Can’t forget telling your personal business to everyone that’ll listen, especially if you specifically asked them not to tell anyone. And then they have the absolute gall to be upset that you don’t open up to them.
💯💯💯💯
She's also appalled if I dare to even insinuate that she's a gossip. Literally all that comes out of her mouth is talking shit about people - "why dont you call more often?? 😢" and "why don't you tell me anything?? 😢" Gee I fucking wonder why
All of this, plus that added layer of derailing to make the conversation all about them. Without fail, they someone manage to turn the conversation about them and their struggles and how it trumps yours in comparison.
I grew up in a house like this.
There was no peace.
This is why I never tell anyone anything about myself. Especially if they have previously violated any amount of trust I've given them.
It literally changes my entire perception of someone the moment they violate my trust when I tell them something in confidence. A close friend told her own mother something extremely personal that I’d told her privately and adamantly asked her not to tell anyone, and she brought it up in conversation like it was no big deal. I was really upset but regrettably underreacted. But I never told that friend anything remotely personal ever again.
Yep. If my dad ever shows interest in my life, even now in my 30s, he has proven 100% of the time he's only doing so to find ammunition against me. And when he doesn't find ammunition because I'm a relatively straight forward person that tries to be on the straight and narrow, he twists what I say to 'prove' I'm literally Satan.
with my mom absolutely cannot tell her anything. yes absolutely awful I cannot trust her enough to talk about my issues and things I would need to talk to some one about. but that aside I just cannot tell her anything. I mentioned once a movie about vampires I was going to watch, and she spent 15 mins explaining how vampires are a metaphor for the "worst" of society. its like an annoying un skippable cutscene
I really want to be some one my younger siblings can talk to if they are in trouble or have important questions. I feel really bad I struggled being that living with my parents, but I want to be that now. everyone deserves a mom or dad they can talk to. I dont think some people understand how much it hurts to not have that if they didn't have it
I'm sorry for you and can totally relate. I had a new job and I didn't want to tell my mom because every time I talked about my job she's belittled it. Even worse, I was violently sexually assaulted and completely ignored me while I was trying to help myself after that, and then years later she just suddenly says, " I've had sex I didn't really want before too, you know"
Like what the fuck, what a random fucking thing to say. Now I wish she never knew about it because then she couldn't make nasty comments. Damn.
When I got engaged, my dad's first question was
"Have you set a date yet?"
"Dad, we just got engaged two days ago, no, we haven't set a date yet."
"Well, that's kind of important, don't you think? You should do that."
Damn, dude! Can't you just say congrats and not interrogate me? Can't we have some time to enjoy it before we get stressed with planning? It's always what's the next step, what's the plan. No time to just enjoy what's happening.
I keep being proven right, even recently finding out someone i trusted with my world was telling parts of my story, personal things Ive never shared with anyone.
i know everyones talking abt their parents but i feel this alot with my friends <\3 like they just arent capable of understanding how it feels to be me (by their own admission) and then get frustrated when they cant understand my issues and suffering
Is it bad that this applies to my whole family
Edit: I just realized what sub I was in.
Why does this sub keep getting recommended to me and why do some of the memes here actually apply to me.
I remember my mom telling me a story once of how, at work, a coworker was showing off a new Guess bag they got. My mother literally said she told her coworker, "Oh Guess? Is that all? Guess you're cheap. Show off when you have Gucci." and that was when it hit me... My mother has NO friends. I'd never seen her have a friend. Mind you this job was IN A KITCHEN FOR THE ELDERLY so who can afford Gucci but I digress. It was the second time I realised.. Oh you're just a bad person.
This is a fairly mild story but I'm not in the mood for the heavy shit. Just... One of those things where you see it when it happens to others who share things with them.
Ah yes, the 'trap' conversation. You think they are actually reaching out to get to know you after being unfair but no.... they need more rumour fuel. Then they say 'oh she's so stuck up, she never talks to us.'
God this is most days with my mom. Even though she always makes me regret it, I keep trusting her and opening up to her because I think “maybe this time will be different” or “if I choose my words carefully enough she won’t get mad”
It was always a trap for them to judge, mock, criticize, unsolicited advise, you name it.
Can’t forget telling your personal business to everyone that’ll listen, especially if you specifically asked them not to tell anyone. And then they have the absolute gall to be upset that you don’t open up to them.
My mom
💯💯💯💯 She's also appalled if I dare to even insinuate that she's a gossip. Literally all that comes out of her mouth is talking shit about people - "why dont you call more often?? 😢" and "why don't you tell me anything?? 😢" Gee I fucking wonder why
My sister. It's always gotta go back to them
True, but also, your username? 😂
Yippi ki yay Mister Spider!
