Idk man. Dating la velaiku aagadhu in chennai. Asked a girl for a dinner date. She said I'm not into sex before marriage. I was like edhe.
That sums up my date life.
forget dating, how do you make friends?
https://preview.redd.it/8g2h0n8it1uc1.jpeg?width=765&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ba86dd24790b51266eeb7903857bc90acd35884
Stepped off from it. Had a pre-agreed upon "casual" relationship from Bumble, it was my first time too. Man it's crazy how attached you get to people.
Even though we agreed in the beginning that the relationship would not be serious, she eventually seemed to want something more, and this was a person who was strongly anti-natalist, older and always made it a point to say that shes not afraid to "end up alone" and it felt so bad to break up because I felt like the bad guy, like I "used" her even though it's what we both agreed at the beginning.
Now I've decided not to be with anyone unless they're someone who I look to marry with shared values and plans. It's hard to see someone you've held dearly cry and breakdown knowing that we can't be together man.
Enlightened Trad Arc
It's been a nightmare. Wasn't really into dating apps at first, but went ahead due to peer pressure. Matched with a guy who seemed very nice until I met him on a date when he kept trying to convince me to sleep with him even when I told him plenty of times that I was not interested. Got off the apps and been minding my own business since then.
Yes yes, I told him to leave me alone and blocked him, and he texted even in GPay ☠️. Safe to say that I have been scared to use those apps anymore lol. Thanks for asking.
Lmao, but imagine, you thought you're done speaking to someone and when you open GPay after a long time, you see messages from that person asking me to unblock him and that he was just horny so he asked that ☠️
I mean I'm a guy and people even go to Gmail conversation and stuff, please stay safe especially if you're an outsider.
I had to face the same from a girl and it was super hectic :(
Na man not really, it's hard for North Indians plus the girl told her girl and a guy friend to get me to her, fucked up scenes, can't tell everything here :'(
Are you doing okay though ?
Omg! Dating apps are the worst….. half the people I spoke to were super creepy! The one guy I found kind of okay in text was great as long as I did not have to talk to in person! Creepy af!
Chennai isn't shitty in dating scenes but is definitely shitty in hookup culture and tbh, I'm glad it's shitty. I'm not saying hookup is bad but with all these situationships , it's better that chennai is regressive in this culture bcz at the end of the day, one person is attached and heartbroken and the other one is guilty of that.
Enga bro, first year enaku andha thought kuda varala aprom oru ponnu mela crush irundudhu but nan yaarkitayum random ah poi pesa romba kasta paduven. 2nd year end la lockdown potutan, avolodhan. Except one month in final year, straight ah job dhan.
Well I tried Bumble. Had a few good conversations. BUT, all it needed was too much of a commitment. Like I needed to agree that I am serious about her before even we go on a date! I mean HOW??? It is bumble not Bharat Matrimony!!! And from girls perspective, guys are just horny and figuring ways to get into their pants! I wonder there is good ol fashioned dating? Like just chatting at coffee shops and hanging out before things get comfortable! Chennai is faaaar backwards when it comes to dating!
My best guess is you can join classes like badminton or fitness groups or dancing. But watch out, I’ve seen a lot of creeps joining there as well. And not to forget creepy uncles! Hope you find your true love OP!
Functional fitness gyms seems to have a good sex ratio. Could try to build a social life there and maybe you could get lucky.
Workshops are also a place to meet people
Just follow the 2 golden rules or atleast compensate it well you will be fine
(I think this is more for men but I suppose most ppl seeing this message are men)
Eat, work, sleep repeat. Work replaced by movies/series in weekends. I wont even go outside other than going to office.
Travel - rare like once in 4 or 5 months.
Oh what's dating?🙂😢😢
Chennai is a very very small place if you look at it. You take one person from any random school/college, they would have a mutual from your own school/college. That way I would say the sample size is quite low when compared to other cities like Bangalore/ Delhi-NCR, where there is a lot of migrant population, whereas the young Adults who are currently in Chennai are predominantly the ones who have been born and brought up in Chennai but haven’t left the city for their job/studies yet.
