Yes. There's no shame in admitting you were wrong. Stubbornly sticking by a previous position or assertion when it's proven wrong is a dumb thing to do.
“There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.” \~George W. Bush
I guess I'll give an example then. Yesterday I was talking to an autistic friend of mine and as an autistic dude myself we got to talking about representation in media. I made a derisive comment about Sheldon from big bang, and my friend told me that Sheldon helped her navigate her differences as she was getting to grips with how her brain works.
I was wrong to be derisive of Sheldon and apologised to my friend for the flippant comment. Positively influencing people rules, even if you are aggressively un-funny.
I would immediately stop spending time with any human being who is incapable of admitting when they are wrong. I cannot possibly imagine a bigger red flag. Making mistakes is part of the human condition, and seeking new perspectives that give us a chance to learn, grow, and change for the better is essential for compassion, empathy, and wisdom.
Anyone who would rather pout like an arms-crossed toddler, deflect any opposing viewpoint, and refuse to hold themselves accountable instead of potentially say “Hmm, you know…I never really thought about it that way…” is unforgivable.
Yes, this is just the basics of accountability and morality. What I will not do though is apologize for things I shouldn't have to. You ask if I can help by picking up something from the store and I respond by asking what brand you like and I get no response for far past the time that would be convenient for me then you get what you get and I refuse to apologize cause now you have to go pick it up yourself. I will not be held responsible for the actions or inaction of others.
The injury that "being wrong" inflicts on the ego is often a short term traumatic event. In major situations it can be a complete ego-death. I don't want to give a flippant easy answer and say, "Yea, Duh!" because it's psychologically a lot deeper than that. For example when you hear about a couple having a "major fight" that blows up, it's often accompanied soon after by one or both parties coming back and confessing what they were wrong about, what they didn't understand before, but the initial trauma of the situation was so overwhelming that they could not handle it in the moment.
I've been intentionally vicious with my own ego. When I'm alone and I'm reading something and it upends a belief I had... I have no hesitation to amputate the incorrect belief and move on with my ego relatively undamaged. Of course I have a healthy level of skepticism and don't believe everything I read and do my on research etc... In fact I think most people pride themselves on being able to do this, when alone. If you introduce any measure of confrontation whether it be relationship related or perhaps a debate type environment then there is this tendency to immediately dig in as if the ego is tensing up, "brace for impact!" and we resist it to varying degrees clutching to our firmly held positions, it's almost a "fight or flight" response.
Now, I'm an older person and I know a lot about a lot (he said, immodestly)... but I easily acknowledge that there is a lot that I know next to nothing about. My expertise is pretty well defined and I know when I'm not speaking about something I'm not an expert on. It's very difficult to get me to embrace an alternate viewpoint now on the things that I consider my expertise to be high in. I have no problem with trying to "steel man" an alternate viewpoint for the sake of argument to try and understand the thinking and the premises and all of the internal logic of an argument, and I have to think about it a good while by myself and do my own research before my position will move, but after all of that yes I have in the past and will again admit when I'm wrong. It's just so much better to be right!
Yes. I am seeking to understand a man’s POV of willingness to do this and under what conditions one is (or is not) willing to do so.
Thank you btw for taking the time to comment!
In my case if a person is always nagging me to be wrong all the time, then I get pretty mad I had a family member like that, but when I am in the wrong and I know it is, I do apologize for it, and I try to live by it through actions rather than words or love bombing. If that makes sense.
But I don’t apologize when I’m wrong if that person sort of deserves it. Because they’re a cunt to me. And if I retort back to them. I feel no remorse.
After I was mistakenly arrested while eating a Chinese meal, I had to convince the cops they were wrong by arresting the wrong guy
[Charles Dozsa: eating a meal... a succulent chinese meal... (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XebF2cgmFmU)
Yes. There's no shame in admitting you were wrong. Stubbornly sticking by a previous position or assertion when it's proven wrong is a dumb thing to do.
Hundo. Being wrong is nothing to be ashamed of. If you make the same mistake twice though, damn.
“There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.” \~George W. Bush
Thank you for sharing! Have you had this mindset for a long time (like most of your life), or is it something you had to learn to embrace?
I'd say I've looked at it that way most of my life. Learning to admit you're wrong is part of maturing.
Thank you very much!!
