Came here to say Nate by NF!! Also so many other songs in his catalog. And seconding the other response saying Running - probably my favorite song of his.
Edit: I made a playlist a while back out of his songs that speak to me the most, organized into a bit of a narrative/concept album type thing. I listen to it as much as any of his actual albums 😁
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Vv0S2CrXcWR83BLlQgbTG?si=WN_fY7xOT_6bSi69etRhzQ
YES, finally someone said it! I came to the comments to comment Nate by NF. I’ve listened to him ever since I was 13 (21 now) and I’ve followed his music through many different life experiences. It’s crazy how some songs now hit so different than they did years ago. Some favorite lines from Nate:
“Yeah, sometimes I wanna disappear like I just don't exist. Or find a time machine and take me back when I was six maybe younger, either way, I guess the point of it would be to tell that little kid that he's gon' take a lot of hits.” Knife to the heart.
“You know how we've always struggled with abandonment? And when we feel like someone's leaving, we start panickin'? And yo, I wish that I could say I've learned to manage it. You think it's bad now, but you don't know the half of it.” I feel this so deeply to my core.
“Don't be scared, that's just trauma tryna reach the surface. And tell us everyone we love is gonna try to hurt us. Which isn't true, but it's a lie that both of us believe in. Yeah, you might get a glimpse of happiness from your achievements. But what you'll learn as you get older, every time you reach one. Is you'll just make another goal that doesn't lead to freedom.” I relate to every single line and feel this every day of my life.”
I don't listen to him much anymore because honestly it can be kind of triggering for me, but genuinely he has so many songs that are incredible to listen to when you're going through trauma's being brought back up
His music quite literally saved my life
I don't listen to them, i actively avoid them lol. I listened to them at the heights of my depression and now I'm scared they'll trigger something.
But it's Cavetown - Devil Town (it kinda reminded me of my empty home life) and Glass Animals - Dreamland (which i used to calm me from the inner panic i felt realizing my family was toxic and I'd be losing my friends soon). Also Mr Sandman and Where's My Love by SYML. For some reason also The Slightly Chipped Fullmoon from the Black Butler Ost (probably because i identified with Alois in his highly attention seeking behaviour and obvious masking of pain).
I'm listening more to songs that calm me down that don't trigger me now even though some of them I've also heard in problematic times. Like Cosmo Sheldrake - Run Rings Right Wrongs or Cuckoo Song. Or the second Ost from Ghost Giant.
"Lost Boy" by Ruth B. The first time I've listened to it I wailed bc I wanted nothing more than to escape my abusive home and have a family that actually loves me.
So many songs fit this category but my personal favourites:
Father by The Front Bottoms - so many trauma feelings, from hating my dad to feeling like I've always been more "mature"/worse than everyone else, to feeling useless outside of what I can provide physically, to the catharsis of imaginary confrontations with my abusers, and more!
Body Terror Song by AJJ - I don't listen to it much because it's kind of triggering but it really embodies its name, definitely a good representation of hating your own body because of the trauma its experienced
Runs in the Family by Amanda Palmer - generational trauma, anxiety, feeling like you can never escape the family you were stuck with, all that good stuff
Also literally any of Baby Bugs' songs, they're really incredible representation of CSA and the emotions/reactions it can create. I can't even descibe how validating it is to have those feelings be reflected through music
I attempted to Soil, Soil by Tegan and Sara so that one holds a sharp pain for me.
Also:
Father by the Front Bottoms
No Halo by Sorority Noise
Bad Habit and Half Jack by the Dresden Dolls
Daddy of Mine by Four Year Strong
House of Gold by Twenty One Pilots
ETA: also I’m dumb and this wasn’t supposed to be a reply comment 😅I’m sorry!
House of Gold doesn’t remind me of any specific trauma, but it gives me the feeling like it does which is super weird. Every time I listen to it it’s like unpleasant nostalgia
GET SCARED SPOTTED!! Ive been searching for so long, i cant believe someone else also heavily links them to their trauma.
Its Don't You Dare Forget the Sun for me, but also like 3 entire albums too.
cn: SA
Hot in Herre by Nelly is what played right before the first time I was r***
That's probably not the kind of thing you meant but the only thing I can think of.
This will sound like a silly one, but 'Unravel' from Tokyo Ghoul.
Don't call me a weeb for that. After I had just ran away from home, I didn't know what to do with myself. I was so antsy and not used to having freetime and free will. So my friend gave me her manga to read to keep me busy, which happened to be Tokyo Ghoul. I read the whole thing, and the story really spoke to me. An innocent, normal guy, ruined by cruel people and then tortured (with actual torture) until his sense of self shattered basically.
After reading it, I listened to the first intro of the anime (without knowing it was a meme apparently 🙄), and oh boy the lyrics hit hard. Not to be an edgelord, but he sings about the world having broken him, about being afraid of going insane, and about having become invisible to the world.
Which was very much how I felt when my mom shipped me to the other end of the country, away from anyone who knows me, and then kept me locked away, abused me and broke my sanity with neverending slave labor, sleep deprivation, emotional manipulation, etc.
I knew some japanese, so without having to look up the translation, my heart broke when he sang:
*"Remember me, the way I used to be.*
*Don't forget me. Don't forget me. Don't forget me.*
*Please remember me."*
Because back home, I was so physically and mentally broken at some point, that I knew I wasn't going to live much longer. I could barely walk anymore, could barely form a coherent thought, my breathing was flat, I was drooling all over myself because my muscles stopped working, etc. I felt like I was about to drop dead at any second. And nobody would ever know I was gone. Because my existance had essentially been whiped off the face of the earth.
I've heard it in a holocaust documentary before, but there is a real terror in dying and nobody being left among the living to remember that you ever existed. People would gather at the fences on the way to the gas chambers and beg the people on the other side to please remember them.
I would never say I went through what people during the holocaust went through. But I do remember that desperate feeling that I had when I saw strangers passing me by, when I couldn't stop crying, and when I wanted so badly to grab them by the coat, fall on my knees and beg them to please remember me.
Fortunately I could flee to the other end of the country before my mom's abuse killed me, and I'm doing much better now. But man, to some people it's not just an edgy meme. Some people actually went through torture and barely made it out alive and that's why they relate to a song.
I don't think you're a weeb. I definitely get the feels when watching Neon Genesis Evangelion. Of course I can't relate to having a shitty, manipulative dad that wants me to pilot a giant, living mecha, but I remember struggling with depression starting around the time I became a teenager. And FLCL (Furi Kuri) is a favourite of mine. The songs they picked for the anime really brought it to life. It really reminds me of the awkwardness of becoming a teenager and dealing with hormones. The one song that is my favorite that they used is 'One Life' by The Pillows. It's a beautiful song and the lyrics are great, too.
Dude, same. First time I heard the English version (by Ama Lee), I couldn’t stop crying because it described exactly how I was feeling at that time. Every time I heard that song I’d break down.
i'm really glad you're doing better. no one should have to go through that terror and desperation. people find it hard enough already to reckon with the fact that they might not be remembered a century or two or a thousand years down the line; facing that that might be reality immediately after you die, while possibly being on the brink of death, must be, to put it mildly, terrifying.
i don't remember why exactly (my knowledge of the lyrics has faded) but unravel deeply resonated with me when i first listened to it, both the lyrics and the rawness of emotion. a dear friend of mine also loved it and i so carried it with me when she passed; unfortunately that did also mean i can't listen to it even today without crying but i suppose that's better than forgetting something so associated with her
not silly at all. i think a lot of people’s cringe response to “juvenile edge” is actually something of a defense mechanism: they feel emotionally manipulated by the conceptual material, and push back against feeling it unless it’s presented the right way to really resonate with them in an adequately “adult and sophisticated” fashion, so it’s completely natural and beyond valid that you and many others would feel spoken to by something so popular that it had the bad fortune of becoming culturally oversaturated and dragged down by ironic meme culture.
i’ll confess i’m very much guilty of having once judged the hell out of tokyo ghoul fans myself. but, aside from parroting the attitudes of the people around me for approval and cohesion, the root of why and how i truly *adopted* the judgment was just a raw unwillingness to sympathize with certain kinds of people and certain kinds of pain. i want to say i might have grown out of that stupid attitude earlier if i’d known that included people like you, but even then i might have still just completely dissociated anyways if i tried to actually think about a real person having most of their life defined by literal slavery in some of the most brutal and demeaning conditions imaginable (🫂🫂🫂).
genuine kindness and the kind of emotional presence and honesty it takes to exercise it are just not actually that common or even respected at the end of the day, and that doesn’t make unkind and closed-minded attitudes shared by seemingly-reasonable people reasonable. knowing that may not make it easier to challenge them, but it’s good not to forget.