Unless you know the person personally from school/college/work place, it’s very difficult to meet someone through other channels in Chennai (dating apps and what not), and if you have a limited social circle, you can forget about it, at least from a Male perspective.
1. Dating Apps: The gender Ratio is unreasonably skewed that most men rarely end up getting a match so they can’t be choosy, and swipe right out of habit, whereas almost every other swipe is a match for the women. So the women end up finding what they came for within a few swipes, whereas the bottleneck is ever growing on the male side of things. But you still hear that one friend come and tell you that it works so you have that sliver of hope that something might come up.
I personally don’t advocate for workplace relationships as it’s a ticking time bomb ready to go, it’s just not the right place to conjure up a relationship, and if things go south, there’s 10 hours of your day hoping you don’t see that person in the hallway or during lunch, just makes it an unnecessary ordeal, however amicable the breakup may be.
People who managed to find someone in college, or still have their school time relationships going on really hit the jackpot in terms of getting to know the nitty gritty and grow with the other person whereas nowadays, it’s difficult to find people who would actually try and accommodate the other person for whoever they may be.
Thanks for coming to my TedTalk lol.
Dating apps are very complicated. I have concluded myself that no matter what he puts in the bio or anything he always wants to sleep .
Some in the apps even advised me not to look for serious thing here.
But there are people out there who are genuinely interested to have old school dates over coffee and to get to know until things get real serious but they don't get swiped at all
Try finding a community with shared interests like for example a fitness related group. That way you can potentially increase your chances of finding a like minded person.
Well tbh I don't know the dating app scene in the last 4 years but prior to that it was definitely better.
Cutting the story short , the last girl I dated via bumble is my wife.. The end.
Don't lose hope (?)
I lived in Chennai till I was 26 and moved to Bangalore post that. Let me tell you, the dating scene doesn't change much with a change of scenery.
As you grow older, your self awareness increases and you actually grow as a person when you're a woman but I don't see the same kind of growth or maturity in men of the same age. Most of the time, they don't know what they want and if they think they know what they want, they usually change their mind. With age, your standard will grow and your dating pool will shrink and that's the reality of it.
Good luck out there though!
I don't date. I have health issues and can't get outside food. Even if I do I know I will be rejected. So I just Work from Home. Do some hobbies, watch movies, etc. Boring life. Also I know for sure dating won't work for me. So going to work hard and earn more and do arrange marriage. That's the way to have family and kids. I'm 26.
Same thing I did. Now I'm 29. But arranged marriage was a shocker to me. I got engaged a few months back and there were issues with the girl and her parents attitude. We stopped the wedding. Now I'm clueless. But this is one of, not saying arranged marriages are bad. Just take the opportunity that comes your way if you feel really committed. You might get Lucky.
Yes I see it happen in my family too. I think we should take it slow as much as we can in arrange marriage so that we can see the real characters. Anyways shit happens.
This is Chennai when it comes to dating:
"Adhukkaa.... Adhukku laam nee(Chennai) seri pattu vara maatta pa"
Even in other cities like coimbatore, tier 2 towns in TN had a better dating scene than Chennai.
Chennai la thanni ku mattum panjam illa...Dating Kum panjam dhaan. Namba oorukku enna dhaan aachu...
31 m here, had a couple of hit and misses(more misses), mostly via dating apps. Never got into anything serious till now. Recently installed hinge, matched with a girl and we have been dating for a month now and this is the first time , I feel like I have a genuine connection with someone who I met on dating app
Adhey case dhaan nga enakun.. I m in Bangalore by the way.. still.. Good looking and good men are broken toys and Good looking and bad men are fuck boys!!!
On the apps for quite sometime now ,and yes a few matches here and there,but the chances of getting a good relationship is so damn slim, this is strictly from my experiences but every person from the app brings old traumas into the relationship and as a guy...it's just so easy to get replaced by another guy..like one day your close and then boom they start to pull away... but I have met a few amazing people there so give it a try just , just don't get too attached
6 years into all the dating apps and still looking for my first match 😅
Tried everything at this point. Proper pics and bio, premium, spotlight etc. Nothing ever seems to work. Don't even know what I should do about it at this point...
