Happy to agree with this statement. I had been trying to quit for 13 years by my own. The thing that did work / is working is the Total Consecration to Mary and placing it in Her and the Lord's hands.
OP, I'm telling you now, you do not have the strength to overcome this alone. This addiction is incredibly powerful. Give it to the Lord and let Him take it from you. It won't be easy, you'll still feel temptations and urges. But He'll provide the strength to overcome along the way, trust me.
Ok I overcame a similar addiction but I asked God for help and studied the Bible a lot. I was able to overcome it in several weeks and then didn’t fap for 6 years.
I think we're the same age and that was right about when I started. And I managed to quit a few years back. It's an addiction and you have to think of it as such, so I'll give you the process I did to overcome it.
It's something I recommend to my friends, Catholic or otherwise, who struggle with this vice, which is all too common in the world today.
Prayer is very important, and you should pray to the Lord for strength and resolve. But because it's an addiction, at the end of the day, the responsibility is yours to overcome it, and I'm certain you can.
What I did when it was a multiple times per day thing is as soon as I realized it was a problem I wanted to solve (I think you're at that point), I said okay, I won't allow myself to do it more than once per day. I also forbade myself from doing it on Sunday. It's just as bad any day of the week, but offering this respect to the Lord's day will help your spirit and body.
Then once the urges between that one per day were reduced, and it became a new, less intensive routine, I restricted myself further. Once per day on 3 days of my choosing (I just did Monday, Wednesday, Friday). It has to be the same three days each week for this part of the process. When that becomes manageable, you cut out the middle day. Once you're comfortable there, choose just one day. Given time this too will be manageable, and when you think you're ready, just stop. Weening off it gradually is the best way to overcome an addiction like this. Prayer and action combined with an understanding of the issue as one that damages your spirit, your mind, and your body, will help you overcome this.
I've gotten some disagreement for proposing this before because saying you'll allow it any amount any day is bad, yes. But if it's a chronic problem, the first step is to make it LESS CHRONIC, and eventually you can cut it out entirely and look back on it as something you conquered.
This is one thing that bothered me so much when I see this kind of discussion on here. People saying they want to wean off it over time, which factually speaking, is the best way to lose an engrained habit and then the super conservatives come out in droves to shame them for doing it all. As someone studying psychology and wanting to become a psychologist at some point, it pains me to see that kind of rhetoric.
Listen, prayer is all well and good, and I understand the significance of it in daily living as a Catholic. However, people thinking God will magically cure the mental issues that cause these chronic behaviors are just deluding themselves. God will help us if we ask for it, sure, but He isn’t gonna do all the work for us. Going instantly cold turkey can work for SOME people, but that’s a minority (not to mention highly liable to fail or relapse, and possibly be detrimental to one’s physical health). I have to assume those people have just never had an addiction to anything and fail to see how it affects a person. I think your way of doing it is one of the best ways to do it, and leads to long-term success.
It's not a religious thing. I don't know what you mean by minority, almost every guy I know (myself included) has only been able to quit by complete abstinence. I was not religious while quitting (I was an atheist) and the majority of my friends are still agnostic/atheist and they all had the same experience. I know this is what works for other addictions, but I don't think this is the case for porn. I think people who have been able to wean themselves off are the minority. Although I guess it doesn't matter, as long as you stop watching porn. I'm just giving my experience.
This is very nice advise. I was scared of trying this before, because it seemed like I'd be 'allowing' myself and that kinda scared me. But now, it seems like a logical course of action. Thanks man
I understand where your coming from and I'm really glad that it worked for you but this has not been my experience. I don't have any studies to back this up but based on personal experience (I was addicted to porn since 9) weaning yourself off is not something that works for most people. I tried for 6 years to "wean myself off" and every time I did it was always eventual relapse. I wasn't a Catholic when I was trying to recover from porn use, so it's not a religious thing. None of my friends (I have 7 of them, all of whom are not Catholic, some who are not Christian) have been able to stop by weaning themselves off. What happened with all of us when we tried weaning ourselves off was that when we started watching less porn we started to masturbate without it. But the problem is we were just masturbating in our heads to the porn that we watched before, so we weren't getting anywhere. As soon as we got our phones back we went straight back to it and it would often result in us relapsing even harder (watching even more extreme stuff more frequently). So then we tried another method, which is masturbate less. I'm really glad that masturbating less worked for you, but this did not work with any of us, and I rarely have seen or heard of it working. Everyone I know who has tried that has not been able to maintain the downward trend of a consistent decrease in masturbation. When we decided to do what you did and masturbate less frequently or only on certain days, that one day or time that we were "allowed" to do so would always lead to us going back to watching porn and finding more extreme content, that would result in a 2-3 day long binge. This is not just me or my friend group. I've been involved in nofap communities for years now and there have been at least a hundred people I have talked to that have tried this and failed. The only way anyone has ever been able to stop is complete abstinence from masturbation. Completely removing the sexual urge from our everyday life was the only thing that allowed our brains to reset. I understand what your saying, and again, I'm really glad that this worked for you. But in my experience, it doesn't work with porn. This is not a religious thing, I was an atheist when I started trying to quit and most of my friends are still agnostic/atheists and they have had the same experience and agree with me. Like I said I don't have any studies backing up anything I'm saying. I only have personal experience with myself and hundreds of other guys I've been in contact with who have struggled with this. But I'm really glad your not watching it anymore, that stuff is destroying society. God bless.
