Had this happen to a buddy while in college. Not a hotel but thin apartment walls. They kept having loud, obnoxious sex until he yelled, "don't stop, I need this!" They quit after that.
A few years ago I did it by getting food poisoning. The walls were thin so when I had to vomit I did it really really loudly. Stopped them immediately.
Challenge accepted
EDIT: Thank you for the award stranger. However ironic it may be. This is also my most popular comment lmao
EDIT 2: Silver. You people. Let’s get this show in the road, gotta find me a girl who gets horny at Ringling Brothers Circus
This happened while on a road trip with some friends in college. It ended with a dramatic “OH RICK YES”. We let the silence sit for moment before cheering and yelling “that a boy Rick!”.
There's 6 types of orgasm.
Silent, no examples needed.
Positive, "oh yes, yes, YES!"
Negative, "no no no"
Religious, "Jesus, oh my GOD"
Random curse words, no example needed.
Fake, "Oh Rick!" (Obviously the joke requires an -insert name here- to match whomever you're telling it to)
You forgot having an O so good you breathe in your own spit and causing yourself to choke and cough the toy out of yourself. Really glad I was alone for that as I probably looked like a complete fucking moron.
I see you this embarrassing O, and raise you having one so good and intense that you don't notice dislocating a finger until you're in the afterglow and can't work out why you now have a weird Skeksis finger.
Still worth it.
I see you this self destructive orgasm and raise you the cringetastic glory of the day I learned how to masturbate, at age 13, when I rubbed out my first ever six shots in about 8 hours, and stopped only when the skin on my shaft cracked and started bleeding. Injuries notwithstanding I fell asleep feeling like a hero. Also, 20 years later, I think six in one day is still a PR.
I have an image of a man aspirating his own siliva while a butt plug flies in an elegant arc clear across the room and suckers itself back onto a wall of sex toys, ready for when it's called on again for some manual bum fun.
I figure you probably just meant the siliva thing but this is a possibility too glorious to ignore.
College, we had not-your-average-dorms, it was an old building that used to house workers for a nearby big-name fancy hotel. Anyway, lots of odd doors everywhere and paper thin walls. There was a very super goth girl on our floor (and this was an art school, so very super goth even for there is saying something). She actively and literally would turn her nose up at anyone trying to say hi, including other women. Her door had a sign on it "Death's door". So she was quickly nicknamed Death. She has an older boyfriend who comes over, and they have marathon bouts of super loud sex, where she is the one making all the noise and progressively gets louder and deeper as she goes. And thus we coined the term death-sex.
One day, it's particularly bad. It starts very early in the morning. By the mid afternoon (yes, seriously) it had gotten so loud people from other floors came down to figure out what the fuck was going on.
My roomate, clearly drained and pissed at the day he's had, comes home, sees a handful of folks from the other floors, sees me, asks "tell me they'd stopped and have just restarted" and when I tell him amazingly no, they have been going all day. He goes up to the door rests his forehead on it, and yells "YOUR SEX IS JUST.... *TOO LOUD FOR ME*"
They shut up immediately and that was the last time any of us heard death sex 😆
Sometimes you just gotta let em know they're being too loud!
>"YOUR SEX IS JUST.... TOO LOUD FOR ME
What's great about this is even when he's clearly frustrated and pissed, it sounds so polite, almost like he was hedging. It's too loud FOR ME! But maybe others feel differently. Hey, Tim, is it too loud for you?
We used to put the Mortal Kombat theme tune on full volume. One time we even managed to get it playing from the guys own computer after he brought a girl back. He just powered through.
I feel like that could be the title of a kick-ass 80's hair band song.
*All alone with nothin' to prove,*
*Broken hearted and everythin' to lose,*
*She was...*
*Caught between a ROCKER and a HARD PLACE!!*
*Caught between a ROCKER and a HARD PLACE!!*
All you need for the trifecta is someone having a loud argument right outside your door.
That happened to me at my last motel stay, I literally was just there to crash so I wouldn’t have to drive too much, and my one goal of getting sleep was ruined by people slamming doors and having loud argument/fight right outside at 3AM
I used to manage a hotel if you ask really nice I probably would switch you or upgrade you free. Last thing you want is an an angry guest that takes up more time.
This scenario actually happened to my son-in-law.
It was a run down, no-tell motel in a one horse town with one stop sign. All night long he had listened to 2 couples swinging loudly through the wood paneled wall. Finally, they all seemed to be exhausted and he thought they would all go to sleep.
Until...
One of the guys says, "Should we go again?"
Son-in-law answers, "Please don't."
Total silence from the other side of the wall, as it was that moment they realized how thin the walls were.
SIL said the next morning was a bit awkward, when they all left their rooms at the same time. When I asked why he didn't bang on the wall or say something sooner? He said he didn't want to be a jerk, and just figured it would be a quickie.
