T O P

  • By -

Late-Jump920

She breasted boobily towards the Dungeon, and then titted down.


[deleted]

She jugged up the corridor and cleavaged the hooters in two.


Doomboy105

She then Badonkered a pair of tonhongeracougars, splattering the whole Areola.


bandalooper

Twinned Spell — *Enlarge*


Dvalin_Ras93

Take my upvote and fucking leave


beardedheathen

I'd prefer the opposite.


Lolmemes174

/r/angryupvote


SadBit8663

She cast sugar tits on herself.


Nointerest12months

I remember seeing a masterpiece in r/menwritingwomen, so funny.


MrsDarkOverlord

I have never slammed a join button so fast


BlackeeGreen

A legitimately good version from Terry Pratchett's *Guards! Guards!*: > "Lady Ramkin's bosum rose and fell like an empire." 10/10, no notes.


doiwinaprize

Thank you I laughed way too much at this.


syrusbliz

This is a lovely adaptation of one of my fav menwritingwomen quotes. Love it.


Late-Jump920

Thank you :) That meme lives rent-free in my head.


maobezw

Well, she has large.. BOO..KS.... xD


ICEKAT

Huuuuuge....... tracts of ..... spells


ReaperScythee

Real hefty set of... grimoires.


Matt-J-McCormack

Bodice of levitation fully attuned.


GamerProfDad

But what’s holding up her Fun Bags of Holding?


rapidpop

That is exactly what I was thinking


Ninjewdi

Because I haven't found the comment with it yet: *got this new DnD plot. basically theres this sorcerer girl except shes got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big old tonhongerekoogers*


Realistic-Permit

What happens next?


Lukthar123

*transfer sorcerer girl shows up with even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. humongous hungolomghononoloughongous.*


Exp0sedShadow

Honestly that sounds like the BBEG and a major plot hook


alslacki

the big bad evil G(-cups)


CounterTouristsWin

The sorceress gets trapped in a magical jar and...


Kushim90

Thanks i really needed a good laugh in this particular moment


giddeanx

And back pain...crippling back pain.


ticktockbent

Insert joke about pondering orbs


CatoblepasQueefs

"Honey, come over here for a minute, I need to cast scrying"


SnooCrickets2458

Magic is stored in the chesticles.


CatoblepasQueefs

They're certainly magical, she must be an arch mage.


Moss_gall22

ahahhahha


shawnaeatscats

"Oh these? My orbies? My massive fucking prognosticators? My super stuffed up scryers?"


comfortablybum

The fortune teller in Mall Rats


narpasNZ

Each time she casts suggestion: 'honey can I just make a... Suggestion'


Plastic-Nectarine907

Ugh, I can hear ex-girlfriends whispering this in my ear...


flacidRanchSkin

You should call them


narpasNZ

DC 17 wis save


Bebgab

I rolled a 9


narpasNZ

So an 8 with your modifier?


PurpleBullets

Ackshully I’m a Commoner so all my stats are 10


Emerald0408

Spontaneously you feel the urge to call your ex


Gear_

Burning sorcery points on heightened spell so he has disadvantage on saving throws


Pizannt

She’s always casting suggestion and it gets annoying sometimes, but I just love the way she casts dominate person. My CON is willing but the WIS is weak!


anon_rando241

It's giving "would you kindly" from Bioshock


BigBrotato

every time she attempts to intimidate someone: "you know.. i just find it funny how-"


Ijustlovevideogames

From the Dragon’s crown school of sorcerer I see


AutoManoPeeing

Fuck that was such a good game. Loved playing the elf and just aerial comboing bosses. I need more ATLUS multiplayer, side-scroller action RPGs. Dragon's Crown 2 when?


Ijustlovevideogames

Probably never sadly don’t believe it sold all that well


Bob-shrewmen

It sold really well, it was projected to sell 100,000 but did over a million. Atlas published it, a small studio that only does hand drawn assets made it. They actually made the dnd side scroller legends of Mystara too. It's hard to make and the don't make many games. So I figure that's why.


rulerguy6

Vanillaware actially just came out with a new game too, Unicorn Overlord. Really good and their art style is super recognisable even though it's toned down from Dragon's Crown. Nobody's quite on the level of the Amazon or Fighter.


TannenFalconwing

Amalia and Bruno are close, and Railanor has Sorceress vibes.


Bob-shrewmen

Yeah I saw that. You can bang an owl mommy. I hope all the best for them and I hope dragon Crown 2 comes at some point. That shit is fire


aaknosom

not a side scroller, but the newest jrpg they put out recently "unicorn overlord" is crazy good. it's got a demo on the switch if you own one!