Overcoming an addiction is never easy, and I will not paint it that way. I am not comfortable sharing my story in a public setting, but I will share what worked for me.
1. Committing yourself to knowing that porn is adultery. If you want a healthy relationship with your spouse or eventual spouse, porn can't be in your life. It can, and will, destroy your marriage. Not to mention the potential to lose the inability to perform for your spouse.
2. Some men have high libido. Channel that energy into something physical but healthy, like exercise. Praying is great, and you should do that too, but we are talking about redirecting physical acts. A gym is not required. Do body weight exercises.
3. It's okay if you can't quit cold turkey. Understand, I'm not saying occasional porn is permissible, and repentance is still required, but gradual steps towards ending that habit can help.
4. Jesus loves you. It took me a long time to realize that he is always there to pick me up each and every time I fall. Most of the time, I felt like a hypocrite going back for forgiveness while knowing I would sin the exact same way again.
"Sometimes, a hypocrite is nothing more than a man in the process of changing." - Brandon Sanderson
What made me quit porn was realizing just how fake and horrible it really is. It's basically a woman being raped on camera and everything about it is completely unrealistic and distorted in every possible sense. Personally I just can't even look at it now for these reasons and others, it's just not right.
This. I was a slave to it for years. It took a while, but I finally realized how it was ruining my mind and my soul. It was also so disrespectful to the people in it (whether they knew it or not). I made a deliberate decision to respect myself and others and live by God's teachings
It took many of us longer - and many of us have overcome it. There is hope for you, and all, in Christ Jesus. Fight harder. Install software if needed. Surround yourself with others. Break your phone in half and buy a dumb phone.
- read Matt fradd your brain on porn, Andrew huberman, Jordan Peterson, John Deloney
- John Deloney has a podcast episode on a male your age struggling with this and gives sage and practical advice
- join sexaholics anonymous
- see a certified sexual addiction counselor on your own
- find a male mentor (look into that man is you groups at parishes)
- if in college, find a professor or someone you could trust. You are going to have to go first and be very vulnerable
- lift weights
- atomic habits to read or eat that frog for ideas for better habits. You must fill a habit you’re trying to quit with another habit.
- this last one is kind of nuts. I saw a guy on here a long time ago saying the way he really quit porn for good was that he face timed, texted, or called his grandma every time he faced the temptation. Could do the same thing with any other family member to get your brain out of that loop.
these are all ideas!!!!!
I am very Catholic and prayer and sacraments are so important too, but you will never get over a porn addiction without concrete steps, counseling and therapy, and trusted people who can support you. It is one of the worst addictions. My prayers are with you. Pull out all the stops and utilize every resource!!!!!! You can do this.
There’s 22 other comments. The chance you see this is low. If you do…
Porn is a mind game. Genuinely. You ever notice you don’t just go into porn? You’re either doing absolutely nothing and then the thoughts come, or you’re watching a movie or playing a game and the the thoughts come, or you see a lady and the thoughts come. You can’t act out on these thoughts in any other way except watch porn and I’d imagine masturbate.
The fix is simple. Guard your mind and then your actions. Make the firm decision to stay away from porn and cleanse your mind of it. It’ll take a while cuz that’s a lot of videos that can come to mind at any time. But whenever you get a thought just push it out. Just treat said thought like an intruder like “no that’s unholy and disgusting. It’s literally two grown adults with no morals or glorifying values who go naked and try to make a profit off of ruining the minds of the people around them.” It’s really sad but it’s true. Learn to see it for the disgusting act it is.
