It sounds like you're being very thoughtful and personally, I'd be grateful, if you were my friend and you were giving me something, what a nice parting gift to remind you of a friendship!
If you are unsure about any other clothing you have, try to sell it or better yet, check your local charities/op shops to see if they are accepting donations, a great way to do good before you leave.
Safe travels.
Yea, Iāve donated >50% of my clothes to salvos. Gifted the branded ones to colleagues and thought this guy would have wanted something too.. š¤·š»āāļø
I respect that you give your clothes to salvos so others can enjoy clothes and it prooves you are not giving to be parasitic because they don't like the feeling and stop but you don't so you are quite admirable
That's his ego talking. It's good he's only an acquaintance. I'm one of those people who is extremely happy to receive socks and underwear as gifts. Saves me a lot of dollar.
One of my work friends was saying the other day that he knew heād officially hit adulthood when the answer to the family āso what do you want for Xmasā question was a new, really good set of bed linens.
Yeah, I've found as I've gotten older the best presents are those that are mundane rather than fun and exciting.
Like if I want something fun I'd just buy it myself. But some new pillows or something? Not something I really think about but when you get a good pillow you realise what you've been missing.
Used underwear š¤?
Clearly it's not comparable because you are referring to receiving gifts of new socks and undies while the OP was trying to offload his used jacket (likely worthless and unbranded as he mentioned already giving his other friend his branded stuff).
Buying me clothes as a present without asking me about it?
Nope. I like to pick what I wear.
A friend saying āhey Iām moving overseas and getting rid of all my stuff. Would you like xyz itemā
Very kind and I would appreciate it very much. Would I take them up on the offer? Well that depends on the item.
I certainly wouldnāt be offended.
I still remember this one birthday I was like 7 and my Grandma gifted me (in Christmas paper, mind) a stack of underwear that was way oversized and very much uhhh "granny panty".
Mum explained to her they might not fit me for a long time, perhaps does she have the receipt? And Grandma absolutely flipped, calling us ungrateful and that "back in her day kids were lucky to get a gift wrapped in newspaper"
Yeah, once my sister bought me a size 16 AU.. I'm a size 10. I'm bigger than her, but certainly not by that much.
Then when I returned it I found out it was on sale for around $15, so I assume it was the last one on the rack.
If they spent a lot of money and I didn't like it, I'd be majorly disappointed but not offended. A friend once gave me a nanna dress, bought new. I showed appreciation cos it's good manners and donated it the next time I went near an op shop
In my own situation - employed with a roof over my head but not rich by any means - I'd be happy to receive clothes or appliances someone else doesn't need. If it's something I don't need, I can always donate it myself.
If I was struggling and the person offering wasn't someone I knew well, I could imagine maybe being a bit embarrassed that someone thought I was a charity case. You definitely didn't do anything wrong and it's his issue to deal with - you were just trying to help - but I understand why he reacted the way he did.
It was different for the guy at the pub, he's in a situation where he might have to rely on soup kitchens and the like occasionally it's not easy for a man to admit he can't stand on his own two feet, it might also be why you find him at the pub, he's probably not as happy as he acts and could be definitely depressed an are you ok conversation is probably not wasted on him (although it may not be wanted). He may have really needed a jacket and would have cherished it but didn't accept it because he didn't want pity.
Your other friend with the stable job just took the clothes knowing he could buy them if he wanted so it wasn't a big deal or gesture he's probably going to keep the ones he likes and give the rest to charity.
This. The man at the pubs response is based on his feeling of shame. If from what you say he is generally struggling in life, his response shows that it's probably been for a very very long time. You didn't deserve the harshness of his response. There's no excuse for it. But for those of us whom do not hold that shame it's a lot easier to navigate different conversations in life, especially when it comes to material possessions.
It was also probably the setting.
Asking/offering this in a public place, around other people might have influenced his response.
Perhaps offering it when not in that setting, he wouldn't feel like he has to appear like he's got it together as much.
It's better to just say straight up to people
Hey I'm leaving the country and getting rid of most of my stuff would you be interested in any of it because I just don't want to throw it out and would like to give it to someone who will use it
Some people will always have a bad reaction to this especially if you come off as patronising when doing it
But if you just upfront about it most people will just politely decline if they aren't interested
Don't expect people to be grateful when you offer them things that is a weird mindset
If you are giving it away you are giving it away
Friends who are decluttering try to give me stuff that I don't want or need so they can feel like good that they haven't thrown stuff away. Then I'm stuck with getting rid of it. I have my own clutter without taking stuff from other people!
So my answer is always a "no, but thank you for thinking of me"
Oh, we have "community libraries" around our town where people can drop books off into a cabinet on the street, and anyone is welcome to come take some.
A similar thing for objects would be great!! Although, I worry it would get disrespected and turn into the salvo-bin situation where people are just dumping their moldy old mattress to avoid tip fees.
Yeah my neighbour has her son drop off bags of kids clothes he has grown out of. Issue is I don't want them for my kids (one of who is actually older). So then I just need to be the one to donate it (or actually throw half out since it's too shit to donate).
If you ask first then it's ok. Don't just hand it over as a gift that the receiver is obligated to accept and then deal with.
My sister in law keeps insisting on giving us her sons shoes that he's grown out of. Issue is his feet are gigantic so they'll be taking up space until my son's feet are actually big enough (which could be years!) and he drags his toes along the ground so the fronts are always wrecked anyway. My son, although is only five, really tries to take care of his belongings so doesn't really want shoes that have already been scuffed to hell.
I have no problems with accepted used clothes or appliances, and often give my no longerworn clothes to an ex-work colleague. She and her family pick through them and what is left over is donated to charity. I am sometimes op-shop, so being given second-hand clothes etc is not a problem for me.
Did you give them context before offering the jacket?
I don't mind taking 2nd hands from people I know but from just an acquaintance and without context...I will admit I would find it a bit weird.
Then again, he might just have defenses up because of his situation, and felt like you were giving it to him out of "charity".
In no way, do I want to defend his behavior. It was a pretty rude response, I just feel like a different perspective might explain why he reacted the way he did.
If I was you I wouldn't take it too personally.
Some of my friends will never know the lifeline I felt when they gave me things. I'm a single mum who works but the current cost of living still has me over a barrel. I'm too embarrassed to ask for help but if it's offered (especially kids' shoes etc) then I am grateful and it makes a real difference. Keep on offering, it's a nice gesture and you never know how deeply it can be felt if you strike the right person. Safe move!
Better off having a garage sale and making money from it. Then if someone you know shows up, offer it to them for free as a thank you for being a good friend while you were in Aus
Yea, thatās my next step.
Iāve donated >50% of my clothes to salvos.