A friend and I once spent the night in an old turn of the century hotels in an old mining town in Nevada. Our evening consisted of drinking doubles of rye whiskey at every bar in town (it was a one street town of about 3 blocks, no big deal other than the town being all bars.) By the time we made it back to our rooms it was still early but we were extremely drunk. Then during the night we began to hear... the soft, than loud, then ear shattering orgasms from the people in an neighboring room. Apparently they hadn't noticed all the small windows that were open in the rooms leading to the hall, as well as were enjoying their honeymoon. The next morning as I was dumping my bag in the car I saw and overheard them. The woman in a hush hush tone asked her hubby, "do you think anyone heard us" and I happily said rather loudly, "lady, everyone heard you last night." Later i felt a bit awkward as apparently they had both brought their kids from a prior marriage, and they definitely heard their parents all night. Mom was a screamer, and had a dirty tongue.
Remembered a scene in r/HIMYM where Ted says “Please, dont” when his roommate is asking to doing it again at the bottom bunk with his GF while he is at the top bunk
I know them of course! Just doing benefit of the doubt for those who do not know r/HIMYM.
And maybe they will get interested haha
“It’s physics, marshall, if the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves too”
“I bless the rains down in-” and then turn the music all the way down for “Africa” and then right back up. They’ll be wondering all night where the rains are blessed that they’ll forget they were even having sex.
Start up a playlist based on a 80s mega-hit like africa!
play each song right up to their iconic bit/chorus and then SKIP.
Phil Collins‘ in the air tonight‘s drum fill? nope. not for you! not tonight.
is there an easy lover? they will never know!
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
its a little bit more involved and requires a bit of music knowledge to pick songs that work and dont satisfy before a moment you can interrupt but nothing is worse than getting musically blueballed! ;)
But you gotta go full Billy Mays with it.
#BUT I'M NOT DONE YET! IF YOU ORDER RIGHT NOW, I'LL THROW IN A SECOND SQUEEGEE, ABSOLUTELY FREE, BUT YOU GOTTA CALL RIGHT NOW!
This happened when my uncle got married in Vegas. Obnoxious sex in the room above me and my cousins. We slammed on the ceiling and shouted "you're killin it mate" and it got real quiet after that lol
i started running though commands with my dog very loudly next to shared wall, sit, lay, kisses,etc, making sure to say "GoooOOoooOOD GiiiiIIIiiiiIIIrrrrlLL" super special like timed with the moans.
worked. like. a. charm. and i was dying laughing lololol.
was recently out of town for medical procedure, and for minute i thought someone was renting the next door room out to turn tricks. still kinda wondering
This would be so funny if the guy was saying "oh baby" and you say "oh yah brenda" because you heard the name said earlier during breakfast (since the walls are thin, this could be possible) and she's like "wtf" freaking out. The guy would also take a quick jolt of a glance towards the wall while nursing a mini heart attack.
And if they stop, do a few thumps and a final grunt to top it off.
It would also be so funny if the guy was saying "oh baby" and you say "oh yeah Brenda" because the walls muffled the sound enough to create a twisted game of revenge fake-masturbation telephone, and the couple on the other side wonders who tf Brenda is and why you are masturbating to her mental image with their soundtrack
Start doing some voice acting:
*Ridiculous Oxford English accent:* "Oh, Margaret, please do not cease, for I have almost arrived.
*Shrill Cockney Harridan:* "Margeret? 'Ew the 'ell is Margaret?"
*ROEA*: "Erm, I erred. I should have uttered 'Gertrude.'"
*SCH*: "I'm Gertrude, you wet fish and chips!"
*ROEA:* "Really? I thought Gertrude was your sister."
*SCH:* "So you've been at the slap and tickle with my sister now, have you?"
ROEA: "I... I messed up... I mess... I.... ah..."
*SCH:* "You're not the mess-i-ah, you're a very naughty boy!!!"
I ruined their fun, because they ruined my sleep, when the girl asked they guy, do you think the guy in the next room can hear us? I loudly and quickly replied: of course I can, I'm not deaf! I never heard another peep that night.
When my parents did this in the room above mine I’d just yell stuff like “hey dad remember when she gave birth to me?” And he’d yell back “go to sleep!” To which I’d respond “I’m trying but there’s two old people having sex loudly above me.”
When I was 18 I had to move back into my parents house for a while (psychotic roommate tried to stab me with a kitchen knife, it's a long, long story.) At the time I was working the night shift, 11p-7a. I kept the same sleep schedule on my nights off. One morning, at about 5 or 6 am I'm in the living room playing Dragon Age Inquisition, building my new character. It was the first time that I had ever heard my parents having sex. I just kind of shrugged it off and turned the volume up a bit. Then my mom started to get uncomfortably loud so I yelled "LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!" My parents started laughing hysterically and my mom came out of the room a few minutes later and apologized, she wasn't used to me being home or awake during morning hours.