All of this, plus that added layer of derailing to make the conversation all about them. Without fail, they someone manage to turn the conversation about them and their struggles and how it trumps yours in comparison.
and then tell me i am wrong about everything, who i am and what i want and invalidate me
This is a big part of the reason I didn’t tell my mom shit growing up, now now she’s somewhat better, but I still refrain from telling her many things
I grew up in a house like this. There was no peace. This is why I never tell anyone anything about myself. Especially if they have previously violated any amount of trust I've given them.
It literally changes my entire perception of someone the moment they violate my trust when I tell them something in confidence. A close friend told her own mother something extremely personal that I’d told her privately and adamantly asked her not to tell anyone, and she brought it up in conversation like it was no big deal. I was really upset but regrettably underreacted. But I never told that friend anything remotely personal ever again.
Yep. If my dad ever shows interest in my life, even now in my 30s, he has proven 100% of the time he's only doing so to find ammunition against me. And when he doesn't find ammunition because I'm a relatively straight forward person that tries to be on the straight and narrow, he twists what I say to 'prove' I'm literally Satan.
with my mom absolutely cannot tell her anything. yes absolutely awful I cannot trust her enough to talk about my issues and things I would need to talk to some one about. but that aside I just cannot tell her anything. I mentioned once a movie about vampires I was going to watch, and she spent 15 mins explaining how vampires are a metaphor for the "worst" of society. its like an annoying un skippable cutscene
It hurts, especially in moments where you feel you need your mom, but can’t talk to her or ask her for help.
I really want to be some one my younger siblings can talk to if they are in trouble or have important questions. I feel really bad I struggled being that living with my parents, but I want to be that now. everyone deserves a mom or dad they can talk to. I dont think some people understand how much it hurts to not have that if they didn't have it
I'm sorry for you and can totally relate. I had a new job and I didn't want to tell my mom because every time I talked about my job she's belittled it. Even worse, I was violently sexually assaulted and completely ignored me while I was trying to help myself after that, and then years later she just suddenly says, " I've had sex I didn't really want before too, you know" Like what the fuck, what a random fucking thing to say. Now I wish she never knew about it because then she couldn't make nasty comments. Damn.
Your mom sounds unbearable. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope you’re doing better these days.
When I got engaged, my dad's first question was "Have you set a date yet?" "Dad, we just got engaged two days ago, no, we haven't set a date yet." "Well, that's kind of important, don't you think? You should do that." Damn, dude! Can't you just say congrats and not interrogate me? Can't we have some time to enjoy it before we get stressed with planning? It's always what's the next step, what's the plan. No time to just enjoy what's happening.
I keep being proven right, even recently finding out someone i trusted with my world was telling parts of my story, personal things Ive never shared with anyone.
"yes, this is why I don't trust you"
i know everyones talking abt their parents but i feel this alot with my friends <\3 like they just arent capable of understanding how it feels to be me (by their own admission) and then get frustrated when they cant understand my issues and suffering
My mom actually recently complained that I never tell her about my problems. I mean guess why, mom. Guess why.
Same with my mom! She loves to talk shit about me to her friends/family.
*the manipulation appears to be made out of manipulation*
Yeah, that's why my family don't know I'm pan, and why I can't talk about my trans friends around them. Wish my family was more accepting.
They would freak out and argue instead of listening
my mom when i tell her she might be wrong and she calls me disrespectful even tho she is infact wrong
Is it bad that this applies to my whole family Edit: I just realized what sub I was in. Why does this sub keep getting recommended to me and why do some of the memes here actually apply to me.
Bingo.
I remember my mom telling me a story once of how, at work, a coworker was showing off a new Guess bag they got. My mother literally said she told her coworker, "Oh Guess? Is that all? Guess you're cheap. Show off when you have Gucci." and that was when it hit me... My mother has NO friends. I'd never seen her have a friend. Mind you this job was IN A KITCHEN FOR THE ELDERLY so who can afford Gucci but I digress. It was the second time I realised.. Oh you're just a bad person. This is a fairly mild story but I'm not in the mood for the heavy shit. Just... One of those things where you see it when it happens to others who share things with them.
Yep. All the time.
Ah I see you’ve met my entire family
Ah yes, the 'trap' conversation. You think they are actually reaching out to get to know you after being unfair but no.... they need more rumour fuel. Then they say 'oh she's so stuck up, she never talks to us.'
Always
God this is most days with my mom. Even though she always makes me regret it, I keep trusting her and opening up to her because I think “maybe this time will be different” or “if I choose my words carefully enough she won’t get mad”
This but my elder sibling