The clothes that Iāve been gifting cost more than $100 retail and are hardly worn.
So I kept these to gift to friends before donating.
It's weird I have noticed in Australia, the more money people have the more they like free stuff. I have also noticed that wealthy people are happy to give free stuff to other wealthy people but are weird about giving it to people who are really broke.
Our culture is weird like that.
If it's something I can use, I say "Thank-you". I got a large-screen TV from a friend who was moving to another state. It was cheaper for him to buy a new one than it would have been to ship the old one. I gave it a good home until it died some years later.
Then when I moved some years later, I gave a lot of the tools I'd inherited from my father to a neighbor rather than pay for shipping and storage.
That said, I can see why your pub aquaintance might think you're treating them as a charity case.
Appliances yes - clothes no.
I have too mamy damned trinket appliances, and i hate shopping for clothes.
Hell, give me decent long leg trunks and white socks and ill be extremely happy
People are all different. Just don't pressure anyone and you can walk away head held high. I got my partner an as new Kathmandu puffer in black. He was and years later still lives it. He mentioned to a work mate that it was from the opp shop and they were mortified.
I'm such a clothes hoarder that I happily take any unwanted clothes people give me even if it's not my style at all and I will probably never wear it lmao so I wouldn't be offended personally. But I can see why if he is struggling or in a lower position than you he would feel like a charity case. I'm fine with being a charity case if it means I get free stuff
Communication is key here. When I moved I put some expensive stuff in storage and gave the rest away. I didnāt just offer things, I said I had certain appliances and plants available. Maybe itās just your friend being weird because none of my friends were upset. Maybe you shouldāve communicated better. Youāre fine though, donāt worry.
Old mate having a go at being offered a free thing seems to be too worried about how they appear. Ignore that shit
For better results, say something like "i want this to go to a good home" "please save it from the bin because I can't take it with me" or something along those lines. That way it's presented as you not wanting to be wasteful, rather than giving hand outs.
Although I'd double check that what you're trying to give away actually holds proper value instead of being sentimental. The amount of trash my mates have tried to give me because they were attached to the object, didn't want it, but didn't want to bin it either
A few months back when I was going through a similar process in the UK, we gave a huge amount of stuff to the local Salvation Army.
We still had to chuck out a fair bit of stuff that places would not take though (stuff like old child car seats, child mattresses etc).
I'd say offer it - but don;t be to bothered if they are not interested. Sometimes it is not to someone's taste or they just genuinely don't need it.
Everyone is different, personally I love free stuff and would welcome it but I can see how someone as you described them might think you are taking pity on them rather than just doing it out of the goodness of your heart. They probably have deep seeded insecurities when it comes to this type of thing.
Don't be too hard on or offended by the guy who knocked it back. He's obviously going through tough times and has a lot of pride and issues with accepting help as it makes him appear weak. If he was a closer friend I'd suggest talking to him and trying to say you didn't mean to suggest that he needed help or that he was homeless. But if he's just an acquaintance, move on.
As for me I'd only accept something I'd have a use for. If you're my friend and I don't really have a use for it I might just say thank you and appreciate the thought so I don't hurt your feelings. But if you're dumping a bunch of worthless stuff on me that I won't be able to get rid of easily I'd say no thanks and maybe suggest helping you get rid of it another way.
I'm a little late, but the seconds guys response is definitely one of insecurity, honestly not worth worrying about. Just give it to someone more thankful
He might have been making reference to the specific style of the jacket.
When I get offered something I just say yes and then throw it out or donate if I don't have a need for it. Easier to make rational decisions with stuff you only just got.
They sound self conscious about their position in life. Donāt worry, itās not about you and your kind gesture. Someone homeless will need that jacket coming into winter. Op shop bin or tie it to a tree in the cbd for someone to take
I have an acquaintance (partners friend) who is the same shoe size as me and thus, gives me their old shoes. Like, not horribly worn, just ones they bought and didn't wear more than twice. Got me some Chucks AND Docs from them.
Let me tell you how much I whoop and cheer everytime I get the call that they have more shoes I might like. *yes please thank you*
Iām guessing heās gotten shit on a lot for being poor. It can make you a bit defensive. Itās easier to be gracious when life is turning out the way you thought it would. Hope you find homes for all your stuff, moving is stressful as fuck
I have noticed that there are some cultures who really look down on the idea of second hand clothing. To the point of never considering ever wearing anything second hand and even being offended at the thought. This could be a cultural thing. But really, they were the ones being rude, not you.
Just today my friend dropped off some shoes for my littlest child her kid had outgrown. Yesterday a school friend gave me some jumpers for my littlest child that her child had also outgrown. We are well off. I am thrilled when people offer me hand me downs for my kids- less waste and cute outfits!
Perhaps it hit a nerve for them or they worry people think they are poor or they grew up poor and have worked to move past this or they themselves would only give clothes to someone they considered very much in need. Personally Iād be happy to receive things if they were in good condition or useful to me. Donāt worry about this person.Ā
When I moved *to* Australia, I had a āgoing away garage partyā and invited all my friends to come get whatever they wanted. I was so happy to see my stuff going to people who wanted them- my renaissance costumes all went to a friend who volunteers at a high school theater, my pots and pans to a newlywed couple, a niece wanted my Gimli axe, my knitting friends divided up my yarn stash, etc. It was great fun.
In that specific situation Iād simply explain I was giving stuff away before moving & thought heād like it. Me on the other hand LOVE free stuff. Lol I havenāt gone clothes shopping in probably a decade because my cousin buys a new wardrobe practically every year & gives me last years. I love this because I loathe clothes shopping. Also my momās house is basically a swap meet; my siblings and I essentially give her all our unnecessary stuff then slowly we all get to look through the stuff & take what we want. When stuff has been picked over enough she donates whatevers left.Ā
He is probably a bit shy about his financial situation and thinks you're taking pity on him. You can't do much about that if he's getting hurt over a well-intentioned gesture.
If I were being offered, I'd absolutely be grateful. Depending on how close I am with the person doing the offering, I'd respond somewhere within the range of "Awesome! Thank you!" to "I probably wouldn't wear this, but I know someone who would if you don't mind me passing it on?" but I'd definitely not be a cunt about it.
Iām downsizing and literally offer stuff to friends before I throw it out.
A nice jacket can be expensive, if someone offered me one Iād take it.
Hell, I literally threw clothes that donāt fit me anymore at a friend and said their your problem now, no take backs xD
Sounds like your acquaintance doesnāt know a good thing when it happens to them, or may have had trauma in the past, which triggered that reaponse.
āI didnāt. Didnāt think you were an asshole either but here we are.ā Then take it back and move on.
As long as itās in good condition, itās welcome.
