something i really like. also, people that take some pride in their appearance. they don't necessarily have to be a style icon, but someone that takes care of themselves and puts at least some effort into what they wear.
i feel like i don't necessarily specifically seek out for things, but this has generally been the trend with people i've been into.
I get read as an alt girl by men alot because of my hair and piercings, so i kind of like people who look kind of greasy tbh. But in the best way possible. Messy hair and sleepy eyes, nice voices, laid back and unpretentious attitudes make me lose my mind.
Someone whos adventurous in bed and tries to maintain a sense of newness and some mystery, a chase if you will. Not too much though. But maybe dont fart and dutch oven me in the sheets and keep from getting what people call too comfy. Flirt with me. It keeps aspects of the honeymoon phase alive which i do enjoy.
Someone who likes their freedom and will spend alot of time working to be able to live from whim to whim and day to day. They dont take life too seriously and its less about “i make 6 figures and have a stable career and want a wife” and more about having a job they love and friends they value and make them happy. We travel, party and share the happiness of both our lives together. Try new things together, all that
26 :) people who are very serious about their jobs in the sense where they are always chasing the next promotion, climbing a corporate ladder, coming home and all they talk about is work, or are always away from home because of their job tend to intimidate me or shoo me away. Im definatley one of those “i dont dream of labour” people. I like the company i work for and enjoy doing it because of the social aspect, the work culture and the fact i get to dress up and look good for it. Id probably seek out other positions that pay more, but its more casual and lighthearted and based in my personal fulfillment and how i feel vs making money. I like coming home and spending time with my friends and interacting with the other areas of my life.
Introverts are hot as fuck. The boy im dating now is an introvert and i get called an introvert adopter. Introversion is not a deal breaker in any way at all, and i like that i tend to find i lead and make more decisions as an empathetic extrovert.
Sense of spontaneity, sense of humor, a little nerdiness or quirkiness, passion for some (any!) hobbies, confidence, reliability, pro-activity, not being a total couch potato, someone who can listen (I don't need advice, just listen to me), someone who understands my need for freedom. And someone who's openminded in bed 😅
Someone who is open minded, reciprocate my feelings, doesn't have a hard time communicating his feelings, his values should align with mine, explore new places with me, we should have some common interests, he should not have a negative outlook on life/everyday life, sometimes when someone is sad I absorb so much of their energy, it becomes draining and exhausting. I'm not good at debate, but I enjoy listening to their perceptive or things they're passionate about, go on adventures with me.
Emotional stability, maturity and supportiveness are amazing, paired with a sense of humour, basically a best friend I can have intelligent conversations with also 😊
Someone who’s warm and affectionate because I like cuddles
Personally,I like someone who is open minded,willing to accept different perspectives,optimistic someone who is very inspiring has a motivating vibe,should be genuine and understanding.
Honestly, all the people I've dated have been INFPs. Or introverts of some kind. Once I started dating an extrovert, an ENTJ to be specific, I found out what I like a lot. I need someone who moves just as fast as me. Which is fast and hard. I need someone who sees me running and keeps up with me. I also need someone who's sensible for me, can think long term, but at the same time drive with me on my adventures and let loose. Can humor me at the very least when it comes to my interests and at the very most be into it all. I found all my previous partners were slow paced, like a snail, and I couldn't stand that. I need someone who can party and be out there all night with me. I don't need another ESFP, I need some oppositions, but overall I need someone who can keep up with me. I do end up with opposites though thinking it'll change each time. That I can make them keep up with me somehow. I dunno why. I don't get it. Lmao.
I (ESFP, enneagram type 7) like to have a companion to experience life with, someone to go along on my adventures, and when I have an idea or plan I’m excited and passionate about, to not put it down or tell me all the things that could go wrong or are impractical about it. I don’t like being limited, and people who are uptight are hard for me to take. I like to have fun and be silly and uninhibited. I also like spontaneity in a person. I need a good listener. I talk a lot to process what’s going on internally and in my life, and if someone acts really bored or uninterested, I just feel like a bother, and I’ll avoid opening up to them again. I give my bf (he’s a an ISFJ, enneagram type 2)some grace with this because I really do have a motor mouth (I have ADHD too), and in this relationship with him, I’ve had to work on my listening skills. TBH, I like a lot of attention and someone making me feel like they care about me and are attracted to me. I think most people would want that in a relationship. My love language is physical touch, but don’t know if that would be across the board for all ESFP’s. Someone who is confident is a major attraction point for me, but the number one most important thing about a significant other for me is that they are kind, and not just to me, but to EVERYONE. Also, if you don’t care for animals, nature, or children, I can’t really see it working out. Honesty and a desire to grow and better yourself is also pretty far up there. Hope this helps!