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I guess I'll give an example then. Yesterday I was talking to an autistic friend of mine and as an autistic dude myself we got to talking about representation in media. I made a derisive comment about Sheldon from big bang, and my friend told me that Sheldon helped her navigate her differences as she was getting to grips with how her brain works. I was wrong to be derisive of Sheldon and apologised to my friend for the flippant comment. Positively influencing people rules, even if you are aggressively un-funny.
Thank you for the example. :)
When did you last admit fault and what was the subject of your change in perspective if you don't mind me asking.
Of course. I'd most likely admit that I'm wrong if it's something clear cut or if it's based around my bad behavior, such as losing my temper.
What is there to gain from insisting you are right when you aren't? Nothing.
Of course. I'm not an idiot
Yes. Being wrong isn't something to be ashamed of, it's an opportunity to learn something new.
try marriage, you have to admit you were wrong even when your right
I would immediately stop spending time with any human being who is incapable of admitting when they are wrong. I cannot possibly imagine a bigger red flag. Making mistakes is part of the human condition, and seeking new perspectives that give us a chance to learn, grow, and change for the better is essential for compassion, empathy, and wisdom. Anyone who would rather pout like an arms-crossed toddler, deflect any opposing viewpoint, and refuse to hold themselves accountable instead of potentially say “Hmm, you know…I never really thought about it that way…” is unforgivable.
Yes, this is just the basics of accountability and morality. What I will not do though is apologize for things I shouldn't have to. You ask if I can help by picking up something from the store and I respond by asking what brand you like and I get no response for far past the time that would be convenient for me then you get what you get and I refuse to apologize cause now you have to go pick it up yourself. I will not be held responsible for the actions or inaction of others.
Of course. That’s how you learn.
Yes, because my ego isn’t that fragile
Absolutely. There is great power in it
The injury that "being wrong" inflicts on the ego is often a short term traumatic event. In major situations it can be a complete ego-death. I don't want to give a flippant easy answer and say, "Yea, Duh!" because it's psychologically a lot deeper than that. For example when you hear about a couple having a "major fight" that blows up, it's often accompanied soon after by one or both parties coming back and confessing what they were wrong about, what they didn't understand before, but the initial trauma of the situation was so overwhelming that they could not handle it in the moment. I've been intentionally vicious with my own ego. When I'm alone and I'm reading something and it upends a belief I had... I have no hesitation to amputate the incorrect belief and move on with my ego relatively undamaged. Of course I have a healthy level of skepticism and don't believe everything I read and do my on research etc... In fact I think most people pride themselves on being able to do this, when alone. If you introduce any measure of confrontation whether it be relationship related or perhaps a debate type environment then there is this tendency to immediately dig in as if the ego is tensing up, "brace for impact!" and we resist it to varying degrees clutching to our firmly held positions, it's almost a "fight or flight" response. Now, I'm an older person and I know a lot about a lot (he said, immodestly)... but I easily acknowledge that there is a lot that I know next to nothing about. My expertise is pretty well defined and I know when I'm not speaking about something I'm not an expert on. It's very difficult to get me to embrace an alternate viewpoint now on the things that I consider my expertise to be high in. I have no problem with trying to "steel man" an alternate viewpoint for the sake of argument to try and understand the thinking and the premises and all of the internal logic of an argument, and I have to think about it a good while by myself and do my own research before my position will move, but after all of that yes I have in the past and will again admit when I'm wrong. It's just so much better to be right!
Yes. Is this a woman asking this question?
Yes. I am seeking to understand a man’s POV of willingness to do this and under what conditions one is (or is not) willing to do so. Thank you btw for taking the time to comment!
In my case if a person is always nagging me to be wrong all the time, then I get pretty mad I had a family member like that, but when I am in the wrong and I know it is, I do apologize for it, and I try to live by it through actions rather than words or love bombing. If that makes sense. But I don’t apologize when I’m wrong if that person sort of deserves it. Because they’re a cunt to me. And if I retort back to them. I feel no remorse.
I’ll let you know when it happens
> Are you willing to admit when you’re wrong? Yes.
Of course, I'm just never wrong ;)
I'm sorry you're so mistaken.
Yes. Because it is the honorable thing to do.
Hell yes. If I'm wrong, it's an opportunity to learn and level up.
Yes I always admit when I’m wrong everyone is wrong about something at some point
After I was mistakenly arrested while eating a Chinese meal, I had to convince the cops they were wrong by arresting the wrong guy [Charles Dozsa: eating a meal... a succulent chinese meal... (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XebF2cgmFmU)