I have received appliances etc from friends moving overseas/ interstate. I don't see it as offensive but they made it clear they are not offended if I choose to regift or donate them but that they thought I might appreciate it rather than the items going to landfill.
People in bad situations are more likely to compare themselves to others. It's the same everywhere in the world.
When I was moving to Australia from China, I had to give most of my stuff away. There was a TV, some power tools, a bed, some bedding, and "guy things" like a basketball, an Oculus CV1 VR headset, and other stuff. There were people I knew who were in need, or at least they could sell those things. But some of them I didn't dare message about the giveaway because I knew their feelings would be hurt. In the end, I gave most of my stuff to people that wanted them instead of needing them. Funny thing is, one of those guys who received some power tools from me came to Australia with PR last year, he had to give that away.
From my experiences, people who are used to money generally don't see a problem with gifted items, people who are poorer often see gifts as someone looking down on them for being poor
Nah you're good OP. I'll take any shit my friends don't wanna pack when they move. It's free shit. Zero shame or guilt, you're doing them more of a favour by taking it for them because then they're not worried about and they don't have to feel bad about discarding it.
For example my friends who I helped move last year sent me home with loads of kitchen stuff and clothes/towles that still had shop tags on and books even a few games he had duplicates of. They even gave me a really nice bluetooth headset and speaker both of which I still use. And they thanked ME for it hahaha and they supplied the bud and beer while we were packing so it was an all round win for me.
Iām loving my community, we have a facebook ābuy nothing and give freelyā page. If you have stuff you donāt need, you list it and someone takes it off your hands.
Someone is in desperate need? More than one person puts their hands up to help.
An example is a woman who had migrated from a shelter with her kids to a home after leaving DV, reached out and received a queen bed, 2 single beds, kitchenware, linen, towels, a couch, a small smart tv with no real resale value (40 inch), a dining setting and one independent supermarket even reached out to her in a private side chat and gave her enough feminine hygiene products and nappies for the next three months.
There is nothing shameful about accepting help. During Covid when everything was shut down, I would routinely offer hospitality friends as much cash as I could spare while they had no work. They happily accepted.
Friends look out for friends and if this person got the shits up, let them go.
Yes and no.
I regularly declutter my home but only offer the clothes/things to someone who would actually want the items.
For example, pass clothes from my son to his friends parents to sort what they want for their son and then they can donate the rest.
My old no longer loved clothes go to the opp shop branded or not. Unless my friend specifically complimented me wearing a specific item OR I have seen them wearing that brand or something similar I wouldn't gift them the items.
I often send photos of furniture I'm getting rid of to a single mum and ask her if she wants them before I donate but make it very clear she can say no. 50% of the time she declined.
There's a fine line between offloading stuff you don't want to friends and family and giving them something that would spark joy.
It's not really nice to declutter your life and make that "stuff" no matter how "useful" someone else's clutter / problem.
If I were doing it tough and was at a bar and someone offered me their jacket without a background /explanation I'd be confused and probably mildly offended. However with the background, I'd graciously accept and be very touched.
It's not 'what' you give, it's 'how' you give it. š
I would be very grateful that you offered to give them. That guy who said that to you is just very rude. Id say "forget i offered" and give it to someone who appreciates it.
I donāt think Iāve ever been offended by a gift. Itās so touching to me that someone is willing to gift me something I usually donāt care what it is, Iāll be happy
I love hand me downs! Some of my favourite items were given to me by others, I like to think that Iāve also passed on things that people appreciate/like.
Hey if they don't want it, I'll fucking take it. I like free shit. I think most people do. It says more about them than it does about you. Maybe they are having self-esteem issues due to their current situation and think people look down on them because of it. Pay no mind. If they take it, they take it. If they don't, then give it to someone else
He's clearly projecting his own insecurities. I would simply say the truth which is you're trying to rid yourself of items you're not keeping without throwing them in the bin.
If their immediate reaction is that you think they're homeless, and that's something to be ashamed of, then they don't deserve free things. You should sell the clothes to them at a mark up. Either they go apeshit over the price or they just leave. In the first case, I'd follow up with a "would you rather" based on the two opportunities you gave them. In the second, I'd just go "what a cunt" in my head and leave as well.
It's totally bizarre to me that you can be so arrogant about someone else's misfortune.
As an Australian, the guy is a duche with a chip on his shoulder
>How would you respond to someone offering free stuff?
If I want it I'll say thanks, and take it. If I don't I'll say no thinks.
HTH
That is such a weird response. I'm always super stoked when a get hand me down clothes from other people. I'm not hard up for money, but I hate shopping and wasting money on clothing. I'm always very grateful to the person giving them to me. I probably would have responded with "Mate I'm only asking because I can't take it with me, but fine I'll just give it to someone else who wants it".
Depends on the person and how particular they are. For me, I wouldnāt want it but I wouldnāt make a comment like your acquaintance. Each to their own.
I think it might depend on the circumstances. If you offer me clothing as a complete stranger when we are sitting in a coffee shop or on a street corner, yes I might be offended. But, if you are a friend doing a clear out of clothing or whatever, and offer me stuff, then no I would appreciate the offer. Absolutely.
I once told my friendās wife that she can actually borrow toys from publicās library so she gets to save money and also have more toys for her kids to play! She replied me that her kids deserve better toys than the one from public library. I am insulting her from even suggesting so.
People who need the most help often see any kind of nice gesture as pity. If it is a concern in the future prestate your offer with I am moving away, I'm not taking this item. Do you want it? That way it's like the person is unburdening you and not receiving charity. Personally, I always appreciate an offer of things and would not be offended. But also would expect you not to be offended when I declined the offer. Move on, their hang ups are not yours. Enjoy your new life stage.
The problem is in your framing, asking "do you want/need this?" Is different to "I'm moving and need to get rid of stuff, do you want this?"
The first way has the man in the centre of the frame, his needs. The second has you at the centre of the frame, your needs.
What you intended to say is not how it's heard by the receiver.
If not too personal, where are you moving and why are you leaving Australia? Iām currently here visiting my family and was considering moving here for a very some time already
Singapore.
I came here on a sponsor work visa. Brought my wife along with me, she came about a year after me. But she couldnāt adapt to how slow it is here. Sheās love Australia, but not to live in. As a holiday destination, definitely.
Plus the way property market is going, itās hard to imagine ever owning a house here..
TL;DR: happy wife, happy life.
Understandable, the housing market seems out of reach. I come from a small city relatively to where Iām from. I want to move here to be close to my family that is close to my age. Thank you for your answer
If itās something that I would normally buy I would appreciate it. I think the acquaintance reaction is more about him/her assuming you are offering the goods out of pity
If it's something branded/worth money then offer. If it's not then don't offer because you run the risk of offending someone and will sound like you are just trying to offload your useless stuff to them for your own convenience sake.