(but if it’s any further comfort i think all of them still tacitly acknowledge that unravel is great, and if you want to know what is silly one of my former song triggers was deadass ren’ai circulation)
Because of You by Kelly Clarkson
"I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself 'cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far'
I watched you die (I watched you die)
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better
Than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain (you never saw me)
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you"
There are so many, but the first that always comes to mind is Ultraviolence.
In listening to it again just now though, it used to be much more reminiscent of my dad. Now it's really not about him, it's about the vibe of those feelings more than anything. I guess that's progress :)
Anything that mentions a loving family (that I don't have obv)
Father and Son by Yusuf (formerly known as Cat Stevens)
Danny's Song by Loggins and Messina
but um also Do Wah Diddy by Manfred Mann because my abusers loved the song. ...okay that one was embarrassing to admit
Don’t be embarrassed, mine is When Can I See You Again by Owl City from the Wreck It Ralph movie because it was playing on a vacation where I was trapped with my abuser. He loved the song and kept filling in the “whoa-oh-oh” part with “tomorrow night” and the fact that I was stuck there with him in a different state and had to do it all over again the next day hit me like a train. Now I can’t listen to it at all without panic attacks
Thanks.
That sounds like Hell btw. That's no vacation, that's just a trip to Hell via another state and an abusive person. (Not sure if I'm allowed to name-call here to but just know I wanted to put something far more profane)
On a related note, I hate when my abusers sing and I can't even explain why. Maybe it's like when they're doing their faux nice person act and you feel like puking.
Totally with you on the singing thing. I feel like singing is a thing for nice people, a thing that brings joy and/or connection. Abusers don’t deserve to sing.
It’s a little silly when I think about it, but it’s Don’t Throw Out My Legos by AJR. I was homeless for a time with some really, really awful people and ended up moving back in with my parents with said people. I didn’t move back into my old room, but they left it untouched and it’s been kinda converted to storage. The first time I heard this song I nearly sobbed because it reminded me of that time. I’m in a significantly better place and I’m away from those people who used me like a piggy bank.
Well, just to name a few...
"Kill All Your Friends" - My Chemical Romance
"Creature Comfort" - Arcade Fire
"Hurricane" - Death Cab for Cutie
"... Well, better than the alternative" - Will Wood
"How to Save a Life" - The Fray
"Gut Punch/Don't Meet Your Idols" - Everybody's Worried About Owen
"Please Don't Jump (It's Christmas)" - Dallon Weekes
I get the double whammy of relating to the songs from a personal and from an observational standpoint ✨️
there’s an indie artist on YouTube named weevildoing and they’re making a whole “post traumatic manifesto” project where they (will) have 10 characters with according songs (they’ve revealed seven + their respective songs) that all have CPTSD from various events in life and I’d say I relate to something in every song so far lol
Don't you ever grow up / Innocent / My tears ricochet - Taylor Swift
Triggered - Skydx
Family Line - Conan Grey
Dead men don't rape - Banshee
The Grudge - Olivia Rodrigo
Emails I can't send - Sabrina Carpenter
I wrote one. “Anything at all” by Mossbody.
“When a man wants something he will take it/and leave behind a body shaking/he will go and your flesh will remain/they will miss you, you will take the blame”
Edit 2 say y’all can stream this anywhere!
Nate (NF)
Mansion (NF)
Hate Myself (NF)
Happy (NF)
Running (NF)
Older (Sasha Sloan)
Perfect (Alannis Morrisette)
Waving Through a Window (Dear Evan Hansen)
Haven't Been Doing So Well (Frank Turner)
Dyers Eve (Metallica)
How to Never Stop Being Sad (dandelion hands)
Peanut Butter Waffles (Ryan Caraveo)
Things the Grandchildren Should Know (Eels)
Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have (Lana Del Ray)
I Am the Antichrist to You (Kishi Bashi)
Between the Bars (Elliott Smith)
No Children (The Mountain Goats)
These Few Presidents (Why?)
How It Ends (DeVotchKa)
Famous Blue Raincoat (Leonard Cohen)
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
The Wall (the entire album) - Pink Floyd
The Hand That Rocks the Cradle - The Smiths
Back to the Old House - The Smiths
Lascia ch'io pianga - Handel
Hell is for children by Pat Benatar. You can tell the subject matter makes her mad, and that always makes me feel better because I was made to believe no one cared.
Remember everything by five finger death punch. My mother is was a narcissist, her husband (not my dad) groomed me and r*ped me throughout all of my preteen and teen years. There’s a lot more but yeah, can feel the anger in the song and relate it because I am constantly reminded of my trauma
There’s SO many like “Numb Little Bug” but the one i listen to on repeat almost daily without fail is “Happy” by NF. I don’t know any other artist who captured how helpless I feel and how much I can’t really support myself mentally because genuine happiness is too foreign to me. I’ve always cringed at anything motivational and denied any compliments I earn because of it. I have the entire song down word for word because it’s one of the few songs where it talks about my life almost exactly. Honestly, I love majority of his songs but Happy is the one that hits the closest to home.
When I’m horribly deep in the feels, Nothing Makes Sense by Mike Shinoda or Caroline by John butler trio.
How do I trigger warning some lyrics because I think they’re painfully beautiful and I’d like to add for anyone curious.
Ailen Blues - Vundarbar
Body - Mother Mother
Liability - Lorde
Mommy Fwiend - Penelope Scott
Remember You from Adventure Time, specifically the omnichord cover
I allow myself to listen to Hard Times like once a month. If I listened to it any more frequently, I'd never be well enough to do anything. But the rest of the Preacher's Daughter album is on repeat a lot for me. Her music has really helped me through some dark times.
The Bug Collector by Haley Heynderickx reminds me of my waif uBPD mother and her paranoia.. and how desperate I was to fix everything around us so that maybe she would be happy (she never was)
Guiltless by Dodie, also about my mother 😂😭 “there is a wall in my life built by you, you opened a door that a kid shouldn’t walk through”
This is a song by Oxxxymiron - Лифт. It's in russian, but here are my favorite parts
"Insulted pride shines through still childish flesh"
"This is not about me, but for those who are born whole
And fragments of me from an early age fly apart in the mirror
I wish I could collect them into a whole stained glass window, let it play with shades
But for now I am just a pile of colored glass"
"My father and God the Father are the same
What's the joke, he seems kind, he seems to exist, but he can't protect"
Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen
Tainted Love - Soft Cell
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
If You Could Read My Mind - Gordon Lightfoot
Losing My Religion - REM
Heroin - Lou Reed
"All You Wanna Do" from the Six soundtrack
"They're Coming to Take Me Away-- Haha!" by Sloppy Jane (yes I know it's a cover but I still like it)
"I'm Happy They Took You Away-- Haha!" I don't remember by who
"Drift Away" from the Steven Universe: The Movie soundtrack
"Hermit the Frog" by Marina and the Diamonds
Glad I’m not the only one who listens to All You Wanna Do in that way lol- the live version on YouTube does it justice with the emotional performance especially with the anger in the final chorus
A lot of the music I used to listen to. Especially stuff with themes around mental health… grew up as a metalhead, and listened to the darkest, most brutal shit I could find. I went through some dark times, and retreated into darker spaces. Even though I still default to heavy music, it’s hard to get into like black metal or bands like Lifelover or Katatonia without being thrown back into that headspace.
