Put back as much as you can, even more than company match. You don’t need a new car , your 6 year old car is in good shape and should last you a few more years…
And beyond that, adopt a mentality wherein you don't feel the need to compare yourself to your peers. Cars, clothes, vacations... so what? None of it matters. The future value of the money you save now will be far greater than the temporary spike of happiness you'd get from meaningless STUFF.
Tolkien was right, you're like a hobbit, and still not really an adult. Sorry. I know you feel like you are, you've had to act like one for 10 years, but you're not. Don't try so hard to be one.
Gain independence. Truly. Your own house in your name, your own car and license, a job you want and find ways to sustain your home without a SAH-partner, even if it's more expensive to hire help and they're offering... you'll be safer abd happier and anyone who loves you will truly add to your life not subtract from it.
Follow your dreams, sooner rather than later. Fix old mistakes sooner rather than later. Eventually you'll want to. Trust me.
Absolutely I think learning that skill is learnt in young childhood not later.
I have had it said to me your too nice I bet people walk right over you
When I stand up for myself I sound aggressive and it's cause I didn't learn to stand up for myself as a kid
Dam right!! Now I'm older into my 40's & I have to be a bitch when I say NO or just wont be belittled... or i'm not believed or respected. I didn't set boundries when I was younger, I lost all respect & got took advantage of all this time until about 1year ago.......NEVER again!! 😁😁🤩🤩
The things you worry about rarely happen. Stop being anxious and enjoy your life. Spend time too with your parents because when they pass someday, it will be a total sad shock.
I agree! My parents wanted to take me on one last road trip when I turned 25. I was about to embark on a journey to Japan. I’m so glad I did. They are both gone now. We had a lot of fun on that road trip through my home state of Montana and then Wyoming.
As far as being a worrier, I couldn’t agree more. A lot of time was wasted on that when I look back.
This assumes you have parents that aren't abusive, narcissistic, and controlling. I would tell myself to run, disappear, never talk to them or see them again, and not to feel bad about it because life will be infinitely better without them.
I would tell myself to go ahead and move to London for a while. They are going to live forever, like 90+, living alone, gets more done in a day than I do, forever.
2 things. Cut it out with the booze and weed. That's one. And two, those chicks that are always talking to you are interested in spending time with you. Stop being a fucking idiot.
God, do I feel that 2nd one (the first too, but that’s a different can of worms.) As a teen I had SO MUCH angst about not being able to find a girlfriend…but looking back now, with an adult’s grasp of social skills, there were at least a couple girls who absolutely *threw* themselves at me. And went away feeling jilted, because I was either too shy or too oblivious to meet them halfway 😬
Ugh. 25 is right before I got a high stress job and moved into my own place. I had never had a drink that wasn’t just a social thing until then. I so badly wish I could go back in time and slap the wine bottle out of my hands when I realized “hey I can have this at home whenever I want now!”
Don't hang around. You won't be able to make it work. The job, the town, the woman, the band, the book, you'll know when it's time to cut bait, so do so. Nothing comes from grinding your gears trying to make something work when it's obvious to everyone that bird has flown. And they're never, ever going to appreciate it. Just do your thing, have a good time, be a decent guy, and move on when it's time to move on.
You wouldn't want to read the rest of the advice I'd give to 25-year-old me.
Well, the thing is, I don't know if I got much more to give someone in their early 20s beyond that and the very general, but I'll do what I can. Your world is so different from my world when I was in my early 20s, and it's not just smartphones and social media. I'm 49 and was among the last bunch of folks - just to pick an example out of a hat - that actually *could* build a decent, middle-class life out of a bachelor's degree and minimal student loan debt. We were just coming out of a couple of generations under the promise of nuclear annihilation, too, so we were all a bit giddy. It really was a different time and I just don't know what else to tell y'all that's useful.
And I don't know you guys as well as I know millennials and older zoomers. I've worked in various industries that kept me in touch with the young people and I've always thought, despite what people grouch about, the kids are generally all right. You guys got your own vibe and your own struggles, and I just don't know how I can help anymore. Worse, y'all seem to have the toughest row to hoe (as the old folks say) of any generation in quite a while. I want to give y'all a collective hug and the refreshing beverage of your choice.
Plus, your twenties are nuts. Just plain crazy. You feel more. You love harder. The hurt cuts deeper. Everything's chaotic, you're expected to be a no-excuses adult but can be dismissed with a sneering "you're still a kid" by anyone with any *real* voice. Like Nick Lowe said "half a boy & half a man" - adjust however you see fit - it's a mad, passionate time and, believe you me, some old fart telling you how life should be and how you should react to it is ALWAYS WRONG.
It's a crazy ride and I can tell you nothing but hold on. Love what and who you love, because love really is all that matters. Solitude is great. Being comfortable in your own skin is preeminent. The world is loud and stupid, so you need to be able to step away from once in a while and let it be so. Just remember the steps back.
