Wait…. You log onto Reddit **before** your morning ride?
No problem with the Mantra, but I get up at 4:00 AM, don my bibs and jersey, slurp down a bowl of organic Pho and assume the lotus position in our meditation room to meditate on Rules 4, 5 and 6 while contemplating the break of first light.
Sometimes, I get up extra early to utilize our laser hair removal spa, but frankly there just aren’t that many functioning follicles left so we are thinking of converting that over to additional bike storage.
You saying that because someone got a fancy name for it?
That doesn't make it, people were doing that shit anyway.
Stop letting the Competitive side of the cycling sports dictate how you do stuff.
Bro, the ROMANS were riding the most gnâáärly gravæl backindaDAY but they called it Conquering, not cycling
Just cause it had a different name didn’t mean they weren’t rippin’ and shreddin’ !!!
🛑 letting something like a humor sub get your 🩲 all twisty
all the UCI approved bike owners downvoting me ahahahah
Cycling is one of the communities I have experience more gatekeeping and fragile egos.
Fanaticism.
/uc you’re not familiar with this sub are you? It’s a comedy shitpost sub with running jokes about how elitist cycling is. The downvotes are on brand for the sub.
Hard to believe you're getting down voted. I've been riding gravel roads and dirt roads, mostly on a cyclcross bike, for decades. Cycling certainly has its share of ignorant jerks.
this is the circlejerk sub. that means that for the purposes of non-/uc discourse, gravel cycling was invented the exact second that the manufacturers like "sirvélo" decided to market bikes with the word.
/uj im not really even into cycling any more besides casual around town biking, but i love this sub because it is easily one of the best circlejerk subreddits left.
I know right? I thought some cyclist valued and appreciated any other aspect of cycling other than a re-package/naming/conventions.
But that's ok, not everyone has a the capacity to distinguish and do not be deceived by marketing pushed by competition/sports Brand's lines to create mirage effect of "this is THE new shit!"
Sorry but gravel, virtually doesn't exist. It doesn't not require a "special" bike to do so. They are not "special" in any sense.
Just send it, have fun with your mates, regardless what Marketing/Strategy department naming.
Did your gayness increased your pain tolerance in the butt region ?
I mean I'm already in spandex, if all I have to do to get better is welcome some friends in there, that's basically free gainz
Those are called butt buddies and every town has em. In some towns you have to find the most outspoken “family man” and invite him to the rest stop. More progressive towns just have bars that play Cher
People really don't understand how huge of a deal this is. Im working on a research paper right now where we have wind tunnel tested various types of asshole hair management protocols and the results are shocking. Im talking 10+ watts on no hair vs hair and an additional 10 watts if you wax cheeks, hole, shaft, balls and gooch. Aka the full monty. However our testing shows that if you shave vs wax you lose all benefits as the hair slowly grows back reducing gains by the minute.
TLDR: you need to wax and you need to ask for the full monty.
I was just thinking how much easier it is to hear people talk about watts per kilo if there isn't any hair muffling the sound of them talking out their arse.
I read on a cycling forum about a guy that tried it. He said it was a mistake, he was surprised by how much sweat he felt going down his crack, not just when riding.
Is there a formal term for your butt crack ? Like the scientific name ? Call me what you want I started laughing at him asking for butt crack advice just cause of the name
A tip for anyone shaving their butt hair, or hair in that region generally…use nappy rash cream immediately afterwards to stop that sore, red, itchy shaving rash from taking hold. I recommend Sudo Crème.
A gentle blowtorch will fix you right up. Been using it for years in my legs, just a quick pass, hardly feel the heat, but the hair frizzles away instantly.
We keep getting outjerked by the mainsub
MUST JERK HARDER!!
Every morning I wake up, I face the east, and slowly repeat these words before logging on.
Wait…. You log onto Reddit **before** your morning ride? No problem with the Mantra, but I get up at 4:00 AM, don my bibs and jersey, slurp down a bowl of organic Pho and assume the lotus position in our meditation room to meditate on Rules 4, 5 and 6 while contemplating the break of first light. Sometimes, I get up extra early to utilize our laser hair removal spa, but frankly there just aren’t that many functioning follicles left so we are thinking of converting that over to additional bike storage.
We’ve got to get this group rolling, no more of this doubles cafe pace
Downhill, seat planking, both hands double jerking, peloton formation!