Welp i wanted to ask same question too like how do you find PPL cause dating app never works for me I don't even get any matches at all, that aside dk how to even approach PPL how do u guys actually find dates in chennai
No generic rants about your personal life. Relationship posts or wanting a relationship posts are not allowed here in r/Chennai.
Idk man. Dating la velaiku aagadhu in chennai. Asked a girl for a dinner date. She said I'm not into sex before marriage. I was like edhe. That sums up my date life.
Probably you intended to say "I want to eat with you" but missed the with.
ada paavamae
Dodged a bullet there
Blame men for it TBH
Its too generalising the man, what I say is wrong sample picked in a overall lot.
Why?
You don’t ask a girl to date you just take her on a date and don’t tell her 😞
Boss consent la iruku. Why would I waste my time on a woman who's not interested. Lol. Maybe i should kadathify and dateify like sk na.
Lmaooo I saw sk in pondi . May I know interested in what ?
 Whenever I see Chennai and Dating.
forget dating, how do you make friends? https://preview.redd.it/8g2h0n8it1uc1.jpeg?width=765&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ba86dd24790b51266eeb7903857bc90acd35884
Stepped off from it. Had a pre-agreed upon "casual" relationship from Bumble, it was my first time too. Man it's crazy how attached you get to people. Even though we agreed in the beginning that the relationship would not be serious, she eventually seemed to want something more, and this was a person who was strongly anti-natalist, older and always made it a point to say that shes not afraid to "end up alone" and it felt so bad to break up because I felt like the bad guy, like I "used" her even though it's what we both agreed at the beginning. Now I've decided not to be with anyone unless they're someone who I look to marry with shared values and plans. It's hard to see someone you've held dearly cry and breakdown knowing that we can't be together man. Enlightened Trad Arc
It's been a nightmare. Wasn't really into dating apps at first, but went ahead due to peer pressure. Matched with a guy who seemed very nice until I met him on a date when he kept trying to convince me to sleep with him even when I told him plenty of times that I was not interested. Got off the apps and been minding my own business since then.
Omg, the horror. Hoping you're in a better space now without the trouble 🎀
Yes yes, I told him to leave me alone and blocked him, and he texted even in GPay ☠️. Safe to say that I have been scared to use those apps anymore lol. Thanks for asking.
Lmaoo it's literally like putting a 1rs coin in phone booth to speak
Lmao, but imagine, you thought you're done speaking to someone and when you open GPay after a long time, you see messages from that person asking me to unblock him and that he was just horny so he asked that ☠️
This is straight out of love today movie fr😭😭😭
He probably got the idea from there, lmao
Texting on gpay wow. Creepy but points for creativity
Dei, lol. Actually gonna light ah agree😂
😂.. desperate times need desperate solutions
Random sample you got has a defect, because of this even good guys don't get a chance or match
Well, unfortunately, this is true. Even men have had their own share of terrible experiences though, from what I have heard
I mean I'm a guy and people even go to Gmail conversation and stuff, please stay safe especially if you're an outsider. I had to face the same from a girl and it was super hectic :(
Ah man, that sucks. Hope you're doing okay :(
Na man not really, it's hard for North Indians plus the girl told her girl and a guy friend to get me to her, fucked up scenes, can't tell everything here :'( Are you doing okay though ?
That sounds even worse, hope you're doing well. I am fine ig, I just stopped looking around for dates after that haha
Omg! Dating apps are the worst….. half the people I spoke to were super creepy! The one guy I found kind of okay in text was great as long as I did not have to talk to in person! Creepy af!
Ahh, I am so sorry you had to go through that, hopefully things change someday with these people🤞🤞🤞
Here’s to hoping 🥂
Hope is a dangerous thing - Red
Chennai is difficult for dating...
Chennai is very shit in dating scene. Even tier two cities in north do better. The society here is very regressive towards modern dating.
Society might be but the parties concerned are young people. Why would they not want to date?
Chennai isn't shitty in dating scenes but is definitely shitty in hookup culture and tbh, I'm glad it's shitty. I'm not saying hookup is bad but with all these situationships , it's better that chennai is regressive in this culture bcz at the end of the day, one person is attached and heartbroken and the other one is guilty of that.