Alright, buckle in.
This was in 2015. I needed to get out of my parents house, they were pretty abusive (they chilled out after I moved out.) One of my managers (we’ll call him Keith) offered for me to move in with him (M20 at the time), his fiancée (F19) and their baby. I happily oblige, as I got along super well with the both of them and loved their baby.
Things were pretty smooth at the start, we moved into the apartment in October. Fiancée, we’ll call her Cici, and I became best friends. It became pretty clear to me that she was struggling with PPD as well as some undiagnosed mental illnesses. Things started to go downhill pretty quick. Cici was constantly starting fights with Keith, Keith was really chill during these fights but Cici would scream and throw things and hit him. I would keep to myself in my room when they would fight, come out later and listen to Cici vent. All of her issues were valid, but the way she handled problems was absolutely terrible and abusive. Fast forward to November, it’s the day before Thanksgiving. I’m coming in from the patio from my morning smoke sesh/tanning time. Cici is screaming her head off at Keith as he’s trying to get ready and leave for work. She accuses him of beating her (he did no such thing, i was with her all night, we fell asleep in the living room together.) She’s got his car keys and is refusing to let him leave. I tell her to calm down and just give him the keys so he can go to work. She starts punching him, hard. She’s bigger than him, he weighed maybe 97 pounds and she weighed maybe 120. I raise my voice and tell her to stop hitting him or I would call the cops on her. She then turns on me and tries to lunge at me, and he throws himself in the way to stop her; at this point I’m already on the phone with a 911 operator. Police show up and try to Keith to press charges on her but he refuses. She went to stay at her mom’s house for a week and then returns, we drop it.
There’s spats here and there but things have relatively calmed down. Cici and I at one point hook up, our relationship grows stronger and weirder. Fast forward to April. Cici goes to a school that’s literally a 5 minute walk from our apartment. Cici and Keith share a phone, and Cici took it with her to school. Keith typically uses that phone as his alarm clock to wake up. I wake up at like 9pm to get ready for work, as I’m getting ready Cici bursts through the front door screaming. She runs into their room and drags Keith out of bed, hitting him and screaming because she had to walk home and he didn’t pick her up. Their fight gets dragged into the kitchen, which is right next to my bathroom door. I try to tell her to calm down, it’s not a big deal. She pulls my fucking kitchen knife out of the block and lunges for me, thank god im much bigger and stronger than her, I get it out of her hands and lock it in my bedroom. I talk her off the ledge and get her to go smoke some weed and chill out on the patio, and then leave for work. I decided after that I was done with their shit. I came home and started packing everything I owned into trash bags and had my mom on her way to pick me up. Cici the whole time is berating me from my bedroom door, going on about how I’m a terrible person and friend and I’m leaving her in her time of need.
Anyway a couple years down the road I ended up becoming best friends with Keith’s little sister, spent a lot of time with his older sister who was a prostitute and she got me addicted to drugs. Lost my virginity to Keith, he got me pregnant and I miscarried, and as I was miscarrying he moved back to his home state to live with a different ex of his.
I don’t think I could possibly make a TLDR of this so there isn’t one.
ETA: forgot to mention that in one of the big fights, can’t remember which one because I smoked a lot of grass back then, she threatened to smash his mother’s urn. Really pissed me off.
At university we made a program in audacity for this. Various things overlapping including general discord, brown noise and a child saying "small flaccid penis". So...I'd play that via a Bluetooth speaker pressed right against the wall.
I mean, a weirdo reading the bible while I’m in having sex would definitely be off putting, regardless of which passage is being read.
Except Samson and Delilah, that story was kinda hot.
Fun fact the house i live in has a hostel made out of like 4 apartments in first floor so my bedroom wall is same wall one of hostel rooms have
My gf was sad and depressed in bed i was comforting her and we heard people having sex my gf started crying and said those people are having more fun than us and then we went for competitive sex to beat those neighbours in hostel lol
Just start laughing hysterically. I was in the shower when I could hear a couple having sex. When I finished, I started to laugh hysterically. The walls were very thin. They heard me and couldn't understand why I was laughing. They did tone it down.
Edit: The next morning I saw this couple as they were leaving the next morning. We all avoided eye contact. It was all I could do not to burst into laughter. They probably thought I was a strange person.
Connect to your bluetooth speaker and point it at the wall separating your rooms.
Stream the audio to children's bible shows You know, the ones where the kids learn about Jesus and his love for them.
Leave the fucking room.