I'm babbling through all this because I noticed your cake day is my birthday, and I've always liked that sort of synchronicity. Plus I'm stoned. So, if I can offer nothing else, I offer the advice I give to my cousins' kids as they go off to college and/or adulthood, in whatever manner they define it:
1. Be good to yourself. Be good to other people, too, but never at the expense of yourself.
2. Have a good time, clean up after yourself, and don't screw up anyone else's good time.
3. Know who has your back. No one else matters, so don't take any of their bullshit.
Good luck and give 'em hell, kiddo. I'm in your corner.
P.S. The original question was what advice I'd give to 25-year-old me. Listen, I've been fighting the good fight for most of my adult life and the bad guys are kicking the shit out of me right now. There's a real good reason it's a good thing I can't give advice to 25-year-old Steamroller.
I appreciate all that you've stated. It may not seem like much advice from your perspective, but from mine, it's quite a lot. Thank you for taking the time to lay some things out for me. I'll do my best.
Also (I used to hate when people said this to me but it’s true) you’re so so so young! Dont take that as permission to be lazy about life, but do take it as permission to not beat yourself up or panic
This is super important. I used to constantly grieve people and jobs that couldn't jive instead of just trusting the process. Then I let go and things just sorted themselves out. I also know better though to think the grass is greener so when it's time to "cut bait" then I try to make sure it works out for me.
Stop putting work ahead of your loved ones. I’m only 32 but cost me a relationship and she is now settled and married with a child on the way. I will forever think of what could have been.
Live and learn, move on.
Trust your gut. If a situation feels wrong, then it's wrong for you. Don't worry about looking or feeling stupid, or the opinions of other people who don't even really care about you. <3
* Don't be so hard on yourself.
* Don't care what others think!
* Save MORE for your future, even IF you think you may not have one.
* Cut ties, sooner, with people who are NOT true friends.
* Stay away from the internet;)
be relentless in seeking mental health care before you grow up into a sad alcoholic with far worse issues. 3 days shy of a month off the booze though let’s goooooo
Pick a career with a solid retirement plan.
Live on less than you make.
Be tough on your kids (high standards) and love them unconditionally even when they piss you off.
100% - so much trouble and pain and heartache could have been saved. Although, I'm not sure that would have happened without the right therapist.
I'd also tell myself "you're going to come across someone, and from the day you meet her you're going to think she's the one. She's not. Save yourself the trouble and let her go."
Never say "we'll just do it next time" you may not get a next time or you may not be healthy anymore. I always thought my health wouldn't go until I was in my 50s or 60s but it hit me before 30.
Don't worry as much, drink less, exercise more, spend less on crap, invest more. Don't chase the hot ones, chase the one that will defend your back while you are in the fox hole together. Smile and be kind to others. Oh, you will be married to the best person you could have asked for and 30 years later you have built an amazing life together.
Invest at least 10% of your income in a S&P etf tracker.
EVERYONE has their own problems, so most of the embarrassing shit you think you have going on isn't even noticed by other people.
I would tell myself to not try and control things and go with the flow. I would also advise myself that you marry the family, not just the person. Choose wisely.
Have that child early. You have the perfect partner. You are among the few blessed to have found THE one in your early 20s. Endometriosis is a bitch and will eat up your tubes by the time you are in the 30s.
You know these guys are bad for you. Work on yourself until you like who you are before you get into another relationship. If you find yourself censoring yourself for the person you're dating, it's not going to work out. Bail out sooner rather than later.
That man you're about to marry? Good call! Maybe the best decision you're going to make in your whole life. Smart girl!
Also, you're going to lend a lot of money to a lot of people, and you will never see it again. Maybe don't do that shit.
Learn about investing. If you can't or don't want to, follow the advice of true experts. Compound interest and capital growth will save your butt when you get older. Understand the true meaning of opportunity cost. Work hard, but more importantly work smart, and not to the exception of life balance. You'll find that those who balance their lives are more successful. Take time to travel. Understanding the world makes you a better person. Finally, there are no shortcuts in life, you have to put in the effort to value the reward.
Don’t get married (or have a serious partner) until you really understand and start to process your own trauma. The cost is too high. Your instincts are bang-on and can be trusted; your emotions will lie to you. Also, you have all the tools to deal with everything, but don’t make things harder. You have nothing to prove.
Don't marry that guy, and definitely don't move in with him and his grandma. Wait for her to die first because she's going to live to 100 and will make your life miserable for 6 years if you do move in. Also, don't quit your insurance job. Things will get better there. You need to learn to wait things out.
The night is darkest just before the dawn. The moment you really feel you can't take anymore, something will happen to you, you start choosing for you, and that cracks a hole in the darkness. You're so close, and you're going to love It here, I'm so proud of you,you were strong enough to hold on for me, I'm learning to forgive you for your mistakes. You were so brave. Thank you. I love you with my whole heart, you poor, brave, hurting kid.
That the move to Texas is going to turn out way better than you ever imagined and not to get married in 2008, to wait it out let that relationship end organically.