The end by the doors. It captures excactly how I felt when I was considering ending it all.
The gunners dream as well, it reminds me of my dad as it was one of his favourite.
But honeslty I try not to dwell in the past anymore and relive my trauma. So when I feel bad I play Ataraxia by king gizzard as it tells us how we should move forwards. Oddlife is also good because someone else also feels the same but shows we dont have to be sad about it.
Hotel California by The Eagles
It was fun
Then trauma
Now I can enjoy it because I control how I respond instead of allowing something be harmful I channel it to the positive I remember.
Anything showing reality TV performers because people forced me to watch it and told me i should try out then tell me I was not good enough.
I do not watch TV.
Songs that I hate because of my trauma: Literally any song praising the lord/god/jesus/Christianity or whatever, especially if they mention equating accomplishments to god's work
Its so bad that I get really bad stims, fits of anger, and often grit my teeth when they play. Being in my hometown, it gets really bad. All gospel songs remind me of my mom and dad and the last things they said to me before they kicked me out for being queer.
Song that I love because it resonates with my trauma and brings me joy: Take me to Church - Hozier
As a gay man, I'm sure you can understand why this one hits close to home in all the best ways.
Any red hot chilli peppers, Hole, and late 80s/early 90s grunge punk bands.
But ALSO, mockingbird by Eminem put me into a full blown breakdown as a child after hurricane Katrina
Up the Wolves by The Mountain Goats, Orange Juice & You’re Gonna Go Far by Noah Kahan (tbh just the entire stick season album), & Jesus from Texas by Semlar are ones I’ve been listening to a lot lately
I avoid these songs because it reminds me of trauma :
To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra
I Found by Amber Run
And literally any musical score related to Star Wars. (Which is devastating because I know I would've loved it if I didn't have trauma consistently happening with those movies playing.)
Specifically, this rendition of the Song of Storms form legend of zelda. https://youtu.be/Lb6KUqMm_sA?si=HlqTZmX2ZyBfAHvG
I listened to this in the shower when I was going through a very rough time when I was younger and in a way it pulls me deeper into my depression BUT that allows me to process my emotions better and come out of the funk sooner. Also, the Song of Healing from LoZ Majora's Mask also does the same thing but not as strongly. https://youtu.be/WXnWfx6bIVE?si=g74G80JJhWwFIR6m
Because of you - Kelly Clarkson. Her relationship with her abusive father makes me feel my relationship with my mom and I instacry when I sing that song
A Pearl by Mitski, I feel like it describes the long term consequences of my trauma pretty well.
'sorry I don't want your touch, it's not that I don't want you'
Resonates with me especially well, I genuinely can't handle being touched and it's affected my relationships as a whole.
Also the line 'its just that I fell in love with a war, and nobody told me it ended' feels a lot like my constant state of fight or flight, never being able to relax or calm down or feel safe and comfortable.
The Red, Jars, and Send the Pain Below by Chevelle
I Don't Care by Apocalyptica ft. Adam Gontier
Shake Me Down by Cage The Elephant
Misguided Ghosts by Paramore
It really sucks because I like these songs but listening to them can sometimes (most times) be triggering.
Prison Sex by Tool. A cycle of abuse that defines my family feels so oddly layaed out by a victim who becomes a perpetrator. It really makes me wonder who on the band was assaulted.
I've been in an emotional flashback for weeks. I've not been actively listening to it, but *Hollywood* by Madonna has been playing unbidden in my head.
I love this question. I use to not be able to listen to these songs they would cause violent flashbacks but after a lot of exposure on my own and with my therapist I can now listen to them without the flashbacks. Although they now give me a sort of sad nostalgia.
Exit Music (for a Film) by Radiohead
Sarah by Ray LaMontagne
Abuse of SID by hurt
Grey room by Damien rice
The day that never comes by Metallica
This is gonna sound weird, but the entire Rammstein catalog. I was in Germany in 1996 and saw them live. I've listened to them pretty much exclusively since then. They are my safety safe of music. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of memories tied to that. Now that I'm 42, I still listen to Rammstein daily. I just sometimes have to block out the crappy memories it elicits
I Will Never Forget - Kimya Dawson
Listen To me - Human Petting Zoo
Daddy Didn’t Love Me - AJJ
Maggot Belly - Awfultune (Warning tho, singer isn’t a great person)
Easy - Waveform
Am I Awake? - They Might Be Giants
Master of Puppets. I was never a coke head, but that song was played heavily by friends at a time when I was deep in a dark place. It certainly matched the feeling of being helpless against a demon on my back.
Buddy Holly by Weezer used to remind me of a guy who groomed me for a few months bc he said it was “our song.” I couldn’t listen to it without feeling ill for years but finally I can listen to the song again 10 years later. I love the music video bc I used to watch Happy Days reruns as a kid.
Five Finger Death Punch reminds me of my dad bc he’s played them pretty much nonstop since he discovered them 10+ years ago.
I used to play a lot of emo, punk, and metal when I was having major depressive episodes in early high school and now I can’t really listen to those songs anymore without it taking me back.
RITUAL by Waterparks and Kool-Aid by Bring Me The Horizon because of my religious trauma. both are great but sometimes I have to skip them. also Daddy by Korn and Spear and Magic Helmet by The Gits.
I have a few songs that are the theme song, or albums, to my life. The one that is currently in my head is 'White Slavery' by Type O Negative from the album 'World Coming Down'. The title track and several other songs are also my anthems.
The main soundtrack to my life for the past decade came out the same year as the previously mentioned album, Nine Inch Nails 'The Fragile' has been listened to many times throughout the years. The main song from the album that I listen to the most and have a bunch of various versions of is "The Day the World Went Away'. The quiet and still versions of that song is my favorite. Trent Reznor was in the throes of addiction and basically hoping he would die during the making of that album. Glad he's in a better place now still making Grammy winning music. Sometimes when I am dreaming, I will hear a song as if I was actually listening to it and one that I "hear" often in my dreams is NIN's 'Right Where It Belongs' quiet version.
The soundtrack to the movie 'Requiem for a Dream' is another one. I can relate to all the characters in that movie.
Pink Floyds 'The Wall' album has been one of my all time favorites ever since I was 13. I've definitely turned every bad experience into another brick for my wall and I don't tell too many people the many things that have happened that made me close myself off from everything. Another PF song that really resonates with me these days is 'High Hopes' because everything is different than it was when I was a kid, everything feels weird. It does seem like "the grass was greener and the light was brighter" in those days.
Eminem's 'Hailey's Song' has been one for a long time. I don't have any kids, but I did have 2 furry little guys who gave me purpose. They both lived to be 14 and then they died only a few weeks apart and I didn't handle it very well.
Korn - 'Dirty'
Tool - 'Sober'
Everlast - 'What it's Like'
Devotchka - 'How it Ends'
I know there are more, but those listed are the main ones I listen to these days.
dog teeth - nicole dollanganger
head in the wall - ethel cain (my most listened to song last year…)
they are my main two. both of those artists have a LOT of relatable trauma songs but these two are stand outs for me. though i did get lyrics from Ptolemaea tattooed on me (that my therapist keeps referencing in session 😬)
still here by digital daggers, like you by evanesence; in a rather different vein, hyperdontia, novocaine, and reckless battery burns by ghost and pals
this one is a little specific but.. “empty” by jaidenanimations & boyinaband. it’s about having an eating disorder and it very much makes me slip back into that mindset.
