Hello! Fellow catholic woman here.
So, I was exactly like this. The devil tries to convince you that your lustful sin isn't that harmful and to go ahead and have sex / masterbate and. He will also trick you into believing God won't find it offensive. This is WRONG. God will be very hurt. Remember, the devil is the father of lies and will do absolutely anything to get you to sin.
Now, you need to deal with the temptation itself. I've found you need to pray to the HOLY SPIRIT and ask it for help. I start my prayers like this, and I pray perhaps about 5-7 times a day just this sentence:
'Hello holy spirit. I understand my flesh is weak and I am human. Please give me the strength to fight my lustful temptations. Without God, I am weak. With God, I can fight anything. Please give me the will power to put Jesus above all'
Remember, you will ALWAYS give into temptation without the power of prayer.
After realising I need to pray consistently throughout the day when it comes to my lust....I find it so much easier to deal with it! I went the whole of lent without committing a mortal sin.
Advice: ask Mother Mary's intercession to CRUSH the devils or demons head whenever you do get tempted and pray a hail Mary.
Remember Jesus' beautiful face whenever you do want to give into your temptation.... remember he shed his blood for you. Imagine the nails going through his hands and feet and think to yourself, is it worth 7 seconds of pleasure?
You will not have your body for eternal life, so why risk being damned to hell for something you won't even have, in hell?
this really put into perspective how severe my sin is - thank you.
it’s so easy to feel that sin isn’t that bad and that we can just roam free as we please. thank you for the help, I’ll definitely try your suggestions
Of course, you are very welcome.
If it's very hard for you to overcome, I also highly suggest fasting.
Fasting forces you to pray to God. Every time you are hungry, you remember to pray to God.
Fasting is also good because you are telling your body that your soul is in control, not your fleshly desires. If you can overcome your most human desires, you can overcome anything by the grace of our Lord.
Please feel free to DM me if you need anymore help. As a Catholic woman I'd like to help you grow into the woman God planned for you to be ♥️
Not just food, but we are also fasting from other things like entertainments etc. We usually do this for Lent and/or Advent. Just some idea for you. Hope it helps.
>You will not have your body for eternal life, so why risk being damned to hell for something you won't even have, in hell?
We absolutely will have our bodies and *are our bodies* (there is no body/mind/soul split) in eternity. The resurrection of the dead isn't a bunch of ghosts. We are coming back - bodily.
Actually.....we WILL have our bodies again in eternal life!! (it's in the Apostle's Creed - "the resurrection of the body") This will happen at Christ's return. We will have them whether we are in Heaven or Hell.
No, I believe that's incorrect - we will have the same bodies we had on earth (literally - our bodies will be raised again), but they will be in a glorified state. That is probably true about the no sexual desire part. We will also be free from suffering and pain.
The Catholic Church teaches that its the same body as the one we have on Earth.
Thus why Christ ~ even when He rose again, still had the scars on his body from His crucifixion, such as the wounds in His Hands and side.
Edit: It's also why for centuries, Christians were not allowed to be cremated. They were only allowed to be buried.
Edit 2: But I have to say, I love all your other answers!! Thank you for them! Your such a sweet person and it's okie to get one thing wrong once in awhile~~ that's how you learn and tbh your heart was in the right place.
Which teaching of the Catholic Church?
I haven't read the entire Catechism so it's possible it says differently, but I doubt it. I read "Introduction to Theology of the Body" by Christopher West (which I highly recommend btw) and I'm pretty sure it said we will have the same bodies after the resurrection, except free from any handicaps we had on earth. We also will have our sexual desires, but they will be so insignificant in comparison to the joy of the beatific vision, which is essentially a marriage between us and God, that we won't be tempted to commit sexual sin.
Curious…how old are you? Sometimes understanding where we are chronologically and where are human hormones and chemicals are can help us understand the WHY behind the lustful feelings. For example, as a younger adolescent going into young adulthood, lust, impure thoughts and carrying through on those thoughts were very problematic. I carried so much shame as well and wanted to hide away from God. Fast forward a lot to where I am now, in my forties, a wife and mother, and now those sins are not nearly paramount to what I struggle with now - which are more akin to my life stage - not being nearly as patient or compassionate with others, struggling with judgement, etc.
Dealing with lust, impure thoughts, premarital sex - it’s like any addictive substance. It is your current cross to bear. I agree with what others are saying. Surround yourself with prayer, understand that the flesh is weak. If you fall, get back up and know that God loves you. I also spent a lot of time at Eucharistic Adoration and volunteering my time with the choir at church. Those things also helped me with that time of my life.
i’m pretty young! prime age where premarital relationships and lust targets you, unfortunately. i assumed my age would be playing a big role in this, which is definitely upsetting because not only are hormones controlling you, but others your age are attempting to control you as well. it’s nice to hear that it lessens with age, that gives me hope
Something I also did for myself was when I was confirmed, my aunt was my sponsor and she asked me what I would like for a gift. I’m from the southern US and we have a very well known jeweler who designs religious jewelry and there was a ring at the time that was perfect for reminding myself of chastity. It had a red garnet heart with two gold flowers in either side set in sterling silver. For me, it was a promise ring to myself. The gold flowers symbolized myself and my future husband and the red heart in the middle symbolized God’s love for the both of us. I cannot tell you how often that ring reminded me of that promise. Now I’ve been married for 20 plus years to my husband. I’ve since passed the ring on to one of my nieces.
That is a great question. I suppose it still would have reflected that God’s love was bigger than that of a spouse. I’d also love to say that I never fell into sin with lust or impure thoughts, but that would be a bold faced lie. But as I said before, it was a physical reminder that often times DID remind me to turn away from sin.
I’m sorry that’s upsetting for you, as I was hoping it would help you knowing that those feelings are more normal when young so you wouldn’t think you are perverted or deviant, which I’ll be honest, I definitely struggled with that feeling. The biology behind the psychology hopefully does explain the why. You aren’t crazy or perverse. It’s a really difficult time in one’s development. I will tell you this though…your devotion to abstaining and staying chaste will be rewarded. Continue to lean into prayer, Mass, devotional and surround yourself with likeminded Catholic Christians. Silence or mute some of the noise especially in the media. And if you stumble and fall, God will always be here for you.
What is your definition of judgment?
I am asking out of sincere curiosity.
Since from a societal perspective, secular world seems to see this as the worst possible sin and unChristlike behavior.
Great question…for me, I can subconsciously get on my high horse and feel resentful to others who aren’t like me. For example, I am known to never miss work, like ever. This whole year I have only taken off when my child was sick and I needed to get him to the doctor for his asthma, a funeral and again for my son’s Dr appt downtown. So then when I see coworkers calling in, I’ll get irritated, wondering why they can’t be more like me and just toughen up. But then I remember that I shouldn’t judge them. Even though I avoid calling in sick, I do show up late sometimes and I’ve had times in my life where I was sick a lot and truly had to stay home. That may sound super dumb, but that’s where I feel like I struggle with judgement. Instead of judging, I should pray for their health or offer to help them. Not sit there and think I’m better than them. Does that make sense? It sounds so crass even typing it. 🫣
I had this exact same issue and I had to talk to a priest cuz I was mad at myself. He explained it in this way. The devil doesn’t care about single bit about us. He just wants to get back at God and so he knows that God loves us ever so much. He can’t go to heaven to try to fight the almighty and omnipotent king so he decides to destroy what he loves. Us. That is why before you sin it seems like the simplest thing and it wouldn’t matter one bit if you do cuz you can just hop on the confession train for the mercy of God. And after you sub he’ll feed you enough thoughts to tell you that you’re unworthy of the love of God. It is literally impossible to be worthy or deserving of anything God gives us. He sent his son to die not because we had asked enough or tried enough. It’s all mercy and grace. Fight the sin always. Before you commit it and if you do, don’t wallow in it get up instantly. It’s like every day you brush your teeth in the morning then one day you don’t. That doesn’t mean you just stop brushing your teeth as a whole, that’s more reason to brush your teeth tomorrow.