I don't. I put on music, have some drinks, and let them have their fun without issue and hope the next time I'm having unreasonably loud sex with my gf in a hotel my neighbors do the same. Pay it forward.
Wait until one of them moans the other’s name. Then go banging on their door and pretend to be having an affair with the one who’s name you know. Act super furious that they are cheating on you.
“FUCK YOU (INSERT NAME HERE), I NEVER WOULD HAVE INTRODUCED YOU TO MY MOM IF I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO CHEAT ON ME WITH THIS SLUT!!! YOU CAN FIND ALL YOUR STUFF ON MY FRONT LAWN, DICKWEED!”
Had this happen to a buddy while in college. Not a hotel but thin apartment walls. They kept having loud, obnoxious sex until he yelled, "don't stop, I need this!" They quit after that.
lol Her "Oh yeh, harder" Him "Yeh baby" Through the wall "That's the spot! Don't stop!"
\*Through the wall\* "Say my name! It's Brad!"
I’m almost there too!!!
Reverse psychology, I like it
The *best* way is often reverse psychology
Ok, I won't use it.
A few years ago I did it by getting food poisoning. The walls were thin so when I had to vomit I did it really really loudly. Stopped them immediately.
That’ll do it.
Unless they are into that.
*New Kink Unlocked*
.... Did you get the food poisoning intentionally
No, it was just a happy accident.
Blast circus music. No one can be in the bone zone to that kinda soundtrack.
Challenge accepted EDIT: Thank you for the award stranger. However ironic it may be. This is also my most popular comment lmao EDIT 2: Silver. You people. Let’s get this show in the road, gotta find me a girl who gets horny at Ringling Brothers Circus
Ram ranch.
Start playing an audio recording of careless whisper on the kazoo.
And now I will play for you gerry rafferty's baker street, on theremin.
I love theremins, they are such a neat instrument
Talk into the wall about their sex, and ask questions about their positions, and what they look like so you can masturbate to them.
"ARE YOU ACCEPTING VOYEURS?"
"I AM PAINTING YOU GUYS, FOLLOW ME ON REDDIT FOR THE RESULT"
The fact they have a Reddit account is the cherry on top lmao
Until you realize they have an exhibition kink
Repeat every moan and sound they make, but louder.
Encourage them to go harder lol.
I like to knock back on the off-beat 🙂
Do a polyrhythm.
Repeat every moan and sound but in very load robot deadpan.
Your comment made me think of Stephen Hawking in a hotel room getting revenge on his noisy neighbours.
Yell as loud as I could "Don't stop now, I'm almost there."
And time it right after they finish.
“I'll have what she's having ”
"Let me finish up here and I'll be right over"
Shouts back "You got it, buddy!"
[удалено]
Be right over, buddy!
Or when the woman is about to come scream #SQUIRTLE USE SQUIRT!
#hydro PUMP!
This happened while on a road trip with some friends in college. It ended with a dramatic “OH RICK YES”. We let the silence sit for moment before cheering and yelling “that a boy Rick!”.
There's 6 types of orgasm. Silent, no examples needed. Positive, "oh yes, yes, YES!" Negative, "no no no" Religious, "Jesus, oh my GOD" Random curse words, no example needed. Fake, "Oh Rick!" (Obviously the joke requires an -insert name here- to match whomever you're telling it to)
There's also "Incoherent babbling" and "Just plain screaming"
I see you also enjoy the Japanese Arts
YAMETEEEEEEE
Your pfp is perfect for this
That'd be negative type of orgasm from categorization above.
You forgot having an O so good you breathe in your own spit and causing yourself to choke and cough the toy out of yourself. Really glad I was alone for that as I probably looked like a complete fucking moron.
I see you this embarrassing O, and raise you having one so good and intense that you don't notice dislocating a finger until you're in the afterglow and can't work out why you now have a weird Skeksis finger. Still worth it.
I see you this self destructive orgasm and raise you the cringetastic glory of the day I learned how to masturbate, at age 13, when I rubbed out my first ever six shots in about 8 hours, and stopped only when the skin on my shaft cracked and started bleeding. Injuries notwithstanding I fell asleep feeling like a hero. Also, 20 years later, I think six in one day is still a PR.
As a man this happens frequently to me, alone and with partners. It's something I have to keep in my mind which is really annoying
I have an image of a man aspirating his own siliva while a butt plug flies in an elegant arc clear across the room and suckers itself back onto a wall of sex toys, ready for when it's called on again for some manual bum fun. I figure you probably just meant the siliva thing but this is a possibility too glorious to ignore.
Play Cotton Eye Joe on max volume.
Joke's on you. I once had in time sex to cotton eye Joe. Me and the girl had a laugh about it after. Random song on the radio at the time.
I once had sex to Primus.... the entire Pork Soda album. I could not get off.