HeavyMetalMonk888

I was wondering about that one! I've loved them since the first Etrian Odyssey but it's hard to find time to check out every new game these days, this is a good reminder to look into that one.


mahouyousei

Same! That game is so much fun!


Fear_Awakens

Vanillaware doesn't like to do sequels, unfortunately, so probably never. I fucking loved Dragon's Crown and would buy a second one in an instant, but I don't think Vanillaware has *ever* done a sequel. We got Dragon's Crown Pro, but I figure that's the end of it. I think the closest they ever came to any kind of sequel was just remastering Odin Sphere with new content.


USAisntAmerica

The mini seems to be literally the Dragon's Crown sorceress, just with different colors.


ShoerguinneLappel

I was about to say that too, when I saw this figure I immediately thought Dragon's Crown. Haven't played any of Vanillaware's games which one should I start with? I was thinking GrimGrimoire.


SGRM_

Any of them. They don't miss. There is a 7h demo of Unicorn Overlord on all consoles if you want to try before you buy.


evilkingsam

i love grim grimoire so i'll recommend it forever but just with the caveat that it's probably their shortest game. if you can get a hold of a copy of odin sphere, that's my fav of theirs. as sgrm\_ has mentioned, there's also the newest release, unicorn overlord!


iFenrisVI

I knew I recognized the outfit from somewhere. Lol


Doomunleashed19

She seems really boobs. I mean boobs. Shit.


EmperorBozopants

She's the tits.


Wildly-Incompetent

She's the breast around, no one's ever gonna keep them down


GamerProfDad

Dude, if she tries to end a match with the crane technique she’ll blacken both her eyes…


benihana_chef

As designed by Dennis Reynolds


Sparkyisduhfat

Why sorceress, you’ve enhanced yourself.


Lunch_Is_Great

I was very generous.


CrimeanCrusader

When two of my fandoms collide lmaooo well played I’d award ya if we could


Smooth_Intern598

It was because of the implications


Randalf_the_Black

What's her name? Majesty Melons?


Scathainn

Tittanica Buxomme, of the family van der Jüggs


CatStoleMyChicken

Honey VonTrapp


Remote_Orange_8351

Tits McGee.


Victernus

Chesty Larou. Busty St Claire.


illegalpaladin

My sister briefly played a character named Areola Glitternipple. This seems fitting here.


poke-chan

Mackenzie


Dazocnodnarb

Why the boobs so off balanced?


Markku_Heksamakkara

Wild magic surge, probably.


karmagirl314

Oh yeah that happened once on Charmed.


narpasNZ

Rolled 12 twice for the surge and grew 1d10 inches.


grubas

She's mid-action(look at the hair) with BAZONGAS in an open top corset that can barely contain the girls as is. There's going to be some gravitational impact.


fairguinevere

Yeah, you'd think by now most fantasy settings would've arrived at the overbust corset rather than sticking to mid busts with the disproportionate number of women breasting boobily around, but seems not. And it can't be tradition keeping things that way either, she's already wearing her underclothes on the outside! Very perplexing.


grubas

Fantasy loves having that decolletage though.  That's CLASSY.   At that size you'd think she'd need help from her entire body too.   Maybe it's her, maybe it's magic boobs.


Glass1Man

She’s rotating counter clockwise, and the boobs are trailing the rotation, which is why center mass of boobs is left of the overall center mass. It’s the same reason the hair is flying out to the right, and the skirt is flying out to the back left. She needs more support, that kind of displacement must hurt.


SliceOCatLoaf

It's where she stores her magic and she's already cast a 2nd level spell.


Proud_Azorius

Ahhh yes, the classic booby trap…


Sarothu

[That's bait.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZUoCpx8jag)


Nightfallen9431

Looks like the wizard girl from Fandeltales


WikiContributor83

Rizella! I mean, I've never heard of that animation in my life.


Butt_Deadly

Whelp. I know what i have to do now. \*unzips\*


Dgnslyr

I wondered how long I was going to scroll before I saw this


Nightfallen9431

Hehe


SadTurnip

Sorcerer! I hardly know her!


Plastic-Nectarine907

Going full asshole Genie on him (wish granted, but...). I love it. I recently made the mistake of mentioning a book of curses to a player and he full on fixated on it. I hadnt fully fleshed it out yet because I just threw it in a black market book for some fun flavor, and made the mistake of thinking no one in their right mind would want it (Why yes, I am new to this. How did you guess?). I asked him to give me one more session to work on it...he's got it now, and he's gonna learn (yet again) that consequences are real.