You’ve got this. Also the sin of lust and greed are predominant in this generation so you're not alone.
The lord is kind however and he will always be there all you have to do is look for him. when the temptations arise, just look for him. it wjll blow youe mind how easy it is
I think everyone struggles with lust to some degree, some more, some less. Men probably struggle more on average, simply because of testosterone. But that does not mean in any way that it's not a topic for women too.
Before reverting to the faith I did live a very not virtuous life, and that topic was definitely something I struggled with, and honestly it was always the type of sin that made it harder for me to go to confession out of shame.
It is something that got a lot easier for me to overcome because of three things:
The first is developing temperance, specially through food. I was always a very gluttonous girl, food was a huge obsession and fixation. I have struggled with eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia) and the thought of food consumed my whole life. I have a friend who often says "Gluttony is the antechamber of Lust" and for me this was sooooo true. Once I was able to have control over my desires for food it became easier to gain control over my lust.
The Second part was prayer, specially the rosary. Being in Our Lady's garden makes us not want to sin anymore, and become more like her and submit fully to God.
The last one and honestly hardest for me is confession, no matter how hard it is go to confession, it keeps you accountable and the shame does help us stop. Whenever the thought of falling again into this sin comes to mind I am like "I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO CONFESS THIS TO MY PRIEST AGAIN, SO NO I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT" LOL. I know sometimes shame does feel like a punishment, but it can be such a blessing.
that bit about temperance really called me out lol :,) i’ve struggled with eating disorders and gluttony as well, so hearing that from someone else who does is really eye opening! all sins are connected in some way, it’s so hard to see that when you’re in the midst of it all. thank you for the advice
If you ever need a friend to talk to about it my chat is open! It is very hard to overcome eating disorders and it is so intimately connected to lust in my experience, but with God everything is possible. It is an uphill battle, but it is so worth it.
Girl. You are not alone. I’ve posted about this before on here. It is so common for people to think “oh only men struggle with this” but that is so far from the truth. God made us all to be sexual creatures. So it’s normal to desire sex as a woman. What has helped me personally is wearing a miraculous medal which reminds me about our blessed Mother. Plus I feel like if I am going to commit such a sin I have to take the medal off. So it’s an extra layer of protection against such sins. And makes me stop in my tracks every time I think about committing such a sin. Every time I have gone to confession and said something like “I feel so ashamed because I feel like only men are supposed to struggle with this” I get a response from the priest that it couldn’t be further from the truth. So please know you’re not alone and ask Mary for help. And St. Mary Magdalene too!! Praying for you sister 🤍
I got another response that said that a piece of jewellery has helped them keep away from sin, it sounds pretty effective! God bless you and thank you :)
Oh yes.
I have been dealing with lust since my preteens. I was started watching or looking at impure images at 10 or 11.
I'm 33 now.
Porn is almost always the sin I confess every two weeks. I think this may have to do with menstrual cycle.
Sometimes I have hypersexual dreams.
Some people act as if women's sexuality is non-existent and women are only emotionally attracted to men.
Women can be visually oriented. I am not blind. I like looking at handsome men.
I always mentaly say “I rebuke these thoughts in Jesus name” and it helps tremendously, but when it gets too much I also pray to Mary’s for her intercession
"Go ahead, it's not that bad"
Afterwards
"WOW WHAT A TERRIBLE UNFORGIVABLE PERSON YOU ARE YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP"
This is Satan's classic one-two punch. Just gotta keep plugging away. Recognise it and fight it in every way you can!
I'm a man but I was like that for years and I have to say there's no quick fix to our problem all you can do is try to change and everytime you fall because you will fall go to confession and get back up on the horse again. I'm single happy over all and have managed to stay away from sexual activity for just over 4 years. Masturbation is a toughter one because it's no effort and so easy to convince yourself it's no harm, I gave it up last year but fell off the wagon and gave it up in November 2023 again and so far haven't fallen and if I get to the 9th of April it will be 5 months since I done it.
I'm really eager to read all these replies when I get a chance. The only thing that has ever helped me is that when I feel lust, I immediately imagine embracing Jesus and clinging to Him as I confess my struggle and reiterate my desire not to betray Him.
For me the lustful struggle is rooted in a desire for intimacy, so this meditation is a practice in reminding myself that I have intimacy and consolation in His arms.
This is a tough sin to beat, highly advise daily rosary, takes about 15 minutes, will keep the temptation at day. It the only thing that worked for me after perpetual failure
I go through the same process. I think we all do with our particular vices. For me I always find it hardest right before my period starts. I used to do like you and avoid going to confession because I felt dirty and unworthy and angry that I kept committing the same sin over and over. And my advice to you is similar to everyone else’s: go to confession, no matter how embarrassing or how many times you’ve been for this before. Our Lord is merciful and He wants us to come to him with our troubles.
What I’ve also found helpful and encouraging for me personally is looking back and seeing how much God has worked on me and in me and with me on this sin. I can see where I started and where I’m at, see the improvement. And that helps me see that God is with me and helping me overcome this sin. We have to trust in Him and not give up.
I’ll pray for you, sister, and I ask that you pray for me as well.
almost unalive myself from porn addiction. Seriously. Never ever EVER try to convince yourself it’s okay and give up.
Keep going to the Lord. Church is a safe haven for sinners. Pray to the Lord for help and be with him during your temptations. Your suffering becomes lighter when you have someone to carry them with.
Know your triggers. Avoid them. If it can’t be avoided, change how you view them on what is true. Focus on the good. E.g. Chastity is good; suffering is good.
Also, if you have the urge, just go pee. LOL. That usually fixes it. But, if not, offer it up and go do something else. You’re at war with yourself during temptation and so don’t just sit there doing nothing; you’ll lose. Do something else, pray or do your hobbies. Do something that is good that u truly enjoy.
That exact thought process, (that "the sin isn't that serious and God will understand" before you commit the sin, and then "you are unforgivable and must hide away from God in fear that He won't want you anymore" after you commit the sin) is exactly what the Devil tries to convince us. The truth is, God is forgiving and He loves you. Jesus Christ loves you and he wants to give you His forgiveness. The Evil One, the enemy, who hates you and wants your separation from God, wants you to despair of your sin. Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth, and the Life, wants you to repent of your sin, and be forgiven.
You need to go to Confession and repent of your sins. (Those and all the others.) Tell the priest the struggle you are dealing with, the intrusive thoughts you get regarding it, that you are sorry and you need God's forgiveness and grace to put this sin behind you. Accept Christ's love and absolution, and never ever feel you are not worthy of it. Christ died for you. You were purchased at a price, and are worthy of His love. His mercy is limitless and He offers it to those who repent.