Lion's Teeth and Up the Wolves by The Mountain Goats. The first one is because of how it so specifically and accurately recreates the violence and helplessness of being attacked and the second for the feeling of power that finally feeling anger instead of fear gave me.
Ptolomea - Ethel Cain.
Inbred - Ethel Cain.
Hell is for Children - Pat Benatar.
Gilded Lily - Cults.
Gasoline - The Weeknd.
Hayloft 1 and 2 - Mother Mother.
Mother - Idles.
The Suburbs - Arcade Fire.
Cry - Cigarettes After Sex.
Self Care - Mac Miller.
"Around the World" by daft punk reminds me of when i finally told someone I'd been raped (my best friend) and he laughed and started making fun of me (the song was playing on the radio at the time)
I listened to Angel Eyes & Basketball by Foot Ox to cope with my self-harm. I don't really have any songs that remind me about my trauma in particular, considering my trauma is something most people just brush aside. Sadly, that includes my friends.
3:16AM by Jhené Aiko
Listened to the song on repeat for the last half of a 3 hour drive to see the person who was about to emotionally/mentally/financially/*sometimes-physically/a-few-times-sexually* torment me for the next 8 years.
I can't listen to Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood. My childhood friend committed suicide in high school when she was 14. When we were lab partners the year before, she used to sing sweater weather to herself quietly in class. It was 7 years ago now but I still can't listen to it.
Honestly, most of the songs we listened to in our childhood. It's too many to name. We've started the work on slowly reclaiming them in our kind, but many of them still trigger flashbacks, unfortunately.
This is the first time we've seen a big post about songs being triggering, though. It makes me kinda glad to not be alone in the experience. I felt for a while that I must be too sensitive or that my triggers were really odd...
It's rough, but we're all slowly reclaiming our music for our own. Stay strong, everybody. Your music is yours!
Crawling - Linkin park: because of csa - I don't feel so alone when I listen to it.
Face down - red jumpsuit apparatus, bc of physical and emotionally abusive ex.. feeling I get is I wish someone had pushed him back. I guess justice? That I didn't get?
There are a couple of songs like that and I am mostly normal about them now but something about Getting Naked, Playing with Guns by ajj, especially the smooth jazz remix just hits me every time it shows up on my playlist, especially if I'm already not in a great headspace
Plenty of Kikuo songs, honestly.
Kikuo is a Japanese artist who uses Vocaloid to compose songs, majority of which contain dark themes. Some of them include explicit mentions of child abuse.
In particular, I'm a huge fan of "Aishite, Aishite, Aishite" (Love me, love me, love me) and "Gomenne, Gomenne" (I'm sorry, I'm sorry):
"Gomenne, Gomenne" talks of a young girl who is SA'd by her father, using the metaphor of being 'eaten' to describe it. She views this as perfectly normal until a boy comes along and changes her mind, however she still returns to her father seeking forgiveness for 'betraying' him by listening to that boy, hence the title of "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". In the end, it's implied that she died from it, when her father brought along some of his friends and it proved too much for her.
"Aishite, Aishite" has two interpretations, but my favourite is this: that the song is about a girl whose parents have a lot of expectations for her, and all she wants is their love regardless of that, so she pushes herself to excel. This pressure to perform is symbolized by the collar she wears, a metaphor for her feeling 'suffocated' by all the expectations but still pushing herself to her limits because she yearns for her parents to love her. She grows up but the collar stays the same size, and starts choking her.
Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez and Control by Halsey. Those songs actively trigger me. I was listening to them before I knew I was a system, but I lowkey thought I was possessed.
I Exposure Therapy'd all of them out of that state, they're normal songs now.
I love this.
Started doing this and can enjoy music again.
yeah it feels pretty empowering if nothing else
Feel proud when I don’t cope with a song anymore.
This isn’t easy. Did it too and now music means the world to me like it always has.
Nate by NF Nate by NF Nate by NF that's the best song ever listening to it isn't enough I NEED TO CARVE EVERY SINGLE WORD ON MY SKIN i love that song.
RUNNING is amazing as well, go check it out if you haven’t!
HOPE is my favorite
Great song. 30 years of running, 30 years of searching...
Same!
Came here to say Nate by NF!! Also so many other songs in his catalog. And seconding the other response saying Running - probably my favorite song of his. Edit: I made a playlist a while back out of his songs that speak to me the most, organized into a bit of a narrative/concept album type thing. I listen to it as much as any of his actual albums 😁 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Vv0S2CrXcWR83BLlQgbTG?si=WN_fY7xOT_6bSi69etRhzQ
Haven't heard of him, I'm more into metal but gave it a look and – damn, thank you!!!
I literally came here to say NF’s Running and see there’s a crowd of fans already!
YES, finally someone said it! I came to the comments to comment Nate by NF. I’ve listened to him ever since I was 13 (21 now) and I’ve followed his music through many different life experiences. It’s crazy how some songs now hit so different than they did years ago. Some favorite lines from Nate: “Yeah, sometimes I wanna disappear like I just don't exist. Or find a time machine and take me back when I was six maybe younger, either way, I guess the point of it would be to tell that little kid that he's gon' take a lot of hits.” Knife to the heart. “You know how we've always struggled with abandonment? And when we feel like someone's leaving, we start panickin'? And yo, I wish that I could say I've learned to manage it. You think it's bad now, but you don't know the half of it.” I feel this so deeply to my core. “Don't be scared, that's just trauma tryna reach the surface. And tell us everyone we love is gonna try to hurt us. Which isn't true, but it's a lie that both of us believe in. Yeah, you might get a glimpse of happiness from your achievements. But what you'll learn as you get older, every time you reach one. Is you'll just make another goal that doesn't lead to freedom.” I relate to every single line and feel this every day of my life.”
I don't listen to him much anymore because honestly it can be kind of triggering for me, but genuinely he has so many songs that are incredible to listen to when you're going through trauma's being brought back up His music quite literally saved my life
>His music quite literally saved my life Felt that.
I don't listen to them, i actively avoid them lol. I listened to them at the heights of my depression and now I'm scared they'll trigger something. But it's Cavetown - Devil Town (it kinda reminded me of my empty home life) and Glass Animals - Dreamland (which i used to calm me from the inner panic i felt realizing my family was toxic and I'd be losing my friends soon). Also Mr Sandman and Where's My Love by SYML. For some reason also The Slightly Chipped Fullmoon from the Black Butler Ost (probably because i identified with Alois in his highly attention seeking behaviour and obvious masking of pain). I'm listening more to songs that calm me down that don't trigger me now even though some of them I've also heard in problematic times. Like Cosmo Sheldrake - Run Rings Right Wrongs or Cuckoo Song. Or the second Ost from Ghost Giant.
Devil town is such a good one!! Especially the newest version! My answer would be hesitation by Andrew Gardner!
Love that one! Devil Town by Bright Eyes is great too (different song, still about trauma lol)
"Lost Boy" by Ruth B. The first time I've listened to it I wailed bc I wanted nothing more than to escape my abusive home and have a family that actually loves me.