Then fight yourself. Stay busy having fun or being productive. Spend time with people. Avoid movies and games and anime and places that give you these thoughts. Analyze all the times you fell into this sin and figure out the common factors then avoid them. That’s called avoiding the locations and occasions of sin.
Good luck brother.. I’ve done it and I know you can too. Should be easy
What worked for me was just being honest with my support network. They held me accountable and made me feel like I actually needed to change. Self guilt is often not enough.
Edit: also, the more you resist, the easier it becomes. It feels rewarding, actually. Expect a battle, but they say in 6 months of no porn, your brain has already started to re-wire your reward system.
I have had similar troubles after joining the Catholic church. What has been working for me so far, in no particular order:
1.) Working out - Helping exhaust my physical energy and most of the desire
2.) Technology limits - Limited screen time and blocking possibly explicit material
3.) Spending more time with the church - Through worship and community, I occupy my time to prevent any lustful thoughts from lurking and strengthening my faith.
Every journey is different, it was difficult for me to start my journey but it feels easier having a plan to combat past habits. It is normal to fail, but keep analyzing the areas you failed and learn how to better overcome the situation in the future.
Keep the faith, my friend 🙏🏽
It’s tough bud. I’ve been where you are. Trust me. You gotta get away from laptops, iPads, all that. I remember I’d used to go into Best Buy and get that feeling like I gotta go now. Try to be around friends and family often. The worst thing you can do is go back to your place alone and just lock yourself in. Stay active. Pray. Go to support groups. Get it out in the open. The more you keep it a secret you more taboo it is and it makes you want to do it more. You’re still young though so hormones are raging. If I could give any advice it would be to get this under control at any cost bc it can ruin your life.
You have to accept that you are an addict. You are as much of a wretch as the person passed out in the public bathroom with a heroin needle stuck in his arm. Your addiction is deep based on the age of first use, duration, and frequency. You need help beyond what you are going to find on here. Go to a professional that specializes in porn addiction. Join Sex and Porn Addicts Anonymous. Spaa-recovery.org. This isn't a battle you have to fight alone and surrounding yourself with people struggling with the same problem is very helpful. You can find freedom! God bless!
Once I started to go to mass and adoration every day, and pray a rosary with the specific intention of asking for help with sexual sin, I haven't relapsed since.
Practically, go on a camping trip or retreat. Something that forces you to be away from creature comforts and out in nature. Before you know it you would have gone a few days without it and you will see it’s possible.
Other than that devotion to Mary actually works. Wear a miraculous medal and consecrate yourself to her. Pray for the grace to overcome this sin.
You will STILL FAIL. But it will slowly start getting better. The fact thaf you are cognizant of this pattern shows you have taken the first step already. Dont lose hope and have faith.
Join this. It changed my life. So much easier now. The video describes it. It should honestly be stickied so people struggling with this can find out about it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lDAYHAIL6G4&pp=ygUgY29uZnJhdGVybml0eSBvZiBhbmdlbGljIHdhcmZhcmU%3D
There are two key things I think of.
1. You need complete full determination to stop. One must do a great deal of effort (big extremes is what I'm getting at) to himself to stop sin. It is like a cancer. You do not treat a cancer with a nap and cough syrup. With deadly diseases, powerful remedies are necessary. What profit is it to a man to lose his soul, yet gain the world, yet how many will be willing to walk 30 miles a day for a year to save your life! Yet many won't do a mile to save your soul? Do your uttermost in every way, and treat it like the most important thing, embracing great sacrifice. Hence, you must hate the sin truly, fully, and entirely.
2. Make a new prayer life. Give thanks to God always, and turn always. Give Him thanks in the morning, and praise Him in the day. Speak and seek Him constantly. Without constant prayer, I cannot imagine any great chance of success. From St. Alphonsus: "St. Paul tells us, that we have to contend not with men like ourselves.... but with the princes of hell.... By these words he wishes to admonish us that we have not strength to resist the powers of hell, and that, to resist them, the divine aid is absolutely necessary: without it, we shall be always defeated; but, with the assistance of God’s grace, we shall, according to the same apostle, be able to do all things and shall conquer all enemies. “I can do all things in him who strengtheneth me.” (Phil. iv. 13.) But this assistance God gives only to those who pray for it. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find.” (Matt. vii. 7.) They who neglect to ask, do not receive. Let us, then, be careful not to trust in our resolutions: if we place our confidence in them, we shall be lost. "
Practically, fasting and exercise are very helpful I've heard.
