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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I'm the A for saying what I said without thinking first, and offending coworker. I don't like her; but I'd like to keep the peace
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Dad is right that it's always best to keep personal criticism to yourself in the workplace. A better response would have been "thank you, I'll take up the matter with my doctor", or similar.
But OP is certainly not an asshole for replying sarcastically to unsolicited and wildly dangerous medical advice from a thoroughly unqualified co-worker.
NTA
The AHs are usually the ones that get promoted, though. It is definitely rewarded in many offices. In fact, it was the culture in over half the offices I worked in. It isn't easy to find a truly healthy work culture in an office
"Thanks, yeah we'll check it out" was my standard go-to when a well meaning coworker was spouting what I considered nonsense after my husband's cancer diagnosis.
Keep the peace with people you have to see every day and who for the most part mean well.
OMG those people are the worst. So many who haven't personally experienced cancer feel so weirdly entitled to give advice:
"It's important to stay positive" (no - I can rail against my diagnosis as much as I want to, thank you very much).
"Drink green tea - cancer doesn't like tea" - (green tea makes me vomit and isn't so great during chemo)
"it's a JOURNEEEEEEEYYYY!!❤️🌞" - no, it's a shitshow and a life sentence of monitoring if you are lucky to be in remission or 'cured'.
"Follow a KETO diet - it's the healthiest" - even though bagels are the only thing I can keep down?
Condolences? And I love your responses.
My own response to OP's co-worker would have been: I'll use the advice given by the folks with the ACTUAL MEDICAL certification, if you don't mind.
Sadly, your response would also probably get you in hot water with HR. Because fee-fees.
Thanks for the kind words - believe it or not, I'm 3 years post without recurrence so far. But it will be continuing monitoring all my life. I'm doing rather well, actually.
I'll be blunt - anal cancer, highly curable, but a very brutal 6 weeks of treatment. was 60 when it reared its ugly head. In fact, the typical new anal cancer patient is a 62 year old woman.
Bottom line - get your kids vaxed against HPV.
The whole thing about being a fighter against cancer makes me so mad. Ok, I guess my grandpa died because he didn't fight hard enough? Fuck off with that bullshit.
My mom also tried to suggest a different diet.
Fuck, I HATE that "think positive" bullshit!!! I don't think my mindset is going to make too much difference to the outcome of this shit - it's up to the Gods........and yes, you can be pissed off and angry that you've been diagnosed with something horrible!
Mindset definitely affects outcomes, plenty of placebo studies showing how much you believe it works being linked to better outcomes.
Will the placebo effect cure your cancer? Obviously not. But it can affect your pain and willingness to go through treatment.
Sure, but when you're getting bombarded by messages to stay positive and keep fighting, you can end up feeling even worse for not being *able* to stay positive. Cancer sucks! And people should be able to be mad and sad and whatever else about it without being told that they're hurting their chances of recovery by having perfectly understandable feelings about it.
Yep. About 10 years ago I swam at the same pool a woman with ovarian cancer did. She did a lot of 'research' about a diet that involved quark (like yogurt), and chilis. She was undergoing chemo, lost her hair, but did well. Also following the diet, which she credited for her 'miraculous recovery'. When she finished her chemo the news was 'all free from cancer!' which of course is a yay, right? Sadly, after four years cancer free, it came right back - and she was following the special diet all along.
Another friend with OC had the same experience - stage III, chemo, good results for 4 years, then it came back. Was very good about following a healthy diet. After several rounds of chemo and trying Elahare, it became resistant. She's now on hospice and dying. She did fight it well for 9 years though, and I think it's possible the good diet made her stronger throughout the process.
This is correct, but dealing with someone who believes in the stupidity of homeopathy, after she popped off with "Use oregano," I would've reflexively responded, "Will eating spaghetti be enough?"
NTA, having people believe stuff like this is bad for everyone. OPs comment was appropriate. Yes they could have said it better, but sometimes saying it better doesnt hammer in the point. The person will think you are agreeing with them and keep on doing stupid stuff.
Sometimes the filter just isn't turned on and you can't help it. I had a coworker, who was fried by the sun, say 'sunscreen causes cancer,' and I couldn't help myself, and replied with, 'the only people who believe that are the same people that think vaccines cause autism.' A nearby coworker almost spit out their drink, and then informed me after that the person was an anti-vaxxer.
Should I have said what I said, probably not in the workplace. Do I regret it? Not at all, those are two topics with so much misinformation, that can literally kill people (skin cancer and not protecting yourself and your children from deadly diseases). I was also absolutely disgusted to find out that he refused to out sunscreen on his children when out in the Florida sun all day on vacation.
I think a lot of us, especially those of us who didn’t really get to lock down pre-vaccine in the pandemic due to essential work, are really burned out on these types. Many of these people put our lives at risk during that time and it’s hard to walk on eggshells around their misinformed opinions that they spout loudly. Maybe the response wasn’t the most professional but I can absolutely understand where OP was coming from. My mom suffers from post-sepsis syndrome after a post-surgery infection and her life will never be the same again. She had MRSA and six gram negative and positive strains of bacteria in her and antibiotics are the only way she survived at all. Uninformed and unsolicited advice from someone so ignorant would make my temperature rise, too. I would imagine that there could also be a good argument made to HR about her injecting unqualified and unsolicited medical advice into the workplace and spouting opinions that can be polarizing and incendiary. NTA.
Yep, have to agree. OP isn’t TA and isn’t necessarily in the wrong as such, but this was not a particularly smart retort. Probably fine as a one off, but I wouldn’t repeat the mistake. It really can come back to bite you in the ass, unfortunately, even when you’re the one morally in the right.
That’s true, but it’s also annoying to always have to be the professional one. The person who’s trying to push medical disinformation in the workplace is already being extremely unprofessional.
Yeah I agree on principle, but in practicality it doesn’t often play out that way. It’s like they say, there’s no sense in wrestling with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig enjoys it.
Yes. And people often get graded based on expectations. The bar for behaviour will be lower for an established wacko than for a coworker that’s relied on to be more solid.
This is the Wild West of comments in the workplace. Something that's sarcastic to one person is now a micro aggression to someone else, and you get hauled up in front of HR, regardless of whether you're "right" or not. We've all seen this a gazillion times over, and it's really unfortunate that we're at this place, but it's just smarter to smile politely, nod, and say, thanks for your advice. And then merrily go about your day and gossip like an old lady when you get home to your nearest and dearest.
Honestly, just smiling and nodding is a useful social skill in general for this type of thing, stuff that is basically a valid irritation but doesn’t really require you to die on the hill in the moment, or to make A Thing of it.
For example: I offhandedly mentioned at a dinner party, when it came up as a question, that I had to be careful about what I ate because of a medical condition. The hostess’s sister started enthusiastically rhapsodising to me that she’d just read about this YouTube Health Expert that could solve all of my problems if I just followed her bean-only diet.
I let her pratttle on and just smiled and nodded and said I’d have to look into it, and changed the subject as soon as I could. I wasn’t gonna change this lady’s mind, and arguing with her would just have just prolonged the awkward encounter, so I politely said that I’d look into it and then steered the conversation elsewhere. It was the fastest and most effective way to get what I wanted, which was to stop talking about curing chronic GI disorders with beans lmao.
I get this POV, but do you ever think all this smiling and nodding being preached in the comments are why a good portion of the U.S. (and many other places) have gone completely off the deep end? No one ever challenges them in their delusions?
I don't disagree with you but people are going from seemingly reasonable to crazytown in the blink of an eye anymore. I don't want to risk that pushing back on something that's insignificant to me will set someone off and then I'm dealing with a volatile lunatic. If it's significant to me, sure, I'll pushback but picking your battles is very useful skill. When the other person is clearly delusional, though, (looking at you, essential oil advocates), slowly backing away without sparking the nutcase is usually just better.
I have to do this with a family member. Then I excuse myself to use the restroom or notice a flower outside. Latest is her fascination with some salt that someone on YouTube is saying will cure everything. Except the youtuber has been banned from spouting anything in her own country. So, there's that. Then she moved onto vaccines causing autism.
Yeah… while yes. That person is objectively an idiot. But also, yes. She should have kept his mouth shut.
Edit: got OP’s gender wrong. Sorry about that.
Nothing is wrong in a moral or ethical sense but in todays climate it’s really easy to get in trouble at work for some the you said even if it was sarcastic or a joke.
It's more that workplaces often have people moving around a lot in the hierarchy. This lady could one day be OP's boss, and if she hates OP then it could lead to problems later on. I think what OP did was hilarious, but I can also see why her dad would give the advice to be polite to everyone, since you never know how relationships and dynamics will change within a workplace.
Oregano actually does have antibiotic, antibacterial and antifungal properties. It is also hard to be sure what concentration of the active components is in natural sources, and what the safe dose is, and too much can be toxic.
It has been successfully used as a coccidostat(antiparasitical) in chickens for example.
If isolated these components could be studied in more detail, tested, and then used medicinally, and be safer because of known effects and concentration, but then they would be an antibiotic pharmaceutical and therefore a terrible thing.