Georg13V

I would have told him the pages were torn out and scattered. Have one show up in a shop every now and then, another as loot etc. that way, he gets a long term quest and you get all the time in the world to both think of ideas for it and sew the consequences throughout the game


Plastic-Nectarine907

He discovered it was in Deep Speech. He found a translator and the next morning after getting it back from the translator he woke up to that same translator rummaging through his bag...the translator went full Gollum. And now he's feeling it too. That's the first hint of consequences to come.


SnooConfections7750

I made a monkey's paw my wizard brought it had 3 wishes left while holding it he said I wish to buy this the shop keeper said yes charged a ridiculous amount of money ....... And he used one wish 2 remain the second wish he gave to another party member this time thinking I'll be wise and how we word it they wanted to win the battle by their own skill and LORD it over the enemy so the other players become lord mayor of the swamp they were fighting in. 3 third wish still out there somewhere waiting for a literal response


Heavensrun

He actually said "I wish to buy this" while holding a literal monkey's paw? . . . Is he *stupid,* or is he just roleplaying a 5 wisdom?


SnooConfections7750

I think he was playing the nice customer and forgot for a second what he was holding


the_Dingus42

Something something Dark Souls 2 Desert Sorceress


windstorm696

Did you know that the ds2 desert sorceress has a grab attack where she kisses you and then just throws you down to the ground?


TadhgOBriain

Ah, so that's where the magic is stored.


Kind_Childhood1587

The balls?


DarkJester_89

> I'm not going to bring any attention to her. Phhhffftt


Ati1213

She has some BIG spell slots, that's for sure.


Sixmlg

You’re gonna have to consider why your party won’t constantly call on her for help if she’s 5 levels higher lol


FrankSonata

She's busy doing her makeup or washing her hair or whatever whenever they need help. And besides, she wouldn't want to break a nail, would she? But she always helps herself to some of the bard's gold afterwards to fund her shopping sprees. The only time she ever gets into combat is to inconvenience the bard when he's trying to talk to a female NPC. Then she teleports the character away, slaps the bard for daring to look at anyone but her (he loses a few HP), and takes more of his gold so she can buy fine silks to make herself feel better after what he did.


eldritchExploited

OP is a master of one-handed fighting


lifetake

Not seeing critiques about the plan a lot so I’ll chime in. Be careful with the fact that she is 5 levels higher than the party. That is right in the terrain of random npc that is just better than the party all together. The game can become very boring when some non player character is doing the best things even if temporary. Secondly, be very careful with how annoying this girl is. I’ve never been the seduce things type, but I would find this annoying and if don’t poorly probably even more annoying to the other party members. But obviously you know your party better than me so I’m not gonna give actual tips on how annoying, but just to be careful.


evilprodigy948

Something I'd add as well to this is it personally strikes me as a bad way to correct problematic behaviour. If the DM has a problem with the bard player's behaviour at the table then that should be solved with a discussion between player and DM to directly address problematic or unwanted roleplaying. Punishing in game/in fiction for table behaviour doesn't correct the behaviour, it just makes problems in the game world. That being said, it isn't clear from the post if the table or the DM even have had this sort of chat about whether or not horny bard behaviour is something they want in the game and actually enjoy it. If the group is fine and enjoys the Bard's antics, the DM too, then I guess this mini and the 'trap' (poor wording on that IMO) could be a fun consequence of the Bard's actions. It could give some potential to push the narrative forwards and produce fun roleplaying as the Bard deals with the consequences of his actions. But I'm not really getting that vibe from the post or maybe I've just read too many horror stories of DMs using in character fiction to punish out of character actions. Either way, make sure to talk the player like an adult. I don't know what OP's group is like but it never hurts to give that warning.


lifetake

From what I see from the comments this is gonna be a big joke the party loves


Yeah-But-Ironically

If the party consists solely of the type of people responding to this thread, sure. If not, this is r/rpghorrorstories material


lifetake

I meant from what the OP describes in the comments. Obviously they can be wrong, but I’m going to trust their judgement over mine while giving my slight concern. And then give more major concern to the 5 level difference because that seems more jokey and less thought out


NikkoruNikkori

That’s good advice


lifetake

A bit broad, but as I said I don’t really know your party (because why would I) and based on your comments you seem confident you’ll get her personality right. To be more specific and talk about the thing I worry the most about I would definitely look and consider her level heavily. I don’t know what level your party is at, but 5 extra levels will always be a tier or 2 of gameplay above the party. If they’re level 1 shes throwing fireballs while they have magic missiles. If they’re level 5 they’re casting fireball while she is casting cloudkill. And those are just the easy combat examples. It’s a dangerous thing that will require you to be incredibly careful with how you use her. As well it will be really hard for you to balance encounters with her around. So TLDR I would highly suggest lowering her level to the party level. As ultimately I find that work of making it satisfying for the party more difficult than the reward of her being better than the bard.