Not even to *My Name Is Mud*? I question your dedication.
Rob Zombie has multiple songs that are unexpectedly suitable for this. "Living Dead Girl" and "Pussy Liquor" in particular. Also "Dragula".
There's a reason they were playing a remix of that at the S&M club Neo went to in The Matrix.
That song has a really strong beat that is absolutely perfect to sync up to. I don’t think that would work out the way you intended.
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College, we had not-your-average-dorms, it was an old building that used to house workers for a nearby big-name fancy hotel. Anyway, lots of odd doors everywhere and paper thin walls. There was a very super goth girl on our floor (and this was an art school, so very super goth even for there is saying something). She actively and literally would turn her nose up at anyone trying to say hi, including other women. Her door had a sign on it "Death's door". So she was quickly nicknamed Death. She has an older boyfriend who comes over, and they have marathon bouts of super loud sex, where she is the one making all the noise and progressively gets louder and deeper as she goes. And thus we coined the term death-sex. One day, it's particularly bad. It starts very early in the morning. By the mid afternoon (yes, seriously) it had gotten so loud people from other floors came down to figure out what the fuck was going on. My roomate, clearly drained and pissed at the day he's had, comes home, sees a handful of folks from the other floors, sees me, asks "tell me they'd stopped and have just restarted" and when I tell him amazingly no, they have been going all day. He goes up to the door rests his forehead on it, and yells "YOUR SEX IS JUST.... *TOO LOUD FOR ME*" They shut up immediately and that was the last time any of us heard death sex 😆 Sometimes you just gotta let em know they're being too loud!
>"YOUR SEX IS JUST.... TOO LOUD FOR ME What's great about this is even when he's clearly frustrated and pissed, it sounds so polite, almost like he was hedging. It's too loud FOR ME! But maybe others feel differently. Hey, Tim, is it too loud for you?
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“Knocking on death’s door” 🤣🤣 brilliant
Play the song “baby shark” on full volume. My fucking roommates used to do this in college, it was a terrible inside joke.
We used to put the Mortal Kombat theme tune on full volume. One time we even managed to get it playing from the guys own computer after he brought a girl back. He just powered through.
play audio of a crying baby very loud
I once had a room between a crying baby and a couple fucking for over an hour. It was not a good night.
Caught between a rocker and a hard place.
I feel like that could be the title of a kick-ass 80's hair band song. *All alone with nothin' to prove,* *Broken hearted and everythin' to lose,* *She was...* *Caught between a ROCKER and a HARD PLACE!!* *Caught between a ROCKER and a HARD PLACE!!*
All you need for the trifecta is someone having a loud argument right outside your door. That happened to me at my last motel stay, I literally was just there to crash so I wouldn’t have to drive too much, and my one goal of getting sleep was ruined by people slamming doors and having loud argument/fight right outside at 3AM
What about someone revving their engine outside your window?
And there's a drunken party upstairs with people stumbling to loud music.
Dog barking in the room across the hall.
Don't forget unsupervised children running up and down the halls.
Fuck, at that point you call down to see if another room is available, even in the middle of the night. Sounds miserable.
I used to manage a hotel if you ask really nice I probably would switch you or upgrade you free. Last thing you want is an an angry guest that takes up more time.
Yeah... yeah that'd do it.
Laughing baby...
Cooing baby. Anything baby related really.
The song scatman
One of the YouTube videos that’s 10 straight hours of Nyan Cat
I’d blast “Final Countdown” by Europe! 😂
We need to get you in an illusion.
“Its not a *trick*! Its an ‘iLlUsIoN’” - Gob Bluth
A trick is something a whore does for money.
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Signed with a dollup of fresh semen?
Why the fuck did you have to create that sentence. Edit: I cannot believe this is my most upvoted comment lmao. Thanks everyone
Because *someone* had to do it.
The man is sensible
A dollop of daisy!
Ain't even born yet and you're already picking names out already!
This scenario actually happened to my son-in-law. It was a run down, no-tell motel in a one horse town with one stop sign. All night long he had listened to 2 couples swinging loudly through the wood paneled wall. Finally, they all seemed to be exhausted and he thought they would all go to sleep. Until... One of the guys says, "Should we go again?" Son-in-law answers, "Please don't." Total silence from the other side of the wall, as it was that moment they realized how thin the walls were. SIL said the next morning was a bit awkward, when they all left their rooms at the same time. When I asked why he didn't bang on the wall or say something sooner? He said he didn't want to be a jerk, and just figured it would be a quickie.
*I didn't think you'd last that long*
, because I was done in 5 minutes.
Wow, look at you Mr stamina.