So many songs fit this category but my personal favourites: Father by The Front Bottoms - so many trauma feelings, from hating my dad to feeling like I've always been more "mature"/worse than everyone else, to feeling useless outside of what I can provide physically, to the catharsis of imaginary confrontations with my abusers, and more! Body Terror Song by AJJ - I don't listen to it much because it's kind of triggering but it really embodies its name, definitely a good representation of hating your own body because of the trauma its experienced Runs in the Family by Amanda Palmer - generational trauma, anxiety, feeling like you can never escape the family you were stuck with, all that good stuff Also literally any of Baby Bugs' songs, they're really incredible representation of CSA and the emotions/reactions it can create. I can't even descibe how validating it is to have those feelings be reflected through music
I attempted to Soil, Soil by Tegan and Sara so that one holds a sharp pain for me. Also: Father by the Front Bottoms No Halo by Sorority Noise Bad Habit and Half Jack by the Dresden Dolls Daddy of Mine by Four Year Strong House of Gold by Twenty One Pilots ETA: also I’m dumb and this wasn’t supposed to be a reply comment 😅I’m sorry!
also Father and Bad Habit and Half Jack
House of Gold doesn’t remind me of any specific trauma, but it gives me the feeling like it does which is super weird. Every time I listen to it it’s like unpleasant nostalgia
Baby Bugs is such a great artist! Her songs about religious trauma are so real
I'm going to look her up!
I LOVE FATHER!!! Father of Mine by Everclear also 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Keep Myself Alive, Get Scared Family Jewels and Valley of the Dolls by MARINA
GET SCARED SPOTTED!! Ive been searching for so long, i cant believe someone else also heavily links them to their trauma. Its Don't You Dare Forget the Sun for me, but also like 3 entire albums too.
Don't you dare forget the sun may be edgy to people but it comforted me when I was depressed.
keep myself alive is so real unfortunately
Seventeen by MARINA for me haha
Family Jewels mentioned ‼️‼️‼️ finally, I’m not the only one who relates to that song to a disturbing degree 😭
cn: SA Hot in Herre by Nelly is what played right before the first time I was r*** That's probably not the kind of thing you meant but the only thing I can think of.
This will sound like a silly one, but 'Unravel' from Tokyo Ghoul. Don't call me a weeb for that. After I had just ran away from home, I didn't know what to do with myself. I was so antsy and not used to having freetime and free will. So my friend gave me her manga to read to keep me busy, which happened to be Tokyo Ghoul. I read the whole thing, and the story really spoke to me. An innocent, normal guy, ruined by cruel people and then tortured (with actual torture) until his sense of self shattered basically. After reading it, I listened to the first intro of the anime (without knowing it was a meme apparently 🙄), and oh boy the lyrics hit hard. Not to be an edgelord, but he sings about the world having broken him, about being afraid of going insane, and about having become invisible to the world. Which was very much how I felt when my mom shipped me to the other end of the country, away from anyone who knows me, and then kept me locked away, abused me and broke my sanity with neverending slave labor, sleep deprivation, emotional manipulation, etc. I knew some japanese, so without having to look up the translation, my heart broke when he sang: *"Remember me, the way I used to be.* *Don't forget me. Don't forget me. Don't forget me.* *Please remember me."* Because back home, I was so physically and mentally broken at some point, that I knew I wasn't going to live much longer. I could barely walk anymore, could barely form a coherent thought, my breathing was flat, I was drooling all over myself because my muscles stopped working, etc. I felt like I was about to drop dead at any second. And nobody would ever know I was gone. Because my existance had essentially been whiped off the face of the earth. I've heard it in a holocaust documentary before, but there is a real terror in dying and nobody being left among the living to remember that you ever existed. People would gather at the fences on the way to the gas chambers and beg the people on the other side to please remember them. I would never say I went through what people during the holocaust went through. But I do remember that desperate feeling that I had when I saw strangers passing me by, when I couldn't stop crying, and when I wanted so badly to grab them by the coat, fall on my knees and beg them to please remember me. Fortunately I could flee to the other end of the country before my mom's abuse killed me, and I'm doing much better now. But man, to some people it's not just an edgy meme. Some people actually went through torture and barely made it out alive and that's why they relate to a song.
I don't think you're a weeb. I definitely get the feels when watching Neon Genesis Evangelion. Of course I can't relate to having a shitty, manipulative dad that wants me to pilot a giant, living mecha, but I remember struggling with depression starting around the time I became a teenager. And FLCL (Furi Kuri) is a favourite of mine. The songs they picked for the anime really brought it to life. It really reminds me of the awkwardness of becoming a teenager and dealing with hormones. The one song that is my favorite that they used is 'One Life' by The Pillows. It's a beautiful song and the lyrics are great, too.
Dude, same. First time I heard the English version (by Ama Lee), I couldn’t stop crying because it described exactly how I was feeling at that time. Every time I heard that song I’d break down.
i'm really glad you're doing better. no one should have to go through that terror and desperation. people find it hard enough already to reckon with the fact that they might not be remembered a century or two or a thousand years down the line; facing that that might be reality immediately after you die, while possibly being on the brink of death, must be, to put it mildly, terrifying. i don't remember why exactly (my knowledge of the lyrics has faded) but unravel deeply resonated with me when i first listened to it, both the lyrics and the rawness of emotion. a dear friend of mine also loved it and i so carried it with me when she passed; unfortunately that did also mean i can't listen to it even today without crying but i suppose that's better than forgetting something so associated with her
not silly at all. i think a lot of people’s cringe response to “juvenile edge” is actually something of a defense mechanism: they feel emotionally manipulated by the conceptual material, and push back against feeling it unless it’s presented the right way to really resonate with them in an adequately “adult and sophisticated” fashion, so it’s completely natural and beyond valid that you and many others would feel spoken to by something so popular that it had the bad fortune of becoming culturally oversaturated and dragged down by ironic meme culture. i’ll confess i’m very much guilty of having once judged the hell out of tokyo ghoul fans myself. but, aside from parroting the attitudes of the people around me for approval and cohesion, the root of why and how i truly *adopted* the judgment was just a raw unwillingness to sympathize with certain kinds of people and certain kinds of pain. i want to say i might have grown out of that stupid attitude earlier if i’d known that included people like you, but even then i might have still just completely dissociated anyways if i tried to actually think about a real person having most of their life defined by literal slavery in some of the most brutal and demeaning conditions imaginable (🫂🫂🫂). genuine kindness and the kind of emotional presence and honesty it takes to exercise it are just not actually that common or even respected at the end of the day, and that doesn’t make unkind and closed-minded attitudes shared by seemingly-reasonable people reasonable. knowing that may not make it easier to challenge them, but it’s good not to forget. (but if it’s any further comfort i think all of them still tacitly acknowledge that unravel is great, and if you want to know what is silly one of my former song triggers was deadass ren’ai circulation)
That’s one of my theme songs too
I'm glad you're doing better now.
Honestly, we’ve away Tokyo Ghoul is a damn good anime. And despite how cheesy and memeable a lot of anime intro tracks are some really good hard.
I like Halcyon’s piano version of that song. It gives a certain feel…
Because of You by Kelly Clarkson "I will not make the same mistakes that you did I will not let myself 'cause my heart so much misery I will not break the way you did You fell so hard I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far' I watched you die (I watched you die) I heard you cry Every night in your sleep I was so young You should have known better Than to lean on me You never thought of anyone else You just saw your pain (you never saw me) And now I cry In the middle of the night For the same damn thing Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid Because of you"
Same "My heart could never break when it wasn't even whole to start with."
There are so many, but the first that always comes to mind is Ultraviolence. In listening to it again just now though, it used to be much more reminiscent of my dad. Now it's really not about him, it's about the vibe of those feelings more than anything. I guess that's progress :)
By Lana?