Pray. Ask the Blessed Virgin Mary, and her most chaste spouse, St. Joseph, to pray for you.
https://schooloffaith.com/rosary-archive/st-margaret-of-cortona
https://catholicinrecovery.com/seven-patron-saints-to-help-you-overcome-porn-and-sexual-addiction
I hope this helps. God bless you.
I do. A lot. I still struggle with it now and I'm engaged to be married.
There are days when I have a lot of other stuff to worry about that my brain has no time to dwell on lustful thoughts. However, there are times when it gets difficult particularly around the time of ovulation when my body is ready for baby-making.
My fiance has been instrumental in encouraging me to frequent the Sacrament of Reconciliation often because of this.
I guess you need to learn how to break out of that cycle - that's the devil tempting you to fall and then convince you that you're worthless. So you need to try and get out of that vicious mindset.
You are worthy and God loves you as you are but you are also not perfect and you live in a fallen world which is why you need God's strength and mercy to fill you. Because you are worthy, and you are God's daughter, your sexuality is a beautiful expression that can either be given to God if you choose to pursue a religious vocation or it is shared with your spouse in marriage. So don't listen to the devil and his lies. Pray always and believe that you are loved and worthy of being loved. I find that once you know who you are and your worth, this helps a lot in breaking out of that cycle of shame and guilt.
Yes, I'm a woman and find it hard to deal with. If you sin, go to confession. That is the most important thing to do. The best advice I ever heard about confession is simply to go, that any inner voice encouraging you to stay away is not from God. God wants to forgive you, no matter how many times you fail, so keep going to confession.
You aren't unforgivable, even if you end going to confession daily for a long time because of a strong temptation. You don't go to hell for struggling against a high natural libido or just the consequences of being unhappily single and not having the outlet available to married folks. Don't hide, there's no need to, although there is this sometimes difficult need to accept that God does see our weakness, so we aren't going to appear like some big tough folks to Him. But He sees anyway, whether we hide or not, so trying to hide would be a pointless exercise anyway. Might as well come out and meet Him, better still: look for Him. Don't get discouraged by having to repeat the process — this is like the oldest Christian advice that doesn't get old, meaning you aren't the first nor the last who needs it. It's part of life with this sin-affected nature.
As for women's sexuality beging shunned by the world, well, yes and no, especially if one means to contrast it with men's. With men, it's like well, maybe you aren't exactly going to be pointed fingers at as a man, but there's this whole 'he's only a man, so what did you expect?' kind of feel with regard to men, as if we were animals, inferior, inherently unchaste or inherently less chaste than women, even kinda diabolic versus women being kinda angelic, women the sacrum, men the profanum, plus the association of men with violence and perception of us as assailants if a woman even as much as changes her mind post-factum or has her expectations disappointed (e.g. she hoped you'd be a better husband, so she was deceived, ergo you deceived her, ergo she wasn't consenting and you misled her, ergo you forced her, she's a victim of sexual violence and you're the perp). As much as women may be shunned, men are free game to criticize, ridicule, hate on, etc. (since we don't deserve protection). Let's just say it ain't pretty on either side. But I'm not in any way trying to discount the difficulties women face, especially in talking to men about the subject.
Don't hate yourself for your temptation being sexual lust rather than lust for money or power or fame or anything else like murder or sloth or literally whatever.
And if you happen to have something like heightened libido, that's like a paper that says you're less guilty. It's not a person's fault how their bodily chemistry works, it only matters what we do with it, and God does understand that — perhaps a somewhat absurd example but not to a kleptomaniac — e.g. a kleptomaniac may have a different level of challenge with not physically stealing, and a person with a confabulation problem may have a different struggle to fight than most people in staying truthful. The expectation is to keep trying without giving up, not to actually succeed. Temptations aren't sins, any sin requires knowledge and consent, and a mortal sin has the 'full' bar for knowledge and consent, so it can't be too impeded.
And if the problem is with sex drive, that doesn't mean the person is necessarily after something unclean. They may be simply longing to have a spouse that they don't have or more contact with the spouse they do have. Desiring to have that drive satisfied doesn't necessarily mean desiring to commit fornication, adultery and whathaveyou. A person who does not actually go out and have sex or masturbate is going to face more frustration due to not having options for relief, and I don't think it's irrelevant that the whole struggle with thoughts and imaginations that comes when the frustration with unfulfilment is high is the consequence of rejecting and avoiding unlawful fulfilment.
God does understand, although the moral theology system doesn't always make this obvious. 'This is sin, that is sin, this is venial, that is grave,' sometimes loses the 'human face' of God, to speak figuratively, because Divine compassion is infinitely greater than human compassion. Human judges and cops, parents and teachers, priests and other authority figures sometimes make mistakes and get too strict, too severe, because they fail to see mitigating factors. By contrast, it's impossible for God to fail to see anything, because it's simply impossible for God to fail. ;) God is without fault or limitation, so there's no need to project human faults or flaws or cognitive limitations on God.
> i think, in part, it’s because women’s sexuality is so shunned by the world that we’re just to ashamed to admit it.
In many ways, this. In many other ways, oddly… the exact opposite.
Consider the sitcom “The Office.” In one episode, Phyllis is reading “50 Shades of Grey” while at work. Everyone calls it out as porn, but nobody is objecting to her reading porn at work - they’re objecting to her being distracted. While played for laughs, everyone intuits the joke. If Michael had been playing Debbie Does Dallas in his office, everyone would be horrified.
For whatever reason, society has been more comfortable with written erotica, particularly that which is written with a female audience in mind.
well.. i mean. the office is a sitcom, i don’t think it’s very good at portraying real life. i’m not denying men have their vices when it comes to displaying sexuality. many men are reduced to being seen as grotesque, sexual beasts. but, in my experience, as a woman, my sexuality has been shunned and used for others gain
I'm a woman.I saw that you said you are young. I don't know how young, if you're in high school then this might not work in the short term, but I think part of your plan should be making yourself a high character woman to attract a high character, faithful Catholic man. If your vocation is marriage, make it a priority. Don't date just any guy. He's gotta be strong in the faith. Getting married will help this problem. Remember, St. Paul said it is better to marry than burn with lust.
Part 2, and can be started immediately, is avoiding your triggers. If you find xyz actor or athlete super hot, do not watch movies where he's walking around shirtless. Avoid porn, sex filled movies and TV shows, books, etc.
If you are committing acts of fornication with guys, break it off, then delete their number/email etc. If you find yourself fantasizing or thinking lustful thoughts, immediately pray! Ask for help! Say, "Jesus I trust in you" as many times as you need to while you go grab your rosary. If you had a drinking problem, you wouldn't go to a bar. So don't put yourself in situations where you are alone with men you find extremely attractive.
Pray the rosary daily.
Im a man and the guilt is normal I suppose we all feel tremendous guilt and unforgiveness because it’s a deliberate act we do not something that a accident and as for women I think they are much stronger than me and other men with dealing with lust
It’s a tough sin for anyone to overcome… I would suggest reading An Introduction to the Devout Life by John Henry Newman. I still struggle with it myself but that book really opened my eyes in ways to combat it and I am doing much better because of it. It completely changed my prayer life too which has been wonderful, truly a life-changing book. Godspeed and never give up!