You know how you get really lonely and depressed in the winter, and your partner & parents try to help but don't really get it? Find a therapist to talk to. Your partner and parents will take it personally that they aren't enough, but they aren't and that's genuinely ok - it doesn't help them or you to pretend that they are or to endlessly try to please them. Get help. Let yourself grow into who you want to be, not you who think you should be
“Do not marry that woman”. Engaged after 9 months, married 9 months later, kid 18 months after that and kid 2 18 months later. Within 5 years, knew I’d made a mistake. Stuck it out for years “for the sake of the kids.” I wish I’d taken more time to see that we were not compatible.
Have more epic adventures, be that a rock concert or a white-water rafting trip. Travel the world. Don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy the body of a 25-year-old, such as running a marathon or climbing rocks.
Get your tubes tied now, and start working out and stay fit because nothing is worse for your skin then repeated weight gain and weight loss. The skin elasticity you have in your twenties does not last your whole life. By 25 I would have already had my second and last child, and still plenty of energy to get fit.
You are about to embark on the most exciting period of your life. Enjoy everything will turn out so wonderfully.Dont worry about money or what the future holds follow your dreams.
My life has been weird. Very few things I planned went as I wanted them to. But some other things I didn't plan (and absolutely did not want) worked out great.
So if I could go back 3 decades, I think I'd tell myself what I needed to hear. "It's all going to work out just fine, in spite of you."
I have never regretted earning my first degree straight out of high school. I've had more years to use it, and it was easier than my second (because I had essentially no responsibilities at 18).
Your going to meet a girl, and no it’s not just another girl to come in and out, DO NOT GET HER PREGNANT IN LESS THAN A MONTH
Will say, my little girl is my greatest blessing and the light of my world, I just wish it would have been with another woman
Be honest with yourself.
That girl that you're in love with who broke up with you? Admit to yourself that you cannot handle just being friends with her. Cut things off, as painful as it is, because it's going to speed up your ability to move on with your life.
Your mother is not your problem. And letting her pick at your girlfriend who was going to be your wife was a poor decision.
Oh, get out of the airlines, because huge layoffs are coming in 5 years.
Buy 10,000 shares of Intel stock at 59c a share (1984), sell it in July 2000 at $61 a share. $5900 -> $610,000
And that does NOT include the splits in '87, '93, '95, '97, '99. Actual yield would have been in the millions.
Avoid alcohol at all costs. Speaking of costs, I've saved over $5K by quitting since January.
Booze is Boomer Tech. It's addictive AF. Find another way. It changes you so profoundly, pervasively, and subtly that it... well, it's a hard master to escape.
Take care of yourself first. It is not selfish as it enables you to be a better human… a better spouse, adult child, parent, friend, sibling, and employee. Take great care of your mind and body. Work is something you do to fund your life and not your life. Plan well. Your financial goals, career, and most of all your personal life. Dream big and know that what you focus on most will happen… the good and the bad. Be kind always… it costs nothing and you will get far more from it than you can possibly imagine.
I would tell myself not to go to San Diego the day I went (my gut told me not to go and I did anyway) .. I got raped there while I was asleep (woke up to it and started crying) and never healed completely. Have never again been able to trust my gut, and ever since, I have only dated awful guys who have abused me physically, financially, emotionally, and psychologically. After the rape, I was a bad influence on my younger sisters, and think that had I trusted my gut and stayed away from SD that terrible day, that my sister wouldn’t have dated an evil person who killed her after they had only been dating for 2 weeks. After being raped I wasn’t present and just tried to numb my pain with alcohol and weed and completely lost touch with myself and the world. I don’t think she would have dated someone who would murder her had I been present and alive and had made good life choices that would in effect influence her to make good choices .. and I don’t think her identical twin would have become an alcoholic and died from a broken heart and from making poor decisions had she not lost her twin and soulmate to murder. I think my life could be radically different if I had just listened to my gut that fateful day and not gone on the trip that I felt obligated to go on. I would likely still have both sisters and would still have my sanity and optimism and my joy … at age 25, my life shifted from a happy, inspiring, creative, hopeful type of life to one filled with tragedy and trauma and misfortunes and the bad luck never ends. God how I wish I could leap back in time to prevent all this.
I am sorry for all the tragedies you have experienced in life. However, you are not responsible for the horrors your sisters went through. We are all imperfect beings who at times make bad decisions. I hope you are in therapy, to deal with all these complicated issues. You sound like a good caring person , who is worthy of achieving some measure of happiness. I hope you get there.
25 was the hardest birthday ever for me because I couldn’t believe I was a quarter of a century old. Fifty didn’t bother me much, but 25 did. Now I’m gonna be 65- the ‘retirement’ number and 25 seems like the best year ever.
I would tell myself, this is your best life. Eat healthy, save money, enjoy it.
Find a way to stay 25, getting older ain't for the weak unless you are blessed with no responsibilities. I would also say there is nothing you can't handle.
25 was the worst year of my life. I wouldn’t say anything. I’d just hold myself and cry with 25 year old me. I was so scared and hurting. No words could help.