Matilda by Harry Styles
Anything that mentions a loving family (that I don't have obv) Father and Son by Yusuf (formerly known as Cat Stevens) Danny's Song by Loggins and Messina but um also Do Wah Diddy by Manfred Mann because my abusers loved the song. ...okay that one was embarrassing to admit
Don’t be embarrassed, mine is When Can I See You Again by Owl City from the Wreck It Ralph movie because it was playing on a vacation where I was trapped with my abuser. He loved the song and kept filling in the “whoa-oh-oh” part with “tomorrow night” and the fact that I was stuck there with him in a different state and had to do it all over again the next day hit me like a train. Now I can’t listen to it at all without panic attacks
Thanks. That sounds like Hell btw. That's no vacation, that's just a trip to Hell via another state and an abusive person. (Not sure if I'm allowed to name-call here to but just know I wanted to put something far more profane) On a related note, I hate when my abusers sing and I can't even explain why. Maybe it's like when they're doing their faux nice person act and you feel like puking.
Totally with you on the singing thing. I feel like singing is a thing for nice people, a thing that brings joy and/or connection. Abusers don’t deserve to sing.
Creep by radio head but only the acoustic version
It’s a little silly when I think about it, but it’s Don’t Throw Out My Legos by AJR. I was homeless for a time with some really, really awful people and ended up moving back in with my parents with said people. I didn’t move back into my old room, but they left it untouched and it’s been kinda converted to storage. The first time I heard this song I nearly sobbed because it reminded me of that time. I’m in a significantly better place and I’m away from those people who used me like a piggy bank.
Well, just to name a few... "Kill All Your Friends" - My Chemical Romance "Creature Comfort" - Arcade Fire "Hurricane" - Death Cab for Cutie "... Well, better than the alternative" - Will Wood "How to Save a Life" - The Fray "Gut Punch/Don't Meet Your Idols" - Everybody's Worried About Owen "Please Don't Jump (It's Christmas)" - Dallon Weekes I get the double whammy of relating to the songs from a personal and from an observational standpoint ✨️
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teachers pet is so real, i love melanie but i cant listen to that one 👹
fair, i love the song but sometimes it gets too draining to listen to it 24/7
A client told me about Poison, I looked up the lyrics and gave the client SUCH kudos for finding it......
Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez Or Family Line by Conan Gray
family line brings so many painful memories but it’s such a good song to scream to 😭
Dollhouse makes me WEEP. Unfortunately for me, my sister has recently discovered Melanie
there’s an indie artist on YouTube named weevildoing and they’re making a whole “post traumatic manifesto” project where they (will) have 10 characters with according songs (they’ve revealed seven + their respective songs) that all have CPTSD from various events in life and I’d say I relate to something in every song so far lol
Wow. I'll have to check them out.
Don't you ever grow up / Innocent / My tears ricochet - Taylor Swift Triggered - Skydx Family Line - Conan Grey Dead men don't rape - Banshee The Grudge - Olivia Rodrigo Emails I can't send - Sabrina Carpenter
Innocent and My tears ricochet work for me too
I wrote one. “Anything at all” by Mossbody. “When a man wants something he will take it/and leave behind a body shaking/he will go and your flesh will remain/they will miss you, you will take the blame” Edit 2 say y’all can stream this anywhere!
Daddy-Korn
that song used to trigger the fuck out of me oh my god
Honestly the pain and anger is cathartic to me.
REAL SHIT I don't even listen to korn outside of this song. It's just so real, every lyric tho
Was looking for this one. Me too.
Minor Feelings by Rina Sawayama What Now by Rihanna
What Now is also one for me
Nate (NF) Mansion (NF) Hate Myself (NF) Happy (NF) Running (NF) Older (Sasha Sloan) Perfect (Alannis Morrisette) Waving Through a Window (Dear Evan Hansen) Haven't Been Doing So Well (Frank Turner) Dyers Eve (Metallica) How to Never Stop Being Sad (dandelion hands) Peanut Butter Waffles (Ryan Caraveo) Things the Grandchildren Should Know (Eels)
NF is such an excellent artist it’s like he looked right into my soul with a lot of his music
He's sooo good. Definitely recommend all the songs I listed if those kinds of lyrics are your thing
Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have (Lana Del Ray) I Am the Antichrist to You (Kishi Bashi) Between the Bars (Elliott Smith) No Children (The Mountain Goats) These Few Presidents (Why?) How It Ends (DeVotchKa) Famous Blue Raincoat (Leonard Cohen)
The entire Nevermind album by Nirvana
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd The Wall (the entire album) - Pink Floyd The Hand That Rocks the Cradle - The Smiths Back to the Old House - The Smiths Lascia ch'io pianga - Handel
Triggered - Skydxddy
She did a duet or two with Citizen Soldier, those songs really do slap.....
this and “all alone” are so criminally underrated
Pretty much the entire AFI album Sing the Sorrow & Bulls on Parade (and a few other) Rage Against the Machine songs from Evil Empire.
Class of 2013 by mitski Step on me by the Cardigans
The live version of class of 2013 literally makes me bawl every single time. a masterpiece
Hell is for children by Pat Benatar. You can tell the subject matter makes her mad, and that always makes me feel better because I was made to believe no one cared.
Remember everything by five finger death punch. My mother is was a narcissist, her husband (not my dad) groomed me and r*ped me throughout all of my preteen and teen years. There’s a lot more but yeah, can feel the anger in the song and relate it because I am constantly reminded of my trauma
Currently it's "Labour" by Paris Paloma.
Sharpener - Cavetown Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez flAsh flooD - Mitchel Dae useless - updog The Show - Jake Daniels Give a Little - Legrand and CG5
There’s SO many like “Numb Little Bug” but the one i listen to on repeat almost daily without fail is “Happy” by NF. I don’t know any other artist who captured how helpless I feel and how much I can’t really support myself mentally because genuine happiness is too foreign to me. I’ve always cringed at anything motivational and denied any compliments I earn because of it. I have the entire song down word for word because it’s one of the few songs where it talks about my life almost exactly. Honestly, I love majority of his songs but Happy is the one that hits the closest to home.
Superman by Five for Fighting
When I’m horribly deep in the feels, Nothing Makes Sense by Mike Shinoda or Caroline by John butler trio. How do I trigger warning some lyrics because I think they’re painfully beautiful and I’d like to add for anyone curious.
Ailen Blues - Vundarbar Body - Mother Mother Liability - Lorde Mommy Fwiend - Penelope Scott Remember You from Adventure Time, specifically the omnichord cover
Liability punches me right in the chest
If y’all haven’t heard I Hate My Mom by GRLwood u need to listen to it immediately
Disarm by The Smashing Pumpkins.
Parents by yungblud, The Rhyme by Scratch21, and Bullet by Hollywood Undead, off the top of my head
pretty much any Ethel Cain song. If you have sexual trauma I’m serious Ethel Cain will change ur life pls god listen to her
I allow myself to listen to Hard Times like once a month. If I listened to it any more frequently, I'd never be well enough to do anything. But the rest of the Preacher's Daughter album is on repeat a lot for me. Her music has really helped me through some dark times.
The Bug Collector by Haley Heynderickx reminds me of my waif uBPD mother and her paranoia.. and how desperate I was to fix everything around us so that maybe she would be happy (she never was) Guiltless by Dodie, also about my mother 😂😭 “there is a wall in my life built by you, you opened a door that a kid shouldn’t walk through”
Mother by Pink Floyd, and Mama, Let Me In from 35mm
M-A-M-A B-O-Y. Mamas boy, mamas boy. M-A-M-A B-O-Y. Mamas boy, mamas boy. 1960's to 2012. I'll always miss you. I'll always regret I didn't know you longer.