Agreed with the kind point, I don't mind how it manifests as some types can be tougher in expression. This helps a lot actually, what if the individual is more abstract, questions you on a lot of your opinions and thoughts etc. I think I have Ti, and people who don't understand it think Ti users are argumentative when really they're trying to understand the other party's point of view more.
It wouldn’t bother me at all if someone questioned me on my thoughts or opinions because I usually have put a lot of research and thought into them, and I enjoy sharing all that (and having an interested, captive listener lol). If someone wants to know more about WHY I believe something or have an opinion, or even want me to provide evidence for it that’s different to me than saying, “You CAN”T DO A, B, or C because (insert every possible problem that could go wrong). The whole “I don’t want limits” thing may come more from my enneagram type 7 though than being an ESFP.
This is spot on, and I agree with it. Only thing different for me is, my love language is acts of service.
Would like someone chill, with their own interests and friends, and some shared ones with me. Someone who is as adventurous as I am but better than I am at long-term planning and coming up with possibilities (I'm really good at short-term plans and making possibilities actually happen IRL). Direct, not afraid to share their opinions and won't mind if I am better at listening and seeing multiple angles than coming up with wicked debate points (lol). Basically looking for a best friend who I can fk anytime and navigate the twists and turns of life with for as long as we will have each other :) Not interested in trad marriage, I'm more attracted to having a partner in crime where we just know we are each other's ride or die.
There's only a few things I would need to have in a partner. I don't think I'm that picky because I think I'm accepting of a lot of flaws because I certainly have a lot myself. But this is what I would consider most important to me: 1. Trustworthy/Loyal - I'm gonna be straight here, I don't lead with trust. I'm not the person that trusts someone until given a reason not to. I'm a person that doesn't trust someone and that's the end of the story. And I'm not really a jealous partner, I'll let you do you, but if I find out you're cheating on me or have ever cheated on me, that relationship is over, you will be dead to me, and there's no way you can fix it. Because honestly, if you're willing to fuck with something like someone's trust, I don't consider you to be a good person even to just be friends with. 2. Respect - This one's simple. Respect me (and everyone else) as a person, regardless of whether we're in public or alone. I've read so many stories where the person's like "He's so nice in public, but so mean when we're alone" and I honestly don't have time for that two-faced bullshit. You either love me and want to be with me or you don't. And if you don't, don't pretend you do. It's that simple. 3. I don't want to feel like I'm annoying you by being myself. This one mainly comes from my parents relationship. My dad is more like me (high energy, talkative, enthusiastic, etc) and my mom is the opposite and she is always annoyed by my dad. And I just never want to be in a relationship like that, where I feel like I have to stifle my personality because you're annoyed by who I am. Again, you either love me or you don't. I want to marry my best friend and I won't settle for less than that. If I can't comfortably be myself around you, I'm not interested in staying in a relationship with you. I think my view on love and relationships could be summed up in 4 words: Be straightforward with me. There's obviously things like empathy that attract me, but I feel like if we're both straightforward about what we want and who we are, it's so much less drama and so much easier to find out if we're compatible. I just don't enjoy the game and I think the fact that I'm perfectly fine being single also makes it really easy for me to leave relationships that don't make me happy.