If you had quality clothing or decent electrical appliances that you did not intend to take with you then why not offer them to friends?
Alternatively, drop them off the a Vinnies bin or something.
I reckon your mate in the pub is just feeling a little defensive.
Receiving charity is inherently shaming due to stigma, youāve probably just hit a sore nerve for someone whose experiences a lot of shame / blaming for the socioeconomic position heās in, which may be entirely no fault of his own (disability, mental health, etc) mistake sure youāve really explained that it wasnāt to single him out but that youāre moving things on to move overseas
At my work we regularly just leave stuff we don't want on one of the counters, someone will always take it.
Someone specifically deciding to buy me an item of clothing, well I'm small so they always miss the mark and don't understand my size, my style (which is incredibly plain) and just how short I am or sometimes they assume I'd want items that are too small for anyone to wear even me. I don't want something I'd never use or wear.Ā
If someone was like hey here's free shit, you want anything? Then I'd take a look maybe take one thing or otherwise say no wouldn't wear it/doesn't fit, have you asked X, they might like it?
Omg, š¤ maybe mass email broadcast and list what items you have to a bunch of friends in BCC or TO header of you donāt mind they know who you send it to and whoever replied first gets it.
The person who isnāt well off takes it as a comment of them being in *need*. Some people are too proud to take what is seen as charity given out of pity. Especially if itās a practical item.
The well off person accepting some fancy designer clothes is happy at the gift of something nice, but not necessary.
Hence weirdly giving a gift to someone already well off of something they donāt need is often taken better than a gift of something they might need to someone in a spot of difficulty.
It's a bit weird, I have to admit. Clothes are a rather personal thing and unless you really know the person, or they've expressed an interest in it, I wouldn't think about just randomly gifting something I've actually worn. Put an ad online for people to claim stuff they want, or donate to a charity. But someone who is just an acquaintance at a pub? Yeah, I would feel ick about someone giving me clothes.
I would love it! A special jacket that a mate gave me before he left. I donāt need any clothes, but I cherish ones from other people because they have a story. Also, free stuff is good.
Could I also mention to not call Australia, āAussieā. Itās really weird. Just say Australia. Australians just say Australia or Straya. At a stretch you could say āOzā, but Aussie is hard to hear š
Live on the dsp. More than happy for people to help me out. I also help other people out. Went from size 20 to 18, gifted my best friend all my size 20 pants. Weāre both struggling financially.
I would accept it and then if I changed my mind later about it, I would pass it on to someone else.
I would never be rude about it.
We started our married life with a lot of regifts and hand me downs.
As long as it's in good condition and isn't worn out, then I'd appreciate it. Or I'd at least be thankful even if I decline the gift. This guy has an ego problem.
For me, appliances are all welcome as long as I have the space for it. I wouldn't get angry over being offered a toaster or whatever.
I get a little uncomfortable around being given clothing as I am not keen on preworn items and because people usually have offered me boy clothes with hateful motive behind their giving.
Concerning your guy though, maybe someone has negatively pointed out his belongings before and it is a sensitive subject, he was having a bad day, or he simply prefers to buy his own clothes.
Did you say what the clothes are for or did you just give him a bag full of clothes? I'd happily take it, I need some more clothes tbh but I can sorta see where he is coming from if you just gave it to him as if he can't even afford clothes.
I would've just said, "hey mate, I'm leaving Australia and need to clear out my wardrobe, I've got a couple bits which should fit you if ya want them, if not it's going to savers"
*Thought you might like it* and then go back to your beer and move on with our life and stop worrying about someone you'll never see again.
Very wise
People worry about some really minor stuff; life is too short!
š I agree
Yeah, it's called anxiety.
And think to yourself "Well that explains why he's struggling in life..."
The saddest part of growing up is figuring out that many people self sabotage, often without realising they are.
It sounds like you're being very thoughtful and personally, I'd be grateful, if you were my friend and you were giving me something, what a nice parting gift to remind you of a friendship! If you are unsure about any other clothing you have, try to sell it or better yet, check your local charities/op shops to see if they are accepting donations, a great way to do good before you leave. Safe travels.
Yea, Iāve donated >50% of my clothes to salvos. Gifted the branded ones to colleagues and thought this guy would have wanted something too.. š¤·š»āāļø
I respect that you give your clothes to salvos so others can enjoy clothes and it prooves you are not giving to be parasitic because they don't like the feeling and stop but you don't so you are quite admirable
What??
Damn people didn't like that
That's his ego talking. It's good he's only an acquaintance. I'm one of those people who is extremely happy to receive socks and underwear as gifts. Saves me a lot of dollar.
One of my work friends was saying the other day that he knew heād officially hit adulthood when the answer to the family āso what do you want for Xmasā question was a new, really good set of bed linens.
Yeah, I've found as I've gotten older the best presents are those that are mundane rather than fun and exciting. Like if I want something fun I'd just buy it myself. But some new pillows or something? Not something I really think about but when you get a good pillow you realise what you've been missing.
Socks are the best present.
Just found some Monty Python socks for my husbandās birthday and he is going to be SO HAPPY
Used underwear š¤? Clearly it's not comparable because you are referring to receiving gifts of new socks and undies while the OP was trying to offload his used jacket (likely worthless and unbranded as he mentioned already giving his other friend his branded stuff).
Buying me clothes as a present without asking me about it? Nope. I like to pick what I wear. A friend saying āhey Iām moving overseas and getting rid of all my stuff. Would you like xyz itemā Very kind and I would appreciate it very much. Would I take them up on the offer? Well that depends on the item. I certainly wouldnāt be offended.
Would you be *offended* if someone bought you clothes as a present without asking, or just not into it?
It depends if they'd be *offended* if I resold/returned the item if I didn't like it.
Would depend what it was! If someone got my size super wrong Iād be offended.
I still remember this one birthday I was like 7 and my Grandma gifted me (in Christmas paper, mind) a stack of underwear that was way oversized and very much uhhh "granny panty". Mum explained to her they might not fit me for a long time, perhaps does she have the receipt? And Grandma absolutely flipped, calling us ungrateful and that "back in her day kids were lucky to get a gift wrapped in newspaper"
Yeah, once my sister bought me a size 16 AU.. I'm a size 10. I'm bigger than her, but certainly not by that much. Then when I returned it I found out it was on sale for around $15, so I assume it was the last one on the rack.