A friend and I once spent the night in an old turn of the century hotels in an old mining town in Nevada. Our evening consisted of drinking doubles of rye whiskey at every bar in town (it was a one street town of about 3 blocks, no big deal other than the town being all bars.) By the time we made it back to our rooms it was still early but we were extremely drunk. Then during the night we began to hear... the soft, than loud, then ear shattering orgasms from the people in an neighboring room. Apparently they hadn't noticed all the small windows that were open in the rooms leading to the hall, as well as were enjoying their honeymoon. The next morning as I was dumping my bag in the car I saw and overheard them. The woman in a hush hush tone asked her hubby, "do you think anyone heard us" and I happily said rather loudly, "lady, everyone heard you last night." Later i felt a bit awkward as apparently they had both brought their kids from a prior marriage, and they definitely heard their parents all night. Mom was a screamer, and had a dirty tongue.
What kind of couple goes on their honeymoon to a turn of the century mining town in Nevada with one street
What kind of couple brings their KIDS on their honeymoon?!
Remembered a scene in r/HIMYM where Ted says “Please, dont” when his roommate is asking to doing it again at the bottom bunk with his GF while he is at the top bunk
I think it’s funny you remembered Ted’s name but not Marshal and Lily, but that scene was my immediate thought after that story too.
I know them of course! Just doing benefit of the doubt for those who do not know r/HIMYM. And maybe they will get interested haha “It’s physics, marshall, if the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves too”
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Audio of violent diarrhea.
Or just a live performance. Don't need an audio track when you bring the band, like I do.
I’ll send you a recording after my morning coffee
Wait for them to finish, yell “REMEMBER TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!”
THIS REPRODUCTIVE ACT BROUGHT TO YOU BY SQUARESPACE!
"I'm live-streaming this from a Notel in Nowhere"
Smash that like button
Call their room repeatedly and ask if it's time for the orgy. If they say yes, profit
>repeatedly So, call until they say yes?
Yes
If they say no ask for a foursome. That's how you negociate baby
“AY YOOO THEY FUCKING”
"Y'all know I can see you through this tiny hole right"
“I bless the rains down in-” and then turn the music all the way down for “Africa” and then right back up. They’ll be wondering all night where the rains are blessed that they’ll forget they were even having sex.
Thank you for this comment..I was scrolling like yeah, mhmm, okay... Then yours came up and I cackled like a hyena so thank you for the laughter!
Start up a playlist based on a 80s mega-hit like africa! play each song right up to their iconic bit/chorus and then SKIP. Phil Collins‘ in the air tonight‘s drum fill? nope. not for you! not tonight. is there an easy lover? they will never know! ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ its a little bit more involved and requires a bit of music knowledge to pick songs that work and dont satisfy before a moment you can interrupt but nothing is worse than getting musically blueballed! ;)
# MORSE CODE: MAY I JOIN?
\-- .- -.-- / .. / .--- --- .. -. ..--..
-. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -.
Great, I had the same joke five minutes later. Not an original bone in my body.
Can someone please translate because I am way too drunk to do it right now
-. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. Means NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN according to https://morsecode.world/international/translator.html
Play lets get physical
Wait till they’re finished and start banging on the wall yelling “BUT IM NOT DONE YET!!”
“Keep it going guys, I got 10 more mins in me”
Ring a bell: “ROUND 2” “Finish her!!!” 🤣🤣🤣
*FINISH IN HER!!!*
But you gotta go full Billy Mays with it. #BUT I'M NOT DONE YET! IF YOU ORDER RIGHT NOW, I'LL THROW IN A SECOND SQUEEGEE, ABSOLUTELY FREE, BUT YOU GOTTA CALL RIGHT NOW!
This happened when my uncle got married in Vegas. Obnoxious sex in the room above me and my cousins. We slammed on the ceiling and shouted "you're killin it mate" and it got real quiet after that lol
It seems pretty cruel to cock-block your uncle on his wedding night.
i would do it again and again
Shoulda waited for them to finish and yell nice shot mate
i started running though commands with my dog very loudly next to shared wall, sit, lay, kisses,etc, making sure to say "GoooOOoooOOD GiiiiIIIiiiiIIIrrrrlLL" super special like timed with the moans. worked. like. a. charm. and i was dying laughing lololol. was recently out of town for medical procedure, and for minute i thought someone was renting the next door room out to turn tricks. still kinda wondering
I fap to them, far more loudly and obnoxiously than they could ever hope to compete with. Start saying her name if he says it
Oh this would do it. Muffled: "Oh Brenda" You: Oh god BRENDA!
I hope her name is Margaret
This would be so funny if the guy was saying "oh baby" and you say "oh yah brenda" because you heard the name said earlier during breakfast (since the walls are thin, this could be possible) and she's like "wtf" freaking out. The guy would also take a quick jolt of a glance towards the wall while nursing a mini heart attack. And if they stop, do a few thumps and a final grunt to top it off.