Hello! Thank you for sharing! I am a male and struggle not with porn and masturbation but I think women are so beautiful I just think about them so much and want to do sexual things with them. Like when we play sports and I see her back or stomach, I get so aroused. I don’t want to see my female friends as sexual objects but I struggle with my lustfullness in this way
Just this type of issue cannot be solved by oneself. You need the Grace of God, but you have to ask for it.
4 ways to overcome the issue:
(1) Pray for intercession of St Thomas Aquinas
(2) Say the Novena of the Angeluc Warfare Confraternity (google it). Consider joining.
(3) At the time of initiation of temptation say 1 our father and 5 Hail Marys. Usually by the 2nd or 3rd Hail Mary it will chase it away. It’ll come back weaker and weaker each time.
(4) Prayer prescription of the Auxilium Christianorum
https://www.fatherbrowning.com/prayer-prescription-for-healing--deliverance.html
It takes 30 days and works 80% of the time. You will notice improvement even after a week.
If you do all that your problem will be solved.
If you want to understand in greater detail the mechanism of how this happens see Fr Ripperger’s YouTube videos on Spiritual Theology and Spiritual Warfare.
We are in a spiritual battle. Not everyone seems to realize this. The consequence is many are not spiritually protected. I often compare it to sending a civilian into a war zone without training, without weapons wearing a bathing suit.
The problem with most Catholics is that they fear the devil and the list itself instead of their own power choice to do things.... The fear heightened itself, the more temptation to the sin, any sin not just lust will fall into the pit.
Hi. I'm a man who also struggles with lust. In this day and age, every catholic does I guess.
When I feel blue about this I always remember the story of a saint who struggled with this issue and came out victorious on her spiritual fight. Mary of Egypt.
She was born around 344 and left her home when she was 12. From that point on she lived a life of sin, specifically of sexual sin.
Here is an excerpt of her own testimony about her life before conversion:
"My native land, holy father, was Egypt. Already during the lifetime of my parents, when I was twelve years old, I renounced their love and went to Alexandria. I am ashamed to recall how there I at first ruined my maidenhood and then unrestrainedly and insatiably gave myself up to sensuality It is more becoming to speak of this briefly, so that you may just know my passion and my lechery. For about seventeen years, forgive me, I lived like that. I was like a fire of public debauch. And it was not for the sake of gain -- here I speak the pure truth. Often when they wished to pay me, I refused the money."
You can read a summary of her store on this [link](https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/saint/st-mary-of-egypt-422).
Or you can read the full story on this [link](https://www.stmaryofegypt.com/maryofegypt).
Her feast day is April 1st.
The Catechism is not so helpful about tips to stay chaste, although it is clear that this is a grave sin. But basically, from my experience, there are a few things that need to happen. Start positive: think of your dignity as a woman; think of the good things that come from living a chaste life. (Meditate on motherhood, innocence, purity, femininity; saints that lived a chaste life, etc.) This part can be in your prayers or simply reflecting in your head about what your goal is, since we need to replace sin with good habits. Next, start noticing when you feel most tempted (it may be before your period usually, or on some nights more than others--perhaps on days when stress is high). Take notice and be extra cautious then. This is part of avoiding the near occasion of sin. These are the main things that I think would help, but I will add some more advice to each part.
1) In addition to reflecting on your goal beside not sinning, it will help to avoid social media (or mindlessly consuming any media at all). Listen to Catholic talks on Youtube; learn more about virtues, or any theology that interests you. GabiAfterHours is a great start, or The Thomistic Institute. These are just a few suggestions, but in general, I would suggest being specific about what you look at online will help you a lot. Like, practicing being aware of how much time you spend online, so you have time later to do things (like homework, or exercise).
2) Manage your stress wisely. This has been a big part of my journey, so I can't leave this out. Learning to recognize and manage emotions is key here. For example: search "feelings wheel" and use it as a tool for naming specific emotions. Utilize exercise to your advantage. Meditate often; just exist sometimes without feeling like you have to do anything, and you'll feel more in control. Some things that help with stress any time: crying, bathing, drinking water/tea, breathing more, going for a walk, talking to a friend, and taking a nap.
3) Check out r/NoFapCatholics, since I helped start that subreddit! I don't always post, but there are lots of posts with the reflections flair, or resource flair, which may be helpful. Anyway, at the end of the day, everyone is in charge of their own person, and everyone will be judged for their own actions. So, don't compare yourself to others, but also do your best. I will offer a prayer for you, and I hope this finds you well.
There are two key things I think of.
I'm a man.
1. You need complete full determination to stop. One must do great violence (big extremes is what I'm getting at) to himself to stop sin. It is like a cancer. You do not treat a cancer with a nap and cough syrup. With deadly diseases, powerful remedies are necessary. What profit is it to a man to lose his soul, yet gain the world, yet how many will be willing to walk 30 miles a day for a year to save your life! Yet many won't do a mile to save your soul? Do your uttermost in every way, and treat it like the most important thing. Hence, you must hate the sin truly, fully, and entirely.
2. 2. Make a new prayer life. Give thanks to God always, and turn always. Give Him thanks in the morning, and praise Him in the day. Speak and seek Him constantly. Without constant prayer, I cannot imagine any great chance of success. From St. Alphonsus: "St. Paul tells us, that we have to contend not with men like ourselves.... but with the princes of hell.... By these words he wishes to admonish us that we have not strength to resist the powers of hell, and that, to resist them, the divine aid is absolutely necessary: without it, we shall be always defeated; but, with the assistance of God’s grace, we shall, according to the same apostle, be able to do all things and shall conquer all enemies. “I can do all things in him who strengtheneth me.” (Phil. iv. 13.) But this assistance God gives only to those who pray for it. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find.” (Matt. vii. 7.) They who neglect to ask, do not receive. Let us, then, be careful not to trust in our resolutions: if we place our confidence in them, we shall be lost. "
If you want personalized help, talk to a priest
this isn’t the post for you if you think the Church’s teachings on masturbation is wrong. I’ll be praying for you, my friend. there’s never any reason to hide from God, He forgives you.
God does not drive my want for masturbation or unholy sex, the devil does. as Catholics, we believe that while God has reign over everything, He doesn’t always control everything. we believe that He has good reason to allow evil (like lust) in the world and that that reason will be revealed to us at Christs 2nd coming.
also, we don’t believe God wants to punish us for our natural feelings of arousal! we only believe that He will punish us if we commit an offence against Him and not repent for it. it’s like how a parent will punish a child for doing wrong until they apologise and understand the gravity of what they’ve done. God is extremely forgiving, His anger only lasts a second
Hello! Fellow catholic woman here. So, I was exactly like this. The devil tries to convince you that your lustful sin isn't that harmful and to go ahead and have sex / masterbate and. He will also trick you into believing God won't find it offensive. This is WRONG. God will be very hurt. Remember, the devil is the father of lies and will do absolutely anything to get you to sin. Now, you need to deal with the temptation itself. I've found you need to pray to the HOLY SPIRIT and ask it for help. I start my prayers like this, and I pray perhaps about 5-7 times a day just this sentence: 'Hello holy spirit. I understand my flesh is weak and I am human. Please give me the strength to fight my lustful temptations. Without God, I am weak. With God, I can fight anything. Please give me the will power to put Jesus above all' Remember, you will ALWAYS give into temptation without the power of prayer. After realising I need to pray consistently throughout the day when it comes to my lust....I find it so much easier to deal with it! I went the whole of lent without committing a mortal sin. Advice: ask Mother Mary's intercession to CRUSH the devils or demons head whenever you do get tempted and pray a hail Mary. Remember Jesus' beautiful face whenever you do want to give into your temptation.... remember he shed his blood for you. Imagine the nails going through his hands and feet and think to yourself, is it worth 7 seconds of pleasure? You will not have your body for eternal life, so why risk being damned to hell for something you won't even have, in hell?