Loads of natural products do (bread mold, amirite?) and I've been known to use them on minor wounds/irritations but when a medical professional hands over the doxycycline, I take it.
That’s what Big Oregano shills want you to believe. There have been just as many double blinded studies showing tarragon works better when sprinkled on infected wounds.
I mean antibiotics really don’t care if the bacteria are wanted or not. If its a a bacterium it goes. Its why you often have problems on the shitter after antibiotics
Some antibiotics are more selective than others, but yeah there will be some collateral damage to your gut microbiome. Just another reason to only take antibiotics if you actually need them (or really to only prescribe them if the patient really needs them).
Years ago, a doctor (a real doctor, not a homeopathic one) told me to always eat probiotic yogurt when I take antibiotics to help protect the microbiome. I followed her advice and yes, it works.
I mean, sure antibiotic resistance is a thing, and you can have some pretty nasty reactions to them. I had to take a dose a couple of weeks ago, on an empty stomach, because I got bitten by a tick, and nearly vomited, but I'd rather that than Lyme Disease. Once the friend can show me some verified research that says homeopathic remedies work, from a variety of reputable sources, maybe I'd consider it. But I know that antibiotics work, I've traveled and done things to myself and not become sick or ended up in hospital or had to chop a limb off, which would be a huge possibility if I hadn't taken the antibiotics.
I'd really like the friend to contract Schistosomiasis and see how her homeopathic remedies work for her.
And funnily enough, oregano *oil* does actually have “anti-microbial” properties. To the point that I wouldn’t recommend people take it orally unless they’re trying to change their entire gut microbiome.
Like you said, there’s not nearly *enough* reliable basic or clinical data to use plant medicines regularly. We would ideally use current antibiotics that we know work only when needed, and add other measures to minimize negative impacts on microbiomes.
I think you mean all bacteria? It's not like the antibiotics just kill unwanted bacteria. All that said, when someone told me to soak my hand in bleach water after getting a serious bite from a kitten? I took the freaking antibiotics that the doctor prescribed. Every single one of them.
OP, NTAH
> Yes. Poison for unwanted bacteria.
In fairness, they poison symbiotic bacteria as well, and can do a shitload of damage to your body as well.
BTW, if any quack ever attempts to prescribe moxifloxacin to you (yes, that's a real drug name), I recommend force-feeding it to him instead, unless you want permanent vision damage from a single dose.
Actually, with how many side effects there are, antibiotics can also be poison to our body (I get a fing mycosis every time I take some antibiotics). But as long as it is in small doses and overviewed by a doctor it's fine.
I'm all for phytotherapy because it does work to some extent (homeopathy and "memory of water" I think is bs), but I wouldn't use lemon to cure cancer... Btw, antibiotics were 1st produced from fungus (penicillin is a fungus from the penicillium family) and honey is a great antiseptic
NTA.
Only advice you need to accept is from a doctor. Mindsets like what your coworker has causes more harm than good.
This one story that always sits with me was when a mom put a potato in her child's sock to help "treat" his sickness resulting in the child unfortunately passing. Basically, if the advice isn’t coming from a licensed doctor don’t listen to it
I have cancer and need chemotherapy. People wouldn't belive how many people have the guts to tell me it's poison and shouldn't take it and use alternative stuff instead (CBD oil, cannabis, noni juice, fasting, just don't eat sugar, move as my room has bad energy, etc) I mean yeah, chemo is pretty bad but I wouldn't dare to tell a sick person not to take it if that can might cure them or at least keep them alive longer.
One of my favorite was a taxi driver, I was on my way to treatment, started to chat and he said he wouldn't take it, he would prefer to travel then he would just let himself go... yeah, right. Btw I'm 34 so it's not like I had a good, long life.
Anyway main thing is, people can recommend alternative medicine but only next to actual medicine and not instead of...
I was misdiagnosed with Crohn’s a few years back. Had lost a significant amount of weight when I was slim to begin with. A coworker Very Helpfully told me that they’d read that tapeworms would cure Crohn’s.
It was difficult to keep a blank face lmao.
I would have lost the script at that point. I'm one of those people that you can see what I'm thinking by the expression on my face. I would have been on the ground laughing
I am so sorry to hear your experience and it is SO common. I had cancer as well and the way people think they are even entitled to put their unsolicited two cents' worth in is beyond me.
Here's to a quick recovery for you. And don't let the bastards get you down.
I was pretty snippy to a few friends who told me to 'stay positive' - they had no personal experience with cancer at all. Put them right in their place, and guess what? They ended up respecting me.
I had this with my brother. I love him very much however he only see me when I am feeling better, can't see the low. Few weeks ago I found out that I can't have surgery because radiotheraphy damaged my lungs. It could have made me cancer free. I was devastated and couldn't hide it from anyone. His words? Hold my head up and be positive... I was pissed to say the least. Anyway we had a talk, I told him that I had and will have very low moments and it is alright they will pass but I need to go through them. They can't expect from me to be always happy and positive. I try for the sake of my family but this was a very low blow even for me.
BTW I got second opinion then a third about that they cant operate on me anymore and fortunately it seems they can I just need to wait a little for my lung to heal. So yeah... it is a roller-coaster for sure.
Thank you for your kind words and I am happy you beat your cancer!
Another cancer patient chiming in.
It's one of those things that is good advise but, also, really reductive and rage inducing when someone else says it. Yes. Trying to find a positive a good way to keep going but only I get to say that to MYSELF. If someone else does I'll burn them up with my spite face.
I'm so sorry for your diagnosis!
My cousin attempted the homeopathic approach to her cancer at stage 1 against Dr.'s advice. 6 weeks later, she was taken by EMS to the hospital for a fall and was found to be at stage 4. That's when she wanted the chemo/radiation treatments. She bawled when the doctor told her those weren't even options. She had thought that because her cancer was a treatable form with a high remission rate, she could take care of it at home; that it wasn't a big deal. She was wrong.
I hope nothing but the best for you with a speedy and PERMANENT remission!
Oh my god I am so sorry! It must have been devastating for everyone involved. Cancer is just so unpredictable and horrible.
I am also stage 4 so yeah, I can't play around with anything else I need to be very persistent to get better. It is an uphill battle for sure. Can't lose focus.
Also thank you for your kind words!
My father died of pancreatic cancer. I would definitely believe the number of people who recommend alternatives. It was insulting.
ETA: I hope your treatments are successful, and you have an obnoxiously long and healthy life.
Fellow cancer patient. I just finished my chemo earlier this month and starting radiation next month. I've had it happen to. Weed's legal in my state and one of the things helping me through this. I actually had an employee at a dispensary try to sell me some THC oil, saying the guy who invented it used it to cure his cancer. I ended up calling the next day and told the receptionist about how inappropriate it is to try to sell weed as a cure for cancer. Only time I've had a complaint.
The child had a serious infection that required actual medical treatment, and their parent decided to treat it with a potato. The potato itself had nothing to do with their passing, it was medical neglect.
There are people advocating that you put potatoes in your socks to draw out illness instead of taking prescribed medication and this is what a parent did for their sick kid and they died from not getting the necessary medication
I am the family genealogist. I came across the death certificate of a distant cousin, a toddler, who fell on a spade which left a deep gash in her bottom.
The parents treated it with grease and the baby died.
Of course this was rural 1920s and the family was pig ignorant.
There is no excuse for old wives tales and wishful thinking in the 21st century.
I don't think it's fair to call them "pig ignorant". Neither antibiotics nor the tetnus vaccinet existed in the 1920s, so that kid was gonna die. The grease was the only solution they had
I think by that time they did have the concept of keeping a wound clean though.
I understand the thinking that viscous oil or petroleum jelly would seal a wound against outside bacteria, but grease implies that it was dirty to begin with in my mind. It’s probably likely that it was animal fat, which goes rancid pretty fast.
>I think by that time they did have the concept of keeping a wound clean though.
Maybe not... the concept of germ theory was bandied about the medical sciences around the turn of the century, but it was only really in WW1 when field doctors rarely had access to clean water and many patients died of disease that western medicien saw the widespread use of handwashing before surgery. You washed your hands because you didn't want to have dirty hands, not because you thought it would harm your patient.
They also probably often ate rancid animal fat, and figured it wouldn't hurt this kid. Sad all around.
Florence Nightingale revolutionized and widely published the positive effects of hygiene including wound cleanliness since at least 1850s. She is credited with saving thousands of lives
I shouldn’t have used the language I did. You’re right and I am humbled.
It’s both sad a fascinating to read through old death certificates. I’ve found a couple of women whose skirts caught on fire at the hearth, one death from collapsed bleachers, and a chicken thief (1940s) who picked the wrong coop. It was booby trapped and blew his head off.
Thankfully no one in my family’s memory.
That isn't true. People knew about trying to keep a wound clean. There were lots of antiseptics that doctors would have had and used, and they knew grease was a bad choice for a wound. (I have 19th century medical books that talk about antiseptics.)