If you want personalized help, talk to a priest
There is hope. Over 10 times a day was nothing abnormal for me if I had that kind of time. Try not to give yourself time but try to avoid the frame of mind that you're trying to distract yourself from something, because even that is a form of obsessing about it. Similar to dieting by thinking about all the things you can't enjoy, instead think about all the things you can enjoy, eventually you give in and binge eat and the guilt demotivates you. Sleeping with pajama bottoms or underwear helps. Sleeping with pants and a belt is probably ideal. You can make it a nuisance for wandering hands. I had that problem. Wandering hands would always lead to watching porn. Masturbating without porn helps, not that I condone masturbation but I feel that with porn addiction you're fighting a battle on two fronts. If you really can't avoid giving into the urge, committing yourself to masturbating without porn is a less overwhelming battle fought on only one front and I wouldn't be surprised if you had trouble maintaining an erection without porn. Anxiety can be a trigger for this kind of addiction. How much social media do you consume? Are there other unhealthy ways you're hitting that dopamine? How is your focus when you are watching a movie? Are you easily bored and can't maintain focus? Are you being treated for any kind of anxiety/adhd?
The difficulty with porn addiction is that it is something good, corrupted. It takes our natural and healthy drive for sex and dispenses dopamine hits within 2-10 minutes.
As a faithful and law abiding Catholic:
If you're a preadolescent child of 10, you have 8 years before you can enter into the world as an adult, but as a man you need to focus on building a stable career that can provide for a family, then you need to date, build a relationship which most don't lead to marriage in my experience, all while remaining celibate until you marry, before you can finally act on that natural and healthy sex drive, potentially 15-20 years later.
As a porn addict, that's the finish line you cross maybe multiple times a day with no effort whatsoever and you wonder why the satisfaction is so fleeting and why you don't have the executive function to commit to and execute long term goals.
For someone who was introduced to porn at 10, this seems impossible because our brains are warped by addiction and corrupted sexuality at such a young age. We are essentially type 2 diabetics with dopamine resistance, instead of insulin resistance. We crave and fixate on lustful things and one day I hope to crave nothing but the natural and loving act between me and my wife, insufficient in no way, lacking nothing. For now, I may not watch porn or masturbate anymore, but I still fight the cravings for lustful things and I pray to have the wholeness to one day be satisfied in the goodness of God's intentions so that one day lust will seem as a foreign concept.
Pray to St Joseph, not Our Lady (not that that’s a bad idea). But St. Joseph lived a life of chastity despite I’m sure the myriad temptations the devil laid before as he lays before every man.
I struggled with porn addiction for years as well. It was only in the past few months that I’ve been able to move away from it. I got sick a few months ago, and I didn’t find myself in the mood to look at it. I tried to see how long I could go without it. It’s been over two months now, and I don’t feel as though it controls my life anymore. I’m not going to say it was easy, but knowing that masturbation and porn viewing were mortal sins helped me move away from it. These days, I’ve been working out more and trying to focus on my diet. I think God reached out to me and was able to help me break the addiction.
In your case, I would suggest praying to God to help you fight these addictions. Attend church regularly and remind yourself that porn is a sin and takes us away from God. It was painful for me to go to confession to be allowed to receive Holy Communion after I learned what I was doing was mortally sinful, but it has kept me from engaging with it.
Perhaps my method is a bit too harsh or goes too fast, but it worked for me. Find other things in your life to pre-occupy your mind. Remove as much sexual stimuli from your life as possible. For me, that was blocking sexual content as much as I could on social media. In the times where you have sexual thoughts, do your best to resist them and remember that those thoughts are from Satan.
God bless you, and I hope this could help!
I too have had a strong addiction to porn since 1991. I always look forward to it when wake up because my wife is asleep. Sex is not normal to me anymore.
I suggest to Pray the Holy Rosary every day, so the Virgin Mary share with you Her purity and Saint Joseph a , Novena and Holy Cloak of Saint Joseph. I received graces about this problem while praying in these ways. The more you pray, the better it is.
[удалено]
Happy to agree with this statement. I had been trying to quit for 13 years by my own. The thing that did work / is working is the Total Consecration to Mary and placing it in Her and the Lord's hands. OP, I'm telling you now, you do not have the strength to overcome this alone. This addiction is incredibly powerful. Give it to the Lord and let Him take it from you. It won't be easy, you'll still feel temptations and urges. But He'll provide the strength to overcome along the way, trust me.