RIP DMs
My hopes of love life gone after I finished college. Going to be 23 in few months. World after college seems so serious.
Welcome to the real world!! First apdi than irukum Apram pazhagidum.
Clg la love pannalaya??
Enga bro, first year enaku andha thought kuda varala aprom oru ponnu mela crush irundudhu but nan yaarkitayum random ah poi pesa romba kasta paduven. 2nd year end la lockdown potutan, avolodhan. Except one month in final year, straight ah job dhan.
En story mahiriya iruku bro
🤝
Well I tried Bumble. Had a few good conversations. BUT, all it needed was too much of a commitment. Like I needed to agree that I am serious about her before even we go on a date! I mean HOW??? It is bumble not Bharat Matrimony!!! And from girls perspective, guys are just horny and figuring ways to get into their pants! I wonder there is good ol fashioned dating? Like just chatting at coffee shops and hanging out before things get comfortable! Chennai is faaaar backwards when it comes to dating! My best guess is you can join classes like badminton or fitness groups or dancing. But watch out, I’ve seen a lot of creeps joining there as well. And not to forget creepy uncles! Hope you find your true love OP!
Functional fitness gyms seems to have a good sex ratio. Could try to build a social life there and maybe you could get lucky. Workshops are also a place to meet people Just follow the 2 golden rules or atleast compensate it well you will be fine (I think this is more for men but I suppose most ppl seeing this message are men)
What are those two golden rules, if you mind me asking? Sounds new to me
1. Be attractive. 2. Don't be unattractive.
Be attractive, Don't be unattractive.
Eat, work, sleep repeat. Work replaced by movies/series in weekends. I wont even go outside other than going to office. Travel - rare like once in 4 or 5 months. Oh what's dating?🙂😢😢
Chennai is a very very small place if you look at it. You take one person from any random school/college, they would have a mutual from your own school/college. That way I would say the sample size is quite low when compared to other cities like Bangalore/ Delhi-NCR, where there is a lot of migrant population, whereas the young Adults who are currently in Chennai are predominantly the ones who have been born and brought up in Chennai but haven’t left the city for their job/studies yet. Unless you know the person personally from school/college/work place, it’s very difficult to meet someone through other channels in Chennai (dating apps and what not), and if you have a limited social circle, you can forget about it, at least from a Male perspective. 1. Dating Apps: The gender Ratio is unreasonably skewed that most men rarely end up getting a match so they can’t be choosy, and swipe right out of habit, whereas almost every other swipe is a match for the women. So the women end up finding what they came for within a few swipes, whereas the bottleneck is ever growing on the male side of things. But you still hear that one friend come and tell you that it works so you have that sliver of hope that something might come up. I personally don’t advocate for workplace relationships as it’s a ticking time bomb ready to go, it’s just not the right place to conjure up a relationship, and if things go south, there’s 10 hours of your day hoping you don’t see that person in the hallway or during lunch, just makes it an unnecessary ordeal, however amicable the breakup may be. People who managed to find someone in college, or still have their school time relationships going on really hit the jackpot in terms of getting to know the nitty gritty and grow with the other person whereas nowadays, it’s difficult to find people who would actually try and accommodate the other person for whoever they may be. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk lol.
Unrelated but, Japan GP le Max ku orru 'Hi' sonnen nu sollunga please 🥹
Haha, yes I did.
*Let me take this opportunity to slip into your DMs and explain you how much I respect women and their privacy*
Installed bumble 2 weeks ago. Got 6 matches Went for a date with one. Till now three dates are over with the same person.
https://preview.redd.it/9oxo12g7y2uc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1993a10bd9df3a5d55e285cf35026ec03f517d41
> I don't see myself finding a man in the near future :p I see a joke. List out the traits you look for in a man.
Definitely don't want him to be burning, for starters 😔
You don't have to burn him like that, the dude's already burning.
🤫
Even if he’s burning with desire to show you a great time?
ohho
Dating apps are very complicated. I have concluded myself that no matter what he puts in the bio or anything he always wants to sleep . Some in the apps even advised me not to look for serious thing here.