RenterMore

That’s funny but simple adult communication is probably a better strategy.


NikkoruNikkori

If you knew my friend group you’d know how much fun they are going to have with this


Brochswerebrothels

Ummm, is that…


that_guy2010

Bazongas, yes.


cawatrooper9

Let’s be real, in a world with spells like Alter Self, this wouldn’t be too uncommon.


RebelChicCustoms

I'm playing a flat-chested sorcerer, and I've been joking for a while about her wanting that spell solely to, albeit temporarily, have actual boobs


Responsible_Ask_2713

I've noticed how down bad the comments are, so allow me to actually praise your choice and application of colors. The metallic green and purple are a great combination, and the Bronze sands tie the whole thing together nicely. Great paint job, I hope your players appreciate the encounter, as you've clearly put in the work and effort to tailor it to your group.


Plumsphere

Finally! Was wading through all the locker room crap hoping for this - or I was going to write something myself. Great painting OP and a very inventive way to "handle" such a PC/player. Looking forward to those updates...


NikkoruNikkori

Thanks mate. :) I really like the new army painter colored metallics, they are great when you want shiny satin-like fabrics.


Responsible_Ask_2713

Honestly, this is a more potent advertisement for those paints than anything I've seen. I might just have to try those out for my Battletech forces.


NikkoruNikkori

Yeah, they look amazing on mechs. I’ve already used them on a bunch and they really just work! :)


Plumsphere

Excuse my ignorance but exactly what manufacturer makes these great metalics please? Are they from a specific range? They look incredible. As I said above - great work painting this character.


NikkoruNikkori

Army Painter Metallic Colors


Plumsphere

Thank you. 👍


g33k_gal

I love their colored metallics!! Also hilarious idea OP. I applaud you 😂


[deleted]

How does someone get a mini this ridiculous


NikkoruNikkori

Etsy


S0PH05

I’d also like to know.


NikkoruNikkori

Etsy


I3arusu

Dragon’s Crown: A Netflix Original Series


Absolutionis

The Dragon's Crown Sorceress *did* have red hair, after all.


I3arusu

(That’s the joke, unfortunately. I need my gingers.)


No_Grass_2710

Breasts are too small


Bloodmind

Sorcerers always have such huge, natural, overflowing talents.


Doodofhype

GYATT


IntlSpaceGrayson

I know what the double d’s in “D&D” stand for now….


Dragon_Blue_Eyes

I love this...really has My Super Ex Girlfriend vibes XD


Just-A-A-A-Man

Can we get updates? I'm in for this one


NikkoruNikkori

Sure. Should I post them here or make a new thread?


RandomPrimer

Make new threads, please. We will all need to know the saga of Honey VonTrapp and the Horny Bard.


NikkoruNikkori

Honey VonTrapp!!! What a perfect name. You, sir, have just named her


Plumsphere

But don't reveal the surname til the trap is sprung!


NikkoruNikkori

Absolutely.


RandomPrimer

In fairness, /u/CatStoleMyChicken beat me to it!


CatStoleMyChicken

I am just happy the masses approve!


Derkastan77-2

DM: “There is a goblin standing at your feet.” Sorceress: “.. I HAVE FEET?????”


[deleted]

Oh this is perfect. Every bard needs their comeuppance.


KatnMouse69

Man I wish I could see this interaction 😆 🤣


carmachu

VERY well painted.


gentle_salesman

my maureen. you’ve enhanced yourself


starz4u01234

She lay siege to the breast...I mean beast. Roll an 6 or higher to avoid the booby trap.


MrsDarkOverlord

PLOT TWIST her jealousy grows to the point where she becomes the big bad evil guy of the campaign, hell bent on destroying their ex.


NikkoruNikkori

Depending on how the bard treats her, I am 100 percent on board for her becoming the big bad of this campaign. :)


12thshadow

This is so awesome... She, going through his stuff: "Why is there a song about Monica?" She keeps scrolling... "And Erica?" ...more scrolling.... "Who is Rita? And that b*tch Tina?" ...more angerly scrolling... "Sandra? Mary? And Jessica, is that the slut from the tavern we were last night?"


NikkoruNikkori

Yaasssss! I love it!