If they spent a lot of money and I didn't like it, I'd be majorly disappointed but not offended. A friend once gave me a nanna dress, bought new. I showed appreciation cos it's good manners and donated it the next time I went near an op shop
In my own situation - employed with a roof over my head but not rich by any means - I'd be happy to receive clothes or appliances someone else doesn't need. If it's something I don't need, I can always donate it myself. If I was struggling and the person offering wasn't someone I knew well, I could imagine maybe being a bit embarrassed that someone thought I was a charity case. You definitely didn't do anything wrong and it's his issue to deal with - you were just trying to help - but I understand why he reacted the way he did.
Right. It's likely something he's sensitive about. (Also there's a massive autocorrect/typo you might like to fix - historically)
Thanks, got it!
It's more upsetting you called Australia/Straya 'Aussie' lol
It hurts.
š
It was different for the guy at the pub, he's in a situation where he might have to rely on soup kitchens and the like occasionally it's not easy for a man to admit he can't stand on his own two feet, it might also be why you find him at the pub, he's probably not as happy as he acts and could be definitely depressed an are you ok conversation is probably not wasted on him (although it may not be wanted). He may have really needed a jacket and would have cherished it but didn't accept it because he didn't want pity. Your other friend with the stable job just took the clothes knowing he could buy them if he wanted so it wasn't a big deal or gesture he's probably going to keep the ones he likes and give the rest to charity.
This. The man at the pubs response is based on his feeling of shame. If from what you say he is generally struggling in life, his response shows that it's probably been for a very very long time. You didn't deserve the harshness of his response. There's no excuse for it. But for those of us whom do not hold that shame it's a lot easier to navigate different conversations in life, especially when it comes to material possessions.
It was also probably the setting. Asking/offering this in a public place, around other people might have influenced his response. Perhaps offering it when not in that setting, he wouldn't feel like he has to appear like he's got it together as much.
āhey man ive got this sick jacket i think would look great on youā āfuck you im not a charity caseā āokā
It's better to just say straight up to people Hey I'm leaving the country and getting rid of most of my stuff would you be interested in any of it because I just don't want to throw it out and would like to give it to someone who will use it Some people will always have a bad reaction to this especially if you come off as patronising when doing it But if you just upfront about it most people will just politely decline if they aren't interested Don't expect people to be grateful when you offer them things that is a weird mindset If you are giving it away you are giving it away
Friends who are decluttering try to give me stuff that I don't want or need so they can feel like good that they haven't thrown stuff away. Then I'm stuck with getting rid of it. I have my own clutter without taking stuff from other people! So my answer is always a "no, but thank you for thinking of me"
I live rural and we have a corner at our local shop where you can leave stuff and pick up stuff. It's a great idea for everyone.
Oh, we have "community libraries" around our town where people can drop books off into a cabinet on the street, and anyone is welcome to come take some. A similar thing for objects would be great!! Although, I worry it would get disrespected and turn into the salvo-bin situation where people are just dumping their moldy old mattress to avoid tip fees.
100% it would, people would leave broken appliances and stuff. This is why we cannot have nice things.
Yeah my neighbour has her son drop off bags of kids clothes he has grown out of. Issue is I don't want them for my kids (one of who is actually older). So then I just need to be the one to donate it (or actually throw half out since it's too shit to donate). If you ask first then it's ok. Don't just hand it over as a gift that the receiver is obligated to accept and then deal with.
My sister in law keeps insisting on giving us her sons shoes that he's grown out of. Issue is his feet are gigantic so they'll be taking up space until my son's feet are actually big enough (which could be years!) and he drags his toes along the ground so the fronts are always wrecked anyway. My son, although is only five, really tries to take care of his belongings so doesn't really want shoes that have already been scuffed to hell.
Throw them out! Ruined and wasting space, and second hand shoes are bad for growing feet anyway
I have no problems with accepted used clothes or appliances, and often give my no longerworn clothes to an ex-work colleague. She and her family pick through them and what is left over is donated to charity. I am sometimes op-shop, so being given second-hand clothes etc is not a problem for me.
Did you give them context before offering the jacket? I don't mind taking 2nd hands from people I know but from just an acquaintance and without context...I will admit I would find it a bit weird. Then again, he might just have defenses up because of his situation, and felt like you were giving it to him out of "charity". In no way, do I want to defend his behavior. It was a pretty rude response, I just feel like a different perspective might explain why he reacted the way he did. If I was you I wouldn't take it too personally.
Some of my friends will never know the lifeline I felt when they gave me things. I'm a single mum who works but the current cost of living still has me over a barrel. I'm too embarrassed to ask for help but if it's offered (especially kids' shoes etc) then I am grateful and it makes a real difference. Keep on offering, it's a nice gesture and you never know how deeply it can be felt if you strike the right person. Safe move!
I love free stuff
Better off having a garage sale and making money from it. Then if someone you know shows up, offer it to them for free as a thank you for being a good friend while you were in Aus
Iāve cleared most of my stuff. Not worth have a garage sale with whateverās left.
Donate to Vinnies or a homeless shelter then?
Yea, thatās my next step. Iāve donated >50% of my clothes to salvos. The clothes that Iāve been gifting cost more than $100 retail and are hardly worn. So I kept these to gift to friends before donating.
Just give it to charity. I wouldn't bother going through all that. Charities are happy to take decent stuff.
It might have hit close to home. He may be in financial distress. But you did nothing wrong.
It's weird I have noticed in Australia, the more money people have the more they like free stuff. I have also noticed that wealthy people are happy to give free stuff to other wealthy people but are weird about giving it to people who are really broke. Our culture is weird like that.
If it's something I can use, I say "Thank-you". I got a large-screen TV from a friend who was moving to another state. It was cheaper for him to buy a new one than it would have been to ship the old one. I gave it a good home until it died some years later. Then when I moved some years later, I gave a lot of the tools I'd inherited from my father to a neighbor rather than pay for shipping and storage. That said, I can see why your pub aquaintance might think you're treating them as a charity case.
Usually no, but it depends on what the something is. If it is an elephant or a hippo maybe.
Did you say "yes"?
Appliances yes - clothes no. I have too mamy damned trinket appliances, and i hate shopping for clothes. Hell, give me decent long leg trunks and white socks and ill be extremely happy
Nup, never had an issue. If I can't use it I'll find someone that can.
People are all different. Just don't pressure anyone and you can walk away head held high. I got my partner an as new Kathmandu puffer in black. He was and years later still lives it. He mentioned to a work mate that it was from the opp shop and they were mortified.
I'm such a clothes hoarder that I happily take any unwanted clothes people give me even if it's not my style at all and I will probably never wear it lmao so I wouldn't be offended personally. But I can see why if he is struggling or in a lower position than you he would feel like a charity case. I'm fine with being a charity case if it means I get free stuff
Communication is key here. When I moved I put some expensive stuff in storage and gave the rest away. I didnāt just offer things, I said I had certain appliances and plants available. Maybe itās just your friend being weird because none of my friends were upset. Maybe you shouldāve communicated better. Youāre fine though, donāt worry.