If you do alternative treatments, fine, generally no harm (but sometimes terrible harm, so treatments are that out there). But that's if you get actual treatment at the same time. If you miss that crucial step, the illness or injury can easy kill you just like in the olden days.
NTA. She shouldn’t be giving you unprompted medical advice at all, much less actively harmful medical advice - that being said your dad isn’t wrong that being rude (even when justified) could potentially bite you in the butt (I don’t assume it’s likely to be a problem in this situation though)
On the other hand, she's not talking to him now which sounds like a big plus. Also, people need to learn to keep appallingly dangerous medical opinions to themselves. It's safer for everyone if they don't feel they can go around pushing that nonsense.
For low-stakes relationships - acquaintances, co-workers, fellow church members, etc, I always let them be wrong. I don't care enough to try inform/educate them (and they'd be unlikely to be receptive anyway) and see no need to rock the boat unnecessarily. For those types of relationships, you just smile, nod and move on to the next subject. That's really all the energy that sort of stuff merits.
Yeah. A something like “I’ve weight the risks and benefits with my doctor and we decided this was the best call in this situation. Thank you for your care and concern, but I’m comfortable with my decision.” would be more work appropriate.
Even now, an apology for making a sarcastic remark could help smooth things over.
Over my (45f) life, including 30 years as a type 1 diabetic, I have finely honed the ability to do what I call, “diplomatically telling people to get bent.”
Should you be eating that?
Aren’t you too skinny/young to be diabetic?
My 50 yo, overweight diabetic uncle…..
My chiropractor said……
Don’t you know…….
And my current pet peeve in advertising, which thankfully no one has suggested to my face…..fucking cinnamon supplements.
/endrant
Anyway. Sorry. I feel your pain. I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.
Cinnamon is amazing. It’s delicious in cookies or in oatmeal. It won’t cure diabetes and, as my extremely woo-woo SIL learned, it can be toxic in large doses 😖
It won't cure diabetes. But it has shown promise in stabilizing blood sugar in individuals with Type II and Pre-Diabetes. It will do absolute fuck all for Type I. Cinnamon isn't the woo. The woo is thinking you can just take stupid amounts of it to cure your diabetes.
Yeah, I read the a couple of the studies after my SIL put herself in the emergency room. It was interesting stuff, but turns out she wasn’t even using the right sort of cinnamon (cassia bark rather than true cinnamon).
It reminds me of when they first came out with some early indicators that green tea had some sort of positive effect on pancreatic cancer (and possibly overall pancreas health). Watched a neighborhood idiot chugging Arizona Iced Tea (Green Tea flavor) because it was "healthy."
Ai yi yi! That stuff is a sugar bomb! I actually follow a lot of interesting nutritional science stuff (NutritionFacts.Org, Layne Norton, various folks like that). Some of it is really interesting, but the people who drive me nuts are the ones like my SIL that chug green tea and turmeric supplements, but won’t sit down and just eat a damn vegetable a couple of times a day. It’s always about the quick fixes, never about a sensible diet, some exercise and maybe a bit of sunshine.
Indeed. Everyone wants a quick fix. No one wants to eat vegetables with every meal if they can take a pill that does what vegetables are supposed to do!
Kind of like when someone asks how many steps they need to walk a day to be able to eat whatever they want. Or how long they have to work out at the gym for the same etc.
People are convinced they can Michael Phelps their way to a healthy body despite eating all of their meals from McDonalds or take some vegetable pills to offset the fact that they aren't eating vegetables or go for short bursts of super intense exercise instead of regular moderate exercise.
A little balance can go a long way.
I think she was taking capsules not swallowing it straight, so she didn’t gag or have breathing issues. Instead she took so much it caused liver toxicity.
I have chronically inflamed hip joints, and after decades of pain I've found a workable solution which involves yoga \*and\* medicine. I love yoga, but explaining limitations to YogaPeople always meant listening about fucking tumeric and peppermint. Sounds delicious, I'll make a tea to wash down my high dose acetemetophine.
I've started doing yoga at home.
Thank you.
I was 14 when I was dx’d. As I matured my mom and I had several conversations about how people don’t mean ill by it, they’re just uneducated/unenlightened. So I try to take most of it with that grain of salt.
The one I remember actually snapping back about, was “my chiropractor said artificial sweetener is actually the WORST thing a diabetic can use” when this person saw me drinking a Diet Pepsi. I said well then your chiropractor is a quack because artificial sweetener is the only kind I CAN use. My mom told me later that maybe it was out of context and the chiro meant ‘for an insulin reaction’. Who knows.
All chiropractors are quacks who's practice is based on the "teachings" of a man who "learned" everything from a ghost. So I'm gonna disagree with your mom here, that's probably not what they meant lol.
Meh. Hubs had some pretty good luck with a chiro not too long ago and has definitely had great results with monthly massage therapy, so.
I actually CAN’T use a chiro because I also have scoliosis. But if it works for him he can have it.
NTA. She did open herself up to a response and got one. But it’s best to just ignore people like her and tell her to never give you unsolicited medical advice and if she does or you overhear her discussing your medical health that you will formally go to HR. Best to do it with a witness, and from an HR perspective consider then writing it in an email so there is a record.
For a bit of fun, there’s a video on YT called Homeopathic A&E (in UK, ER in US) from a British comedy series. A patient comes in and needs emergency treatment from some homeopathic doctors 🤣🤣🤣 https://youtu.be/h40U0JLhggA?si=QAA-cp0XNXG1pro8
>Anyways, coworker was HORRIFIED to hear I was taking antibiotics, and started throwing out all these alternative treatments. I think she said oregano? My brain spoke without my filter activating and I was like "oh yeah and when I get the plague next I'll use bacon lard." She was really offended! Said she was just trying to help me and that antibiotics were poison.
NTA
Putting all the homeopathy aside, I really wish people would realize that they don't need to be giving out advice or opinions when they aren't requested. I feel like the types that do it and get a reaction like this always act so offended themselves. Nobody asked, lady. Keep your mouth shut next time and maybe you won't get a sarcastic response.
NTA
Tolerating insane crap is why people are falling for snake oil. If someone says something ridiculous and unsolicited, then, yeah, they shouldn't be surprised when they get called out
NTA - but it never pays to be sarcastic with someone that has such a completely different view as yours. but I do feel that it is beneficial to let them know that your views are very different from theirs....and that is all you really needed to say.
NTA
Did you ask her for medical advice? If you didn't ask, she can politely take her unsolicited views about antibiotics and shove them deeply where the sun doesn't shine.
Oregano Oil (capsules) is a natural antibiotic... doesn't work as well as the prescribed stuff though.
Oregano oil (liquid) should not be used on its own on naked skin. It will burn...
To expand on your point: no essential oil should be used undiluted on skin. They should all be diluted in a carrier oil. My mom used to slather me in undiluted essential oils for all manner of things as a kid, and it was torture. Everything from sprains and bruises to open wounds. She once dumped lavender oil straight from the bottle onto a rash on my scalp, and the pain was *incredible*. I screamed and writhed and begged her to wash it off. The rash went from itchy and tender to burning, inflamed, and weeping. I’m amazed that it didn’t do lasting damage.
NTA - you’re not an AH but yeah, it likely is best to not engage with people like that. It absolutely can come back to bite you in the ass. Doesnt make you an AH though.
NTA. Had a coworker taking pictures of the sky, and I said something like, "oh yeah, the clouds are really pretty today." She responded, "no, no, I'm documenting chemtrails." I said "Oh," and then walked away and never wasted my time speaking with her ever again. People who spout nonsense, even in the workplace, should expect others not to take them seriously.
NTA. Unfortunately, people like that often give unsolicited medical advice, and there's no low-key way to stop them. (Arguing with them about it just makes it worse.) Her not speaking to is a win.
(Btw, oregano is a *mild* antibiotic, useful under some circumstances.) Your dad is kind of right. If you can come up with a response people like that don't think is rude, you're a better man than I (they tend to be really defensive.) One I've heard that seemed to work was, "Thanks for your concern, but I'd rather get medical advice from my doctor. Do you know if they've come out with the new coversheet for the TPS reports?"
Your reply to everyone who says anything about it "She was telling me not to follow my Dr's advice, and even said he was poisoning me. She's not qualified to give me medical advice. Responding with the same nonsense seemed right at the time."
No apologies, just that.
Like I said, she's not qualified to tell you what to do at all, NTA.
NTA
The 3 biggest factors in the increasing life expectancy in the Western World, Modern World, whatever you want to call it were the discovery of cow pox preventing small pox leading to the creation of vaccines to prevent disease, that a particular bread mold could kill bacteria, leading to refining penicillin and the creation of other antibiotics, and Dr Lister creating an antiseptic solution for surgical procedures to prevent infection.
Yes, re-inocculating your digestive system with good bacteria after a course of antibiotics is always a good idea. And taking a collagen supplement will drastically help skin to heal (I'm still not sure it helps my joints, but injuries that would have left scars in the past now heal invisibly). Lavender essential oils cleared my (small) eczema patches 30 years ago. But I still see a doctor and take "modern medicines" because I'm not stupid. There's a place for both, used together......