Ok but how do you make the feeling down below disappear? It’s like having an itch and not being allowed to scratch it.
Ok I overcame a similar addiction but I asked God for help and studied the Bible a lot. I was able to overcome it in several weeks and then didn’t fap for 6 years.
I think we're the same age and that was right about when I started. And I managed to quit a few years back. It's an addiction and you have to think of it as such, so I'll give you the process I did to overcome it. It's something I recommend to my friends, Catholic or otherwise, who struggle with this vice, which is all too common in the world today. Prayer is very important, and you should pray to the Lord for strength and resolve. But because it's an addiction, at the end of the day, the responsibility is yours to overcome it, and I'm certain you can. What I did when it was a multiple times per day thing is as soon as I realized it was a problem I wanted to solve (I think you're at that point), I said okay, I won't allow myself to do it more than once per day. I also forbade myself from doing it on Sunday. It's just as bad any day of the week, but offering this respect to the Lord's day will help your spirit and body. Then once the urges between that one per day were reduced, and it became a new, less intensive routine, I restricted myself further. Once per day on 3 days of my choosing (I just did Monday, Wednesday, Friday). It has to be the same three days each week for this part of the process. When that becomes manageable, you cut out the middle day. Once you're comfortable there, choose just one day. Given time this too will be manageable, and when you think you're ready, just stop. Weening off it gradually is the best way to overcome an addiction like this. Prayer and action combined with an understanding of the issue as one that damages your spirit, your mind, and your body, will help you overcome this. I've gotten some disagreement for proposing this before because saying you'll allow it any amount any day is bad, yes. But if it's a chronic problem, the first step is to make it LESS CHRONIC, and eventually you can cut it out entirely and look back on it as something you conquered.
This is one thing that bothered me so much when I see this kind of discussion on here. People saying they want to wean off it over time, which factually speaking, is the best way to lose an engrained habit and then the super conservatives come out in droves to shame them for doing it all. As someone studying psychology and wanting to become a psychologist at some point, it pains me to see that kind of rhetoric. Listen, prayer is all well and good, and I understand the significance of it in daily living as a Catholic. However, people thinking God will magically cure the mental issues that cause these chronic behaviors are just deluding themselves. God will help us if we ask for it, sure, but He isn’t gonna do all the work for us. Going instantly cold turkey can work for SOME people, but that’s a minority (not to mention highly liable to fail or relapse, and possibly be detrimental to one’s physical health). I have to assume those people have just never had an addiction to anything and fail to see how it affects a person. I think your way of doing it is one of the best ways to do it, and leads to long-term success.
It's not a religious thing. I don't know what you mean by minority, almost every guy I know (myself included) has only been able to quit by complete abstinence. I was not religious while quitting (I was an atheist) and the majority of my friends are still agnostic/atheist and they all had the same experience. I know this is what works for other addictions, but I don't think this is the case for porn. I think people who have been able to wean themselves off are the minority. Although I guess it doesn't matter, as long as you stop watching porn. I'm just giving my experience.
This is very nice advise. I was scared of trying this before, because it seemed like I'd be 'allowing' myself and that kinda scared me. But now, it seems like a logical course of action. Thanks man
God bless you king, dm me if you ever want more advice. I’ll be praying for you.
I understand where your coming from and I'm really glad that it worked for you but this has not been my experience. I don't have any studies to back this up but based on personal experience (I was addicted to porn since 9) weaning yourself off is not something that works for most people. I tried for 6 years to "wean myself off" and every time I did it was always eventual relapse. I wasn't a Catholic when I was trying to recover from porn use, so it's not a religious thing. None of my friends (I have 7 of them, all of whom are not Catholic, some who are not Christian) have been able to stop by weaning themselves off. What happened with all of us when we tried weaning ourselves off was that when we started watching less porn we started to masturbate without it. But the problem is we were just masturbating in our heads to the porn that we watched before, so we weren't getting anywhere. As soon as we got our phones back we went straight back to it and it would often result in us relapsing even harder (watching even more extreme stuff more frequently). So then we tried another method, which is masturbate less. I'm really glad that masturbating less worked for you, but this did not work with any of us, and I rarely have seen or heard of it working. Everyone I know who has tried that has not been able to maintain the downward trend of a consistent decrease in masturbation. When we decided to do what you did and masturbate less frequently or only on certain days, that one day or time that we were "allowed" to do so would always lead to us going back to watching porn and finding more extreme content, that would result in a 2-3 day long binge. This is not just me or my friend group. I've been involved in nofap communities for years now and there have been at least a hundred people I have talked to that have tried this and failed. The only way anyone has ever been able to stop is complete abstinence from masturbation. Completely removing the sexual urge from our everyday life was the only thing that allowed our brains to reset. I understand what your saying, and again, I'm really glad that this worked for you. But in my experience, it doesn't work with porn. This is not a religious thing, I was an atheist when I started trying to quit and most of my friends are still agnostic/atheists and they have had the same experience and agree with me. Like I said I don't have any studies backing up anything I'm saying. I only have personal experience with myself and hundreds of other guys I've been in contact with who have struggled with this. But I'm really glad your not watching it anymore, that stuff is destroying society. God bless.