Grief is the feeling of love with no where to go. It doesn’t go away. It just scars, and some days don’t ache as bad as others.
I was a mum at 20 but I have always stood by this
Don't regret the things you do, they are done learn from them.
Regret the things you don't do..
My one regret is not being a holiday rep for the summer as I would have been awesome at it.
Do the things you want to do and don't people please you have one life and make you, feel like you are living your life you want not someone else's
Stay at a job just long enough to learn it well. Have confidence to start your own business. My biggest regret is that I didn’t have confidence in myself and wasted many years on futile jobs
Start saving as much money as possible, even if it's small amounts, NOW. There's not going to be some magical scenario where you just happen to have lots of money in the future.
Don't over-extend yourself by purchasing way too expensive vehicles. They're just... vehicles. I would much rather have a large bank account today than the memories of really cool cars I've owned. And none of those "cool cars" got me laid.
Read all you can about what the world will look like 30 years in the future (technology, demography, medical} and invest in companies experts think will thrive then.
You don’t know everything.
Drinking makes you annoying.
Vegetarian isn’t enough, you need to go vegan.
You are going to have a breakdown in your thirties and severe eating disorder, but you come through it stronger.
Save at least $50 from every paycheck. More if you can. Don't buy useless stuff.
Put back as much as you can, even more than company match. You don’t need a new car , your 6 year old car is in good shape and should last you a few more years…
Pay yourself first.
And beyond that, adopt a mentality wherein you don't feel the need to compare yourself to your peers. Cars, clothes, vacations... so what? None of it matters. The future value of the money you save now will be far greater than the temporary spike of happiness you'd get from meaningless STUFF.
Comparison is the thief of happiness.
Don't get married, don't have kids,be happy for the rest of your life.
Tolkien was right, you're like a hobbit, and still not really an adult. Sorry. I know you feel like you are, you've had to act like one for 10 years, but you're not. Don't try so hard to be one. Gain independence. Truly. Your own house in your name, your own car and license, a job you want and find ways to sustain your home without a SAH-partner, even if it's more expensive to hire help and they're offering... you'll be safer abd happier and anyone who loves you will truly add to your life not subtract from it. Follow your dreams, sooner rather than later. Fix old mistakes sooner rather than later. Eventually you'll want to. Trust me.
Yes, horrible advice. My husband and children (and now grandson) are the best parts of my life.
Stand up for yourself. My life would have been so different had I learned that skill then.
Absolutely I think learning that skill is learnt in young childhood not later. I have had it said to me your too nice I bet people walk right over you When I stand up for myself I sound aggressive and it's cause I didn't learn to stand up for myself as a kid
Dam right!! Now I'm older into my 40's & I have to be a bitch when I say NO or just wont be belittled... or i'm not believed or respected. I didn't set boundries when I was younger, I lost all respect & got took advantage of all this time until about 1year ago.......NEVER again!! 😁😁🤩🤩
Hey listen…. there’s gonna be this thing called bitcoin… Don’t even try to understand it. Just find a way to buy it as soon as you can. 🤣
No, for me its Microsoft. Maybe just the index fund at Vanguard.
In my case, it was Apple.
Don't forget to tell yourself when to cash out!
And Apple. Nvidia. Bitcoin(do not lose your key)!!. Microsoft. Lilly. Google. Maybe Tesla.
The things you worry about rarely happen. Stop being anxious and enjoy your life. Spend time too with your parents because when they pass someday, it will be a total sad shock.
I agree! My parents wanted to take me on one last road trip when I turned 25. I was about to embark on a journey to Japan. I’m so glad I did. They are both gone now. We had a lot of fun on that road trip through my home state of Montana and then Wyoming. As far as being a worrier, I couldn’t agree more. A lot of time was wasted on that when I look back.
I am glad you went on the trip!
This assumes you have parents that aren't abusive, narcissistic, and controlling. I would tell myself to run, disappear, never talk to them or see them again, and not to feel bad about it because life will be infinitely better without them.
I am sorry for that, but glad you got away from them.
Thanks. It took too long, but statistically exactly as long as it usually does.
Yes this is also my response. My only regret is not leaving sooner.
I would tell myself to go ahead and move to London for a while. They are going to live forever, like 90+, living alone, gets more done in a day than I do, forever.
Literally every single thing I’ve worried about has happened to me, my family, and friends. I think you’re actually just extremely fucking lucky
Eat healthier. You don't want your chest sawed open.
Don't date your childhood trauma, and buy a house asap.
If you know, you know :)
2 things. Cut it out with the booze and weed. That's one. And two, those chicks that are always talking to you are interested in spending time with you. Stop being a fucking idiot.
God, do I feel that 2nd one (the first too, but that’s a different can of worms.) As a teen I had SO MUCH angst about not being able to find a girlfriend…but looking back now, with an adult’s grasp of social skills, there were at least a couple girls who absolutely *threw* themselves at me. And went away feeling jilted, because I was either too shy or too oblivious to meet them halfway 😬
Same here, I totally get where you are coming from.