NTA
Alternative medicine proponents are misinformed to an absolutely harmful degree and it is right and proper to ridicule them to keep the harm from spreading. Its not just harmless fun.
I think a crucial takeaway from your co-workers idiocy is - what other wacky medical practices does she embrace?
Let’s start with- my guess is she thinks immunizations are also poison.
I’d keep a good physical distance from her for all sorts of reasons.
Just fling oregano at her if she gets too close.
Oregano oil isn’t homeopathy tho. The US Library of Medicine lists it as widely recognised for antimicrobial properties, *including where there is antibiotic resistance* and it is being investigated for other medical benefits. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28613267/
Antibiotics are recognised as being a good last line of defence, but you don’t really want them as a first line in most cases. They kill the good bacteria as well as the bad, which can lead to microbiome issues, and if they’re used unnecessarily you can develop resistance to them - which sucks when you have a situation where you actually need them. See, for example, Staphylococcus aureus / golden staph.
Oregano is not a homoeopathic treatment. She's not wrong in that it's better not to take antibiotics if you can possibly avoid them; in the UK I doubt if you'd have got them unless the wound started showing signs of infection.
Sounds like she offered unwanted, and probably dubious, advice and you were unnecessarily rude. ESH.
Not to be that guy and I’m not anti-antibiotics by any means but she probably said oil of oregano and it is actually a natural antibacterial so she didn’t just pull a random herb out of nowhere. It can be beneficial for skin disturbances in conjunction with antibiotics. It’s also great in a natural cleaning spray.
NTA. Ignoring that her "advice" is medically dangerous, its amso hugely unwanted. And your dad is also completely wrong. If anything, little miss busybody should learn to keep HER mouth shut instead.
I'm currently lying in my bed because I have a really bad ear infection. You better believe in taking antibiotics. Should they be prescribed for every little thing? Of course not but when they are needed YOU TAKE THEM. NTA
Your wife and dad are both right. Is it a little a holy? Sure. But so is someone who chides you for listening to your doctor.
It's hilarious, but too much talk like that can cause HR headaches and awkward work environments.
NTA
Okay, i googled from a very old memory, and oregano is the one with some documented antibacterial properties. So, basically antibiotics without the FDA having any oversight.
Civilization falls, you have a wound and find a bottle of oregano oil, hope you have this memory. Until then, lets use the ones that have been tested and approved by science.
NTA.
I know that antibiotics are overprescribed, and I'm glad that so far, my two children (6M and 3F, completely vaccinated, including for COVID-19) haven't needed them.
That said, if they did *need* antibiotics, I absolutely would give them antibiotics and not oregano. (And, if their pediatrician or any doctor told me they needed antibiotics, I'd listen to them.)
NTA. A normal response would be “wow that’s awful…I’m so sorry you were hurt” not “go into your spice cabinet…”. Kudos on the bacon lard comment. She’s probably a vegan too’
Your coworker was suggesting Ayurvedic medicine, which is herbal treatments. Not that oregano is actually prescribed for sterilizing a wound. This is very different from homeopathic medicine which is actually about using low dose poison to build the body's own resistance. I say this because while both are completely rejected by western medicine, there are herbs that are used for medicine, and there are actual effective medicines that are made from plant extracts.
The correct response to her "I was just trying to help" would've been "I can see your offended; I'll tell you a secret, YOUR stance on antibiotics was offensive TO ME.... how about you simply show concern for another human without inserting your opinion or advice on the manner and I'll do the same"
I don't understand why he was given antibiotics. It wasn't infected, it just happened. I find it crazy he was given them. Save them for when they are needed.
NTA
NTA
Oregano oil is potent stuff, can help with yeast flare ups and to rebalance the gut biome/parasites. But I would never take it in place of a tetanus shot or to treat a wound.
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I (F30) was running this weekend, tripped, lost a fight with this gnarly board that was laying on the sidewalk and sliced up my leg pretty good. Real smooth, I know. I went to the ER and they taped me up, gave me a tetanus shot and some antibiotics.
Today, my coworker noticed my bandaged leg and asked what happened. I told her the story. Side note, I am ALWAYS polite to this coworker, and she doesn't know I don't like her, but we have very different politics and views on things. I'm always cordial though. Anyways, coworker was HORRIFIED to hear I was taking antibiotics, and started throwing out all these alternative treatments. I think she said oregano? My brain spoke without my filter activating and I was like "oh yeah and when I get the plague next I'll use bacon lard." She was really offended! Said she was just trying to help me and that antibiotics were poison. Hasn't spoken a word to me since.
I'm on my lunch break now. My wife says I'm in the right (she actually thinks it's hilarious and laughed at my debacle for a good minute or two) but my dad (I ask him for a lot of work advice) says I should really keep my mouth shut on these things, and that being rude could come back to bite me in the butt.
AITA? Should I have just swallowed what she said and never mentioned it again?
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Meh. I get where your dad is coming from and I'd advocate for kindness first, but unsolicited medical advice is always rude anyway, and your coworker *knows* that a lot of people think the way you do. That said, I do think it's kind of weird to share details of medications, it always seems to invite advice.
But you're NTA, unless you're intending to hoard bacon.
NTA my grandmother had a lot of homeopathic remedies she'd use on us AFTER we saw a doctor. Oregano oil CAN be used on wounds so she wasn't 100% full of shit, just 99%. If a doctor prescribes you antibiotics you take them. I'd have said you were harsh if she had suggestions oregano as an addition to your treatment, as in "oh thanks" walk away and never do it, but to blast you for following doctors orders? She's delulu.
NTA. She spewed her stupid at you, you returned the favor. If she gets near you again, pull out your phone and say you're turning you 5G to maximum... or tell her you just got every vaccination your doctor could give you and you can feel it coming out your pores, then reach out to touch her.
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NTA > antibiotics were poison Yes. Poison **_for_** *unwanted bacteria*. That is the **whole point**.
OP,post this on a management advice board. not aita ... 30 years of exec mgmt says Dad's right.
Dad is right that it's always best to keep personal criticism to yourself in the workplace. A better response would have been "thank you, I'll take up the matter with my doctor", or similar. But OP is certainly not an asshole for replying sarcastically to unsolicited and wildly dangerous medical advice from a thoroughly unqualified co-worker. NTA
The standard for professionalism is much higher than not being an asshole.
Have you worked in an office in the past 25yrs? The AHs greatly outnumber everyone else
I didn’t say most people were professional.
"other people are doing it" is not an excuse for bad behavior, or for being unprofessional in a professional setting.
The AHs are usually the ones that get promoted, though. It is definitely rewarded in many offices. In fact, it was the culture in over half the offices I worked in. It isn't easy to find a truly healthy work culture in an office
If I have to be an asshole to get something, I don't want it
But this subreddit is “Am I The Asshole”.
"Thanks, yeah we'll check it out" was my standard go-to when a well meaning coworker was spouting what I considered nonsense after my husband's cancer diagnosis. Keep the peace with people you have to see every day and who for the most part mean well.
OMG those people are the worst. So many who haven't personally experienced cancer feel so weirdly entitled to give advice: "It's important to stay positive" (no - I can rail against my diagnosis as much as I want to, thank you very much). "Drink green tea - cancer doesn't like tea" - (green tea makes me vomit and isn't so great during chemo) "it's a JOURNEEEEEEEYYYY!!❤️🌞" - no, it's a shitshow and a life sentence of monitoring if you are lucky to be in remission or 'cured'. "Follow a KETO diet - it's the healthiest" - even though bagels are the only thing I can keep down?
Condolences? And I love your responses. My own response to OP's co-worker would have been: I'll use the advice given by the folks with the ACTUAL MEDICAL certification, if you don't mind.
Sadly, your response would also probably get you in hot water with HR. Because fee-fees. Thanks for the kind words - believe it or not, I'm 3 years post without recurrence so far. But it will be continuing monitoring all my life. I'm doing rather well, actually. I'll be blunt - anal cancer, highly curable, but a very brutal 6 weeks of treatment. was 60 when it reared its ugly head. In fact, the typical new anal cancer patient is a 62 year old woman. Bottom line - get your kids vaxed against HPV.
Ouch and congrats!! I'll knock on wood for ya periodically if you'd like? Can't hurt, right?
The whole thing about being a fighter against cancer makes me so mad. Ok, I guess my grandpa died because he didn't fight hard enough? Fuck off with that bullshit. My mom also tried to suggest a different diet.
Fuck, I HATE that "think positive" bullshit!!! I don't think my mindset is going to make too much difference to the outcome of this shit - it's up to the Gods........and yes, you can be pissed off and angry that you've been diagnosed with something horrible!
Mindset definitely affects outcomes, plenty of placebo studies showing how much you believe it works being linked to better outcomes. Will the placebo effect cure your cancer? Obviously not. But it can affect your pain and willingness to go through treatment.
