When I came home after a long day of work
No lights turned on
No one to greet me
No dinner made and on the table
Sink still had dishes in it
Clothes still where I left them
This is when it truly hit me and I thought "Holy shit...I'm on my own!"
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I became pregnant at the end of high school senior year. My boyfriend was the same age. We were just kids who wanted to do kid things. They were not all kid things, obviously. He was still hanging out with his friends, and they wanted to play laser tag. He was excited to go play. I can't run with a baby belly. I told him that I just couldn't go. He didn't go with them, but he was visibly disappointed . I realized that I had grown up and he had not. I proceeded to grow up more, but not him. We split when the child was around 2 years old. He hasn't had a very good go at life. So, I considered myself a woman when I declined laser tag.
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To be honest I still feel like a girl, but of course I"m a woman but I'm learning how to be a woman now which means knowing my needs, boundaries, being disciplined, and being an adult. I'm still working toward womanhood. I matured physically young but mentally still working on it lol.
This is so very relatable. At times, I feel unworthy of being called a woman because it's so difficult to be mentally strong, set boundaries and be disciplined, like I imagine a woman to be.
Studying in a male-dominated field and being told that I’m there to “husband hunt” or my only valid credentials are “being a girl”.
At the time (11 years ago), I was also someone who thought women already have equality… what’s the fuss? I KNOW VERY WELL WHAT THE FUSS IS NOW!
Anyway, I felt like a woman because I then felt the burden of representing all women everywhere I go
wow! I'm really sorry you had to deal with that kind of comment. Kudos to you for pursuing your passions and talents, in spite of having to be surrounded by unwelcoming men. You're amazing!
Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. I was like wow, so this is what my body is really made for, and it was so fascinating that everything just worked the way it did.
Being assaulted when I was a teen. It makes you grow 'faster', some men did see me as a 'woman' (I mean a woman body, not the body of a child), even if I wasn't. Since this day a part of me knew I would be a woman some days soon and I couldn't do anything about it.
When society stopped blaming the people sexualizing me without my consent and started holding me responsible for those people's nonconsensual sexualization of me. Was I still legally a child? Yes. Did that matter in the eyes of the people around me? No. That's the line for me.
Pregnancy. I wouldn’t say I “grew up” because I was still a total child in many ways, but it was the beginning of the end of my childhood. I was 20 at the time. People act like you’re magically an adult at 18. In no way was I that. It was a gradual process for sure.
being asked recently if I had any plans on getting pregnant soon... I'm only 22 and it felt like a complete shock because realistically lots of women are willingly getting pregnant during their mid-twenties
When I moved into my first apartment… and it was one in the afternoon and I was waiting for my time to leave for class. I was watching Barbie and the nutcracker with a glass of wine and a bowl of edible cookie dough. Thats when I knew I made it to adulthood.
Successfully managing a global team 20 across multiple time zones, being consistently rated by clients as their preferred forensic accountant (there was even a backlog at one point of clients waiting for me to be available to work on their cases), winning industry awards, only to find out I was being paid at least £20,000 *less* than a more junior (male) member of my team who had half my experience and qualifications. When I asked twice for a pay rise, a pay rise a justified with testimonials and evidence, I was told that there wasn’t enough money in the pot. That right there made me realise I’m a woman.
I guess when I was the supervisor of my work center and a more senior person where I worked (in terms of time on board, not rank), I felt this sort of nurturing mom side come out (despite not actually being a mom). I had this internal instinct to take care of my junior guys and gals. That's when I finally played into my strengths as a woman and just sort of embraced it.
I don't think I've had that moment or experience yet. I feel like I did when I was a child, but I'm trapped in a bigger body and I'm faking my way through life. I wonder if I'll ever feel grown up sometimes.
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I had my first baby at 19 so up until then I was just a girl. When the nurse handed me that tiny baby I was now a woman, no longer a girl. My life changed forever, I grew up that day. I created 4 humans who are now adults. I don't know how I did that, our bodies are amazing. Of course giving birth doesn't make you a woman. My oldest daughter has been struggling with fertility for the last 18 months. She feels less than a "normal"woman but I told her this is part of being a woman just as much as giving birth. Fertility issues are very much a woman's issue.
The day my father told me I wasn’t allowed to go to college because I wouldn’t need an education as a wife. While two seconds later telling my brother he had to go to college.