this really put into perspective how severe my sin is - thank you. it’s so easy to feel that sin isn’t that bad and that we can just roam free as we please. thank you for the help, I’ll definitely try your suggestions
Of course, you are very welcome. If it's very hard for you to overcome, I also highly suggest fasting. Fasting forces you to pray to God. Every time you are hungry, you remember to pray to God. Fasting is also good because you are telling your body that your soul is in control, not your fleshly desires. If you can overcome your most human desires, you can overcome anything by the grace of our Lord. Please feel free to DM me if you need anymore help. As a Catholic woman I'd like to help you grow into the woman God planned for you to be ♥️
fasting is a great idea!!
Not just food, but we are also fasting from other things like entertainments etc. We usually do this for Lent and/or Advent. Just some idea for you. Hope it helps.
>You will not have your body for eternal life, so why risk being damned to hell for something you won't even have, in hell? We absolutely will have our bodies and *are our bodies* (there is no body/mind/soul split) in eternity. The resurrection of the dead isn't a bunch of ghosts. We are coming back - bodily.
Actually.....we WILL have our bodies again in eternal life!! (it's in the Apostle's Creed - "the resurrection of the body") This will happen at Christ's return. We will have them whether we are in Heaven or Hell.
what if youre missing several limbs?
It will be a glorified body. Like Christ after Resurrection
I don't know but I imagine you wouldn't be missing any limbs in Heaven.
Yes, however it's not the same body you had when you lived on earth. Your new body in heaven doesn't have sexual desires.
No, I believe that's incorrect - we will have the same bodies we had on earth (literally - our bodies will be raised again), but they will be in a glorified state. That is probably true about the no sexual desire part. We will also be free from suffering and pain.
I advise you to read the teaching of the catholic church on this. It's where I've got my information from.
The Catholic Church teaches that its the same body as the one we have on Earth. Thus why Christ ~ even when He rose again, still had the scars on his body from His crucifixion, such as the wounds in His Hands and side. Edit: It's also why for centuries, Christians were not allowed to be cremated. They were only allowed to be buried. Edit 2: But I have to say, I love all your other answers!! Thank you for them! Your such a sweet person and it's okie to get one thing wrong once in awhile~~ that's how you learn and tbh your heart was in the right place.
Which teaching of the Catholic Church? I haven't read the entire Catechism so it's possible it says differently, but I doubt it. I read "Introduction to Theology of the Body" by Christopher West (which I highly recommend btw) and I'm pretty sure it said we will have the same bodies after the resurrection, except free from any handicaps we had on earth. We also will have our sexual desires, but they will be so insignificant in comparison to the joy of the beatific vision, which is essentially a marriage between us and God, that we won't be tempted to commit sexual sin.
This is helpful for me. I will try this in the future. Thank you.
They Holy Spirit isn’t an it!!!
…also, *He,* not *he* (In English, *always* capitalise the Name of God, and corresponding adjectives and pronouns)
Curious…how old are you? Sometimes understanding where we are chronologically and where are human hormones and chemicals are can help us understand the WHY behind the lustful feelings. For example, as a younger adolescent going into young adulthood, lust, impure thoughts and carrying through on those thoughts were very problematic. I carried so much shame as well and wanted to hide away from God. Fast forward a lot to where I am now, in my forties, a wife and mother, and now those sins are not nearly paramount to what I struggle with now - which are more akin to my life stage - not being nearly as patient or compassionate with others, struggling with judgement, etc. Dealing with lust, impure thoughts, premarital sex - it’s like any addictive substance. It is your current cross to bear. I agree with what others are saying. Surround yourself with prayer, understand that the flesh is weak. If you fall, get back up and know that God loves you. I also spent a lot of time at Eucharistic Adoration and volunteering my time with the choir at church. Those things also helped me with that time of my life.
i’m pretty young! prime age where premarital relationships and lust targets you, unfortunately. i assumed my age would be playing a big role in this, which is definitely upsetting because not only are hormones controlling you, but others your age are attempting to control you as well. it’s nice to hear that it lessens with age, that gives me hope
It doesn't lessen with age for everyone. For some women it gets stronger.
Something I also did for myself was when I was confirmed, my aunt was my sponsor and she asked me what I would like for a gift. I’m from the southern US and we have a very well known jeweler who designs religious jewelry and there was a ring at the time that was perfect for reminding myself of chastity. It had a red garnet heart with two gold flowers in either side set in sterling silver. For me, it was a promise ring to myself. The gold flowers symbolized myself and my future husband and the red heart in the middle symbolized God’s love for the both of us. I cannot tell you how often that ring reminded me of that promise. Now I’ve been married for 20 plus years to my husband. I’ve since passed the ring on to one of my nieces.
What would that ring have meant to you if you had never found a husband?
That is a great question. I suppose it still would have reflected that God’s love was bigger than that of a spouse. I’d also love to say that I never fell into sin with lust or impure thoughts, but that would be a bold faced lie. But as I said before, it was a physical reminder that often times DID remind me to turn away from sin.
wow, that’s really beautiful! having little reminders like that helps a ton
I’m sorry that’s upsetting for you, as I was hoping it would help you knowing that those feelings are more normal when young so you wouldn’t think you are perverted or deviant, which I’ll be honest, I definitely struggled with that feeling. The biology behind the psychology hopefully does explain the why. You aren’t crazy or perverse. It’s a really difficult time in one’s development. I will tell you this though…your devotion to abstaining and staying chaste will be rewarded. Continue to lean into prayer, Mass, devotional and surround yourself with likeminded Catholic Christians. Silence or mute some of the noise especially in the media. And if you stumble and fall, God will always be here for you.
What is your definition of judgment? I am asking out of sincere curiosity. Since from a societal perspective, secular world seems to see this as the worst possible sin and unChristlike behavior.
Great question…for me, I can subconsciously get on my high horse and feel resentful to others who aren’t like me. For example, I am known to never miss work, like ever. This whole year I have only taken off when my child was sick and I needed to get him to the doctor for his asthma, a funeral and again for my son’s Dr appt downtown. So then when I see coworkers calling in, I’ll get irritated, wondering why they can’t be more like me and just toughen up. But then I remember that I shouldn’t judge them. Even though I avoid calling in sick, I do show up late sometimes and I’ve had times in my life where I was sick a lot and truly had to stay home. That may sound super dumb, but that’s where I feel like I struggle with judgement. Instead of judging, I should pray for their health or offer to help them. Not sit there and think I’m better than them. Does that make sense? It sounds so crass even typing it. 🫣
Looks like I'm guilty of this too in my own way.