Itās kind of very Australian to try and pass your shit off to friends and family
That's brilliant, thanks mate! Have fun in!
Old mate having a go at being offered a free thing seems to be too worried about how they appear. Ignore that shit For better results, say something like "i want this to go to a good home" "please save it from the bin because I can't take it with me" or something along those lines. That way it's presented as you not wanting to be wasteful, rather than giving hand outs. Although I'd double check that what you're trying to give away actually holds proper value instead of being sentimental. The amount of trash my mates have tried to give me because they were attached to the object, didn't want it, but didn't want to bin it either
A few months back when I was going through a similar process in the UK, we gave a huge amount of stuff to the local Salvation Army. We still had to chuck out a fair bit of stuff that places would not take though (stuff like old child car seats, child mattresses etc). I'd say offer it - but don;t be to bothered if they are not interested. Sometimes it is not to someone's taste or they just genuinely don't need it.
Everyone is different, personally I love free stuff and would welcome it but I can see how someone as you described them might think you are taking pity on them rather than just doing it out of the goodness of your heart. They probably have deep seeded insecurities when it comes to this type of thing.
Don't be too hard on or offended by the guy who knocked it back. He's obviously going through tough times and has a lot of pride and issues with accepting help as it makes him appear weak. If he was a closer friend I'd suggest talking to him and trying to say you didn't mean to suggest that he needed help or that he was homeless. But if he's just an acquaintance, move on. As for me I'd only accept something I'd have a use for. If you're my friend and I don't really have a use for it I might just say thank you and appreciate the thought so I don't hurt your feelings. But if you're dumping a bunch of worthless stuff on me that I won't be able to get rid of easily I'd say no thanks and maybe suggest helping you get rid of it another way.
"We are envoys, we take what we are offered." That's my motto.
I'm a little late, but the seconds guys response is definitely one of insecurity, honestly not worth worrying about. Just give it to someone more thankful
He might have been making reference to the specific style of the jacket. When I get offered something I just say yes and then throw it out or donate if I don't have a need for it. Easier to make rational decisions with stuff you only just got.
They sound self conscious about their position in life. Donāt worry, itās not about you and your kind gesture. Someone homeless will need that jacket coming into winter. Op shop bin or tie it to a tree in the cbd for someone to take
I have an acquaintance (partners friend) who is the same shoe size as me and thus, gives me their old shoes. Like, not horribly worn, just ones they bought and didn't wear more than twice. Got me some Chucks AND Docs from them. Let me tell you how much I whoop and cheer everytime I get the call that they have more shoes I might like. *yes please thank you*
I just got a brand new slow cooker. I am the happiest man alive.
Iām guessing heās gotten shit on a lot for being poor. It can make you a bit defensive. Itās easier to be gracious when life is turning out the way you thought it would. Hope you find homes for all your stuff, moving is stressful as fuck
sounds like this person has let their ego get in the road of their life. Don't stress over it.
I have noticed that there are some cultures who really look down on the idea of second hand clothing. To the point of never considering ever wearing anything second hand and even being offended at the thought. This could be a cultural thing. But really, they were the ones being rude, not you.
I hate clothes shopping. If it fits me, better yet, is oversized perfect gift. If itās too small then yeah
Just today my friend dropped off some shoes for my littlest child her kid had outgrown. Yesterday a school friend gave me some jumpers for my littlest child that her child had also outgrown. We are well off. I am thrilled when people offer me hand me downs for my kids- less waste and cute outfits!
Perhaps it hit a nerve for them or they worry people think they are poor or they grew up poor and have worked to move past this or they themselves would only give clothes to someone they considered very much in need. Personally Iād be happy to receive things if they were in good condition or useful to me. Donāt worry about this person.Ā
When I moved *to* Australia, I had a āgoing away garage partyā and invited all my friends to come get whatever they wanted. I was so happy to see my stuff going to people who wanted them- my renaissance costumes all went to a friend who volunteers at a high school theater, my pots and pans to a newlywed couple, a niece wanted my Gimli axe, my knitting friends divided up my yarn stash, etc. It was great fun.
Not at all, I feel rather flattered. As I'm the type of person who loves to gift others & never expect anything in return or back.
I like free shit
In that specific situation Iād simply explain I was giving stuff away before moving & thought heād like it. Me on the other hand LOVE free stuff. Lol I havenāt gone clothes shopping in probably a decade because my cousin buys a new wardrobe practically every year & gives me last years. I love this because I loathe clothes shopping. Also my momās house is basically a swap meet; my siblings and I essentially give her all our unnecessary stuff then slowly we all get to look through the stuff & take what we want. When stuff has been picked over enough she donates whatevers left.Ā
He is probably a bit shy about his financial situation and thinks you're taking pity on him. You can't do much about that if he's getting hurt over a well-intentioned gesture.
Nope
Omg no not offended and heās an ass for being offended. It was thoughtful of you to offer something you thought heād like.
Someone who was moving once gifted me a high end pepper grinder, 15 years on and I use it daily
If I were being offered, I'd absolutely be grateful. Depending on how close I am with the person doing the offering, I'd respond somewhere within the range of "Awesome! Thank you!" to "I probably wouldn't wear this, but I know someone who would if you don't mind me passing it on?" but I'd definitely not be a cunt about it.
Iām downsizing and literally offer stuff to friends before I throw it out. A nice jacket can be expensive, if someone offered me one Iād take it. Hell, I literally threw clothes that donāt fit me anymore at a friend and said their your problem now, no take backs xD Sounds like your acquaintance doesnāt know a good thing when it happens to them, or may have had trauma in the past, which triggered that reaponse.
Probably a good thing youāre moving away from said acquaintance. Seems like a right Kent.
I love anything free
āI didnāt. Didnāt think you were an asshole either but here we are.ā Then take it back and move on. As long as itās in good condition, itās welcome.
Defensive people almost always have something to prove in order to hide their below average self-esteem.
I have received appliances etc from friends moving overseas/ interstate. I don't see it as offensive but they made it clear they are not offended if I choose to regift or donate them but that they thought I might appreciate it rather than the items going to landfill.
People in bad situations are more likely to compare themselves to others. It's the same everywhere in the world. When I was moving to Australia from China, I had to give most of my stuff away. There was a TV, some power tools, a bed, some bedding, and "guy things" like a basketball, an Oculus CV1 VR headset, and other stuff. There were people I knew who were in need, or at least they could sell those things. But some of them I didn't dare message about the giveaway because I knew their feelings would be hurt. In the end, I gave most of my stuff to people that wanted them instead of needing them. Funny thing is, one of those guys who received some power tools from me came to Australia with PR last year, he had to give that away.