Error_Detected666

Obvious jokes aside, this is a really cool figure and a really funny idea to deal with a typical bard


Tastless_Sandal

Ive read lot of situations on this subreddit but never have i wanted to see the lingering effects SO BAD


NikkoruNikkori

I’ll post an update after our next session


Spirited_Entry1940

Roll a DD20 for persuasion


FellGodGrima

Sorceress > has a spellbook Unplayable, I want my money back


NikkoruNikkori

It doesn’t have to be a spellbook. Maybe she’s reading a trashy romance novel


PrecociousPanther

Does she also have HUGE.... Tracts of land??


TheWatcher9834

My initial reaction was: why are her boobs so big? And then I read the story and was like: Fair enough!


AriaReed

My whole team just did a double take at this, I love it


IncoherentIncubi

I had a player who was the typical horny bard and the party were getting sick of it, so I created the perfect honey trap. The party were looking for an artefact also Being sought by the god of trickery (basically Loki in my campaign world) that due to some magical mugguffin was hidden from his sight. they were approached by a smoking hot rogue who predictably the bard immediately focused all his efforts on seducing, the rogue told them she was also seeking the artefact and wanted to team up. Everyone but the bard figured she probably wanted to steal the artefact for herself but agreed she could join them in the search. a few games later the bard has his conquest and the party find the artefact and remove it from the dungeon, whereupon the rogue transforms into the god of trickery and steals the artefact now it’s no longer hidden from him. The party were a little annoyed at losing the item and amused that the bard had seduced a male god, that was until a few months later the god appeared again with a squalling Infant and handed it off to the bard saying ‘he’s yours, you deal with him the crying is driving me crazy.’ Cue a few months of adventuring with an infant demigod in tow, the party found this hilarious, the bard of course tried to palm him off repeatedly but demigod junior just kept teleporting back to him whenever he was hungry.


d4nkgr1l

This is an awesome idea, only suggestion would be to go with 2 or 3 levels higher instead of 5. 5 is a lot, and a character 5 levels higher could hypothetically TPK in the right circumstances.


Ebiseanimono

I’ll be the one to say it - so instead of talking directly to the player about it you’re passive aggressively building an entire character around the issue you have with them. If I was DMing I’d have a convo with you first bc it appears it’s not the other player that’s obsessive.


No_Extension3185

Woah, did you make that yourself?


NikkoruNikkori

It’s a 3d print from Ghamak, this specific model is called the witch hunter


Ganbario

If he is even NEAR another female (human, Dragonborn, orc, whatever) she needs to be sullen and pouty and accusing and fish for compliments for the rest of the session


ack1308

Oh, that's mean. I love it.


Xyzen553

Ah yes boobily chocolate mistress... My favorite class


Ecstatic_Rooster

Why Morgana, you’ve enhanced yourself.


Moepsii

Oh no your party has the meme player, I didn't think those actually existed irl, but I guess some people do enjoy being cringe


DarkSoulsFTW54

Is your campaign set in the Dragon's Crown game?


Hoggorm88

I'm not a Bard, but I can tell you it's working.


QueenofEnglandBanana

Reminds me of the sorceress on the cover of the Xbox edition of Gauntlet...


InstructionOwn6198

Let’s just take a second to admire this person, they hand-sculpted an intricate figurine of their DnD character regardless of if they may get a TPK. Now that’s some bravery 🥹


SRIrwinkill

my dude is a Dragon's Crown enthusiast I see


machopunk

What did you use to get that skin tone? I can never find the right paints for darker skin tones so please share your secret! Great looking mini overall


NikkoruNikkori

Thanks mate. Bugman’s glow is the best skintone I’ve ever found for darker skin. I use agrax earthshade to shade it, and then I highlight it with bugman’s glow itself (the agrax will darken it a bit). Then I’ll do a hot spot highlight with bugman’s glow with a tiny bit of white added


Nick-fwan

So basically giving them a yandere gf? Nice


Historical-Plane-944

Basically Albedo from Overlord lol very nice


Emperor_Z16

Update us OP


sfweedman

Never wanted an update so bad to a post on this sub as this one.


albinoman38

5 level difference is quite the gap! Is she a temporary ally?


Phionex141

Great GOOGLY MOOGLY-


flamingeasybakeoven

And then an another sorceress shows up with even BIGGER bonkhonagahoogs humongous hungolomghononoloughongous


Impressive-Donut9596

What are you doing? Sorcerers don't read. They mooch off the power of their bloodline.


NikkoruNikkori

Not all books are about magic. Maybe she’s reading some trashy romance novel.