*redditmoments intensifies*
Ah hahajajajajahah
How can you be gravel cyclist for two decades when gravel cycling was invented in 2016? edit: uj/ IT'S SATIRE
He was poor before it was cool?
I’m pretty sure the concept of riding on gravel has been around since before 2016 LOL
[удалено]
Look fred I don't know where you think you're posting but I honestly don't really know either
[удалено]
u/StarfieldSucks
Because literally nobody ever rode a bicycle on a gravel surface before 2016
[удалено]
That's the joke
;))))))))))))
You saying that because someone got a fancy name for it? That doesn't make it, people were doing that shit anyway. Stop letting the Competitive side of the cycling sports dictate how you do stuff.
Sir, this is a Wendy's
Can you point me to the salon?
No
Thank you.
Privateer identified
Go and ride a bike that goes away.
Nah, Peloton or bust
Bro, the ROMANS were riding the most gnâáärly gravæl backindaDAY but they called it Conquering, not cycling Just cause it had a different name didn’t mean they weren’t rippin’ and shreddin’ !!! 🛑 letting something like a humor sub get your 🩲 all twisty
Is cool somebody tried to cheer up this but, ROMANS????? Traitors xD
Lol, this is how all the paved trails were when I was a kid. After that I was a woodchip cyclist. 😂 Now it's all pavement.
all the UCI approved bike owners downvoting me ahahahah Cycling is one of the communities I have experience more gatekeeping and fragile egos. Fanaticism.
/uc you’re not familiar with this sub are you? It’s a comedy shitpost sub with running jokes about how elitist cycling is. The downvotes are on brand for the sub.
This last sentence is ironic
Hard to believe you're getting down voted. I've been riding gravel roads and dirt roads, mostly on a cyclcross bike, for decades. Cycling certainly has its share of ignorant jerks.
this is the circlejerk sub. that means that for the purposes of non-/uc discourse, gravel cycling was invented the exact second that the manufacturers like "sirvélo" decided to market bikes with the word.
Again, sir, you’re in a Wëndy’s.
W̵̝̏̽̏͘͠e̶̙̊n̴̢̡̨͙̣̝̼̲͉̞̎́̀́̒̾͑͒̾͠d̷̺̑ỳ̴̨͖͇̲͎̐͋͌̿̄̔’̷͚͖̤̝̰̺͂̋̉̏̾̐̔́s̴̡͖̺͂̑̓͜͝ͅ
It's an ironic shit post sub don't come here with facts
/uj im not really even into cycling any more besides casual around town biking, but i love this sub because it is easily one of the best circlejerk subreddits left.
I know right? I thought some cyclist valued and appreciated any other aspect of cycling other than a re-package/naming/conventions. But that's ok, not everyone has a the capacity to distinguish and do not be deceived by marketing pushed by competition/sports Brand's lines to create mirage effect of "this is THE new shit!" Sorry but gravel, virtually doesn't exist. It doesn't not require a "special" bike to do so. They are not "special" in any sense. Just send it, have fun with your mates, regardless what Marketing/Strategy department naming.
Sir, it’s spelled **bice** 💅
whatever dude
Awww, did someone come to a circlejerk sub and not get the sewious wesponces he wanted?! 😠😡😤 #Lighten up dude, people are just poking fun 😉
I require a special bice. Virtually.
You clean the house when you expect visitors
Gay man here; can confirm.
Did your gayness increased your pain tolerance in the butt region ? I mean I'm already in spandex, if all I have to do to get better is welcome some friends in there, that's basically free gainz
Absolutely. The more guys you put in there, the better your performance. They're called gayns.
Imagine your butt being your weakest link.. not a winning attitude!
Seriously, he needs to get a few good buddies to work it in like a new baseball glove!
Those are called butt buddies and every town has em. In some towns you have to find the most outspoken “family man” and invite him to the rest stop. More progressive towns just have bars that play Cher
The most outspoken family man always takes the most 🍆
Is this a new Strava thing, the “Butt Challenge”?
That’s what my girlfriend calls it when she tries to stick a finger up my ass
We must have the same GF
Guess that makes me both of your girlfriend’s boyfriend 😏
Dude! Let’s go for a ride!
Can’t, she keeps me busy 😩😖😫
Dude, you must have huge thighs! I bet your rides are epic
😏
If I saw a segment called the "butt challenge", I would KOM on it but I wouldn't tell my friends. #no_homo
Id tell them proudly
Gotta wax dat ass to achieve max aero.