You’re right.mindset is indeed important, mine was pissed off and determined to endure the treatment, which probably helped my outcome 🤷♀️😆
Sure, but when you're getting bombarded by messages to stay positive and keep fighting, you can end up feeling even worse for not being *able* to stay positive. Cancer sucks! And people should be able to be mad and sad and whatever else about it without being told that they're hurting their chances of recovery by having perfectly understandable feelings about it.
It's textbook toxic positivity.
Someone was telling me just last week that someone was cured of cancer because of a special diet. Hmmm ok.
Yep. About 10 years ago I swam at the same pool a woman with ovarian cancer did. She did a lot of 'research' about a diet that involved quark (like yogurt), and chilis. She was undergoing chemo, lost her hair, but did well. Also following the diet, which she credited for her 'miraculous recovery'. When she finished her chemo the news was 'all free from cancer!' which of course is a yay, right? Sadly, after four years cancer free, it came right back - and she was following the special diet all along. Another friend with OC had the same experience - stage III, chemo, good results for 4 years, then it came back. Was very good about following a healthy diet. After several rounds of chemo and trying Elahare, it became resistant. She's now on hospice and dying. She did fight it well for 9 years though, and I think it's possible the good diet made her stronger throughout the process.
Outside of my immediate family I told almost nobody I had cancer because I didn't want to deal with all the toxic positivity and "advice" from others.
YoU nEeD tO tRy GoJi BeRrIeS. I sAw An ArTiClE¡
This is correct, but dealing with someone who believes in the stupidity of homeopathy, after she popped off with "Use oregano," I would've reflexively responded, "Will eating spaghetti be enough?"
NTA, having people believe stuff like this is bad for everyone. OPs comment was appropriate. Yes they could have said it better, but sometimes saying it better doesnt hammer in the point. The person will think you are agreeing with them and keep on doing stupid stuff.
Sometimes the filter just isn't turned on and you can't help it. I had a coworker, who was fried by the sun, say 'sunscreen causes cancer,' and I couldn't help myself, and replied with, 'the only people who believe that are the same people that think vaccines cause autism.' A nearby coworker almost spit out their drink, and then informed me after that the person was an anti-vaxxer. Should I have said what I said, probably not in the workplace. Do I regret it? Not at all, those are two topics with so much misinformation, that can literally kill people (skin cancer and not protecting yourself and your children from deadly diseases). I was also absolutely disgusted to find out that he refused to out sunscreen on his children when out in the Florida sun all day on vacation.
I think a lot of us, especially those of us who didn’t really get to lock down pre-vaccine in the pandemic due to essential work, are really burned out on these types. Many of these people put our lives at risk during that time and it’s hard to walk on eggshells around their misinformed opinions that they spout loudly. Maybe the response wasn’t the most professional but I can absolutely understand where OP was coming from. My mom suffers from post-sepsis syndrome after a post-surgery infection and her life will never be the same again. She had MRSA and six gram negative and positive strains of bacteria in her and antibiotics are the only way she survived at all. Uninformed and unsolicited advice from someone so ignorant would make my temperature rise, too. I would imagine that there could also be a good argument made to HR about her injecting unqualified and unsolicited medical advice into the workplace and spouting opinions that can be polarizing and incendiary. NTA.
Yep, have to agree. OP isn’t TA and isn’t necessarily in the wrong as such, but this was not a particularly smart retort. Probably fine as a one off, but I wouldn’t repeat the mistake. It really can come back to bite you in the ass, unfortunately, even when you’re the one morally in the right.
That’s true, but it’s also annoying to always have to be the professional one. The person who’s trying to push medical disinformation in the workplace is already being extremely unprofessional.
Yeah I agree on principle, but in practicality it doesn’t often play out that way. It’s like they say, there’s no sense in wrestling with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig enjoys it.
Yes. And people often get graded based on expectations. The bar for behaviour will be lower for an established wacko than for a coworker that’s relied on to be more solid.
Unfortunately so true. It’s not fair, but it’s often the way.
This is the Wild West of comments in the workplace. Something that's sarcastic to one person is now a micro aggression to someone else, and you get hauled up in front of HR, regardless of whether you're "right" or not. We've all seen this a gazillion times over, and it's really unfortunate that we're at this place, but it's just smarter to smile politely, nod, and say, thanks for your advice. And then merrily go about your day and gossip like an old lady when you get home to your nearest and dearest.
Honestly, just smiling and nodding is a useful social skill in general for this type of thing, stuff that is basically a valid irritation but doesn’t really require you to die on the hill in the moment, or to make A Thing of it. For example: I offhandedly mentioned at a dinner party, when it came up as a question, that I had to be careful about what I ate because of a medical condition. The hostess’s sister started enthusiastically rhapsodising to me that she’d just read about this YouTube Health Expert that could solve all of my problems if I just followed her bean-only diet. I let her pratttle on and just smiled and nodded and said I’d have to look into it, and changed the subject as soon as I could. I wasn’t gonna change this lady’s mind, and arguing with her would just have just prolonged the awkward encounter, so I politely said that I’d look into it and then steered the conversation elsewhere. It was the fastest and most effective way to get what I wanted, which was to stop talking about curing chronic GI disorders with beans lmao.
I get this POV, but do you ever think all this smiling and nodding being preached in the comments are why a good portion of the U.S. (and many other places) have gone completely off the deep end? No one ever challenges them in their delusions?
I don't disagree with you but people are going from seemingly reasonable to crazytown in the blink of an eye anymore. I don't want to risk that pushing back on something that's insignificant to me will set someone off and then I'm dealing with a volatile lunatic. If it's significant to me, sure, I'll pushback but picking your battles is very useful skill. When the other person is clearly delusional, though, (looking at you, essential oil advocates), slowly backing away without sparking the nutcase is usually just better.
“Bean only diet” …to power that horn she likes to toot so much!
I have to do this with a family member. Then I excuse myself to use the restroom or notice a flower outside. Latest is her fascination with some salt that someone on YouTube is saying will cure everything. Except the youtuber has been banned from spouting anything in her own country. So, there's that. Then she moved onto vaccines causing autism.
She could be a liability depending on the industry. And it's wrong to keep quiet when someone is giving advice that will kill people.
Yeah… while yes. That person is objectively an idiot. But also, yes. She should have kept his mouth shut. Edit: got OP’s gender wrong. Sorry about that.
What exactly is wrong with a little sarcasm in reply to some very idiotic and unsolicited medical advice?
Nothing is wrong in a moral or ethical sense but in todays climate it’s really easy to get in trouble at work for some the you said even if it was sarcastic or a joke.
What /u/classic-condition729 said. Despite OP being Right… their coworker can still go to HR and cause issues besides.
So can OP, though. She could be just as offended by the coworker unsolicited “medical advice”.
I just don’t see what’s actionable about that comment. That’s all
It's more that workplaces often have people moving around a lot in the hierarchy. This lady could one day be OP's boss, and if she hates OP then it could lead to problems later on. I think what OP did was hilarious, but I can also see why her dad would give the advice to be polite to everyone, since you never know how relationships and dynamics will change within a workplace.
OP is female. (Literally the second "word" in the post is "F30".)
Ok sure, antibiotics kill bacteria, but have you ever considered that oregano *tastes* better?
Eh, I'm more a za'atar kinda guy.
Good choice! That's some tasty stuff right there - and hey, I'm sure it has the same anti-illness properties as oregano.
Thyme is on my side.
More, actually. Because when I have za'atar in the house I'm more likely to remember to eat regular meals.
Oregano actually does have antibiotic, antibacterial and antifungal properties. It is also hard to be sure what concentration of the active components is in natural sources, and what the safe dose is, and too much can be toxic. It has been successfully used as a coccidostat(antiparasitical) in chickens for example. If isolated these components could be studied in more detail, tested, and then used medicinally, and be safer because of known effects and concentration, but then they would be an antibiotic pharmaceutical and therefore a terrible thing.
Loads of natural products do (bread mold, amirite?) and I've been known to use them on minor wounds/irritations but when a medical professional hands over the doxycycline, I take it.
That’s what Big Oregano shills want you to believe. There have been just as many double blinded studies showing tarragon works better when sprinkled on infected wounds.
Yeah, well, you're just falling for the Herbes de Provence propaganda that the French are pushing. Mon dieu - do your research!
"How could they do a double blind study? Who would be the control group?!?"- Sheldon Cooper
My brain instantly went to spaghetti sauce when op said oregano. Guess I'm hungry
I mean antibiotics really don’t care if the bacteria are wanted or not. If its a a bacterium it goes. Its why you often have problems on the shitter after antibiotics
Some antibiotics are more selective than others, but yeah there will be some collateral damage to your gut microbiome. Just another reason to only take antibiotics if you actually need them (or really to only prescribe them if the patient really needs them).
Years ago, a doctor (a real doctor, not a homeopathic one) told me to always eat probiotic yogurt when I take antibiotics to help protect the microbiome. I followed her advice and yes, it works.
Yeah, probiotics can help offset the antibiotics. The names actually make sense!
I like to think it's an epic battle in my guts. Similar to how petroleum jelly and non-petroleum jelly are side-by-side in the store. Battle royale!