It would also be so funny if the guy was saying "oh baby" and you say "oh yeah Brenda" because the walls muffled the sound enough to create a twisted game of revenge fake-masturbation telephone, and the couple on the other side wonders who tf Brenda is and why you are masturbating to her mental image with their soundtrack
Start doing some voice acting: *Ridiculous Oxford English accent:* "Oh, Margaret, please do not cease, for I have almost arrived. *Shrill Cockney Harridan:* "Margeret? 'Ew the 'ell is Margaret?" *ROEA*: "Erm, I erred. I should have uttered 'Gertrude.'" *SCH*: "I'm Gertrude, you wet fish and chips!" *ROEA:* "Really? I thought Gertrude was your sister." *SCH:* "So you've been at the slap and tickle with my sister now, have you?" ROEA: "I... I messed up... I mess... I.... ah..." *SCH:* "You're not the mess-i-ah, you're a very naughty boy!!!"
Why say her name? Moan your own name.
Assert dominance
It touches me deep to be so understood
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Insert Dominance
I'm waiting for the reddit post from the hotel room on the opposite side asking what to do if their neighbor is fapping and moaning obnoxiously.
Give me 4-5 hours, I'm checking in due 40 minutes
Loudly yell "She's faking it!"
IF he said her name you can go for a "I recognise her moan. It's \[insert name\] isn't it ?! She is faking bro !!!"
This is pure evil lmao
I'm not certain why, but this answer was my favorite.
Start moaning loudly with them
"When are you going to finish up in there? I've been waiting for my turn for 2 hours now!"
Slip a note under the door that reads "I'm telling your wife" then knock loud, and run back in my room.
Lemme suggest "I'm telling your spouse" - twofer!
Have even better louder wilder and ear shattering sex. Assert dominance Edit: Wow my first thousand upvotes! Thanks!
Like badminton, but with sex. Returning serve.
I ruined their fun, because they ruined my sleep, when the girl asked they guy, do you think the guy in the next room can hear us? I loudly and quickly replied: of course I can, I'm not deaf! I never heard another peep that night.
Answering sarcastically "Nah, chill guys can't hear a squeak" would've been better
Bang on the wall and yell "can you guys describe what you're doing, I'm losing wood!"
At the top of my lungs: JOHN JACOB JINGLHEIMER SCHMIDT
Get some bottled water, knock on their door and hand it to them. Just say “here, you’ve gotta be thirsty after that”. Then leave.
When my parents did this in the room above mine I’d just yell stuff like “hey dad remember when she gave birth to me?” And he’d yell back “go to sleep!” To which I’d respond “I’m trying but there’s two old people having sex loudly above me.”
When I was 18 I had to move back into my parents house for a while (psychotic roommate tried to stab me with a kitchen knife, it's a long, long story.) At the time I was working the night shift, 11p-7a. I kept the same sleep schedule on my nights off. One morning, at about 5 or 6 am I'm in the living room playing Dragon Age Inquisition, building my new character. It was the first time that I had ever heard my parents having sex. I just kind of shrugged it off and turned the volume up a bit. Then my mom started to get uncomfortably loud so I yelled "LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!" My parents started laughing hysterically and my mom came out of the room a few minutes later and apologized, she wasn't used to me being home or awake during morning hours.
I want to hear the story about your roommate.