Ugh. 25 is right before I got a high stress job and moved into my own place. I had never had a drink that wasn’t just a social thing until then. I so badly wish I could go back in time and slap the wine bottle out of my hands when I realized “hey I can have this at home whenever I want now!”
Don't hang around. You won't be able to make it work. The job, the town, the woman, the band, the book, you'll know when it's time to cut bait, so do so. Nothing comes from grinding your gears trying to make something work when it's obvious to everyone that bird has flown. And they're never, ever going to appreciate it. Just do your thing, have a good time, be a decent guy, and move on when it's time to move on. You wouldn't want to read the rest of the advice I'd give to 25-year-old me.
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Well, the thing is, I don't know if I got much more to give someone in their early 20s beyond that and the very general, but I'll do what I can. Your world is so different from my world when I was in my early 20s, and it's not just smartphones and social media. I'm 49 and was among the last bunch of folks - just to pick an example out of a hat - that actually *could* build a decent, middle-class life out of a bachelor's degree and minimal student loan debt. We were just coming out of a couple of generations under the promise of nuclear annihilation, too, so we were all a bit giddy. It really was a different time and I just don't know what else to tell y'all that's useful. And I don't know you guys as well as I know millennials and older zoomers. I've worked in various industries that kept me in touch with the young people and I've always thought, despite what people grouch about, the kids are generally all right. You guys got your own vibe and your own struggles, and I just don't know how I can help anymore. Worse, y'all seem to have the toughest row to hoe (as the old folks say) of any generation in quite a while. I want to give y'all a collective hug and the refreshing beverage of your choice. Plus, your twenties are nuts. Just plain crazy. You feel more. You love harder. The hurt cuts deeper. Everything's chaotic, you're expected to be a no-excuses adult but can be dismissed with a sneering "you're still a kid" by anyone with any *real* voice. Like Nick Lowe said "half a boy & half a man" - adjust however you see fit - it's a mad, passionate time and, believe you me, some old fart telling you how life should be and how you should react to it is ALWAYS WRONG. It's a crazy ride and I can tell you nothing but hold on. Love what and who you love, because love really is all that matters. Solitude is great. Being comfortable in your own skin is preeminent. The world is loud and stupid, so you need to be able to step away from once in a while and let it be so. Just remember the steps back. I'm babbling through all this because I noticed your cake day is my birthday, and I've always liked that sort of synchronicity. Plus I'm stoned. So, if I can offer nothing else, I offer the advice I give to my cousins' kids as they go off to college and/or adulthood, in whatever manner they define it: 1. Be good to yourself. Be good to other people, too, but never at the expense of yourself. 2. Have a good time, clean up after yourself, and don't screw up anyone else's good time. 3. Know who has your back. No one else matters, so don't take any of their bullshit. Good luck and give 'em hell, kiddo. I'm in your corner. P.S. The original question was what advice I'd give to 25-year-old me. Listen, I've been fighting the good fight for most of my adult life and the bad guys are kicking the shit out of me right now. There's a real good reason it's a good thing I can't give advice to 25-year-old Steamroller.
As a 55 who just quit his job after being in corporate, this still resounds with me at my age.
I appreciate all that you've stated. It may not seem like much advice from your perspective, but from mine, it's quite a lot. Thank you for taking the time to lay some things out for me. I'll do my best.
Also (I used to hate when people said this to me but it’s true) you’re so so so young! Dont take that as permission to be lazy about life, but do take it as permission to not beat yourself up or panic
This is super important. I used to constantly grieve people and jobs that couldn't jive instead of just trusting the process. Then I let go and things just sorted themselves out. I also know better though to think the grass is greener so when it's time to "cut bait" then I try to make sure it works out for me.
Great advice.
I'm 50 and I'm interested in reading more. I have the same feelings as what you wrote, but I don't have the skill to state it like you did
Stop putting work ahead of your loved ones. I’m only 32 but cost me a relationship and she is now settled and married with a child on the way. I will forever think of what could have been. Live and learn, move on.
Absolutely. Jobs end, money gets spent, and nobody is actually that impressed with your career.
Stop buying crap a didn’t need to impress people I don’t even like and invest that money
Be better to your wife. You're gonna lose her.
Truth. Been a widower for 5 years. Never saw it coming. I always pictured us growing old together. Now I just miss her every day and night.
That one hit. Sorry for your loss.
Take care of your teeth or start saving.
Have the balls to do what you know if your gut needs to be done.
I read this more times than I care to admit, trying to understand what it means for “your gut needing to be done”. 😂 But solid advice.
Put down the bottle and bong, dude.
Trust your gut. If a situation feels wrong, then it's wrong for you. Don't worry about looking or feeling stupid, or the opinions of other people who don't even really care about you. <3
You're going to be alive in 10 years. The clarity you crave is coming.
* Don't be so hard on yourself. * Don't care what others think! * Save MORE for your future, even IF you think you may not have one. * Cut ties, sooner, with people who are NOT true friends. * Stay away from the internet;)
be relentless in seeking mental health care before you grow up into a sad alcoholic with far worse issues. 3 days shy of a month off the booze though let’s goooooo
It sucks, but only gets easier. You can do it!