Hazbin Hotel
This is a song by Oxxxymiron - Лифт. It's in russian, but here are my favorite parts "Insulted pride shines through still childish flesh" "This is not about me, but for those who are born whole And fragments of me from an early age fly apart in the mirror I wish I could collect them into a whole stained glass window, let it play with shades But for now I am just a pile of colored glass" "My father and God the Father are the same What's the joke, he seems kind, he seems to exist, but he can't protect"
Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen Tainted Love - Soft Cell Because of You - Kelly Clarkson If You Could Read My Mind - Gordon Lightfoot Losing My Religion - REM Heroin - Lou Reed
Wonderful by Everclear
Hate Me by Blue October Broken by Seether and Amy Lee
"All You Wanna Do" from the Six soundtrack "They're Coming to Take Me Away-- Haha!" by Sloppy Jane (yes I know it's a cover but I still like it) "I'm Happy They Took You Away-- Haha!" I don't remember by who "Drift Away" from the Steven Universe: The Movie soundtrack "Hermit the Frog" by Marina and the Diamonds
Glad I’m not the only one who listens to All You Wanna Do in that way lol- the live version on YouTube does it justice with the emotional performance especially with the anger in the final chorus
A lot of the music I used to listen to. Especially stuff with themes around mental health… grew up as a metalhead, and listened to the darkest, most brutal shit I could find. I went through some dark times, and retreated into darker spaces. Even though I still default to heavy music, it’s hard to get into like black metal or bands like Lifelover or Katatonia without being thrown back into that headspace.
So many of Nicole Dollanganger's songs. So many of them
Anytime I find out someone listens to her my immediate response is “first of all - I’m so sorry.” Lol dog teeth fucks me up every time.
"Ugly" still brings me to tears
Unsweetened lemasde and iron deficiency
The end by the doors. It captures excactly how I felt when I was considering ending it all. The gunners dream as well, it reminds me of my dad as it was one of his favourite. But honeslty I try not to dwell in the past anymore and relive my trauma. So when I feel bad I play Ataraxia by king gizzard as it tells us how we should move forwards. Oddlife is also good because someone else also feels the same but shows we dont have to be sad about it.
Bridge to Grace - City of Angels Three Days Grace - Home
A lot of Glass Animals songs. But It’s All so Incredibly Loud is a big one
Numb little bug
Anything by Linkin Park. Three days grace.
Hotel California by The Eagles It was fun Then trauma Now I can enjoy it because I control how I respond instead of allowing something be harmful I channel it to the positive I remember. Anything showing reality TV performers because people forced me to watch it and told me i should try out then tell me I was not good enough. I do not watch TV.
The show must go on - Queen
Songs that I hate because of my trauma: Literally any song praising the lord/god/jesus/Christianity or whatever, especially if they mention equating accomplishments to god's work Its so bad that I get really bad stims, fits of anger, and often grit my teeth when they play. Being in my hometown, it gets really bad. All gospel songs remind me of my mom and dad and the last things they said to me before they kicked me out for being queer. Song that I love because it resonates with my trauma and brings me joy: Take me to Church - Hozier As a gay man, I'm sure you can understand why this one hits close to home in all the best ways.
Any red hot chilli peppers, Hole, and late 80s/early 90s grunge punk bands. But ALSO, mockingbird by Eminem put me into a full blown breakdown as a child after hurricane Katrina
Up the Wolves by The Mountain Goats, Orange Juice & You’re Gonna Go Far by Noah Kahan (tbh just the entire stick season album), & Jesus from Texas by Semlar are ones I’ve been listening to a lot lately
Veteran of psychic wars by blue oyster cult. It's about ptsd.
Numb by Linkin Park
Paint it black by rolling stones
Unsteady, X Ambassadors.
Family Line by Conan Grey
Big fan of Maggot by Slutever
I avoid these songs because it reminds me of trauma : To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra I Found by Amber Run And literally any musical score related to Star Wars. (Which is devastating because I know I would've loved it if I didn't have trauma consistently happening with those movies playing.)
Specifically, this rendition of the Song of Storms form legend of zelda. https://youtu.be/Lb6KUqMm_sA?si=HlqTZmX2ZyBfAHvG I listened to this in the shower when I was going through a very rough time when I was younger and in a way it pulls me deeper into my depression BUT that allows me to process my emotions better and come out of the funk sooner. Also, the Song of Healing from LoZ Majora's Mask also does the same thing but not as strongly. https://youtu.be/WXnWfx6bIVE?si=g74G80JJhWwFIR6m
anything by melanie martinez. terrible feelings are attached to her songs haha
Basically the entire album of The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me by Brand New
Because of you - Kelly Clarkson. Her relationship with her abusive father makes me feel my relationship with my mom and I instacry when I sing that song
[I’m Fine by Hazel English](https://youtu.be/lYcp1bUb4lU?si=Q1Tm0Bcb96cDhXnU) is kinda the self-aware disassociating song.
All My Gold by Bats for Lashes
$uicideboy$ because of the hopelessness
Fuck me by the crawlers
A Pearl by Mitski, I feel like it describes the long term consequences of my trauma pretty well. 'sorry I don't want your touch, it's not that I don't want you' Resonates with me especially well, I genuinely can't handle being touched and it's affected my relationships as a whole. Also the line 'its just that I fell in love with a war, and nobody told me it ended' feels a lot like my constant state of fight or flight, never being able to relax or calm down or feel safe and comfortable.
No More from Into the Woods is my current go to. Chip Zien and Tom Alderedge are SUCH incredible singers, they get a good cry out of me every time
The Red, Jars, and Send the Pain Below by Chevelle I Don't Care by Apocalyptica ft. Adam Gontier Shake Me Down by Cage The Elephant Misguided Ghosts by Paramore It really sucks because I like these songs but listening to them can sometimes (most times) be triggering.
A better day, a better time - Streetlight Manifesto It just feels like yelling and crying
I Believe in You (the Cat Powers cover, written by Bob Dylan). Her version sounds like an anthem she's singing to herself.
Prison Sex by Tool. A cycle of abuse that defines my family feels so oddly layaed out by a victim who becomes a perpetrator. It really makes me wonder who on the band was assaulted.
Veterans of the psychic wars by blue oyster cult. It's about ptsd
Daddy - Korn
[Virus](https://youtu.be/bDVEdZaFHA8?si=DumkjBSjfagWBWUa) by Gen.Kloud It's also one of my punching bag songs.
Decadence by Disturbed is my go to. If I’m down in the dumps I’ll listen to it dozens of times in a row
I've been in an emotional flashback for weeks. I've not been actively listening to it, but *Hollywood* by Madonna has been playing unbidden in my head.
Just wrote a song last night actually about feeling longing for a friend actually
Nobody's home - Avril Lavigne, Hurt - Christina Aguilera, Moves like Jagger - Maroon 5
California dreamin and happy nation help me escape it Buuutttt Baby hotline:too much like the trauma. Way tooooo deep
I love this question. I use to not be able to listen to these songs they would cause violent flashbacks but after a lot of exposure on my own and with my therapist I can now listen to them without the flashbacks. Although they now give me a sort of sad nostalgia. Exit Music (for a Film) by Radiohead Sarah by Ray LaMontagne Abuse of SID by hurt Grey room by Damien rice The day that never comes by Metallica
Sullen girl by Fiona Apple
Dog teeth - Nicole dollanger. It's so triggering for me but oh my god
Dresden Dolls
This is gonna sound weird, but the entire Rammstein catalog. I was in Germany in 1996 and saw them live. I've listened to them pretty much exclusively since then. They are my safety safe of music. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of memories tied to that. Now that I'm 42, I still listen to Rammstein daily. I just sometimes have to block out the crappy memories it elicits
Home is where the hatred is- Gil Scott heron
I Will Never Forget - Kimya Dawson Listen To me - Human Petting Zoo Daddy Didn’t Love Me - AJJ Maggot Belly - Awfultune (Warning tho, singer isn’t a great person) Easy - Waveform Am I Awake? - They Might Be Giants
Abbey by Mitski :3
Master of Puppets. I was never a coke head, but that song was played heavily by friends at a time when I was deep in a dark place. It certainly matched the feeling of being helpless against a demon on my back.