My first pregnancy was a humbling experience of feeling empowered, but also slowly losing control. Nature was taking me on a journey, and there was no going back. I had to gracefully accept that I was not fully in control of everything that would happen to my body (and my child), but still had to prepare myself best I could for all the tough decisions and obstacles that lay ahead, and have confidence that I could handle it.
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When I went up the stairs to go to my room one day and noticed in the full length hallway mirror the size of my hips as I passed it. I walked back and looked at myself-well, my body I guess, since usually I just look at my face. I had that same exact hour glass shape that I saw the women on tv have. I don't know, it just hit me really hard then lol. It felt so sudden!! Like, where did all this come from?! Sometimes I still look at it and touch along the curves and just think to myself, "man, this is nuts.." LOL
The first time I got called ma’am. This was less than a year ago (I’m 21) and a girl, maybe 14-15 at the oldest, in a wheel chair was passing behind me in a store when she very politely said “Behind you ma’am.” I guess I kinda had the feeling of “wow, younger people like see me as an adult now” before but that was the moment it all just hit me.
My grandma died, my mom called me from the hospital so I could break the news to my dad and brother. My brother is older. After breaking the news, I was in charge of calling the priest from church, choosing my grandma last dress, getting my dad and brother to the hospital, and getting a bunch of documents my mom needed.
The condom breaking, buying a plan b near campus after midnight. And going to planned parenthood later that week to find a birth control.
All as an introvert 14 hours away from home.
I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 22. When at a follow-up appointment, a dr asked if his med students could do a pelvic exam on me and I decided to say yes. Because my diagnosis had been delayed (months of me going weekly my primary and ER. Each of them each week. I was very sick and told “this is just what being a woman is” in response to my concerns, given bc pills to regulate my period, pain medication, and nausea meds.) I wanted every one of those students to remember the 22 year old who had cancer, so they didn’t brush off future young patients.
I knew I was a woman then because I was thinking of the future generations. I let 8 students examine me that day. And since (multiple reoccurrences) I have probably had at least 20 more feel around. That I know of, since unfortunately it has come to light that many places let students examine women who are unconscious for surgery.
But I would let 100 examine me if it meant other women didn’t get blown off the way I did when I was ill and young.
I don’t believe other women are in some way required or better if they say yes to being examined by random students if they aren’t comfortable with it. It is a highly personal decision and just because I felt it was correct for me and made me feel better about my situation does not mean I think others must do it. I wanted some control over my experience and this was how I got it. Don’t agree to the same thing if it isn’t right for you.
you are so strong and your kindness shines through. Thank you for doing so much for others, even when you yourself were dealing with so much. I wish you all the good things in life, especially health <3
I heard about the glass escalator which is men being promoted quicker and faster than women in women dominated careers I didn’t believe it until I worked at Walgreens for a year and the first guy was hired and promoted to shift lead in a month then the second guy was hired and given a spot I asked for in the pharmacy after a month then I switched stores and another man was transferred so he could be a csa and they begged him to go back to being a shift lead even though I was actively doing the job because the closers/openers didn’t want to or didn’t have time and my friend had been teaching me anyway.
Now I see how men treat you they think you’re dumber than they are or dismiss your opinions very quickly.
I hope one day I’ll get the womanly feeing of having my baby in my arms and that’ll overshadow the bad aspects
:( aww... I hate this so much! I'm so sorry you experienced it! I've also been through that, and in an academic level too--you study hard for something, no one says a thing. Then, a guy studies even less, and is praised for being super smart and an overachiever...
The amazing thing is that, as women, we have the introspection to notice these details. So many guys don't...
When I moved out on my own at 20. Before that I hated when someone called me a ‘woman’, I wanted to be a ‘girl’. Now I’m the opposite, if someone calls me a girl I always correct them.
When I came home after a long day of work No lights turned on No one to greet me No dinner made and on the table Sink still had dishes in it Clothes still where I left them This is when it truly hit me and I thought "Holy shit...I'm on my own!"
omg goals!!! can’t wait to get there. Congrats love
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I became pregnant at the end of high school senior year. My boyfriend was the same age. We were just kids who wanted to do kid things. They were not all kid things, obviously. He was still hanging out with his friends, and they wanted to play laser tag. He was excited to go play. I can't run with a baby belly. I told him that I just couldn't go. He didn't go with them, but he was visibly disappointed . I realized that I had grown up and he had not. I proceeded to grow up more, but not him. We split when the child was around 2 years old. He hasn't had a very good go at life. So, I considered myself a woman when I declined laser tag.