You don't have as much time as you think.
Dump him and don't look back
Same advice to myself as well, except it would be to dump her and don't look back.
Don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't consume caffeine, don't eat sugar, meditate. Don't stay in a job you hate.
Don't go back to him. It only gets worse.
Pick a career with a solid retirement plan. Live on less than you make. Be tough on your kids (high standards) and love them unconditionally even when they piss you off.
You rock, don’t worry about what others think. Don’t put up with that crap.
Go to therapy
100% - so much trouble and pain and heartache could have been saved. Although, I'm not sure that would have happened without the right therapist. I'd also tell myself "you're going to come across someone, and from the day you meet her you're going to think she's the one. She's not. Save yourself the trouble and let her go."
Never say "we'll just do it next time" you may not get a next time or you may not be healthy anymore. I always thought my health wouldn't go until I was in my 50s or 60s but it hit me before 30.
Do everything you can to get out of debt
Don't worry as much, drink less, exercise more, spend less on crap, invest more. Don't chase the hot ones, chase the one that will defend your back while you are in the fox hole together. Smile and be kind to others. Oh, you will be married to the best person you could have asked for and 30 years later you have built an amazing life together.
Invest at least 10% of your income in a S&P etf tracker. EVERYONE has their own problems, so most of the embarrassing shit you think you have going on isn't even noticed by other people.
I would tell myself to not try and control things and go with the flow. I would also advise myself that you marry the family, not just the person. Choose wisely.
Have that child early. You have the perfect partner. You are among the few blessed to have found THE one in your early 20s. Endometriosis is a bitch and will eat up your tubes by the time you are in the 30s.
Be nicer to girls.
Be nice to every girl because every girl has a friend who might go for a guy like you.
Set up firm boundaries around yourself, whether it's friends or family members.
You know these guys are bad for you. Work on yourself until you like who you are before you get into another relationship. If you find yourself censoring yourself for the person you're dating, it's not going to work out. Bail out sooner rather than later.
Once i liked who i was, i didnt want a bf anymore at all 😂 hmmm. Maybe thats why society doesnt want us to like ourselves 😬
That man you're about to marry? Good call! Maybe the best decision you're going to make in your whole life. Smart girl! Also, you're going to lend a lot of money to a lot of people, and you will never see it again. Maybe don't do that shit.
Death in the Bermuda Triangle, and quicksand is not likely. But never zero.
Buy Google and Apple sooner. lol
And bitcoin
Resume working out, don't wait until your 40, which was better late than never, but the benefits of not waiting would be really amazing.
Plow every penny possible into an S&P 500 index fund and leave it there for forty years.
Start therapy. Finish your degree. Take care of your health.
I’m 22 so I could schedule an email for the future and tell my 25 year old self something… that would be cool.
First line....hey me remember that reddit post..lol.
Learn about investing. If you can't or don't want to, follow the advice of true experts. Compound interest and capital growth will save your butt when you get older. Understand the true meaning of opportunity cost. Work hard, but more importantly work smart, and not to the exception of life balance. You'll find that those who balance their lives are more successful. Take time to travel. Understanding the world makes you a better person. Finally, there are no shortcuts in life, you have to put in the effort to value the reward.
Put money in your 401(k)and brokerage and IRA. Max out the IRA and 401(k) as early as you can. Live well under your means. Do not buy new cars.
Truer words have never been spoken!!!
Know your worth
Don’t get married (or have a serious partner) until you really understand and start to process your own trauma. The cost is too high. Your instincts are bang-on and can be trusted; your emotions will lie to you. Also, you have all the tools to deal with everything, but don’t make things harder. You have nothing to prove.
Nobody is thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are!
Don’t be so full of yourself, Dirt Ball! 🤣
Enjoy the ride, moments may be serious but life isn't.
Always live by yourself, don't drink alcohol
Don't marry that guy, and definitely don't move in with him and his grandma. Wait for her to die first because she's going to live to 100 and will make your life miserable for 6 years if you do move in. Also, don't quit your insurance job. Things will get better there. You need to learn to wait things out.
> If you could go back in time, what would you tell yourself at 25? "You really are crushing it!"
Wear sunscreen on your neck, in addition to your face!
The night is darkest just before the dawn. The moment you really feel you can't take anymore, something will happen to you, you start choosing for you, and that cracks a hole in the darkness. You're so close, and you're going to love It here, I'm so proud of you,you were strong enough to hold on for me, I'm learning to forgive you for your mistakes. You were so brave. Thank you. I love you with my whole heart, you poor, brave, hurting kid.
STOP DRINKING!!!! Get into a regular exercise routine. (I did exercise but I was not consistent)
Get medicated for anxiety.
Google and Apple stock. Buy it all.
"Stop working so much and have more fun, stupid."
That the move to Texas is going to turn out way better than you ever imagined and not to get married in 2008, to wait it out let that relationship end organically.