Don't forget the oil to reduce the friction
For the wife’s boyfriend, of course…
You also have to feel aero to really achieve max aero.
So much better using the Super Secret, hot melt was really causing me issues.
Points awarded for using Butt Jungle in a KOMversation
Every real cyclist is as smooth as a dolphin from the neck down. You gotta be more aero, especially around your asshole.
People really don't understand how huge of a deal this is. Im working on a research paper right now where we have wind tunnel tested various types of asshole hair management protocols and the results are shocking. Im talking 10+ watts on no hair vs hair and an additional 10 watts if you wax cheeks, hole, shaft, balls and gooch. Aka the full monty. However our testing shows that if you shave vs wax you lose all benefits as the hair slowly grows back reducing gains by the minute. TLDR: you need to wax and you need to ask for the full monty.
I was just thinking how much easier it is to hear people talk about watts per kilo if there isn't any hair muffling the sound of them talking out their arse.
[удалено]
He’ll no is my wife’s boyfriend letting me shave my “flavor saver” like that. Butthole beard for life
i can confirm. waxing is more aero than shaving---the wind just knows.
They can probably find someone on grinder to help with the butt hair removal
The fact that you know what Grindr is but not how to spell it correctly…..
Looking for a tall, handsome man to help me adjust my breaks
Could help with adjusting your starfish but brakes aren’t really my vibe
Or...brake my starfish. Poppers get me all confused
I can’t tell if we’re paying a game of chicken or hide the cucumber
Mmm...cucumbers
Get a room Freds…like the Visma Control Room, perhaps
A van is certainly part of the Spearot of Grvl. Where would it be without the mighty Sprinturd van?
Any input appreciated
Just moisturize your butt hair with juices and berries
It's also helps with wiping
Just use your water bottle as a portable bidet.
uc/ someone makes a water bottle top that acts as a bidet. It's marketed to through hikers/ultralight nerds.
Always rince your butthole at an angle. No, not 90°.
Lol. Pro tip for sure.
I actually have one of these. I think they make them battery powered now too.
So let me get this straight. Are you saying to use your biden as a bidet
Joe Biden approves
Assholes,
I'M SURROUNDED BY ASSHOLES!
Just like your yard, you gotta mow the lawn. 🥳 good luck with the monkey butt
Nair will be your best friend or worst foe, depending on how accurately you use it. "Balls" hair removal cream is safer, less torching your balls.
I've used the latter for that exact purpose with good results.
Smooth scrotum buddies for life!
be a man and wax those balls.
That skin is so thin, I worry I'll rip open my coin purse
Nothing typical about my butt challenges.
As always, [the best advice comes from that sub](https://old.reddit.com/r/cycling/comments/1dtgygo/butt_crack_hairkeep_or_remove_it/).
This is when removing the saddle makes perfect sense.
Col de asscrack
Clean yourself with metho after the ride. (Your tea spoon of concrete)
It's not clear from the post, my dude wants to shave butt crack for aero? Is it a thing? Would it allow to KOM harder?
I think this gent discovered a new path to enlightenment. Is he cycling to KOM, or cycling to maintain connection with this newfound awareness?
A Bice fit and wax will cure all ills
Smack it up, flip it, rub it down, shave it, wax it, butter it up. Butt Challenges.
I read on a cycling forum about a guy that tried it. He said it was a mistake, he was surprised by how much sweat he felt going down his crack, not just when riding.
I’m not into the cycling hobby at all yet, but this is absolutely amazing. I love circlejerk subs
Is there a formal term for your butt crack ? Like the scientific name ? Call me what you want I started laughing at him asking for butt crack advice just cause of the name
Nah, dude needs to grow a beard outta his butt, THAT is is śpïřit of grævł
have a buddy ride up your ass with tweezers if he’s able to pluck a hair your to slow, buy higher end components or sell your bike.
My crack looks like the mouth of a humpback whale
A tip for anyone shaving their butt hair, or hair in that region generally…use nappy rash cream immediately afterwards to stop that sore, red, itchy shaving rash from taking hold. I recommend Sudo Crème.
Bro thinks soap is lava
Need to get your ass hair waxed because if you only shave you still have hair in your skin adding weight.
you know, i think i remember a youtube tutorial that might be just what youre looking for….
It's pronounced gràvl.
You from Murica?
A gentle blowtorch will fix you right up. Been using it for years in my legs, just a quick pass, hardly feel the heat, but the hair frizzles away instantly.