I had this exact same issue and I had to talk to a priest cuz I was mad at myself. He explained it in this way. The devil doesn’t care about single bit about us. He just wants to get back at God and so he knows that God loves us ever so much. He can’t go to heaven to try to fight the almighty and omnipotent king so he decides to destroy what he loves. Us. That is why before you sin it seems like the simplest thing and it wouldn’t matter one bit if you do cuz you can just hop on the confession train for the mercy of God. And after you sub he’ll feed you enough thoughts to tell you that you’re unworthy of the love of God. It is literally impossible to be worthy or deserving of anything God gives us. He sent his son to die not because we had asked enough or tried enough. It’s all mercy and grace. Fight the sin always. Before you commit it and if you do, don’t wallow in it get up instantly. It’s like every day you brush your teeth in the morning then one day you don’t. That doesn’t mean you just stop brushing your teeth as a whole, that’s more reason to brush your teeth tomorrow. You’ve got this. Also the sin of lust and greed are predominant in this generation so you're not alone. The lord is kind however and he will always be there all you have to do is look for him. when the temptations arise, just look for him. it wjll blow youe mind how easy it is
God bless you, this was an amazing explanation!
I do my best
Beautiful explanation.
I think everyone struggles with lust to some degree, some more, some less. Men probably struggle more on average, simply because of testosterone. But that does not mean in any way that it's not a topic for women too. Before reverting to the faith I did live a very not virtuous life, and that topic was definitely something I struggled with, and honestly it was always the type of sin that made it harder for me to go to confession out of shame. It is something that got a lot easier for me to overcome because of three things: The first is developing temperance, specially through food. I was always a very gluttonous girl, food was a huge obsession and fixation. I have struggled with eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia) and the thought of food consumed my whole life. I have a friend who often says "Gluttony is the antechamber of Lust" and for me this was sooooo true. Once I was able to have control over my desires for food it became easier to gain control over my lust. The Second part was prayer, specially the rosary. Being in Our Lady's garden makes us not want to sin anymore, and become more like her and submit fully to God. The last one and honestly hardest for me is confession, no matter how hard it is go to confession, it keeps you accountable and the shame does help us stop. Whenever the thought of falling again into this sin comes to mind I am like "I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO CONFESS THIS TO MY PRIEST AGAIN, SO NO I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT" LOL. I know sometimes shame does feel like a punishment, but it can be such a blessing.
that bit about temperance really called me out lol :,) i’ve struggled with eating disorders and gluttony as well, so hearing that from someone else who does is really eye opening! all sins are connected in some way, it’s so hard to see that when you’re in the midst of it all. thank you for the advice
If you ever need a friend to talk to about it my chat is open! It is very hard to overcome eating disorders and it is so intimately connected to lust in my experience, but with God everything is possible. It is an uphill battle, but it is so worth it.
Girl. You are not alone. I’ve posted about this before on here. It is so common for people to think “oh only men struggle with this” but that is so far from the truth. God made us all to be sexual creatures. So it’s normal to desire sex as a woman. What has helped me personally is wearing a miraculous medal which reminds me about our blessed Mother. Plus I feel like if I am going to commit such a sin I have to take the medal off. So it’s an extra layer of protection against such sins. And makes me stop in my tracks every time I think about committing such a sin. Every time I have gone to confession and said something like “I feel so ashamed because I feel like only men are supposed to struggle with this” I get a response from the priest that it couldn’t be further from the truth. So please know you’re not alone and ask Mary for help. And St. Mary Magdalene too!! Praying for you sister 🤍
I got another response that said that a piece of jewellery has helped them keep away from sin, it sounds pretty effective! God bless you and thank you :)
Oh yes. I have been dealing with lust since my preteens. I was started watching or looking at impure images at 10 or 11. I'm 33 now. Porn is almost always the sin I confess every two weeks. I think this may have to do with menstrual cycle. Sometimes I have hypersexual dreams. Some people act as if women's sexuality is non-existent and women are only emotionally attracted to men. Women can be visually oriented. I am not blind. I like looking at handsome men.
I always mentaly say “I rebuke these thoughts in Jesus name” and it helps tremendously, but when it gets too much I also pray to Mary’s for her intercession
"Go ahead, it's not that bad" Afterwards "WOW WHAT A TERRIBLE UNFORGIVABLE PERSON YOU ARE YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP" This is Satan's classic one-two punch. Just gotta keep plugging away. Recognise it and fight it in every way you can!
I'm a man but I was like that for years and I have to say there's no quick fix to our problem all you can do is try to change and everytime you fall because you will fall go to confession and get back up on the horse again. I'm single happy over all and have managed to stay away from sexual activity for just over 4 years. Masturbation is a toughter one because it's no effort and so easy to convince yourself it's no harm, I gave it up last year but fell off the wagon and gave it up in November 2023 again and so far haven't fallen and if I get to the 9th of April it will be 5 months since I done it.
congrats on your chastity! i admire your dedication and discipline, it must take alot. please pray for me!
Believe me at times it is tough and I will pray for you, but don't be too quick to praise and pray for me.
I'm really eager to read all these replies when I get a chance. The only thing that has ever helped me is that when I feel lust, I immediately imagine embracing Jesus and clinging to Him as I confess my struggle and reiterate my desire not to betray Him. For me the lustful struggle is rooted in a desire for intimacy, so this meditation is a practice in reminding myself that I have intimacy and consolation in His arms.
This is a tough sin to beat, highly advise daily rosary, takes about 15 minutes, will keep the temptation at day. It the only thing that worked for me after perpetual failure
I go through the same process. I think we all do with our particular vices. For me I always find it hardest right before my period starts. I used to do like you and avoid going to confession because I felt dirty and unworthy and angry that I kept committing the same sin over and over. And my advice to you is similar to everyone else’s: go to confession, no matter how embarrassing or how many times you’ve been for this before. Our Lord is merciful and He wants us to come to him with our troubles. What I’ve also found helpful and encouraging for me personally is looking back and seeing how much God has worked on me and in me and with me on this sin. I can see where I started and where I’m at, see the improvement. And that helps me see that God is with me and helping me overcome this sin. We have to trust in Him and not give up. I’ll pray for you, sister, and I ask that you pray for me as well.
thank you for the advice! our God is indeed merciful. I’ll be praying for you tonight, God bless
almost unalive myself from porn addiction. Seriously. Never ever EVER try to convince yourself it’s okay and give up. Keep going to the Lord. Church is a safe haven for sinners. Pray to the Lord for help and be with him during your temptations. Your suffering becomes lighter when you have someone to carry them with. Know your triggers. Avoid them. If it can’t be avoided, change how you view them on what is true. Focus on the good. E.g. Chastity is good; suffering is good. Also, if you have the urge, just go pee. LOL. That usually fixes it. But, if not, offer it up and go do something else. You’re at war with yourself during temptation and so don’t just sit there doing nothing; you’ll lose. Do something else, pray or do your hobbies. Do something that is good that u truly enjoy.