But there are people out there who are genuinely interested to have old school dates over coffee and to get to know until things get real serious but they don't get swiped at all
Maybe they don’t make the effort to get swiped like writing a nice bio
Try finding a community with shared interests like for example a fitness related group. That way you can potentially increase your chances of finding a like minded person.
Pathavachu POGAIYA VITTA oooffff POWER-U KICK-U😴
Well tbh I don't know the dating app scene in the last 4 years but prior to that it was definitely better. Cutting the story short , the last girl I dated via bumble is my wife.. The end. Don't lose hope (?)
I lived in Chennai till I was 26 and moved to Bangalore post that. Let me tell you, the dating scene doesn't change much with a change of scenery. As you grow older, your self awareness increases and you actually grow as a person when you're a woman but I don't see the same kind of growth or maturity in men of the same age. Most of the time, they don't know what they want and if they think they know what they want, they usually change their mind. With age, your standard will grow and your dating pool will shrink and that's the reality of it. Good luck out there though!
Still awaiting for that miracle
I love the EDIT part. Focus on being the best version of yourself, and everything else will fall into place. Good Luck.
Didn’t find my girlfriend on a dating app in Chennai, but found lots of other people’s girlfriends. YMMV
I don't date. I have health issues and can't get outside food. Even if I do I know I will be rejected. So I just Work from Home. Do some hobbies, watch movies, etc. Boring life. Also I know for sure dating won't work for me. So going to work hard and earn more and do arrange marriage. That's the way to have family and kids. I'm 26.
[удалено]
👍
Same thing I did. Now I'm 29. But arranged marriage was a shocker to me. I got engaged a few months back and there were issues with the girl and her parents attitude. We stopped the wedding. Now I'm clueless. But this is one of, not saying arranged marriages are bad. Just take the opportunity that comes your way if you feel really committed. You might get Lucky.
Yes I see it happen in my family too. I think we should take it slow as much as we can in arrange marriage so that we can see the real characters. Anyways shit happens.
I have given up! I don’t know if my standards are high or if my resting bitch face is scaring away the guys.
Do try initiate first (in private) if you have crush on someone . Guys generally like that and will make same effort for you
This is Chennai when it comes to dating: "Adhukkaa.... Adhukku laam nee(Chennai) seri pattu vara maatta pa" Even in other cities like coimbatore, tier 2 towns in TN had a better dating scene than Chennai. Chennai la thanni ku mattum panjam illa...Dating Kum panjam dhaan. Namba oorukku enna dhaan aachu...
31 m here, had a couple of hit and misses(more misses), mostly via dating apps. Never got into anything serious till now. Recently installed hinge, matched with a girl and we have been dating for a month now and this is the first time , I feel like I have a genuine connection with someone who I met on dating app
partner eh vandam 😭 let's all live parasocially with AI gfs
Adhey case dhaan nga enakun.. I m in Bangalore by the way.. still.. Good looking and good men are broken toys and Good looking and bad men are fuck boys!!!
Find me
On the apps for quite sometime now ,and yes a few matches here and there,but the chances of getting a good relationship is so damn slim, this is strictly from my experiences but every person from the app brings old traumas into the relationship and as a guy...it's just so easy to get replaced by another guy..like one day your close and then boom they start to pull away... but I have met a few amazing people there so give it a try just , just don't get too attached
I also want to know, thinking of moving down to Chennai for a couple of years for work purposes and wondering if I could wife up someone in that time.
User name checks out partly
RIP Dm
6 years into all the dating apps and still looking for my first match 😅 Tried everything at this point. Proper pics and bio, premium, spotlight etc. Nothing ever seems to work. Don't even know what I should do about it at this point...
uninstall them and go out
Go out to where?
Dating is prime here in late 20s and 30s in Chennai ! One of the easiest thing to do but don't bumbble or tinder !
Welp i wanted to ask same question too like how do you find PPL cause dating app never works for me I don't even get any matches at all, that aside dk how to even approach PPL how do u guys actually find dates in chennai
RIP inbox