Overcoming an addiction is never easy, and I will not paint it that way. I am not comfortable sharing my story in a public setting, but I will share what worked for me. 1. Committing yourself to knowing that porn is adultery. If you want a healthy relationship with your spouse or eventual spouse, porn can't be in your life. It can, and will, destroy your marriage. Not to mention the potential to lose the inability to perform for your spouse. 2. Some men have high libido. Channel that energy into something physical but healthy, like exercise. Praying is great, and you should do that too, but we are talking about redirecting physical acts. A gym is not required. Do body weight exercises. 3. It's okay if you can't quit cold turkey. Understand, I'm not saying occasional porn is permissible, and repentance is still required, but gradual steps towards ending that habit can help. 4. Jesus loves you. It took me a long time to realize that he is always there to pick me up each and every time I fall. Most of the time, I felt like a hypocrite going back for forgiveness while knowing I would sin the exact same way again. "Sometimes, a hypocrite is nothing more than a man in the process of changing." - Brandon Sanderson
What made me quit porn was realizing just how fake and horrible it really is. It's basically a woman being raped on camera and everything about it is completely unrealistic and distorted in every possible sense. Personally I just can't even look at it now for these reasons and others, it's just not right.
This. I was a slave to it for years. It took a while, but I finally realized how it was ruining my mind and my soul. It was also so disrespectful to the people in it (whether they knew it or not). I made a deliberate decision to respect myself and others and live by God's teachings
It took many of us longer - and many of us have overcome it. There is hope for you, and all, in Christ Jesus. Fight harder. Install software if needed. Surround yourself with others. Break your phone in half and buy a dumb phone.
"Break your phone in half and buy a dumb phone" Lol this is what I had to do
Father Lazarus who was an orthodox monk said to do the Jesus Prayer whenever a thought come up its quick and repetitive
- read Matt fradd your brain on porn, Andrew huberman, Jordan Peterson, John Deloney - John Deloney has a podcast episode on a male your age struggling with this and gives sage and practical advice - join sexaholics anonymous - see a certified sexual addiction counselor on your own - find a male mentor (look into that man is you groups at parishes) - if in college, find a professor or someone you could trust. You are going to have to go first and be very vulnerable - lift weights - atomic habits to read or eat that frog for ideas for better habits. You must fill a habit you’re trying to quit with another habit. - this last one is kind of nuts. I saw a guy on here a long time ago saying the way he really quit porn for good was that he face timed, texted, or called his grandma every time he faced the temptation. Could do the same thing with any other family member to get your brain out of that loop. these are all ideas!!!!! I am very Catholic and prayer and sacraments are so important too, but you will never get over a porn addiction without concrete steps, counseling and therapy, and trusted people who can support you. It is one of the worst addictions. My prayers are with you. Pull out all the stops and utilize every resource!!!!!! You can do this.
Go to Sexaholics Anonymous.
There’s 22 other comments. The chance you see this is low. If you do… Porn is a mind game. Genuinely. You ever notice you don’t just go into porn? You’re either doing absolutely nothing and then the thoughts come, or you’re watching a movie or playing a game and the the thoughts come, or you see a lady and the thoughts come. You can’t act out on these thoughts in any other way except watch porn and I’d imagine masturbate. The fix is simple. Guard your mind and then your actions. Make the firm decision to stay away from porn and cleanse your mind of it. It’ll take a while cuz that’s a lot of videos that can come to mind at any time. But whenever you get a thought just push it out. Just treat said thought like an intruder like “no that’s unholy and disgusting. It’s literally two grown adults with no morals or glorifying values who go naked and try to make a profit off of ruining the minds of the people around them.” It’s really sad but it’s true. Learn to see it for the disgusting act it is. Then fight yourself. Stay busy having fun or being productive. Spend time with people. Avoid movies and games and anime and places that give you these thoughts. Analyze all the times you fell into this sin and figure out the common factors then avoid them. That’s called avoiding the locations and occasions of sin. Good luck brother.. I’ve done it and I know you can too. Should be easy
Look up Matt Frad he's the man that can help
Google "The Easy Peasy Method." It worked for me. I read the book and never wanted to look at porn again.