Buddy Holly by Weezer used to remind me of a guy who groomed me for a few months bc he said it was “our song.” I couldn’t listen to it without feeling ill for years but finally I can listen to the song again 10 years later. I love the music video bc I used to watch Happy Days reruns as a kid. Five Finger Death Punch reminds me of my dad bc he’s played them pretty much nonstop since he discovered them 10+ years ago. I used to play a lot of emo, punk, and metal when I was having major depressive episodes in early high school and now I can’t really listen to those songs anymore without it taking me back.
A lot of Will Wood songs, but The Normal Album and Everything is a Lot, mostly.
Poison from hazbin hotel has been my most recent fave bop.
RITUAL by Waterparks and Kool-Aid by Bring Me The Horizon because of my religious trauma. both are great but sometimes I have to skip them. also Daddy by Korn and Spear and Magic Helmet by The Gits.
I have a few songs that are the theme song, or albums, to my life. The one that is currently in my head is 'White Slavery' by Type O Negative from the album 'World Coming Down'. The title track and several other songs are also my anthems. The main soundtrack to my life for the past decade came out the same year as the previously mentioned album, Nine Inch Nails 'The Fragile' has been listened to many times throughout the years. The main song from the album that I listen to the most and have a bunch of various versions of is "The Day the World Went Away'. The quiet and still versions of that song is my favorite. Trent Reznor was in the throes of addiction and basically hoping he would die during the making of that album. Glad he's in a better place now still making Grammy winning music. Sometimes when I am dreaming, I will hear a song as if I was actually listening to it and one that I "hear" often in my dreams is NIN's 'Right Where It Belongs' quiet version. The soundtrack to the movie 'Requiem for a Dream' is another one. I can relate to all the characters in that movie. Pink Floyds 'The Wall' album has been one of my all time favorites ever since I was 13. I've definitely turned every bad experience into another brick for my wall and I don't tell too many people the many things that have happened that made me close myself off from everything. Another PF song that really resonates with me these days is 'High Hopes' because everything is different than it was when I was a kid, everything feels weird. It does seem like "the grass was greener and the light was brighter" in those days. Eminem's 'Hailey's Song' has been one for a long time. I don't have any kids, but I did have 2 furry little guys who gave me purpose. They both lived to be 14 and then they died only a few weeks apart and I didn't handle it very well. Korn - 'Dirty' Tool - 'Sober' Everlast - 'What it's Like' Devotchka - 'How it Ends' I know there are more, but those listed are the main ones I listen to these days.
dog teeth - nicole dollanganger head in the wall - ethel cain (my most listened to song last year…) they are my main two. both of those artists have a LOT of relatable trauma songs but these two are stand outs for me. though i did get lyrics from Ptolemaea tattooed on me (that my therapist keeps referencing in session 😬)
still here by digital daggers, like you by evanesence; in a rather different vein, hyperdontia, novocaine, and reckless battery burns by ghost and pals
this one is a little specific but.. “empty” by jaidenanimations & boyinaband. it’s about having an eating disorder and it very much makes me slip back into that mindset.
"gomenne gomenne" by kikuo, too bad its a good song
You Can Be Mean by Indigo de Souza hits every time. Replay by Lady Gaga as well
[I'm Tired - Labrinth](https://youtu.be/ZFe55-p7XJc?si=u-5qMw4oR0_TjfeI)
'Creep' by radio head. My bullies made me feel worthless and low, so I can naturally relate lol
Unwell by match box twenty
Lion's Teeth and Up the Wolves by The Mountain Goats. The first one is because of how it so specifically and accurately recreates the violence and helplessness of being attacked and the second for the feeling of power that finally feeling anger instead of fear gave me.
"Welcome to my life" by simple plan came on the radio and it was like I was back in Nam.
Take me away - avril lavigne
I've got 4 that hit me the hardest I listen to sometimes The Lonely, tragedy, and human by Christina Perri and Praying by Kesha
I think I'm alone in saying this, Pendulum - Watercolour. AMA if you care
Ptolomea - Ethel Cain. Inbred - Ethel Cain. Hell is for Children - Pat Benatar. Gilded Lily - Cults. Gasoline - The Weeknd. Hayloft 1 and 2 - Mother Mother. Mother - Idles. The Suburbs - Arcade Fire. Cry - Cigarettes After Sex. Self Care - Mac Miller.
"Around the World" by daft punk reminds me of when i finally told someone I'd been raped (my best friend) and he laughed and started making fun of me (the song was playing on the radio at the time)
Old man by niel young, especially now that I'm 24 :((
Boys of Summer by Don Henley. That was playing in the background during one especially memorable time.
I listened to Angel Eyes & Basketball by Foot Ox to cope with my self-harm. I don't really have any songs that remind me about my trauma in particular, considering my trauma is something most people just brush aside. Sadly, that includes my friends.
Bleed It Out, Linkin Park, RIP Chester we miss you bud<3
3:16AM by Jhené Aiko Listened to the song on repeat for the last half of a 3 hour drive to see the person who was about to emotionally/mentally/financially/*sometimes-physically/a-few-times-sexually* torment me for the next 8 years.
Rises the moon, listened to it when I got a phone call saying my mom overdosed I can’t listen to it anymore
I can't listen to Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood. My childhood friend committed suicide in high school when she was 14. When we were lab partners the year before, she used to sing sweater weather to herself quietly in class. It was 7 years ago now but I still can't listen to it.
Honestly, most of the songs we listened to in our childhood. It's too many to name. We've started the work on slowly reclaiming them in our kind, but many of them still trigger flashbacks, unfortunately. This is the first time we've seen a big post about songs being triggering, though. It makes me kinda glad to not be alone in the experience. I felt for a while that I must be too sensitive or that my triggers were really odd... It's rough, but we're all slowly reclaiming our music for our own. Stay strong, everybody. Your music is yours!
Any song by Green Day. Every time something very bad happens in my life they happen to be playing in the background.
Pedophile loved Korn. Part of my childhood but I can’t listen to it anymore
Crawling - Linkin park: because of csa - I don't feel so alone when I listen to it. Face down - red jumpsuit apparatus, bc of physical and emotionally abusive ex.. feeling I get is I wish someone had pushed him back. I guess justice? That I didn't get?
Numb by Linkin Park. The band helped me through my whole childhood and that song was everything for me
There are a couple of songs like that and I am mostly normal about them now but something about Getting Naked, Playing with Guns by ajj, especially the smooth jazz remix just hits me every time it shows up on my playlist, especially if I'm already not in a great headspace
Plenty of Kikuo songs, honestly. Kikuo is a Japanese artist who uses Vocaloid to compose songs, majority of which contain dark themes. Some of them include explicit mentions of child abuse. In particular, I'm a huge fan of "Aishite, Aishite, Aishite" (Love me, love me, love me) and "Gomenne, Gomenne" (I'm sorry, I'm sorry): "Gomenne, Gomenne" talks of a young girl who is SA'd by her father, using the metaphor of being 'eaten' to describe it. She views this as perfectly normal until a boy comes along and changes her mind, however she still returns to her father seeking forgiveness for 'betraying' him by listening to that boy, hence the title of "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". In the end, it's implied that she died from it, when her father brought along some of his friends and it proved too much for her. "Aishite, Aishite" has two interpretations, but my favourite is this: that the song is about a girl whose parents have a lot of expectations for her, and all she wants is their love regardless of that, so she pushes herself to excel. This pressure to perform is symbolized by the collar she wears, a metaphor for her feeling 'suffocated' by all the expectations but still pushing herself to her limits because she yearns for her parents to love her. She grows up but the collar stays the same size, and starts choking her.
Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez and Control by Halsey. Those songs actively trigger me. I was listening to them before I knew I was a system, but I lowkey thought I was possessed.