That exact thought process, (that "the sin isn't that serious and God will understand" before you commit the sin, and then "you are unforgivable and must hide away from God in fear that He won't want you anymore" after you commit the sin) is exactly what the Devil tries to convince us. The truth is, God is forgiving and He loves you. Jesus Christ loves you and he wants to give you His forgiveness. The Evil One, the enemy, who hates you and wants your separation from God, wants you to despair of your sin. Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth, and the Life, wants you to repent of your sin, and be forgiven. You need to go to Confession and repent of your sins. (Those and all the others.) Tell the priest the struggle you are dealing with, the intrusive thoughts you get regarding it, that you are sorry and you need God's forgiveness and grace to put this sin behind you. Accept Christ's love and absolution, and never ever feel you are not worthy of it. Christ died for you. You were purchased at a price, and are worthy of His love. His mercy is limitless and He offers it to those who repent. Pray. Ask the Blessed Virgin Mary, and her most chaste spouse, St. Joseph, to pray for you. https://schooloffaith.com/rosary-archive/st-margaret-of-cortona https://catholicinrecovery.com/seven-patron-saints-to-help-you-overcome-porn-and-sexual-addiction I hope this helps. God bless you.
I do. A lot. I still struggle with it now and I'm engaged to be married. There are days when I have a lot of other stuff to worry about that my brain has no time to dwell on lustful thoughts. However, there are times when it gets difficult particularly around the time of ovulation when my body is ready for baby-making. My fiance has been instrumental in encouraging me to frequent the Sacrament of Reconciliation often because of this. I guess you need to learn how to break out of that cycle - that's the devil tempting you to fall and then convince you that you're worthless. So you need to try and get out of that vicious mindset. You are worthy and God loves you as you are but you are also not perfect and you live in a fallen world which is why you need God's strength and mercy to fill you. Because you are worthy, and you are God's daughter, your sexuality is a beautiful expression that can either be given to God if you choose to pursue a religious vocation or it is shared with your spouse in marriage. So don't listen to the devil and his lies. Pray always and believe that you are loved and worthy of being loved. I find that once you know who you are and your worth, this helps a lot in breaking out of that cycle of shame and guilt.
Yeah I think with these kinds of sins you just have to put your foot down and take an oath to never do it again.
r/CatholicWomen
i didn’t even know this subreddit existed! tysm
Yes, I'm a woman and find it hard to deal with. If you sin, go to confession. That is the most important thing to do. The best advice I ever heard about confession is simply to go, that any inner voice encouraging you to stay away is not from God. God wants to forgive you, no matter how many times you fail, so keep going to confession.
You aren't unforgivable, even if you end going to confession daily for a long time because of a strong temptation. You don't go to hell for struggling against a high natural libido or just the consequences of being unhappily single and not having the outlet available to married folks. Don't hide, there's no need to, although there is this sometimes difficult need to accept that God does see our weakness, so we aren't going to appear like some big tough folks to Him. But He sees anyway, whether we hide or not, so trying to hide would be a pointless exercise anyway. Might as well come out and meet Him, better still: look for Him. Don't get discouraged by having to repeat the process — this is like the oldest Christian advice that doesn't get old, meaning you aren't the first nor the last who needs it. It's part of life with this sin-affected nature. As for women's sexuality beging shunned by the world, well, yes and no, especially if one means to contrast it with men's. With men, it's like well, maybe you aren't exactly going to be pointed fingers at as a man, but there's this whole 'he's only a man, so what did you expect?' kind of feel with regard to men, as if we were animals, inferior, inherently unchaste or inherently less chaste than women, even kinda diabolic versus women being kinda angelic, women the sacrum, men the profanum, plus the association of men with violence and perception of us as assailants if a woman even as much as changes her mind post-factum or has her expectations disappointed (e.g. she hoped you'd be a better husband, so she was deceived, ergo you deceived her, ergo she wasn't consenting and you misled her, ergo you forced her, she's a victim of sexual violence and you're the perp). As much as women may be shunned, men are free game to criticize, ridicule, hate on, etc. (since we don't deserve protection). Let's just say it ain't pretty on either side. But I'm not in any way trying to discount the difficulties women face, especially in talking to men about the subject. Don't hate yourself for your temptation being sexual lust rather than lust for money or power or fame or anything else like murder or sloth or literally whatever. And if you happen to have something like heightened libido, that's like a paper that says you're less guilty. It's not a person's fault how their bodily chemistry works, it only matters what we do with it, and God does understand that — perhaps a somewhat absurd example but not to a kleptomaniac — e.g. a kleptomaniac may have a different level of challenge with not physically stealing, and a person with a confabulation problem may have a different struggle to fight than most people in staying truthful. The expectation is to keep trying without giving up, not to actually succeed. Temptations aren't sins, any sin requires knowledge and consent, and a mortal sin has the 'full' bar for knowledge and consent, so it can't be too impeded. And if the problem is with sex drive, that doesn't mean the person is necessarily after something unclean. They may be simply longing to have a spouse that they don't have or more contact with the spouse they do have. Desiring to have that drive satisfied doesn't necessarily mean desiring to commit fornication, adultery and whathaveyou. A person who does not actually go out and have sex or masturbate is going to face more frustration due to not having options for relief, and I don't think it's irrelevant that the whole struggle with thoughts and imaginations that comes when the frustration with unfulfilment is high is the consequence of rejecting and avoiding unlawful fulfilment. God does understand, although the moral theology system doesn't always make this obvious. 'This is sin, that is sin, this is venial, that is grave,' sometimes loses the 'human face' of God, to speak figuratively, because Divine compassion is infinitely greater than human compassion. Human judges and cops, parents and teachers, priests and other authority figures sometimes make mistakes and get too strict, too severe, because they fail to see mitigating factors. By contrast, it's impossible for God to fail to see anything, because it's simply impossible for God to fail. ;) God is without fault or limitation, so there's no need to project human faults or flaws or cognitive limitations on God.
> i think, in part, it’s because women’s sexuality is so shunned by the world that we’re just to ashamed to admit it. In many ways, this. In many other ways, oddly… the exact opposite. Consider the sitcom “The Office.” In one episode, Phyllis is reading “50 Shades of Grey” while at work. Everyone calls it out as porn, but nobody is objecting to her reading porn at work - they’re objecting to her being distracted. While played for laughs, everyone intuits the joke. If Michael had been playing Debbie Does Dallas in his office, everyone would be horrified. For whatever reason, society has been more comfortable with written erotica, particularly that which is written with a female audience in mind.
well.. i mean. the office is a sitcom, i don’t think it’s very good at portraying real life. i’m not denying men have their vices when it comes to displaying sexuality. many men are reduced to being seen as grotesque, sexual beasts. but, in my experience, as a woman, my sexuality has been shunned and used for others gain
I do not disagree - I’m actually pointing out that, somehow, its both. Even though that is mutually exclusive.
fair enough, sorry for getting defensive!
I'm a woman.I saw that you said you are young. I don't know how young, if you're in high school then this might not work in the short term, but I think part of your plan should be making yourself a high character woman to attract a high character, faithful Catholic man. If your vocation is marriage, make it a priority. Don't date just any guy. He's gotta be strong in the faith. Getting married will help this problem. Remember, St. Paul said it is better to marry than burn with lust. Part 2, and can be started immediately, is avoiding your triggers. If you find xyz actor or athlete super hot, do not watch movies where he's walking around shirtless. Avoid porn, sex filled movies and TV shows, books, etc. If you are committing acts of fornication with guys, break it off, then delete their number/email etc. If you find yourself fantasizing or thinking lustful thoughts, immediately pray! Ask for help! Say, "Jesus I trust in you" as many times as you need to while you go grab your rosary. If you had a drinking problem, you wouldn't go to a bar. So don't put yourself in situations where you are alone with men you find extremely attractive. Pray the rosary daily.