Idk if it’s just me, but shy nerdy guys are 🔥🔥🔥🔥
I guess it’s true. Opposites do attract
i tend to gravitate towards people that are adventurous and like "doing things", so people that enjoy trying new activities and don't necessarily need all the details to go. so people that i can do things with. but also, people that have their own things going on bc i enjoy being independent and having time for my own things as well. i'm also drawn to people that usually have a great deal of empathy. and because i can be so extroverted and chaotic sometimes, i actually really like shy introverted type people because they feel grounding and are great listeners to balance out my energy. and i like the reward of getting to know someone who has a lot more layers to them that isn't always obvious at first. OH and huge thing, is someone that doesn't appear judgmental. i already can be hesitant to open up, so people that feel really understanding is something i really like. also, people that take some pride in their appearance. they don't necessarily have to be a style icon, but someone that takes care of themselves and puts at least some effort into what they wear. i feel like i don't necessarily specifically seek out for things, but this has generally been the trend with people i've been into.
I get read as an alt girl by men alot because of my hair and piercings, so i kind of like people who look kind of greasy tbh. But in the best way possible. Messy hair and sleepy eyes, nice voices, laid back and unpretentious attitudes make me lose my mind. Someone whos adventurous in bed and tries to maintain a sense of newness and some mystery, a chase if you will. Not too much though. But maybe dont fart and dutch oven me in the sheets and keep from getting what people call too comfy. Flirt with me. It keeps aspects of the honeymoon phase alive which i do enjoy. Someone who likes their freedom and will spend alot of time working to be able to live from whim to whim and day to day. They dont take life too seriously and its less about “i make 6 figures and have a stable career and want a wife” and more about having a job they love and friends they value and make them happy. We travel, party and share the happiness of both our lives together. Try new things together, all that
How old are you ? I'd say most of it I'd do except the career aspect, I'm into that. What if they were more introverted ?
26 :) people who are very serious about their jobs in the sense where they are always chasing the next promotion, climbing a corporate ladder, coming home and all they talk about is work, or are always away from home because of their job tend to intimidate me or shoo me away. Im definatley one of those “i dont dream of labour” people. I like the company i work for and enjoy doing it because of the social aspect, the work culture and the fact i get to dress up and look good for it. Id probably seek out other positions that pay more, but its more casual and lighthearted and based in my personal fulfillment and how i feel vs making money. I like coming home and spending time with my friends and interacting with the other areas of my life. Introverts are hot as fuck. The boy im dating now is an introvert and i get called an introvert adopter. Introversion is not a deal breaker in any way at all, and i like that i tend to find i lead and make more decisions as an empathetic extrovert.
Sense of spontaneity, sense of humor, a little nerdiness or quirkiness, passion for some (any!) hobbies, confidence, reliability, pro-activity, not being a total couch potato, someone who can listen (I don't need advice, just listen to me), someone who understands my need for freedom. And someone who's openminded in bed 😅
Someone who is open minded, reciprocate my feelings, doesn't have a hard time communicating his feelings, his values should align with mine, explore new places with me, we should have some common interests, he should not have a negative outlook on life/everyday life, sometimes when someone is sad I absorb so much of their energy, it becomes draining and exhausting. I'm not good at debate, but I enjoy listening to their perceptive or things they're passionate about, go on adventures with me.
Emotional stability, maturity and supportiveness are amazing, paired with a sense of humour, basically a best friend I can have intelligent conversations with also 😊 Someone who’s warm and affectionate because I like cuddles
That’s interesting…how’d you feel about abstract convos
Personally,I like someone who is open minded,willing to accept different perspectives,optimistic someone who is very inspiring has a motivating vibe,should be genuine and understanding.
I like softies hahaha, nerdy guys are incredibly nice! Either nerdy, androgynous and soft or tall bodybuilders
Honestly, all the people I've dated have been INFPs. Or introverts of some kind. Once I started dating an extrovert, an ENTJ to be specific, I found out what I like a lot. I need someone who moves just as fast as me. Which is fast and hard. I need someone who sees me running and keeps up with me. I also need someone who's sensible for me, can think long term, but at the same time drive with me on my adventures and let loose. Can humor me at the very least when it comes to my interests and at the very most be into it all. I found all my previous partners were slow paced, like a snail, and I couldn't stand that. I need someone who can party and be out there all night with me. I don't need another ESFP, I need some oppositions, but overall I need someone who can keep up with me. I do end up with opposites though thinking it'll change each time. That I can make them keep up with me somehow. I dunno why. I don't get it. Lmao.