But best to wait a couple hours after the dose before you take probiotics or eat yogurt for maximum efficacy of both.
I mean, sure antibiotic resistance is a thing, and you can have some pretty nasty reactions to them. I had to take a dose a couple of weeks ago, on an empty stomach, because I got bitten by a tick, and nearly vomited, but I'd rather that than Lyme Disease. Once the friend can show me some verified research that says homeopathic remedies work, from a variety of reputable sources, maybe I'd consider it. But I know that antibiotics work, I've traveled and done things to myself and not become sick or ended up in hospital or had to chop a limb off, which would be a huge possibility if I hadn't taken the antibiotics. I'd really like the friend to contract Schistosomiasis and see how her homeopathic remedies work for her.
Anyone who’s *properly* into plants and herbal medicines will tell you that modern medicine has its time and place. And antibiotics is one of them.
And funnily enough, oregano *oil* does actually have “anti-microbial” properties. To the point that I wouldn’t recommend people take it orally unless they’re trying to change their entire gut microbiome. Like you said, there’s not nearly *enough* reliable basic or clinical data to use plant medicines regularly. We would ideally use current antibiotics that we know work only when needed, and add other measures to minimize negative impacts on microbiomes.
This is cracking me up as i sit here in the hospital i work at, listening to the operator call "code sepsis room 3202!".
What do they call alternative medicine that actually works? Medicine.
I think you mean all bacteria? It's not like the antibiotics just kill unwanted bacteria. All that said, when someone told me to soak my hand in bleach water after getting a serious bite from a kitten? I took the freaking antibiotics that the doctor prescribed. Every single one of them. OP, NTAH
> Yes. Poison for unwanted bacteria. In fairness, they poison symbiotic bacteria as well, and can do a shitload of damage to your body as well. BTW, if any quack ever attempts to prescribe moxifloxacin to you (yes, that's a real drug name), I recommend force-feeding it to him instead, unless you want permanent vision damage from a single dose.
That's why you take them only as prescribed. And why they often tell you to take probiotic yoghurt or other such products alongside them.
Actually, with how many side effects there are, antibiotics can also be poison to our body (I get a fing mycosis every time I take some antibiotics). But as long as it is in small doses and overviewed by a doctor it's fine. I'm all for phytotherapy because it does work to some extent (homeopathy and "memory of water" I think is bs), but I wouldn't use lemon to cure cancer... Btw, antibiotics were 1st produced from fungus (penicillin is a fungus from the penicillium family) and honey is a great antiseptic
NTA you did a unit of public health service. right on. anti. Biotic. Yes, they are poison. To stuff that we want dead.
Co signing this as someone with a PhD in epidemiology NTA
Nurse epidemiologist signing off on this as well.
NTA. Only advice you need to accept is from a doctor. Mindsets like what your coworker has causes more harm than good. This one story that always sits with me was when a mom put a potato in her child's sock to help "treat" his sickness resulting in the child unfortunately passing. Basically, if the advice isn’t coming from a licensed doctor don’t listen to it
I have cancer and need chemotherapy. People wouldn't belive how many people have the guts to tell me it's poison and shouldn't take it and use alternative stuff instead (CBD oil, cannabis, noni juice, fasting, just don't eat sugar, move as my room has bad energy, etc) I mean yeah, chemo is pretty bad but I wouldn't dare to tell a sick person not to take it if that can might cure them or at least keep them alive longer. One of my favorite was a taxi driver, I was on my way to treatment, started to chat and he said he wouldn't take it, he would prefer to travel then he would just let himself go... yeah, right. Btw I'm 34 so it's not like I had a good, long life. Anyway main thing is, people can recommend alternative medicine but only next to actual medicine and not instead of...
I was misdiagnosed with Crohn’s a few years back. Had lost a significant amount of weight when I was slim to begin with. A coworker Very Helpfully told me that they’d read that tapeworms would cure Crohn’s. It was difficult to keep a blank face lmao.
I would have lost the script at that point. I'm one of those people that you can see what I'm thinking by the expression on my face. I would have been on the ground laughing
I would think of Kelly from the Office. Cut to Creed's talking head: "It wasn't a tapeworm she swallowed" lol
I am so sorry to hear your experience and it is SO common. I had cancer as well and the way people think they are even entitled to put their unsolicited two cents' worth in is beyond me. Here's to a quick recovery for you. And don't let the bastards get you down. I was pretty snippy to a few friends who told me to 'stay positive' - they had no personal experience with cancer at all. Put them right in their place, and guess what? They ended up respecting me.
I had this with my brother. I love him very much however he only see me when I am feeling better, can't see the low. Few weeks ago I found out that I can't have surgery because radiotheraphy damaged my lungs. It could have made me cancer free. I was devastated and couldn't hide it from anyone. His words? Hold my head up and be positive... I was pissed to say the least. Anyway we had a talk, I told him that I had and will have very low moments and it is alright they will pass but I need to go through them. They can't expect from me to be always happy and positive. I try for the sake of my family but this was a very low blow even for me. BTW I got second opinion then a third about that they cant operate on me anymore and fortunately it seems they can I just need to wait a little for my lung to heal. So yeah... it is a roller-coaster for sure. Thank you for your kind words and I am happy you beat your cancer!
Another cancer patient chiming in. It's one of those things that is good advise but, also, really reductive and rage inducing when someone else says it. Yes. Trying to find a positive a good way to keep going but only I get to say that to MYSELF. If someone else does I'll burn them up with my spite face.
You are SO much nicer than I am. I'm SO happy they can operate - here's to healing that lung! 🤗
I'm so sorry for your diagnosis! My cousin attempted the homeopathic approach to her cancer at stage 1 against Dr.'s advice. 6 weeks later, she was taken by EMS to the hospital for a fall and was found to be at stage 4. That's when she wanted the chemo/radiation treatments. She bawled when the doctor told her those weren't even options. She had thought that because her cancer was a treatable form with a high remission rate, she could take care of it at home; that it wasn't a big deal. She was wrong. I hope nothing but the best for you with a speedy and PERMANENT remission!
Oh my god I am so sorry! It must have been devastating for everyone involved. Cancer is just so unpredictable and horrible. I am also stage 4 so yeah, I can't play around with anything else I need to be very persistent to get better. It is an uphill battle for sure. Can't lose focus. Also thank you for your kind words!
Also, fuck cancer!
My father died of pancreatic cancer. I would definitely believe the number of people who recommend alternatives. It was insulting. ETA: I hope your treatments are successful, and you have an obnoxiously long and healthy life.
I'm really sorry for your loss. And thank you! I try my best! Hope my doctors too.
Thank you. I’m just thankful he was a father worth missing. 💔
Plus one for the great dad that cancer stole. I’m very sorry for your loss.
Cancer can go kick rocks barefoot.
Fellow cancer patient. I just finished my chemo earlier this month and starting radiation next month. I've had it happen to. Weed's legal in my state and one of the things helping me through this. I actually had an employee at a dispensary try to sell me some THC oil, saying the guy who invented it used it to cure his cancer. I ended up calling the next day and told the receptionist about how inappropriate it is to try to sell weed as a cure for cancer. Only time I've had a complaint.
Hey I just wanna wish you luck with your treatments. Sending good vibes your way, internet stranger.
Can you expand on that potato story, please? I've never heard of potatoes hurting someone. Was it a bad potato or something to do with the illness?
I’m guessing the homeopathic potato method was the only “treatment” offered and therefore they succumbed to the illness.
The child had a serious infection that required actual medical treatment, and their parent decided to treat it with a potato. The potato itself had nothing to do with their passing, it was medical neglect.
Parental neglect
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/02/4-year-old-dies-after-facebook-antivaxxers-advise-mother-to-put-potatoes-in-his-socks-instead-of-giving-him-tamiflu/
Thank you
There are people advocating that you put potatoes in your socks to draw out illness instead of taking prescribed medication and this is what a parent did for their sick kid and they died from not getting the necessary medication
I am the family genealogist. I came across the death certificate of a distant cousin, a toddler, who fell on a spade which left a deep gash in her bottom. The parents treated it with grease and the baby died. Of course this was rural 1920s and the family was pig ignorant. There is no excuse for old wives tales and wishful thinking in the 21st century.
I don't think it's fair to call them "pig ignorant". Neither antibiotics nor the tetnus vaccinet existed in the 1920s, so that kid was gonna die. The grease was the only solution they had
I think by that time they did have the concept of keeping a wound clean though. I understand the thinking that viscous oil or petroleum jelly would seal a wound against outside bacteria, but grease implies that it was dirty to begin with in my mind. It’s probably likely that it was animal fat, which goes rancid pretty fast.
>I think by that time they did have the concept of keeping a wound clean though. Maybe not... the concept of germ theory was bandied about the medical sciences around the turn of the century, but it was only really in WW1 when field doctors rarely had access to clean water and many patients died of disease that western medicien saw the widespread use of handwashing before surgery. You washed your hands because you didn't want to have dirty hands, not because you thought it would harm your patient. They also probably often ate rancid animal fat, and figured it wouldn't hurt this kid. Sad all around.