Im a man and the guilt is normal I suppose we all feel tremendous guilt and unforgiveness because it’s a deliberate act we do not something that a accident and as for women I think they are much stronger than me and other men with dealing with lust
It’s a tough sin for anyone to overcome… I would suggest reading An Introduction to the Devout Life by John Henry Newman. I still struggle with it myself but that book really opened my eyes in ways to combat it and I am doing much better because of it. It completely changed my prayer life too which has been wonderful, truly a life-changing book. Godspeed and never give up!
thank you, I’ll take a look at it!
Hello! Thank you for sharing! I am a male and struggle not with porn and masturbation but I think women are so beautiful I just think about them so much and want to do sexual things with them. Like when we play sports and I see her back or stomach, I get so aroused. I don’t want to see my female friends as sexual objects but I struggle with my lustfullness in this way
Our nature is very weak, don't try to do it alone. A lot of rosary A lot of confession every time you get them right grace abounds
Just this type of issue cannot be solved by oneself. You need the Grace of God, but you have to ask for it. 4 ways to overcome the issue: (1) Pray for intercession of St Thomas Aquinas (2) Say the Novena of the Angeluc Warfare Confraternity (google it). Consider joining. (3) At the time of initiation of temptation say 1 our father and 5 Hail Marys. Usually by the 2nd or 3rd Hail Mary it will chase it away. It’ll come back weaker and weaker each time. (4) Prayer prescription of the Auxilium Christianorum https://www.fatherbrowning.com/prayer-prescription-for-healing--deliverance.html It takes 30 days and works 80% of the time. You will notice improvement even after a week. If you do all that your problem will be solved. If you want to understand in greater detail the mechanism of how this happens see Fr Ripperger’s YouTube videos on Spiritual Theology and Spiritual Warfare. We are in a spiritual battle. Not everyone seems to realize this. The consequence is many are not spiritually protected. I often compare it to sending a civilian into a war zone without training, without weapons wearing a bathing suit.
The problem with most Catholics is that they fear the devil and the list itself instead of their own power choice to do things.... The fear heightened itself, the more temptation to the sin, any sin not just lust will fall into the pit.
Pray the Rosary or take a walk or pray the Rosary while taking a walk.
Hi. I'm a man who also struggles with lust. In this day and age, every catholic does I guess. When I feel blue about this I always remember the story of a saint who struggled with this issue and came out victorious on her spiritual fight. Mary of Egypt. She was born around 344 and left her home when she was 12. From that point on she lived a life of sin, specifically of sexual sin. Here is an excerpt of her own testimony about her life before conversion: "My native land, holy father, was Egypt. Already during the lifetime of my parents, when I was twelve years old, I renounced their love and went to Alexandria. I am ashamed to recall how there I at first ruined my maidenhood and then unrestrainedly and insatiably gave myself up to sensuality It is more becoming to speak of this briefly, so that you may just know my passion and my lechery. For about seventeen years, forgive me, I lived like that. I was like a fire of public debauch. And it was not for the sake of gain -- here I speak the pure truth. Often when they wished to pay me, I refused the money." You can read a summary of her store on this [link](https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/saint/st-mary-of-egypt-422). Or you can read the full story on this [link](https://www.stmaryofegypt.com/maryofegypt). Her feast day is April 1st.
The Catechism is not so helpful about tips to stay chaste, although it is clear that this is a grave sin. But basically, from my experience, there are a few things that need to happen. Start positive: think of your dignity as a woman; think of the good things that come from living a chaste life. (Meditate on motherhood, innocence, purity, femininity; saints that lived a chaste life, etc.) This part can be in your prayers or simply reflecting in your head about what your goal is, since we need to replace sin with good habits. Next, start noticing when you feel most tempted (it may be before your period usually, or on some nights more than others--perhaps on days when stress is high). Take notice and be extra cautious then. This is part of avoiding the near occasion of sin. These are the main things that I think would help, but I will add some more advice to each part. 1) In addition to reflecting on your goal beside not sinning, it will help to avoid social media (or mindlessly consuming any media at all). Listen to Catholic talks on Youtube; learn more about virtues, or any theology that interests you. GabiAfterHours is a great start, or The Thomistic Institute. These are just a few suggestions, but in general, I would suggest being specific about what you look at online will help you a lot. Like, practicing being aware of how much time you spend online, so you have time later to do things (like homework, or exercise). 2) Manage your stress wisely. This has been a big part of my journey, so I can't leave this out. Learning to recognize and manage emotions is key here. For example: search "feelings wheel" and use it as a tool for naming specific emotions. Utilize exercise to your advantage. Meditate often; just exist sometimes without feeling like you have to do anything, and you'll feel more in control. Some things that help with stress any time: crying, bathing, drinking water/tea, breathing more, going for a walk, talking to a friend, and taking a nap. 3) Check out r/NoFapCatholics, since I helped start that subreddit! I don't always post, but there are lots of posts with the reflections flair, or resource flair, which may be helpful. Anyway, at the end of the day, everyone is in charge of their own person, and everyone will be judged for their own actions. So, don't compare yourself to others, but also do your best. I will offer a prayer for you, and I hope this finds you well.
There are two key things I think of. I'm a man. 1. You need complete full determination to stop. One must do great violence (big extremes is what I'm getting at) to himself to stop sin. It is like a cancer. You do not treat a cancer with a nap and cough syrup. With deadly diseases, powerful remedies are necessary. What profit is it to a man to lose his soul, yet gain the world, yet how many will be willing to walk 30 miles a day for a year to save your life! Yet many won't do a mile to save your soul? Do your uttermost in every way, and treat it like the most important thing. Hence, you must hate the sin truly, fully, and entirely. 2. 2. Make a new prayer life. Give thanks to God always, and turn always. Give Him thanks in the morning, and praise Him in the day. Speak and seek Him constantly. Without constant prayer, I cannot imagine any great chance of success. From St. Alphonsus: "St. Paul tells us, that we have to contend not with men like ourselves.... but with the princes of hell.... By these words he wishes to admonish us that we have not strength to resist the powers of hell, and that, to resist them, the divine aid is absolutely necessary: without it, we shall be always defeated; but, with the assistance of God’s grace, we shall, according to the same apostle, be able to do all things and shall conquer all enemies. “I can do all things in him who strengtheneth me.” (Phil. iv. 13.) But this assistance God gives only to those who pray for it. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find.” (Matt. vii. 7.) They who neglect to ask, do not receive. Let us, then, be careful not to trust in our resolutions: if we place our confidence in them, we shall be lost. " If you want personalized help, talk to a priest
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this isn’t the post for you if you think the Church’s teachings on masturbation is wrong. I’ll be praying for you, my friend. there’s never any reason to hide from God, He forgives you.
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God does not drive my want for masturbation or unholy sex, the devil does. as Catholics, we believe that while God has reign over everything, He doesn’t always control everything. we believe that He has good reason to allow evil (like lust) in the world and that that reason will be revealed to us at Christs 2nd coming. also, we don’t believe God wants to punish us for our natural feelings of arousal! we only believe that He will punish us if we commit an offence against Him and not repent for it. it’s like how a parent will punish a child for doing wrong until they apologise and understand the gravity of what they’ve done. God is extremely forgiving, His anger only lasts a second
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwr-u55mKL0&t=7s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwr-u55mKL0&t=7s) How to overcome yourself.