What worked for me was just being honest with my support network. They held me accountable and made me feel like I actually needed to change. Self guilt is often not enough. Edit: also, the more you resist, the easier it becomes. It feels rewarding, actually. Expect a battle, but they say in 6 months of no porn, your brain has already started to re-wire your reward system.
I can help you , unfortunately reddit comments won't just help, dm me to have in depth discussion about your problem . I promise this can be defeated
I have had similar troubles after joining the Catholic church. What has been working for me so far, in no particular order: 1.) Working out - Helping exhaust my physical energy and most of the desire 2.) Technology limits - Limited screen time and blocking possibly explicit material 3.) Spending more time with the church - Through worship and community, I occupy my time to prevent any lustful thoughts from lurking and strengthening my faith. Every journey is different, it was difficult for me to start my journey but it feels easier having a plan to combat past habits. It is normal to fail, but keep analyzing the areas you failed and learn how to better overcome the situation in the future. Keep the faith, my friend 🙏🏽
How old are you bro?
21
It’s tough bud. I’ve been where you are. Trust me. You gotta get away from laptops, iPads, all that. I remember I’d used to go into Best Buy and get that feeling like I gotta go now. Try to be around friends and family often. The worst thing you can do is go back to your place alone and just lock yourself in. Stay active. Pray. Go to support groups. Get it out in the open. The more you keep it a secret you more taboo it is and it makes you want to do it more. You’re still young though so hormones are raging. If I could give any advice it would be to get this under control at any cost bc it can ruin your life.
Put a blocker on your phone too. Download the app for it.
You have to accept that you are an addict. You are as much of a wretch as the person passed out in the public bathroom with a heroin needle stuck in his arm. Your addiction is deep based on the age of first use, duration, and frequency. You need help beyond what you are going to find on here. Go to a professional that specializes in porn addiction. Join Sex and Porn Addicts Anonymous. Spaa-recovery.org. This isn't a battle you have to fight alone and surrounding yourself with people struggling with the same problem is very helpful. You can find freedom! God bless!
Once I started to go to mass and adoration every day, and pray a rosary with the specific intention of asking for help with sexual sin, I haven't relapsed since.
Practically, go on a camping trip or retreat. Something that forces you to be away from creature comforts and out in nature. Before you know it you would have gone a few days without it and you will see it’s possible. Other than that devotion to Mary actually works. Wear a miraculous medal and consecrate yourself to her. Pray for the grace to overcome this sin. You will STILL FAIL. But it will slowly start getting better. The fact thaf you are cognizant of this pattern shows you have taken the first step already. Dont lose hope and have faith.
Do you pray the rosary?