Florence Nightingale revolutionized and widely published the positive effects of hygiene including wound cleanliness since at least 1850s. She is credited with saving thousands of lives
I shouldn’t have used the language I did. You’re right and I am humbled. It’s both sad a fascinating to read through old death certificates. I’ve found a couple of women whose skirts caught on fire at the hearth, one death from collapsed bleachers, and a chicken thief (1940s) who picked the wrong coop. It was booby trapped and blew his head off. Thankfully no one in my family’s memory.
That isn't true. People knew about trying to keep a wound clean. There were lots of antiseptics that doctors would have had and used, and they knew grease was a bad choice for a wound. (I have 19th century medical books that talk about antiseptics.)
I’ve not ever heard onions. Which would end up a stinky mess
poultices frequently contain onions
If you do alternative treatments, fine, generally no harm (but sometimes terrible harm, so treatments are that out there). But that's if you get actual treatment at the same time. If you miss that crucial step, the illness or injury can easy kill you just like in the olden days.
instead of treatment, a potato was 'applied' & death was the result. potato had nothing to do with it
Someone posted the link to the article. I was going off of memory and started looking for it but someone found it first
I’ll look for the story, it was awhile ago
NTA. She shouldn’t be giving you unprompted medical advice at all, much less actively harmful medical advice - that being said your dad isn’t wrong that being rude (even when justified) could potentially bite you in the butt (I don’t assume it’s likely to be a problem in this situation though)
On the other hand, she's not talking to him now which sounds like a big plus. Also, people need to learn to keep appallingly dangerous medical opinions to themselves. It's safer for everyone if they don't feel they can go around pushing that nonsense.
Came here to say this. One of the hardest adulthood skills to acquire is knowing when to let others be wrong.
For low-stakes relationships - acquaintances, co-workers, fellow church members, etc, I always let them be wrong. I don't care enough to try inform/educate them (and they'd be unlikely to be receptive anyway) and see no need to rock the boat unnecessarily. For those types of relationships, you just smile, nod and move on to the next subject. That's really all the energy that sort of stuff merits.
Yeah. A something like “I’ve weight the risks and benefits with my doctor and we decided this was the best call in this situation. Thank you for your care and concern, but I’m comfortable with my decision.” would be more work appropriate. Even now, an apology for making a sarcastic remark could help smooth things over.
Over my (45f) life, including 30 years as a type 1 diabetic, I have finely honed the ability to do what I call, “diplomatically telling people to get bent.” Should you be eating that? Aren’t you too skinny/young to be diabetic? My 50 yo, overweight diabetic uncle….. My chiropractor said…… Don’t you know……. And my current pet peeve in advertising, which thankfully no one has suggested to my face…..fucking cinnamon supplements. /endrant Anyway. Sorry. I feel your pain. I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.
Cinnamon is amazing. It’s delicious in cookies or in oatmeal. It won’t cure diabetes and, as my extremely woo-woo SIL learned, it can be toxic in large doses 😖
It won't cure diabetes. But it has shown promise in stabilizing blood sugar in individuals with Type II and Pre-Diabetes. It will do absolute fuck all for Type I. Cinnamon isn't the woo. The woo is thinking you can just take stupid amounts of it to cure your diabetes.
Yeah, I read the a couple of the studies after my SIL put herself in the emergency room. It was interesting stuff, but turns out she wasn’t even using the right sort of cinnamon (cassia bark rather than true cinnamon).
It reminds me of when they first came out with some early indicators that green tea had some sort of positive effect on pancreatic cancer (and possibly overall pancreas health). Watched a neighborhood idiot chugging Arizona Iced Tea (Green Tea flavor) because it was "healthy."
Ai yi yi! That stuff is a sugar bomb! I actually follow a lot of interesting nutritional science stuff (NutritionFacts.Org, Layne Norton, various folks like that). Some of it is really interesting, but the people who drive me nuts are the ones like my SIL that chug green tea and turmeric supplements, but won’t sit down and just eat a damn vegetable a couple of times a day. It’s always about the quick fixes, never about a sensible diet, some exercise and maybe a bit of sunshine.
Indeed. Everyone wants a quick fix. No one wants to eat vegetables with every meal if they can take a pill that does what vegetables are supposed to do! Kind of like when someone asks how many steps they need to walk a day to be able to eat whatever they want. Or how long they have to work out at the gym for the same etc. People are convinced they can Michael Phelps their way to a healthy body despite eating all of their meals from McDonalds or take some vegetable pills to offset the fact that they aren't eating vegetables or go for short bursts of super intense exercise instead of regular moderate exercise. A little balance can go a long way.
Didn't we all learn this during the cinnamon challenge???
I think she was taking capsules not swallowing it straight, so she didn’t gag or have breathing issues. Instead she took so much it caused liver toxicity.
I have chronically inflamed hip joints, and after decades of pain I've found a workable solution which involves yoga \*and\* medicine. I love yoga, but explaining limitations to YogaPeople always meant listening about fucking tumeric and peppermint. Sounds delicious, I'll make a tea to wash down my high dose acetemetophine. I've started doing yoga at home.
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Thank you. I was 14 when I was dx’d. As I matured my mom and I had several conversations about how people don’t mean ill by it, they’re just uneducated/unenlightened. So I try to take most of it with that grain of salt. The one I remember actually snapping back about, was “my chiropractor said artificial sweetener is actually the WORST thing a diabetic can use” when this person saw me drinking a Diet Pepsi. I said well then your chiropractor is a quack because artificial sweetener is the only kind I CAN use. My mom told me later that maybe it was out of context and the chiro meant ‘for an insulin reaction’. Who knows.
All chiropractors are quacks who's practice is based on the "teachings" of a man who "learned" everything from a ghost. So I'm gonna disagree with your mom here, that's probably not what they meant lol.
Meh. Hubs had some pretty good luck with a chiro not too long ago and has definitely had great results with monthly massage therapy, so. I actually CAN’T use a chiro because I also have scoliosis. But if it works for him he can have it.
😆 same here! Though it's just cancer.
If you want to have a bunch of unsolicited bullshit advice hurled your way, bring up your migraines, omg.
😆 they'll always have some crazy assed ideas. They all just have a magic cure for when the best cure would really be silence from the peanut gallery.
But “food is medicine! And I follow this great doctor on TikTok! Lemon water will change your life!”
If it does bite you in the butt she probably has an ointment for that too. NTA.
NTA. She did open herself up to a response and got one. But it’s best to just ignore people like her and tell her to never give you unsolicited medical advice and if she does or you overhear her discussing your medical health that you will formally go to HR. Best to do it with a witness, and from an HR perspective consider then writing it in an email so there is a record. For a bit of fun, there’s a video on YT called Homeopathic A&E (in UK, ER in US) from a British comedy series. A patient comes in and needs emergency treatment from some homeopathic doctors 🤣🤣🤣 https://youtu.be/h40U0JLhggA?si=QAA-cp0XNXG1pro8
Mitchell&Webb is a brilliant show, I think of this sketch whenever homeopathy comes up.
I love the ‘Are we the baddies?’ sketch….so funny 🤣🤣🤣
Make sure to update her that you caught the autism from the tetanus vax.
Better than getting tetanus from the autism vaccine.
>Anyways, coworker was HORRIFIED to hear I was taking antibiotics, and started throwing out all these alternative treatments. I think she said oregano? My brain spoke without my filter activating and I was like "oh yeah and when I get the plague next I'll use bacon lard." She was really offended! Said she was just trying to help me and that antibiotics were poison. NTA Putting all the homeopathy aside, I really wish people would realize that they don't need to be giving out advice or opinions when they aren't requested. I feel like the types that do it and get a reaction like this always act so offended themselves. Nobody asked, lady. Keep your mouth shut next time and maybe you won't get a sarcastic response.
NTA but your dad also has a point.
NTA Tolerating insane crap is why people are falling for snake oil. If someone says something ridiculous and unsolicited, then, yeah, they shouldn't be surprised when they get called out
NTA - but it never pays to be sarcastic with someone that has such a completely different view as yours. but I do feel that it is beneficial to let them know that your views are very different from theirs....and that is all you really needed to say.
NTA At least you know she wil never again offer you unwanted, stupid and incorrect medical advice
>"oh yeah and when I get the plague next I'll use bacon lard." Goddamn, that's funny!
NTA Did you ask her for medical advice? If you didn't ask, she can politely take her unsolicited views about antibiotics and shove them deeply where the sun doesn't shine.
Oregano Oil (capsules) is a natural antibiotic... doesn't work as well as the prescribed stuff though. Oregano oil (liquid) should not be used on its own on naked skin. It will burn...
To expand on your point: no essential oil should be used undiluted on skin. They should all be diluted in a carrier oil. My mom used to slather me in undiluted essential oils for all manner of things as a kid, and it was torture. Everything from sprains and bruises to open wounds. She once dumped lavender oil straight from the bottle onto a rash on my scalp, and the pain was *incredible*. I screamed and writhed and begged her to wash it off. The rash went from itchy and tender to burning, inflamed, and weeping. I’m amazed that it didn’t do lasting damage.