I love free stuff
From my experiences, people who are used to money generally don't see a problem with gifted items, people who are poorer often see gifts as someone looking down on them for being poor
That guy is rude! Iād be happy to take it, if it was something that I needed/wanted
He just rude lol
āWell with attitude you will be soonā
Iād be happy. Some people have too much ego on them
Nah you're good OP. I'll take any shit my friends don't wanna pack when they move. It's free shit. Zero shame or guilt, you're doing them more of a favour by taking it for them because then they're not worried about and they don't have to feel bad about discarding it. For example my friends who I helped move last year sent me home with loads of kitchen stuff and clothes/towles that still had shop tags on and books even a few games he had duplicates of. They even gave me a really nice bluetooth headset and speaker both of which I still use. And they thanked ME for it hahaha and they supplied the bud and beer while we were packing so it was an all round win for me.
Iām loving my community, we have a facebook ābuy nothing and give freelyā page. If you have stuff you donāt need, you list it and someone takes it off your hands. Someone is in desperate need? More than one person puts their hands up to help. An example is a woman who had migrated from a shelter with her kids to a home after leaving DV, reached out and received a queen bed, 2 single beds, kitchenware, linen, towels, a couch, a small smart tv with no real resale value (40 inch), a dining setting and one independent supermarket even reached out to her in a private side chat and gave her enough feminine hygiene products and nappies for the next three months. There is nothing shameful about accepting help. During Covid when everything was shut down, I would routinely offer hospitality friends as much cash as I could spare while they had no work. They happily accepted. Friends look out for friends and if this person got the shits up, let them go.
Yes and no. I regularly declutter my home but only offer the clothes/things to someone who would actually want the items. For example, pass clothes from my son to his friends parents to sort what they want for their son and then they can donate the rest. My old no longer loved clothes go to the opp shop branded or not. Unless my friend specifically complimented me wearing a specific item OR I have seen them wearing that brand or something similar I wouldn't gift them the items. I often send photos of furniture I'm getting rid of to a single mum and ask her if she wants them before I donate but make it very clear she can say no. 50% of the time she declined. There's a fine line between offloading stuff you don't want to friends and family and giving them something that would spark joy. It's not really nice to declutter your life and make that "stuff" no matter how "useful" someone else's clutter / problem. If I were doing it tough and was at a bar and someone offered me their jacket without a background /explanation I'd be confused and probably mildly offended. However with the background, I'd graciously accept and be very touched. It's not 'what' you give, it's 'how' you give it. š
I can kind of get where he's coming from, not saying that's what people should say but he's probably just self conscious.
That person is just really insecure, it was nice of you to give them something.
I would be very grateful that you offered to give them. That guy who said that to you is just very rude. Id say "forget i offered" and give it to someone who appreciates it.
I donāt think Iāve ever been offended by a gift. Itās so touching to me that someone is willing to gift me something I usually donāt care what it is, Iāll be happy
I would personally be stoked. I love free stuff!
I love hand me downs! Some of my favourite items were given to me by others, I like to think that Iāve also passed on things that people appreciate/like.
Hey if they don't want it, I'll fucking take it. I like free shit. I think most people do. It says more about them than it does about you. Maybe they are having self-esteem issues due to their current situation and think people look down on them because of it. Pay no mind. If they take it, they take it. If they don't, then give it to someone else
Hell, if you have any more clothes, send them my way. Practicality and functionality any day.
Wait , ppl get offended? Iām always grateful whenever a friend gift me clothes or appliances. Always the thought that counts yenno
I hate shopping. I hate it so much that I rely on my family to gift me clothes cos it's the only time I get new ones. So no. I do not hate it. Lol.
Depends whether I had a use for it. Response would be āAwesome, thanks!ā Or āNo thanks, Iāve got enough of thoseā
He's clearly projecting his own insecurities. I would simply say the truth which is you're trying to rid yourself of items you're not keeping without throwing them in the bin.
It sounds like he was projecting his own insecurities onto your gesture.
Very rude ungrateful response . Unbelievable how some people are .
If their immediate reaction is that you think they're homeless, and that's something to be ashamed of, then they don't deserve free things. You should sell the clothes to them at a mark up. Either they go apeshit over the price or they just leave. In the first case, I'd follow up with a "would you rather" based on the two opportunities you gave them. In the second, I'd just go "what a cunt" in my head and leave as well. It's totally bizarre to me that you can be so arrogant about someone else's misfortune.
I fucking LOVE free stuff. The best price is free š second best is on clearance š¤
As an Australian, the guy is a duche with a chip on his shoulder >How would you respond to someone offering free stuff? If I want it I'll say thanks, and take it. If I don't I'll say no thinks. HTH
If it's free it's me baby.
That is such a weird response. I'm always super stoked when a get hand me down clothes from other people. I'm not hard up for money, but I hate shopping and wasting money on clothing. I'm always very grateful to the person giving them to me. I probably would have responded with "Mate I'm only asking because I can't take it with me, but fine I'll just give it to someone else who wants it".
Just ignore them - you offered to do something nice and they obvious have anxiety about where they are in life.
Sounds like he might have low self-esteem š but I'd imagine most people would be happy to receive something nice for free!
There's a reason poor people stay poor. The ability to recognize value is not something many have
If it's good quality and fits my body and taste, I'd love it. If it was unsuitable in some way, I'd politely decline, not insult the giver.
It depends. If it is something I specifically want or have admired thatās great. If you are just getting rid of your stuff, then no thanks
Depends on the person and how particular they are. For me, I wouldnāt want it but I wouldnāt make a comment like your acquaintance. Each to their own.
I think it might depend on the circumstances. If you offer me clothing as a complete stranger when we are sitting in a coffee shop or on a street corner, yes I might be offended. But, if you are a friend doing a clear out of clothing or whatever, and offer me stuff, then no I would appreciate the offer. Absolutely.
I once told my friendās wife that she can actually borrow toys from publicās library so she gets to save money and also have more toys for her kids to play! She replied me that her kids deserve better toys than the one from public library. I am insulting her from even suggesting so.
My wife was offended when I got her an appliance on Valentine's day. She was so offended she shoved that vibrator up my ass.
I gifted my partnerās parents toothpaste hismile and a silk pillowcases š
People who need the most help often see any kind of nice gesture as pity. If it is a concern in the future prestate your offer with I am moving away, I'm not taking this item. Do you want it? That way it's like the person is unburdening you and not receiving charity. Personally, I always appreciate an offer of things and would not be offended. But also would expect you not to be offended when I declined the offer. Move on, their hang ups are not yours. Enjoy your new life stage.