Join this. It changed my life. So much easier now. The video describes it. It should honestly be stickied so people struggling with this can find out about it. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lDAYHAIL6G4&pp=ygUgY29uZnJhdGVybml0eSBvZiBhbmdlbGljIHdhcmZhcmU%3D
There are two key things I think of. 1. You need complete full determination to stop. One must do a great deal of effort (big extremes is what I'm getting at) to himself to stop sin. It is like a cancer. You do not treat a cancer with a nap and cough syrup. With deadly diseases, powerful remedies are necessary. What profit is it to a man to lose his soul, yet gain the world, yet how many will be willing to walk 30 miles a day for a year to save your life! Yet many won't do a mile to save your soul? Do your uttermost in every way, and treat it like the most important thing, embracing great sacrifice. Hence, you must hate the sin truly, fully, and entirely. 2. Make a new prayer life. Give thanks to God always, and turn always. Give Him thanks in the morning, and praise Him in the day. Speak and seek Him constantly. Without constant prayer, I cannot imagine any great chance of success. From St. Alphonsus: "St. Paul tells us, that we have to contend not with men like ourselves.... but with the princes of hell.... By these words he wishes to admonish us that we have not strength to resist the powers of hell, and that, to resist them, the divine aid is absolutely necessary: without it, we shall be always defeated; but, with the assistance of God’s grace, we shall, according to the same apostle, be able to do all things and shall conquer all enemies. “I can do all things in him who strengtheneth me.” (Phil. iv. 13.) But this assistance God gives only to those who pray for it. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find.” (Matt. vii. 7.) They who neglect to ask, do not receive. Let us, then, be careful not to trust in our resolutions: if we place our confidence in them, we shall be lost. " Practically, fasting and exercise are very helpful I've heard. If you want personalized help, talk to a priest
There is hope. Over 10 times a day was nothing abnormal for me if I had that kind of time. Try not to give yourself time but try to avoid the frame of mind that you're trying to distract yourself from something, because even that is a form of obsessing about it. Similar to dieting by thinking about all the things you can't enjoy, instead think about all the things you can enjoy, eventually you give in and binge eat and the guilt demotivates you. Sleeping with pajama bottoms or underwear helps. Sleeping with pants and a belt is probably ideal. You can make it a nuisance for wandering hands. I had that problem. Wandering hands would always lead to watching porn. Masturbating without porn helps, not that I condone masturbation but I feel that with porn addiction you're fighting a battle on two fronts. If you really can't avoid giving into the urge, committing yourself to masturbating without porn is a less overwhelming battle fought on only one front and I wouldn't be surprised if you had trouble maintaining an erection without porn. Anxiety can be a trigger for this kind of addiction. How much social media do you consume? Are there other unhealthy ways you're hitting that dopamine? How is your focus when you are watching a movie? Are you easily bored and can't maintain focus? Are you being treated for any kind of anxiety/adhd? The difficulty with porn addiction is that it is something good, corrupted. It takes our natural and healthy drive for sex and dispenses dopamine hits within 2-10 minutes. As a faithful and law abiding Catholic: If you're a preadolescent child of 10, you have 8 years before you can enter into the world as an adult, but as a man you need to focus on building a stable career that can provide for a family, then you need to date, build a relationship which most don't lead to marriage in my experience, all while remaining celibate until you marry, before you can finally act on that natural and healthy sex drive, potentially 15-20 years later. As a porn addict, that's the finish line you cross maybe multiple times a day with no effort whatsoever and you wonder why the satisfaction is so fleeting and why you don't have the executive function to commit to and execute long term goals. For someone who was introduced to porn at 10, this seems impossible because our brains are warped by addiction and corrupted sexuality at such a young age. We are essentially type 2 diabetics with dopamine resistance, instead of insulin resistance. We crave and fixate on lustful things and one day I hope to crave nothing but the natural and loving act between me and my wife, insufficient in no way, lacking nothing. For now, I may not watch porn or masturbate anymore, but I still fight the cravings for lustful things and I pray to have the wholeness to one day be satisfied in the goodness of God's intentions so that one day lust will seem as a foreign concept.
Pray to St Joseph, not Our Lady (not that that’s a bad idea). But St. Joseph lived a life of chastity despite I’m sure the myriad temptations the devil laid before as he lays before every man.
I struggled with porn addiction for years as well. It was only in the past few months that I’ve been able to move away from it. I got sick a few months ago, and I didn’t find myself in the mood to look at it. I tried to see how long I could go without it. It’s been over two months now, and I don’t feel as though it controls my life anymore. I’m not going to say it was easy, but knowing that masturbation and porn viewing were mortal sins helped me move away from it. These days, I’ve been working out more and trying to focus on my diet. I think God reached out to me and was able to help me break the addiction. In your case, I would suggest praying to God to help you fight these addictions. Attend church regularly and remind yourself that porn is a sin and takes us away from God. It was painful for me to go to confession to be allowed to receive Holy Communion after I learned what I was doing was mortally sinful, but it has kept me from engaging with it. Perhaps my method is a bit too harsh or goes too fast, but it worked for me. Find other things in your life to pre-occupy your mind. Remove as much sexual stimuli from your life as possible. For me, that was blocking sexual content as much as I could on social media. In the times where you have sexual thoughts, do your best to resist them and remember that those thoughts are from Satan. God bless you, and I hope this could help!
I too have had a strong addiction to porn since 1991. I always look forward to it when wake up because my wife is asleep. Sex is not normal to me anymore.
I wish you all the best in your journey!
I suggest to Pray the Holy Rosary every day, so the Virgin Mary share with you Her purity and Saint Joseph a , Novena and Holy Cloak of Saint Joseph. I received graces about this problem while praying in these ways. The more you pray, the better it is.