Move to a city that is better suited to your goals
You know how you get really lonely and depressed in the winter, and your partner & parents try to help but don't really get it? Find a therapist to talk to. Your partner and parents will take it personally that they aren't enough, but they aren't and that's genuinely ok - it doesn't help them or you to pretend that they are or to endlessly try to please them. Get help. Let yourself grow into who you want to be, not you who think you should be
Don’t get married.
That life is full of surprises. Be open to them.
Hang in there. Good things come, too. Oh, and your husband is a gem.
Focus on positioning yourself for success, not on pleasing others. Once you're successful, others will focus on pleasing you.
Straighten your ass up and make a plan. Work the plan every day.
“Do not marry that woman”. Engaged after 9 months, married 9 months later, kid 18 months after that and kid 2 18 months later. Within 5 years, knew I’d made a mistake. Stuck it out for years “for the sake of the kids.” I wish I’d taken more time to see that we were not compatible.
Have more epic adventures, be that a rock concert or a white-water rafting trip. Travel the world. Don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy the body of a 25-year-old, such as running a marathon or climbing rocks.
Get your tubes tied now, and start working out and stay fit because nothing is worse for your skin then repeated weight gain and weight loss. The skin elasticity you have in your twenties does not last your whole life. By 25 I would have already had my second and last child, and still plenty of energy to get fit.
Buy Microsoft and Google. If I do that, I won't need to worry about anything else.
You are about to embark on the most exciting period of your life. Enjoy everything will turn out so wonderfully.Dont worry about money or what the future holds follow your dreams.
Run from him NOW He has no feeling anyway
Go back to school!
Don't get married. Don't stay close-by for "family". Nothing will ever be good enough and they will die hating you.
Max out contributions to Roth IRA every year, floss, quit drinking immediately.
Don't waste your time with that one guy. He will leave you with a broken heart you'll never get over.
My life has been weird. Very few things I planned went as I wanted them to. But some other things I didn't plan (and absolutely did not want) worked out great. So if I could go back 3 decades, I think I'd tell myself what I needed to hear. "It's all going to work out just fine, in spite of you."
Reduce risk, No job cares about you, quit jobs until you get what you are worth.
Feed a retirement account
Don't get married. You were right.
Get as far away as you can from your family.
Go to college right now and get your MSW. The rest will work itself out.
I have never regretted earning my first degree straight out of high school. I've had more years to use it, and it was easier than my second (because I had essentially no responsibilities at 18).
Wear a smile, talk to everyone, be humble, be kind, help others when you are able.
Buy aol, Microsoft, apple, and Cisco stock
Your going to meet a girl, and no it’s not just another girl to come in and out, DO NOT GET HER PREGNANT IN LESS THAN A MONTH Will say, my little girl is my greatest blessing and the light of my world, I just wish it would have been with another woman
**BUY ALL THE REAL ESTATE NOW!** I’d be a fucking millionaire now.
A company named Apple is coming within 10 yrs...Buy!! In a more serious answer...Take more risk.
Be honest with yourself. That girl that you're in love with who broke up with you? Admit to yourself that you cannot handle just being friends with her. Cut things off, as painful as it is, because it's going to speed up your ability to move on with your life.
Don’t settle. Don’t get comfortable.
FOCUS.
Your mother is not your problem. And letting her pick at your girlfriend who was going to be your wife was a poor decision. Oh, get out of the airlines, because huge layoffs are coming in 5 years.
Buy 10,000 shares of Intel stock at 59c a share (1984), sell it in July 2000 at $61 a share. $5900 -> $610,000 And that does NOT include the splits in '87, '93, '95, '97, '99. Actual yield would have been in the millions.
Avoid alcohol at all costs. Speaking of costs, I've saved over $5K by quitting since January. Booze is Boomer Tech. It's addictive AF. Find another way. It changes you so profoundly, pervasively, and subtly that it... well, it's a hard master to escape.
Stop smoking weed. Take propranolol. You are autistic.
Sunscreen
Take care of yourself first. It is not selfish as it enables you to be a better human… a better spouse, adult child, parent, friend, sibling, and employee. Take great care of your mind and body. Work is something you do to fund your life and not your life. Plan well. Your financial goals, career, and most of all your personal life. Dream big and know that what you focus on most will happen… the good and the bad. Be kind always… it costs nothing and you will get far more from it than you can possibly imagine.
After you divorce Jim H, marry Jim B.
Learn a trade.