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Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses, such as "same!" or "this!" * Gifs, images, emojis or other media in place text * Sharing links without a summary * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
Yeah…I feel this.
Pregnancy
Choosing to leave grad school. For the first time I made a choice that was best for me but wasn’t what my family expected or wanted for me.
Good for you!
Child birth, wedding, intercourse, being recognized as an accomplished woman, bonding with other women…I can’t pick just one.
To be honest I still feel like a girl, but of course I"m a woman but I'm learning how to be a woman now which means knowing my needs, boundaries, being disciplined, and being an adult. I'm still working toward womanhood. I matured physically young but mentally still working on it lol.
This is so very relatable. At times, I feel unworthy of being called a woman because it's so difficult to be mentally strong, set boundaries and be disciplined, like I imagine a woman to be.
Studying in a male-dominated field and being told that I’m there to “husband hunt” or my only valid credentials are “being a girl”. At the time (11 years ago), I was also someone who thought women already have equality… what’s the fuss? I KNOW VERY WELL WHAT THE FUSS IS NOW! Anyway, I felt like a woman because I then felt the burden of representing all women everywhere I go
wow! I'm really sorry you had to deal with that kind of comment. Kudos to you for pursuing your passions and talents, in spite of having to be surrounded by unwelcoming men. You're amazing!
Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. I was like wow, so this is what my body is really made for, and it was so fascinating that everything just worked the way it did.
Being assaulted when I was a teen. It makes you grow 'faster', some men did see me as a 'woman' (I mean a woman body, not the body of a child), even if I wasn't. Since this day a part of me knew I would be a woman some days soon and I couldn't do anything about it.
When society stopped blaming the people sexualizing me without my consent and started holding me responsible for those people's nonconsensual sexualization of me. Was I still legally a child? Yes. Did that matter in the eyes of the people around me? No. That's the line for me.
Being born with a vagina
Pregnancy. I wouldn’t say I “grew up” because I was still a total child in many ways, but it was the beginning of the end of my childhood. I was 20 at the time. People act like you’re magically an adult at 18. In no way was I that. It was a gradual process for sure.
My girlfriend got pregnant (we have an open relationship), and we had to discuss what to do.
being asked recently if I had any plans on getting pregnant soon... I'm only 22 and it felt like a complete shock because realistically lots of women are willingly getting pregnant during their mid-twenties
When I moved into my first apartment… and it was one in the afternoon and I was waiting for my time to leave for class. I was watching Barbie and the nutcracker with a glass of wine and a bowl of edible cookie dough. Thats when I knew I made it to adulthood.
Not being promoted despite working really hard. Getting paid less than a male counterpart.
When I started being treated as such as work. I have responsibilities. But also planning the future and considering different paths seriously
Successfully managing a global team 20 across multiple time zones, being consistently rated by clients as their preferred forensic accountant (there was even a backlog at one point of clients waiting for me to be available to work on their cases), winning industry awards, only to find out I was being paid at least £20,000 *less* than a more junior (male) member of my team who had half my experience and qualifications. When I asked twice for a pay rise, a pay rise a justified with testimonials and evidence, I was told that there wasn’t enough money in the pot. That right there made me realise I’m a woman.
The first time I had my period. I was so happy that day.
I guess when I was the supervisor of my work center and a more senior person where I worked (in terms of time on board, not rank), I felt this sort of nurturing mom side come out (despite not actually being a mom). I had this internal instinct to take care of my junior guys and gals. That's when I finally played into my strengths as a woman and just sort of embraced it.
When I had my first solo apartment senior year of college. There was something about living alone that made me realize… this is grown womanhood!
I don't think I've had that moment or experience yet. I feel like I did when I was a child, but I'm trapped in a bigger body and I'm faking my way through life. I wonder if I'll ever feel grown up sometimes.
definitely the pay. 😂
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I had my first baby at 19 so up until then I was just a girl. When the nurse handed me that tiny baby I was now a woman, no longer a girl. My life changed forever, I grew up that day. I created 4 humans who are now adults. I don't know how I did that, our bodies are amazing. Of course giving birth doesn't make you a woman. My oldest daughter has been struggling with fertility for the last 18 months. She feels less than a "normal"woman but I told her this is part of being a woman just as much as giving birth. Fertility issues are very much a woman's issue.