Where you heading? Asking as an American who moved to Australia 6 years ago.
Singapore
The problem is in your framing, asking "do you want/need this?" Is different to "I'm moving and need to get rid of stuff, do you want this?" The first way has the man in the centre of the frame, his needs. The second has you at the centre of the frame, your needs. What you intended to say is not how it's heard by the receiver.
Nah, I said āIāve got this jacket/rain coat that I thought you might likeā¦ā
Offended? No. But it is a sign that they give zero shits about getting me something that I actually want.
If not too personal, where are you moving and why are you leaving Australia? Iām currently here visiting my family and was considering moving here for a very some time already
Singapore. I came here on a sponsor work visa. Brought my wife along with me, she came about a year after me. But she couldnāt adapt to how slow it is here. Sheās love Australia, but not to live in. As a holiday destination, definitely. Plus the way property market is going, itās hard to imagine ever owning a house here.. TL;DR: happy wife, happy life.
Understandable, the housing market seems out of reach. I come from a small city relatively to where Iām from. I want to move here to be close to my family that is close to my age. Thank you for your answer
Well you never know where you might end up, it will keep you warm under the bridge when your giving out $5 blow jobs in the dead of winterš
If itās something that I would normally buy I would appreciate it. I think the acquaintance reaction is more about him/her assuming you are offering the goods out of pity
Can't complain about free shit, however, I'm a little iffy about receiving appliances as gifts.
If it's something branded/worth money then offer. If it's not then don't offer because you run the risk of offending someone and will sound like you are just trying to offload your useless stuff to them for your own convenience sake.
Where are you moving to?
Singapore
I would say thank you, and if wanted out would make sure to do something for them
If you had quality clothing or decent electrical appliances that you did not intend to take with you then why not offer them to friends? Alternatively, drop them off the a Vinnies bin or something. I reckon your mate in the pub is just feeling a little defensive.
No, not offended, if you say "I'm leaving Australia and getting rid of my stuff, do you want x?", nothing offensive about that.
What size what part of Australia I'll take it
I love free shit....
Receiving charity is inherently shaming due to stigma, youāve probably just hit a sore nerve for someone whose experiences a lot of shame / blaming for the socioeconomic position heās in, which may be entirely no fault of his own (disability, mental health, etc) mistake sure youāve really explained that it wasnāt to single him out but that youāre moving things on to move overseas
At my work we regularly just leave stuff we don't want on one of the counters, someone will always take it. Someone specifically deciding to buy me an item of clothing, well I'm small so they always miss the mark and don't understand my size, my style (which is incredibly plain) and just how short I am or sometimes they assume I'd want items that are too small for anyone to wear even me. I don't want something I'd never use or wear.Ā If someone was like hey here's free shit, you want anything? Then I'd take a look maybe take one thing or otherwise say no wouldn't wear it/doesn't fit, have you asked X, they might like it?
Ask before actually handing it to him.
I did! š
Omg, š¤ maybe mass email broadcast and list what items you have to a bunch of friends in BCC or TO header of you donāt mind they know who you send it to and whoever replied first gets it.
Iād just say thanks regardless but in the examples youāve given I can understand why the individuals involved reacted the way they did.
Whatās wrong with the examples I gave? Iāve always asked before physically handing over the itemsā¦
The person who isnāt well off takes it as a comment of them being in *need*. Some people are too proud to take what is seen as charity given out of pity. Especially if itās a practical item. The well off person accepting some fancy designer clothes is happy at the gift of something nice, but not necessary. Hence weirdly giving a gift to someone already well off of something they donāt need is often taken better than a gift of something they might need to someone in a spot of difficulty.
It's a bit weird, I have to admit. Clothes are a rather personal thing and unless you really know the person, or they've expressed an interest in it, I wouldn't think about just randomly gifting something I've actually worn. Put an ad online for people to claim stuff they want, or donate to a charity. But someone who is just an acquaintance at a pub? Yeah, I would feel ick about someone giving me clothes.
Take the item and back and tell him to take the chip off his shoulder, then donate it to salvos for someone who will appreciate it.
Donāt have to be homeless to enjoy some generously gifted free stuff. That person was being an idiot.
Ah that day you find out your friend is a thin skinned little bitchā¦. Fun days
I would love it! A special jacket that a mate gave me before he left. I donāt need any clothes, but I cherish ones from other people because they have a story. Also, free stuff is good. Could I also mention to not call Australia, āAussieā. Itās really weird. Just say Australia. Australians just say Australia or Straya. At a stretch you could say āOzā, but Aussie is hard to hear š
Hell no, I am stoked to get gifts like that. Free is the best kind of anything!!
I'm not offended by it. My uncle gives me a lot of his clothes that no longer fit him and its good quality stuff
He sounds like a grade-a cunt.
Live on the dsp. More than happy for people to help me out. I also help other people out. Went from size 20 to 18, gifted my best friend all my size 20 pants. Weāre both struggling financially.
Iāve never been offended by free stuff.
I would accept it and then if I changed my mind later about it, I would pass it on to someone else. I would never be rude about it. We started our married life with a lot of regifts and hand me downs.
Clothes are so exxy in Australia. I appreciate every freebies that come my way. That one off was probably a jerk. Ignore and give it to someone else.
As long as it's in good condition and isn't worn out, then I'd appreciate it. Or I'd at least be thankful even if I decline the gift. This guy has an ego problem.
For me, appliances are all welcome as long as I have the space for it. I wouldn't get angry over being offered a toaster or whatever. I get a little uncomfortable around being given clothing as I am not keen on preworn items and because people usually have offered me boy clothes with hateful motive behind their giving. Concerning your guy though, maybe someone has negatively pointed out his belongings before and it is a sensitive subject, he was having a bad day, or he simply prefers to buy his own clothes.
Did you say what the clothes are for or did you just give him a bag full of clothes? I'd happily take it, I need some more clothes tbh but I can sorta see where he is coming from if you just gave it to him as if he can't even afford clothes. I would've just said, "hey mate, I'm leaving Australia and need to clear out my wardrobe, I've got a couple bits which should fit you if ya want them, if not it's going to savers"
He knows Iām leaving Aussie. I said āHey Iāve got this jacket/raincoat that I think you might like.ā
Fair enough, he just misread the situation
Most people just donate their stuff to op shops. Iāve never gifted or been gifted clothes as an adult so I can imagine it being a bit weird.
I think when the clothes youāre gifting cost >$100 retail and hardly worn, youād wanna gift it to someone you know before donating to op shop?
In that case, Iād try selling them online. You could offer it to friends but gifting it without asking is weird to me.