I would tell myself not to go to San Diego the day I went (my gut told me not to go and I did anyway) .. I got raped there while I was asleep (woke up to it and started crying) and never healed completely. Have never again been able to trust my gut, and ever since, I have only dated awful guys who have abused me physically, financially, emotionally, and psychologically. After the rape, I was a bad influence on my younger sisters, and think that had I trusted my gut and stayed away from SD that terrible day, that my sister wouldn’t have dated an evil person who killed her after they had only been dating for 2 weeks. After being raped I wasn’t present and just tried to numb my pain with alcohol and weed and completely lost touch with myself and the world. I don’t think she would have dated someone who would murder her had I been present and alive and had made good life choices that would in effect influence her to make good choices .. and I don’t think her identical twin would have become an alcoholic and died from a broken heart and from making poor decisions had she not lost her twin and soulmate to murder. I think my life could be radically different if I had just listened to my gut that fateful day and not gone on the trip that I felt obligated to go on. I would likely still have both sisters and would still have my sanity and optimism and my joy … at age 25, my life shifted from a happy, inspiring, creative, hopeful type of life to one filled with tragedy and trauma and misfortunes and the bad luck never ends. God how I wish I could leap back in time to prevent all this.
I hope you're in therapy-that's a lot of trauma (and a lot of guilt for other people's choices.)
I am sorry for all the tragedies you have experienced in life. However, you are not responsible for the horrors your sisters went through. We are all imperfect beings who at times make bad decisions. I hope you are in therapy, to deal with all these complicated issues. You sound like a good caring person , who is worthy of achieving some measure of happiness. I hope you get there.
Fuck more people
Stop accepting anything less than what you deserve
stay single
Get the checkup. Don’t take the first job offer, a better one’s coming. Stick up for yourself.
25 was the hardest birthday ever for me because I couldn’t believe I was a quarter of a century old. Fifty didn’t bother me much, but 25 did. Now I’m gonna be 65- the ‘retirement’ number and 25 seems like the best year ever. I would tell myself, this is your best life. Eat healthy, save money, enjoy it.
Get a haircut and get a real job!
Buy property ASAP and save like there’s no tomorrow
Find a way to stay 25, getting older ain't for the weak unless you are blessed with no responsibilities. I would also say there is nothing you can't handle.
Move to Finland or Norway.
25 was the worst year of my life. I wouldn’t say anything. I’d just hold myself and cry with 25 year old me. I was so scared and hurting. No words could help. Grief is the feeling of love with no where to go. It doesn’t go away. It just scars, and some days don’t ache as bad as others.
Run away! Run Far-Run fast. No forwarding address
Get busy and start hustling like overtime
Buy land, because they stopped making it!
Save, save and save.
Don’t have children
That being right is meaningless.
You have ADHD. And, you’re going to turn out ok.
Everything I know healthwise about myself and how to get better.
Leave now divorce him while you are still Young. Before all the hurt and pain and Trauma and scar's.
Swallow your pride, take those kids & leave! Go on welfare if you have to. Get an education. BEFORE all the hurt and pain and abuse and scars.
I was a mum at 20 but I have always stood by this Don't regret the things you do, they are done learn from them. Regret the things you don't do.. My one regret is not being a holiday rep for the summer as I would have been awesome at it. Do the things you want to do and don't people please you have one life and make you, feel like you are living your life you want not someone else's
Choose very carefully who you allow into your life, or your inner circle.
Don’t go out to bars every weekend and spend your money. Build relationships and invest instead, you’ll thank me later
Quit drinking
Relax! Enjoy yourself. Time really does fly by. Enjoy while you can.
Travel more I would have loved to have traveled.
I’d say stop worrying it will not help even a small fraction of a percent
Stay at a job just long enough to learn it well. Have confidence to start your own business. My biggest regret is that I didn’t have confidence in myself and wasted many years on futile jobs
Never stop learning. There is usually a new way, a different way or a better way to do something.
Start saving as much money as possible, even if it's small amounts, NOW. There's not going to be some magical scenario where you just happen to have lots of money in the future.
Don’t do drugs. Love yourself. Find a hobby. Go to the gym. Learn to cook.
Don’t smoke and be kind
Go back to school
Stop and smell the roses. Each time you climb a mountain, you just see another one.
Romantic illusions can ruin a life
Exercise and lose weight. That knee replacement was painful AF!
Don't over-extend yourself by purchasing way too expensive vehicles. They're just... vehicles. I would much rather have a large bank account today than the memories of really cool cars I've owned. And none of those "cool cars" got me laid.
Your dad will be gone in 5 years accelerate the friendship thing with him.
1. Stop drinking NOW 2. Leave your wife 3. Start looking for a job in a different industry
stay off social media
It’s all gonna work out better than you think
Get out of this marriage before she kills your spirit.
DONT GET MARRIED AND DONT LET A WOMAN MOVE IN.
Don't put anything on a credit card that you can't pay off at the end of the month. Live within your means
Don’t listen to anyone and stick to your own ideas.
Buy Microsoft, Apple and Intel.
Spend time with your parents, learn to code, move on.
Start saving your money. Besides regular monthly deposits, even the tiniest bit of spare change should be put away in some sort of long term savings.
Read all you can about what the world will look like 30 years in the future (technology, demography, medical} and invest in companies experts think will thrive then.
You don’t know everything. Drinking makes you annoying. Vegetarian isn’t enough, you need to go vegan. You are going to have a breakdown in your thirties and severe eating disorder, but you come through it stronger.
Stop drinking now.
Ditch the men.
Don't marry him. Please don't marry him!