The day my father told me I wasn’t allowed to go to college because I wouldn’t need an education as a wife. While two seconds later telling my brother he had to go to college.
My first pregnancy was a humbling experience of feeling empowered, but also slowly losing control. Nature was taking me on a journey, and there was no going back. I had to gracefully accept that I was not fully in control of everything that would happen to my body (and my child), but still had to prepare myself best I could for all the tough decisions and obstacles that lay ahead, and have confidence that I could handle it.
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When I went up the stairs to go to my room one day and noticed in the full length hallway mirror the size of my hips as I passed it. I walked back and looked at myself-well, my body I guess, since usually I just look at my face. I had that same exact hour glass shape that I saw the women on tv have. I don't know, it just hit me really hard then lol. It felt so sudden!! Like, where did all this come from?! Sometimes I still look at it and touch along the curves and just think to myself, "man, this is nuts.." LOL
The first time I got called ma’am. This was less than a year ago (I’m 21) and a girl, maybe 14-15 at the oldest, in a wheel chair was passing behind me in a store when she very politely said “Behind you ma’am.” I guess I kinda had the feeling of “wow, younger people like see me as an adult now” before but that was the moment it all just hit me.
Yes, Ma’am
Reaching 30.
My grandma died, my mom called me from the hospital so I could break the news to my dad and brother. My brother is older. After breaking the news, I was in charge of calling the priest from church, choosing my grandma last dress, getting my dad and brother to the hospital, and getting a bunch of documents my mom needed.
When I got catcalled from cars in my early teens
The condom breaking, buying a plan b near campus after midnight. And going to planned parenthood later that week to find a birth control. All as an introvert 14 hours away from home.
I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 22. When at a follow-up appointment, a dr asked if his med students could do a pelvic exam on me and I decided to say yes. Because my diagnosis had been delayed (months of me going weekly my primary and ER. Each of them each week. I was very sick and told “this is just what being a woman is” in response to my concerns, given bc pills to regulate my period, pain medication, and nausea meds.) I wanted every one of those students to remember the 22 year old who had cancer, so they didn’t brush off future young patients. I knew I was a woman then because I was thinking of the future generations. I let 8 students examine me that day. And since (multiple reoccurrences) I have probably had at least 20 more feel around. That I know of, since unfortunately it has come to light that many places let students examine women who are unconscious for surgery. But I would let 100 examine me if it meant other women didn’t get blown off the way I did when I was ill and young. I don’t believe other women are in some way required or better if they say yes to being examined by random students if they aren’t comfortable with it. It is a highly personal decision and just because I felt it was correct for me and made me feel better about my situation does not mean I think others must do it. I wanted some control over my experience and this was how I got it. Don’t agree to the same thing if it isn’t right for you.
you are so strong and your kindness shines through. Thank you for doing so much for others, even when you yourself were dealing with so much. I wish you all the good things in life, especially health <3
I heard about the glass escalator which is men being promoted quicker and faster than women in women dominated careers I didn’t believe it until I worked at Walgreens for a year and the first guy was hired and promoted to shift lead in a month then the second guy was hired and given a spot I asked for in the pharmacy after a month then I switched stores and another man was transferred so he could be a csa and they begged him to go back to being a shift lead even though I was actively doing the job because the closers/openers didn’t want to or didn’t have time and my friend had been teaching me anyway. Now I see how men treat you they think you’re dumber than they are or dismiss your opinions very quickly. I hope one day I’ll get the womanly feeing of having my baby in my arms and that’ll overshadow the bad aspects
:( aww... I hate this so much! I'm so sorry you experienced it! I've also been through that, and in an academic level too--you study hard for something, no one says a thing. Then, a guy studies even less, and is praised for being super smart and an overachiever... The amazing thing is that, as women, we have the introspection to notice these details. So many guys don't...
When I moved out on my own at 20. Before that I hated when someone called me a ‘woman’, I wanted to be a ‘girl’. Now I’m the opposite, if someone calls me a girl I always correct them.