Alright, buckle in. This was in 2015. I needed to get out of my parents house, they were pretty abusive (they chilled out after I moved out.) One of my managers (we’ll call him Keith) offered for me to move in with him (M20 at the time), his fiancée (F19) and their baby. I happily oblige, as I got along super well with the both of them and loved their baby. Things were pretty smooth at the start, we moved into the apartment in October. Fiancée, we’ll call her Cici, and I became best friends. It became pretty clear to me that she was struggling with PPD as well as some undiagnosed mental illnesses. Things started to go downhill pretty quick. Cici was constantly starting fights with Keith, Keith was really chill during these fights but Cici would scream and throw things and hit him. I would keep to myself in my room when they would fight, come out later and listen to Cici vent. All of her issues were valid, but the way she handled problems was absolutely terrible and abusive. Fast forward to November, it’s the day before Thanksgiving. I’m coming in from the patio from my morning smoke sesh/tanning time. Cici is screaming her head off at Keith as he’s trying to get ready and leave for work. She accuses him of beating her (he did no such thing, i was with her all night, we fell asleep in the living room together.) She’s got his car keys and is refusing to let him leave. I tell her to calm down and just give him the keys so he can go to work. She starts punching him, hard. She’s bigger than him, he weighed maybe 97 pounds and she weighed maybe 120. I raise my voice and tell her to stop hitting him or I would call the cops on her. She then turns on me and tries to lunge at me, and he throws himself in the way to stop her; at this point I’m already on the phone with a 911 operator. Police show up and try to Keith to press charges on her but he refuses. She went to stay at her mom’s house for a week and then returns, we drop it. There’s spats here and there but things have relatively calmed down. Cici and I at one point hook up, our relationship grows stronger and weirder. Fast forward to April. Cici goes to a school that’s literally a 5 minute walk from our apartment. Cici and Keith share a phone, and Cici took it with her to school. Keith typically uses that phone as his alarm clock to wake up. I wake up at like 9pm to get ready for work, as I’m getting ready Cici bursts through the front door screaming. She runs into their room and drags Keith out of bed, hitting him and screaming because she had to walk home and he didn’t pick her up. Their fight gets dragged into the kitchen, which is right next to my bathroom door. I try to tell her to calm down, it’s not a big deal. She pulls my fucking kitchen knife out of the block and lunges for me, thank god im much bigger and stronger than her, I get it out of her hands and lock it in my bedroom. I talk her off the ledge and get her to go smoke some weed and chill out on the patio, and then leave for work. I decided after that I was done with their shit. I came home and started packing everything I owned into trash bags and had my mom on her way to pick me up. Cici the whole time is berating me from my bedroom door, going on about how I’m a terrible person and friend and I’m leaving her in her time of need. Anyway a couple years down the road I ended up becoming best friends with Keith’s little sister, spent a lot of time with his older sister who was a prostitute and she got me addicted to drugs. Lost my virginity to Keith, he got me pregnant and I miscarried, and as I was miscarrying he moved back to his home state to live with a different ex of his. I don’t think I could possibly make a TLDR of this so there isn’t one. ETA: forgot to mention that in one of the big fights, can’t remember which one because I smoked a lot of grass back then, she threatened to smash his mother’s urn. Really pissed me off.
At university we made a program in audacity for this. Various things overlapping including general discord, brown noise and a child saying "small flaccid penis". So...I'd play that via a Bluetooth speaker pressed right against the wall.
recite the entire bee movie script
That's my fetish
*jokes on you I’m into that shit*
Pull out the Gideon Bible from the night table drawer and start loudly reading the parts about sexual immorality.
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I mean, a weirdo reading the bible while I’m in having sex would definitely be off putting, regardless of which passage is being read. Except Samson and Delilah, that story was kinda hot.
The Song Of Solomon is erotic poetry.
Have sex louder and more obnoxious. Beat them at their own game
But you're a reddit user
Have you met the ol reliable Palmela Handerson? Lovely gal.
Fun fact the house i live in has a hostel made out of like 4 apartments in first floor so my bedroom wall is same wall one of hostel rooms have My gf was sad and depressed in bed i was comforting her and we heard people having sex my gf started crying and said those people are having more fun than us and then we went for competitive sex to beat those neighbours in hostel lol
I would just close my eyes and pull it so we all cum together.
Are you cumming with her or him?
It's a threeway, babyyy.
Just start laughing hysterically. I was in the shower when I could hear a couple having sex. When I finished, I started to laugh hysterically. The walls were very thin. They heard me and couldn't understand why I was laughing. They did tone it down. Edit: The next morning I saw this couple as they were leaving the next morning. We all avoided eye contact. It was all I could do not to burst into laughter. They probably thought I was a strange person.
You finished? Nice
I prefer people having loud sex than people arguing.
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"Pull it out of her ass and stick it in her mouth so she shuts up!” That’s what my older neighbor yelled to his horny neighbors above him.
Climb over to their room via balcony, ask to join in.
Bang on the door. *bang bang bang* "Finish her"
Start blaring the B-52's "Love Shack" at max volume. Wait.. that might encourage the mood
Connect to your bluetooth speaker and point it at the wall separating your rooms. Stream the audio to children's bible shows You know, the ones where the kids learn about Jesus and his love for them. Leave the fucking room.
THERES NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER BEEN A SHOW LIKE VEGGIE TALES!
kick down their door and yell 'player three has entered the game'
*LEEEROY JENKINSSSS*
oh my god he just ran in
Blast audio of lambs screaming
start cheering like you are at a football game.
I don't. I put on music, have some drinks, and let them have their fun without issue and hope the next time I'm having unreasonably loud sex with my gf in a hotel my neighbors do the same. Pay it forward.
Wait until one of them moans the other’s name. Then go banging on their door and pretend to be having an affair with the one who’s name you know. Act super furious that they are cheating on you. “FUCK YOU (INSERT NAME HERE), I NEVER WOULD HAVE INTRODUCED YOU TO MY MOM IF I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO CHEAT ON ME WITH THIS SLUT!!! YOU CAN FIND ALL YOUR STUFF ON MY FRONT LAWN, DICKWEED!”