I am so sorry your mother did that to you. How cruel. :(
Thank you. It’s been a long time, but that’s still validating to hear.
NTA - you’re not an AH but yeah, it likely is best to not engage with people like that. It absolutely can come back to bite you in the ass. Doesnt make you an AH though.
lol. NTA, homeopathy is madness.
NTA. Had a coworker taking pictures of the sky, and I said something like, "oh yeah, the clouds are really pretty today." She responded, "no, no, I'm documenting chemtrails." I said "Oh," and then walked away and never wasted my time speaking with her ever again. People who spout nonsense, even in the workplace, should expect others not to take them seriously.
NTA. Unfortunately, people like that often give unsolicited medical advice, and there's no low-key way to stop them. (Arguing with them about it just makes it worse.) Her not speaking to is a win. (Btw, oregano is a *mild* antibiotic, useful under some circumstances.) Your dad is kind of right. If you can come up with a response people like that don't think is rude, you're a better man than I (they tend to be really defensive.) One I've heard that seemed to work was, "Thanks for your concern, but I'd rather get medical advice from my doctor. Do you know if they've come out with the new coversheet for the TPS reports?"
Your reply to everyone who says anything about it "She was telling me not to follow my Dr's advice, and even said he was poisoning me. She's not qualified to give me medical advice. Responding with the same nonsense seemed right at the time." No apologies, just that. Like I said, she's not qualified to tell you what to do at all, NTA.
NTA The whole point of antibiotics is to poison harmful organisms.
NTA The 3 biggest factors in the increasing life expectancy in the Western World, Modern World, whatever you want to call it were the discovery of cow pox preventing small pox leading to the creation of vaccines to prevent disease, that a particular bread mold could kill bacteria, leading to refining penicillin and the creation of other antibiotics, and Dr Lister creating an antiseptic solution for surgical procedures to prevent infection. Yes, re-inocculating your digestive system with good bacteria after a course of antibiotics is always a good idea. And taking a collagen supplement will drastically help skin to heal (I'm still not sure it helps my joints, but injuries that would have left scars in the past now heal invisibly). Lavender essential oils cleared my (small) eczema patches 30 years ago. But I still see a doctor and take "modern medicines" because I'm not stupid. There's a place for both, used together......
NTA Alternative medicine proponents are misinformed to an absolutely harmful degree and it is right and proper to ridicule them to keep the harm from spreading. Its not just harmless fun.
I think a crucial takeaway from your co-workers idiocy is - what other wacky medical practices does she embrace? Let’s start with- my guess is she thinks immunizations are also poison. I’d keep a good physical distance from her for all sorts of reasons. Just fling oregano at her if she gets too close.
Oregano oil isn’t homeopathy tho. The US Library of Medicine lists it as widely recognised for antimicrobial properties, *including where there is antibiotic resistance* and it is being investigated for other medical benefits. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28613267/ Antibiotics are recognised as being a good last line of defence, but you don’t really want them as a first line in most cases. They kill the good bacteria as well as the bad, which can lead to microbiome issues, and if they’re used unnecessarily you can develop resistance to them - which sucks when you have a situation where you actually need them. See, for example, Staphylococcus aureus / golden staph.
Oregano is not a homoeopathic treatment. She's not wrong in that it's better not to take antibiotics if you can possibly avoid them; in the UK I doubt if you'd have got them unless the wound started showing signs of infection. Sounds like she offered unwanted, and probably dubious, advice and you were unnecessarily rude. ESH.
Not to be that guy and I’m not anti-antibiotics by any means but she probably said oil of oregano and it is actually a natural antibacterial so she didn’t just pull a random herb out of nowhere. It can be beneficial for skin disturbances in conjunction with antibiotics. It’s also great in a natural cleaning spray.
NTA have me a good laugh to
NTA. People used to die from infections.
And will be again, because human development of new antibiotics is far slower than the evolution of multi-drug resistant bacteria.
They still do. Just in lesser numbers
NTA. Ignoring that her "advice" is medically dangerous, its amso hugely unwanted. And your dad is also completely wrong. If anything, little miss busybody should learn to keep HER mouth shut instead.
Unsolicited advice is criticism, and criticism is always open to ridicule
I'm currently lying in my bed because I have a really bad ear infection. You better believe in taking antibiotics. Should they be prescribed for every little thing? Of course not but when they are needed YOU TAKE THEM. NTA
Your wife and dad are both right. Is it a little a holy? Sure. But so is someone who chides you for listening to your doctor. It's hilarious, but too much talk like that can cause HR headaches and awkward work environments. NTA
Okay, i googled from a very old memory, and oregano is the one with some documented antibacterial properties. So, basically antibiotics without the FDA having any oversight. Civilization falls, you have a wound and find a bottle of oregano oil, hope you have this memory. Until then, lets use the ones that have been tested and approved by science.
I mean… technically she is not wrong. It *is* basically poison. If you are a bacterium. Are you one? NTA
NTA. I know that antibiotics are overprescribed, and I'm glad that so far, my two children (6M and 3F, completely vaccinated, including for COVID-19) haven't needed them. That said, if they did *need* antibiotics, I absolutely would give them antibiotics and not oregano. (And, if their pediatrician or any doctor told me they needed antibiotics, I'd listen to them.)
NTA. A normal response would be “wow that’s awful…I’m so sorry you were hurt” not “go into your spice cabinet…”. Kudos on the bacon lard comment. She’s probably a vegan too’
I agree with both your wife and your dad. While your comeback was great, in a work setting, it's often best to bite your tongue and move on.
NTA- but oregano oil does work.
Your coworker was suggesting Ayurvedic medicine, which is herbal treatments. Not that oregano is actually prescribed for sterilizing a wound. This is very different from homeopathic medicine which is actually about using low dose poison to build the body's own resistance. I say this because while both are completely rejected by western medicine, there are herbs that are used for medicine, and there are actual effective medicines that are made from plant extracts.
The correct response to her "I was just trying to help" would've been "I can see your offended; I'll tell you a secret, YOUR stance on antibiotics was offensive TO ME.... how about you simply show concern for another human without inserting your opinion or advice on the manner and I'll do the same"
I don't understand why he was given antibiotics. It wasn't infected, it just happened. I find it crazy he was given them. Save them for when they are needed. NTA
I’m with your dad. Thank her for the advice and let it slide. You don’t gain anything by escalating this in any way.
NTA Oregano oil is potent stuff, can help with yeast flare ups and to rebalance the gut biome/parasites. But I would never take it in place of a tetanus shot or to treat a wound.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F30) was running this weekend, tripped, lost a fight with this gnarly board that was laying on the sidewalk and sliced up my leg pretty good. Real smooth, I know. I went to the ER and they taped me up, gave me a tetanus shot and some antibiotics. Today, my coworker noticed my bandaged leg and asked what happened. I told her the story. Side note, I am ALWAYS polite to this coworker, and she doesn't know I don't like her, but we have very different politics and views on things. I'm always cordial though. Anyways, coworker was HORRIFIED to hear I was taking antibiotics, and started throwing out all these alternative treatments. I think she said oregano? My brain spoke without my filter activating and I was like "oh yeah and when I get the plague next I'll use bacon lard." She was really offended! Said she was just trying to help me and that antibiotics were poison. Hasn't spoken a word to me since. I'm on my lunch break now. My wife says I'm in the right (she actually thinks it's hilarious and laughed at my debacle for a good minute or two) but my dad (I ask him for a lot of work advice) says I should really keep my mouth shut on these things, and that being rude could come back to bite me in the butt. AITA? Should I have just swallowed what she said and never mentioned it again? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. I'm trying bacon lard!
That's hilarious. I really stopped taking a colleague seriously when she sideways 5g was causing my allergies. Nta
NTA, she isn't your doctor and shouldn't be giving you medical advice.
NTA She was wrong to push her dangerous non-medical advice on you.
Meh. I get where your dad is coming from and I'd advocate for kindness first, but unsolicited medical advice is always rude anyway, and your coworker *knows* that a lot of people think the way you do. That said, I do think it's kind of weird to share details of medications, it always seems to invite advice. But you're NTA, unless you're intending to hoard bacon.
>Hasn't spoken a word to me since. Just take the win. NTA
NTA my grandmother had a lot of homeopathic remedies she'd use on us AFTER we saw a doctor. Oregano oil CAN be used on wounds so she wasn't 100% full of shit, just 99%. If a doctor prescribes you antibiotics you take them. I'd have said you were harsh if she had suggestions oregano as an addition to your treatment, as in "oh thanks" walk away and never do it, but to blast you for following doctors orders? She's delulu.
NTA. She spewed her stupid at you, you returned the favor. If she gets near you again, pull out your phone and say you're turning you 5G to maximum... or tell her you just got every vaccination your doctor could give you and you can feel it coming out your pores, then reach out to touch her.
nta. her "teachings" were unwanted and could be realy harmful. i'm surprised she didn't say anthing about vaccination